Twilosophy: I am NOT the number 1 Twilight fan!

Dear Twilight and fellow LTT-ers,

Recently a girl I sorta know found out about the blogs and asked me “so you’re like the number one Twilight fan, huh?!” and I wholeheartedly and vehemently said NO! No I am NOT the number one Twilight fan cause in my mind number one fan is some crazy lunatic with Twilight tattoos, owns the entire line of tshirts from Hot Topic, sleeps on the sidewalk for days on end…  number one fan brings to mind visions of that show, FANatic on MTV and how some crazy person deemed an artist’s number one fan went apeshit when they met SugarRay or Britney Spears and that’s about the farthest thing from what I’d do if I ever REALLY met any of these people in real life. In reality I’d pretty much look the other way while hoping they didn’t think I was staring at them. Far from having a fangirl freak out or even acknowledging that I know who they are and NEVER ever in a million years mentioning that I write a blog about them or the books every day.

Yup, number one fan, that's me!

But just because I’m not those things that make me think #1 fan does that make me any less of one? Maybe I really am a number 1 fan. I run this blog, I’ve been to more than my fair share of Twilight related events, heck I have business cards in my handbag with this blog’s URL on it… somehow in my mind this does not equate number one fan but to the outside world, aka the rest of the population, who only know Twilight as that thing “the kids are into” I probably look like the biggest fan that ever lived.

I shudder to think!

So what does it all mean? Follow the cut to see what I come up with…

My new wardrobe will consist of only #1's to show my devotion

After I tried to reassure myself the girl that I was in fact NOT the number one Twilight fan I started thinking about why it bugged me so much that she thought that. Does it really matter in the end what other people think of me? Does it matter that people know I’m a Twilight fan or even that I write a blog about it? It’s been a slow year long process of “coming out” as a fan and far more people in my “real life” know about my “secret blog” now that I would have been comfortable with knowing a year ago or even 6 months ago but I’m mostly alright with that now. Sure, I definitely don’t want to be called Twilight’s number one fan but do I like the books, DUH?! Do I love Stephenie Meyer and dream of “running into” her at the grocery store when I’m home in Phoenix over the holidays? Um, DUh! Do I think the Twilight film is Oscar winning material? NO! But do I love it just the same? Yup and there’s no denying that.

This is serious! Like tweed!

Just don’t go calling me a FANatic!

So let’s discuss… what do you say when people ask if you’re a Twilight fan? Would you consider yourself the number one fan? Would that bug you, like it did me?

Need some more Twilosophy? Study up and read all the Twilosophy posts!

One Year later and our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

157 Responses

  1. Yep, it’s would totes annoy me too, Moon!
    My friends now know that I have a blog which though is not Twi-specific mentions it an eff-load. Plus I mention here and other fab Twi sites so I’m sure they know.
    But in public (you know, with strangers) I act all nonchalant when I see something Twi and pretend I don’t know what it is. Example, my inner monologue: “oh what’s this? New Moon soundtrack? Hmmm. I hear it’s quite good.*pick it up, gaze at it uncaringly and place back*”
    Or today mum pointed out a pic of Robsten on a Tweeny mag diary for 2010 and I pretended both not to hear her and not to care because there were people within close hearing range.

  2. I thought that AmanDUH was the number one twilight fan???


  3. I wouldn’t call you the #1 fan. For some reason that always brings up images of crazy people, so I can understand why you would want to avoid that label.

    However, if I find out that you have booked a seat aboard the “Twilight Cruise” that is happening next year, I will call you out as being in the running for #1 fan!

  4. I’m totally with Jayde. I ignore all Twi-related material when I’m near people. When I was in Chapters the other day they had a HUGE New Moon display with Tshirts and board games and blankets and everything. At a book store.
    And people were actually looking at the stuff. I started thinking how I would never be able to actually purchase something like that. My pride would take a total hit, because I try so hard to be nonchalant about the whole thing. That’s what online shopping is for!

    • And Moon, I agree. #1 fan conjures up images of all kinds of crazy.

    • I do the same thing when I see the merchandise in the stores, and when people ask if I’m I fan I just calmly go yea I like it. It’s only when I find out how big of a fan they are and then I let my inner fan girl out to equal their level…

      • “Show me yours and I’ll show you mine”? Don’t out yourself until you know the level of the other person’s Twiluuurrve!

    • I was just at Chapters last night and saw that crazy display! They now have a whole bunch of backpacks with Edward’s head staring out at you on them… so freaky. I walked right past and pretended I didn’t see them. They also have a giant dining-table sized table with about 500 copies of each book right in the middle of the YA section, which is just a bit excessive. I find such a huge display obscene, but I imagine the #1 fan would love it.

      • So do the peanut counters over at the Chapters HQ…and possibly SM and her family and anyone on her ‘staff’ that gets a cut. cha-CHING!!

        • LOL, so true.
          So far at Chapters I’ve seen the following ridiculous merchandise: backpack, side satchel, tshirts with the movie poster splashed across them -not even something 1/2 way clever like Team Edward – (men sizes as well, no less…), cheap bracelets and keychains, tote bags, posters, action figures, etc. I recall last year at the Mall of America Barnes and Noble they were selling the apple-shaped perfume near the books. I wonder if Chapters has tried to stock that yet?

    • Agreed. I may casually walk by it (while looking intent at other books in that section) and check out what they have but there is no way in hell that I am going to buy that stuff in a store! I had to go and look at the action figures to be sure they were worth buying (online). They weren’t. Saved enough money there to almost afford a life-size Edward for my apartment…which I will order online, thankyouverymuch. I may or may not have purchased the Vanity Fare issue at a self-checkout at Wally World…

      • Haha! When I purchased the Vanity Fair issue (which I had THE most difficult time finding) I could SEE the cashier judging me. I could tell by the look on her face.
        In my defense, that actually had nothing at all to do with Twilight and everything to do with the perfection that is Rob on the cover. Hard to resist.

        • It seems like every time I am in Target, there is a Rob or Twilight-related magazine at the checkout. I of course act all nonchalant and casually place it on the checkout with my other purchases. If my husband is with me, he just rolls his eyes but doesn’t call me out until we get in the car where I rip open the bag and pull the magazine out straight to the Rob/Twi pages to look at on the 3 minute ride home. 😉

    • The Walmart (well, it is walmart) by me had a Twilight shrine, I kid you not. There was the posters, along with some framed poetry?! Not really sure what was going on. It was all laid out on a nice red table cloth.

  5. I’m going to be serious for a moment. Not like me, I know. But, I have been bothered by this very question recently.

    One of my friends was moaning and groaning about the “pop philosophy” series of books coming out with a “Twilight and Philosophy” edition. I joined him in the mocking, even though he and I both knew that I read (and <3ed) Twilight. I had small internal conflict, wondering if I should defend Twilight. But, just because I read the books doesn't mean that I have to think that there is rich philosophical content within its pages. (Maybe some points of entry for feminist philosophy.)

    Some people in my life know about my acute fondness. Most don't. But, I think it's okay that I don't really want certain co-workers of mine to know that I am a Twilight fan. I am in a male-dominated field and I have to keep a lot of things in check in order to be taken seriously. Is this right? Not really, but I can't change the way other people judge me or make them understand that there is a difference between the LTT brand of Twi-fan and the Twi-crazy type of Twi-fan.

    On the other hand, I don't really care if friends, family, or even strangers know that I like Twilight. I've never liked the phrase "guilty pleasure" because I don't think I should feel guilty for liking something like Twilight. If someone called me a #1 Fan, I'd probably correct them, because I'm so not even close to being in the running. But am I a Twilight fan? Yes.

    It feels good to say it.

    • I applaud you for this!

    • “I’ve never liked the phrase “guilty pleasure” because I don’t think I should feel guilty for liking something like Twilight.”

      100% agree. I always harp on about how the phrase ‘guilty pleasure’ does not exist in my vocab – I won’t feel ashamed for liking the things I do!

    • Yeah, Twilight is not a guilty pleasure. Guilty pleasures are reserved for singing Styx or watching the Fox Reality Channel when no one is around.

    • I read a comment on a different TW sight the other day from a woman who had read the first book, but didn’t really like it. However, she wanted to defend the women who like these books because she felt they were shamed into thinking there was something wrong with them if they do.

      Her opinion was, why wouldn’t women like these books? Think of the average mom and what her day consists of : cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, laundry, grocery shopping.

      She picks up the Twilight books and is introduced to Bella, who essentially does the same things the moms do every day. Then along comes Edward Cullen who doesn’t want ANYTHING from Bella other than to take care of her. Why wouldn’t women love these books? It’s the perfect fantasy. Don’t feel ashamed.

      Besides, these same men that will criticize you for liking Twilight, are the same guys that will rush out to see Batman and Spiderman movies. Aren’t these based on comic books for boys?

      • I truly hope you didn’t bash batman with that comment, ’cause if you did i might have to “thumbs down” on it. and that is serious… TWEED serious!

        Of course I love Twilight… would I be on this awesome blog if i didn’t? Yes, I probably would, just because of its sheer awesomeness.

        Is it possible to love both a AWESOME movie like Batman (uh, Christian Bale, anyone?) and a awful/kinda good movie like Twilight and New Moon? ABSOLUTELY!

        I guess my point is: DON’T hate on the Twilight saga or Batman.

        Aaaand scene…

        • No, I wasn’t bashing Batman or Spiderman!
          I actually like them both, too. (I may have watched them more than once or twice.)

          My point was just that guys love to hate on Twilight and try to make us feel stupid. Sure we love the sparkly vampires, but they love a guy who dresses up in a bat suit.
          Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones 🙂

          • AMEN! I still laugh thinking about the vid of Kevin Smith calling out a dude in a wookiee suit for making fun of Twilight…I gotta find that again..

          • OH yes please @same, that would be awesome. I wholeheartedly agree.

          • @same – get that link up here, I’d love to see that! Gotta love Kevin Smith!

          • Guys criticize practically anything women are really interested in. Seriously. Next time a guy makes fun of you for being interested in Twilight, feel free to bash his interest in sports. People spend an awful lot of time debating, watching and commenting on sports….which is purely for entertainment just as Twilight is.

          • I couldn’t do youtube search at work, but I finally found it. I don’t know how to post a link either, but it’s at
            He actually refers to spock making fun of thw wookiee but itsk in defense of Twilight. F-bombs and some indelicate language so don’t watch if you’re easily offended. The whole beer store thing is just hysterical though…

          • @same OMG – I’d only seen a little of that clip before. That’s was effin’ hilarious. Esp. the part where he’s talking about Rob Pattinson and hoping he’s getting a lot from the cougars. lmfao!!!!!!!!

          • @same – HA! That clip is AMAZING.
            “I’ll make you glisten and shimmer!” WIN! I’d give anything to hear Rob say that to me one day!

    • I’m sorry, I know this is terrible to say because you have a very serious comment here…but I almost didnt get past the first paragraph because when I read the word “bothered” I started smirking all over and thinkin of those Rob Bothered videos!

      But, I do agree with you about fan-dom and I would not be scared to admit to friends and family that I do like Twilight. Number 1 fan? Not so much. Fan, yes!

  6. My husband has willingly watched both movies with me plenty of times. Sometimes he even informs me of twi-news before I know about it (which disturbs me)

    Recently at a party when all of the guys were talking about how they did not understand why women loved “that ugly twilight vamp guy” my husband even defended Rob, and asked the other guys when THEIR calenders were coming out.

    But when he took myself and my best friend to see New Moon, he approached the ticket booth and said:

    “uh..yeah..three for that vampire chick movie or whatever”

    I love my closet unicorn.

    • Your husband sounds awesome! Can I have him? Or at least borrow him from time to time?

    • That’s one high quality hubby there.

    • *applauding AJ’s DH*

      I can just picture it “Oh, so you guys have calendars coming out. That’s great” just like in NM when Bella says “Oh, so you guys have girlfriends. That’s great”.

    • That’s awesome!!! I love your husband!! 🙂

    • Wait a minute…you sound a little too like my good friend and her husband…I wish I knew where you lived. I have a friend in KC that shares my Twilove but I always tone my interest down to her level. Her husband did that exact thing when we three (my husband wouldn’t go) went to see it. Hmm…

    • Funny! My husband would say “Who’s that”? He hasnt seen either movie with me in the theatre. He saw Twilight when me and TeamSeth got the DVD and made a Twi movie night without his knowledge. He came home from work to our 12 year old sqees!

  7. All I can hear in my head right now is Annie Wilkes from Misery saying creepily “I’m your number one fan!”

  8. I am a Twilight fan. If you know me, you probably know this. It is expected. I love almost ever book I read. While I don’t have t-shirts proclaiming my love, I do have a four year old that will out me in two seconds.

    I don’t really give a flip if people know I like it or not. If they hate it, fine. I may be like “spark-ly boys r hawt” but then I will shut up. I have never cared enough about what others think to hide what I love.

    Sure, the books suck sometimes and the movie really sucks sometimes, but when I love something, I love all of it. Even spider monkeys or little bottles. Even stutterty, blinking Bella. Even poodle wig. I can’t help it. I’m the worlds worst critic.

    BUT you won’t catch me with a “meadow scene” umbrella. Ever.

  9. I really think that that true problem with being called a “fan” is, as it has been said before, that it conjures images of crazy, screaming, stalking people that can’t seem to have a life outside of an specific subject.

    Now, that being said, would we really mind being called the “#1 fan” of something if it evoked something else?

    Let’s say for a moment that a true fan is someone that vents out their crazy love in a venue such as this, but if ever encountered with a RL situation (such as meeting the actors, author, or seeing merchandise), said fan would behave as properly (and as nonchalantly) as possible.

    In that situation, I doubt ANY of us would truly mind being called a fan of something ^^

    Sorry for the long rant (and sorry if there’s a incorrect conjugation over there… English is not my mother tongue, :D)

    • That’s OK, Moonbun- native English speakers (such as myself) don’t even know what an incorrect conjugation is.

  10. If people ask if I’m a Twilight fan I say yes but that doesn’t stop me from requesting gift receipts when purchasing books, soundtracks, or movies!! (In my defense, the last time I bought something Twi-related – Eclipse in paperback – it really was a gift. Unlike the time before which was Twilight in hardcover and my third copy – I have needs.)

  11. I actually tell my hubs before we go out with friends that if Twilight comes up he can not out me. Because one time, he went on a tirade about it when this woman brought up that she had read the books one time. And hubs goes all Tom Cruise on the couch professing my love for Twi and I am trying to play it off. Like, oh, silly boy, I don’t know what he’s talking about and does anyone need another drink?
    My family does know that I like Twilight (a lot) and most of my friends know that I like it. No one knows the level of like that I have (which is like like, which we all know is really love). Shhh, don’t tell, k?

    • It comforts me to know that someone else had that same conversation with their husband, regarding Twilight. I remember right before the DVD was coming out, and they were running ads like crazy on TV. My husband teased me about it , when an ad came on, in front of his family, and I had to pretend like I didn’t know what he was referring to. (I was a very new fan then, and was not ready for anyone to know)

      I work with only three people, and they do know that I like Twilight, but are nice enough to not tease me about it. My two closest friends and my sister know that I’ve read the books, but do not know just how much I love them.
      My husband now has an understanding that Twilight is something that I like to keep for myself. He is definitely reaping the benefits of my acute fondness for Twilight and Rob, so he “gets it.”

      Thanks to Moon and UC for making me feel “normal”, about just being a fan, though not #1.

  12. I love those fingers guys they are cool. So is the tee shirt. Maybe everyone should see Robe wearing those shirts and the fingers with number one and wave them at him. Now that would be cool. Maybe even do a wave with them.

  13. There are only a select few people in my world that know of my devotion to Twilight. My bestfriend doesn’t even know because I am sure that she wouldn’t ‘get it’.

    So if someone outside of those select few called me a ‘#1 Twi-fan’ I’d probably call them a liar and laugh in their face. My relationship with Twilight is like ‘The Breakfast Club’. Twilight is the nerd and I am the Prom Queen. Yeah…it’s cool to buddy up in detention, but I will not acknowledge you in school on Monday.

  14. I’m officially out as a Twilight fan. It got too hard hiding the fangirl squees from friends and coworkers. Some of them don’t know my love Twi runs as deep as it does, but my closer friends do-I confessed it all soon after New Moon came out and we were all drinking. I needed to desperately disect the movie and also go see it again. Unfortunately, me coming out to them didn’t garnish any talk about the movie or even get them to go back and see it with me. All it got was questions. Lots and lots of questions. How many times have I seen Twilight, have I reread the books, etc. Things to them that are “crazy”, but to me are just normal. I’m okay with all of it now. They know I love Twilight, so what? I did keep one secret, though and it’s these blogs-this would probably freak them out. Haha…one confession at a time, people.

  15. Considering that after all my rants about our future BFF-dom,the fact that I wont even cross the road to say hi to Tay shows that I am NOT a number one fan…of Tay and everything Twilight.
    At times i feel inadequate when I read all the “loveeee’s” and “cuteeeees” on other blogs…I mean multiple “E’s”? If that doesnt say #1 Twi fan I dont know what does…
    Also the amount of girls married to theTwi-boys are ridiculous!!! Polygamy is a crime people…and by wearing “Mrs. Pattinson” on your boobs u only remind him of his mother… u really want that? i mean REALLY?
    Morning everybodeeeeeeee!!!!
    The future Mrs. Cookie Lautner

    • “wearing “Mrs. Pattinson” on your boobs u only remind him of his mother…”

      Oh, Illegalwolflover – I love you for that!!

    • …I mean multiple “E’s”? If that doesnt say #1 Twi fan I dont know what does…

      Supreme! IWL you’re awesome as! You and the other non #1 fans have even made me forget my BA induced nightmare.
      Sparkle out!

  16. (here’s my daily comment)

    MOON! You have business cards w/ the site on it?!!! Now THAT is cool, and totally normal… since you are a joint manager on a Twi-blog. (anybody else out there w/ Twi-business cards? Then you’d be vying for the top “fan” spot)

    But as to the concept of being a “fan”… hmm… well “fan” is just an abbreviated form of the word “fanatic” and that conjures up the stigma of being extremist… we do NOT all fit that description. (ahem, Pattinson Pants Lady and anyone who would get permanent “Twilight body art” done) (notice i said “permantent body art” lick ‘n’ stick tats for a Twi-event, totally normal 😉 )

    So maybe we should all condiser expanding our vocabulary. LTT gals bring “classy” to the Twi-world and so I think we should term ourselves Aficionadas.

    After all we can’t deny that we all, obviously, know way too much Twi-related info to be just casual, run-of-the-mill readers… and just b/c we may not all want to “advertise” the degree of our Twi-love, doesn’t necessarily mean we’re ashamed of it.

    Yes. If I had any say-so in the matter I would officially dub us “Twilight Aficionadas”. (you can quote me on that, and put it on a tee… or maybe just a bookmark) 😀

    Have a happy hump-day & e-hugs to you all! (yeah I know, I said “hump”, but you know I mean Wednesday!) MUAH!

    • teehee U said “hump” (I’m in a 12 year old mood today)
      *hides wolfpack tattoo and then realises it’s rubbed off on her hand* OK I’m STILL not a #1 fan…

      Ambushed, by limiting urself to one comment per post, ure denying me and the rest of us ur brilliance in the form of reply comments…YES I am pushy…and YES I miss you…and NO i dont want to admit that I would rather have one comment than no comment at all…*pouts*
      I hope ure having a good day…
      Muah!!!! 🙂

    • Aww happy to “see” you here. Today, I was in all honesty, going to announce my “strike” against your not posting by refusing to comment myself anymore until you came back in full force…(which would make some very happy.) But as long as you continue to comment I too will stay but post sparingly…
      As for today’s topic:
      I am a not a FAN…I am a greatful, appreciative and happy “enthusiast” of almost all things Twilight. I am proud of it and I don’t care who knows. I wear my Tee shirts proudly, I cuddle (too much and kinda weirdly) with Blanket Rob, and yes I contemplated a Twilight tree (I have several tree’s around the house with different themes so it was not going to be the MAIN tree) but nonetheless, it is celebration time and I celebrate Twilight for so many reasons, most of you know all the reasons so no need to be mention them again! So if asked, I will tell, that I love Twilight and I am a Twilight “enthusiast”! (Besides my mouth works faster than my brain) allowing my true feelings to come out at will…
      I am not even embarrassed (ok I am) that I asked for a pocket Eddie for xmas…
      I would NOT stand in line for days, I would not “drop” at the sight of Rob, (I am in love with Edward) and I would not tattoo anything…especially at my age…tattoo’s tend to lose their definition on saggy skin…trust!
      At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter, I am sort of lucky…sort of..because I can get away with anything crazy….cuz… well ..I am!!! 🙂

      • “Aww happy to “see” you here. Today, I was in all honesty, going to announce my “strike” against your not posting by refusing to comment myself anymore until you came back in full force…(which would make some very happy.) But as long as you continue to comment I too will stay but post sparingly…”

        You post as much as you want! Don’t punish the rest of us by going away! We’re still here with you.

  17. Deny. Deny. Deny. My best friend from high school ran across this site a few weeks ago while doing research for her psychology class (I know, right?). So she sees “sparklecakes” and starts the Spanish Inquisition because “who else would give themselves a nickname you earned in college?” After I said, “Well, apparently in this series the vampires sparkle, so that might explain it.” she backed off.
    I don’t like talking Twilight to anyone I know in real life, and that includes my mother who actually read the books and thinks the movies are ok. Why? Because my mother is 47 and says decidedly inappropriate things about Taylor and sometimes I want to call Hansen.
    My RL friends would never let it go if they knew that I sit on Skype some nights with 9 other girls from this board and spout off all things inappropriate about Twilight.

    • That’s why we need to have a family reunion, so we can unabashedly squee together in RL.

    • OMG, you were almost busted by your name!! Someone posted the other day using my real name and I was thinking: ‘uh oh, what if someone thinks that’s me?’ (my RL name is not very common)

      I was almost outed on this site the other day by my photo!! But no one in RL saw it, or are too polite to ask….


  18. I want a LTT/LTR business card! Do I have to do some sort of twi-related business with you??

  19. I am not hiding my esteem for Twilight, but I don’t broadcast it either. I think there needs to be an indepth knowledge of Twilight that borders on stalker to be considered the #1 fan.

    PS. I just called my boss Rob (his name is Bob, so it was close) and he is talking to me about little bottles. And he’s asking why I am giggling.

  20. Everyone has mentioned my feelings on this subject: I am a fan, and I am proud, but I don’t broadcast it readily. There are a few friends of mine who are still in the Twi-closet and I have an inkling that if I were step up I could get them to come out for me.

    But for now I’ll just stick to my muted love!

  21. A. “I read the books. They were a fun little summer read. And that Robert Pattinson (sometimes, I say Paterson for good measure) guy is kinda good looking.” = My mantra

    B. I think the Twilight Tattoo post was the first LTT I ever read. Now that New Moon is out…may I suggest “FacePunch!–Let’s Do This!”, “They’re Not Bears!” or “What a Marshmallow!” for the next round of awesome things to have burned onto your skin forever and ever until you die?

  22. Whether I wanted to or not, I outed myself last week while filling out medical insurance forms for Couple’s Counseling. My primary care physician is Dr. C. Meyer and I wrote ‘Dr Stephenie Meyer’ on the form. Funny thing is…. I didn’t even realize it!!! My husband looked over and asked ‘Did you just write ‘Stephenie Meyer’ of Twilight as your Doctor???’ Just then, our Therapist came out of the office and heard what he said. Needless to say, there was some Twilight talk at our first session…

    • I hate to ask–were you in couples therapy in the first place because of your Twilight obsession? I ask because you wouldn’t be alone–this may be my future!

    • Haha- no…. however, the Hubs did bring it up in our session many times, in a very mocking way. Too bad for him our therapist is down with the Twi- we ended up discussing the New Moon movie for about 5 minutes!

      Interesting, somewhat on-topic comment: I’m very cautious about outing myself as a TwiFan to people that I know IRL, but on here, seemingly have no qualms about confessing my marital strife my first time commenting. That’s normal, right?

  23. I’m a total twi-hard! Not the crazy kind, but an official fan and I admit it to anyone whether they think I’m crazy or not, LOL!

  24. I find myself hiding my Twilight fandom a lot! Like when the babysitter (who was 17) walked in my house peeked in my office and saw my New Moon wallpaper on the PC and said “Oh! I’m like a huuuuge Twilight fan!” I just ignored her and said something like “We’ll be back at eleven….my cell number is on the fridge.” My husband made fun of me all night.

    I find myself hiding the things I like all of the time because it’s not what other people will approve of or think that I “fit the mold”. Yesterday I was rediscovering AFI in the car and was blaring Miss Murder when I came to a stop sign. Two teenagers on the sidewalk started to stare so I turned it down and slid down a little in my seat. I am such a follower….

    I think the number one Twilight fan is def someone like Pattinson Pants Lady. I think it’s fair to say that no one wants to be grouped in with her. Or Amanduh. Ick. And I really, really, really hate the term TwiMom. Just because I am over 17 and I have kids and like Twilight please don’t put me in that category! ‘Kay? Thanks.

    • Hey, don’t knock the Pattinson Pants Lady (now known as the Cullen Capris Lady), she was here not too long ago and she’s cool! Twilight fanaticism–it’s a spectrum, from full-on fangirling to the slightly interested, and we all fit in there somewhere, whether we’re “out” or not . . .

  25. I agree that there is a certain level of crazy associated with the term #1 fan, and of course, Moon, you and UC are completely Normal, so whatevs. It is kind of that thing where a few people ruin it for everyone, when the media focuses on Rabid Teens and ‘Twi-moms’, it makes the rest of us pause before we decide if we are ready to fly our freak flag or not….Most people know that I loved the books when I read them, and that I think the movies are especially awesome. They have no idea that I read and comment on a Twilight related blog everyday…..

    I find that if I get put in the position of having to defend my acute fondness, that you can usually point out something dorky the other person is into. Let the person without a weird obsession with something cast the first stone, or something like that……

  26. I’m kind of new here but this post just reiterates why I “feel so at home” here. I couldn’t agree more!

    Sure I put on a cool exterior when I walk by the FYE store at the mall with the Edward cut out in the window but inside I’m a fangirl mess. Of course since coming here now I think “Tweed is serious!” but That’s Normal, right?

  27. Totally bugs me when people say that I am a #1 fan too. I send them the quote from your blog (which may be self defeating) where I give my nasty opinion on Ms. Meyer’s beautiful writing skills, and the oddness of SUCKlight. I’m like, SEE–I have opinions that show I am not the #1 fan. But as I’ve explained to Brookie, sometimes I am even more critical of the things that I really like.

    Yes, keep in mind that this is all coming from the chick that did the Dramatic Reading of New Moon, at a Xmas party Talent Show this past weekend. But you know what?? I don’t care! When people have all these misconceptions and assumptions about me and the Twiness, I tell them about the 20 some odd women that I have met (in Real Life), befriended, and created a bond–even if the bond exists because we all stick together to prove we’re not FANatics!

    Fuck, When’s the last time I wrote so much?

  28. I would hate being called a #1 fan… or even a fan, quite frankly, because of the certain reputation fans have.

    My way of explaining why I read the books and enjoyed them is kind of ridiculous. I went to a pretty snobby university, which gave me virtually no practical skills for the real world but did give me the ability to debate and dissect practically anything in a haughty and stupidly philosphical manner.

    So when friends, family, etc., say, “oh you are a fan of those Twilight books, huh/eh?” I tend to launch into a speech about how it is an interesting/curiously unique representation of modern feminism and the plight of modern women… how Edward, the vampire, is the archetype of a male hero/protector, how the vampire itself has evolved in this series to better reflect changes and modernization of modern society, how the inclusion of the Queilutes fits into post-colonial theory, etc. That usually tends to throw them off.

    Yes, I do actually do this…especially when I get the attitude, “why would YOU read THOSE books?” As if people expect that I am above reading Twilight and doing so knocks me down a few rungs on the ladder of intellectual or professional credibility. That’s what kills me. I have decided the best way to maintain my street cred while admitting I have read/enjoyed the books is to launch into this defensive that involves taking Twilight to a higher level, that I read it just out of intellectual curiousity in order to better understand the “masses”. Then I often feel compelled to add the disclaimer that I read Tolstoy immediately after finishing the series. (Which is true.)

    But why the #$%^ do I have to explain my motives for reading Twilight? Why can’t I have read the series and just plain ol’ enjoyed it without any kind of excuses? That’s the problem with being a fan of this set of books/movies… you either better have a REALLY good excuse for having read it, moreso for enjoying it, or you’re an insane fangrrrl or a washed-up woman who is embarassingly desperate to hold on to her youth.

    This – LTT – is the only place in the world I actually feel comfortable being my fangirly self! The truth is I read the books in 2007 because I saw a little feature on the books on a morning news program (that program before Good Morning America comes on). I had seen the books in the bookstore before but never picked them up. I bought Twilight that weekend and gave it a shot, and loved it. I passed a blissful September reading and re-reading the books and waiting anxiously for Breaking Dawn. I enjoyed it. That was the only reason I read it. It just so happens it became very, very popular a little later and some of the craziest fans are the most vocal and the most representative, it seems, of Twilight fans in general. I wish I didn’t feel compelled to have to explain myself all of the time for liking this series, but I do. That’s the way it is.

    Thanks for reading my super long post 😉

    • confession: I didn’t actually read it all. I skimmed. But I also agree with it. So I gave you a thumbs up.

    • From the outside, with Twilight there seems to be no fan middle ground. There are two extremes: hate the franchise or LURV it like seriously!!!11! and OME, it completes me!11!!

      Why can’t we just have read the books and enjoyed them? Why should we have to justify ourselves for enjoying them?

      Is it the #1 fans’ fault that the rest of us are automatically assumed to be part of their camp because we happened to enjoy the books and the movie(s)?
      Or is it the fault of the others, aka non-fans for being so narrow-minded/judgmental/snobby and assuming that all fans of Twilight are nutters?

      Either way, you know the old adage about assumptions: they make and ASS out of U and ME.

  29. I admit I’m a twilight fan but i think I would get offended if they called me the number 1 fan. I have a whole list of counterexamples to tell them I am by no means the number 1 fan, let alone in the top 100. I can tell them stories of people that i’ve read about in the twilight online universe that will make them think afterwards, “She’s not that crazy, well maybe her actions are normal.” I will gladly tell them, “Yes, That’s Normal.” =)

  30. You are actually *better* than a “number 1” fan — because (as you said) you would most likely treat the actors with respect if you ever met them. And, conversely, I don’t think being a screaming fan-girl makes you a “number 1” fan either. It just makes you nuts. So, yeah, I guess I’d like to believe that those of us who run blogs, and have conversations about the books and movies are “better” fans than the screaming fan-girls. But I’m just being a snob 😉

  31. so i will admit to being a fan and way over the age of anything with the word teen attached to it. its also safe to say that if you know me personally, you know that i love love love me some Twilight.

    but i dont have a tshirt, nor a pocket size Ed “action figure.” I do have a calender that i refuse to take out of its plastic wrapping sitting on my desk. and maybe there’s a lifesize EDLOVE cutout in my office that my coworker and I say hello to every morning.

    but let me share with you my LITA-osophy on all things – even those having nothing to do with Twilight.

    its directed towards all the naysayers in life so brace yourself:

    if you aren’t feeding, financing, or fucking me, why should it even matter what you think?? it makes me happy.

    so try to get over your guily feelings. if you it makes you happy to like all things Twilight, then be happy.

    who cares what the fuck other people think?

  32. I had a much easier time hiding my Taylor and Twilight love BEFORE the promotional wagon rolled out for New Moon. It was so hard not to get excited with everything that was on tv and/or talk to anyone that actually asked me a Twi-related question. Luckily though, not many people I know have read the books. Mostly it was my co-worker and I that fangirled together. Not #1 fan and I’m DEFINITELY okay with that. 🙂

  33. The thing about Twilight, is that it seems to have started a whole new type of fandom in a way. You gals mentioned recently on LTR that our age group/intelligence, etc. puts us in a different category than outsiders would expect. And because Twilight has been soo successful, it’s changed the face of what it means to be a fan of it.
    #1 fan definitely brings to mind the crazy, but now, to an extent, just being a normal fan of Twilight, brings to mind the #1 crazies for any outsiders.

    At least that is what I have found to be true in my RL. As such, whenever my appreciation for Twilight is found out, I definitely defend myself first with some disclaimers and then try to defend Twilight by sort of downplaying it and attempting to explain the appeal; always in a rational manner and without mentioning any sort of #1 fan shenanigans.

    This has got me thinking though….could there be a hint of ageism and sexism against the franchise because of the fandom? I mean, I don’t hear much disdain from everyday peeps for the hardcore Trekkies, Star Wars fans, or even for the Harry Potter apostles (I’m a fan of all of these too, FTR). But for Twilight, who’s target audience is teenage girls (and don’t get me wrong, they can be hella-annoying), there’s all kinds of disdain for; and likely a lot of those people throwing stones have no idea what it’s about at all. They just don’t like it, simply because a bunch of teenage girls do like it. They assume if teens like something THIS much, surely it must suck, because what kind of taste level could a teenage girl possibly have?


    Was that too serious? 😉

    • gah, who’s should be whose.

    • I have a theory that it’s a form of sexism. The thing is, Harry Potter, Star Trek, and Star Wars, are all equally as appealing to men as to women. There are just as many men, maybe a few more, than women who are fans of these franchises.

      What sets Twilight apart is that it can appeal to an extent to men, but only to the extent that any other generic movie or book could potentially appeal to men. Hardly any men are involved in the “fan” base category. Virtually no men are what anyone would consider “obsessed” (that we know of.)

      Yet, here’s this Twilight phenomenon, that has smashed box office, DVD, and bestseller records. It’s permeated our society and driven all kinds of business and retail numbers. Suddenly, this thing that appeals to virtually only women, is a huge part of our culture. What does that mean??? Does that mean, heaven forbid, women actually have power over culture and society???

      So men – and women for that matter – fight back the only way they know how to in such an unusual, nerve-wracking situation that threatens to flip the balance of our world upside down. They mercilessly mock and rip the books and the movies apart in order to demean anyone who genuinely enjoys them; to write it off as some sort of silly, airheaded, immature fad, and that intelligent people -intelligent women- should know better than to enjoy. Women should be above these little teenybopper things! If they’re not – think of how silly and stupid women are! They definitely are not rational!

      And thus the status quo can go on.

      • I think you’re right. And it’s interesting too, because often a lot of the biggest criticism of our type of fandom here – intelligent, mature women – is by other women….fanatical feminists? I don’t really care if guys don’t get it…I don’t really expect them too. And I don’t care if not all women get it either, but to criticize those who do?

        We are made to feel guilty for enjoying the books; women of our age should be above such silliness. I’ve heard some “feminist” discussions on Twilight and how it sets a bad example for young girls in terms of healthy romantic relationships. While I don’t disagree with that, I find it terribly ironic that in attacking the series for being “anti-feminist” so to speak, while so many different women love it, has backfired and only serves to feed the cultural backlash against Twilight, for the very reason that so many women love it.

        Even if it is “silly” to like the story, we’re allowed to be silly, damn-it!
        Why deny the part of us the story appeals to? Wouldn’t denying that feminine part of us, truly be sexist?

        • I am with you! Some women are insecure about other women enjoying things like Twilight. These insecure, occassionally so-called “feminist” women are the worst enemy of women in general. They damage us as a whole by contributing to the stereotype/perception that all women are immature, irrational, etc. because many women enjoying something like Twilight. As a response, any woman who does enjoy Twilight no longer feels free to enjoy so and is apologetic, lies about to what extent they enjoy it, feels guilty, etc. (re: all other comments here).

          They add insult to injury by pointing out how anti-feminist Bella is. Although I agree her relationship with Edward and Jacob shouldn’t exactly be used as a real-life healthy example for anyone, (although who inferred most women – or teens for that matter – were thick enough to actually base their entire relationship and life choices on a book character?) I find Bella is not “anti-feminist” because she makes her own choices – sometimes very difficult ones. She chooses to help her dad by cooking for him, chooses to change species for a guy, chooses all of these things. Why is that so anti-feminist?

          Anyways. I hope Stephenie Meyer is reading our comments today because I know this “anti-feminist” point has been thrown in her face a number of times and I hope she knows, like we do, that people who use those sorts of arguments just do damage to “feminism” rather than good. The intelligent/powerful/hot/sexy women over here on LTT know better. 😉

          • Operarose,
            Please let me know if you wanna see an article written by a feminist and book critic from the Washington Post. Gist of it is: some feminist critics hoped to rip the book, and once they read it, the same thing that happened to us, happened to them. It’s a great article. Thanks for mentioning the feminist angle.

          • Sure I definitely do!

      • Maybe this might be more appropriate to point out over on LTR, but here I am anyway, the other driving force of the popularity of the franchise, named Robert Pattinson, also seems to appeal almost exclusively to women. Other popular male actors like Depp or Brad Pitt or Clooney, have “guy cred” — guys like them and watch their movies. Rob hasn’t done any movie that would draw male audiences, and it looks like Remember Me and Bel Ami are going to be chick flicks too. He needs to get out there and do some James Bond or maybe if that’s too commercial, get on the Cohen brothers bandwagon! My we’re serious today, aren’t we?

  34. Moon,
    I have been touring all the local grocery stores for ya! No sign of SM yet, but hopefully over the holidays she will be around!


  35. I was hanging out with some friends the other day and my bff was talking with a girl I do not know and I heard her say “UC runs a Twilight blog. HEY UC- tell this girl about your Twilight blog” And I SNAPPED at the bff and was like “No. I don’t want to talk about it” I mouthed “I’ll explain later” to her shocked face, but I never explained.. I probably should…

    but the explanation is… I like being and anonymous #1 Twilight fan!!!! That way if I want to talk about an underaged hottie & lust over someone closer to my age but still 3 years younger and say bad words, I CAN!

    I am happy to be Twilight’s #2 Fan if you wanna take one for the team and be #1, Moon!

    • I prefer to think of you two as my #1 Twilosophers. Fans are FANatics and lord know we see plenty of Twi-insanity in the world. If anything you bring the sanity, thus you cannot be FANatics.
      And I totally get mad at my honey when he brings up my Twi-interest to anyone. I have family members who do not even know. I very discretely convert them. I prefer to fan-grrl out here on LTT in the comfort and safety of like-mindedness. 🙂

  36. Ok so I have to come clean…I have searched through all the Christmas boxes and I cannot for the life of me find my Holiday spirit…must have put it with the xmas presents I can’t find either…Imma thinkin its cause I am sick of being stuck in this house, I miss work and the shitzy xmas parties, I miss not having the kids being kids anymore and I am just getting friggin old…see the trend?? Well I am going to turn it around..hale yes..(I would kick myself in the asp but I would just probably fall and suffer more brain damage or at least a broken bone or two…) Sooo I think I need to do something more like the old me…crazy, unpredictable…I AM going to do a Tribute Tree (as I said before I am very themed oriented ie: I have a pets tree, complete with rawhide candycanes) back to the TT or in this case LTT tree…some might misunderstand and think it is a Twilight themed tree….oh no I didn’t….I am going to dedicate it to UC & MOON..yup…complete with their pics..(of course red ribbons covering their purty faces) and then all my LTT’s avatars with lil red ribbons hanging them in place…now I am not saying that there may or may not be an Edward or Buttcrack santa ornament tucked somewhere on the purple tree..but basically it will a tribute to LTT….a one of a kind…tribute tree….gotta get going to “work”….lots to do and so lil time….and no I don’t care that this is NOT normal… 🙂

    • HAH! I love it! If you really do this please please please please share photos of it!

    • We will deff need to see pics of this!

      • LMAO…be careful what you wish for….although the “pet’s tree” came out pretty cute…little pics of all of them with rawhide red/green striped candycanes, milkbones and catnip, birdseed balls..yup thats she said.. etc….
        I did have to give up on the purple tree.. 😦 but I did use lots of puple sparkle spray…and it works cause now the tree is GREEN and PURPLE! Will keep ya posted…I think this year I have broken my record for the amount of Xmas tree’s in and outside the house… I really need to get a life…. 🙂 and take donations for the electric bill….lol…
        Tomorrow hopefully I will be finished with my LTT tree!!!

  37. I’m fine with being Twilight fan #1493
    as long as i’m apart of it.

    I’m not equipped to be #1…
    i forget too any things
    and refuse to get robsten’s face tat’d on my butt
    that’s just not normal.
    I like to think i am

    • #1493 probably would still get an Edward tatt. Just sayin’. I think if you’re on this blog you’re at least #500,000 or below.

  38. I can totally relate to this. In my workplace half of the girls have read the books. They ALL still tease me for my love of Rob. It’s all in good fun! However, I do keep this site a secret. ONLY because I want to keep it all to myself. It’s somewhere I can go and be myself and know that everyone understands where I’m coming from. Maybe you will disagree with me, but there is a common ground and that is the love of Twilight and Rob.

    UC – I had a similar situation at a school function for my kids where a friend of my sister’s came up to me and said “Hey – Twilight Girl!” I looked at her like “What?” She said ” Your sister told me you were a huge Twilight Fan” I said ” Well I’ve read all the books and seen the movies” I left out the part where I read a certain Twilight and Rob blog everyday and even sometimes make comments all during work hours and I have pictures of Rob in my screensaver along with the pictures of my kids. But – I’m no crazy Twilight Fan……….

    I’m normal right?

    Also in a meeting last week someone said “You broke his thing?” and I said “That’s what she said” I was immediately mortified but everyone laughed.

  39. don’t really have time to discuss now, but this topic is near and dear to my heart. UGH, There are fans crazier than me, i swear.

  40. Most of my friends know about my obsession, and that I’m okay with. Yeah I get a bunch of crap for it, but I can handle most of it.

    The one thing that I DID mind though, was the fact that this year in our Christmas letter, my mother insisted on telling our entire extended family and friends that I’m a “Twi-Hard”, have read all of the books multiple times, went to both midnight showings, and even took a trip to Minneapolis to go see some of the cast… Really mom… The CHRISTMAS letter? ugh. If only my finals had been done sooner, then maybe I could have stopped her before she printed like 100 copies.

  41. Your main concern about ‘outing’ yourself should be that your boss does NOT find out, we know you do a bunch of this while you’re at work. Because if that happens, you’ll be shut down (kind of like the readers were at Isle Esme) and what will we do then?

    You’d better have a backup plan – like, “oh, NO, I’m the #1 fan of TWIZZLERS! You know, the red licorice?” No one would imagine that you would do a blog about Twizzlers, so you would be safe.

    Just sayin’.

  42. I totally outed myself, even though I work in a very male-dominated industry (the comic book industry — where Twilight gets ragged on all the time).

    Outing myself has actually paid off for me. I’ve gotten more than one writing gig out of my “association” and “knowledge of” the series.

    Wear your geek with pride, ladies. People who know you will realize you’re not an idiot, and if they don’t, then hell with them. Plus, it could help you out. After all, there are a LOT of us Twilight geeks out there — I know I would hire an intelligent woman who is sure enough of herself to admit her fandom before I would hire someone that put down my love of the books.

  43. “heck I have business cards in my handbag with this blog’s URL on it… ”

    Um… WHAT?! YOU TOO?!

    Yeah…being a closet twi-hard is, well, hard. I mean, I’m out to some degree, at least my sister knows now how hardcore I am (what up, GRIFFS!) but um…

    Yeah fine, everyone knows.

  44. I’d say 3 people know how much I love Twilight, but none if them will ever know I write a blog, that’s just something I don’t need to tell people. I think in my very first post I wrote how I didn’t own one piece of Twilight merchandise, and a few months later, I have both Edward dolls (recent birthday gifts from family member!), a stack of New Moon “collectable” magazines (my mom bought them for “me” aka herself), and one t-shirt I only wear as PJs (complimentary of CafePress). Generally I don’t bring up Twilight unless someone else does, and even then I have to try to assess how I should respond to this person. I never give it all away.

    Anyway I think when people think of the “#1 Fan” its from a crazy media perspective. That’s why I could never apply to shows like Ellen that ask for someone that’s the biggest Twilight fan. They want all these hooks and stories that probably paint the person to look like they’d go foaming at the mouth crazy over Twilight.

  45. Ok, so I’ve actually thought about something similar to this recently. Cause I may be a nerd like that. But anyways, I’ve been thinking about how I am really lenient to discuss Twilight with people in public and reveal my fondness for this series. It’s weird. I’m all about talking about Harry Potter, but not so much Twilight. I don’t know.

    But yeah, I’m definitely not Twilight’s #1 Fan. And I am perfectly ok with that. I always thought of #1 fans as being crazies. And I am no crazy.

  46. I have to say that a post like this is exactly the reason I love this website. While I have not tried to hide the fact that I’m a fan, I don’t go around broadcasting it either. Although as I tried to explain what these commenters were saying to my Star Wars/Indiana Jones/anything geeky/nerdy obsessed boyfriend he tended to disagree that Twilight fans were given a harder time than other fans. His point was that every fan of every genre has their own army of ‘critics’ who think they are crazy.

    I ended up giving up on the convo and just saying to myself that I need to spend more time commenting on these blogs with all of you lovely ladies than wasting my time on those that are not Normal. 🙂

  47. very interesting topic today. i have been struggling with do i want to go to a twilight convention and meet Peter and Kellan(and some of the wolf pack). i really want to go. but i will be going alone. at 42 will i be embarassed checking into the hotel without a teenage daughter?
    after much internal debate- i have decided i don’t give a rat’s ass. i’m not going to make a spectacle- i will be quietly excited. so i’m going to go. i just wish i had a local friend who was as twi-obsessed as i am.

  48. I’m willing to become David Slade’s #1 Fan for a good leg hitch scene

  49. […] Twilosophy: I am NOT the number 1 Twilight fan! Dear Twilight and fellow LTT-ers, Recently a girl I sorta know found out about the blogs and asked me “so […] […]

  50. i actually get laughed at and mocked on a regular basis for being a fan of twilight. i kinda wish i had kept it quiet but i am famously bad at that. when i do get mocked, i feel bad about myself for maybe 2 seconds and that i think “why feel bad about something that makes me so incredibly and genuinely happy?” I also wonder if they’ve actually seen RPattz VF pictures and know for a fact that if they did they would quickly join the obsession. It also seems to me that those who make fun are probably closet fans that can’t come to terms. like those fucked up politicians (and other people too) that are so homophobic but turn out to be gay? Me thinks they doth protest too much….

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