Something’s Different: No more new Twilight fans?

This is my Monday night date. You should SEE who I get on Thursdays..

Dear LTTers,

Something feels different. No, I don’t mean it’s been awhile since Ashley Greene was caught with some sort of Hollywood party boy (although it has been) nor do I mean that I haven’t cracked a joke about KStew’s mullet in awhile (although that’s true too). I just mean that this year, with the recent release of New Moon, feels quite different than last year after the release of Twilight. I can’t really put my finger on it exactly, but so far I’ve come up with this: Everyone is already a Twilight fan! Yes, my friends, Twilight has saturated the market. There are no new fans to be found. There is no one left who hasn’t tried out the books/movies and hated it (let’s burn them) or devoured the books in 36 hours and spent the next few months watching every clip ever mentioning “The Twilight Saga” online. It’s gotten as big as it’s going to get. Or…… has it? We received this letter the other day that had me questioning why I think something feels different:

Dear Twilight,

It’s been just over a month since that fateful Thursday, November 12, when I picked up my reserved copy of Twilight at my local library and finally started reading the first book of your saga. I was merely curious as to what was causing all of the hype and why my sister-in-law’s ideal man was named Edward Cullen. I figured with the movie, New Moon, coming out in a couple of weeks, now would be a good time to read this curiously popular book. I didn’t expect to stay up until 2am reading the first 375 pages, only forcing myself to bed because of work obligations the next morning. As I drifted off to sleep that night, my mind swirled with thoughts of Edward, Bella and the rest of the intriguing inhabitants of Forks, WA. The next day at work I was thankful that it was a Friday, but even more so I was excited to go (rush) home and finish the remaining pages of Twilight. I cracked open a bottle of red wine, broke off a piece of Ghirardelli’s Twilight Delight dark chocolate (I couldn’t resist!) and finished reading the remaining pages of Twilight. And so it began…

In all truth, I didn’t expect to like you. I didn’t expect to love you so much, re-reading you multiple times while awaiting my hold for New Moon to be filled at the library. Like so many others before me (apparently), I voraciously read the remainder of the saga in the next two weeks (only taking so long due to the wait at the library).

I can’t quite explain my new infatuation with you, and to be honest, my husband, at first, was a bit confounded, fearing that he would come home one day to find me all gothed-out and wearing white makeup. I assured him I had no desire to be a vampire. I don’t want to be Bella. I just love the characters and the inexplicable way it makes me feel when I read their story.

The saga is now #1 on my Christmas list this year, along with the special edition DVD.

Does her story sound familiar? Just maybe a year after yours? Read on after the jump!

In the last month, I have done the following:

  • Re-read Twilight countless times
  • Re-read my favorite portions of New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn
  • Downloaded the audio version of Twilight onto my iPod so I can listen to it at the gym and in my car
  • Watched the movie Twilight countless times
  • Watched New Moon 3 times in the theater
  • Watched the infamous one-hour Vanity Fair video
  • And most recently, I have begun to find those online who, like me, have been so enamored with the story, its characters and the allure of one, Mr. Robert Pattinson (Is he really only 23??? Too young. Too young).

With the joy that I have found in experiencing the world that is Twilight, I also find myself a little sad. I feel like I’ve just arrived at a party that’s in full swing where I know no one. It’s like I’ve enrolled at Twilight University and all of the electives and groups have been filled, and I am left alone with independent study. I have no one to discuss the thrill of finding Midnight Sun and constantly re-reading it at work when I’m not supposed to. I have no one to discuss the various aspects of the love triangle and my frustration with Bella’s inability to make a decision (cardholding member of Team Edward!), not to mention the many WTF moments in Breaking Dawn and my disappointment that Jacob didn’t end up with Leah. My husband was kind enough to go see New Moon with me, and although content, I sat alone to watch New Moon two more times, wishing I had another fan to share both the triumphs and failures of Chris Weitz, as well as my new observances, like Edward wearing the same clothes from the break-up scene to Rio and Volterra. I now know that these are all topics that have already been covered numerous times online, and I’m just trying to keep up.

Alas, I am a 31-year-old married accountant with no kids. I’m not supposed to like Twilight, and although a few in my circle of friends have read the books, none seem to be as swept up into it as I am. With my recent searches online, I feel blessed to have found others like me. I especially identify and appreciate the “cool kids” like Jenny Jerkface, Snarkier Than You, UnintendedChoice and Themoonisdown. It’s refreshing to find those who appreciate you and yet can audaciously make fun of you. Reading the various letters and blog entries, I haven’t laughed so hard in months. It’s nice to be in on the joke that so many wouldn’t understand outside of the Twilight realm.

I don’t want to be in independent study any more. I’m crashing the party. I want to be in on it! <stomping foot and pushing lower lip out “petulantly”> I refuse to watch Eclipse multiple times in the theater alone. So now, with this letter, I take the first step to join the many who have come before me, sheepishly raising my hand and saying, “Hi. My name is Jennifer. I’m a Twilight fan too. Will you be my friend?”


I guess our obsession with big dudes & McDonalds could be odd if you're just joining us...

Okay… so Jennifer JUST read the saga!? Girl- where have you been!? So if she’s new to all of this… she can’t be the only one, right? So why do I feel like something feels different? Is it that I no longer know any Twilight virgins and only surround myself with those who have already lost their virginity? Do I shy away from those newly on the path of de-virginization? Am I embarrassed to be around those who don’t know who sings about making a kitty meow, what “Jorts” are, where Kellan went to youth group back home in South Dakota, when a certain someone turns 17 and why “Chris Hansen wants you to take a seat” is such a scary phrase? In our attempts to be funny about something different each and every day, do we forget that there are actually people out there who have NO idea who Big Daddy is (what a travesty)? And they never to see AmanDUH reenact Twilight with “special Edward” before she pulled it off You Tube? That was the DEFINITION of 2nd-hand embarrassment. Some people are STILL in the dark!

Jennifer: on behalf of all of us everywhere who have been a part of this for what seems like forever, who have an intimate understanding of the fears & hurts of Buttcrack Santa, who understand WHY PattinsonPants lady wears what she wears (Rob DID look her way!), who miss the simple days of fake lesbians and Italian Spices and have hoped every day for an invite to Kellan Lutz’ Wednesday Night Prayer group, we welcome you to our party. Welcome to our class. Cancel that independent study and join Twilosophy 101. Also known as New Moonlosophy 101, Taylosophy 101, and Tweedlosophy101. You also have an option to join Roblosophy 101 and study introductory courses like “Is he or isn’t he wearing underwear in this picture” and write essays answering tough questions such as “If Rob were to show up in your home right now, but you were watching 10 small children under the age of 5 and not due to be free for another 4 hours, but Rob only had 1 hour to spare, what would you do?” (There is also an option for extra credit if you can make it through an entire 100Monkey’s show without groaning, inserting ear plugs or yelling to your neighbor “Holy S*it! This sucks SO bad”)

Welcome to our party, Jennifer! We offer many ways for you to waste your time enrich your life!


What do you think about The Twilight Saga being over-saturated? Do YOU know any Twilight virgins? We get emails often, though none as honest as Jennifer’s, that ask what “jorts” are, who “Chris Hansen” is and why we assume Kellan Lutz can all the books of the Bible while singing the Bible tune. So we KNOW there are newbies out there. There are newbies who don’t comment because they feel like they’ve missed a year’s worth of jokes. Let’s make today a WELCOME DAY for the new fans, the new LTT readers and those who JUST learned who Chris Hansen is and are now ‘shaking in their boots’ because they heard a knock on their door and they are just putting the finishing touches on a you tube video they are creating called “101 different angles of Taylor Lautner with his shirt off!”

These are GREAT places to find Twilight/LTT friends:

One Year later and our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

200 Responses

  1. Truth. Beautiful.

    This is where the heart of Twilight beats. Join in the delight! Become an Aficionada with alll the rest of us NORMAL gals!

    • Has this picture been up here before? I got a laugh out of it…

      but i must say that i do miss the thrill that i felt when i 1st descovered the Twi-mania that overcame me… ahh the good ol’ days… (but these Twi-days are still good too!)

      Morning Ya’ll!

      • Ambush!!!! 2 whole comments!!!…What a way to start my day…This is good…I was just about to get drastc with my pushyness ala Miley Cyrus-come-back-on-twitter-or-kitty-gets-it….

      • That photo was Uh-mazingly funny. Glad you’re commenting again as well.

      • Morning Ambushed…thanks for starting my day with a smile!!! I made your avatar ornament yesterday and it looks great..going on the tree (hopefully) today! Please keep posting, cause as much as I love all the newbies…and there seems to be so many new faces,…I don’t do well with a hard enough time keeping up as it is…and I luvs ya! ❤

        • well, i don’t celebrate Christmas, but thanks for thinking of me!

          • My tree is not really a xmas tree..ok sort of…more like a tribute tree…. 🙂

          • So I read your avatar tree post. Um, AWESOME! You can just use one of my pictures from NM premiere if you want 🙂

        • Hey MS, how u been? I emailed you, are you not getting it?

          Miss talking to you. I don’t see you on twitter at all.

          • @southernbelle, No I am not getting your email?? I would have of course answered you…maybe you have it wrong??? If you write to UC/Moon they can give you my email address…I miss talking to you..please write ok!!! 🙂

          • MS I’m gonna try again tonight. I have your email address, you replied so I have it.

            Good night! Happy Robdreams!

  2. Oh, to be a virgin again…

    What I wouldn’t do to get my V-card back. Isn’t there a surgery for that? Maybe a lobotomy? Medically induced amnesia? (sigh)

  3. Welcome to the party Jennifer:

    May I offer some fun advice?

    Check out GQ Rob and Vanity Fair Rob (both editions) asap (including out takes).
    Go slowly though, this is serious (as tweed) stuff and you may give yourself a heartquake.

    Also, to get around the whole “under-age Chris Hansen alert thingy” you may simply opt to watch the New Moon half-naked Jake scenes focusing mainly on his chest and imagining he is already 18, or 25, or whatever works best for you.

    You may find that you start to view things like dumpsters and even hobos in a more sexual way than you ever imagined possible…this is nothing to be ashamed of.

    And watch out for “the tuck”!



    • Good job with the tuck warning. That’s important to warn about for certain.

    • Also when browsing through old posts and there is a link called “the snail”. DON’T click on it! I’m still waiting for Rob to erase that image from my memory.

      • oh good god. why did you have to bring up the snail. i’d almost forgotten about it.

        • Almost. Life will never be the same after the snail.

          • HAHA! I mentioned it last week some time, but no one noticed. Heh.

          • Maybe we should post the link to the snail everyday. Only the real fans survive the snail.
            I am getting myself a “I survived the snail” T-shirt.

          • Really? No. I mean do you really want to walk around with a picture of THAT on your t-shirt? Isn’t it bad enough to have that image in your head let alone right out there in plain sight for everyone to see. Maybe if the t-shirt only had writing on it. Maybe then I’d consider it. It might be good snail therapy actually now that I think on it. I’ll take one in medium please.

          • Ok, what’s the snail? I’ve been here the whole time and apparently missed it :/

            Is it Rob? I can’t imagine anything THAT disturbing about him. Your comments make me wonder though…

    • Thank you, AJ! Trust me, when I first watched Twilight, I saw Rob, and was like “Eh!” Then I discovered GQ and VF. Holy rusted metal, Batman! He’s got my attention. 🙂

  4. Kinda hung up on the big guys eh? That is cool. Which one were you with in the pic? Micky “D” is cool. My wife loves em but Carl’s JR is her fav.

  5. My 31yo sister is a Twivirgin. I got her Twilight and New Moon for Christmas. Actually, I splurged on hardbacks to replace my paperback copies, which I am giving her for Christmas with a leopard print Snuggie. She’ll never know they’ve been read 8 times. If she likes them well enough (she damn well better), I will buy her Twilight the movie and mail it to her. Then I will have someone new to share my snark with. If she doesn’t like them well enough, I can always disown her and uninvite her from all family activities. I’m a b like that.

  6. The other day (when ornament shopping) I found a Christmas ornament that read: “Japser Says Be Merry.” I put this in my facebook status and implored my fb friends (which is a general cross-section of my RL friends and people I went to high school with who just wanted to nosily find out what I was doing and friended me even though they haven’t spoken to me since freshman year, which was quite a few years ago), hoping against hope that someone else would find this funny.

    Only two of my fb friends got it. Fail.

    Leaving facebook out of it, I can safely say that only about 5% of people I know have any idea what the word “Renesmee” means.

    This is why I love all of you, dear LTT readers. I wouldn’t feel normal without you.

    • Only 5% know that Renesmee means “Hell beast”? And that that phrase comes from Riff Trax (“Mornin’ Hell Beast.” “Mornin’ minor character.”)?

      Because I’ve been so involved with other things, like a certain man from London who shall not be name so that he will not come up in google search on this blog and come to realize my trueulterior indentity, I decided to give you these as a “make-up sex” gift. And while it might not be IWL’s 7th day of Christmas (….Clairvoyant Alice…..), it is a little bit better, and a lot more sexier. And not about Jasper.

      He’d take a bullet for you!

      He’d use the bullet on you…indiscriminately.

    • Not surprising. Not surprising at all, Tuesday. Michiana fail.

    • Where did you find the ornament?! so funny.

      Last Saturday night I put “Quil clout lay” as my FB status in honor of someone’s SNL gig. I got absolutely NO thumbs ups or replies. I was so disappointed the next day I gave myself a thumbs up. So sad. Where would I be without all of the Normal people?!

  7. i’ve got a coworker who is slowly becoming “normal”. i might be a good/bad influence. lately every time i work with her, we just talk about the books. there are still people out there!

    and anytime you wanna talk twi, jennifer, you have us! (twitter is a good place to start)

  8. Beautiful letter, and beautiful welcome.

    Welcome to the fold JenKB. You’ll be taking advanced classes in sparkle peens for extra credit in no time.

    • advanced classes in sparklepeens. hahaha. ……where do I sign up?

      By the way, nice to see you again NWH. Missed ya.

  9. I know of these “Twi virgin” people. I am surrounded by them. I know of no one with the sort of dedication (*snort*) that I have. Honestly, if it wasn’t for this blog, I would have moved on by now.

    I have things that I obsess over for a few weeks, then I remember that I have a life and move on. It has been four months! Life is catching up but my pull to this blog and my twitter/skype friends isn’t going away.

    So, welcome Jennifer but be aware of the hours of your life you are about to lose. You will find people that you love. You’ll feel like they could be your best friend but they live in NZ, TX, or OH. They will make you feel awesome and hilarious even though you may just be whiny and annoying (like me). You will start missing your online friends more than your real ones.

    These are not bad things. You should just be aware of what is about to happen. I wasn’t BUT I wouldn’t change it for the world.

    Muah! Heart you guys! 😀

    • None of them live in FL/OR? I suspected as much about you. I am a bit stung, but I suppose if that’s how you feel, then that’s what I’ll have to take.

      • Calm down. I couldn’t possibly list the home of every single one of you crazy people. That was only a small sampling.

        Heart you.

        • Yeah, but, but, you just completely ignored me and Tuesday and LPB! I mean, OH, TX, NZ, how hard is it to throw in PacNW and TN? ::tears up:: I look at all your Rob porn and your super cute pics of your daughter. I care. 😦
          Sad. So sad.

          Ok, i’ve calmed down.

          • TS.
            I wrote that at 7:42 on the morning of two finals.

            I obviously love everybody in every town of every state and every country.

            Cut me some slack, woman!


          • I just wanted to post that adorable golden retriever photo. Hope your finals go well.

    • What about us here in Maine…reaching for Edward tissues..oh lord they are all gone again…left with an empty dumpster shaped plaid covered tissue box….think anyone would notice if I just put in purple colored tissues????

    • “You will start missing your online friends more than your real ones”….FUR REALZ!!!
      I have ignored my RL friends so much I will have no one to be with when I go back home…*shrugs* meh! I have u guys and hopefully BFF by then…I can live online for the rest of my life…

      Heart ya Twinsie! Muah! HUGA!

      • Siriusly! Hound comes to town and I’m like, “Well, actually, if you wanted to go out tonight by yourself, that’s cool. I’m gonna be on skype and twitter…”

        • TS…still waiting to find out what Skype is???? Tapping fingers on computer in impatience….

          • Well…i’m a little worried that skype will be too intense for you. It’s overywhelming for me, so I can’t really imagine what it will do to you. We don’t want to damage your further!!!

            It’s an online chat program.

          • @TeamSeth…feeling so left out… sniffle…. 😦
            Plus between cockblock and sparklepeen just how much more damage can you do???

          • Damage like your brain implodes from sensory overload. But you know, you’re soooo more than welcome to join! 😀

          • Happy Holidays everyone…I outta here…. 🙂

          • @Teamseth…just for the record…braind damaged does not mean I can’t learn something new… just takes me longer…whatever….

          • Hey, Cyn. I just looked up skype on wikipedia (because I don’t know anything about it)

            What I read was pretty much “blah blah blah blah techno nerd blah blah nerd nerd nerd blah blah blah”

            What I think it means is that skype is a way of texting, voice chatting, or video conferencing over the internet. I think you have to download something to do it, and it may or may not be free. Let me know if you decide to give it a whirl!

          • “blah blah blah blah techno nerd blah blah nerd nerd nerd blah blah blah” hahaha, good one.

          • I did NOT say you couldn’t learn it. I said it’s super overwhelming and fast paced. It’s like 8 of us squeeing and posting porn and writing fanfic and changing topics every 2 seconds. You leave for 1 minute, you come back and you’re like 20 minutes behind. No joke. Anyway, we’ll get you signed up! 🙂 You just go to and download it. Then tell us what your name is and we’ll add you to the list. No biggie. I’ve wanted to invite you since we started, but I was hesitant.

        • You’ll also start doing things you never would have thought of doing before so you can keep in touch with your online BFFs like taking a laptop on vacation with you and paying through the nose for wifi just cuz you can’t stand going a day without talking to them.

    • Oh, fa-her suuuuuuure. And then next thing you know you’re plotting a US adventure for said friend in NZ and working on coordinating bedazzled denim jackets for Twiventure ’10 with the Skype Room of Shame (similar to hot pocket fort of shame, only online).

    • Awww – TX LOVES OK!

      I, too, think that if it weren’t for finding LTT/LTR and gaining so many new friends I might not have fallen quite so deep into this rabbit hole.

      Now that I’m down here at the bottom, however, I don’t want to be anywhere else. It’s so peaceful here, drinking my little bottles . . . looking at unsettling/enthralling manips of Edward and Jacob (sans Bella *ahem*) . . . giggling when I realized that I, too, can recite all the books of the Bible and that showing this skill to Kellan (given the chance) might be the only 1st-hand embarrassment I would ever video and proudly submit to this site.

      At least I know if I’m going to hell, I’m going to do it thoroughly and in good company. Cue Band of Skulls – *Friends.*

  10. Well, Jen, since you identified your pout as petulant, you’re obviously not crashing the prom, rather just coming w/ your invite and no date. Dates are overrated anyway. They just take away from the night.

    Welcome! We love you already (just don’t mack on Taylor because you might get cut…not by me. But you’ll learn all that too.) MUAH!

    Also, GOING TO SEE NM TONIGHT (again, and Cyn, your 3 times rule no longer applies because you’ve already seen it in theater) WITH MY BOYFRIEND! YAY!

    And, UC, on Roblosophy’s essay question (assuming that it’s actually Dan or Bewley or Burke, or Michael Sheen’s eyes–just the eyes), I would divide the group in half, stick them into separate rooms, lock the doors, and put on disney movies. Perhaps even call it a scientific study and write a fake essay on it later to sell to Child Psychology Journal. I think that would work. Then again, I don’t really like kids anyway.

    • Whose gonna cut her if she macks on Tay? Should I be worried too? *shifty eyes* Being Team Taycob is geting dangerous *slinks away into forest wearing camo Shworts* 🙂

      • I got your back ILWL…but we must be nice to Jen…she will understand soon enough…trust…but then again…she better leave Eddie to me…she can have Rob…but I am certainly somewhat crazy when it comes to Edward….

      • Not to worry, IWL. She’ll learn soon enough. I’m a serious Taycob lover (calm down Chris H, that’s not what I meant……..or did I?) but I know my boundaries when it comes to you. 🙂

        • Oh noes!…maybe I should tone down the love…I seem to be scaring people and that makes me sad 😦
          I’m just a little Hamster with an unhealthy love for baked goods and future BFF Tay…I’m such a bad fangirl that I wouldnt even talk to him if we were trapped in a lift together LOL
          When did I become this scary, posessive, “Tay is mine so back off” person? I’m intrigued…cause there’s loads of Taycob lovers…U included WKK… 😀

    • Your safe TS to go to NM as much as you want…the rule no longer applies as I am (guilitingly..I know I made up that word I think) watching it almost nightly along with Twilight..although I can’t wait for the DVD so I can REALLY see it….
      BTW..which Avatar would you prefer on the tree???

  11. Welkom Jennifer and all the others! Don’t be too shy to comment. I was a newbie too once and everyone is really really nice. The comments section is a crime-free zone since the day TammyO got arrested. when is the trial btw?

    I think mainly in Europe there are plenty of Twivirgins. Our city just recently got its first shop with a merch wall (and I know these things). Maybe you could add a permanent LTT/LTR dictionnary on the website? Your links in the posts to previous posts used to help me a lot in the beginning too.

  12. Don’t worry, JenKB, you probably aren’t as alone as you think you are. I thought I was more or less alone up here, then one day my neice announced how excited she was to see New Moon. I had no idea! About a month after that my cousin was all disappointed because she thought my Harry Potter calendar was a Twi calendar. There’s another!

    Some of us are just too shamefaced to be loud and proud with it. But have no fear, you will come to notice that you now have Twilight radar and you’ll find some Twi-buddies before long.

  13. This is my first time commenting on here. I read your post daily and follow on twitter, but felt to foolish to ever comment. I have recently de-virginized a co-worker with the books and movies. She had religiously told me she hates reading, that she wouldn’t even read in high school when assigned a book. But I showed her a glimpse of the hottnes of New Moon and I loaned her my extra copy of Twilight (Yes I do have 2 copies), and now she is just as obcessed as me. She is the 4th person I have pulled into Twilight, since I became obcessed 16 months ago. I will continue to spread the Twilight word till I have converted everone and then we will gater round and sing a chorus of how to make a kitty MEOW! LOL Love LTT anf LTR it’s been great so far! Happy year anny!

    • Welcome Staci and well done with 4 converts! You are ahead of me.

      I am always suspicious of people who ‘hate reading’. What do they do in their spare time?

    • Welcome Staci 🙂

      I love that you have en exstra copy of twilight!!!

      I too have been reading LTT every day, but was kind of slow on getting into the commenting thing – but now I just can’t seem to stop:-)

      I really hope you’ll have as much fun here as I do:-)

  14. I have a niece who is turning 12 soon.

    Just a few more years….

  15. Oh, UC, I forgot to say, thanks for the new Ashley porn!

  16. Reading this made me feel all warm and fuzzy for oblivious little Twi-virgin me being dragged by my ex to see Twilight on that fateful day last December…

    We’re going to see New Moon tonight…only difference this time is that I’ve already seen it 4 times 🙂

  17. Twivirgins are few and far between, but I happen to know one that has just been cured ( yes, TwiVirginity is a disease). She read Twilight followed by 3 viewings of the movie, all within a few days. Then continued on through the saga. Her husband was upset…the house needed cleaned….she hadn’t changed clothes or shower in days (just kidding)…you get the point. I’m just SO proud!

  18. How funny!! I just brought lending copies of Twilight and NM in for one of my co-workers today! I’m hoping she becomes a fan but I don’t have a lot of hopes because she is truly the no nonsense accountant type. Me thinks she is too practical to get swept up. I see thought that JenKB is an accountant so maybe there is hope!

  19. When I started reading this letter I thought someone had hacked into my brain! My first read of the books was also from the library. Because they weren’t available fast enough for me, I would hold the one I had and reread until the next one was available. At the time I thought that was crazy. Now, I know it is Normal.

    • Ang where ya been..sniff…I’been sooo lonely…damn holidays…and all that RL stuff….getting in the way….pretty bad when all I want to do is “get through it all” so I can once again devote and yes it is devotion to my one true love..not the hubs..ok he is…but my 2nd love of being here…and you better get back into the swing of things after the holidays cause I am not sleeping and I need you…. 🙂

      • MidCyn – I soooo love you for missing me. sniff, sniff. Hugs! Yep, the holidays should be a slower time in my workplace, but it has not been!

        But…I feel some late night giddyness coming on soon. I’ll look for you!

    • I got the books from the library at the school where I taught. The library ladies set them aside for me since I was a teacher they let me skip to the head of the hold line. I then assigned all my classes research projects so I could sit in the computer lab with my students and read while they did projects on the computer. I then asked for the books for Christmas so I could read them again (and again) at home. And…thats my coming out story.

      • Wow, you outed yourself at work from the get go! I just told someone that I was accidentally outed at work in front of my boss yesterday by someone I barely know! But bosslady had no idea what we were talking about.

  20. I think Twilight seems so over-saturated because we are all so immersed in it. There are a few people left out there who have no idea what Twilight is.
    I was at a library sale with a friend and there was one copy of Twilight. I told her about it, she bought it and then borrowed the rest of the books from me. Her comment after finishing all the books was “It makes me feel like I’m in love for the first time again.” She knew nothing about the books before reading them. I didn’t either, and honestly, if I had, I probably would’ve scoffed and never have read them.
    I think you either love Twilight or you hate it. For those of us who love it, (sorry this is so corny) it really is a life-changing event. I love the way the books make me feel. And I love having this outlet to discuss all things Twilight; my husband is certainly sick of hearing about it.

  21. Hewwo Jennifer and other Twi-virgins!!!

    *Do not be surprised when u realise that Twilight is your life now…and you will quote it whether people get it or not…cause it’s purple (cool) and green (good)

    *You seem like a Team Edward (awesome!) which means ull have to make ur feelings about the mullet-ed one soon…

    * If u are aTeam Jacob (awesome!) That should keep Hansen off my tail a little bit longer… 🙂

    *You WILL make awesome friends who will make you want to travel to other states and countries in order to attend premiers and crash after-parties…and use crazy pick up lines on underage, over-developed boys…

    *You will do things and say things that will shock you and make u feel so depraved and so dirty that u will sit in a scalding hot shower and scrub urself clean…(or scrub that hot image onto ur skin forever) this is NORMAL!!!

    To all the Twi-pros..I heart you all…U make my life worthwhile….Good Morning!!!
    The Hamster is happy that she has no work today!

    p.s. TS once said my comments are usually “rant rant rant TAY rant rant rant rant GOOD MORNING!” It’s so true…in case u need to know the format LOL

    p.p.s. watched BFF in German “Valentine’s Day” trailer…Hair Grab…that is all…

    • Re p.s. AW! It’s so true, too.

      I’m so glad we’re your enablers…and one day, when you’ve won American Idol (cuz you’re moving here after you graduate and have your traditional Sri Lankan wedding, obviously), LegalTaylor will lightly walk up to you and quietly kiss you the way that Mr. Darcy kisses Lizzy at the end of P&P.

  22. Jennifer,

    Your letter was incredible. I think you nailed how many of us have felt in the past. Even though I am not a Twivirgin (I was deep in the Twicloset), I can totes relate. I still do not have any IRL Twifriends (but I hope that will change soon*) so I have to muffle the squees and swoons and all the other gutteral noises that I make when catching new Rob photos, or when I received my December Maxim in the mail and say Ashley Greene on the cover…

    Welcome to the club!

    (*I need some IRL Twifriends. Like, hardcore. Who lives in Florida?!?!!)

    • Athena,

      I am bummed that I live in AZ. I need some RL twifriends too. Everyone that I have talked to about Twilight has gone running the other way! I am a twi-leper for some reason. You would think that living in AZ, with the queen herself (Stephanie Meyer) I could find some RL twifriends! 😉

    • I live in Florida. I need IRL friends too!!

  23. Jennifer! I have ‘met’ you in the forum. All you gotta do is ask…we are a welcoming group and love to find new, fun, NORMAL friends.

    I personally don’t have ANY Twilight friends that I haven’t met off of here. I am moving home in a couple weeks and my new years resolution is to convert!! They need to AT LEAST read and watch them with me, right? Cause that’s what friends do. They ride out your crazy with you, make fun of you for it and love you forever!!

  24. Ahhh, I remember fondly when my Twi-cherry was popped. I stayed up til 4am before a next-day 8am class to read Twilight AND finish it. I wasn’t even tired the next day! It was like that book breathed a new life into me and gave me energy I’d never had before (I must confess, however, that a friend suggested I read the series and I, while grocery shopping at WalMart, bought JUST Twilight in case it was awful AND kept the price sticker on it in case it was SO bad I might want my money back….hahaha….little did I know what would ensue that night and cause me to rush out at 7am before my 8am class to get the next 3 books because I couldn’t wait!). It’s refreshing to hear that there are still a few people out there who are experiencing the things we all experienced as Twi-virgins. Thanks for this letter! 🙂
    Welcome to our world, Jennifer! As we all say on a regular basis, “That’s Normal!”

  25. Ummm…if none of us admit our obsession in RL, how do we know our RL aren’t infiltrated by other members of the sisterhood (of those who’d like to be in RPattz pants)? Who’s going to out themselves first? NOT IT!

    Jennifer – you’ve found a home. Twilight can cure everything. For example, in case of emergency, just get your fix (that sounds like more of an illicit drug than an antibiotic!). One of my best gals called and is having a hell week so we’re ditching our husbands and kids and taking the movie train to fantasyland tonight. Problem solved.

  26. This is such a timely post girls! This happened today:

    A girl at my work just started Twilighting. (thanks to me!!!) She is nervous to start Breaking Dawn because she “dosent want it to be over” She said she thinks she will be too sad for it to end. I told her dont worry, there are movies, and blogs and all kinds of other things. She said “its just not the same” awwwww

    P.S.- does anyone else ever drive by a forrest and think “I wonder if there are vampires and warewolves in there”? just wondering…

  27. Jen, let me officially welcome you as the I am the perpetual Twi-Virgin…I NEVER get to lose that status which makes me kinda “special” in a not so “special” way…but trust me when I say you can ask anything here…and I mean anything and you will get an answer…now most should come with a warning, but you never get one, and if everyone here can deal with my neverending/repetitive/nonstop questions you will do just fine…
    I am happy to announce that I am about to convert several unsuspecting friends with Twilight related books/gifts etc.., I am determined to get them hooked…and luckily NONE of them will dare say anything cause well they KNOW not to expect me to be great at secretly they will say something like “Poor girl, has NO idea these are teen books/movies etc., but it was nice of her to think of me” and then IT will happen, they won’t even realize until one day when for lack of anything better to do, they will pick up the book, pop in the movie and yes my job is done! Yeah I may have braindamage, but I am not stupid…undercover conversion…..that’s legal right? Normal right?
    Welcome Jen!

  28. I totally feel JenKB. I moved up to Boston about a year ago and have never felt more lonely than I was leading up to the New Moon release. I just wanted to grab someone reading a Twilight book on the subway and say “Hey- be my friend and see NM with me so I don’t have to drag my begrudging husband! We can giggle, cry, and swoon together and promise we can be Twilight BFF’s!”
    But alas, no such luck was had and my husband went- kicking and screaming. I had to sit through three crappy phallocentric movies to make up for it.

  29. I’m both proud and slightly embarassed that I knew all of those references. Welcome, new converts!

    • Anybody,
      Please tell me what the whole “who sings about making a kitty meow” is about? I have some guesses but want all the details.


      p.s. Jennifer, great letter and welcome! If you live anywhere near the state of Colorado I’ll see anything Rob or Twilight related with you.

  30. JenKB, Welcome to the Party!!! Although it may have started a while back, it is still in full swing! With no signs of stopping I might add…..The nice thing about the cool kids like Moon and UC and their disciples is that we take all comers. We don’t care how long you are a fan, or even how hardcore you are. Are you a fan? Do you understand sarcasm? You are in. The more the merrier! Did you bring drinks and snacks?


  31. A girl I worked with was just starting on her quest to loose her Twi-ginity, when I got laid off. She read Twilight and started New Moon right before the movie came out. She was going to start Eclipse this past week. She too was getting them from the library though I offered her my copies. I even bought the paperback of New Moon (love Jacob on the cover) so that I could give her my hardcover. Anyhoo, she was always a good sport when it came to me obsessing over Taycob and she always seemed interested in the pictures I would find online and send her (though I’m pretty sure she’s Team Edward). I saw the midnight show and came to work the next day so excited to talk about it that she went Friday night to watch it. She’s not as obsessed yet as me but I can see that she’s on her way. I just hope now that I’m gone she doesn’t give up because she thinks she has no one to talk to about it, they way I did before her. We still text and email so I’m hoping she finds her way to LTT. I’ve mentioned it so many times. She’ll feel welcomed here just like I did (though it took me months and months to finally comment). 🙂

  32. Hi JenKB…welcome to the crazy! But not the crazy of Pattinson Pants Lady or “heartquake” poetry…this crazy is normal. This crazy is dissecting every minute of the crappy meadow scene in Twilight, the incessant talk of jorts, the fake lesbian relationship we all want with Ashley, the DILF & the Cougwicke and so much more. Get ready to waste hours upon hours on your new found addiction…glad you are here!

  33. I’m not exactly a newbie but since I started reading your jokes about 100monkeys I’ve been curious if they’re a really bad or if you’re just joking, also I don`t understad your jokes about Kellan and all that biblie/accounting thing.

    But i thank you for explaining who Chris Hansen was :p

  34. I have such fond memories about when I was reading Twilight the first time. I too wish I had someone that I could share my acute fondness, with, but alas I do not. My sister is the only one, that I know of that has read the books, but she doesn’t seem to be as attached to them, as I am, and she lives far away.
    This is why I love LTT/LTR so much, I feel “normal” here, and Moon & UC make me laugh all of the time.
    I only other suggestion to new Twilight virgins, is spend time on the Forum here. It is how I found Fan fiction. I must warn you though, if you think that you lost track of time now, wait until you discover fan fiction. Invest in a zip drive to hide evidence.
    “If Rob were to show up in your home right now, but you were watching 10 small children under the age of 5 and not due to be free for another 4 hours, but Rob only had 1 hour to spare, what would you do?”
    I take a stab at this one, and say, “Alright kids, it’s nap time and everyone gets extra cookies and juice, if you stay on your mat, and not come in this room, for the next hour.” Pacifers for everyone!!! Lock door to bedroom, and disable webcam. Wow, this is what I thought of in just a few minutes… Imagine what I could do if I had time to plan…

  35. I asked RL bestie (you know, the one that’s writing a psych paper on the fandom?) if she might want to “get crazy and read Twilight” with me so we could see what all the craziness was about together. She refused. I might have to reconsider who should really be the boys’ godmother.
    P.S. If she’s writing about the fandom, she SHOULD read the books.
    P.P.S. She won’t watch the movies but owns every Tom Green movie ever made. Riddle me that, batman.

  36. Welcome Jennifer – and everybody else new here:-)

    I have reacently lent the twilight movie to a twi-virgin. Even though I really didn’t think she would like it at all – she was hooked.

    Then she wanted to read the books – and I lent them to her, she read them and loved them.

    She is now not so much a twi-virgin anymore.

    Monday night I went with her to see New Moon. And for the first time I got the chance to talk about the NM movie with a “real-life” person – it was great.

    I love that I now have a real life adult person to share my twilight related thoughts with:-)

    My next step is to convince her that she can’t live without LTT 🙂

  37. There are always more people to convert! I’d say all of the easy marks (i.e. you and me! and people like us!) are already firmly in the thick of things; the next wave will have come from people who will require active conversion. It won’t be easy – the leftover untwilighted masses will fight us… But go forth and proselytize! There are non-Twi people out there, and they NEED US! They just don’t know it yet.

    : )

    P.S. I’ve been called a cool kid on LTT – woot! My day is MADE.

    • STY (why do I always want to type SNY?),

      When I read your and JJ’s earliest posts, I about fell out of my chair. I laughed ’til my sides ached. It was from your site (which I now check out daily) that I found LTT/LTR, and I am forever grateful!



  38. WOW!!! Never did I think that when I found LTT/LTR a few weeks ago, that I would see my own letter used in a blog. Thank you, UC!! Thank you also to all of you for all the warm wishes and welcomes. I’m overwhelmed! Truly. I apologize for my late reply. I seem to be one of the few West Coasters.

    I’m definitely excited to be here and have had a similar warm welcome on the forum.

    I look forward to joining in on all the fun, making new friends, and, of course, making plans to see Remember Me and Eclipse in twenty-ten.

    Hugs to all


  39. That was very nice letter JenKB wrote. I think she has one more uncovered area – that is Fan Fiction, unlimited supply :)))

    As for Twilight virgins, I know one, she’s absorbing everthing as I did a while ago.. and I am excited with her and for her.

  40. So I am a big time lurker! i kno I know that is no excuse….So I founf the best way to acclimate to LTT and LTR is to just sit down and read every single post from the last year. You think I’m joking. indeed i am not. That is exactly what I did a few moth ago. Now I check this website before I check my email. Because the Saga (and the ladies who talk the shit) are my reason fro being.

    • yay! Welcome to “out of lurkdom” it’s a marvelous place!

    • I’m still catching up on them all.
      Like cell phones, how did we function before LTR/LTT?!

      • I vaguely recall a time pre-LTT/R. Vaguely. I think it went something like…..empty pages….except for the name of the month……..there’s a poss-i-bill-ittyyyyyy.

        (and of course I mustn’t forget Charlie outside doing seasonal yard tasks….I mustn’t forget cuz if I did TeamSeth would kill me)

  41. WELCOME ANYBODY WHO I HAVEN’T MET! I am Jane Trigs or Janetrigs, or how ever you read it! I love meeting new people, but beware, you better BRING IT and be okay with my #drunktexts #drunktweets and the fact that I sometimes scream FUCKERY for no reason or as a safe word.

    Like Freya-Meya – I am slightly 1st hand embarassed to know all the references in UC’s letter above. But whateves, I love all you bitches!

    • why does “Fuckery” make me think of Harry Potter?…….
      fuckery….fickery…dickery…DIGGORY…yep that’s it. funny how the brain works.

      PS. is fuckery a verb or a noun? Is it more grammatically correct to say “I’d like to fuckery the Diggory” or “The Diggory makes me want some fuckery”?

  42. I have a daily, well I try to make it daily twilight ritual, I read but rarely comment, idk why, on LTT, LTR, and adulttwilightfans( if ur over 18 then get on here and ask to be in on the over 18 forum, there are some interesting things going on there!), then I get my news from bellasdiary and twilight lexicon. Shhh don’t tell my RL friends cause they may look at me crazy 😉

    Ok so I actually know a couple of people who are just starting to read the books, I have a cousin who just finished twilight but hasn’t had time to start New Moon yet, to this I say “what do u mean u don’t have time, just cause u got 2 kids under 3?!” but at least she’s reading them ( I’m so mean cause I wouldn’t let her borrow New Moon, I said I don’t lend out my books cause who knows when I’ll get them back or what kind of condition they will be in, so we bought New Moon for her), another cousin said she would like to read them but also doesn’t have time cause she’s got a 15month old.
    Then there are those who won’t read it cause their guys make fun of the sparkly description.
    Here’s one for ya, My aunt who is a total twi fan and went to the midnight new moon with a bunch of us, ya she read some of the books, yes I said SOME, she decided that she watched the first movie so she didn’t read Twilight, I still cannot get over this and she also hasn’t read Midnight Sun – I mean total epic fail right?! and I have another friend who will do the movies, even the midnight premieres with us but won’t read the books, she has made me and her sister who has read them all, tell her everything, we constantly tell her to just jump on the bandwagon and read them already.

    I may have to go buy me a new Breaking Dawn book cause I had a book tragedy the other day, a can of sprite fell and doused my book, I told my mom what happened and she says, did it get on your carpet? To which I replied, Barely, I wish it had instead of my book!

  43. I just got done begging my BFF to go see New Moon with us on Friday- offered to buy her ticket, Diet Coke, Twizzlers, and popcorn- but she refused. I even had to revert to the heartfelt “you know me and you know that I don’t get all crazy obsessive about stupid stuff” (big emphasis on stupid stuff).

    Is there a guide to convincing others to lose their Twi-virginity and therefore all of their free time?

    I really resisted my Harry-Potter-Loving friend that suggested I read Twilight. Sorry HP fans but I did not want to get sucked up into all of that (which ironically is what nonTwiFans think of us). But then I went through a reading slump and couldn’t find anything good to read so I finally gave in. I also thought it would be a good bonding experience with my friend. For some reason when I read “The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business” I was hooked.

    What was your hook?

    • Keisha,
      You had me at “is there a guide to convincing others to lose their Twi-virginity and therefore all fo their free time?” I need said guide desperately. If anyone can produce such a thing it’s UC/Moon and so many people that post here.

      Since I resisted Twi, too and realize how foolish I was, I am not a lot more open minded about everything, including embracing the homeless. You nevah know…


    • “For some reason when I read ‘The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business’ I was hooked”…
      TOTALLY agree! I love that line. I think that was the moment I completely fell for Edward.

    • I tried to turn my 19 year-old neice onto Twilight, but she says she loves Harry Potter so much and doesn’t want Twilight to compete- I told her there’s enough love in the world for Twilight *and* HP, but she won’t bite 😦
      No RL Twi grownup friends, either (My 14 year-old doesn’t count, because she can’t fully enjoy the twisted rightness that is LTT/LTR!)

  44. I lost my Twi-virginity in July 2009 so I was a bit late to the party as well. I adore this blog though and check it daily although I’ve only commented a couple of times. I love how kind everyone is to each other and how much more normal I feel everytime I come here, not to mention how hard I laugh!

  45. Jen, I hearted you from the very first time we met in the flat! It’s so exciting to meet a new Twilight fan, one who has it all fresh and hasn’t even purchased the books or dvd yet, it’s exciting because I remember what it was like to be all new to it! I never get tired of it so you can talk about it all you want to me! SQUEEE! Welcome to the TwiDom!


    Please, don’t be afraid of our fuckery. LTT/LTR is our little haven in this world of Twilight and we welcome you with open arms to the debauchery and weird world that we’ve created! We have the lovurley UC & Moonie-pie to thank for creating it. There are a bunch of us that have been around for a while (i.e Janetrigs, Freya, BrookeLockart, etc, etc) so feel free to chat with us! We’re all over at Twitter mostly these days, so join us on the crazy train there!

    – M

  47. I didn’t lose my Twi virginity until May this year. Shocking! I think this was the order of my addiction: Read saga, watched Twi DVD, reread saga, took to youtube to check out this Robert Pattinson fellow….spent days on youtube falling in love with Rob, found, and then LTT/LTR. I wish I could remember the first post I read. I do remember being like “Who’s Big Daddy? and what about little bottles??” I quickly caught up. I don’t think you’re ever too late for the party. I’m so glad I jumped in when I did though! What a sh!tty thing it would be to read the saga after all movies were all finished. You would surely miss too many laughs!

  48. it is hard to join the party after it started but i have a feeling this party going to be the mother of all after parties. its hard for me to find a RL friend who is obsessed as i. a few of my friends are peering down the rabbit hole- whilst i am at the bottom looking up. come on down the waters great. i’m a nurse and 2 nights ago i went into my patient’s room to do a shift assessment and totally squeed because she was reading twilight. her husband was rolling his eyes and we were discussing the merits of edward and jacob. very funny.
    last night was quiet at work so i found some of the best robporn videos and sat my team edward friend down. an hour later she was like i can’t watch this stuff at home- its dangerous. i want her to be reading this blog and twitarded daily. i can’t get throught the day without reading these two. i am caught up on twitarded but have a ways to go here. you guys have way to many interesting comments, lol. anyway thanks for welcoming us to the party.

  49. Welcome newbies! And be warned…the Twilight world can be hazardous to your work live and social life. But that’s Normal. And hazardous in a good way.

  50. Hi Jen!
    Remember the forst rule of Twi-Love is that we don’t talk about Twi-Love. Except here…where we squee our heads off even if we were born in the 60’s, sorry 80’s, make that 90’s.

    I just received the ‘shipment’ today that will turn my bff to the sparkle side…she’s seen Twilight the movie twice & already calls me spidey monkey…Mwaaaahahaha.

    Hey, maybe I should make a whole army of newbies…& set them loose on…..hmmm…need ideas please ladies….

    Off to nibble me some fine eyebrow. X

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