New Moon expectations

Deepest Loss

Deepest Loss- THIS is why I can't wait for this film

Dear young teachable ones,

Do you remember your first time? You had already fallen in love. You had already been through a lot together, and then the unexpected happens. And your heart is ripped out and you don’t want to go on. You want to close your eyes and fall into a deep sleep- someone waking you when the pain has passed. New Moon is like that for everyone. I know we can each name a friend or two who has thrown the book across the room and refused to continue to read. If you were one of those people who got your entire group of friends to read the book, you know this especially well. Friends loved you after Twilight and wondered why you kept that book from them for so long. And then by the time they got to New Moon, they replaced their gratefulness with anger. But that, too, passes. And eventually you and your friends read New Moon again and appreciate all the things about the book that you missed the first time (like chapters 3-17).

New Moon is such a powerful book filled with that emotion of deepest loss that so many can relate to. This is why I cannot wait for the movie. Plus it has Rob. And the wolfpack. Shirtless. Plus Rob shirtless. And Taylor. And Rob. And was directed by Chris Weitz, DILF of the year. Plus Alice is dressed better. And Jasper has that awful wig that will provide countless jokes for months to come. And Rob. Shirtless. All those things plus an awesome story? All that to say, I cannot wait.


Fine, I also can't wait for the Jort-pack

But I have to be honest. I’m concerned that in the upcoming weeks as the press starts to have private viewings and then when we see the film on November 20th, some of us are going to be disappointed. There has been so much hype surrounding this movie that it’s been built up in our minds to be so far and beyond what Twilight was. That’s not a hard feat because, as we’ve said before, Twilight blew, but I think the bar has been set SO HIGH for New Moon that if anything is off slightly from what is expected, fans are going to come after Chris Weitz by the hundreds. I know Moon said he carries that man-bag around with him, but I don’t know if he can load it with enough rocks to ward off a mob of angry, cock-blocked Twihards. But despite this, despite if it flops at the box office (right…) and if it gets reviews worse than “From Justin to Kelly,” I think I’ll still love it. I think we can ALL still love it. And I think it’s all about managing our expectations.

Let’s not go into New Moon on opening night thinking it’s going to be like Schindler’s List. If we accept that it will more likely mirror Bring it On Again, it might be easier to love if it’s a major dud. Accept it NOW. They will NOT cover EVERY detail in the book. They have 200 minutes to bring a 25 chapter book to life. Plus they have to backtrack and include some details Twilight left out (Cathy Hardi is sipping her Ultimate Pina Colada at TGIFridays saying “suckaassss” right now) They will leave out details you feel are important and they will add details IN that you think are stupid. ACCEPT it now!

Rob Pattinson Shirtless

Okay, THIS might also be a reason why I can't wait for this film

There will be things that will be cheesy. It’s CGI and WOLVES. Big, non-existent computerized wolves. They will not look real. Cuz wolves like that don’t really exist. Accept IT now! Rob will occasionally sound British. He can’t help it. He’s British. Accept it! Kristen will stutter & blink. She learned that in when she was 13 and in Panic Room when the director yelled “Look scared” and she said “How?” and he responded “Stutter & blink!” Colors will be different. The order of events will be different. Characters will be different. Characters will be ADDED (Please God let there be a New Moon equivalent of Buttcrack Santa (Tequila Tomas is a viable option)) ACCEPT it NOW! You WILL be cock-blocked like in the book. Edward and Bella don’t get it on. Rob won’t be getting naked. There will be fight scenes to “bring in a male audience” that weren’t present in the book. Someone will wear their New Moon burger king crown to the movie theater blocking your view, and little girls will be in the theater with their “Team Jacob” t-shirts and you will judge their mothers for allowing them to come despite their age. ACCEPT IT NOW.

New Moon is a book that plays out differently in each of our minds. And it’s being brought to the big screen from the minds of just a handful of people. We are different. They are different. They visualize things we never would and don’t visualize things we do (Rob naked). If we focus on what WE want then we WILL be disappointed. Let’s just remember it’s a book we love and we get to see it play out BEFORE our very eyes! And Rob will make us swoon. Does anything else really matter?

Love your friendly neighborhood expectation manager,

Seriously, I went into Twilight having ZERRROOOO expectations. I actually expected it to suck. And I came out loving it, even though it blew. I want that to happen so badly with New Moon!

What expectations do you need to get rid of in order to fully enjoy New Moon?

Moon has a theory on LTR
Talk it out further on The Forum
Deepest Loss painting from one of my fav artists, Adrienne Trafford

273 Responses

  1. am i the only person that found the spider monkey line really really sexy? 😉
    and it kills me to watch the new moon trailer when bella’s screaming whilst having a nightmare! makes me tear up a bit every time 😥
    and in regards to this post, i wish my expectations weren’t so high because i already know i am going to cringe so bad at the wolves, but i’ll most definitely love it anyway, bad parts included!

    • No! I love the spider monkey line, too! I smirked when he said it. It was just so funny and great. And he’s got the sexy voice on when he says it. And then the bad CGI starts.

      • You totally lose “fan points” for liking the spider monkey line. please lie in the future.

      • i hated it at first but then suddeny it seemed so natural…spider monkey…monkey man…trees…climbing….

        it was the best super/natural doco ever!!!

        no seriously…it makes me cringe but in a cute way…i mean rob could burp the alphabet at that moment and ill be like “wow profound”…

  2. My expectations are pretty high; but they got so high from seeing so many clips. So I don’t think I’ll be disappointed. I think I’ve seen the whole movie from the clips – just not in the right order!

    The book is so intensely personal and moving that I realize there is no way the movie can mirror what I imagined when reading. But I’m ok with that. I know I will love it anyway.

    BTW – MidnightCyn and TeamSeth – sorry I missed your conversation last night. I attempted to get in bed early because I knew I’d have a hard day in the real world. Didn’t help! 😦

    • It’s okay! You know that you’re still cool. And remember, I’m 3 hours behind you, so it’s no biggie that I stay up all night. 😀

      I’m so with you about the movie. The book is super personal, but Chris is good at tapping into emotions, I think. Even if KStew is not.

      What I’m really looking forward to is seeing where the slutty Volterra shirt burst through the bushes scene fits into the movie! It better have made it to the final cut and not just the trailer.

      I’ve gone Twi-prude, so I think that I’ll be anticipating the movie quite hard all month 😀

      • You know, I don’t think KStew is a bad actress. Not the best, but not that bad either. I watched Adventureland last week and I paid very close attention – didn’t notice any blinking or stuttering. And her and Ryan Reynolds…she tapped into some emotions there. 🙂

  3. I will probably be one of them annoying girls you are talking about…. I am 16, just the right age to date Edward AND Jacob… (L) and i am in LOVE with Taylor L…. I am gonna walk into that cinema…. (im english btw) in my team jacob hoodie…. and scream my head of at EVERY SCENE….

    The jort-pack are my TOP BOYS….

    I love you TL….

  4. That’s what I had to do for Twilight. I’d seen enough previews and interviews with Cathy the Cougar to know it was going to SUCK more than a slut. And, as a result, I enjoyed it because it was so damn hilarious.

    And New Moon is already one step ahead with those shirtless wolfboys.

  5. Whatever, UC. New Moon is going to be so good. I think the wolves we’ve already seen are excellent! And I just watched the ice bear fight scene in Golden Compass…it was off the charts! Plus we already know how Jacob’s revealed out of order. Just like Bella didn’t guess that E was a vampire, she’s not gonna guess that J’s a wolf. Which throws off the whole Alpha bit, which plays a critical role in Breaking Dawn (which I’m apparently writing the screenplay for, I won’t disappoint don’t worry. I’ll get my placement of fade to blacks right. Think the swimming pool scene from Little Ashes, but without the second dude, and with Bella, except we won’t see anything but her butt, ‘cuz honestly, no thanks.) But who cares.

    Also, 200 minutes?! I didn’t realize it was so long!

    • it says on the cinema websites that its 2 hours 10 minutes which is 130 minutes isnt it?
      i wouldnt be arguing though if it really was 200 minutes 😉

      • I might argue. 200 minutes is longer than Titantic by 6 minutes. I don’t think there’s enough plotline in New Moon to last for 3 hours and 20 minutes.

  6. i expect to cry. a lot. i’m going to go with my 16 yr old niece early in the morning a week or so after opening, i’d like to watch it in quiet.

    we have all been there haven’t we? you know that scene where she just lies down quietly on the ground? i’ve been there.

    i’m starting to think the wolves are going to look a leetle silly, but hopefully will look better on the big screen.

    as for the sneak peek at the birthday scene, i thought it was horribly awkward – but i don’t reckon it’s the whole scene, we just got edited highlights. at least, i hope we did.

    • the bday scene was awful in that trailer! I hope to god that they have put some sort of music in there to help ease the “Shoot. Paper cut.” line

      • I know you’ve gone twi-prude, but the extended birthday scene I’ve seen makes the “shoot. paper cut.” seem a little better than in the trailer.

        • That’s good to hear.

          The third trailer is so good. I say that everyday, I know, but I just LOVE it.

          • The third trailer is awesome! I liked what I saw before that…but that third installment sealed the deal for me. I’ve watched it online WAY more times than I am willing to admit.

      • @ Team Seth: have a lovely evening! i’m about to leave work and i’ve been reading your curent comments and responding (it’s 4:48 here) and, as always, i enjoy.

        i’ll hafta finish catching up on your entries tomorrow morning.


        • See you later ambushed. sorry if you thought i was being a sassy jerk in the other comment. Wasn’t intending too, but upon the reread i realized that it seemed that way.

  7. Someone needs a hug! *hug*

    If it’s anything like the clips…it’ll be amazing.

    In my mind Weitz can do no wrong.

  8. i don’t have many issues with any of the clips released so far except for the end of the goodbye scene, from what i remember she just kind of falls to the ground and i had to suppress a little chuckle. bit melo dramatic i think 😉 since in the book she kind of lies down on the ground and doesn’t like collapse..

  9. I am going into this movie with high hopes, but not an expectation.

    I don’t think Chris will disappoint.

    I shall make fun of KStew, I shall drool over RPattz with a hint of a giggle at the rediculous airbrush, and I shall secretly molest Taytor Tot in my mind.

    And all will be right with the world.


    • Oh LMSC…Thou art so great…can i go for the movie with you? i promise ill do all the things u do…but in silence (i dont want to distract anyone)….and we’ll catch each other’s eye…nod solemnly and know that it is NORMAL…

      please dont make me go with “meh -Twilight” people…

      This i ask through Chris Weitz our Lord,

      • lmao, YES!! It’s a date!!

        I plan on going more than once, so I hope you are looking forward to in depth convo about important topics such as:

        *The fit of Bella’s jeans in the fountain in Italy

        *Did Bella nearly knock Edward down when she jumps into a waist lock in Italy?

        *Did Jacob tell the wolf pack he was tappin that ass?

        *How does Charlie NEVER know what’s going on? Seriously, where the f#@k is he?

        *And Lastly, what about orange? Green is What? Good.
        And Purple’s cool. Where does this leave Orange?

        • Haha, I love Bella’s jeans. My husband too, he bought me one to squeeze in.

        • yay….im so excited….

          i’d love to discuss those intriguing questions and im bringing a few Q’s of my own to the table…

          1) how much does the guy who holds Rob’s ass get paid in the Italy scene? Can we spot him in the credits?

          2) If we squint really hard… can we see Paul naked?

          3) Was Charlie already getting busy with Sue that he stops caring where Bella is? Is that why Harry died?

          4) Can we hum along with “The Meadow”?

          5) How much do u want to see Jacob tap that ass?

          my questions all verge on the sleazy side and i am sorry…will u still be my friend?
          *starts saving up for tickets* ❤

          • BFF’s, Kindred Spirits and all that.

            And yes, I am sure Charlie and Sue’s torrent affair killed Harry Clearwater. Along with all the fat from that homemade fish fry.

            Some people just don’t value their cardiovascular system.


  10. wow!well said!

  11. i think that was well said UC. i really hope it is awesome. i thought things about twilight were cheesey but i liked it anyway. (it might have been the giggling 14 year old girls that sat behind me that bothered me more) still i am keeping my expectations set at a reasonable level for this movie just in case it isnt awesome.

  12. I expect it will suck.

    And that’s just fine with me!

  13. […] What will YOU miss about Twilight? And what are you most looking forward to in New Moon? Let’s discuss and also we’re in the official LESS THAN 12 hours till New Moon countdown (I can’t believe I can finally say that!) Let’s remember to manage our expectations!! […]

  14. […] forget any preconceived notions you have based on the badly made last movie (Twilight) and just go. Lower your expectations. Clear your mind of anything you hope to see and just go enjoy the great portrayal of a really […]

  15. […] forget any preconceived notions you have based on the badly made last movie (Twilight) and just go. Lower your expectations. Clear your mind of anything you hope to see and just go enjoy the great portrayal of a really […]

  16. […] Moon: i even had this weird image of her in like victorian type clothes like a porcelain doll, with a little hat and curls on the back of Bella and Jacob UC: ME too.. and curly hair Moon: like the idea doesnt really even compute. but theyre saying they’re going to use some benjamin buttons shit to use the face of the girl on a toddlers body UC: right.. WHY? why not just use a toddler? they act on those Oscar Meyer Weiner commercials Moon: well it’s hard for a toddler to act older i think thats the reasoning behind it like they need an older child who can interact in an older way but the look of a little kid UC: yeah, I get it. But I WANT YELLOW KITCHEN CUPBOARDS DAMNIT Moon: HAHAHAA dont we all. “accept it now!” […]

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