Yes Bella, you are right, “They’re NOT Bears!”

*In honor of our dear UC who loves to call me and say “They’re Not Bears!” I bring you this lovely letter from the even lovelier Bella (and Alice) from Not and Addikt*

Dear Bella,

You know, I gotta hand it to Edward: you’re a lot more observant than all of us initially gave you credit for. You immediately noticed the Cullens, you worked out all on your own that men get crabby when they’re hungry, and in the blink of an eye, you noticed those big wolves in New Moon are NOT bears. Whew, I’m glad you pointed that one out, because frankly, I was still puzzled and confused until you put me in the know. Then again, no wonder you’re such an expert, what with all the wildlife problems Forks has been having. Animal attacks, giant bears, local kids that explode into giant wolves and the likes. Anywho, it got me wondering what a movie night with you would be like. Are you one of those annoying people who figure out the plot after 5 minutes and can’t help but release my poor soul from its ignorance? Do you keep on slurping through your straw even though that coke has been emptied hours ago? Do you finish your snacks after 15 minutes and then eye mine like a PMSing vulture? Do you repeat that one semi-funny movie quote for days to come, like I do to annoy my bloggy pal Alice? Only one way to find out. Pull on your favourite pair of holey sweatpants, send Eddie hunting for a night, and browse my dvd collection for something you like. How about we make this a little marathon movie night? Allright, here we go.

Oh, so you’re into sci-fi trilogies, are you? So am I. Then again, Star Wars IS a classic.

No but they’re not wolves either. Got any other furry foresty suggestions?

Spot on again Bella, they are indeed NOT bears. We know they’re neither Ork nor Troll. So it makes total sense for you to inform us they’re also not bears, about as much sense as the fact that you are sharing a frame with a band of feisty Uruk Hais in Middle Earth.

Follow the cut to see what else is NOT a bear according to Bella

Indeed, not bears, but cutesy cutesy Velociraptors! They have a huge claw on each foot that could rip your bowels or other organs, say, your uterus, out in mere seconds. Ring a bell? Did you know I used to think I was the reincarnation of a Velociraptor because of my big toes? Anyway, that’s a different story. Moving on to the next trilogy… Oh wait! This one is by our favorite director, C-Dub! You know, that tall man in the yellow pants that taught you how to deliver “They’re NOT bears!” without stuttering or blinking? That’s the one.

errr… No, Bella, that would be a polar bear. Sorry, honey. I’m so telling Edward. He’ll love this.

Which one do you mean, dear? The one on the right or the one on the left? You’re right about the first one, but did any zoölogist confirm that the Beast is indeed not a bear? Hey, maybe you can google it!

Why no, Bella, they are not bears… and quite frankly, just because they are vertically challenged little men, doesn’t give you the right to compare them to animals. Now go say you’re sorry.

They aren’t? The color must have gotten me all confused. So I hear they are blue aliens. Okay, technically, the one in the front is a remote controlled body constructed from native genes mixed with human genes, but those are details, so forget that.

Okay Bella… this has been… fun. Maybe next time I get to pick the movies. But perhaps it would be wise to skip Disney movies and sci-fi in general, so as not to confuse you again. I know, you never paid a lot of attention in biology, so it’s quite a feat for you to distinguish bears from all the rest. But really, I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t pay much attention in biology either if Edward were sitting next to me.

Love and a pair of 3D glasses,

Give Bella from Not an Addikt a big hand and if you’re not a follower of her or reader of her and Alice’s blog Not an Addikt, than you’re missing out!

What else is not a bear? Did you know that my computer things velociraptor is spelled wrong? Did you watch Rob on Jimmy Fallon last night, were you JEALOUS of UC?! I WAS!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

63 Responses

  1. Oh B I love it (duh)!!
    That was hilar!
    Actually, movies with Book B would probably be an
    experience … I mean, she loves the old books but would she love their movie counterparts? Or would she completely rag on them and hate them?

    P.S. I think I may have waffled a bit!

  2. Rob is not a bear!

  3. Maybe Bella could wander into that little know gay bar in Port Angeles and clarify if there are any bears there.

  4. Omg Bella (not an addikt…not the Swan) that was just epic! LOL forever! *Starts slow clap*

    “That’s not a bear, thats an iceberg!”
    “He sees dead people dammit! and they’re NOT bears”

    Yeeeaaahh…It’s not as funny when I do it.
    Morning everybody!
    The Hamster is repentant!
    *hands out cookies*

    • *accepts cookie, stuffs it in her mouth and joins slow clap (the small girl in the back)*

      • *clap………clap………clap…….clap…….clap……clap*

        • *clap..clap..clap..clap..* Seriously, Bella. Amazing. I love it when LTT makes me spit my after workout smoothie out of my nose in the morning. Take that, daily caloric intake!

          • Glad to be of help with (un)intended diets 🙂
            Isn’t there a blog out there somewhere of a Twimom who lost a lot of weight because of Twilight? Yeah, I’d look that up if I weren’t feeling lazy right now.

    • Bahaha, love the dead people! Book Bella and Haley Joel Osmont should have a showdown where Haley yells “I see bears!” and Bella yells back “They’re NOT bears!”

      *the psychiatric intervention team is standing by because they want to know who will give up first*

  5. Renesmee is NOT a bear. She may have beaten you and mauled you from the womb but that doesn’t make her a bear Bella.

  6. hey guys miss you, hope everything is doing great : )

  7. Your computer thinks velociraptor is spelled wrong? Psssht, SUCH a common word!

    *ducks for the pencils and erasers flying her way (old habits die hard, especially those learned during elementary school)*

  8. I’m not a bear…

    But I’ve heard stories about some people who are.

    It’s terrifying, really.

    PS. Bella, you are awesomeness personified! 🙂

  9. Dear Bella (Swan),
    Do you take your Grandma to the movies with you and share a bag of werthers, unwraping each one so methodically slow so as to still be able to hear the movie, yet drive the rest of us mad? Or do you whisper questions about the movie as is plays out? Are those bears? They look like bears, but I don’t know. They can’t be bears. Oh! Look! They aren’t bears now are they…..

    Dear Bella NaA,
    Brill letter, love. The other Bella can be so clueless sometimes, so I’m glad you cleared it up for her.

    Hugs, SP

  10. According to Google, these ARE bears.

  11. Wonderful. Simply wonderful.

    Movietime with Bella could be torturous. Especially if she also keeps hitting your shoulder and going, “OH! Watch this part! Are you watching?”

    But hey, if she’ll cook dinner, I’ll let it slide. If she gets too annoying, I’ll suggest a movie marathon. Sometime during “Care Bears: The Movie,” “Grizzly Adams,” or “The Great Outdoors,” she just might catch on.

  12. Bella NaA wins the internets today.

  13. Don’t you mean animal a-tick?
    Every time I hear someone say attack I mentally correct them and say “a-tick”. Oh Carlisle, don’t go changin’.

  14. Ok, you just made me want to watch Beauty and the Beast, like right now! I haven’t seen that movie in ages. Love the letter and the Ewoks!

  15. If the wolves were bears, what would Emmett do? Could he be an ally with his prey? I don’t know that he would have the self control.

  16. Bella NaA, That was awesome. I was wondering if owning holey sweatpants is required for movie viewing with Bella, because I do not own any. Not even for painting in….

    I think I will watch Grizzly Man with Bella, just so we can further clarify what bears ARE.


    • Although holey sweatpants ARE the common uniform for movie nights with Bella, we’ll gladly make an exception for you. Perhaps we’ll make you stand up on a chair and say “And I don’t just surf the internet!” but after that, the lack of holey sweatpants will definitely be forgiven.

  17. I am wondering – was UC one of the girls yelling “PLEASE” and Jimmy thought they were saying Squeeze (squeee!) ? Poor Rob looked flustered at all those ladies yelling “please” haha!
    I totes think when Rob heard Jimmy say “Twite Stripes” and Rob looked confused that he thought Jimmy said “Twat Stripes”. You know he’s been talking a lot about genitals lately.

    Also – I would rather watch movies with book Bella. KStew would blink so much she’d miss all the good parts.

    • It seemed like the audience was as much a part of the interview as Rob was!

      I couldn’t quite figure out what was wrong with Twilite Stripes either. I agree Rob must have misheard… or just wanted to be BOTHERED at some point in the interview.

    • “You know he’s been talking a lot about genitals lately.”

      He’s already reached that stage. Our boy is growing up so fast :(.

    • I didn’t get why they were having such a hard time understanding “please.” It seemed obvious to me. Of course, maybe that is because I was yelling “please” at my tv.

    • It almost seemed as if Jimmy Fallon was dazzled by Rob.

  18. Dear Bella,
    Those are NOT pants. Those are leggings aka undergarments. Also, olive oil is NOT a hair product.
    (confusing KStew with Bella. Ref: Remember Me premiere)

    P.S. as I brace myself for the downthumbs especially after school is let out this afternoon, I do want to say the look works for her and in a weird way I thought the lace leggings and leather jacket was kind of cool. You have to admit K has a style of her own. With the exception of her hair…pleaaase do something with it, K, it’s really hard to defend you with your crazy bad hair styles.

  19. Here’s a little game I made up (in my 5 min break from the Sock Puppets) called ‘They;re not Bears’. It can be played singly or in groups.

    Wherever you are you have to point at something in multiples (that is not a bear) & say, OUT LOUD, ‘They’re not Bears!’. It’s surprisingly funny, the more you do it,the faster you do it, the funnier it gets….trust me. I don’t think Bella knows it.

    I am also the inventor of one of the planet’s best Dog games, known as ‘Dog Bacon’ (no dogs (they’re not bears!) are hurt in the playing of this game). Apply for details.

    • I’m concerned that perhaps you shouldn’t play it by yourself too much, at the risk of people thinking your crazy. Unless you’re all alone that is.

  20. PS Thank you SO MUCH for including Jurassic Park. As sparkly and emo as Smeyer’s vamps are, they do kinda remind me of velociraptors.

    I’d love it if Jasper could work this into Eclipse training.

    “Watch out for the newborns. You stare at them, and they just stare right back. And that’s when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side. [whooshing sound] From the other two vampires you didn’t even know were there.”

  21. Sasquatch?

  22. LOL… bella with 3D glasses… so funny! 😀

  23. I read this post, “in the blink of an eye” and enjoyed it and all the cute pics. They’re Not Bears!

  24. […] Yes Bella, you are right, “They’re NOT Bears!” *In honor of our dear UC who loves to call me and say “They’re Not Bears!” I bring you this lovely […] […]

  25. Ahh I love this! LMAO My favorite is the ewoks and Avatar, Bella rockin’ those 3D glasses.

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