White Yorkie has some questions for you and remembers Comic Con 2008

*Hey guys, remember The Font? Remember the splash he caused a week ago? Well we’re back with The Font’s (and my) friend, who is also intrigued by you folks! He decided to write you a letter and explain his side of things.*

Just imagine the white version

Greetings, Letters to Twilight readers, commenters, and stalkers.

I am a good friend of your favorite new contributor, The Font.  I, too, am a straight dude.  You may call me White Yorkie.

Over the past few years, I have had numerous in depth discussions/confusion sessions with people (The Font and Moon included) concerning the Twilight phenomenon.  Lately though, the inability for my friends to not mention Twilight when we’re together is pushing me to the brink of insanity.  Usually resulting in making me irritable, angry, and unpleasant.

Where are you White Yorkie? Is that you w/ the camcorder?

My bewilderment began at Comic-Con 08 in the now infamous Hall H pandemonium inducing panel discussion.  At the time, Twilight wasn’t on my radar whatsoever.  I’d never even heard of it.  So you can imagine my surprise when the cast arrived onstage and 3,000 screaming girls (and their mothers) nearly deafened me.  WTF can’t even begin to describe the look on my face and the utter horror welling up in my heart.   I was there for panels on comics, comic-based movies, and to look at/buy copious amounts of actions figures.  So who were these teeny-emo-vamps and why had they taken over my joyous Comic-Con experience?  Surely this unheard of movie (to me) didn’t warrant a coveted spot in Hall H!  And then the panel started…

Yup, that's my hair up there

First, the Q&A.

First observation: Kristen Stewart (codename: SleepyFace), apparently touches her hair just as much off-screen as she does on.  And it’s not like I didn’t like her, she just seemed bored out of her skull (read: scared out of her MIND).  I just wanted the madness to be over so I could see my exclusive Watchmen footage and then get back to discussing the minutiae of how my friends and I would revise the Star Wars saga to our liking.

Wait, you don't see the allure here?

And then they started asking You-Know-Who some questions.  Each and every time their beloved R. Pattzy opened his mouth to answer, he was greeted by minutes of shrieking.  He couldn’t even speak.  And when he did, you couldn’t hear a dang thing.  I kept having flashbacks of old footage from Beatles and Michael Jackson concerts with hordes of psychotic fans being carried away due to fainting/convulsions.  What in the name of Alan Moore was happening?  This poor, seemingly soft-spoken actor, was in serious danger of having his clothes ripped off or just complete dismemberment as a result of some crazed stage-rushing fiasco.  In my entire life, I had never encountered something like this.  And I was terrified.  What and who has tapped into these girls’/mothers’ hearts and minds that makes them act this way?  And HOW did they do it?

Find out more plus a special announcement after the cut

Xena or an outtake from Twilight?

Okay, I thought, perhaps the movie is legit and that is why these girls are so ga-ga.  And then, they cued up the exclusive footage.  My, oh my, I just wanted to claw out my corneas right then and there.

It looked like a rejected CW show.  The acting looked amateur at best.  The effects were Xena: Warrior Princess-esque.  And yet, you would think the crowd had just seen the trailer for Citizen Cane II: The Return of Rosebud.  What was I missing?  What made this thing so great to cause women to flock to San Diego for mere minutes of footage and glimpses of actors?  And then, of course, after the panel there was a mass-exodus.  These people had come for one thing and one thing only.  Which is more than a little frustrating if you’re part of the usual Comic-Con crowd.  And they would be there the next year, clogging crowds with their glittery, homemade t-shirts, lining up for days, ready to scream their little pubescent lungs out.  Somebody kill me with a special edition Kill Bill Hanso sword please.

White Yorkie's idea of a good time

Years and one viewing/reading later, and I’m still just as dumbfounded.  Almost all the girls I know can’t help but be obsessed.  Even girls who have a love for good literature can’t help but be sucked into its pull.  However, although I remain highly skeptical and cynical about the whole thing, one positive has came to light.   It gets girls and guys talking.  The good kind of talking.  Social constructs, true love and what it looks like, dating, girls’ expectations vs guys’ expectations, literature lovers/moviegoers wants, needs, and desires, the list goes on.  And that, dear Twi-Hardies, is what I’m interested in.

So, in closing, I ask you, what desire/need (if any) has The Stephenie tapped into that fills that Pattzy shaped hole in your heart?  And does it cause you to approach your dating world differently?

-White Yorkie

In light of the raging success of The Font and with the help of White Yorkie we’re going to be featuring them on the regular. That’s right TF and WY will be joining us for a podcast where we talk about Twilight, you guys, your comments, your questions, what’s hot in the Twilight fandom and all from the dude’s perspective hosted by your fave bloggers UC and Moon! So what does that mean?! We need YOUR questions or topics for us to cover! Want to ask a question about a guy’s take on Twilight? Want to know what we think about a current topic in the Twidom? Then ask us in the comments or send us an email!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

229 Responses

  1. OH – LORD! the announcement! how thrilling! 2 gals + 2 guys = Twi-tatistic fun! ready – set – DEBATE!

    • but really though, i send my sympathy to White Yorkie b/c of the Comi-Con bit… that sucks. I mean, i know if i’d had the chance i’d’ve probably gone, but i know i would have stayed for the other things being presented, too. Sorry for the mangling of your day.

      Yes, this whole Twi-world is incrediblely, umm… surreal. I know that at times it blows my mind. I have had to reign myself in a bit, but i’m sure that the closer we get to Eclipse i’ll be whipped back into the frenzy…

      i think the Twi-mania is just so personal… for some reason… you can’t quantify it for the masses. Maybe this world we all live in today is just so hellatious that grown, mature, intelligent women (and a few men) need a break and the cool-breeze came by way of this particular, non-trashy, fantasy. Sure, sure, we may go a little, ahem, “over-board” sometimes, but by and large it gives us all a bit of escape without being too deep to become something burdensome and taxing that we have to cary arround in our minds. I read, i love, i escape and then i can keep moving on w/ life. Like a mini-vacation in a book. Does that make sense?

      i’m writing too much… over 1/2 the people here won’t read it… but Font, WY, UC, Moon, thanks for joining in this indulgence and providing us “LTT-ers” a fun place to come laugh and relate. Teens may get all coo-coo in the head over all this, but i prefer to think that our interest goes deeper… after all, LTT gal bring “the Classy” to Twi-fandom.

      Love the post. Even though i may get over-looked, thank you!

  2. Heya White Yorkie, I dont mean to be rude (since I’m a fellow Star Wars lover and you sound pretty cool) but I’m kinda sick of explaining why I love Twilight. It’s like me asking you why you like Star Wars so much (cause there are people who dont understand why heavy breathing and simple words like “I know” can leave fans gasping for breath) Imagine that question X a million cause I have to justify my love for it on a regular basis.

    So onto the next question, does Twilight help in dating? Unless you’re looking for real-life sparkle peen-d creepos who break into your house and watch you sleep or a dude who has doggy breath and really needs a back wax…I highly doubt that “omg omg omg omg omg I luuuuuuuurrrrve Twilight….and you like, totally remind me of Eddie-kins! squeeee!” at the bar is what gets you some bow chicka wow wow…lol

    Morning Everybody!
    The hamster is caffienated woooooooot!

    • Thumbs up for the use of ‘bow chicka wow wow.’ 😉

    • definitly! *waves to illegal* i hear you babe!
      *passes a cookie* i don’t want any of those Twi-happenings to be in my real life. and i, too, get a lil tired of elaberating on my “Twi-love”, like i have to defend it… *pout*

      except perha-a-a-a-apse a lil sparkle-peen once in a while, that could be, umm, stimulating. 😉 yeah, i’d go for some of that. *hums sparkle-peen theme song*
      but def no to the stalker bit and the constant danger. My life has enough risk as it is!

      • nom nom nom…*hums along while waving back*
        You’re so right Ambushed! We shouldnt be equated with the Twi-crazies…I dont have a bedazzler or a cardboard cut out…and I never will!

        *offers cookie with sprinkles in gratitude*

    • Yes! IWL, exactly!

      We’re here. We squee. Get used to it.

    • This place used to be our sanctuary!

      Grab your pitchforks girls. It’s time to invade Wookieepedia.

    • Too true! I talked to a friend the other day who reminisced when she was a teen and all her male friends used to heard together at someone’s house over the weekend to obsess about LOTR and dream about Arwen and Galadriel, while she was stifling her yawns…

      What’s there to explain, anyway? Twilight’s attraction should be obvious to someone who’s got the hots for a chick who runs around in her nightgown with Gretchen buns in her hair, no bra and a ray gun…

  3. LTT Podcast! I can already see the disapproving stares I will get on my morning commute when I stuff my scarf into my mouth to stifle the laughter.

    Hi White Yorkie! I’m so happy you and The Font are taking time to give us the straight man’s perspective on this – your right, Twilight does open a dialogue between boys and girls regarding relationships and hopelessly failing at trying to manage expectations, etc.

    I’ve spent far too much a little time trying to work out what draws me to Twilight, and I’ve decided it’s a result of my conditioning since youth. Years of Disney movies make you grow up to believe Prince Charming is out there, as soon as you realise he doesn’t exist, it’s like you’ve been lied to all your life, and you’ll do anything to try to claw back that feeling of blind, niave optimism. Hence you become obsessed with a paragon of male perfection, he’s everything you ever dreamed of, and through Bella’s story, you can imagine for a small second what it would be like to meet him.

    In short, fuck you Disney. You’ve ruined me and I hate you. But I still know all the words to ‘Kiss the Girl’ and I still love you. Obviously.

    PS: I’m planning on going to Comic Con next year – here’s hoping BD gets the go ahead and they are all there for a panel.
    PPS: I promise to act totally indifferent if the above does happen (I’ll study KStew for acting tips on this) and not squeal.

  4. Oh White Yorkie – you had me at “revise the Star Wars saga”. But to be clear, we’re talking the Prequels, right? You don’t mess with the original trilogy!

    • If I had my way, the prequels wouldn’t even exist. (I may or may not be Star Wars puritan) 🙂

      • The prequels made me long for my youth. Back in the time of the originals. When there was a good story line and no CGI characters. Ah, the good old days.

        • *whispers*

          I liked the prequels.

          That might make me stupid or… whatever but I’m a terrible movie critic. If I watch it all, I usually like it. The only test is if it holds my attention.

          Why do I keep whispering today?

          • You’re still traumatised?

          • I’m tempted to “thumbs down” you for liking the prequels, but I won’t 🙂 I thought Twilight was a better movie than New Moon, so we all have our faults, right?

        • *snorts* What, you didn’t like Jar Jar? Srsly, I felt like I was watching Big Bird in some craptastic Star Wars/Sesame Street mashup. Other than that, it was Star Wars. YAY.

          • Star Wars/Sesame Street mashup?

            Why do I think actually sounds better than what we got?

          • *sigh* – That’s suppose to say, “Why do I think THIS actually sounds better than what we got?”
            Damn, I hate not having an edit button.

          • No worries. Until you pointed it out, I read it like you meant it. And yeah, Sesame Wars could be neat, but don’t make me chooose between Darth and Count Von Count. Or Oscar the Grouch and Chewie. Though I do think Snuffalupaguss would make a kickass tauntaun.

          • Has anyone seen Robot Chicken’s take on Jar Jar? funny.funny.shiz..
            “You can google it”

        • I know tooold! Even the originals are ruined now by the addition of some CGI characters and please tell me why they changes Anakin’s ghost to Hayden Christensen at the end of Return of the Jedi??

      • AMEN! There was no need for prequels! What did it accomplish aside from bringing JarJar to life? *vomits*

        • Yes, some things are better left unexplained..But before the prequels came out I remember reading about George Lucas secret diaries where he plotted the whole nine (yes, 9) movies he had in mind and how thrilled I was that there was MORE Star Wars! Had I known Jar Jar was involved I would have…politely advised him to lock them up and lose the key. Let’s not even think about what parts 7,8 and 9 may hold…

      • Agreed. Sorry to all the Hayden lovers out there, but that kid cannot act. And don’t get me started on Jar-Jar. But I kinda, sorta liked Episode 3 cause you get to see the making of Vader, my son’s black gerbil’s namesake. Oh, and the prequels do have Ewan, one of my lesser celeb crushes.

    • I LOVE how LTT has devolved into LTSW today! White Yorkie, it’s your powerful male influence.

    • If WY or TF messes with the orgiinal trilogy Imma have to cut a bitch. Just sayin’

    • Hear, hear!! The prequels mostly did what a vacuum cleaner does! I have action figures for both sets but much prefer the ones from the original trilogy. Yep, don’t get me started either!!

  5. I wonder if guys aren’t just secretly jealous of Edward. They may laugh at his sparkliness and his stalkerish tendencies, but he still gets all the girls… so as a counter-reaction, guys just go all “I just don’t get this Twilight thing” on us. Well, lemme tell you something… I don’t get the whole football thing either. So there.

    • “I don’t get the whole football thing either. So there.”
      Dude. Don’t know why but that kinda cracked me up.

    • It is jealously. And confusion. Just like your football comparison….a lot of women hate it b/c they don’t get it and guys spend so much time watching it.

      Guys just aren’t in love with the idea of falling in love. Why is that? Why is it so wrong for a guy to be sensitive and have emotions?

  6. Dear White Yorkie,

    You and I both know that the Watchmen movie sucked and it was ridiculous for anyone to even try to bring it to the big screen.

    Oh, wait, Twilight… I don’t understand the screaming myself. I don’t think it’s Twilight’s fault, as you site Bealtemania as an example. Some girls are screamers. Some guys like it. Er, sorry… ahem. The difference, of course, is that The Beatles are a strong contender for being the greatest rock band of all time (A curious side point: the screaming was BEFORE The White Album, Abbey Road, etc.) and Twilight, well, wasn’t a great book and was kind of a terrible movie.

    I appreciate Twilight the movie for its ridiculousness. I appreciate Twilight the book for its bittersweetness. I think part of the screaming comes from the fact that it’s just one of those things that became a phenomenon (like American Idol *shudder* or the national appeal of Notre Dame football *bigger shudder*) and people get so swept away in it that it snowballs into something bigger and better than it actually is. So, Twilight isn’t just a book series or a movie anymore, it’s something much larger, and because we’re an image- and celebrity-obsessed society, Kristen, Rob and Taylor have become the faces for it.

    I think it’s a probably a fruitless task to find something “great” about Twilight, because if you haven’t gotten swept away, you just won’t see it. (Not to mention, there really isn’t anything in particular to get about it anyway.) It’s like the bell from Santa’s sleigh in The Polar Express… also a book that should never have been turned into a movie.

    Ah, and I’ve come full circle.


    • “Some girls are screamers” TRUTH! and then there are some girls who wont talk to Rob/Tay/Twi-dude of choice even if they were stuck in an elevator with them…


      Just me being a nervous weirdo then? Sigh…

      • *whispers*

        I wouldn’t.

        • I wouldn’t be able to because I’d be thinking of what I’ve posted on here & sniggering too much. See, LTT has ruined me.

        • I wouldn’t either. I’d probably try to pretend that I have no idea who any of them are but would secretly be dying inside.

        • Oh Thank God…People look at me funny when I say that
          “But you’re a Twilight fan…”
          “Oh I’m sorry, I didnt know Twilight = nut job. Now stop talking to your Jonas Brothers poster and go get a life”

        • I wouldn’t be able to talk because I would be licking Rob’s ballsack!

          I ❤ you Fang!

      • There would be no body guards, right?
        OK, then I would be too busy looking for a way to make sure the elevator remains stuck between two floors for a very long time to waste time screaming. And then I would use the opportunity to assault them – I mean, making brilliant conversation, sure to dazzle them so that they eventually walked off on the wrong floor with me and ended up somewhere completely different… *le sigh*

    • “You and I both know that the Watchmen movie sucked and it was ridiculous for anyone to even try to bring it to the big screen.”

      Wha-? I mean, maybe it could have been better…I loved it. LOVED IT. That could have to do with a certain sex scene in Archie and Patrick Wilson being involved, but whatever. Seriously though. Patrick Wilson. Naked. Sex. Gah!

    • “Some girls are screamers”
      Thats What She Said!!

      Sorry, couldnt resist.

    • You mean I’m not the only one that was creeped out by that weird, half animated, half not, Polar Express movie? That shiz was so bad.

      • It terrified me. One of the worst abominations of cinema ever. I expect more out you, Tom Hanks…. because obviously Tom Hanks reads this.

        • You know he does. And uses his best Robin Wright voice when watching Twilight.

          “Ruuuuuuuuun, Edward! Ruuuuuuuuuun”

          • I may or may not have done that very same impression a time or two.

            As well as the “Hello, my name is Edward, Edward Cullen” to the tune of Hank’s famous line from that movie.

          • Gah. If only Edward would play ping-pong with Bella . . .

    • Totally agree with you about The Beatles. One of the greatest bands of all time!

      Therefore, I think Twilight should be compared to the ’90s boy bands instead. The Backstreet Boys, Nsync, 98 Degrees…. All produced some pretty icky, sickeningly ooey-gooey lovey-dovey music that no self-respecting guy would ever EVER voluntarily listen to – total guilty pleasure for the female population, just like Twilight. And they produced the gigantic, screaming crowds of pre-teen/teen girls. I should know – I was one of them. BSB 4EVA!! Woo! 😉

      • Good comparison! Especially because I never liked any of them and even publicly disparaged them, but in private, I was known to tap my foot to the beat or even sing along if a song came on the radio, lol.

  7. I’m with you, WY. I love to hate Twilight, but also love Twilight at the same time. I don’t have one good explanation. To use one of your examples, Xena was cheese-arific but someone liked it, right? (I may or may not admit to being one of them.)

    Did you actually read the books? They are (like all book to film stories) much better than the movies. In fact, I hate everything about the movies aside from Jacobs abs, but that’s another story. Twilight has made thousands of teenage girls to read when they probably wouldn’t otherwise, which is a good thing. (Right?) But I don’t blame you if you haven’t. I can’t get my own hubby to read them, either. He plays the “I’m straight!” card as well. I think you and TF should be made to read the books and THEN tell us what you think. I am sure you won’t hold back, and Moon will probably lend you one of her several copies! C’mon….it takes maybe a day or two to read the first one. I can’t wait to hear the report!

    • I will admit it: I watched and loved the show Xena, as well as Hercules. Cheesy and silly for sure, but Xena was kick-ass!! If there were re-runs running somewhere, I’d totes watch them.

      It got very, very strange in the last few years though.

      Also, both shows were produced by Sam Raimi, whom we should all know and love (I hope) from such gems as the Spidermans and most importantly the Evil Dead trilogy.

  8. Dear LTT
    I am on “Team Illegalwolflover” on this one…(hey maybe you should get a T-shirt with this). … I am tired of explaining my
    Twilight hobby/obsession/fascination to anyone who doesn’t understand. They don’t have to…isn’t that what makes America great?? The right to spend copious amounts of money on memorabilia that no one will buy at garage sales when I am able to collect social security….the right to waste time on blogs/magazines/watching Twilight over and over and over……words escape me to explain…

    • I had one! but the Hansen confiscated it, just like he did with the “Chris Hansen is a cock-blocker” tees (with Tay’s face bedazzled on it ) worn by pervy Twi-mums. A little part of me died that day…. 😦

      • Dear Illegalwolflover,
        Ahem…I could be considered one of those “Pervy Twi Moms” but at least I am fun to party with!!! Doesn’t that count for something?

        • The fact that you are so self-aware means that you are NOT a pervy Twi Mum…you are an appreciator! and yes I would LOVE to party with someone as awesome as you! 🙂

          • Next time and it will be the third time….my “Tweeps” (other obsessed Twi Moms) go on a Forks Pub Crawl consider yourself invited…you cannot believe how many divey bars there are to discover between Portland and Forks.!! We always meet someone even crazier/whacked out then us!! Have a great weekend Ms. illegalwolflover…

  9. Well that’s the fun of dating. I have my girls to swoon over Robward, watch Twilight and go shopping. I don’t want a guy to understand this, watch the movie with me or help me pick out my outfit. Hells no. I don’t even want an Edward type of boyfriend. Getting your way all the time is just incredibly boring.
    It are the basic differences between guys and girls that make a relationship interesting and intriguing.
    Nothing as sexy as a silly fight from time to time. You can go out to have some beers with the guys or watch your porn, I’ll just retreat to twi-land in meantime. No need to talk about it.

  10. WY,

    So excited to read your first post! This had me laughing out loud, ” And yet, you would think the crowd had just seen the trailer for Citizen Cane II: The Return of Rosebud.”

    Welcome to the nuttiness!

  11. Dear White Yorkie,

    Let me explain why Twilight appeals to us *ahem* slightly older women.
    Imagine you are a housewife. Your day is spent taking care of your kids, cleaning, doing laundry, grocery shopping and cooking. Then one day you pick up this copy of Twilight and you’re introduced to Bella Swan, who pretty much lives the same life you do, minus the kids.
    Then Edward Cullen appears in her life. He’s gorgeous, rich, mysterious and he wants nothing more than to be with her. I’ll say it again. He wants NOTHING from her, except to just spend time with her. He doesn’t need her to clean or cook or do his laundry. He thinks she’s the greatest thing in the world and he wants to take care of her.
    Let me tell you, as a stay-at-home-mom, that is a pretty easy story to get sucked into.
    Just as you wanted to be Luke Skywalker (I know you did/do), we want to be Bella Swan and have hot guys fight over us.
    It’s just that simple 🙂

    • *Climbing up on the soap box*
      Yes, the appeal of Twilight is easy to get if you look at it superficially: it’s the classic tale of the normal girl, who feels like a nobody, falling for the mysterious, beautiful and unobtainable prince. And then the incredible happens: the prince wants her, and her only, and lets her into his secret world, worshipping the ground she walks on! We have all dreamed dreams of being special to someone who seemed beyond our reach, so of course we can identify with this.

      Stephenie Meyer has managed to find a new and powerful twist to this mythological story in Edward and Bella, in the meeting between vampire and human, but the power of the story is all to do with our dream of being totally loved and singled out as special by someone we adore. Or so I believe.
      *Getting off the soap box*

    • Yes. During the Twilight promo tour, Rob kept asking girls why they loved Edward so much, and apparently no one was giving him an answer that he felt was adequate. Here’s mine: Women want to feel like they are the ONLY one a guy wants. Edward’s been around for decades. He’s seen so many chicks. Hot chicks, smart chicks, cool chicks, even sexy vampire chicks. Not one of them interested him at all. In nearly 100 years of repressed teen sexual torture, only Bella turned him on. We want that. We get real tired of knowing that that dude who is hitting on us is just doing so because he totally blew it with the hotter or sluttier chick that walked past earlier, who is nothing even remotely like us. Insult! Read: That guy has no discerning taste and is only looking for ass.
      So, here’s my advice, WY. Make your woman feel like she’s your ONLY, m-kay?

      Caveat: Edward’s obsession with Bella is a bit much. Like when she needs to talk with her mom on the phone for 15-30 minutes (don’t remember which book), and instead of leaving the room and picking up a book or turning on the TV or creating toothpick/mini marshmallow houses, Edward just sits behind Bella, playing with a lock of her hair. That sh*t would get old fast. Making someone feel like they are the only partner you want is good, but making someone feel like they are your only “reason for living, if that’s what you are” is f*cked up.

      • “Edward just sits behind Bella, playing with a lock of her hair.”

        Yeah, this is why I like Twilight Edward and that’s pretty much it. Eclipse Edward is clingy.

        And I make no apologies and I will not be ashamed of the fact that I like Twilight Edward, stalker or not. That is all.

        • “Yeah, this is why I like Twilight Edward and that’s pretty much it. Eclipse Edward is clingy.”

          Yes. I loved Twilight Edward. But I “woo hooed’ out loud and spilled my wine when I read that “Bella escapded her babysitter to see Jaccob in LaPush”

        • Twilight Edward = fuckhawt

          NM Edward = asshole; looked like an old man; but mitigated somewhat by gratuitous shirtless scene

          Eclipse Edward = clingy loser who spends his whole relationship making a series of “deals” with his partner and angry eyes at the wolf boy

          Breaking Dawn Edward = absent (after sex, of course); dead beat dad

          • Too funny, I am thinking the same thing.

            With all that hunting that Renesmee is doing with wolfie (not daddy), who is changing all of those diapers. Oh yeah, Rosalie.

      • That’s right. The appeal of Edward is not just his single-minded obsession with Bella, but also his “unobtainableness”. There has to be that forbidden element, which is achieved in Twilight by the vampire/human problem. Edward refuses Bella’s advances at the same time he’s obsessed. Why that is so sexy and appealing I don’t know, but it is. Cue the screaming tweens.

        • I agree (again) with The Old One. And I’d say it’s also the appeal of the “bad boy” as well. But not just a punk ass thug – the bad boy’s gotta have a conscience….and maybe be a little conflicted and angsty. But in an internal way. I guess you might classify it as “that guy’s deep“. And in being deep there’s also a sort of unobtainability there (as The Old One mentioned above) AND a sense of unattainability. Meaning the bad boy is embroiled in this self turmoil and he’s guarded and doesn’t let anyone in. He just stoically suffers in silence. Then this girl comes along and he let’s her in. Something he hasn’t done for anyone in a hundred some-odd. So obviously this girl is “special” (and not in the short-bus kind of way). So, we lose ourselves in the vicarious escapism of being the special woman that this unobtainable, unattainable manly perfection wants above anyone else.
          ….well, at least that was part of it for me. But I might just need a hug 🙂 (j/k)

        • I thought the appeal had to do with Edward’s instincts. He is animal-like in his desire, and sex with him would be so powerful and so good that it could potentially kill you. I believe the french call it, “le petite mort”…the little death…i.e. an orgasm so great…you’ll die….just sayin’

    • Actually, I’m working (well… I am supposed to be working), not a housewife (no plans to be one, no offense), and I love Twilight.

  12. Welcome White Yorkie,

    I’m married, so dating is out for me (unless Rob is available-vows? what vows?) but I can tell you a little bit of why i love Twilight. It’s sort of like falling in love for the first time all over again. It brings those feelings and memories back. I cried when I read New Moon-I totally understood what Bella was going through. It’s very easy to relate to Edward and Bella ‘s intense love for one another.I can relate to Bella’s awkwardness-and who doesn’t love Edward’s devotion, chivalry and undying love? And like Bella, after all the ups and downs I ended up marrying my Edward(although there was no fear that he might kill me on our honeymoon). Sounds corny, I know. But that’s why I love Twilight.

    • you said it perfectly. Somehow Stephenie captured the absolute transcendence of first love and then she gave it back to us for us to experience. That’s why I got hooked on Twilight.

      I also agree with your married but available to date Rob status – I’ll even bring my own comb to groom his beard (see yesterdays LTR)

  13. Twilight saved my marriage. The hubs was gone all the time and when he came home, we barely spoke, we were so busy with our lives and kids we stopped being a couple.

    We started reading Twilight together (pre movie days) and we had a lot of fun and it got us talking, making fun of the really cheesy, boring parts, and feeling more connected as well. We started going out on dates and just talking more.

    We could have done this with any other book or activity, but Twilight, no matter how poor the writing is, it still draws you in wanting to read the next chapter. So, that was a guarantee, that the next night would be another date night, another conversation about why is Bella so freaking awesome, every guy wants her, do we think Edward is perfect or creepy…

    There, I said it, flay me alive.

    • That is soooo sweet!! My hubs read the books after me and likes them, although he probably wouldnt admit it in a large group. But he puts up with my nuttiness about it, and I love him all the more for it.

  14. Interesting post WY – but I suspect you will never feel that your questions have been answered to your satisfaction, nor the Font’s: call it the feminine mystique, whatever? Like falling in love, you can’t explain it to anyone else who hasn’t been there. (“You sweat, feel nervous in your stomach, can’t sleep or eat, feel euphoric and depressed?? Are you sure you don’t have the flu?”)

    So, does Twilight help your dating? I wouldn’t know, being in a serious relationship I haven’t done any dating in ages. Being a closet Twilighter I’m not sure I would be willing to LET it help my dating, were I on the market so to speak? Maybe it’s just too private to bring up in a first date-situation, just like the private facts of how I sleep with socks because I have cold feet, spend time reading in the loo, and love peanutbutter+honey+crackers. (Sticky!) I think I would start out with easier stuff, like Jacques Derrida or Star Wars? 🙂

    What has Twilight done for me, then? Brought me back to my teenage self in a good way: my sense of the absurd, my love life, my romantic/fantastic side has bloomed. I was getting dull and too adult/serious. Now I have more energy, more fun, more love and I have developed new interests and new sides to myself. And I do NOT wear weird T-shirts or shriek at events! You may approach safely, White Yorkie…

    • Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, MC. Especially ‘you will never feel that your questions have been answered to your satisfaction, nor the Font’s.’

    • Not Derrida!!! No postmodernism on a first date. 😀

      • Aha, (*lifts finger in the air*) but a guy likes to feel intellligent, so making him explain something complicated he knows about will make him feel good about himself, relaxed, and then everything is so much easier.. (I tended to end up on dates with English lit majors..)

        Of course, the subject could be anything he’s good at and you want to know more about. (rock climbing/ French cooking/ klingon) I for one would be only too happy to have someone explain Derrida to me… Are you on tuesdaymidnight? 🙂

        • Hopefully there are no Derrida scholars reading this, because they would probably beat me senseless for saying this, but I can sum how I understand Derrida up in about three words: Meaning is transitory. Or maybe these three: Everything is ambiguous. Or possibly these: Nothing outside (the) text.

          Deconstruction is a nice trick, yes, but he just makes it over and over again. I like reading Derrida on occasion because he’s a beautiful writer… but post-modernism is just so damn depressing.

          Okay, taking off philosophy glasses now. Sorry, everyone.

          • Oh how I love a good discussion of deconstructivism on LTT. Sigh.

          • Thank you, I guess I had a pretty good idea then.. 🙂

            That is an interesting trick I must work on: summing up theories in three words! (Be they depressing or not.)

        • Oh, but you’re totally right. Men do seem to like to feel smart… they also like to talk about themselves. Fragile creatures men are.

  15. I don’t approach the dating world differently because I don’t approach the dating world.

    6.5 years with my lovey. Gawd, that makes me sound old. I’m just 22.

    & I’m sick as hell of explaining why I like stuff too (Holla, illegal!!!). I just do.

    I don’t have time to argue today, so I won’t say why. Like heavy petting, “it only leads to trouble. And seat wetting.” Not my seat. Duh. The ones who are upset by a silly little commenter.

    I don’t have any questions about the twi-world because I don’t know what the hell happens there unless someone tells me. No one has told me anything lately that really matters to me.

    PS. Liked your letter, White Yorkie (this makes me think you are a tiny albino dog.)

    • Ok guys…lets not be petty and immature right? I thought we got over this down-thumbing shit. Whoever you are, I am asking u nicely…please stop…If u cant upthumb…dont thumb at all…(that sounded mildly pervy…I apologise) I know Fangy doesnt care but I do…play nice k? This is a happy place with unicorns and bunny rabbits and sad pandas hiding in bamboo, dont make me bust out my (now unfortunately) pink sash…peace and luuuurve….

    • Oh baby…downthumb me again…Go ahead….you know you want to…mmmm…go on…I love it when you’re sooo….predictable.
      bwahahahahahhaha! 😛

    • Tiny Albino Dog! I can see the avatar now.

    • I love the fact you quoted Rocky Horror Picture Show.
      Thumbs up from me.

  16. It is one of life’s great mysteries, WY. I should, by all accounts, be flicking lit cigarettes into the ponytails of all twihards. And yet, here I am. Squealing with the rest.


  17. I think it’s simple White Yorkie. It just taps into the human need to be truly noticed & loved by someone you think is significant. For lots of teenage girls this will have been the first bit of *literature* that ever voiced this for them…I’m old, but I still get it. My inner 15yr old swoons over Jacob.

    The best you can learn from Twilight, those of you with a Y chromosome (or the WHY chromosome as I’ve occasionally renamed it) is to pay attention, & keep paying attention the the one you love.

  18. I was going through a divorce when Twilight came out, so it did fill a hole in my heart. Contrite, yes, but is it less legitimate a post-divorce coping mechanism than having a fling with the pizza guy? Okay, so I had a fling with the pizza guy too. Point is, Twilight smoothed over some of the jagged edges left by the end of my marriage and pushed me into this world where I’ve made new friends (who rarely talk about Twilight, even though it’s why I know them). The Twi-world is also a safe one for a woman healing from a relationship failure because there are almost no men here to mess with our heads.

    As far as dating goes, I’m not looking for Edward. Real life Edward would be a stalker, and kind of a psychopath with all the murderous tendencies and self esteem issues. But it’s doubtful I’ll end up in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t meet my emotional needs again, because the Twilight story in a weird way helped me identify what my emotional needs are–and what they aren’t. Less because of the actual story and more because it’s gotten me to ask myself questions about love.

    Plus, Rob Pattinson is effing hot.

    • Exactly what Tiff said -> Divorce coping mechanism, minus the pizza guy (I got stuck with FunBobby instead).

      That and the fact that I got to meet all you wonderful Bitches.

      PS I think we have to challenge this WhiteYorkie to a drinking contest as well as the Font.
      Ready gals? #LH2K10

      • Yes – Twilight helps in all your life crises! (And gives you new friends and some sexual healing..)

        Stephenie Meyers novels will now be sold with prescription drugs at your nearest drug store. Every tenth bottle of Prozac you buy comes with a complimentary copy of Twilight… 🙂

  19. I’m running short on time this AM so I didnt get to read all my gals comments, so i may be repeating what they’ve said.

    What fills my Pattzy shaped hole (schwing! youknowwhati’msaying)?

    I’ve been married for 14 years. After 1 year even, you lose those feeling of excitement and anticipation for your partner. These books just took me back to a time of newness in love. It made me remember and long for that…. I’d give anything for a first kiss again, for the feelings of desire for another and being desired by another. Dont get me wrong, long term marriage has many benefits as well, but naturally you lose those things i mentioned above…and these books brought those emotions back for me. Unfortunately it also brought along some depression as i realized i’d never experience those things again. Fortunately, thats where LTT/LTR come in, it gives me an outlet to be bad and share my “rob fantasies” with all us crazies…because THATS NORMAL!

    • Well said. Especially the part about depression-I’d describe as a sad realization that time of your life is in the past, but the books do help bring those feelings back. And the funny thing is, you can keep rereading and still feel the same way.

      • right, because as many times as you read them, your situation doesnt change. every time you read them, you long for those moments.
        Thats why fanfic is good though. You read some of those lemons and then you actually HAVE a partner to reinact them with 🙂 Get a little aroused by RPattz…go to my husband to fill that Pattzy-shaped hole…close my eyes for about 2 minutes….done 🙂

  20. First of all, major squeal a la pubescent comic-con attendees and their mothers re: the announcement of a LTT podcast!

    Secondly, I would sound majorly redundant if I launched into my why-I-love-Twilight spiel. Plus I am too tired, it’s been a long week and I am completely worn out following Tuesday’s Stewathon.

    Therefore, I am going to sum up my love for Twilight in a haiku.

    A white man shimmers.
    Forbidden heartache soars.
    A Death before twilight.

    (Because I am not yet fully caffeinated, I had the assistance of this instant Haiku generator: http://byakkohaiku.tripod.com/ihkg.htm)

    • I love your haiku! I went to an instant generator site and made one too:

      The hard boy gazes
      Forbidden beauty runs
      A dream through the window

      • You lost me at hard boy.

        What is wrong with my brain today? It seems like its only capable of pervy thoughts today!

    • This is too much fun. You may have just ruined my productivity for the day.

      A hot boy explodes.
      Forbidden raindrop flows.
      A leap through the window.

      • Ooh, am lovin’ the Jacob Haiku. Here’s another ode to him:

        A strong fire is born.
        Luminous friendship flows,
        The call into the light.

    • Yay! The Twi-ku is back!

  21. (For the billionth time) Who knows why anyone reads Twilight? I’m a literature snob! I read Maugham, Ellison, and Balzac (haha). I have read every one of Shakespeare’s plays at least 3 times. Throwing Stephenie Meyer into that mix is like ordering a Coney dog at a fancy pants restaurant. I didn’t even touch the stuff until last summer when I needed to see why my me time at B&N was being interrupted with teenaged assholes dressed as trendy vampires. Her books are fun. You don’t have to think, you just swoon over how ridiculously perfect the monster men ate. It’s all gratuitous pretty. Who doesn’t love that?

  22. Um, at my age (30s) telling a potential date you like Twilight, is like saying, “hey, wanna come back to my place and meet my 10 cats?”
    Kiss. of. death.

    • Lmao I love it! All you need is one Jacob and one Edward life size cardboard cut-out to situate in your living room so that when you bring a date back to your house, you can stand in between them and joke about how they’re fighting over you…again. If he purchases that kind of crazy, he might be a keeper.

      • That is crazy!

        However, having my life-sized cut-out Edward standing by my bed as if he’s watching over me while I sleep is okay, right?

  23. Aw, White Yorkie’s a bit of a nerd. (it’s cool, that’s a good thing – I love the nerds)

    I would never admit to liking Twilight to the extent that I do to anyone I had any hope of dating. Or to anyone I had any hope of taking me seriously.

    I do not want an Edward. Twilight may make us all swoon and fangirl (some of us at higher decibels than others), but that doesn’t mean that we’d actually want an Edward. There are qualities to this fictional character that I think most girls like – chivalrous, polite, loyal, devoted – but there are far more creepy qualities that would be any feminist’s nightmare. He’s manipulative and borderline emotionally abusive. And just in case you were wondering, NO I don’t want that in a guy. Yeesh.

    So no, I don’t use Twilight in the dating world. I’m not looking for an Edward. I’m pretty much just looking for a funny, intelligent guy who will have fun doing nerdy shit with me. Oh and he has to be tall. So in case you were thinking of working the Edward angle to get into some Twihard’s pantaloons… don’t. The “cool” Twi-lovers won’t go for it, and you may walk away with more than just your pride injured.

    • Love you, of course.

      • Nothing against you personally, LPB (’cause obvs the love is more than mutual), but Imma pretend that The Chon in your avi is actually professing his love for me. ‘Cause that’s some funny shizz.

    • “I’m pretty much just looking for a funny, intelligent guy who will have fun doing nerdy shit with me.”
      I love it!!
      I am married, but I love that my husband lets me do nerdy immature things like this, and doesnt judge. yes, he occasionally shakes his head and rolls his eyes when the panting starts, but otherwise he thinks its funny. He even helped me stage a funny/creepy picture of myself with a twi poster that a friend gave me, as a joke for her. LOL.

      Since WY is a Star Wars nerd I would think that he could appreciate the nerd factor of Twilight and just let it be what it is. I have learned enough about SW fans in my life to know its best not to question their love, just let it be what it is. My hubs has enough “action figures” of SW to fill our office, and although Im not a diehard, I can appreciate his love for it without needing to question it. I think A LOT of parallels could be drawn between Twi Fans and SW fans!!

      • I agree completely. I don’t question the Star Wars love. Brace yourself White Yorkie… but I’ve never even seen Star Wars. I know, HORROR OF HORRORS!

        So to say that I don’t get the obsession would be an understatement… but I don’t question it. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that White Yorkie over here is WORSE about Star Wars than I am about Twilight. I don’t own any action figures, let alone ANY Twi merchandise outside of the books and DVD. Going to a Twi-centric convention wouldn’t even cross my mind as an option, unless it were to sit in the parking lot with a 6-pack and laugh at all the crazy TwiHards showing up dressed as Isle Esme Bella.

        But I’m not going to grill him on why he loves Star Wars enough to go to a convention for hours on end and throw some elbows just to get a toy… Good for him if he finds joy in that. Let me question myself about why the hell someone like me (tomboy at heart, lover of video games, The Matrix, and QUALITY things like Arrested Development) would fall for poorly written sparkly tween vampire garbage. I don’t understand myself enough to explain it to me, so how can I help someone else understand?

        • Fo’ sho’!! I concur on pretty much every point there. I have seen them, they are ok, but theres about 8 million other movies I would pick up before watching them again. *cough* or twilight 8 million times *cough*. And as much as I love it, the only Twi-merch I own is stuff that has been given to me by the small group of folks who know how deep my love runs. Deep enough to crawl out of anonymity and start commenting on a blog apparently. But def not deep enough to go to a convention or scream like a crazy person if I ever saw the pattz in real life. I dont think if I were dating I would EVER try to use SW as an “in” with a dude, I think that comes across as a little forced. Unless of course you are actually into it, in which case, it makes sense. But if you arent actually INTO it, dont force it. Just roll your eyes and appreciate that most girls have the geek gene too.

        • I thought I was the only one on the planet who did not see Star Wars! It was my only claim to fame…………….

  24. WY~

    Have you read the books? The movie is not why I love Twilight. I can see why you would not understand why people were screaming over a low budget film with (previously) no name actors. The books are what I fell in love with. They are so personal and you really feel like you are in the story. In the RW, would I want a cold, sparkly, stalkerish/controlling vampire that won’t even let me get to second base for a boyfriend? Not so much. I think it’s more about the forbidden love and the passion. Everyone yearns for undying passion and most women are highly curious about and drawn to the bad guy. At least I am.

    Absolutely loved your letter though and excited to hear more from you!


  25. If I weren’t engaged, I would totally marry White Yorkie. Maybe at the very least, we can get my action figures and his action figures together for a little playdate and see what happens.

    Welcome to the Twi-world, TF and WY. You realize you can’t leave now, right?

  26. OK White Yorkie, to suggest that Yorkie should not be a Gaysian is to diss the hair, THE CHON! Don’t you blaspheme in here, just sayin……;-)

    However, what I want to know, and I think this every time a dude weighs in with ‘I don’t get why chicks dig Twilight’ opinions, (and of course everyone is entitled to their opinions…) how is this ANY DIFFERENT than nerding out over some Star Wars minutiae? So we nerd out over Buttcrack Santa, Rob’s hair, Alice’s clothes, Victoria’s need for ‘support’ in the forest (ahem, boys), KStew’s stutter, etc….

    You guys nerd out over the vintage Klaatu action figure, trying to learn the Wookie language of Shyriiwook, finding the elusive Jabba the Hut lego figurine, right? To me, it is the same thing, and yes, the Twilight movie and books are not the greatest thing ever, but even you must admit that some of those Star Wars movies suuuuuuuuuuuuucked.

    I’m saying it’s the same exact thing, and I could type here all day about how it is an escape, and the whole ‘star-crossed lovers’ and Mr Darcy archetype that I will fall for every single time, but frankly, you all must be getting sick of me talking about it.

    So yeah, wimmins be cwazy over this Twilight shizz, but you guys and your Star Wars toys are they exact same way. Exactly.

    (this came across a lot more huffy than I actually feel, sorry)

    • *fistpump* PREACH.

    • Baby! I love you more than I loved the Ewoks…You are epic-ness at it’s best!

    • Ha! That’s what I’m saying! Why can they have action figures but we can’t?? FAIL!

    • I worship that comment.

    • Well, baby…

      You’re exactly right. The hypocrisy of myself and my fellow nerds is one of the points of my letter. Everybody nerds out about something. You guys got your thing and I got mine. And of course there are a ton of things I hate about Star Wars (hence me mentioning how me and my friends would change many, many things). I could go on for pages.

      But for me, it’s really more like the “new kid at school” thing, for lack of a better analogy, when it comes to the Twilight fanpeoples.

      When the Twi-Hards crashed Comic-Con for the first time 2 summers ago, it was kinda like that. Like a giant back-peddling of Nerd Culture. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s this?! They do what? And who sparkles? And they don’t die in sunlight? Baseball?!” And I guess I kinda wanted all those kiddies there that year to understand how much they were missing by ONLY attending Twilight stuff. There’s so much other cool stuff out there. And a lot of it is legit. Like legit, legit. Does that make sense?

      Also, just a general note, I didn’t really want y’all to “defend” yourselves or whatever in response to my letter. I mean, for the love of sweet Stephenie, you’ve had to do that enough, right? It was more to start a discussion about dating, relationships, etc. But hey, we need to save something for the Podcast, right?

      Yorkie out.

  27. Eh. I don’t HAVE a Pattzy-shaped hole in my heart. Neither do I have a dating life, nor a desire to muddle through my Twi-love explanation again.

    Anyone up for Star Wars vs. Star Trek?

    • Aaaaaaand Go!

      • I hate Star Trek.

        I love Star Wars.

        The end.

        • I couldn’t decide if I liked you or not, Fangbanger. But you have now won me over! (But I’m still trying to forget that you liked the prequels.)

        • How do you feel about Battlestar Galactica? I discovered it over X-mas…

          • It’s Frakkin’ AMAZING!!!!

            I seriously love you for asking about it MariaCecilia!

            I was a major follower of that show, which came after being majorly skeptical of it. I love it more than Twilight. It’s true. BSG has sparked many a philosophical discussion amongst my friends and family who also enjoyed it.

            If you ever need to squee/discuss/question something about the BSG-verse, I’m your girl. ‘So Say We All’

          • I LOVE Battlestar Galactica!!!!! just sayin’

    • Obviously Star Wars is numero uno, but I did enjoy the latest Star Trek movie. Chris Pine? Yes please!

    • Yes! Down with explanations! Up with side buns and gold bikinis!

      • Side buns and gold bikinis – at the same time? Audacious. You wouldn’t be planning your BFF first date outfit would you?

        • First date with BFF? Sneaky sneaky… you almost got me there SJ…
          I dont have hair long enough for the buns, Imma have to use meat patties… 😛

          • Wow. I hope he picks you up in an X-wing and not an ’86 Rabbit. Just sayin’ . . .

          • He’ll be nibblin’ on your ears in no time and before you know it……mmm, you may have to hold him off with meat patties for just a few more weeks.

            BTW – where is my party invite???

    • Def. Star Wars over Star Trek. I like that the character names sound like alcoholic beverages. You could feasibly go to a bar and order a Lando Calrissian. I bet it’s Colt 45 and cranberry juice. It goes down smooth, but it’s gonna betray you later that night.

    • Since we’re melding the worlds of Twi and Sci-Fi today (Sci-Twi? Twi-Fi?), I have to admit to a very geeky scenario I came up with a while back. Really, I’m giving away the movie rights to the first taker: vampires would make the best astronauts. They don’t have to breathe or eat or sleep or eliminate (I know, the blood could be a problem but whatever). They could move around in outer space without spacesuits because absolute zero and no air wouldn’t bother them. Although they would look really hot in form-fitting lycra jumpsuits. The budget for space exploration would be slashed to almost nothing if you didn’t need to pay for all that life-support stuff. Just a couple of tanks of blood and off they go! And if they run into hostile aliens, well, Alien vs. Edward, coming soon!

      • Ok…vamps, needing blood, Lycra body suits, space, astronauts, got it!
        Twilight meets True Blood meets Stick It meets The Right Stuff meets…..9 1/2 Weeks meets In the Cut (because, seriously, I want the shmex with my blood-drinking-lycra-wearing-spacemen).

      • Vamps in Space.

        I love you more every day.

  28. I have to say WhiteYorkie, I appreciate your willingness to talk about Twilight with us, and TRY to understand what makes the ladies love it so much. And big hint, the ladies will love you all the more for it.

  29. WY,
    I too love Star Wars and LOTR and a lot of other dorky stuff, (still haven’t been sucked in by HP yet). I’m proud to admit that I love Star Wars and LOTR but am hesitant to even lead on that I know what Twilight is and I still haven’t quite grasped onto why I feel this way. Is it because “dorky” movies geared towards men are considered cool, but ones geared towards woman are “lame?” Why is it that men can have their Boba Fett action figure but if I have one of Edward, (I may or may not), then I’m obsessed? I hate double standard but I perpetuate it by not coming out of the closet with my love for Twilight. Am I finally going to do it? Probably not, but it was worth throwing out there.

    • That is SOOOO true. Star Wars or Trek nerds wear it like a badge of honor and I *literally* skulked out of the movie theater with my hoodie pulled up after watching the New Moon midnight show. (there was a TV crew there interviewing peeps and there was no way in HALE I was going to be caught on camera). I love HP and have no problem telling my co-workers that I went to see the latest movie, but I took the day off after the premier for a “doctors appt.”
      Some of it may have to do with the predominant feelings toward the fandom and the craziness of it. I wasnt willing to be lumped in with the girls who went nuts over Leo during the titanic days, and I can guess I would have scoffed at the Beatles fainters back then had I been around. I dont want to be lumped in with the *crazies* or the teen girls who write status updates on FB like they have recently been hit in the head with a blunt object. But, as you said, this is just perpetuating the problem, since there is no one out there showing the sane, albeit slightly obsessed, side of Twi-fans. Aside from LTT of course 😉

      • So true delilah! It’s interesting that I am willing to associate myself with people who dress up as Star Wars characters and wait in line for four days to see the movie (if you haven’t seen the Triumph the Insult dog interviewing these people, YouTube it now!) because that’s normal, but I’m not willing to even hint to anyone besides my Twi-bff, LTT folks and my husband that I’m interested in Twilight. WTF?

        • It is interesting… maybe with some time will come some perspective on the Twi-fandom. I wasnt around when SW came out, but Im willing to bet that the people who were really really into it were probably ridiculed and kept their “action figures” on the DL back then. Its only after some time when it gets a cult following does it become “geek chic” or whatever you wanna call it. Maybe in 20 years my kids will be wearing vintage edward tees and doing midnight showings of Twi where they all dress up as characters and recite the lines…

          **All together now… “Hang on Spider Monkey”…

          On another note, I love you name, I saw jim gaffigan do a show this last summer and I nearly peed myself numerous times. My fave? *creepy whisper* diarrhea pocket….

          • Maybe in the 70’s you didn’t have to hide your dorkdom. You could probably just chalk it up to being stoned 24/7.

            I’m soooo glad you love Jim Gaffigan! When he talks about the folks who came up with the Hot Pocket Jingle…. pure genious!

          • Yeah, my only real frame of reference for this theory is That 70’s Show where they make fun of eric for his Star Wars sheets and dolls. Maybe some chronic woudl help chill out some of the twi-crazies? I am guessing Kstew could get them a hook up…

          • Oh, no, not the vintage Edward tees and midnight talk-along-shows. I’ll be there with my walker, Pocket Edward and Pocket Bella taped to the handrails, yelling “Buttcrack Santa!” at the screen . . .

          • I cant wait to tell my grandkids “I was there when the original came out and people were just confused by Buttcrack Santa and Monkey Men…. and we had to drive to the theater both ways, not the fancy teleporters you kids have these days. ” Or something of that nature.

      • “That is SOOOO true. Star Wars or Trek nerds wear it like a badge of honor ”

        So true. Isn’t that the premiss of “The Big Bang Theory”? Umm, those guys bought a time machine. That would be the equivalent of a Twi-fan buying an “Ed bed” complete with bitten pillow.

        • LOVE LOVE LOVE the big bang theory. That one I am completely outed on at work and keep trying to recruit others to watch it. Maybe someday I will be that open about twilight *sigh*

          AND I love the alliteration of the Ed Bed. Awesome. I can just see the marketing now, a broken headboard with feathers sticking to it, mangled sheets. They could put out a totally POS product and make bucu bucks. This is starting to sound like a great business plan!!!

      • Speaking of fangirl FB updates, I just saw a gem:
        “Me and my sweetie and he doesn’t even sparkle in the sun.” Written under a picture of the two of them. wtf? I die of 2nd hand embarrassment! That’s why I won’t admit I’m a fan!

    • 1. I, too, love Star Wars & LOTR, but have yet to swallow the red pill of HP. I bought the first book yesterday. I will report back from “the other side.”

      2. Boba Fett is hawt. That is all.

      • I’m not going to lie, I once had a picture of Boba Fett signed by the actor that played him.

        • Duuuuuude. Jeremy Bulloch? I’m jealous. The only thing approaching that level of awesome would be the autograph of Boba Phat, International Booty Hunter.

          • Oh yeah! A family friend new I was a huge Star Wars fan and actually met Jeremy Bulloch at a convention and had him sign a picture for me. After a few moves, I couldn’t find it anymore. Sad face 😦

            I could definitely get down with Boba Phat!

  30. It’s pretty simple, White Yorkie. Twilight is two things that appeal to women: melodrama and foreplay.

    • Wow! Epiphanette! That is actually a big chunk of why I like Twilight (I’m also hugely clutzy, incredibly pale, and shy so I relate to Bella) but I’ve never read quite that succinctly.

  31. BTW, since you’re gonna be around for awhile, Imma call you “New Yorkie” in my head, k?

    1. It reminds me of ridiculousness. And Flava Flav. And big clocks.

    2. The “old” White Yorkie is . . . what?

    Are you chiming in on our Star Wars v. Star Trek discussion? I’d really like your take on Tribbles vs. Ewoks.

    • *holds hand*

      I kinda flove you right now.

      BTW, I thought you said “big cocks” and was wondering how you knew Flava Flav’s measurements.

      Glad to clear that up… with myself… in bed… with mustard.

  32. White Yorkie – I heart you for mentioning a “special edition Kill Bill Hanso sword “.

    • Me too! I was so thinking about the scene where O-Ren is scalped but didn’t think anyone else would appreciate it. Glad to know I am not the only one! Now I have to go dust off the dvd’s for a little bloodbath! (ok, a big bloodbath…)

  33. The Font on the regular??? I’m in love.

  34. I like it for this simple fact:
    Twilight is pretty.
    Forests and rain and vamps, oh my!

    I like getting sucked into the world of pretty where VILFs and WILFs abound.

  35. Where’s MidnightCyn? Helloooooooooooo?

    • She was totally traumatised the other day. If anyone knows her personal email, tell her it’s safe to come back out now.

      • I also stayed away. UC and Moon stir up the crazies! Obviously I’m way too NORMAL to stay on those days. ahem.

  36. Welcome, White Yorkie, welcome. I think you’ve scared off Bobbygee, or infringed on his personal harem today, and he’s skulked off to that mysterious place where he lurks?

    I’m not gonna add to all the insightful comments because I have a fear of being boringly redundant. Probably too late to do anything about that. But I want to ask, how did you find yourself right inside Hall H, where you could see all that going down? Didn’t you need a special ticket? If you didn’t, why were you in there in the first place? What aren’t you telling us, White Yorkie?

  37. White Yorkie,

    I have no effing clue why (except for agreeing with Tiffanized’s comment above). Mostly, I like the bitches that I have met here and can be snarky with. I also can drink like a man….can you?

    -Jane Trigs

  38. “The Return of Rosebud.” Now that’s a movie I NEVER want to see.
    (Best ending ever…Citizen Kane’s, that is.)

    And have you SEEN Lucy Lawless in Spartacus? Word is she’s fully-frontally nekkid in this Friday night’s episode. That’s programming I can get behind.

    Oh, wait…this is about Twilight. Not Orson Welles or the new sex & gore show on Starz. Right.

    I don’t have a Pattzy-shaped hole in my heart. There’s a God-shaped hole in all of us. So I can’t help ya there…

    (Moon, please LOVE my ability to work in a CCM reference in nearly every comment I make. One day I’ll be inspired to write out my version of “The King is Coming.” Ahem.)

  39. Kevin Smith said something to this effect in regards to the Twilight pandemonium and the ire it caused at this year’s Con:

    “I love Comicon. It’s the only place where a guy can walk in dressed in a Spock costume, point to a guy in a Chewie costume and say, ‘Look at that fuckin’ GEEK.’ ”


  40. Adding a male perspective is a BRILLIANT idea, UC & Moon! I can’t wait to see more!

  41. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by TWILIGHTF0REVER: White Yorkie has some questions for you and remembers Comic Con 2008: *Hey guys, remember The Font? Remember the s… http://bit.ly/ctdG2m

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