Dear LTT-ers, Twihards and makers of Twilight Merchandise,
Of ALL the things on the internet that are Twilight related and have come out over the past couple years the one I’ve been sent to most BY FAR has to be the Manllow!! Yes, EVERYONE and their iguana sent me (and UC) the link to that pillow shaped like a man with Edward or Jacob’s face printed on it on it.
And I must apologize for not returning all those emails because, honestly… I already have my own Manllow* and I’ve just been TOO busy this week with him/it to be bothered to write any of you back. Sorry Mom, sorry bill collectors, sorry BFF’s from high school looking to reconnect, sorry 8374349 Facebook notifications, sorry Grandma and sorry organ donor society emailing to tell me my new heart is available, I can’t write you back. I have a Manllow and I’m not afraid to sleep with it!
So why have I been too busy to answer my emails because of a Manllow, you say? What have I been doing with the Manllow?
- Watching movies and the entire 2nd season of Six Feet Under with my Manllow is a no-brainer. He holds the remote AND me while I cry over David and Keith’s lost love and the craziness that is Brenda (seriously can she die yet?)
- He’s also a great day bed and hang out spot for my 10 cats! They love purring in his arms when I’m away for the day. Manllow is NEVER lonely for company
- When I want a night in I cook a special dinner of Lean Cuisines for the both of us and pop the top on some Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaii, light a few candles and have a special romantic night for two
Oh and FYI the Manllow isn’t just for your bedroom, you can take the Manllow into public with you… here’s what I’ve done with my Manllow outside of the bedroom this week
- I live in LA so traffic is horrendous! Our lovely Dept of Transportation provides HOV lanes for vehicles with more than one person riding in them and they go way faster than regular lanes. SO to save time on my way to see New Moon for the 8 gajillionth time I stuck my Manllow in the passenger seat and zoomed off down the freeway in search of popcorn and Face Punches!
- My Manllow and I snuggled at the movie theater with the armrest UP! Making out WITH Edward/Jacob WHILE watching New Moon in the theater? You should try it sometime, I HIGHLY suggest it
- Went for a picnic with my Manllow. Griffith Park will never be the same now that I’ve reenacted the Meadow Scene with the Edward Manllow. He sparkled and we talked about forever. It was magical. Sorry UC.
- I take my Manllow shopping with me. I stick him in the front basket of the grocery buggy and he points out everything he wants. Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Check! Cuties? Check! Cookies & Cream Dreyers Yogurt? Check! Cat Food? Check! Ladies Dove Deodorant? Check! I mean…
- For dinner I took my Edward/Jacob Manllow to Fridays so I could get the 2 for Tuesdays. Two appetizers, two dinner entress and two desserts all for 22.22! What a steal that I couldn’t have gotten without my Manllow. We even saw Cathy Hardwicke in the bar and she sent over a mucho Cougarita “for Rob, call me.” How nice was that?!
So can you blame me, people? The Manllow and I are in love and just like Lars and Bianca in Lars & the Real Girl- we’re taking our love public and we’re here to stay regardless of public perception that I am a crazy lunatic. My Manllow loves me just the way I am.
My Manllow kinda makes me think of the Kid Sister/My Buddy that I had as a kid… only WAY more adult. Ifyouknowwhatimsaying. So all week I’ve been signing the theme song… sing it with me friends:
My Manllow, my Manllow… my Manllow aaaannddd mmeeee!
Who has a Manllow on back order? Do you think I’m legit and actually really have a Manllow? What would YOU do with your Manllow?
I’d tell you to get your OWN Manllow but they’re SOLD OUT!
*HALE NO I do NOT own an Edward/Jacob Manllow and I’m allergic to cats!*
Filed under: 2nd-hand Embarassment, Merchandise, Twilight | Tagged: 2nd hand embarrassment, 6 feet under, Boone's Farm, Cat lady, Edward, Edward Pillow, email, fan made, fan merchandise, funny, Griffith Park, Jacob, Manllow, meadow, Merchandise, New Moon, story |