Tuesday Twilosophy: My confession

twilosophygreenDear Twilosophy 101 Classmates,

Sometimes we like to put aside the funny & have real talk about the deep, meaningful issues of Twilight- because there are so many. Twilight is serious. Just like Tweed. So Twilosophy must be taken seriously. In fact I made an image to accurately reflect the seriousness of Twilosophy.

Moving on, I was recently chatting with The Quad:

EastFriend: You know what I think, “Don’t have sex till you’re married, kids!” But… I wanted Edward and Bella to do it. I was literally breathless during those parts of the book…dying…

And then I threw my copy of Eclipse across the beach when she kissed Jacob. And admitted to Edward that she loved Jacob–“but I know whom I love more.” I kid you not, like a 3 year old having a tantrum, I flung that book across the sand, in disgust…going, “STUPID BEOTCH!” I then sat there for a good minute before picking it up and beginning to read again. Love me through it. (And yes, that copy of Eclipse–I have 3–still has sand in it. No lie.)

UC:  I wanted her to get it on with Jacob for a quick second.

WestFriend: UC……I could kick you for that remark.
I am with EastFriend…I literally threw my book across the floor too. I did. I yelled in agony too. I said, “Oh no she did NOT!” and then told my family I wasn’t crazy. And then kept reading.

EastFriend: Ewwwww. You did not! I  mean, yeah he’s cute and warm and cuddly and semi-sexy. But not for one minute did I want her to even put her lips near his. Nope. Not at all.

UC: I didn’t want it. until he DID it. until he kissed her. Then i wanted it. Then i was mad. And felt ashamed. Just like Bella. I AM Bella, clearly. Minus the bad cover-up mullet-wig.

I’ll confess, and this is hard for me knowing the ridicule and scorn I’ll receive from my beloved readers (it’ll be like any time KStew makes a fashion decision without the help of a stylist or how TammyO is treated in her real life that causes her to be so cruel on LTT), but I wanted Bella to kiss Jacob back!

My kind of shirt

My kind of shirt

I did. I wanted the kiss to happen. I wanted it to be hot. I wanted there to be tongue. I wanted there to be grinding up against each other (Clearly I needed to get laid that day) And I wasn’t disappointed. Until I remembered Edward. And how I had been thinking about how I wanted HIM to grind up against me Bella a chapter earlier. And I felt torn. And confused. And unsure of what to do. So I re-read the kiss part and tried to ignore those feelings for a few more seconds.

I’m not alone right!? There are other Team Edward members who think it would be fun to dabble in a little Team Jacob action from time to time, right? RIGHT!?I mean, I know Bella agrees. She liked that kiss- she CRIED over that kiss. And she’s the biggest Team Edward fan around!

Well, I did a little asking around in hopes that I would find an underground community of avid Team Edward members who occasionally had a little daytime fantasy about Jacob:

TooFarGone: I didn’t want Bella to kiss Jacob, in fact it kind of makes me sick when I think back to that part of the book. Mostly I just was super annoyed with Bella for being such a hussy, leg-hitching with Edward in one scene and then making out with Jacob in another… MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND WOMAN. I’ll probably love the kiss in Eclipse for just what it is – someone making out with super-smoking-hot-and-finally-legal-in-all-states-including-Georgia Taylor Lautner.

Forget TooFarGone! Who needs her?

Brooke: Perfect timing since I just reread Eclipse. I HATE BELLA in this book. I really felt for her in New Moon, and I understood the friendship with Jake. HOWEVER, once she accepted Edward back into her life, she needed to see let go of Jake. He had stronger feelings for her than she him. It wasn’t right for her to lead him on.

When Bella kisses Jake in the woods, she is cheating on Edward. She committed her life to Edward and accepted his proposal. She CHEATED on her fiance. She is a selfish bitch in this story and I wished that Edward would have been more upset. What made me feel even more sick was Bella being hysterical with Edward after she sees Jake to tell him she’s made her choice. How could she make Edward doubt that she made the right choice? I do not accept that she was in love with Jake. When you are going to spend FOREVER with a person and you are willing to give up everything for that person (or in normal people terms, get married) you shouldn’t be feeling those types of strong feelings for another person. If you are, you shouldn’t be getting married or becoming an immortal. Her feelings of hating herself are completely justified at the end of the book, but yet she brought that totally on herself. Edward shouldn’t have been so accommodating to her.

Can you tell that I’m a scorn woman? I need a hug.

Remind me to stay out of Brookie’s way. NEXT

Moon: No way in HALE do I want Bella to kiss Jacob in Eclipse (the book) cause she has the face Edward in the tent after and that pretty much breaks both of their hearts! AND MINE!! I want to slap some sense into her stupid head in that book because she acts like a lunatic without a brain. She’s made a decision to be committed to Edward but then “all of a sudden” is kissing Jacob. She makes it seem as if it was unavoidable and she had no choice but to kiss him. Yes you have a choice Bella and you chose wrong!

(the end)

DOIT

DO IT!

NOW if we’re talking the movie version of Eclipse…. HALE YES there better be a kiss in the movie version of Eclipse if not that will be the biggest box tease in the history of film. If I’m being honest I want them to kiss in New Moon but will settle if we get a hot one in eclipse. I mean hello you can’t not have them kiss in the movie.

Don’t you love double standards!?

Sigh….am I really alone? Kristin? Please!?

Kristin: Oh yes, I wanted them to kiss.

YAY! I KNEW I could find someone!

Kristin: (Not done yet) because I wanted her to completely feel icky about it afterward and them not feel the spark…sigh. I was pissed however that Edward was all but saying that Bella should just go with him because he didn’t deserve her…whatever. EDWARD, you are..uh..EDWARD, stop with all the insecurities. I digress. I will say that something wasn’t right, and I called it during New Moon when they told about imprinting (Or was that in Eclipse? they all run together sometimes) and I noticed that even though he loved her, wanted to be with her, they never said that he imprinted. I was all: something is fishy here….

Something IS fishy here!! I am …. ALONE!? I don’t do well alone guys… First of all I sing to myself. Secondly I’m a little paranoid. Picture this: Buttcrack Santa in a boat at a fishing wharf singing to himself. Now replace Buttcrack Santa with a slightly more attractive female (only slightly more attractive though- he’s a pretty good looking guy, you gotta admit) Now picture that girl singing “Mama said you gonna have to make a kitty meowww” alone. Paranoid. That’s how I feel right now.

Please tell me I’m not alone! PLEASE!

Who’s there?,
UnintendedChoice

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387 Responses

  1. I will also add the tent scene is my favorite of the series. the tension- and when Edward said THIS
    “But, if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that.”

    dayyummmm

  2. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

  3. UC,

    You are not alone. I squee’d when she kissed Jacob. I did. Then I called my sister to squee with her and her first words to me were “THAT BITCH! Bella is a WHORE!” and I stopped my squeeing because I thought I was wrong in liking her kissing Jacob.

    I can’t wait for the almost kiss in New Moon and for the tongue fest that TayLaut better rain on KStew in Eclipse. I’m ready for it. I’m excited for it. I want it!!

    Hate me if you want.

    M

  4. “Who needs her?”

    *sniff*

    I thought you loved me UC! I thought we had something SPECIAL!

    *bawling*

  5. UC you are not alone!! I am Team Hot Boy! Vamp, Wolf, Wizard… I really do not care. You must try all the flavors before deciding on one you will eat for the rest of your life!! We don’t want Bella to look back on her life and have regrets about not kissing Jacob and always wondering if she should have! She probably should have kissed Angela too, just in case!

    Heart you and I am wearing Tweed underwear, so you know I am very serious!!

    • “She probably should have kissed Angela too, just in case!” …. and Alice. I’d have kissed Alice.

    • She should’ve kissed Angela. She’s so into her, and so is Edward. Plus Angela’s taller than her!

      ps-where are those bodysuit photos you promised us?

      • Bodysuit photos are in the mail 🙂

        You’re Awesome! How the HALE do you remember that!

        I look like such a slut here! I am having Bella kissing everyone and sending out bodysuit photos on the web! Really, Really I am a normal suburban housewife with 4 kids who has a massive crush on a 23 year old who does not shower, change his clothes and sometimes sparkles! Sad, I am sad and I drive a mini van!

        • No biggie on the minivan, remember we discussed that it’s more comfortable to er, “make out” in a minivan than in a hatchback Volvo.

          Also, I really do hope they’re in the mail! You did tell me that you were a unicorn though…such lies!

  6. UC YOU DIRTY HOOR!!

    I hated that kiss! Hated. It.

    I actually hated Stephenie Meyer for creating those stupid venom coated sharp teeth of Edward’s that caused us . . .I mean Bella. . . to constantly be cockblocked by Edward.

    What we . . . I mean Bella . . . really wanted was a little tongue action from Edward.

    • Totes agree…..I for one dream constantly about {Rob’s}Edward’s tongue in between my lips………RWAR

      • So it’s not just me? 🙂

        • Nope!!! Us COUGARS have the bestest dreams about Rob, I mean Edward’s lips, tongue, hands, fingers, **** and assorted body parts…….WE ARE COUGARS HEAR US RWAR !!!!!

  7. I’m with you UC. I was so torn up from Edward’s abrupt departure in NM that I (looking around to make sure I’m alone) defected to Team Jacob. There I said it. Yes, for a a brief time I was rooting for Jake. He was the anchor that kept Bella from drowning (literally) and dammit, he deserved a little Bella love. And as the lovely lapushbaby stated, I was ready for someone, anyone to get a little action.
    Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Edward but Jacob represented a more normal life. When the KISS happened what did she see? Her and Jacob happy and two little black haired children. Yes, it was brief and yes, in the end it had to be Edward but for a moment….. Who knows? Up until I caught on to the future imprinting arc. (Ugh) I was waivering.

    Does that make me a bad fan?

    UC, I too am a lone singer. Most of the time I don’t realize I’m doing it unitl I hear the giggling of a passerby or family member. I don’t even have to be alone. If there’s a lull in the conversation my internal soundtrack kicks in and off I go. I’m still normal, right?

    • I think you’re the perfect fan. You really felt the characters as the story played out. Until the imprinting arc (ugh), which was just ridic. Deus ex machina to the extreme! Stephenie just didn’t want to kill off a major character. I totes thought Jake and Leah were gonna hook up at the end until the little monster was born.

      • I thought Jake and Leah were going to end up together too…and would have liked that! I don’t love but am ok with the Renesseme thing. But I felt like Leah got the shaft! Honestly, at the end of the series she’s the only person who seems to not “live happily ever after” to me.

        • but rember, in Jake’s pack she’s found peace of mind… literally. and really what she wanted and needed. she can heal now… and that leads to happiness! … ever after…

          • You’re right, of course. Thanks for reminding me of that. I feel better for Leah now!

    • You are the perfect fan, you called me ‘lovely’. *blushes*

      …and you sing to yourself, too!

      🙂

  8. I’m not gonna lie.

    Part of the reason why I disliked the “saga” (other than the fact that it calls itself a saga…) is that I felt BETRAYED when Bella kissed Jacob! I mean, she LET HIM KISS HER. And, she CRIED over him all night…! In Edward’s arms! Edward. Who’s so perfect it hurts. But then, she hurt Jake, who’s such an amazing friend and who loves her so much and that Kiss in Eclipse meant something… that Kiss was HOTT.

    In the first book, I was all “Bella+Edward=l<3ve", but after that Kiss, she didn't deserve him in my eyes.

    I'm with you, UC… the kiss was pant-inducing 😉 Though, I think I became more Team Jacob than Team Edward after the Kiss.

    And while I adored Edward and wanted him to be happy, I find that that Kiss made Bella undeserving of him and therefore, deserving of Jake.

    *whew* This Twilosophy stuff sure hurts the brain…

    • But Edward would be happy if Bella is happy and safe, meaning not with him.

      ps-Sorry about that ridic goal in the CGY game the other night. It’s always a shame when things like that happen. Also, I so want to PM/DM/email you about these things but I can’t. Do you twitter? I’m GoTeamSeth. 🙂

      • Hey lady! No worries. Edmonton hasn’t been good for a while, haha! And you’re right. Edward would want her to be happy/safe… but there’s no denying she hurt him.

        I do have a twitter, though I’m never on. I’ll start following you 🙂

  9. UC, you’re soooo not alone.
    I’m totally there with you.
    I was waiting on that kiss.
    I’m completely Team Edward, but I admit it, *sigh* I wanted Jacob and Bella to get hot and heavy…

    So there, it’s admitted, on paper (well, kinda).
    🙂
    Now I have to go take a cold shower. Lol.

  10. Oh my goodness. I wanted Bella and Jacob to hook up sooooo bad. And then after I thought about that, I felt sooooo ashamed with myself. Cause OF COURSE she was going to be with Edward.

    I wanted them to get together in New Moon. There’s a part where they are sitting in Jake’s car after she nearly drowns (i think….) where I really wanted her to kiss him. And then she hears Edward’s voice, and I was so mad at Edward for interrupting!! *hangs head in shame..*

    I promise I’m Team Edward. But sometimes, I like a little Jake. Ok…a lot of times.

  11. uhm…..maybe i to am alone here [i definately havet read ALL 150 previous responses…] but although i wasn’t rooting for the jacob+bella kiss, i understand it. of course i’d have chosen edward over jacob too….he’s edward. but i can understand the love for jacob too. just as bella said, and we can all account for, she was MESSED UP after edward left. those pages that just read january, february, march, april [i think those were the months. lol] spoke VOLUMES in their silence. so when jacob came, he treated her like a friend and he was her escape [although just a way to get “closer” to edward through her near death adventures]. its natural that she would fall for him. and edward was her life, but he left her. and so isn’t the healthy human thing to do, is move on? although clearly she didnt ever get over edward, jacob helped her heal a little. so for her to fall in love with him is understandable. you all may think that’s crazy but speaking personally, i havent ever gone through an ordeal such as bella. to have figuratively died inside and just be a hollow shell for 6 months. we read it, but we can’t possibly imagine what it FEELS like.
    when they kissed i wasn’t really surprised because of course jacob would want it, but it did surprise me a bit when she kissed him back. but only momentarily. then yes, i wanted them to kiss [but dont mistake that for me wanting them TOGETHER]. when someone is kissing you and then mid kiss you realize you’re in love with them, wouldn’t you act the same way and kiss them back? i would. especially when you’re the reason for their pain. at least she had the courage afterwards to tell him they would never be. realizing you’re in love with someone, just to have to let them go is hard.
    im team edward all the way. but i still understand bella’s yearning for jacob while it lasted.

  12. UC, you created quite the controversy with the post today!

    I have to agree whole-heartedly with Moon on this one (about the book vs. the movie) and love the old double-standards.

  13. I hated Jacob through all the books. Like forcing Bella to kiss him and she breaks her poor hand after punching him in his dogface, and then tricking her into kissing him in the tent/woods scene.. He’s a sneaky jackass..

    My sister on the other hand.. After borrowing my books, she returned them to me and as I confessed my love for Edward, she confessed her love of Jacob.. and I of course immediately snatched my books from her grubby paws, said a few choice words and left the room..

    I love me some Edward, and abso-frickin-lutely hate me some Jacob.

    I think it’s just cause I relate more to the character of Edward? Does that make sense? I feel like I’m saying I’m like a man, or a 109 year old boy.. Ugh.. That’s Normal..

    But I agree w. Moon in that I can’t wait to see KStew and Taylor go at it in Eclipse, cause it will be undeniably hot

  14. all i’d like to say at this point… after checking this post is “WOAH!” i mean holy crap! this banter could go on forever… when you go and read then re-read these post from today it’s like… giggly girl at a slumber party… aww… i’m lovin’ it!

    But… where’s “themoonisdown”… i am missing her input today… hope she’s okay…

    p.s. i am ashamed to admit how many times i have refreshed this page… *get-back-to-work*!!!

  15. I’m going to jump into the minority here. Which is 60% Team Jacob and 40% Team Edward. Disclaimer first: I love the old-fashioned romantic that Edward is, and I wouldn’t have loved Twilight if it weren’t for Edward and his breathtakingly romantic self, but I’m conservative enough as it is in my real life (isn’t Bella pretty conservative too, at least in Twilight, all things considered?) …and I imagine if I were to be paired up with Edward after a month we’d both be wearing tweed in our rocking chairs and reading Readers Digest. Like undead 100 year olds. yawn. Jacob, however, is downright fun and passionate and I’d take him and all of his hot-blooded, hair-grabbing, tounge-wrestling angsty teen hormones any time over a cold, sterile leg hitch. I re-re-re-re-read Eclipse recently and as creepy as the kiss began, it totally melted into something very hot and that did not go nearly far enough for me —-erm, I mean, Bella– even on the millionth read-thru.

  16. so here’s my take… i just recently finished re-reading Eclipse. This time around, i made sure to try and really capture the darkness of it because for me, and i think for most of us, when we first read eclipse it was right after the high of the reunion/propsal of new moon… so in light of the emotional darkness that had been new moon the problems of eclipse didn’t really seem that heavy.

    My first go through with Eclipse the most prominent issue for me was “will we or won’t we” between Edward and Bella… and the balance of the relationship with Jacob. so yes, i was pissed when she kissed him. I didn’t understand her logic or why on earth she would think this was okay.

    however, after having read it again with a much darker tone and taking into account the weight of what the “battle” meant i really realized what emotional state bella was in. when her and E get back from florida she has an effing panic attack when she finds out victoria came around. and that was in like chapter 3. The girl was FREAKING out the entire book. She was constantly looking over her shoulder and fearing that someone was going to kill her or, even worse, someone she loved was going to die bc of her. The only times she really seemed at ease, were her intimate moments with Edward. Every other encounter in Eclipse for her held an overwhelming sense of doom and/or a sense of “is this the last time?”… which would rightly put any girl on edge.

    So when jacob, the petulant little bastard whiner that he is… threatens that he’s gonna go off himself just so he doesn’t have to deal with the fact that she’s marrying edward with the one caveat that if she kisses him he won’t, she does… but she does so in a state of panic/fear/chaos. i’m gonna chalk her reaction to it up to one of an adrenaline rush. i mean she’s freaking out… her best friend is about to go kill himself… someone in her family might die… if that ends up happening her fiance could resent her for the rest of her existence …. and it’s all because of her. hell, i’d be out of it too.

    now i’m not justifying her actions, because she’s engaged and she shouldn’t be doing that… however, i think the fact that Edward reacted the way he did is significant. He saw the entire thing through jacobs POV… so he saw the struggle etc on her face and he knew what she was going through… i think that’s part of the reason he was able to not freak out.

    I mean, the way i look at it, for Bella, it was as if jacob was standing with a gun to his head saying “kiss me our i’ll pull the trigger” … i would have done the same thing. and bc i’ve got a little catholic-school-girl-who-likes-to-live-dangerously hiding in me, i probably would have secretly enjoyed it a little. it’s an adrenaline rush… and BELLA is a recovering adrenaline-rush-junkie.

    the one person in all of this who’s actions i will NEVER forgive is Jacob. Because, as edward pointed out to him, eventually jacob WOULD leave bella once he imprinted. Jacob could promise her the world but at some point, he’d find his match. And she’d be gone. it wouldn’t even matter if she’s barefoot and pregnant with a baby wolfboy on her hip… he’d be out the door with the newest young thing in town. I mean, forget the fact that he imprints on nessie. he didn’t know that then. But the little brat sat there and basically decided that she needed to love him even though there was a very good chance that SOMEDAY he was going to CHOOSE to leave her. he couldn’t promise her forever but that’s what he wanted. His love was a selfish, self-fulfilling love. And if you love someone the way he says he loved her, you just don’t do that. you don’t promise what you can’t promise. so there. Jacob, you might look like a 25yo adonis, but you are just a wolf in sheeps clothing. bastard.

    • ROFL! RIGHT! STICK-IT-TO-‘EM!

      that was soooooooome vent there, but i thoroughly enjoyed every angsty word!

    • Wow! That was well said. You pretty much summed up my feelings on Jacob and the kiss situation.

    • You go girl! I always disliked Jake’s transformation from New Moon to Eclipse (from human to shape shifter), but you really said it right there with “but you’re just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. bastard.” bravo.

    • But the thing is Jacob wouldn’t have imprinted if he and Bella got together like Edward suggested. He is a much more true character than Edward is any day. He wears his emotions on his sleeve. He’s 16 for crying out loud, not a nearly 100 yr old vampire praying on a teenage girl, which is more than a little creepy. If Edward had any moral decency he’d have left her alone and tried to do something with his pathetic “life” like Carlisle. According to SM you’ve interpreted Jacob’s character completely wrong.

      I’m unapologetically 100% Jacob fan and your opinion just completely baffles me 🙂

      • Are you saying that SMeyer stated that Jacob wouldn’t imprint IF he and Bella got together? I’ve never heard that, but if she did … she shouldn’t have. Sure, they are her characters, so she can give them whatever characteristics, backstories, etc that she wants, but that statement goes against the folklore that she created. It’s not a Choose Your Own Adventure book: “Turn to page 56 if you want Jacob to imprint on Bella, turn to page 89 if you don’t.” the fact is, he didn’t. He never would. But he COULD imprint on someone else … and surprise, surprise …. HE DID. If the Sam/Emily/Leah story tells us anything, it’s that Jacob would have no control over his imprinting. And he most definitely would have left Bella if he’d imprinted. He even TRIES to imprint on her and it doesn’t happen. Two facts should have had Jacob conceding right away … #1 She chose Edward. #2 He could eventually imprint and leave Bella even if he never wanted to. He was a selfish mo-fo once she’d made her choice for Edward clear.

        Calliope … I agree with you 100%

        • Exactly…he imprinted on Renesmemememe. She wouldn’t exist if J/B decided to give it a go thus no imprinting for Jake. He said it wasn’t a common occurrence, and he was actually surprised that so many in his pack had. Jake couldn’t read Bella’s mind. From his perspective he thought she could get over Edward like she was beginning to accept his absence in NM. Why shouldn’t he give it his all to keep Bella alive and care for her if he loved her as much as he did? He’s not Edward, he didn’t wuss out, he kept fighting as long as he could. I personally admire his strength and determination.

  17. because i’ve read the phrase “you are not alone” about a bazillion times on today’s site… i thought that this song was quite appropriate. and because almost every song in existence that has to do with love/sadness/abandonment/reunion/sex/tension/happiness/babies/jealousy/whinyteenagers/death/growing-up/depression/etc has been used to create a twilight fanvideo… i of course had to get an appropriate twilighted-out version for you. Enjoy.

    Sing it with me everyone….

    You are not alone……….

    • OMG! *jaw-drops-to-the-floor*

      bless your twi-heart!

      you have made sssoooooo happy w/ that!

      i have had that durn song in my head ever since i read the phrase earlier this morning!

      consider yourself hugged! THANK YOU!

      ROFL & twitching…

    • dude, this video is so much better.

      that’s what i get for not watching the whole thing through.
      there is even a nice little montage on the end of it that will make us all want to jump off of a bridge when we realize what others who like the twi series are also into. oye.

      • I couldn’t get the video to work on my computer at work today, so I just now watched it at home. You were right – great video but the minute or so at the end did make me want to jump off a bridge!

    • Oh my goodness, thank you for this beautiful video! I think I’m very hormonal right now because I’m almost in tears. I love MJ and Twilight!

  18. Today I’m replying without first reading all the comments, which is a big deal for me because I super love comments, often times more than the post itself!

    Anyway, UC, I think we had this chat once already, but all I have to say is, “Thank god you agree.” Though with a name like UnintendedChoice, I’m not sure how you couldn’t. I think she should end up with Edward and I’m glad that she does, but it was necessary for her to kiss Jacob. Not for her sake, but for Edward’s sake. He tells her to go with Jake, to choose Jake etc. In fact the entire series, until she is a vampire, Edward is trying to get her to leave him (and then when she won’t he leaves her) and be with someone “more healthy for her.”
    Edward wants her to know what it’s like to have the other side, the mortal side, of things before he commits her to his side. The whole series is entirely about what Edward thinks is best for Bella. He can’t leave her again in Eclipse because he’s promised not to (oh wait, we’ve heard that one before in a hospital in Phoenix!) and because it would be a ridiculous plot turn, but he still wants her to realize she’s an idiot for loving a vampire. So he uses her emotions and previous dependence on Jake to his advantage in order to make her feel conflicted enough to leave him. Of course, Edward is still too dense to realize that Bella ain’t ever leaving until she’s a vampy herself, even if she’s still only 18 and has a touch a teenage capriciousness.
    But let’s be honest, by that point in the book we’re all geared up for the fight but also for this stupid angsty conflict of E vs. J and Bella’s internal mortal vs. immortal crap to stop. Just like on the way back from Volterra when she’s all convinced that E doesn’t love her. Ugh Bella, he does love you, why else would he kill himself when he thought you were dead? DUH. She’s sooooo stupid. I just want to smack Bella in the face for most of Eclipse. That book is unbearable to read because of how angsty it is, it makes me want to put on Nick Cave and write bad poetry while a bottle of grain alcohol and a razor sit next to me on the bathroom floor. Or just, you know, put down the book and go do something else. I think the issue is that Stephenie is trying to create a conflict/resolution in books 2 and 3 that doesn’t need to exist at all. Bella and Edward are eternally in love. That’s secured in book 1, so really only book 4 needs to happen because we don’t need books 2 and 3 to really hammer home that even in the face of peril and choices Bella and Edward won’t stray from their love for each other, we already know that due to our suspension of disbelief from book 1. Thus by Eclipse it’s just a yawnfest once we realize that B&E are still on for forever. (I personally think Bella should’ve gone all The Bachelorette and had sex with both of them in hot tubs, would’ve spiced up books 2&3 😉 And esp. the movies!!!)

    I digress: UC, you are not alone. It’s obvious that Jacob’s a healthier choice from certain standpoints, but he’s really not the right choice for Bella. He’s too tall, he’s imprinted on her unconceived child who should’ve been named Ashley Greene, all his wolfpack friends hate her except Seth, and he’s not all about eternal love–he’s still living out his youth. Plus, their relationship would end with Bella being all, “Like what? You want me to stay to watch you work on your Rabbit? Another night around the fire listening to scary stories and eating the late Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry? That’s you Jake, that’s not me.”

    • after reading that lovely written, umm, “rant” ( i say that w/ love and smiles, not sarcasm) the only thing i’d like to add is that Edward did not actually break his word to her from what he said to her in the hospital. She emplored him to stay and he said (quote) “as long as it’s best for you”. so clearly he, later, reached the point (after Jasper nearly attacked her) of realization that vampire-life was really not pro-Bella. he thought he had her best interests at heart, (he doesn’t have a heart, so in “mind”) and thought he was doing what was best for her… self-sacrificing… that’s true love in action… being able to see beyond the present situation…

      that’s all -wink-

      • Yeah, yeah, that’s all good and fine, but then what happens? Oh, he realizes that it wasn’t best for her! Because Bella’s not normal. That’s established in book 1 too! So, he does break his word. Plus, if you read Midnight Sun, you know that Stephenie wrote him as knowing that vampire-life wasn’t pro-Bella-life from the get-go, so he stays away from her “as long as he can.” He should’ve left Forks then for good. To me that would be an actual showing of true love. He should’ve remove himself from her life entirely before he became a part of her life at all. But he doesn’t leave because he thinks he’s strong enough to stay away from her. He’s being egotistical and bullheaded. He’s mortified that such an insignificant girl can do this to him, so he has to come back to prove it to himself that she can’t. Edward is selfish. It’s established right away and he admits to being selfish all the time to Bella and then she’s all low self-esteem, “No, no, I’m ugly and lame and you’re beautiful and perfect.” She doesn’t get it. Edward already knew this would be the case because of Alice’s visions, so he should’ve just left Forks for good before he even got involved with her. The “saga” would not have happened, obviously, but at least he would’ve shown true love in action, as you call it.

        You see why I’m Team WriteAConsistentPlotline?

        • I might be remembering this wrong because I’ve only read MS once. But my memory is that besides wanting to kill her that Edward is repulsed by Bella when he first meets her. And it’s easy for us to say now…knowing all that we know…that if he really loved her he would have stayed away from Forks back then. But when he visited the Denali’s back then, he didn’t “love” Bella. Or at least he didn’t know it. It was only after being back in town for awhile and conversations with his family (I think I remember Emmett and Esme clueing him in) that what he was felling was love. It was a totally foreign concept for him. Maybe I’m remembering that through my Edward goggles, but I thought that was endearing.

        • my-my-my… aren’t we sassy today?

          geeze-louise…

          i just don’t agree w/ your reasoning.

          i have read Midn.Sun (fyi), and i acknowledged that he “knows/thinks” not a good thing for her. “what if i’m the bad guy”… but when you have an inexplicable connection to someone the pull you work against is more than just a decision. he tried to leave Forks (when he went to Denali) but after time he realized he needn’t fight something that they both actually wanted. not so much b/c he thinks he’s stong enought to stay, but b/c it caused more harm than good. that’s what Bella couldn’t deny either. yes, she has self-esteem issues… like most teens. Alice also could see, baised on Bella’s decision pattern, what her out-come would be if it was her choice. at some point they both would have to make a decision and act on it. which is what they did. i don’t see him as being the way you described… not in any way that’s not superficial. life and love is just like a roller-coaster, w/ ups and downs, so w/ teen mentalities they acted on what seemed best at the particular time, not baised on the “the whole over-view of sensibility” that a more mature person would consider.

          after all… it’s a book… targeting teen readers… the “characters” can’t be expected to make perfect or completely rational decisions. good-grief.

          • We are in agreement.

            The book is interesting because the reader is presented with 2 characters that have an inexplicable connection to each other, so much so that the pull they are working against is more than just a decision. That’s what is established in book 1 and the reader buys it and believes it and super duper loves it (as seen by this blog).

            Oh, and I wasn’t trying to say you didn’t read MS, I was just trying to explain my reference to MS, in case you, or anyone else reading the comment, had not read it.

            HUGS!

          • team seth… aww…

            i heart all your postage… you are a true fan!

            once again… “brilliant minds…”

            i’m off for now!

            HUGS TOO!

      • by the way, I just reread my long post and was got to the “scary stories” part and it was all Taylor’s voice and I was laughing so hard. And I thought I put enough humour in there to make less ranty… 😥 FAIL.

  19. sorry for how massively long that was.

    • i live by the theory that twilosophy days require lengthy posts.

      • And I was glad to see your lengthy comment right above mine when I finally read all the comments. 😉

    • Oh, TeamSeth. I adore you for all the effort/thought/emotion put into this diatribe. Bonus points for “She’s sooooo stupid.” And “Team WriteAConsistentPlotline.”

      • I did debate writing the “soooo” or “so“. But after saying them out loud three times, I decided “soooo” was the only way to really sum up how I was feeling.

        Sadly, I actually took out about 1/2 of the content to formulate it into what it is now (which is HUGE). How’s that for editing skills? 😉

  20. I didnt mind the kiss. I was glad there was some action (LOL) Edward holding Bella off for a year is damn fustrating.

    Edward is a damn tease.

    Jacob –who wouldn’t want to sample what the Wolf is giving at least once. Its going to be hard (thats what she said) to watch “Legal in Georgia” in NM with all his shirtless and muscle-ly glory on November 20th.

  21. TEAM THREESOME all the way!! LOL!

  22. i didn’t read all the comments because there almost 200 and i am short on time. but has anyone blamed jacob for the kiss? i know bella was being stupid and wishy washy at that point in the book, but it was just as much of jacobs fault for the kiss by tricking her into kissing him as it was bella’s for falling for it and kissing him. at that point i just wanted to smack both of them up side the head.

  23. You’re asking a Jacob Black fan whether they wanted B/J to kiss, lol. Well, I’m sure you know my answer. They needed to. I think if you’re on the side of Edward you’ve never understood the story from Jake’s perspective fully. Jacob and Bella needed to kiss. A major part of that book was focused on what Bella would leave behind after turning. Jacob represented a lot of that.

    I also can’t fathom how people get pissed at this part either. Like a person cannot have similar yet different feelings for two people. Come on! The fact that some of you are married and fantasize about either Edward/Jacob just proves this. I digress, the kiss was hot. The kiss was hotter than the jr. high level leg hitch and the imaginary honeymoon parts in BD. Yeah, flame me now 

    • whoo! you hit the nail on the head! Kathleen02, what you put there is utterly truthful, i agree, and i applaud you for the way you put it! MUAH!

    • Oh, come on! Calling out us marrieds? So not cool, dude. WTF? You know this can only end badly, with some kind of sick “Sophie’s Choice” drama.

      Quite the pot-stirrer, aren’t you? Fistbump.

      • Oh snap!

      • Hey now I need to protect my wolf boy when I can! I’m proudly married myself 🙂 and the knowledge I’ve gained from my relationship definitely made me appreciate Jacob’s character that much more. Edward is beyond claustrophobic for my taste…give me a fun, exhilarating time with the wolf boy any day!

        …just keepin it real, tee hee!

  24. Can I just say how much I love comment heavy days on LTT and LTR?! I love the topics that you girls come up with that everybody and their mama HAS to give their two cents on…AND the best part – we all still love each other when it’s all said and done (except TammyO). This might be the cough syrup and 103 degree fever talking, but I love you guys. Can you feel the love?

    Or the cough syrup?

  25. Dear Moon and UC,

    After today’s posts, you better bring it tomorrow or I’ll be sorely disappointed. This has been way too entertaining. 🙂

  26. during bella and jacobs conversation about imprinting in Eclipse jacob says that imprinting was like seeing the light for the first time. it obviously wasnt like that for jacob when seeing bella, or else we would have known. so why does jacob still continue to try and get with bella? or is it that only a few werewolves who imprint? if they all do then im sorry but jacob was stupid for hanging on to bella like he did. but maybe if only a few imprint then he was just okay just because i didnt imprint doesnt mean that i cant get with her. And when Jacob does imprint in Breaking Dawn(terrible book btw) stephanie meyer disappointed me with the whole him imprinting on Renesmee. I could have imagined him with someone like Leah because during Eclipse they were kind of getting closer. It should have been that way. And the relationship bewtween Edward and Renesmee SOO disappointed me. Stephanie didnt mention practically any affection toward eachother. During christmas i was so disappointed because he gave her an IPOD….
    really Edward?
    Ugh i dont know so many things about the twilight series upsets me and it was such a predictable love triangle. stephanie obviously did some amazing work but some decisions that she made were terribly disappointing to me.

    • note: every one does not imprint. it was supposedly “uncommon” so Jake had no reason expect it to the determining factor w/ Bella.

      • that’s true, but then it becomes so common that almost all the minor character wolves have imprinted.

        And can we please hold a candle for Leah…that poor girl. I think UC/Moon should do a post on Leah tomorrow. A “What’s going to happen to Leah?” post…because she thinks that since she may or may not be immortal in werewolf terms, she may not be able to reproduce (or most likely can’t), which is obviously super upsetting to her. We have all this development with Jacob and Leah and then he imprints and we cut back to Bella’s POV and I’m all, “Wait, what about Leah?” And you know how I like Seth, so it’s even more sad since she’s Seth’s sister. I think Leah could get a whole series. I mean, she gets totally shafted by the love of her life by some supernatural thing (imprinting) and then she becomes a werewolf herself and then she has to deal with the love of her life’s love for the *other* woman and then all the guys in the wolfpack HATE her. It’s really a sad existence. AND HER DAD DIES UNEXPECTEDLY! Man. Poor Leah. UC&MOON! Post for the next Twilosophy class…What Happens To Leah?

        • SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Didn’t you hear? Leah moved to Bon Temps, Louisiana, got over her aversion to all things undead, and shacked up with some vamp named Eric. Yu . . . mmy.

          • She’s all wearin’ those daisy duke jorts now! At least she didn’t lose that part of her heritage.

  27. My 18 year old self would have done EXACTLY what Bella did. I think it has something to do with being a young insecure girl and getting a rush from the power you have over guys (totally NOT saying this is the case for you, UC!!). I definitely agree that it is cheating but sometimes you just can’t control those damn hormones. I realize it was supposed to be an emotional connection she felt for Jacob but Iwonder if she would have acted differently if Edward had just given in and allowed Bella some quality timewith his vampsicle. My 28 year old self was very pissed off at Bella and Edward for how it all went down but I like that the characters don’t always do the “right” thing. Makes it more believable. Yes, I know this is a book about vampires but you know what I mean!!

  28. im team edward all the way,,,but OME if there is not a HOT kiss between jacob (taylor) and bella in eclipse i will stomp out of that movie theater! i mean, have you SEEN taylor??! gah! even if your team edward or team jacob that will make you switch teams for a few seconds…or minutes..whichever.im perfectly fine with either 😉 so you’re not alone!

  29. Ugh. Jacob should have had his lips sewn to his ass. Bella should have given up the Ed if she liked the taste of dog so much. Edward should have manned up and totally made out with Victoria in front of Bella.

    Apparently, UC, you have quite the following in your quasi-Jacob-kissing cult. Cue the King of Pop – “You Are Not Alone.”

  30. I totes wanted the Bella/Jacob kiss to happen! Don’t get me wrong, I am def. team Edward but I don’t know..I wanted the drama! LOL! I wanted to see what would happen, even if for just a few minutes. I wanted them to strip off all of their close and have edward walk in on them!

    and be all..

    Edward: “What the hell is this?!?”

    Bella: “Whaddya..no..no..its not..no..its not what it…no..whaddya?”

    Jacob: “Oh for christ sake Bella!, spit it out already!! Edward, you snooze you lose. She can’t even talk properly, she totes needed release”

    That’s sort of how the scene played out in my head I suppose, anyways UC- I’m with you.

  31. Okay. I’m going to rant. I loved Eclipse. It was my favorite. Exactly for the reasons why there are so many posts today. I love it because the characters are infuriating, and they at their absolute worst behavior through most of the book. Of course Bella was going to kiss Jacob. There is no way the story could have evolved if that hadn’t happened. That’s not to say I didn’t throw the book down when I read it. I did. But, Bella had to understand everything she was giving up to make the decision at hand. She was simply making an educated choice. To do that, she needed three pages worth of make out sexy time with Jake.

    When you think about it, those pages are the most sexually explicit of the entire saga. That’s actually what pissed me off the most. I kept waiting for the three pages of Edward sexy time. I really wanted to see what he was bringing to the table besides the leg hitch. I mean, surely he had more A-game than that? That actually became my gripe for the rest of the series.

    I just proof read this. I’m a total perv. Obviously, this wasn’t a very insightful rant, since I basically distilled a perfectly good love story down to “when are they gonna to do it already?” I know what I mean in my mind. It sounds so much better there. Maybe I should just go read some fanfiction…

  32. UC- haven’t you ever heard of Team Greedy? Both! I was more mad at Edward after the kiss. And mad at Bella for being manipulated. But I love Jacob, even though I can see why Bella needs Edward. Two is better than one, right?

  33. Heck yes you are alone UC! What is wrong with you?! (and I say that as lovingly as possible)
    I am as passionate about this part of the book as Brooke.
    It did and still does make me sick to my stomach when I think of her kissing the dog, not to mention the fact that she LIKED it!
    She totally cheated on Edward and you know she broke his heart in that moment when he had to watch it through the packs minds.
    I was so ticked off by this scene in the book that I almost wanted her to choose Jacob because I felt that she had been right all along and she didn’t deserve Edward. Of course, that still would have hurt Edward and I can’t have that. Since he forgave her, I had to also.

  34. Oh my goodness! 322 comments!!! This must be good….will have to read everyone’s comments later.

    • @southernbelle: I was wondering where you were!!! tsk tsk. It’s a lot of comments to go through…I know, I went through them all. (and like half of them are mine)

      @JodieO: Any news from Cyndi?

      • TeamSeth, well I’m finally here, at 9:30 at night. Had a really crazy day, a few doctor’s appointments and then I’ve been babysitting my nephew for 2 days and remember I have a 25 month old (they’re the same age). Sigh, I’m exhausted, my house is a wreck and I still have to cook tonight. I skimmed thru the responses.

        Anyway, sorry if this has already been discussed but since I haven’t had a chance to read thru all the comments, I don’t know. I felt kind of betrayed when Bella kissed Jacob. I mean if she really wanted to she could have pulled away, but NO, she went along with it. I don’t know why she was still pining for Jacob when Edward (the perfect one) was back in her life and loves her unconditionally. I think I may have used the words “stupid idiot” when I got to that part of the book. Anyway, I think this is one of the reasons why the book is so great, you get so into it and you feel these character’s emotions, KWIM? I felt terribly bad for Edward because he could read Jacob’s mind and he saw how torn up Bella was. And then that evening he had watch and hold Bella because she was sobbing so much. Edward really loved her, I think any normal guy would have been saying “sayonara” at that point, because it didn’t seem like Bella was really over Jacob.

        Anyway, where is Cyndi? I haven’t seen her here in days! 😦

        • I emailed her… no response yet:(

        • Stephenie writes compelling characters…they really dazzle you and are sort of beautiful, you know.

          I think that any normal guy who could read minds who really loved someone would stick it out. Or maybe I just date amazing guys? Anyway, I think this because like you said, he could see how upset she was. I know that if my SO kissed another girl who he was really close with and I could read his mind and know that he was really messed up, I’d be a lot more inclined to stick it out with him. Sure she’s not over Jacob, but really she’s just discovered that she loves him like a hot second before she has an emotional breakdown with E. And how rude is E for having that conversation about marriage while J is listening?

          • @Team Seth -hi! *waves*

            I think you were lucky enough to date amazing guys! 🙂 I’ve had some terrible heart-wrenching relationships (before I met my husband)so I guess that influenced my answer. However, I married a “Jacob.” The Edward in my life broke my heart.

            I dated this guy, handsome, he was a real gentleman and kind of rich too. However, I could tell he wasn’t over his ex (I’m very perceptive, hahah). That hurt me and I had to finally tell him that I don’t think he’s really in love with me because I could tell he was still in love with her and that I thought it was best if we were just friends. He was crushed and he said I was the “one”, heck he even said he wants to marry me, but we worked through it and in the end, we both felt it was the right thing to do. It was hard for me but I did it because I didn’t want to be a replacement for someone that I could never be. And now 6 1/2 yrs later, I’m glad I did it because I wouldn’t have never met my wonderful husband. There’s no one else in this world I’d rather be with than be with him…well except Rob of course, LOL. Nah, just kidding.

            Eh I don’t remember the marriage conversation, I need to read that part in Eclipse, thanks for remind me! 🙂

            XO

          • @southernbelle waves back!

            Overtly gentlemanly like guys turn me off. It just screams false, overbearing, and potentially controlling to me. Not sure why. It always has been that way. Don’t think I don’t like being treated well, my guys always treat me well, just don’t open doors and pay for all my meals etc.
            I make fun of my SO sometimes for not being a gentleman. Then one time I came home from work the day he had left to go on a week-long shoot (he’s a tv producer) and found a glass with white tulips (my favorite) in it and a piece of paper cut into the shape of a heart that had a note which read “Don’t say I never acted like a gentleman.” It was so sweet and made even better by the fact that it was a rare event (and by the fact that he doesn’t own a vase so he had to use a water glass. heh) Needless to say, I still have that note.

            Sounds like you made the best decision with the ex. No one wants to be Paris (esp. not with those stage directions!).

  35. yes, where is MidnightSin?

    I feel like today’s commentary was from the Oprah book club.

    We are good!! And deep, too!

  36. c’mon!
    i totally want that Jacob/Bella kiss.
    although im team Edward!
    you’re not alone UC i promess
    I’ve talk ’bout this over and over with some
    friends (team Edward friends obviously)
    and we came with the conclusion
    that we all really want the kiss to happen.
    I mean Bella just want Jacob to stay so he
    wont get hurt in the battle and all,
    i get it, Bella is a Mess!! but give the damn girl
    a break she punishes herself enough for
    us to give her more pain haha!

    So.
    Good for that Jacob/Bella kiss!
    i mean.. at the end nothing else really happen
    HE IMPRINTED ON HER DAUGHTER SO COME ON!
    one kiss don’t hurt anyone!

  37. oddly, while i think bella and edward are destined etc blah yada, i am team jacob simply because he is better for her, in all the human ways. but no i didn’t want them to kiss either, mainly cos it hurts jacob in the end. sigh. missed lives.

  38. here..is anybody?

  39. i don’t think i did it right. i can’t read what I wrote. but wanted to tell my friends that for now i can’t read anything because of allergic reaction to eye medicine that i put in saturday and can’t see. getting better but only able to type with one handalso..i miss everyone here. will try again tomorow.tell uc i have my entry but cant see how to send it yet. miss you all so much. hope you get this. xoxo

    • So sorry to hear that Cyndi. Hang in there.

      XOXO

      • CYNDI! I’m so relieved to hear from you. I was getting super worried, like unsettled worried. I am in that hormonal time of month, but still, it was scary.

        Anyway, I’ve continued on my New Moon guidebook. Only read 2 more chapters tonight, but it’s coming along. With my forced slow pacing I’m making sure to really read everything.

        I’m so sorry to hear about your eye and the medicine. No fun at all. Will definitely shoot UC an email about your entry. I’m glad you figured out Photoshop enough to put it together! 🙂

        Miss you! ::hugs::

  40. forgot tosay that you better be writing good stuff for me to read when I can…someone is going tohave to shortena ll of it. missed alot but mostly laughing with you.jodie,temaseth, bet youve veeen up to no good.

  41. I’m a bit ambivalent about the kiss. On one hand, Bella (+ Jake) needed the kiss, for her to figure out that she did have feelings for him, but not enough to leave Edward for him (DUHHH), On the other hand, it made me REALLY angry. Bella went through hell when Edward left, she almost had feelings for Jake when Edward was gone, but the fact that she kisses him after Edward is back makes me angry. I also get really angry about the manipulative way that Jake uses to get this kiss. And lastly the kiss makes me sad, because this is the place where Edward for good looses his back bone. He’s been the strong one of him and Bella since they met, and now he becomes the *blah* one – This continues all the way through BD.

  42. I’m with you UC, I kinda did want them to kiss, just to see what happened and it was HOT.
    But then I felt horrible for Edward and wished he wasn’t so down on himself afterwards. He should’ve been more upset.
    But I also felt like Jake didn’t really give Bella a chance; it was made to be life and death; its not like she just decided to make out with him for the heck of it.
    And it made for such great chemistry; the love triangle.

  43. I tottally agree! I hated that they kiss in the books but if they don’t kiss in eclipse I might riot in the streets with all the tweens. I’ll push over the cars if they’ll get the maltov cocktails.

  44. I started reading all the comments and then, after 20 or so, went OMGOSHtoomuch. 😛

    But I agree with you wholeheartedly. Jacob is actually my favorite character in the saga and, even though this particular storyline is crazy/weird and a little creepy, I’m so thankful for Renesmee so Jake could move the heck on. That being said, I always wanted it to end with Edward & Bella, but the little TwiGeek in me ached for Jacob and kind of wanted Bella to pick him. There. Said it.

  45. Edward really loses a lot of his appeal to me with how he handled things in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. It’s like start lifting cars and showing your dominance, we love that! Don’t let your GF kiss other men and offer up her uterus for rental.
    BTW I love your blog!

  46. You are not alone UC. In fact, I must be completely alone in this as I was so tired of reading about kissing cold, hard lips and being pressed up against a cold, hard statue-like body – only to be pushed away when she got excited. I was ready for some hot, passionate kissing with Jacob. I just couldn’t take the rejection from Edward anymore even if Bella seemed to be okay with it. Cos you know – you just KNOW that Jacob would not push her away! So I may not be in the majority, but I was happy to finally see Jake get a little somethin’ somethin’ that he well deserved after saving her, listening to her whine and being thrown over for Grandpa (Edward…the Wurther’s comment in the post a few weeks ago just killed me! Well done!). Love you guys. You’re hysterical! But I must say I was in the .5 percent of Team Jacob fans from the beginning.

  47. That kiss was hot no matter what team you’re on. You’re not alone. I love Edward, I think I almost died during the leg-hitching in the chapter before, and maybe I’m a fictional whore but even though that kiss was everything I didn’t want during the whole book and turned out to be soooo sexy. Then came the shame. Shame but NOT regret, because I she needed a hairpulling kiss like that. I guess we can can be morally ambiguous together, lol.

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