Wednesday LTT Twivia

Dear LTTers who need a refresher,

Tonight after I rocked the mic with Bon Jovi at our first ever LTT karaoke party in Los Angeles, some of the gals decided to do a little “Twivia” aka: Twilight Trivia. The loser had to down a really gross shot. I knew NONE of the answers. I was ashamed. And also kinda tipsy, so I blamed it on the Goose. But it got me thinking that maybe it was time for a refresher.  New Moon is coming out in less than 48 hours (YAY!) and SOME of us are re-reading it, but maybe it would be good to go over some of the most common questions that people have about the Twilight Saga- specifically about Breaking Dawn and all the love-making in front of a fire on a bear skin rug that apparently goes on.

I consulted my favorite source for quality questions and answers, Wikianswers and just know that the following information will be of great value for your life.

(Note: These are actual questions I found followed by actual answers by WikiAnswers users. MY response is in purple below the real answer)


Breaking Dawn might not come out because this is creepy as f*ck

Why might breaking dawn not come out?

A:  Well on YouTube, it shows trailers of Breaking Dawn. Even pictures of the Reneesme'(s) playing Reneesme; so I’m pretty sure they are making Breaking Dawn in to a movie. I’ve seen the trailer’s for Breaking Dawn, and they totally relate to the book. The actors work on all the movies together, to get it done faster and to make more money, So they could be making Breaking Dawn right now.

On you tube there’s also a video of me with an Edward Cullen life-sized cut out holding hands and kissing in my bed. And that’s true- I am Edward Cullen’s real-life girlfriend, so I guess everything on you tube is rightt. So yes, Breaking Dawn must be coming out soon.

Q In Breaking Dawn do they describe the sex scene?

A: The sex scene in Breaking Dawn is described to some extent, however, Stephenie Meyer doesn’t go into very explicit details. She describes the before and the after scenes, and it does say that they had sex.But you know if bella skipped a period, that means she had sex and she’s pregnant.

Oh S*it. Is that what it means? I hear that sometimes though when you throw up to stay skinny you can skip a period. Maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten mine the past few months. What about this growing bump around my tummy though? Does Stephenie explain what that is? And I also hear that if you ride horses a lot when you’re younger you can lose your virginity. Is this true?

Q What is the name of Carlisle Cullen’s father?

A: Never told – But rumored to be Ptolemy, Which mean’s to Hunt, war, war like, and aggressive.

Wow- Twi-dork of the day award. Also, I agree. Ptolemy was a really popular name in London in the 1640s. Wasn’t it King Edward IV, then King George, King Charles then King Ptolemy?

Read more after the jump!


Believe in the magicness

Q During the honeymoon of Edward and Bella in Breaking Dawn did they really had a wild and steamy sex resulting to Bella bruised all over her body and Edward wrecking the headboard?


A: Yes, it wuz gross

No that was Robsten, not Edward & Bella.

Q Do Edward and Bella make love?

A: Yes. In the final book Breaking Dawn, Bella Cullen and Edward Cullen are on there honeymoon when they ‘make love’. Bella wakes up feeling very happy but See’s that Edward does not feel that same as he looks very unhappy as he explains what he has done to Bella she See’s that she is covered in feathers but Edward makes her look harder and she discoverers that she is covered in bruises from Edwards strength but Bella does not care.

Edward does not want to make love to Bella anymore until she is a vampire but he ends up giving in.

After a few more times ‘making love’ there is an unexpected surprise that could destroy there lives when they have just begun.

I couldn’t have answered that better myself. And I know for a fact that Chris Weitz said he’ll only take the job of directing Breaking Dawn if Summit & he can agree on the perfect tagline for the movie. And I think later today I’m going to pitch this idea to them both: Here we have it, Ladies and Gentlemen- the tag line for Breaking Dawn: “After a few more times of “making love,” there is an unexpected surprise that could destroy both of their lives after they’ve just begun..” Dun Dun DUNNN


I think it's time we make a child

What do you get when a vampire and werewolf have a child?

A: A mutated wolf baby that likes their meat rare.

First off, it would NEVER happen. The vampire wouldn’t be able to stand the smell of the wolf, even if he could hold his breath during the entire process.  The smell would permeate through his senses and he wouldn’t be able to attain an erection. And that’s a pretty important part of baby-making. Plus bestiality is illegal, even in fantasy world, so even if, let’s say some miracle happened and the vampire’s nose was clogged and he couldn’t smell the wolf, if they got caught by the cops, I think they’d be looking at at least 10-15 months in prison and that’s a long time and the wolf would probably forget all his human qualities and remain a beast forever and the vampire would waste away in a jail cell because you know that the kitchen wouldn’t comply with his request for a live deer to maul in the mess hall so he’d probably have to survive on the rarest, fattest pieces of baloney and spam and I’m not sure he’d last that long. Plus I just assumed both the wolf AND the vampire were male and I think that homosexual bestiality is even more illegal than regular bestiality, not to mention the wolf is probably a Native American and you know how America’s judicial system is usually harder on minorities, so that 10-15 months could easily be upped to 2-3 years.  So, I’d say that IF it were possible, which I clearly proved it’s not, the ‘wolfpire” would be cold blooded but warm to the touch, she would crave really rare meat and be so hairy that she would start to wax at age 7. Plus she’d get made fun of at least 4 times a day for having two dads, but she’s fine with it because she loves them equally- Dad #1 is really rich and can buy her front row Miley Cyrus tickets and Dad #2 is really warm and cuddly to snuggle with. Now that that’s cleared up, who wants to hear me explain how it IS possible for possums and lizards to procreate?

Next tine you’re at an LTT/LTR karaoke event that ends with a rousing 7 minute version of “We are the Rob,” you’ll be sure to blow everyone away with your Twilight saga knowledge.

You’re welcome,

We had an epic Tuesday, read about it on LTR and then discuss what officer role you’re campaigning for in the “I hate Moon” fanclub on The Forum

332 Responses

  1. Okay. First off: sounds like you are having shitloads of fun guys!!
    Second: I snuck to the loo from Twi to tell you that I am 55 mothereffing minutes away from seeing New Moon.

    I’m nervous.
    That’s normal.

    • Oh Jayde! I’m so jealous!!! I hope you enjoy it! Please don’t give too much away, I’m trying to stay pure until I see it in 2days and 6hours.

    • No spoilers, but please report back! Can’t wait to hear if you loved it! We all have to wait 37 more hours!!!! I’m DYING!!!!

      • You’re dying. I have 7 more sleeps!!!!!

        • SEVEN MORE SLEEPS? WTF DO YOU LIVE, MARS?….oh wait, I have 7 more sleeps too. Now I’m sad 😦

          • I’m so confused. Where do you guys live?

          • I live in Canada (near Toronto if you’ve heard of that city), but every theatre within a three city radius of me is sold out until Hell Freezes Over. So I have to wait until next Wednesday. 😦

          • *consoles self for not living in Canada by realizing there is only one sleep left until NM*

            P.S. I love the whole concept of counting sleeps. Incorporating into personal phrase files.

          • @abs, but hell already froze over. Didn’t you read Dante’s Inferno?

            @abs again, Toronto? As in that tiny city in Ontario that has walkways downtown because it’s too cold to be outside during the winter. My SO told me that the only time his balls were actually cold was in Toronto. So, yeah. Sorry about that part. Otherwise, I’m totes jealous.

            @S-Pizzle, yeah, I wish I lived in Canada too. In Vancouver. Sad panda. Or should I say Sad Spirit Bear to keep with the BC essence?

          • I thumbed you up ‘cuz first I snorted, and then I choked on my snort-boogies after reading your spirit bear comment, and I figured if I gave you a positive thumbing you’d be more apt to call me an ambulance.

          • @abs, teehee. What’s the number for 911 in Canada?

          • That would be 9-1-1.

          • HEY! I took that pic in my backyard last year. They’re sad cuz Mr. Abs took the garbage cans in to our igloo. Damn those pesky bears. Not as bad as the raccoons, but still…And then I drove away on my snowmobile.

          • Seriously… it’s sold out in TO ’til Wednesday???!!!

            OK, I’m glad I live in Montreal. Even if that did happen I’d at least have the option of seeing it at a French theater… poorly dubbed in Quebec French no less but that could be for the best, depending on how the dialogue turns out. 😉

            …Although I’m starting to worry because I never bothered to buy a ticket in advance to see it Friday night.

          • @opera, I’m sure you’ll be fine. I bought my midnight showing tix for tomorrow just recently (like 2 hours ago). Both the showings still had tix. I was smart (after that silly HP6 error) and asked for the one with the least amount of people in it.

            If you have to watch it dubbed…well at least you can remember that line from Twilight, “Je voudrais essayer une chose.” panty creamer.

          • I’m sure you’ll be fine too. There’s still tix for Saturday and Sunday matinees around me – but I’m working 😦 It’s just the showings that are during the times that I am not working that are all sold out. FML.

          • Germany. They are showing it on the 20th but I can’t. but seeing as I never owned a purity ring in the first place I say lay me down and rub the spoilers all over my body.

          • I’m from Alberta, Canada, and we get it on the 20th…
            Why does toronto get it so late?

      • Yeah, I won’t lie to y’all, I’m a little worred about what’s going to happen over the next few days. I’m so of two minds: do I avoid LTT/R for the next few days until I get to see NM or do I just try to skim and avoid spoilers? Sure I can refrain from listening to the soundtrack and avoid all other sites and “leaks” in general…but the thought of avoiding you altogether until I see it is just killing me.

        Request to my LTT/R ladies: keep the spoilers under wraps for at least a little while until we all get a chance to see it; be congnizant of time differances and release date variences (remember our poor German sistas don’t get to see it until next week!!)

        • variances, cognizant, differences. WHATEVER. It’s friggin’ as cold as Rosalie’s asshole today, my fingers are numb and I can’t type!!

          • Dood, the visual, WTF?

            So does anyone know the date when ALL of us should have watched the movie, and it will be safe to discuss?

            Or are we just going to go by nationality majority (Amerkuh, Nov. 20,) and have a BIG spoiler alert that day?

          • StothePizzle, you’re totes right. WE NEED TO KNOW PEOPLE! IF YOU’RE NOT A FRIDAY-ER PST, please please please Post that so that we know!!! Sigh. I don’t wanna be “that girl” who ruins it for someone else. Especially with my twi-prude purity ring still on tight. I don’t want to betray my prude sisters!

        • I still can’t believe how hardcore prude you are with not listening to the soundtrack.

          I’m going to rock the midnight (going to buy the tix tonight, yea yeah, last minute, so what.) just so that I can be able to come here on Friday without fear. That’s normal, right?

          • totally normal. I’m contemplating a midnight run to the theatre on the corner by my solo-ass just to see. I MIGHT be able to find one single seat, right?

          • abs, if you can’t find a single seat, cut a bitch.

          • I may just run in to the theatre and scream “Ooh Eem Gee Robert Pattinson is outside”. Surely that would clear a few seats for me.

            As for the soundtrack purity thing…for me, it’s more important than avoiding any other spoilers. I’m just a music person I guess.

          • Just buy a ticket to another show, wait about 10 minutes or so into the movie and hop over to the NM theater. I’m sure someone will still be getting popcorn and, oh, too bad, they just lost their seat.

            Desperate times call for desperate actions!

      • Saw New Moon.
        FUCKING ACE.
        Chris Weitz is GOD.
        Summit, bring him back for Breaking Dawn!!!!


          I’m sorry but that just needed saying.

        • I am so seething with jealousy I am now going to go smack the cat (not really but do have extreme pent up emotions that must come out and might just squeeze her a little bit

          • Dude. That is effing hilar. I totally almost spat my half-chewed sandwich out at my ‘puter with laughter.

          • Don’t do it! I almost killed a guinea pig with pent-up emotion once! (She survived unscathed, don’t worry..)
            Save it for Edward.

            Personaly, I am almost going out of my mind here, the posters are up all over the place. Everywhere I turn, there he is! Stomach churning…breathe slowly.

          • DOWNER ALERT:

            True personal story – When I was little, I had a wuzzerful cat named Rusty. One time, I hugged her until she meowed and I felt really bad and thought I’d hurt her. The next week, I went to Girl Scout camp and while I was gone my parents had to have her put to sleep. When I came home and they told me, I thought it was because I’d “loved” her too hard. I made the mistake of telling my friends and they tease me about it to this day. Years later, I found out she’d had leukemia. FML.

          • StotheP – OME, that is soooo sad. I have no idea what you look like – clearly not like Keifer Sutherland in Lost Boys – but I just had an image in my head of a little girl in a Girl Scout uniform crying over her “too loved” cat. sniff. sniff.

          • Comment Number 1: I’m not sure Ish was talking about a pet kitty, but rather a kitty that you pet. Or I may just be a perv (which I think has already been established)
            Comment Number 2: My mom squeezed her pet cat so hard when she was a little girl that it poohed in her lap
            Comment Number 3: StothePizzo, your story, saddest.story.ever.

          • Awww. StotheP.

            When I was little I had a kitty (Mopsy). I pulled her tail one day to see what it was like. An hour later my dad accidently ran her over.

            Karmas a bitch. 😦

          • Definately meant the curled up ball of fluff on my couch right now, aDo not have my mind in the gutter!!!!!

        • Ohhhh my gooooodddd! Was it good? Did you cry? Were the fans squeeeeing?
          I’ll see it only in 21 hours, still sooner than fans from the US, but I’m jealous for youuu!!!

        • Sitting here at work; absolutely exhausted after the midnight screening, but so worth it –
          NEW MOON rocked my world.

          Our tickets to see it again tomorrow are burning a hole in my pocket.

          Chris Weitz *bows down* THANK YOU

        • I saw it too! So, so, so, so good!! Loved it!!!

    • im so jealous of you jayde!!!!!!!!

    • Just got back from the London preview introuduce by Jamie Campbell Bower, what a dude 🙂

      Where can I go to discuss?

      • You bring up a good point, PG11! I think the forum should start a section on NM discussion. OR maybe UC&Moon can start another blog temporarily that’s just a huge comment board.

  2. That is the best post you have done ever. I am neally choking. You had me at twi dork award.
    Well worth not cooking lunch for my kids just hanging around the computer. Thank you thank you. Still have exactly one week today to wait so you are seriously helping pass the time. I cannot wait to read the comments today. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx enjoy

  3. If only Stephenie Meyer had included this line in Breaking Dawn: “They really had a wild and steamy sex.”

    It makes me wonder if they had “a sex” that was not as wild and steamy. Maybe something a little more boring and awkward. Like Robsten does.

  4. Oh my deedly diddly doo (for no reason at all, Ned Flanders popped up in my head). Who diddly writes those doodly answers on WikiAnswers? Effin’diddly hilarious.

    Less than 10 hours until New Moon. I’m diddly losing my mind.

  5. During the honeymoon of Edward and Bella in Breaking Dawn did they really had a wild and steamy sex resulting to Bella bruised all over her body and Edward wrecking the headboard?

    A: Yes, it wuz gross

    No that was Robsten, not Edward & Bella.

    LMFAO at the Robsten comment.


    • Except I can’t see Rob putting enough energy into sex with Kristen to give her all those bruises? But then on the other hand maybe she got bruised and the headboard broke from her thrashing about and wailing, having nightmares after sex with Rob? We have seen in the trailers how she can do that, right? 😉

    • HAHAHAH “gross” hahahaha

  6. Bahaha!! I love the funny!

    Bella looks hawt in that first pic! Am I alone with that?

    All the Renesme’s are creepy as f*ck though – it’s beyond me how they are going to make that work, and it doesn’t matter how much they explain what ‘imprinting’ is, everyone will make their assumptions about Jacob ifyouknowwhatimean. *sigh*

    King Ptolemy was one of the best monarchs we ever had, he had 14 wives and decreed that everyone had to be drunk by midday or they would be beheaded. FACT.

  7. thanks for that I missed that. Laughing even harder now. Hey I was thinking about you the other day after you mentioned your taste in literature, have you read “Don’t you want me” by India knight? It’s very English but has you laughing out loud and cringing. It is not so much hot and saucy but very tongue in cheek (thats what she said)

  8. Are you sure that Cullen family picture isn’t the movie poster of the newest ‘The Omen’ remake? And on what bizarre stranded sea creature is Edward resting his head while making love with Bella on the beach?

    • “And on what bizarre stranded sea creature is Edward resting his head while making love with Bella on the beach?”

      Perhaps it is the loch ness monster? This would explain a lot.

      • Haha, I NEVER wanted to see that picture ever again. Ever. So, thank you, UC, for making me want to lose my breakfast.

      • ftw fang! It’s like a subtle foreshadowing…

      • *retches into trash can*

        Ugh. Can’t believe you brought up the Loch Ness monster thing.

        Can I just say that the whole Renesmee/Nessie/’you called my daughter a monster’ debacle is in large part responsible for my distaste for Breaking Dawn?

        Really, SM’s publishing company, a focus group could have done WONDERS for that book . . .

        • aww, I like Breaking Dawn! Though the fact that she gets mad about her kid being nicknamed Nessie when she actually named it something much much much much much much more ridiculous and annoying and hard to say, that is so annoying. Bella, get over it. Plus, why does she FLIP out that he imprinted on her kid? She should be thanking god that someone did, otherwise she’d have to marry that whacko from the jungle who has MAJOR emotional issues and may or may not have looked like one of the cartoon people from Wall-E when I imagined him while reading the book.

          • Love the series, but Breaking Dawn is my least favorite. So many disappoinments – the fade to black (not that I would have wanted something too raunchy in a YA book, but, hey, a LITTLE enlightenment would have gone a long way), the anticlimactic epic battle, the Renesmee name fail (Nessie actually pissed me off more than Renesmee, but I have issues with nicknames).

            Great, redeeming moments – LOVE the varied vampire friends and their training scenes. LOVE Bella’s special gift and her figuring out how to share her mind w/Edward. LOVE that Bella and Jacob were no longer the ambiguously bestial duo.

        • Yeah, that was totally random and pointless.

      • I’m fine with the creature, but where the HALE are his legs?

    • It sorta looks like an extension of his hair. Maybe Cathy the Cougar got so frustrated that she didn’t get her way with Edward’s hair, that she painted this. Every time she sees it she sighs ‘ah, the beauty that could’ve been…’

    • It’s a ballisk (sp) look at the picture and you immediately gag

  9. It’s always a great post when you make me laugh so hard I snort! (Everyone, does that…right?) Kuddos for sneaking in a True Blood crossover also!

    I think the least that they can do for us when making what will be an embarrassing “have to explain to your friends why it isn’t creepy for Jacob to imprint on Renesmee” movie that will be Breaking Dawn is a really great sex scene. With feathers. And broken headboards. That will make me spend my $9.50 many, many times.

    And I love run-on sentences…they make me snort, too!

    • Can’t they just LEAVE OUT the whole imprinting thing and still make the movie? Can’t Jacob just agree to watch over Rene … what the fuckever her name is … out of friendship and love for Bella? Yes, yes, I think he can. And that would take a whole hell of a lot less time/creepy Chris Hansen references than figuring out how imprinting works in a two hours movie.

      • But how then, would he get over Bella? I’ve thought this too, since the imprinting on babies thing still creeps me the f*ck out. I know how Stephenie explains it, “he’ll be like a big brother, blah, blah, blah,” but I just can’t get past it.

      • I too cannout speak out the name. What would you have called her? Edna or Agnes would be better than Ren Rene Rene…gag..esme

  10. Q: During the honeymoon of Edward and Bella in Breaking Dawn did they really had a wild and steamy sex resulting to Bella bruised all over her body and Edward wrecking the headboard?
    A: Yes, it wuz gross

    Who exactly is it that are answering these questions? I don’t see it as “a… sex” well done until the headboard is busted and feathers are coating everything within sight.

    Maybe that’s just me. Don’t know.

    • I think my favorite part is the “wuz” Come on, really? It’s the same amount of letters to type as “was”!


        • um, wow. marriage? That involves a reception right? And dancing…not such a good idea for me…

          Though, what does “You ae the bomb” mean? Is that some kind of german letter?

          • hahahahahahahahaha those damm typos. I took the piss out of stothep yesterday for writing dath instead of death so it`s all coming back to me! We could just go to vegas…wear sweats….

          • hmmm…i’ll think about it. To have full disclosure though, I’m sort of betrothed to tuesdaymidnight. We thought it’d be less tacky to share Billy if we lived in the same house… But, tuesday doesn’t actually know about that yet, so…

          • Not me ish! I didn’t write “dath.” If I had screwed death up, it would have been along the lines of “darth.”

            I remember reading that comment, though.

            I’ve already made several errors today, however. ‘S what happens when I post eleventy billion words.

          • SPizzle, darth! hahah. After the George Hamilton/Mike Newton (or whatever his RL name is) comparison yesterday, I had Mark Hamilton in my head. I brought it up with the SO and we discussed how some people say that Luke killed Darth cuz he took off his helmet, but that really Darth had already come to be Anakin again and no longer wanted to go on living as a machine. Anyway…that led to a discussion about HP7, which he hasn’t read yet, and me biting my tongue about how I love that Harry doesn’t kill Voldy (or anyone for that matter), he kills himself. Though harry does bust out one of the unforgivable curses…that kind of pissed me off.

            Isn’t my boyfriend super awesome?

            @ish well, I was hoping to rouse some interest in tuesday, but she’s been ignoring me for days it seems (probably not actually, but I just miss her). Anyway, once I cut this purity ring off, I’ll enter into cyber marriage with you.

          • Wow…do I wish I could take back the last few seconds, TeamSeth. I hadn’t read all the HP books yet. My own damn fault for being a slowpoke. Now I have the sads.

          • I thumbs down you Beth because i feel like such an asshole!!! I had a moment where I thought, “Maybe I shouldn’t say this.” Aw damn. I’m so so so sorry! 😥

            If it makes you feel any better, some one below gave some spoilers on NM. So BEWARE!!! Aureila or whatever. I did a quick glance and went “OH NO!” and covered it up with my hand while quickly scrolling upwards. So close.

          • thanks for the warning about below TS.
            I was like “WTF, HP kills himself? Oh well, at least now I dont’ have to read anymore”.
            I would kill MYself if I’d read the spoilers for NM you claiim are below.


          • TS – THANKS for the spoiler alert alert! You just singlehandedly (ok, twohandedly ’cause of the typing) saved my New Moon purity!

            You’re like an aspirin between my knees . . .

          • Nah, SPizzle, it was single-handedly. My other hand is busy trying to hold my chest together where the giant hole that is JodieO is. Where is that girl?

            Again, sooo sooo sorry about the HP thing. I feel like such an asshole. Also, it’s still worth reading. Because the ending does have some twists to it that I didn’t spoil.

          • @TS – Don’t feel too bad about the HP spoiler. I didn’t know the details of his demise either. But I’m not upset because it’s not like that book hasn’t been out awhile! I purposely stayed away from Twi-news until I read all the books. That’s the reason I will be AWOL soon until I see New Moon. I know things will be said that I don’t want to read until I see it!

          • Thanks, Ang. I still feel bad though, ‘cuz this isn’t HP, this is Twi.

            Anyway, I think I’ll being AWOLing tomorrow. it’s gonna be hard though. But I’ll just look down at my purity ring and remember that promise I made to myself. As the annoying slut Anya Marina said, “I’ll be true to you!” (ok, maybe slut was a bit harsh)

          • TS – No worries. Like I said, I should have kept up. I took a break on HP after 5 and decided to see the movies first (ironically, I did that because Dumbledore’s fate had been spoiled for me!). I ‘d decided to see the rest of the movies first. Really ok, though. 🙂

    • I now see I have missed my calling – answering questions on Wikianswers! It could be an alternative to writing fan fic?

      Would very accurate sentence structure and spelling lend more credibility to answers such as the above, do you feel? Or not?

      • Yes, I believe that the power of the correctly written word would not have conveyed the depth of the crazy behind such answers. Perhaps we should be thankful for such red flags as “See’s” and “a wild and steamy sex.”

  11. It must have been really cool to sing with Bon Jovi. You gotta know. Is the movie any good. I saw the red carpet gig on fox. Is the movie good or does it stink big time?

  12. *pushes up glasses on bridge of nose*

    Dear whoever said that Ptolemy is rumored to be Carlisle’s father (or do you mean his sire?),

    Carlisle Cullen was born in the 1640s and turned in the 1660s. Ptolemy (Claudius Ptolemaeus) was a Roman citizen of Greek and Egypt born in the first century and a noted mathematician and astronomer. Though “Ptolemy” does mean “warlike” (coming from the Greek “Ptolemaios”), UC is correct to point out that the odds of finding a man also named Ptolemy in England in the 1600s are unlikely.


    And, that’s my nerd moment for the day… wait, no, I’ve got more:

    Could a vampire and a werewolf have a child? Technically, the Jorts Pack aren’t werewolves, they are shapeshifters, and for some reason I think that changes things. But, if Edward can impregnate Bella (which still bothers me), why couldn’t he impregnate a werewolf? I volunteer Leah for experimentation.

    Though, I like UC’s answers better.

    • *bows to the intellect*

      A+! Your history and sex-ed teachers would be so proud.

    • I definitely think we’ve been through the werewolf vampire spawn thing before…

      Thanks for that explanation on Ptolemy. 😉 I wuz thinking it wuz definitely a possibility for carlisle’s dad’s name.

      • Leah isnt Normal for a shape shifter thats why she changes like the boys.

        I dont think shes a fake lesbian. LOL

        • What do you mean she isn’t normal? Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she’s not normal…right?

          Anyway, I’m glad Sue and Charlie are mackin’ it, what with all their kids being mythical creatures and all.

          I think she’s straight. Remember how into Sam she was before he told her that she should’ve put a ring on it and dropped her like it was hot. (and in a way…she was)

    • Why hasnt anyone said anything about the possiblilty of Jacob and Reneseme having a kid?!?! Will that work out??? Will it smell like a warewolf/vampire/person???

      • Oh, Griffs, it’s already been broughten. I’ll go back to find the post that led to the comment frenzy on the matter and give you the link. Some time in in Sept or Oct…

      • I do remember this conversation as well. It seems to hinge on the question of whether or not Renesmee has a working womb. If she’s too vampirish then it’s a non-option, but if she has human, uh, lady parts, then it would be 1/4 vamp, 1/2 shapeshifter, and 1/4 human. Which would be an odd creature, indeed. I think Aristotle would categorize that as a monster.

        Wow, I’m in ubernerd mode today.

  13. That picture is amazing! “I think it’s time we make a child!” 100 kinds of win.

  14. Ok, I’ve had some time to think about this and I’ve got some questions. With werewolves and vamps each having an issue with the others scent, is this going to be the most nauseating sex ever? Is this going to be two people holding their breath and simultaneously gagging or does love (or awesome hate sex) really conquer all? Will the hot heat on cold stone action produce some kind of glittery fursplosion with a serious rare steak craving? Will it prefer to wear a peacoat with its jorts? Would someone enlighten me?

    • The mental image of the peacoat with the jorts killed me. Hahahahahah.

    • Ok, for real, was anyone going to tell me that maybe my Blackberry didn’t load up the whole post and that I basically regurgitated the wolfpire answer?! Seriously! Epic effing FAIL! 12 hours later I get on here and finally understand that no, this post was not in fact cut off at a weird ending point and that I could be a complete douche. Dood. I appreciate brutal honesty. Next time, someone say, “hey turbo, perhaps you should check the post again because you’re totes participating in some serious plagiarization right now.” FML

  15. You know…I worry about Bella. The fact that she is really happy when she wakes up but can’t remember anything just bugs me.

    I’m sorry, I would remember in VIVID detail.

    • OH YEAH I am so with you on this one…..You wait how freakin long to ..umm..ya know with the love of your life and your saying she doesn’t remember??? MAJOR FAIL..unless it WAS a MAJOR FAIL??? I’m just thinkin??

      • ‘Cept with Midnight Cyn they’d wake up to stick-it notes everywhere instead of feathers.

        • ROFLMAO!! How true….have to add broke up when I first got this feature..”sticky notes” no shitz…don’t know how they work yet but “Take that UC!!” Windows 7 uses sticky notes!!! Awww sweet revenge!!!

    • Yeah, she does remember….remember? (That sentence probably only makes sense to me.) She says that a rush of memories comes back to her from the night before, she just couldn’t remember when his hold had been too tight (to cause the bruising). She says something along the lines of ‘I just remember wanting him to hold me tighter and being pleased when he did.’ That’s ’cause Bella likes it rough.

      • I mean the feathers and the headboard…does she remember that part?

        I struggled with reading BD.

        • It seems it comes back to her gradually. The implication being that she was so swept off her feet (or bum) by the earthquake experience of making love with Edward that everything became a blur in her mind. Like being high I guess. Only piece by piece does she recall the details.

          Or then, maybe she is just a blushing prude in denial and can’t face the fact that she just had the best (and only) sex of her life. Silly girl.

    • I agree with Sassysmart and Cyn on this one. It bugged me too. You have been wanting to bed Edward since the first day you spoke to him and you are going to tell me you aren’t going to remember every delicious detail? But maybe like MariaCecilia said, her experience with Edward was so mind blowing that she was too euphoric to remember anything right at the moment she woke up. I mean S Meyer did write Edward to be her fantasy guy and who wouldn’t mind having such fabulous sex with your man, for the FIRST time, that your mind can’t wrap itself around it?

      • OK I am gonna jump in here only cause like I have SOME experience with forgetting things….but I GUARENTEE if I slept with Rob…I mean Edward…EVEN I WOULD REMEMBER IT!!!
        Makes me NOT even want to read BD for the fact Bella “doesn’t remember” that she finally has her fantasy come true…!!!

      • Whose first time EVER really is that good?

        Yeah, mine either. And they BOTH were virgins.

        • But this is fiction right? If this were real life, Edward would not be a vampire – he would be gay! (*sob*)

          Ever seen “In or out” with Kevin Kline? English teacher gets (falsely?) outed by an ex-student. His other students’ comment: “Well, you are clean and well-dressed and polite, so naturally, he would assume that you were gay, right?”

  16. (UC, were you drunk when you wrote this? Nevermind…)

    I love your thourough answer to the wolf/vamp procreation inquiry. This has kept me up at night for months. Only at this blog can I get to the bottom of such pressing issues. Such a joy.

  17. Good morning eveyone!!! 🙂

  18. Dudes, I am so jealous of the LTT karaoke party. I do a wicked ‘Hollaback Girl’.

  19. what’s with the person randomly capitalizing the word “See’s” in that one answer?

    I love you for this. In fact, it’s washed away my jealous bitch hate that I was harboring against you and Moon for all of the fun stuff you’ve been doing while I’ve been stuck in a cubicle this week. This was amazing.

    • furthermore, what is with them random apostrophizing it? See’s? What is that a possessive? Surely an english major reading can explain it all to us.

      • As an English major and an editor by profession, I’ll have to say that by using the apostrophe with “sees” the writer is using the same grammar rule that he/she used when using the word “there” in the sentence “…Bella Cullen and Edward Cullen are on there honeymoon when they make love.”

        Hopefully that cleared up some confusion. Let me know if you have any other questions.

        • Do you read a lot of fan fic? You must get very worn out if you do and can’t switch off your English major mind..

          “there” substituting “their” is just the tip of the iceberg. I think I will make a list of the most unlikely word substitutions, based on sound alone and nothing else, that I found in fan fic. Mind boggling when you take them literally.

          • hm…now I really won’t read fanfic. I had stayed away this long, no real interest, but will just keep staying away then. I do want to see that list though!

          • OHMIGOSH! Get out of my head! We need to compile lists! I know of SEVERAL recurring fanfic errors that show up routinely in different stories. Makes my eye start to twitch.

            TS, for realz. I don’t know whether to warn you off or encourage you to embrace the fanfic. At this point, I’m so far down the rabbithole I might just need you to stay above ground and pull me out.

          • @SPizzle, I’ll throw down the rope and bring you back from the dark side. Then you can help me to carry the fire. We’ll keep it alight together.

          • I have read a lot of fan fic (ducks) and some of it is really good. Well written, good grammar and more vocabulary diversity than SMeyer herself sometimes!!

            That said, I have read some stinkers, (I never read now unless recommended by a reliable source….My Least Favorite FF Grammatical Error would have to be when someone ‘shutters’ at someone’s touch. ahem. But hey, some of these folks are turning out thousands of words each week…..

            Rampant apostrophe misuse is a global epidemic. I keep waiting for someone to change the rules and just say it is ok to throw one in wherever you want.

          • TS – Fanfic reading? I stop. You start.

          • @Lapush, Wait, maybe shuttering means that their vagina closes off?

            I’m writing a novel and churning out words and I don’t write there for their!!! I also have proofreaders (aka my novel critique group)

            Also, I’m not sure how much more wider you can get than “kismet”.

            @S-Pizzle, don’t you mean “reeding”?

          • and before you jump all over me for “more wider” I went back and added the “more” and forgot to delete the “r”. Lazy proofreading.

          • “maybe shuttering means that their vagina closes off?”

            hahahahaha. 😀

            Not tonight honey, I’m shuttering.

          • OH, I was just reading shuttering wrong, thanks for clearing that up. Honestly, I don’t see that much ‘there for their’ in FF, but like I said, I am pretty picky…. and you ARE churning out words every week for a real book with real pages and cover!! Which is awesome, and I look forward to reading it! If you need any advice on your or you’re, I’m here for you on g-chat…..;-) lol.

    • Thank you for pointing out the ‘See’s.’ I can’t believe that UC did not address this.

  20. Just finished watching KStew on Regis & Kelly, showed preview of B-party..I am officially taking the stand to say Rosalie is a BITCH! I have tried to like her..NOT!

    @Illegalwolflover..Hope the movie was everything and more you hoped it would be!!!

    UC & Moon..Hope you are enjoying every mini second of ur visit..

    Is it normal that I have not figured out how to use my computer at all except IE so I could return here???

    Luv & Hugs!

    • @MidCyn – I’m with you on the Rosalie feelings. Do not like her even after all 4 books!

      You are on LTT…that’s the most important part of the news computer. Totes normal. But, you do need to figure out that e-mail so you can access our “breaking news” story I sent you yesterday!

      • So true…can’t even find email WHAT’S up w/ all the freakin bleeping this thing does…???
        Back to Roabitch..on todays preview Rosabitch actually tells Bella WHAT her b-gift is and then announces “Alice bought it!!

        • YAY! You’re back!!! Good to see you! =) I thought that bit with Rosalie and the birthday present was hilarious. It cracks me up every time she grumpily thrusts that package at Bella.

          • JodieO! I’m so happy to see you. I can’t find your other comment, so I’ll just reply here. Anyway, sorry you were so hectic this week. It sucks when life gets in the way of Twilight…especially during such an epic week.

            Anyway, you stay warm up there in ME. (And you too MidCyn!!!) I feel like that I had something so much more consequential to say to you, but I can’t think of it.

            Okay, I’m going to have a sneezing fit right now. Blech. Missed you!

      • Oh, I saw that clip about the birthday present. Typical Rose! Honestly, I don’t understand what Emmett sees in her. She’s the only Cullen I do not like, and it’s hard for me to accept that she is part of that family! OK – reality check – these are fictional characters. Sometimes I have to remind myself.

    • Rose hate again?!?!

      *pulls out rocket launcher* *removes knife from hair*

      Whose mini mall do I need to blow up?

      I still heart you, Cyn.

      • Sorry but cannot stand all..ducking now..and luckily no malls any where near by! ❤

      • FANG! You are my sister from another mister!

        Don’t forget your Daisy Dukes and red heels!

        • BTW, everytime I think of Pough’ Rosalie, I picture her w/a machine gun leg.

          • What’s with the Poughkeepsie thing? Fang keeps bringing it up with someone else. I jealous but I’m not sure why.

          • Lol me too!!! If there’s anyone who should make Poughkeepsie into a movie, it’s my lovah Tarantino.

          • Okay, but really, what is Poughkeepsie…is that some sort of book? I always knew it to be that city where Vassar is.

          • It’s an M-azing fanfic.

            You’re just jealous because you heart me!

          • TS – Poughkeepsie is a great fanfic by a writer pennamed Mrs. The King. Like purple, it is cool.

            VERY different characters. Not so much OOC (out of character) but somewhat. More that their personal circumstances are so bizzare. Of course, in this fic they are all human.

            I don’t think Sparklecakes and I (and I’m SURE Fang agrees) are not far off imagining Pough’ as a movie in the vein of Tarantino & Rodriguez’s grind house flicks.

            In a word, awesomesauce.

    • @MidCyn I missed u…but as i shared the popcorn with pocket Jacob and Edward…i gave some of it to pocket you…
      Jacob was all over me but Edward only had eyes for you….

      • Morning ILWL….couldn’t sleep thinking about your exciting night.(.thanks BTW for the snack)…do tell was it wonderful???? I was too busy ..with the boys…to pop up for a look…but I am dying to know…..AND ARE YOU STILL SMILING TODAY???

        • Sigh It was Wunnerful..but then again i am deeply biased and was possibly high on sugar…LOL

          Hale Yes im still smiling …see? 😀 thats cause im here with u guys where i belong….

          • You’ve actually already seen it?! Siiiigh. Is that why you weren’t online yesterday? i love you illegal. But don’t tell me any any anything. 🙂

          • TS…watched Twilight on the big screen for the FIRST TIME!!!! squeeee….itsamzing how many things u miss when u watch it on TV….IM IN LOVE WITH BILLY BURKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im officially joining u and Tuesday in standing in line waiting to dumpster dive….
            I cried when Bella leaves and breaks his heart… his face when she comes down the stairs in her prom dress….when BCS dies…..
            Please dont be mad…I think he singlehandedly saved the movie…(yeah the Edward guy was good too)
            In love in love in love in love….Buying the TWilight DVD jst to rewatch his parts….buying a bigger TV just so he can fill the screen up…..sigh sorry…..just in love….

            p.s. Taycob…I still ❤ u like a fat kid loves cake *puts away cake*….when u come out of the forest in your skinny tie and scruffy uniform…i just want to teach U things…im justsaying…ties are excellent restraining devices….safe word is "Hansen"….call me….

            End of rant ❤ u all over the place TS….Muah!

          • Sigh. Another joins the cool club…

    • I agree MidCyn. My sister told me that it’s explained why Rosalie is such a bitch in both Midnight Sun and Eclipse, but it’s totally not. It’s just like “Oh, she’s jealous so she’s rude” and then “oh, she was gang raped and beaten, so she wasn’t able to have a child. But she’s blaming that on becoming a vampire not the fact that she would be dead otherwise.” Ungrateful bitch.

  21. Since when is having sex so rough you bruise from it “gross”? Does that person even understand that there are fluids involved? It’s not just rubbing your Ken and Barbie smoothness together.
    Silly children.
    Bruises are a sign of a job well done. Well, that and don’t forget to buy him flowers in the morning and promise it will never happen again.

  22. “I think its time we make a child” FTW!!!

    why doesnt anyone ask if there was a threesome during the tent scene? now thats something ill pay good money to see…then again im a pervert….
    will ask wikianswers and see…if not will turn on random image generator and pour me some iced tea…
    mmmm iced tay…i mean tea..iced tea….Team Tent Threesome…i volunteer my body for test takes with Tay and Rob…but mostly Tay…LOL

    yes i saw it…yes it was good (edited from a 10000 page squee fest) will say nothing till everyone sees it…missed u guys loads….watching Twilight with insider jokes aint no fun when ur lonely….:D

    • @illegal – Thank for the extreme self-edit. I KNOW how difficult that must have been. 🙂

      • @Ang thanks…gloating makes me feel icky…and i love u guys too much to be icky…but i had to say that i saw it so i dont implode…
        p.s. will reply e-mail asap.Just got back…LOL

        • Please EMAIL ME WITH ALL THE DETAILS PLEASE!!! I CAN”T STAND NOT KNOWING! PLUS it will help you get some release from holding it all….Remember I HAVE to wait til the DVD…take pity on me!!! Yes I begging! 🙂

          • yup!Definietly will do as soon as Ang sends me ur addy..gonna sleep now for a little bit….5 am….yawn….see u in a few hours….

          • MidCyn and illegal – just sent Cyn’s e-mail to illegal! Though she might be asleep now. Dreaming of Taycob.

          • @Ang..thanks for sending email to ILWL..I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT THE MOVIE!!! Bet she is dreaming some sweeeet dreams right now…AND I bet Edward sneaks in there..right??

          • Oh, I’m not the email pimp anymore? I see how it is.

          • @TS – I ALMOST called myself the e-mail pimp. But I couldn’t take that title from you. btw – I’m using a different address now than I had sent you. I’ll have to send you another one. 🙂

          • Thanks for not taking it away from me, even though you already did…bitch.

            teehee. yeah, email me again

            ps-why won’t my damn charlie avatar show up!

          • @TS – I couldn’t get my avatar to change until I emptied my cache on the computer. Which I did at home…but can’t seem to do here at work. So I don’t see anyone’s current avatars here!

          • @Teamseth..Hey girl how ya doin??? Wrote you back last nite but didn’t see any more of you….and don’t worry you have always been and will always be our email pimp!! LOL

          • @MC, I’ll go back and look for your comment. I’m pretty sick right now, no fever, so no swiney swine flu. But I should be better by midnight Thursday. And if I’m not too bad, I’m still going.

            Tear, I’m honored to be your email pimp.

      • @Ang OME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally got my email open or should I say got it to open it in Word..which I guess was the problem…anywho..CAN’T BELIEVE WE WROTE THAT!!! HOW FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!! WE HAVE TO DO MORE!!! STILL LAUGHING SERIOUSLY…WIPING TEARS!!!

        • @MidCyn – I know, right? It is hilarious! It’s amazing what we can do when sleep deprived. We wrote it all rapid fire fast too! There has got to be something seriously wrong with us….or perhaps something seriously right!

          • I am going with seriously is friggin hilarious and I can’t believe we did that..ohhh we have to do more!!!

          • @MidCyn – feel free to add to the story! Me and illegal talked about working on it and adding pictures, etc. She has to get through her exams to have more free time. And I need to get a handle on my RL (work schedule).

          • @Ang and MidCyn…im gonna start on pics tom…cause exams are over and since ive failed all of them by writing “Illegal WL Lautner”, “Illegal and Taycob forever’ and “Taylor I’d eff u on this paper right now” I’ll have to stick to captioning things….im so excited….about the news…not really about doing him on my qestion paper….i lie…i’d do that…sorry mind in gutter today…..dirty dreams did not help….

            When are u gonna realise Tay…ive got squinty eyes just like u….its like we’re made for each other….

          • @illegal – Yippee for pictures! And it’s only a matter of time till Tay realizes you are meant for each other. Did I ever tell you that I had a cat for 16 years named Taylor? I think of her whenever his name is mentioned! Yes, my Taylor was a she. And a cat, not a wolf.

          • Hahahaha…my cats named Charles Nathaniel Perera Fox…yeah named after gossip girl characters and fiance’s and my last names…yeah his is “fox” wied much? its like i cant date outside the species…LOL

            A cat named Taylor…u crack me up.. 😀

    • ‘Team Tent Threesome’

      Hahahahahah! Seriously, will one of you skilled fanfic writers make this happen, ’cause I want to read this.

    • BTW, IllegalWL (when you return from the Land of Nod), your last posts yesterday were breaking my cold rock-hard heart.

      Hear that music? Go to your window. That’s me, standing on your lawn with a circa 1985 boombox on my shoulder, blasting the second track from the NM soundtrack.

      “Maybe I’ve been living for this cyber soul . . .Everyone that I miss when I’m distant/Everybody’s here . . .Yeah my friends they are so beautiful/They’re my friends”

      That quite possibly might be the most emo thing I’ve ever done.

      • Wow – I’m moved, Lloyd Dobbler. Er…I mean, StotheP.

      • Say Anything ref. And I thought I couldn’t love you more!

      • Awwwww…..StotheP….thats quite possibly the most effing amazing thing anyone has ever done for me….(except for the surprise party my parents had and noone got the cue…waited in the dark for 5 minutes with embarrased coughs and crickets…AWKWARD)

        I ❤ u so much that my heart imploded and now am lying on the pile of cats killed earlier on in the forum…

        I'm emo too….*sits on a park bench in black and hand out sad cookies while listening to dashboard…* but its bloody hard if ur gonna make me smile so much….

        a thousand MUAH's andhappy cookies to u…just cause ur just AWSOMESAUCE!!!!!

        • @illegal – I am so glad I am alone right now because of this statement:

          “now am lying on the pile of cats killed earlier on in the forum…”

          • Why? I have a few reasons…

            * U killed all of them in the form of an avenging Dog supporter…

            *u want to make a coat off of them?

            *u wanna join me on said pile cause it looks fun?

            “sit down have some fur Ang..”

          • @illegal – You make me laugh so hard…LOL isn’t even enough to say!

          • sit down. have some fur.


  23. off topic:

    polled my students today. Team Jocob won, with the boys vote of “i dont care” coming in at a close second. Although one boy voted “team bella” and one boy voted “team Emmett” because he thought he could get extra credit from me 🙂

    I am SUCH a good teacher

  24. LOL UC, I officially love you.

    1)”Plus bestiality is illegal, even in fantasy world”
    2)” have to survive on the rarest, fattest pieces of baloney and spam ”
    3)”America’s judicial system is usually harder on minorities, so that 10-15 months could easily be upped to 2-3 years”
    4)”Now that that’s cleared up, who wants to hear me explain how it IS possible for possums and lizards to procreate?”

    Those 4 magical phrases could win you a place behind a dumpster with me. Rob can watch.

  25. Um, U.C.? I would so I have no words for this post, but I’m sure by now everyone knows I’m a wordy mofo, so I won’t even try to pretend.

    Where to start?

    EPIC. FRACKING. POST. This is JUST what I needed to take my mind off the fact that some of us lucky bisnitches have already seen the movie.

    And because the only thing better than Robporn for me is organization:

    1. It needs to be said. The Youtube “Breaking Dawn” trailers and accompanying Cullen family portrait are actually promos for The Hills Have Eyes IV: Om Effing Nom. (Sidenote: Imma need a link for your “Cardboard Cullen Makes it to First Base” video)

    2. It’s impossible for Bella to have gotten pregnant during feather sex. It was her first time, and everyone knows you can’t get pregnant during your first time.

    3. No one really knows the name of Carlisle’s father. Not a problem. Everyone should just refer to him the same as they think of Carlisle when he walks into the hospital room – “Oh, Daddy.” Not too be confused with “Big Daddy” unless you are waiting on a fish sandwich.

    4. The differentiation between Bellward sex and Robsten sex involves the use of either feathers OR shredded flannel.

    5. It’s painful for readers to read such comments when they See’s all the grammatical errors and poor syntax. After a few more times of “massacring the English language” there is a lame blurb that could destroy their patience when it has just run out.

    6. ‘the rarest, fattest pieces of baloney and spam’; ‘hairy that she would start to wax at age 7’; ‘homosexual bestiality is even more illegal than regular bestiality’; ‘IS possible for possums and lizards to procreate.’ – OK, NOW I have no words!


    P.S. Can I request some Journey for the next Karaoke?

    • bisnitch? bahaahhhaahahahaha….never been called that before…i think i like it…. 🙂

    • Score for ALL of that!! *muah*

      … and I love Journey. That is all.

      • MY karaoke go-to?

        “Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin'”

        It’s awesomesauce, especially when I’ve been hittin’ the sauce!

    • “3. No one really knows the name of Carlisle’s father. ”

      I think it’s Caius. All that crap about Carlisle “going to stay with the V for a while” is … well…crap. Caius is his daddy. Carlisle has daddy issues. His “vegetenarianism” is his way of acting out.
      It’s how vampires rebel.

      I am being sarcastic.

      My fingers are still numb.

      Rosalie’s asshole is still tight and cold.

      Hmmmm, do vampires even have assholes? If they don’t , um…excrete…then why would they need it? Does it just seal over after they turn, like a cut that heals? Ever since I read SM’s explanation how vampires don’t pee I am cursed with an image of anatomically INcorrect Ken in Edward’s pants. 😦 Have I really just spent two minutes typing about vampires’ assholes? Am I gonna get booted off for saying asshole too much?

      • I dunno about the bungholes sealing over, Alvc, but after reading Midnight Sun I’m confident they don’t need them, anyway.

        We may need to turn to slash fanfic for this answer. You first.

    • “Cardboard Cullen Makes it to First Base” Um, yeah, I want that video too. It’s not 2nd hand embarrassing though, because I would never want to do that.

      As far as us not gettin’ to see the movie yet…
      Don’t Stop Believing!!!!!

  26. 2:40am Down Under and just got in from New Moon.

    It’s umpteen degrees of awesome. Enjoy the film all, and good night.

  27. LMAO – The ‘wolfpire’ explanation killed me 🙂

    It also brought up a good question when you mentioned a vampire wasting away in jail….What happens if a vampire doesn’t drink any blood?……would they eventually get so weak and die? Not expecting an answer AND I’m not asking this on Wiki – lol

    • yes. SM explains it when she talks about how carlisle discovered animals as a secondary source for blood. I don’t think they die though…just become super duper weak.

      • I dont think they die….or get weak…only vampires in other movies do that….

        SM never says they get weak from not drinking, they just will be REALLY thirsty after awhile….I think….correct me if I’m wrong, I have only just finished re-reading New Moon yesterday which doesnt mention such things.

        • hmmm…you may be right, griffs. We’ll have to wait and see. I’m not reading Eclipse any time soon…I want to bask in all the NM I can.

  28. Your “Fake” Twi-Lawyer here, just confirming the fact that the Vampire would in fact get “at least 10-15 months in prison” for beastiality.

    Great research skills, UC

  29. I can’t get past all the freaky pics in this post. It’s disturbing and again proves to me that there are some serious crazies in this fandom.

    Note to the crazies, photoshop manips of R&K as Bella and Edward, plain wrong. Photoshopping for the sake of Robporn, normal.

  30. Just had a random random thought whilst cooking dinner and knew I would get an answer from you fantastic ladies – and one man,
    anyway, if Edward is all granite and statue like does that mean he has a permanent stiffy – for want of a better word?

    • Yes, that question has crossed my mind. Since all of him is cold and stone-hard, and he has no blood-flow to engorge his, ehm, sparklepeen, this must mean that he has a permanent erection, right? Stephenie Meyer never adresses this problem, fan fic would have it that he gets one, incessantly, which makes no sense, since VAMPIRES NEVER CHANGE! Hm, I think I have the subject for my dissertation right here.

      Read in Total film that there are sparkling dilxxs now, that you put in the fridge to get a feel for what sex with Edward feels like.. Yuk! So gross! And this is why I would never consider having sex with a vampire. Frost bite in the nether regions? Epic fail.

  31. Nooooooes! Say it ain’t so!,,20316279_20320743,00.html

    David Slade better bring it.

    • “”You know, it sounds ridiculous, but I’d really like to be a better surfer,” he says, laughing. “I’d like to learn to speak Spanish fluently; I’d like to travel around, live in Italy; I’d like to learn kung fu … It’s nice to make movies, but it’s also really hard.” ”

      What an ass! You can’t retire at 40, C-Dubs!!!!

      I hope he ends up a greeter at WalMart because he can’t get another job since he never develops his fluency in Spanish and even McDonald’s won’t hire someone who doesn’t speak Spanish.

      Okay, not really, I love C-Dubs. But 40? Really? Too soon.

      • Ugh. I’m so upset by this. “It’s nice to make movies, but it’s also really hard.” HOW PRETENTIOUS AND SPOILED!!!!! As if the rest of us don’t think our own jobs are hard. And what we wouldn’t give to live in Italy where we make wine and learn how to surf. Eff him hard! He’s lost his DILF status.

        Phew. Okay, I’m over the rant. I have to be cool so I can enjoy the movie tomorrow. In and out. In and out.

        Slade’s totes not doing BD. Who’s going to do BD?! ::cries:: Maybe this was just a publicity stunt.

    • Moon, you go persuade him that we all love him too much for him to quit now! Do it for the sisterhood! We NEED him! Without him, BD is a goner….

    • StothePizza WTF, you’re just a total Downer today, first with the smooshed kitty and now this!!!??? You’re killin’ me!

      P.S. Why do I feel like I just wanna say “waah waah waah, Dilfweitz, we’d ALL like to learn to surf better, sit back and read books blah blah blah. “… It’s nice to make movies, but it’s also really hard” boo friggin’ hoo. Shudupinyerface!”

      • Because you gotta say what you need to say, abs!

        Ugh. I’m so worked up about this. Do you think the quote is out of context to make him sound like an ass?

        • yeah. I do. it has to be. otherwise….well, like I said “shudupinyerface” (actually, Rob said that…but you probably wouldn’t know that…I just don’t want to take credit for someone else’s words….you know, ‘cuz that’s, like, stealing and, like, playjooriszim ya dig)

  32. Ugh those pictures killleeeeeeeeeeeeeed me. Not because they were awesome. But your hilarious comments totally made up for it.

    Bella in the 2nd picture is like: “Edward, I can hear the sounds of those hot pockets digesting, I’ve never heard anything so beautiful before.”

  33. Niiice ! I loved your answers !

    So I saw the movie today. Preeetty good ! I mean, i’m not a big fan of the score, i was kind of disappointed with that, since i had not listen to it before, there are lots of violins so sometimes it feels kind of corny…

    There are some REALLY good 2nd hand embarassement stuff in this movie. Believe me, you’re gonig to have a lot of material for the next fews weeks, i can’t wait to see what you’re going to write 😉

    But it was good, true to the book, better shot (hard to do worse) that the first one (no offense CougaCathy ! ))

    And dude, Taylor. I mean Taaaaylor… *thud*

  34. Holy cow! I haven’t laughed that hard in AGES!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!

  35. A) If the sparklepeen has a permanent salute then in that godforsaken drawing it must be having a sex with Bella’s ear…I know he’s inexperienced but surely Carlisle could’ve explained things better than that? And Emmet? I was sure we could rely on him.

    B) ‘glittery fursplosion’ is a phrase I’m going to try to slip into everyday speech….

    Apart from that, & being an old lady who should know better (we don’t have Cougars in England…our nearest equivalent is…maybe… a Badger?) I love you all for your nonsense. XXXX

  36. Good Evening all…sorry I was gone…but truth be told I been pretty sick while I was computerless and can’t seem to shake it, so w/o warning got violently ill this afternoon and did not want to upchuck on new puter…sorry for the graphics..anyway..COULD SOMEONE PLZ PLZ TELL ME WHERE “MY” JODIEO IS??? I have looked and I can’t find her….I NEED TO FIND JODIEO…!!! Does anyone know anything??? ^-^ (that is supposed to be a worried frown…cause I am very worried….
    @Ilegalwolflover…Have you rested?? Did you dream the GOOD dreams!!! I can’t wait to hear all about it and BTW had a chance early this am to read our “Breaking News”…OME..laughed so hard I cried….seriously…we have to do more!!!
    Getting binoculars to look for JodieO…will be hanging around so anyone feel free to fill me in on anything I may have missed…
    @TS..missed our chats…how goes things? Are you gonna send me an email and tell me what your doing in my beloved Florida..oh and its going to be about 12 degree’s here tonight…up for a visitor?? lol…I’m shutting up now…..

    • Hey MidCyn, I am gonna email you. I’m so overwhelmed by how far behind we are. I have to figure out where to start.

      And sure, there’s an extra room here. There’s even a super cute toy poodle, a swimming pool, AND a copy of the twilight dvd. 😉


    • I’m here!


        • I’m sorry you were worried. I got busy for a few days. Yesterday was the first day I’d read LTT since Friday, but I didn’t have time during the day to check the comments at work, then I’d come home and have to watch live streaming of some red carpet event or another.. phew! Glad to have a night off finally! ;P

          I’m so glad your computer showed up earlier than expected! YAY!

          Spill what?

          • Spill what is going on for with you…was looking for you everywhere and you weren’t here…I was worried..truth…so glad to see you…can’t figure out the new puter..can you tell???? LOL…I SO MISSED YOU!! 🙂
            P.S. Have been thinking how you would be yelling at me, chain smoking cause I can’t find my lighter and don’t want to set my hair on fire again using the stove!

          • I’ve so missed you, too! New computers always take some getting used to, but I’m sure you’ll practice enough with it. =) You’ll get the hang of it in no time.

            Ok, now I could look the other way with your excessive smoking while you were without internet access, but now that you are back it’s time to step away from the cigarettes! (Your daughter told me is ok to yell at you about the cigs)

            For the past few days I’ve been trying to find a good design to knit into a hat and am coming up totally empty. So I’m going to have to draw one myself, but I don’t know what I want. Whiiiiiiine!

            Email me soon! I think I sent you a few before your old computer when down.

          • @JodieO..well there you are…stop disapearing on
            This computer is SO different from my old one…nothing is the same…the only thing I can do so far is open IE and that is IT…every once in a while it beeps at me (don’t know why) none of the controls work the same way and everything is in pictures instead of words like XP…I officially think I hate Windows 7!!!
            I think any hat design that is purple would be great…cause WE KNOW PUPRLE IS COOL!!! Go for it JodieO and make me one too… 🙂 my head can’t afford to get cold….I so missed you!!!!

          • @JodieO….forgot to mention that I am glad you reminded me about yelling at twi-daughter for ratting me out…need a post it…can’t stop smoking….what is left??? Can’t see the friggin movie and the stress is gettin to me….can’t eat…cause won’t stay down…don’t drink…what the hell left in life is there…????? Please let me have my cigs..Oh thanks for reminding me off something else..OFF TOPIC:.FOR ALL MY FRIENDS OUT THERE……IMPORTANT SERIOUSLY:
            I FOUND MY BC AT AGE 35!!! 0 RISK FACTORS!!! Dr. told me it had been growing for at least 12 years BEFORE I FELT THE LUMP!!!

          • Windows 7! Jealous! I’m stuck on Vista. I miss XP. Ahh well. Time marches on. It does take some getting used to, though.

            My hat is going to be green to match my fancy fingerless gloves, but maybe I’ll make you a purple something when I’m done!

            Don’t forget to watch David Letterman tonight. Rob is on!

          • Going to bed to have Robward dreams. Night MidCyn!

  37. OME I AM FINALLY LISTENING TO THE NM SOUNDTRACK on this Napster THINGY…Team Seth..what is the best song to listen to??? Would scream if I could…. 🙂

    • TS will know better but I love “No sound but the wind” by the Editors…i think ull love it as well…

      p.s. just sent u an e-mail…. 🙂

      • Hey IL…did you see my post up above…how are you doing? I thought I read sad cookie report some where along the way down here…..??? Please tell me it is not so..or I am seriously going to have to consider coming there…(after I get better) and straighten you out my friend…I will NOT allow any more sad cookie days on my watch!!! 🙂

        • sorry im trying to catch up…im not sad…just trying to impress @StotheP with my emo-ness…”cause she wears high heels..i wear sneakers…she’s cheer captain and im in the bleachers”
          no more sad cookies…unless someone bad mouths taycob, he loses his v-card to someone else,omeone is mean or if someone down thumbs me….i pwomise….pinky swear….muah!

      • Illegal, I love that song too! The last 3 songs (i didn’t get the extended, whatevs) are my fave. Grizzly Bear, Editors, and Desplat

        Enjoy it with that napster thingy. 😉

        • OH! And I also like the Anya Marina song, satellite heart. Despite how many times she plugged it at the premiere.

          • One of my favs too. And The Meadow is tops! I didn’t see it on the score cd, which really surprised me.

    • MidCyn – I was going to tell you my favorites on the soundtrack, but I can’t pick! I really like them all. I like Possibility a lot. But it makes me sad. 😦

      • Why? Is it sad music? I thought I downloaded it, but I can’t get it to play…go…

        • It’s kind of sad…very haunting actually. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack a lot lately!

          • i was so excited when I saw that they had it on Napster…hit add to playlist and then waited for the hubs to go to bed and then….nothing! Its there…it just doesn’t want to play! ARGHHH..gonna try again..I love mood music…I was not impressed with Twilight soundtrack…except of course Robs song and then its not even on the soundtrack just the movie..I think its called Sign or plays while he is saving me…I mean Bella….wish it was me…tee hee..but you already knew that…

          • Rob had two songs in Twilight, but only one on the soundtrack. The one on the soundtrack is called Never Think. It plays in the movie during the restaurant scene. Oh, I love it…even though he mumbles! The other one, Let me Sign, isn’t on the soundtrack. Bummer! It makes that scene when Edward is saving you…I mean Bella…a win!

          • @Ang..Thats it..Let me sign…OME seriously sends chills through me when I play and replay and replay….oops fingers gots stuck…I just love the “passion” in the way he sings that…I didn’t even understand what he was saying or for that matter was just the sound of it…straight thru the heart I tell ya….oooohhh hot flash just thinkin ’bout it…

          • I like that song too. The Let Me Sign one. I thought it was like Coldplay or some similarly awkward band when I first heard it.

            Anyway, I love the Lykke Li song. I also really like Roslyn, but now I always think of humpback whales when I hear it because someone’s boss asked her if she was listening to humpback whales. sigh. song ruiner!

          • @Team Seth..hey there..your still come you not talking girlfriend!!! Speak up!!! Go down to the bottom..almost missed your comment…LET ME SIGN…stopped me dead in my tracks…tee hee….
            SHITZ..I missed David Letterman and JodieO told me that Robward is going to be on…DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • @MidCyn, 😦 I gotta head off. I need to shower and sleep. I have to go in to work tomorrow, but I also have to be able to make it to this midnight showing in top form. It just turned midnight here. Squee. TWENTY FOUR HOURS!!!!!!!

  38. Love today’s post! The pic of Edward and Bella on the beach is so creepy!

    I’m actually fine if there’s no BD, I didn’t like the idea of the imprinting, maybe it was just me. And like you said, I felt like their lives together were just beginning and then Bella gets pregnant. All in all I still loved the book and I actually prolonged it because I was so sad everything was gonna end. When I finished BD, I was like “so now what? ” LOL

    • @SB – you changed your pic! I got home from work late. About to check my e-mails.

      And I agree…I would have liked BD much better without Bella getting pregnant. I liked the big confrontation at the end, but that would have happened without the kid!

      • Then whats gonna happen to Jacob? as much as the whole universe would love to rewrite ME into the book as the new girl on the Rez who is BFF’s with Leah and instant ’86 Rabbit window-steaming imprintee to The 2nd alpha (sigh) it wont happen….so Jacob needs the monster of the Loch…

        Sigh…never had to compete so hard with a kid since my lil’ bro announced that there was only one slice of cake left at his birthday….and it was chocolate fudge…

        • To be honest, it was the pregnancy that bothered me more than the actual child. I could have done without that part of the book. But, if I couldn’t have Jacob end up with you, the new girl on the Rez who is BFF with Leah, then things worked out well! Even though it all wrapped up quite neat, I was pretty much happy with the ending over all.

      • Do I look older now? I can’t see it yet, I wanted one with me wearing plaid!

        • Yep. You look more like you!

          • Ang did u not watch Letterman? Rob was so cute!!!!! I wanted to screen so bad but DD is asleep. I didn’t see you on googlechat.

            We have no heat! And hubby’s not home, I tried puttering with the furnace but I’m not cut out for this stuff. Ughh. It’s like in the 30’s right now I’m so cold!

          • what do u mean I look like me!? You mean cause I have glasses? LOL.

          • SB – no, I mean you don’t look 12! Seriously, I don’t know why, but you looked sooo different to me in that other pic.

            I did watch Rob on Letterman. He’s so cute. Ah, I have to go to bed. Really, I keep saying I’m going from here and then I refresh again. This time I mean it…I’m leaving! 🙂

  39. I am feeling so lame…I cannot figure out this blasted computer..does things I don’t understand, won’t run at all like my old one…arghh..I know I should be really greatful for the new one and I am I’m just really frustrated..sorry for the rant..
    @Ang…THANK YOU FOR MY ROB made me smile
    @ILWL..Loved the email and loved loved loved your info all of it…..and yah know what I mean I hope..
    @ TS looking forward to your email and can I please smoke outside??????? PLEASE!!!!! Hey BTW am wondering if you might have some idea’s of good places to stay in Orlando…thinking of a xmas gift for the fam…just thinkin..would like your input if you have time…..
    Still looking for JODIE O …how long has it been since anyone has heard from her???? Really worried… 😦

    • Have u thought about book club? its ok if ur not into it…lol

      • YES…that sounds like a great idea!! I would love too..but are you too busy with school??? I was trying to figure out how we could do it..wait..let me put that a different way…oh shitz you know what I mean…lol..I used to have an instant msg. and for the life of me, I can’t remember the name of it but it was a real good one..and I think it started with a B..and if we could both use that or something like it???

        • I’ve finished uni till February so ooodles of time…yay!
          Need to figure out IM and we’ll be sweet…!!!
          im so excited…

          • @illegal – If you are done with school until February you will lots of time to work on pictures for our news story! yippee!!!!!!

    • Hey MidCyn! Glad you enjoyed the Rob fix! I can’t watch videos at work so I have lots to watch at home in the evenings lately. I’ll gladly share any I think you’d like. We have the same taste, you know!

      Hope you are feeling better!

      Oh, and I noticed JodieO posted above. You might have already seen it by now though.

      • Yes I did..thanks..I was worried about her…stomach is slightly quieter but still very shaky…wish I could get rid of this thing..nasty!! Plus it interfered with my LTT catch up time!!! I am so behind!! We have got to do some more Breaking News and I have a feeling we are going to have some great material with the new movie…I WANT TO GO SO BADLY!!!! Am soooooooooooooooooooo jealous of all of you!! But happy for u at the same time!!! I will take all the Rob you have to offer…uh huh…that is what I…so good to be back with all of you!!! xoxo

        • MidCyn – All the Rob I have to offer? Hmm, it’s hard to share…but for you, I will. haha! I’m not going to be able to see New Moon until probably Sunday. So I’ll be a little behind the others. *sad face, sticking my lower lip out*

          • We will wallow together forever..or until in your case Sunday..tee hee…I am major pout face too…look close you’ll see…not pretty huh..
            Oh funny story…this am still hadn’t been able to shower and the hair was like I stuck in back in a scrunchie and then later walked by mirror and was like shitz look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman..(without the pretty) and started humming song “Wild Woman want ….” from the movie…hubs was like..”.ahhh I don’t think so, go lay look like shitz”….bubble buster…trying to make good of a bad hair day…guess you had to be still not used to the long curls..maybe I’ll go red like Victoria!!!

          • @MidCyn, bahahahahaah! That’s awesome.

    • @MidCyn, OMB! I need more details on Orlando! What’s the budget, how many people, what do you guys like to do, are you wanting to see the theme parks or not, etc. etc. I love helping people to plan out their trips to Orlando. I’m so proud of my hometown.

      • OMB???? I have no idea what that means…but I think it might be good??? I was trying to think of something for xmas for all the kiddos even tho their adults..they used to go to Disney all the time when we lived in Florida but they were young…so lately they have been talking about wanting to go and I saw on Disney you can pay over got me to thinkin..if I could get good airfare..decent hotel etc…problem solved…any thoughts….help more than appreciated…I LOVE ORLANDO BTW..wanted to live there instead of Port Charlottte…



    And, may I assure you – it was fabulous (mostly)!

  42. Okay, I realize I was only back for a hot second, but just saying that I’m signing out. Don’t wanna repeat of that other night when I forgot to tell MidCyn and she was talking with herself [oh oh!] (sung to the tune of Dancin’ with Myself).

    BTW, I just realized (and squeed it to IWL on gchat) that I’ll be watching NM in 24 hours and 7 minutes.

    • Good thing I luv’s ya…cause I’m kinda hatin on ya at the moment for that last statement…just caught your comment further up on Let Me Sign..told ya ta come down here where I can see ya…and thanks for letting me know you was heading out… ❤ you tons… but you know that….just heard the greatest song…Ang sent me….I am having palpitations at the moment….

      • My last statement? Oh, the seeing it in 24 hours things.

        Good thing you love me 😉

        Um, email me answers to my questions about Orlando. Who knows where that comment is. I’m completely a mental mess right now. All congested and headachey plus this constant internal squee going on.

        When I bought my tickets today, I was looking at them as I walked out of the box office and I said, “YAY!” out loud. Haha, too happy to keep it in.

        You will see NM soon, don’t fret. Plus you’ll have reading buddy, illegal to get through the book with 🙂

        • Just had to rub in the tix thing didn’t yah…oh so good that I luv’s ya…I WANT TO GO WITH YOU…..Ok I am better now….not really….this sucks…everybody is going or gone…well I am gone too..but for different reasons….shitz…I think I am getting sad now…even after hearing the beautiful Robward song that made my heart go pitter patter …ooohhh pitter pattinson…!!!

  43. @MydCin (Okay, you see why I need to go to sleep, I can’t even type your shortened name right.):

    OME=oh my edward
    OMB=oh my burke 😀

    (I did write a novel once in which the girl used the phrase “oh my buddha” so I can see how that could be used too).

    Yeah, Disney has that where you can do lay away or whatever. I need to know if you just want to do disney though because if so then you can save money not getting a rental car while you’re there and just staying on/around property (disney property…disney-hards just call it “property”). Anyway, email me about it. I will lose it if it’s in the comments (and you will too probably)


  44. Where did everyone go??? Teardrop…no friends….teardrops all over keypad….

    • im here…no teardrops…sorry was updating blog…

      • Geez..I was sobbing all over the place and everything..

        • What blog…where.???

          • its a stupid rant-fest at
            dont cry…i wont be online for long cause ive got work in half an hour but im all yours till

          • @illegalwolflover…I will cry…but I will spend time reading your blog…BTW where did Ang go…sent me an awesome song and video…bless her heart…it made mine go pitter-pattinson..yup that’s what it did…. 🙂

          • *waves…waves* *here I am*

            But now I’m about to be gone again.

            @MidCyn – Just sent you one more video. Let me Sign. swoon.

            @illegal – does your blog have spoilers? You know I’m on the no New Moon news until I see it kick!

            I’m headed to bed. Have to get up and go to work early in the a.m.

            See you tomorrow! xoxo

          • Ang …nope! not talking about it anywhere…dont worry…

  45. long time reader….first time commenting!

    This made me laugh out loud and spray my drink over the screen!

    saw new Moon last night by the way, AMAZING. wrote a quick something in my blog about it [link in name] don’t worry, no spoilers!

  46. Oh BTW finally remembered..(actually looked it up) the IM that I always used was ICQ..ever heard of it?? It was great…and easy to use…

    • nope but i just checked it out…let me know when we can start…squeee….I think ang is around…let me check…AAANGGG!!! AAAAAAANGGGG!!!!!

      • Just call me Angward. Like Ghostward…I am gone…but never REALLY gone.

      • @Ang..OMEA I am bowing to you…gonna go listen to that all night whilst I read ILWL blog…snuck over there and its cool beans for sure..REALLY IMPRESSED!! will have to join us on ICQ…its a great IM and we can chat all we want…have a good sleep and thanks for the “treats”…

        @ILWL..I know you have to go to work…sorry…you both will be missed but I will wile away the hours listening to let me sign and reading your blogs…loves you both!!! I will look up what my sign in is on ICQ..they keep it forever…so will find it and let you both know what it is…till tommorow…night night! Sweet dreams Ang and don’t work to hard ILWL!!!
        See ya both tomorrow!! ❤ X a zillion

  47. I have never laughed so hard IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!! Will you please explain where babies come from to my kids someday, in the same manner you approach “Wolfpires”??

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