Quick thoughts on Twilight things

Dear LTT readers,

All I really want to do on this Monday is discuss the amazing Valentine’s Day gift we were given yesterday in the form of Eclipse stills and try to figure out whether THIS is the LEG HITCH or not:

But, alas, the images were all leaked and not supposed to be seen by the public yet even though everyone saw them (if you didn’t clearly you’re not on twitter or you have a life on the weekends) or will see them today when major media picks them up and posts them thinking they are ready to be seen and discussed and loved and oohed and aahed over. So for now, we can just stare at the image I pixelated off the images I have on my hard-drive for my own personal enjoyment (just like all of you who saw the images yesterday have!) and imagine the day when we’ll discuss in full detail the ‘is this or is this not the leg hitch’ question.

In the meantime, I have a few things on my mind. And I thought I’d just write them in mini letters:

Dear Dakota’s eyebrows,

You creep me the eff out like that German ice skater last night at the Olympics. On the other hand…

Dear Hot version of Dakota,

Where did little version of Dakota go? This creeps me out in… kinda a good way. Like I’m not sure what to think. I might wanna be a fake lesbian with you… I dunno.. jury is still out. You’re still that little girl with the mentally retarded dad to me sometimes. And then… sometimes you’re hot…. I’m gonna think on this.. And probably end up requesting a life partnership, but don’t quote me on it…Those eyebrows still creep me out

Dear Kristen,

Did California have an earthquake I missed? That’s the only explanation I can come up with for that hair you wore to a Haiti  fundraiser….

Dear Kellan,

Let me guess, that’s your “Wild at Heart” study Bible and you are reading your favorite passage from Song of Solomon 7:7-8

Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree;

I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,

What tunes do you have playing? The new Switchfoot?

Dear Taylor,

You’re skinnier than Heidi Montag after 18 tummy tucks. Time to grill up some meat. Form them into patties. And stick them into little baggies. And then eat them.

Dear Kristen,

Did Carey fart? Did Abbie say she was going to steal your boyfriend? Your hair looks the best it has in TEN months. You’re wearing a dress any girl would KILL for. S-M-I-L-E

Dear Kellan Lutz & Chase Crawford,

It’s obvious this is what went down at the Calvin Klein fashion show in NY: You saw you were supposed to sit next to each other. Calvin wants Chase next for the face err other body part of his underwear line. He hoped Kellan could encourage him and show him the ropes. But you guys gave each other “the look.” It was “the look” that said: “Yeah, Ashley did that thing to me too and I still can’t get it out of my mind, although the fact that I know she did it to you and at least 12 other guys in this room kinda freaks me out enough but not enough to not want to try to get her to do that thing again so let’s not talk or sit next to each other because we’re in competition, man.”

That’s what’s on my mind!

What’s on your mind!?

Images found on TwiCrackAddict & EclipseMovie

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

147 Responses

  1. UC you crack me up! Every time you talk about Kellan you out yourself…what as….?

    Say it. Out loud.

    Evangelical. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.(Me too).
    P.S. I have finally found my true twi-dentity.

    • you can’t hide that shizz. i mean duh- look at the way the book is all creased. I think I spy a bit of yellow highlighter from a late night Bible Study with his mentor when he took the ‘wild at heart’ man challenge and went to the woods for a weekend to get close to God..

  2. He’s one bible verse from being ordained at this point.

    As for the pix that cannot be shown (yet) – I think they went off-script and moved on past the leg hitch and straight into the grind.

  3. I think she looks like she’s doing a slow-mo knee in the nuts. Romantic.

  4. I studied EVERY leaked Eclipse photo yesterday, from EVERY angle. I studied long and hard (t.w.s.s.), and I’ve come to the conclusion that was a half-leg hitch. I’m reserving judgement until we see the entire scene. He might be in mid-hitch, it’s just too hard to tell.

    However, I am giving it 2 thumbs up because it looks like his hand is on the bottom of her ass, which is a bonus because we all know Edward would never actually come close to touching her butt. (Plus there was a picture where it looked like he was grazing her boob, which is also pure WIN!!!)

    In conclusion – I might be in love with David Slade.

  5. The Pics That Cannot Be Shown Yet nearly ended me yesterday! Eclipse is going to be HOT!

    So Kellan’s up a tree… that’s… weird.

  6. I think it’s hilarious that you think he is reading the Bible when he is actually reading something to do with being an asshole.

    “Assholeology”? I think that might be it. A tiny bird (Chimmy) told me this weekend but I forgot.

    Also, RYAN PHILLIPPE!!! I love him. I used to watch Cruel Intentions almost every single night as I was falling asleep. How I loved that creepy little Sebastian.

    *whispers* Dear Kristen,

    Can you please fix your fucking hair? You make me look like an idiot for defending you. *yells* FIX YOUR FUCKING HAIR! *whispers again* Seriously. I know it must be annoying to have to brush your hair but it must be done. It can’t be just sticking up all willy nilly when you go to raise funds for Haiti. It makes you appear as if you don’t care. *yells again* CARE, DAMMIT! *whispers* Just a little bit. Please?


    • i was like.. “what is fangbanger talking about. i did not mention Ryan phillippe ONCE” but then i realized he’s in that last picture. poor ryan. i had nothing to say about him- even though he probably gave kellan and chace major man-whoring tips

    • Wowza.

      3 downthumbs?

      Did you guys really hate Cruel Intentions THAT much?

      I love it. No apologies. 😉

      • No, fangbanger, it’s not Cruel Intentions. It’s the fact that you ARE NOT ALLOWED to say anything negatory about the Stew. Did you not get the memo?

  7. S-M-I-L-E! yes!

    • I’m so bored of her looking bored. Stew, I heart you, you’re pretty, it’s OK to smile.

      • someone hates smiling. thus the thumbsdown

        • I love feeling the wrath of Stewie lovers when I say something negative about her – I actually do love her, I’m a big fan, but it’s OK to give constructive criticism sometimes! She can take it, she’s badass!

          • Apparently she can’t take it. Thus, the “thumbs down”. For the love of God, can we say anything about her without getting “thumbs downed”? I rag on Rob all the time. It’s out of love!!!!

          • You are obviously smelly, ugly, and jealous. KStew is perfection and you can’t stand it.

            THUMBS DOWN!

          • For some reason the KStew defenders patrol this site militantly. I question Rob’s sexual prowess and I don’t get a single thumbs down, but if you suggest the possibility that KStew is not practically perfect in every way? Thumbs down for you!!

          • I guess Rob’s fans have a better sense of humor than KStew’s worshippers.

          • @ Jodie O – I know I’m not smelly, I just showered. My husband doesn’t think I’m ugly.

            Am I jealous? Hell yes I’m jealous. She may or may not be shagging Rob. Even if she’s not, according to the leaked Eclipse photos, she’s getting groped by him. Of course I’m jealous! 🙂

          • @TOFT – Are you sure you aren’t smelly? I must be smelly. Look at all my thumbs downs! I wonder if KStew’s Thumbs Down Army has it’s own twitter.

          • Wait, I get thumbs down even though I didn’t even say that KStew ISN’T practically perfect in every way?? She is! She totally is! I want to be her when I grow up… wait, no, that’s not right… Anyway, now it seems we’re getting thumbs down not for questioning KStew, but for commenting on the devotion of KStew ‘shippers. Well played, ‘shippers. well played.

          • @TM – Ever notice the thumbs-downing increases after school lets out?

          • i like how this looks like i’m laughing at nothing. i was laughing at something you said JodieO. i forget what. but it was great

          • I think you should just comment ‘hahahahaha’ on random blogs regardless of content.

          • @JodieO – I “thumbs downed” you just to keep up the precedent.

            KStew ROCKS!!!!!!

          • @TOFT – You aren’t supposed to tell me when you thumbs down me. You’re supposed to crank up your Miley Cyrus CD and use bad grammar to gather all your Myspace peeps for a fresh wave of thumbs-downing.

            “There still making fun of r hair. Go thum down evr1.”

          • @JodieO Now that you mention it, yes! You know, that probably also explains why they don’t down thumb me for questioning Rob’s, er, abilities, as they have no idea what that entails.

          • TM – They think you are talking about his piano playing skills.

          • @JodieO – Damn it!!! I can’t keep up with this generation. I’m still blaring my Pearl Jam and staring at my NKOTB posters. What is this My Space you speak of?

          • Thumbs up for NKOTB!

          • @toooldfor this – you got “the right stuff” – yeah, I just made a lame NKOTB reference.

          • HA! I forgot I wrote this and came back to have a look today. You ladies kill me, so funny.

            I still love Stewie… not that it matters!

  8. Who else thought “bothered” when they saw Kellan up that tree? And why is he up a tree anyway? With a book, no less. Is he looking to replace Jimmy Fallon? Or is he desperate for an invite to that show? Did his manager tell him “kellan, now you go sit up in a tree and read bible verses this weekend, so people will not forget that you are a deep and intellectual person as well as a fine piece of meat in Calvins.”

    • Yes! I thought “Kellan is bothered” too! That photo is so, so posed. Look how far he is into the book? He’s still looking at the table of contents! Tree-reading can only be done with a book you’ve read a million times before, because you have to remain semi-vigilant for wayward squirrels and such.

  9. Dear KStew,
    You are young and beautiful and talented and intelligent. You have the whole world at your feet. Why do you always look like a crack whore in designer clothes? Do you need a hug? Call me if you need me.


    • Yes, JodieO! That’s what I thought when I saw that picture. The “I’m-to-cool-for-this” routine is growing weary.
      Kristen, you’re 19 and you lead a pretty charmed life. (And you might possibly be bangin’ the hottest guy around right now.) Smile.

      • If I were banging Rob I’d have the biggest smile on the planet 24/7!! Jus’ sayin’!

        • Well, unless he’s not any good. He does hate vaginas and all…

          And, before anyone thumbs down me for this, I volunteer to teach him how to do… things. You know, take one for the team?

          • He’s allergic, right? I think the teacher better step aside and let a health care professional take care of this. Don’t worry…I’m willing to take one for the team too. 🙂

          • I know he’s allergic and all, but if you’re safe it shouldn’t be too much of a problem 😉 Don’t worry, I’ll test my theory and let you all know…

          • @Ang Haha! All right, all right! If it is an allergy, then I concede. But, I could at least give him an argument as to why fearing the vag is actually a sign of inauthentic existence… let’s hope he <3s nerds.

          • @Tuesday and shleeeigh…OK – I think this is a job that might take all of us. See, I can share and play well with others.

          • Hey Rob,
            Don’t bite the vag hand that feeds you!

  10. So much win in this.

    Chris Hansen isn’t out of a job just yet.
    Dakota – he’s got your back.

    Maybe Kellan was trying to get in on Jimmy’s ‘Robert is Bothered’ thing?

    Kristen’s hair.. I can’t even talk about. I’ll admit I had a serious girl crush after I saw NM. It’s fading. Fast.

    And last thing: that is one good looking front row at the CK show!

    • For the love of Pete, can we not say anything negative about KStew without getting the dreaded thumbs down? Look, it’s just constructive criticism. I would become a fake lesbian for her. She’s hot. Just lighten up a bit. That’s all we’re sayin’.

      • Thank you, tooold!
        I was a little confused, because I really don’t think there’s anything negative in my post. She’s hot, but I think her hair looks terrible. I’m willing to bet that I could find a fair number of people who would agree with me.

        If you’re gonna thumbs down, at least take a sec to explain it.
        It’s all subjective. So if you don’t agree, cool. But don’t take it all so seriously!

  11. Kellan is actually a shy and sensitive guy.

  12. The Kristen pic looks like she is strange her eyes don’t match up. I ike the first one, Kinda wild. Dakota Fanning strange indeed. Stranger days are these. Sorta like 12 monkeys on crack. http://defutebol.net

  13. I don’t really find Kellan Lutz all that attractive, and personally think it’s a tad attention seeking to casually lounge across a tree reading when he knows there’s gonna be crap loads of paparazzi taking his picture..

    Plus I have all of the leaked Eclipse pictures saved and they are hotttt! Finally Edward looks happy :’).

  14. dear 1st pic of Dakota, that’s you huh? *sigh* i thought it was Madonna, circa 1985..

  15. Now that the rumors have been pretty much confirmed about Breaking Dawn, perhaps Kellan’s getting back into character and climbing trees, I mean Emmett is Rose’s “monkey man” and all. And thanks for that Calving Klein pic, I’ve just screengrabbed and cropped out Kellan and that other dude to his left. Nate Archibald and Sebastian Valmont…in the same room at the same time…it’s heaven.

  16. I also spent a little too much time yesterday checking out the pics from every angle. I think the ones we saw are mid-hitch. And even if the “hitch” comes out differently than I saw it in my head, I’m very happy with these shots. I just might take back all the negative things I ever said/thought about Slade! Maybe.

    • OK WHAT PICS??? I am feeling soooooo left out…the ONE day I am not here and I miss THE pics…excuse me …looking for Eddie tissues…..

      • Oh no! Did you at least see my email on Friday? I sent you the link for the Details pics before they got pulled off the internet.

      • Actually, I’m talking about the Eclipse pics. I’ll share with you tonight. Don’t have them at work!

      • I know! I didn’t go on any sites yesterday. I came on this morning and saw them for a few minutes before I had to go. I came back on after lunch and they are all gone! GONE!! I didn’t get to um…analyze them as thoroughly as I feel was necessary.

        This is what I get for being a spoiler hoor. I was supposed to be regenerating my twi hymen for Eclipse. Now I feel like a hussy. Like I lost it in the back seat of a car, with only three minutes to show for it.

  17. 1. I don’t think that’s a real leg hitch. I think we’re gonna get cheated. Just have a hunch.

    2. Dakota, very hot pics. Could’ve done w/o the eyebrows. Ick.

    3. Kristen, the dirty hair thing only works for Rob (and not well for him either, imo).

    4. Kellan, tree reading is hot, I don’t care. You have my attention. You should do it in your Calvins next time.

    5. Taylor, U. N. F. Those eyes do things to me…

    6. Kristen, WASH YOUR EFFING HAIR.

    That is all. *bows* Thank you.

  18. Something about Kellan in that tree is adorable. Attention-seeking too, of course, but that’s Kellan for you.

    I’m losing my patience with Kristen. Aren’t her managers or agents or PARENTS or whatever seeing how stupid she looks when she shows up at a FUNDRAISER looking like that? You can take the time to do your make-up just right, but can’t run a comb through your hair? Come on, now.

  19. Dakota in those pictures reminds me of what Dooce would look like 15 yrs ago.
    Eyebrows – true dat – effing creepy on Dakota and on the skaters.
    Also, does it seem like now that Taylor is actually 18, he looks like a little boy in all the pics of him? Hmmm maybe it’s that one shred of decency I have left in me helping me not be hot for a boy that’s almost 1/2 my age.
    And I think Stew’s hair looks like crappola in the shoot. Grease monkey, that funky monkey.

  20. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but how can you accidentally “leak” high-resolution pictures from Eclipse on Valentine’s day?

    I say it was Rob, who “leaked” them to take people’s attention away from the infamous quote of his that also leaked over the weekend + because he didn’t want his archenemy Saint Kellan to get attention for copying his “Rob is Bothered” routine.

  21. I had a bit of a life yesterday and didn’t save the pics, er, see the pics until this morning. I am telling myself that they are mid-hitch. And that is enough for now. That combined with the one where he’s getting handsy.

  22. Dakota liked Rob’s eyebrows (over at LTR we like to call them Burt and Ernie) so much she decided to give the look a whirl, not realizing you have to have Rob’s jaw to balance out the “look”.

  23. OMJ. I am such a bad, bad, bad fan-girl. I was away from my computer over the weekend. Gone for 2 days and what did I miss? Hot “Eclipse” pics plus ‘Master of the Universe” updated and I KNEW NOTHING UNTIL THIS MORNING. I am hanging my head in shame and regret.

    Risking my job, I read the MoTU update (why do I want a boat ride so much right now?) and have found at least a few of the pics. And with that, all work productivity is grinding (T.W.S.S.) to a halt.

    I think that is a partial leg hitch. And a booby-grab, all high-school –like. And what with the open-mouth kiss by Edward? I know we have seen it before and I’m really not complaining, but I am a stickler for vampire accuracy.

    Now, I am all worked up while at work. I’d call by hubby for a nooner but I was a wee bit of a bitch to him last night during our Valentines Day lovn’. He did not being his “A-Game” and I called him on it. Not good to do. Sooo, looks like I am stuck in Bella-Blue-Box-purgatory, at least for a couple more hours.

  24. totally amazing


    I don’t understand that girl. but I love her to pieces.

    I also love Tree Kellan. Sounds like a species of something I’d study. The elegant and strong “Tree Kellan”.

    “Ashley and Kellan sittin’ in a tree. KISSING.” *sigh* I wish I’d have been there. Living in LA is frustrating.

    xo Ash

  26. I can’t stop looking at Kellan in a tree. It’s fascinating. I wish I knew exactly what he was thinking in that moment. Weird ass dude.

  27. Is Kellen wearing a sobriety chip?

  28. Dear whoever goes through and thumbs down every mention of KStew’s messy hair,

    I’m impressed at your dedication to Team Stewhair. Horrified, as well, but definitely impressed. Following your lead, I am now going to thumbs up anyone who uses the word “irrevocably,” regardless of context. Why? Because I can’t think of anything more pointless to do with my time, and “irrevocably” is my favorite Twi-word.

    tuesday “Team Irrevocably” midnight

  29. I think that’s the leg hitch, I truly do. I think David Slade was giving our significant others a VDay gift yesterday. Those stills got my fiance his own leg hitch. Yeah I said it.

    Why is Kellan in a tree? He had to know there would be some spidermonkey comments about that.

    Why is legal Taylor a skinny Taylor? Did he not get enough Olive Garden. Big daddy must have only let him get the salad.

    Stewhair…yes you are your own enigma. I want to run my hand through you and calm you the eff down. I want to follow you around with a baggy of Goody’s bobby pins and rubber bands.

  30. Oh leg hitch or not, it made me skip a breath or 7….

  31. No, there wasn’t a earthquake in California. But, there was one in Haiti. The only reason she was there. And your making fun of her hair? Really? Because, for some reason Rob’s fans can’t see she went somewhere to support a good cause, they have to find something. OMG her hair! It’s sticking up! If the people of Haiti saw her hair was sticking up like that they probably wouldn’t have even accepted the money she contributed!
    How about, Dear Kristen, We know you hate the Hollywood scene. And you went to a benefit to support a good cause. Good for you. It wouldn’t matter if you showed up bald.

    • Ha!

      You’re hilarious. I love it.

      Right. People of Haiti. Very serious.

      I think that people might take her a tiny bit more seriously if she showed up looking decent. I know! It’s a wild idea. Maybe she should try it?

      Honestly, I don’t care how she looks when she goes to movie premieres or interviews or the thrift store or Christi’s Toybox or whatever.

      I do think that maybe showing respect to the people would be terrific. If I went to a chili cookoff to raise money for the local animal shelter and my hair was sticking up, my momma would slap me and then hand me a comb.

      And that’s how Sue C’s it.

      • Yes! Yes! Yes! My mom would have given me the old “You’re going like THAT?!?

        To support your comment, if I may. KStew took the time to get her makeup done. (Which looks great, incidentally). It’s wonderful that she’s using her celebrity to raise money for a good cause, but it’s also a celebrity fundraiser event. She’s getting publicity photos taken there, not pulling people from the rubble.

        • The makeup does look great! She’s a total hawtie.

          The ONLY issue I have is her hair sticking up. Seriously, Robsten, I don’t care if you date or not but only Rob should have that sort of sex hair. It’s hard for a girl to pull that off.

          I’m sure that I’m sexist now. Ah, hell. 😉

      • Honestly, I don’t even think she looked bad. It looks like she was curling it and in the back some of the hair wouldn’t lay down. Lets just agree to disagree. I don’t think in the grand scheme of things hair matters when your showing up to do something nice for charity. That’s just me though. Has her hair seen better days? Yes.But isn’t the fact that she showed up to support Haiti more important than the hair? I would think most people would think so.. The fact her hair wasn’t perfect when she showed up now cancels out any good she meant by going and not only that, it is disrespectful to the people? Sorry, that just doesn’t make sense to me. And I’m even more of a Rob fan than a Kristen fan and I just cannot see it.

        • Hmmm….

          I don’t recall saying that her charitable appearance was canceled out by her hair.

          Hi! Do you know me? No? Didn’t think so.

          Did you know that I have spent more than a few minutes crying over pictures of the babies that died in Haiti? No? Did you know that I have donated more money than I can afford to a county that I will probably never visit? No? You think I’m a total bitch? Whatever, I probably am.

          ALL I WAS FUCKING SAYING WAS THAT SHE NEEDED TO FIX HER HAIR! Appearances shouldn’t matter but they do. I didn’t come up with this radical idea.

          Ugh. Don’t say “Let’s agree to disagree” and then pretend I’m a bitch who doesn’t care about and appreciate Kristen’s charitableness. Seriously.

          PS. Is there some sort of bat signal that goes off when someone disses the Stew? The haters always come outta the woodwork.

          • Um no, actually I never said I know you, or you weren’t upset by what happened in Haiti. You did say it was disrespectful of her to show that way and I happened to disagree with you.

          • Alrighty then.

            I’m busy. No sense in arguing with a brick wall.


    • *whispers* I’m not supposed to be here. I have an exam today. Boooooo but I had to comment on the “Rob’s fans” aspect. I ❤ Rob but Its not an omg-when-he-sees-me-he's-gonna-take-me-behind-the-nearest-dumpster-to-show-me-that-he's-not-really-allergic-to-vaginas kind of <3. More like buy-me-a-beer-and-lets-jam-u-adorkable-man-you kind of <3.

      And my point, why bash Rob lovers in your appreciation of Stew? And dont generalise the Kristen bashing to one segment of fans. Almost everyone here has a healthy respect for her. UC's not ridiculing her charitabe efforts. She's talking about hair. And if you tell me you have NEVER commented on any celeb's appearance before Imma take a sledge-hammer to your glass house.
      I have to agree with mah Twinsie. If you're doing something do it right. It doesnt hurt to fix your hair just like it doesnt hurt to read what's being said in the first place. Dont jump into conclusions, sometimes the bottom is filled with spikes and a very angry Rambo panda.
      Downthumb all you like…
      And Toosday I am irrevocably scared that I will fail. Do I get a upthumb now? lol

    • Yes, we are commenting on her hair. That is what we do. We are girls.

    • We made fun of Rob’s word vomit when he did the charity auction for AMFAR as well. Doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate him being there even if he hated every second of it. Doesn’t mean we think AMFAR is an unworthy cause. Just means we think he said something stupid. It’s wonderful that KStew took time to go to a charity event for Haiti. That’s wonderful! Doesn’t mean I can’t make fun of her constant state of bed-head.

  32. Ok, off topic, but someone, anyone, please tell me how you can add a pic and become a regular commenter (is that even a word haha)? Thanks!

  33. if i ever run the kind of site where i say “Dear Kristen, it’s great that you went to a charity event. Love UC” or “Taylor I’m glad you’re nice to your little sister” or “Rob- how nice of you to smile at that fan instead of ignore her” kill me. that’s so boring and not why I do this.
    I do this to say things like ‘your hair looks like crap” and ‘taylor you’re a little bit gay looking today” and “kellan stop pretending that no one sees you in a tree- you know we know you’re there” i have no interest in blogging anything but what is on my mind.

    ‘and that’s how UC sees it’ 🙂

  34. Eclipse Stills – three words; NOM NOM NOM

  35. testing avatar!

  36. testing avatar

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