Christmas Caroling with the Cullens

Dear LTTers,

How are you!? Stuffed? Tired? Are you wearing your new clothes and playing your new CDs and watching your new DVDs? Good. Moon & I are busy with our families this weekend, but have no fear! We don’t plan to stop the holiday celebration. In fact, we both printed out today’s caroling lyrics and plan to lead our families in many rousing choruses throughout the day. So don’t stop the holiday celebrations! Get back in the spirit by singing the following Christmas carols with more appropriate lyrics!

“I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas” Listen to the Real song here

Now that Edward is back, Bella spends less time with Jake. She’s not as happy as Stephenie Meyers makes her seem. And the holidays are especially tough. Bella is all sentimental…. wishing for more time with Jake. And so she sings this tune….

Who invited Buttcrack Santa?

I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas
Just like they have down on the res
Where Emily bakes her muffins
and jorts are in fashion
and everyone does what Sam Uley says

I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas
Just like when that wolf was my best friend
I won’t even throw a face punch
when he tries to kiss me
really, he wouldn’t be a bad boyfriend

I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas
Every time Emmett jokes that I’m his snack
May your days be 110 degrees and laidback
And may all your Christmases be Black

Sing more tunes after the jump!

“I’m Dreaming of a Breaking Dawn”

Calliopeblabs was feeling especially Christmasey last time she thought about Breaking Dawn. She decided to share her feelings, in song…

Please don't let the dress be this fffuuuuggglllyy!

I’m dreaming of a Breaking Dawn
Just like the one my mind has dreamed
There there’s no fade to black,
And romps in the sack,
With moans and “Yes! Yes!” loudly screamed.

I’m dreaming of a breaking dawn,
Where there’s no frolic in the woods,
No awful dress decision,
We saw from the bella vamp vision,
Just please, deliever the sexy silk dress goods.

I’m dreaming of a breaking dawn,
Where imprinting doesn’t seem so wrong,
Cus Jacob falls in love with a baby,
That’s gross, how could SM not see?
besides, what boy would wait that long?

I’m dreaming of a breaking dawn,
Where when we see renesmees born,
There’s less “what the f*ck” from the story,
We don’t need it to be so gory
Don’t wanna spew up my overpriced popcorn.

“The Summit Holiday Bash”

Calliopeblabs (yes HER again) paints a beautiful picture of the Summit Entertainment holiday party to the tune of “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” (Hear the original song here)

RSVP so we can know how many Hot Pockets to order

Hanging around the Open Bar
at the Summit holiday bash
you swoon cus DILFs are not too far
The Fach and Billy Sans copstashe

Walking over to the finger food
Rob and Kristen are diggin’ in
You hear them both shout in a cheery mood
“Hot Pockets for the Win!”

Moving around the crowded dancefloor
You’ll see Jackson covered in sweat
Grinding up on every last whore
While the monkeys “play” a set

Suddenly you get a pissed off feeling when you hear
Nikki screeching
“kristen’s a hoe; take me back rob I clearly can’t let go”

Get ready to get CRUNK with these old dudes!!

Listening in to bathroom noise
You’ll hear Ashley Greene admit
two lists of twi saga boys,
the ones she’s done and those shes yet to hit

TayTay get’s a warm and fuzzy feeling, when he sees Kellan walk in
“flexin his muscles; Crap! TayTay, no one is supposed to know”

lurking around the Christmas Tree
It’s a summit holiday
Everyone’s groping drunkenly
In a classic TwiCast way

Merry Christmas (again!) Thanks Calliope! XO

Love, UC & Moon

One Year later and our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter