Sunday appreciation of the best/worst New Moon video ever!

Dear LTT-ers,

In honor of some of my bestest pals and the most awesome tshirt ever created, I present to you our favorite video:

3 Wolf Moon!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

This has spawned about a million references among my circle of friends. Most specifically “he’s just super sweet, I don’t know why!” It’s perfect to use when you just can’t explain why… and besides the main guy totally reminds me of this dude I used to work with, ill fitting tshirt and all.

Enjoy!

Moon

What are some of your favorite New Moon videos? Which ones haven’t we seen?

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

A Twilight themed wedding (take 2)

Dear Brides to be, girls hoping to be brides to be & Bella in the last part of Eclipse and first few pages of Breaking Dawn,

Once upon a time, Aunties Moon & UC answered answered a letter from a Twi Bride to Be on how to best adorn her wedding with Twilight-related ideas & items and we had some really unique ideas to share. I suggest catching up on that letter if it’s been awhile or you never read it. Here are a few highlights to remind you of our brilliant ideas:

Glitter: Don’t forget to adorn yourself in glitter. You need to be a sparkling beauty for all your guests. If The Stuward is a unique guy (and it sounds like he is) he might want to adorn himself in glitter as well.  For added effect, why don’t you have his chest exposed slightly- just have the buttons done half-way and have his jacket open.  If you have the extra money, dim the lights in the room & have a spotlight shine directly on his chest (that way the audience will really see him sparkle)

Music: Walk down the aisle to something from the Twilight soundtrack.  It depends on what you’re like. If you want a party atmosphere, we suggest Perry Farrell’s “Go all the way.” If you’d like something more somber, maybe walk down to “Clair de Lune.” That’s probably a good choice as it’s pretty unique and probably hasnt’ been done in many weddings. If you want my honest opinion, I’d suggest walking down to “Never Think” by Robert Pattinson.  How beautiful would it be to walk toward your Stuward hearing the guy who played Edward sing a song? I have chills thinking of the moment…

Of course we ended the letter with a strong suggestion for those readers who don’t yet understand s-a-r-c-a-s-m to NOT listen to our advice. I made this statement:

Don’t ever ever ever ever ever mirror your wedding after a book about vampires.

And I have to say, I take it back….. in this case:

The wedding planned explained:

We mainly took our inspiration from the fourth book in The Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, Breaking Dawn, in which the two characters Bella and Edward get married. The wedding was described as taking place at the house where Edward and his family live in the woods surrounded by all white flowers. We also took inspiration from the iconic cover of the first book where hands are holding an apple. Apples were used as escort cards, candleholders, a cake topper, and our signature beverage, hot apple cider…..For the bouquet, we used peonies, roses, lisianthus, dusty miller and bluporum tied with a simple white ribbon that had the words “so the lion fell in love with the lamb” written by our calligrapher, Calligraphy Katrina.

Notice there’s no glitter, no red ribbons & no fake blood. (What kind of Twilight-themed wedding IS this!?)

Would YOU do this!?

Dreaming of throwing my wedding again (and speeding up that “Find Moon a husband” project so I can pick out my Breaking Dawn inspired Bridesmaid dress. I’m pushing for something reminiscent of French lingerie… 🙂 ),
UnintendedChoice

Hop on over to the wedding site where this wedding is mentioned. There are more pictures and it’s TRULY breathtaking!

Someone sent this to me and I TOTALLY forget who. I’m sorry. I suck. Forgive me person who sent this to me!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

My Edward/Jacob Manllow – A secret affair

The Edward "Manllow"

Dear LTT-ers, Twihards and makers of Twilight Merchandise,

Of ALL the things on the internet that are Twilight related and have come out over the past couple years the one I’ve been sent to most BY FAR has to be the Manllow!! Yes, EVERYONE and their iguana sent me (and UC) the link to that pillow shaped like a man with Edward or Jacob’s face printed on it on it.

And I must apologize for not returning all those emails because, honestly… I already have my own Manllow* and I’ve just been TOO busy this week with him/it to be bothered to write any of you back. Sorry Mom, sorry bill collectors, sorry BFF’s from high school looking to reconnect, sorry 8374349 Facebook notifications, sorry Grandma and sorry organ donor society emailing to tell me my new heart is available, I can’t write you back. I have a Manllow and I’m not afraid to sleep with it!

So why have I been too busy to answer my emails because of a Manllow, you say? What have I been doing with the Manllow?

Don't look now Jacob, Edward Manllow and I are having a private moment

  • Watching movies and the entire 2nd season of Six Feet Under with my Manllow is a no-brainer. He holds the remote AND me while I cry over David and Keith’s lost love and the craziness that is Brenda (seriously can she die yet?)
  • He’s also a great day bed and hang out spot for my 10 cats! They love purring in his arms when I’m away for the day. Manllow is NEVER lonely for company
  • When I want a night in I cook a special dinner of Lean Cuisines for the both of us and pop the top on some Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaii, light a few candles and have a special romantic night for two

Oh and FYI the Manllow isn’t just for your bedroom, you can take the Manllow into public with you… here’s what I’ve done with my Manllow outside of the bedroom this week

Ain't no thang just a Manllow threesome

  • I live in LA so traffic is horrendous! Our lovely Dept of Transportation provides HOV lanes for vehicles with more than one person riding in them and they go way faster than regular lanes. SO to save time on my way to see New Moon for the 8 gajillionth time I stuck my Manllow in the passenger seat and zoomed off down the freeway in search of popcorn and Face Punches!
  • My Manllow and I snuggled at the movie theater with the armrest UP! Making out WITH Edward/Jacob WHILE watching New Moon in the theater? You should try it sometime, I HIGHLY suggest it
  • Went for a picnic with my Manllow. Griffith Park will never be the same now that I’ve reenacted the Meadow Scene with the Edward Manllow. He sparkled and we talked about forever. It was magical. Sorry UC.
  • I take my Manllow shopping with me. I stick him in the front basket of the grocery buggy and he points out everything he wants. Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Check! Cuties? Check! Cookies & Cream Dreyers Yogurt? Check! Cat Food? Check! Ladies Dove Deodorant? Check! I mean…
  • For dinner I took my Edward/Jacob Manllow to Fridays so I could get the 2 for Tuesdays. Two appetizers, two dinner entress and two desserts all for 22.22! What a steal that I couldn’t have gotten without my Manllow. We even saw Cathy Hardwicke in the bar and she sent over a mucho Cougarita “for Rob, call me.” How nice was that?!

Love me, love my Manllow

So can you blame me, people? The Manllow and I are in love and just like Lars and Bianca in Lars & the Real Girl- we’re taking our love public and we’re here to stay regardless of public perception that I am a crazy lunatic. My Manllow loves me just the way I am.

My Manllow kinda makes me think of the Kid Sister/My Buddy that I had as a kid… only WAY more adult. Ifyouknowwhatimsaying. So all week I’ve been signing the theme song… sing it with me friends:

My Manllow, my Manllow… my Manllow aaaannddd mmeeee!

XO
Themoonisdown

Who has a Manllow on back order? Do you think I’m legit and actually really have a Manllow? What would YOU do with your Manllow?

I’d tell you to get your OWN Manllow but they’re SOLD OUT!

*HALE NO I do NOT own an Edward/Jacob Manllow and I’m allergic to cats!*

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Reasons to keep blogging about vampires

Dear faithful readers,

Quite often we receive emails from our beloved readers and without a doubt a first time emailer always says something like this:

UC & Moon,

Oh I feel like I’m writing to celebrities! You guys have no idea how lost I was before I found you. I’ve just stopped working for the past 3 days to read EVERY SINGLE post you wrote in the past! I think you are so funny and smart and SO freakin’ beautiful. I mean, UC, have you considered sending in a picture to Rob? He’d drop whatsherface in a second if he knew what you looked like. I don’t know how you guys do it- write letters- each and every day!

Love,
Your biggest fan

Okay so maybe I made SOME of that up, but without a doubt, at least once a day we get asked “how do you do it day after day?” Whenever I get those emails I want to write back:

IT’S 11:48PM AND I HAVE TO BE IN BED AT MIDNIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE UP AT 6:30 FOR WORK AND I HAVEN’T WRITTEN A SINGLE WORD OF MY LETTER TOMORROW. SO HOW DO I DO IT EACH AND EVERY DAY? HOW ABOUT I STOP. DO YOU WANT TO WRITE MY LETTER TOMORROW?

All in caps like a 12 year old (or my grandmother) for emphasis. Because some days, and I’ll be honest MOST days these days, I have NO inspiration. Nothing to write. Usually “how” I do it day after day is that I heard the news, read something funny, got a brilliant idea during the day at work. I start a draft or jot down ideas in no real form and then later that night when I’m home, I spend a little bit of time crafting it into a letter. The problem THESE days is that there’s no ideas flowing while at work. There’s no news to speak of or no funny things to make funnier. So no draft gets written, and I get home and want to watch the Olympics/Gossip Girl/Anything just so that I don’t have to write my letter. And that’s NOT fun.

But I don’t want to stop blogging about Vampires. I like blogging about vampires. (And I should probably add on to the “vampire-blogging” title and include things NOT related really at ALL to vampires but still somehow all relate back to vampires, like: pedophilia/monkeys/buttcracks/olive garden/lesbianism/XXL polo shirts/Taylor Swift/Paris’ Hilton’s ex’s etc. etc. etc.)

But I need encouragement. I need to remember WHY I do this. So I’ve decided to create a document. For Moon too because she’s in the same boat I am. Here are the reasons I came up with for why I can’t stop blogging about vampires:

Big Daddy Lautner1. We still haven’t met Big Daddy: The cream of the crop, the creme de la creme, the goal, my life’s mission and once it’s done I can die happy. And it hasn’t happened yet. Do you think it’s gonna happen if I give up LTT and go back to my boring blog with 58 followers (Aww that was mean- I love my boring blog. Sorry boring blog) NO. I must keep blogging about Vampires in order to hopefully one day meet Big Daddy Daniel Lautner, former pilot now In-N-Out destroyer/Olive Garden supporter. I know that the more I mention “Fish-o-filet” sammys in my letters, the better chance we’ll come up in a google search result for “Fish-O-Filet” and Big Daddy will see our site and think “They want to meet me!?” So if you’re reading this Big Daddy Daniel Lautner, Yes! We want to meet you. And we want to throw our hands 1/4 a way around you in a big hug. Or grab a bunch of friends to do a group hug so we can reach all the way around.

2. We still have two- maybe three- more movies: (F-M-L) And with epicness like Buttcrack Santa in Twilight, strong KungFu and “they’re not bears” in New Moon, you KNOW whatever Eclipse and Breaking Dawn #1 and #2 will bring will be THAT MUCH MORE EPIC! I mean, imagine all the jokes we’ll make when Taylor has to act like a guy/wolf in love eventually but not yet with a CGI baby. I mean, we’re gonna see Kristen with a prosthetic stomach. We HAVE to be around for that! The fandom needs us. We can’t let someone think “Oh, that’s not as awkward as I thought it was gonna be.” You’re wrong, fandom. We know this already. It is MORE awkward and we have to be around to remind you of that daily!

Meet Boo-Boo. Does that move look familiar?

3. Where will all your fine readers go? Back to boring un-named blogs that say things like “Here is a picture of Boo-boo Stewart hugging a little child. How sweet” NO! That cannot happen! There will be a day, mark my words, probably the summer between 9th and 10th grades, when Boo Boo’s balls drop, his voice deepens, he grows taller and muscular and confesses that “Boo Boo” was what his mom started calling him when he came in the house crying at age three saying “boo boo on my knee. boo boo on my knee” and his real name is James or Tim. And do you think the OTHER un-named boring sites will say, “Call Chris Hansen. James/Tim Stewart has entered our radar. Hold me back.” I don’t think so.

4. Someone needs to keep Kellan accountable in his faith. It’s tough being the hot piece of man meat that he is. He wants to stray. He wants to take those Calvin’s OFF but he doesn’t. Cuz he knows we’re watching. That’s why he climbed in a tree and read his Men of Faith Bible that he got at a Promise Keeper’s conference in 2005 with his dad and Uncle Jerry. If we weren’t around that would be him, naked in a tree reading a Hustler mag. We need to do this for Kellan.

So, faithful readers, I got us started but help me finish the list. Why should we keep on blogging about vampires. I will take the best reasons, add them to what I started and put the list into PDF form, laminate two copies, mail one to Moon, make her memorize it and say it EVERY day as our mantra.

Your faithful vampire blogger,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Are you ready for this?! It’s LTT PODCAST time!!

LTT/LTR Podcast... it's this intense

Dear LTT-ers,

Ever wanted to hear my sexy smokers voice? Or how about the high pitched voices of guys talking about Twilight? Well you guys asked for it and as they say “ask and ye shall receieve.” We heard tons of feedback from you guys about our recent letters from folks like The Font and White Yorkie and thought it was time to take this dog and pony show to the airwaves. That’s right we recorded the first episode to our very own PodCast! We covered your questions, what’s new in the Twidom and had a lot of laughs in between. And besides we just like to hear ourselves talk (cue hater comments).

The PodCast will be available on iTunes soon (once we get approved!) so you will be able to sync you ipod and get the latest podcasts as we upload them. But for today we’re linking to the file so that you can download and listen! Unless you work with sailors, I’d probably recommend using earphones. Get ready to laugh, cry, grab you pitckforks and beg for me…

The Untitled PodCast by LTT/LTR (catchy, huh?!)

They said WHAAATT??

Episode One, Part One! (download it here, right click on the link and save as)
Hosted by Moon (UC was being a nerdstar and getting our servers migrated, she will join us next time!)
The Font and White Yorkie

Stuff covered:
Let’s get to know The Font & White Yorkie
News – What’s up with the lack of Eclipse Exclusives, Ashley Greene, Gender bender recasts, Rob in Details
Reader Questions/Our Questions – Team Jacob/Team Edward, Mythology/Folklore in Twilight (or lack thereof), Drinking like a man, Leghitch 2010, Erogenous zones, how Twilight should have gone, My murderous tendencies, Rob’s Style, Professional Drinking…
Lots of tangents!

DOWNLOAD IT NOW!!!!!! We will be posting part two next week and fingers crossed it will be up on iTunes for you to subscribe to! Have a question for the next episode of our Untitled podcast? Think we’re awesome, think we’re stupid, have a topic you want covered? EMAIL US!

Let’s chat it up!
Themoonisdown

And now a special note from my sister in law. Her salon is hosting a Cut-a-thon for Haiti this Sunday, February 21st in the LA area. Are you in the LA area and need a supa dupa fly hair style for half the normal price? Then get on down to Allen Edwards and bring some money for a good cause! We’re talking amazing professional stylists who work on celebs (and me!) cutting your hair for a good cause! Have more questions or want to get a fab cut in honor of Haiti? Check out this flyer (click to enlarge) and call up the salon!

(donations starting at $35)

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

The Important questions about New Moon

Edward's favorite tampon brand

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Hey Arizona! It’s been awhile. I know, I know. But I’ll be honest the hype of New Moon has died down majorly. David Slade & Summit have refused to release any Eclipse info until after Remember Me is released (or so we can assume) Although David Slade quite possibly redeemed himself with what looks to maybe be a leg hitch picture, but still. We’re bored. But not without ideas- no, no. Those are ever-flowing. It’s just hard to write fan fic about Buttcrack Santa and Harry Clearwater coming back from the dead as zombies, adding one more mythical creature to the mix in Forks. But I’m working on it!

Anyway, longtime LTT reader, Jet, emailed us a few weeks back asking some really important questions about New Moon and the Twilight saga that haven’t been asked before. Ya know, like along the same lines about what happens when Bella gets her period, but better. I consider myself quite the Twilight saga expert, but even I didn’t know how to write her back. I thought I’d ask you today, as well as ask you about other questions that were sent to us via the tweets:

Did Oregano watch New Moon? And if he did, then how many times did he puke like Mike or throw tomatoes at the screen?

Do you know, Steph? Are you still close with Cathy Hardi? Can you ask her? I have a feeling she’s been stalking poor Oregano ever since she heard about he & Kristen’s split. Poor guy. (Hey- *brilliant thought* was SHE the reason for the KStew/Oregano split? Where has he been? IS he throwing back Ultimate Margs at 5pm on Monday, Tuesday AND Thursdays at the TGIFridays with the Cougar?)

What happens to female vampires who weren’t able to “do it” before they were turned? Will they be like that Jessica character from True Blood? Will “it” keep on growing back?

I had no idea what Jet was talking about here, so I consulted my True Blood expert and my expert on “it,” Moon, and asked:

UC: Does she mean the hyman?
Moon: Hymen
UC: Sorry. I never had it long enough to learn how to spell it
Moon: Slut
UC: Hey! I fell on a fence post when I was 7!
Moon: Ouch. Yes in True Blood Jessica is a virgin when she’s turned so it’s like her first time EVERY TIME she has sexy
UC: Realllllyy? Do you think that means Edward explodes in 3 seconds every time he does it?

Jet continued:

We never hear much about Jasper and Alice’s “experiences” in the books. Is it because of this very thing? Was Alice never deflowered before she was turned? I’m only assuming of course. ‘Cause, come to think of it, who would do it with her when she was trapped in the asylum…..

I know: Chase Crawford, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Jared Followhill etec. etc.

Is Harry Clearwater the new Buttcrack Santa? Will his Kung Fu still be strong even after death? Who will make fish fry for Charlie now?

Seriously. Charlie can’t be without his fish fry. You heard Bella. There’s only enough fish for the next 3 years in the freezer. He needs ALL of that fried. He NEEDS to die an early death from clogged arteries. Otherwise he’s gonna get REALLY suspicious when his 55 year daughter still looks like an 18 year old and he won’t understand why his 7 year old granddaughter is making out with her “older brother figure” on La Push Beach. GET CHARLIE FISH FRY!

Then I asked myself: Is is possible there are Twilight fans out there that don’t immediately think of sexual things when the “What questions do you have about New Moon’ is asked?

No. No it’s not..

After the jump, see what I mean and enjoy as I take a crack at answering some of the questions Continue reading

Quick thoughts on Twilight things

Dear LTT readers,

All I really want to do on this Monday is discuss the amazing Valentine’s Day gift we were given yesterday in the form of Eclipse stills and try to figure out whether THIS is the LEG HITCH or not:

But, alas, the images were all leaked and not supposed to be seen by the public yet even though everyone saw them (if you didn’t clearly you’re not on twitter or you have a life on the weekends) or will see them today when major media picks them up and posts them thinking they are ready to be seen and discussed and loved and oohed and aahed over. So for now, we can just stare at the image I pixelated off the images I have on my hard-drive for my own personal enjoyment (just like all of you who saw the images yesterday have!) and imagine the day when we’ll discuss in full detail the ‘is this or is this not the leg hitch’ question.

In the meantime, I have a few things on my mind. And I thought I’d just write them in mini letters:

Dear Dakota’s eyebrows,

You creep me the eff out like that German ice skater last night at the Olympics. On the other hand…

Dear Hot version of Dakota,

Where did little version of Dakota go? This creeps me out in… kinda a good way. Like I’m not sure what to think. I might wanna be a fake lesbian with you… I dunno.. jury is still out. You’re still that little girl with the mentally retarded dad to me sometimes. And then… sometimes you’re hot…. I’m gonna think on this.. And probably end up requesting a life partnership, but don’t quote me on it…Those eyebrows still creep me out

Dear Kristen,

Did California have an earthquake I missed? That’s the only explanation I can come up with for that hair you wore to a Haiti  fundraiser….

Dear Kellan,

Let me guess, that’s your “Wild at Heart” study Bible and you are reading your favorite passage from Song of Solomon 7:7-8

Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree;

I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,

What tunes do you have playing? The new Switchfoot?

Dear Taylor,

You’re skinnier than Heidi Montag after 18 tummy tucks. Time to grill up some meat. Form them into patties. And stick them into little baggies. And then eat them.

Dear Kristen,

Did Carey fart? Did Abbie say she was going to steal your boyfriend? Your hair looks the best it has in TEN months. You’re wearing a dress any girl would KILL for. S-M-I-L-E

Dear Kellan Lutz & Chase Crawford,

It’s obvious this is what went down at the Calvin Klein fashion show in NY: You saw you were supposed to sit next to each other. Calvin wants Chase next for the face err other body part of his underwear line. He hoped Kellan could encourage him and show him the ropes. But you guys gave each other “the look.” It was “the look” that said: “Yeah, Ashley did that thing to me too and I still can’t get it out of my mind, although the fact that I know she did it to you and at least 12 other guys in this room kinda freaks me out enough but not enough to not want to try to get her to do that thing again so let’s not talk or sit next to each other because we’re in competition, man.”

That’s what’s on my mind!
Love,
UnintendedChoice

What’s on your mind!?

Images found on TwiCrackAddict & EclipseMovie

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter