One cannot exist on Twilight alone

To Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade & whoever has the horrific job of making Renesmee come to life on the big screen,

A Warning not to mess with Twihards:

charcoalvolvoMoon: Can you EFFING believe David Slade and the props department for Eclipse? I mean, do they think we’re blind or something?! That Volvo is CHARCOAL! CHARCOAL!!
UC: I know, I mean.. that’s almost as bad as if Harry Clearwater had famous SHRIMP FRY or something
Moon: Or Newton’s ran a SHOE store and not an outfitters. Helllloooo we’re fans- We’re the readers. We’re gonna know this stuff!
UC: Do they think we’re Vampire Diaries fans or something? Ugh

Guys- learn from Cathy the Cougar’s mistakes. There were soooo many inconsistencies between Twilight the book and Twilight the movie.

  • In the book, Bella’s first day at Forks High School is on January 19. In the film, her first day is in March. This is a MAJOR issue. MAJOR problems could happen because of the different dates. I can’t think of any right now, but I know it’s a MAJOR big deal.
  • Cabinet color fail. But love the 'stache

    Cabinet color fail. But love the 'stache

    Bella’s mom painted the kitchen cabinets YELLOW to bring ‘sunshine’ to Forks. The cabinets in the movie were WHITE. WHITE! What would it cost? Like $3.00 paint them yellow? You could’ve made Rob eat what craft services made for 3-4 days and cut his hot pocket budget back to make up for the lost $3.00.

  • And in the movie when Bella entered Biology class and talked to Eric about getting her playlist for prom, she started to walk then pauses to look across the room towards Edward. In this shot the Armadillo is not on the shelf, and only what looks like a piece of paper is hanging there. Then the Armadillo appears on the shelf only after she has sat down at her desk and Edward moves the microscope towards Bella saying “Ladies first”. What is WRONG with you? Did you remember the Armadillo and then FORGET the armadillo? What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I just don’t even know what to say….
  • And I was extremely offended by Bella’s outfit in the movie when she goes to meet the Cullens for the first time.  Jeans, a green top & a jacket? How do you think Old Navy felt when they saw that? They stocked up on khaki skirts in every store expecting to sell out because girls would want to look like Bella from the movie. They didn’t even sell one (oh wait- Cathy the Cougar bought one because she felt bad) Old Navy ended up donating them all to some orphanage in Russia. Those poor Russian girls (and boys)… walking around in mid-nineties styles.
  • When Bella sees Jacob at the prom in the movie, he hasn’t grown significantly like in the book. Why!? WHY would you do that to us Cathy the Cougar? Did you not read the book? Jacob is supposed to grow! Jacob is a WEREWOLF! Werewolves aren’t small little baby boys. WHY!?
  • Speaking of the prom, WHERE were the rest of the Cullen kids? This is a BIG DEAL that they weren’t there! A BIG DEAL.

Chris, David, poor chap who will have to make a fake baby look real, we’re fasting & praying that you do better than SHE did…… And to YOU, David Slade…. how dare you make the Volvo CHARCOAL. Chris… I better not find out that you make the Newton Outfitters employee vest YELLOW instead of Orange.

High expectations,
UnintendedChoice

How we really feel after the jump

In case you can’t tell (you definitely need to read this article, if that’s the case) I really don’t care about the color of Edward’s Volvo. I care about my friends, world peace, vintage dresses & that Edward is so breathtakingly handsome I try to hump the movie screen. Black Volvo, Blue Volvo, Purple Volvo, I could care less. I wanna cry in New Moon & miss Edward so badly, and I better see a leg hitch in Eclipse. AND the kiss with Jacob better be so hot that I consider switching teams for a second.  Yes, I’m talking to you, Kristen Stewart. You better bring it so bad that I forget to utter “legal in Georgia” and instead utter “UCsten”

The real conversation:

UC: Black Volvo? Are people freaking?
Moon:
Yes. CALM the eff down. It’s a car he got out of. and WHO CARES. It’s like yellow cupboards all over again
UC
: Ugh… things we don’t care about: the color of cupboards. The color of cars.
Moon
: Get your priorities in order people. I just want the major plot points to be covered
UC
: Things we should care about our friends, world peace, health care reform, and how hot Rob looks. If they decide black is better.. it’s for a reason
Moon
: exactly it’s SOMEONE ELSE’S artistic vision of what the movie looks like not an EXACT replica of Steph’s saga- PLUS Volvo may have said “here’s what we have take it” I care about going grocery shopping right now cause I have nothing in my cupboards and not about the color of Bella’s jacket. One cannot exist on Twi alone…

Bitch about stuff on the The Forum
Visit Moon on LTR

Sources (aka people who have WAY too much time on their hands alert) Twilight wiki and Movie Mistakes

Pic Source & Source

223 Responses

  1. In the words of Jimmy Fallon’s Robert Pattinson:

    “I’M BOTHERED!”

    How dare anyone make a movie based on a book that differs slightly from said book. What are they thinking??

    No, not really. Honestly, I’d take a pink volvo and Bella donning her “natural” hair after losing 15 mins of my life watching the end of The Vampire Diaries last night. Anything with Robward in it takes that pile of shit, chews it, masticates it and spits it out.

    The end/.

  2. I’ve seen the move many times over, and ya’ll are forgetting alot of things that they do differently.

    like in the book, Bella doesn’t even run into/meet Jacob until hey go down to the beach. And in the movie..they come over right after she gets to forks.

    or how Edward doesn’t run with ther until before the baseball game..and the baseball game is mentioned while she is at the cullens house, it’s not a spare of the moment deal.

    and how bella finds out that edward is a vampire from jacob and tells him in port angeles, not in the forest behind school?!

    the truly missed out on big key points on the book. Sure it was a nice movie, but now i’m scared to have high expectations for new moon.

    I saw twilight the movie first…and then read the books..so imagine how it felt reading..it was like i hadn’t even seen the right movie!

  3. and should i even start on kstew’s i mean bella’s wig?

    why the heck wouldn’t they try extentions first..now all i am going to focus on when Eclipse is bella’s horrifying wig.

  4. I love the books, I love the movies (even though I have only seen Twilight and NM is not out and Eclipse is just being shot and Breaking Dawn is not yet scheduled! I will love them all anyway, anytime!!) I love to make fun of them and I love to just put everything else out of my mind and just enjoy them! I also love that there are people out there that have time to worry about all of these inconsistencies. I wish I had more time to obsess about Twilight, but most of my obsession time (limited) is spent on Robbie pie!

    I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight and whether they give Eddie a hatchback charcoal volvo or long hair and a rocked out Mclovin’ van I really do not care!! I would make out with him in either!

    “2 shots for “irrevocably” ” I owe you 2 shots Janet!

  5. thank god & all the saints in heaven that i hadn’t read the book when i saw the film—could concentrate all my attention on the beautiful hobo—

    it is a great comfort, UC, that even in the midst of all this trivia you know how to set your priorities: friends, world peace, health care reform & (most important of all) how hot Rob looks—if i wore a hat, i’d tip it—<3

  6. meh. movies are NEVER as good (let alone better) than the books. I look at the 2 as completely separate things. Although it is hard not to get the 2 confused.

    I loved all the sarcasm, I’m in a mellow mood today, so I have nothing to throw in the pot except that Bella cooked for Charlie in the book, and in the movie they eat at that craptastic old diner every night. Then again, without the diner, we wouldn’t have buttcrack santa..so yay for steak and cobbler.

    • that’s what I said in a similar comment thread in another blog – it is impossible for a movie to be better than a loved book.

      Every time I start getting mad about the parts of Twi that sucked donkey balls, I remember #1 on my list of movies that make me want to cry – Starship Troopers. That book is one of the greatest pieces of sci-fi ever written, and only the bugs were any good in the movie! Argh!

      I understand some of the changes they made to the storyline for Twilight, otherwise it would have been hella long, but when there’s pointless scenes which could have been cut (*cough*field trip*cough*) and they leave out stuff like E&Bs bonding moments, yeah it makes it very frustrating and hard to understand

    • and we wouldn’t have SM’s cameo.

  7. Weitz, in NM, changed the colour of Edward’s car, not Slade.

  8. maybe JUST maybe he traded in his silver volvo for a charcoal one because it’s more…vampiric…more mysterious. Edward would do that, don’t you think? He’s terribly BOTHERED.

    🙂

  9. UC, Moon, Sassy, Jodie, Oedipal and all my new Twi-friends….I have been reading and re- reading all the posts and I have decided not to comment anymore…..I can’t follow most of what is here because its having to do with the other books and I don’t want to be a pest always asking so many questions. I wouldn’t even say anything but EVERYONE here has been so nice/welcoming/patient, I didn’t just want to “disappear “without any explanation. I HEART YOU ALL SO MUCH..and I will be still here everyday reading and laughing right along with you!! I can’t wait for all of you to go see New Moon and then read EVERYTHING you have to say about it…..THANKS for letting me “be normal” for just awhile! xoxox

    • Hello Midnight Sin aka Cyndi! How ru feeling today honey? You can ask me questions anytime. I’m kind of a Twilight nerd. Well I’m a RobNERD too so you can ask me about that as well. I promise you won’t pester me. You can PM me in the forum.

      Have a nice one! Cuddle with your Rob blankie. It’s still way too hot here in Kentucky for my Rob blanket.

      • U R so sweet…but I just feel as tho I am missing so much info and I don’t want to keep asking what everyone is talking about in the other books. Then like you said I can PM you in the Forum???? I have no idea what that is?? I can’t even figure out the Forum to begin with…definately having self esteem issues today I guess…(here is a perfect example…didn’t realize I posted this twice…lol…I type the comment in another program then copy and paste to check spelling etc., so I forgot that I had already posted earlier….such a loser) Anyway…love ya all and will definately miss everyone!!
        xoxo

        • @midnightsin – PM is private message. When u go into the forum, if u look on the top you’ll have that option. Actually if you go to LTR (LetterstoRob), when you see my screen name in one of the comments, there’s a PM icon there too. I usually comment several times :-).

          Hope this helps! You have a nice weekend hon.

          Oh if u go to the beginning of this post for today, there’s a link for the forum too. 🙂

  10. hahaha when my friends and I got out of the theatre after seeing Twilight the first time, my friend looked at me and goes “did you notice the curtains?” apparently they were not the right color. i still don’t know what the hell curtains she was talking about. i happened to focus my attention on other things, like the hot vampires.

  11. UC: Do they think we’re Vampire Diaries fans or something? Ugh

    I love you for this! I watched it last night and thought it was complete fail. If it weren’t for Ian Sommerhottie walking in in the end I was going to write it off. The other dude looked like he was trying to copy being Edward and I’m like “uh….no”.

  12. “What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I just don’t even know what to say…. ”

    ROTFLMAO! LOL LOL LOL LOL!

    • Haha, I could do without that stuttering :-). I love Kristen but didn’t like the stuttering!

      I know this is stupid but hubby and I reenacted that scene at the hospital. Me as Bella and he as Edward of course. Each time I do the stuttering we can’t go on anymore, couldn’t stop laughing! Hahaha!

  13. UC – I know what you mean about the Forks-like weather in PA. My route to work on rainy days like today (while listening to the audiobooks, of course) reminds me of Forks…and that’s the only way I was able to stand early summer this year. I’m thinking I kind of know about what town you’re in from comments of yours I’ve read…I’m a Philly Burber, too.

    Anyway, love the blog, ladies. I’ll be honest, I liked the movie a lot (head hanging in shame..but not really) until I read the books a few times. Now, I’m on the same page with you all. The last viewing of the movie was about 2 weeks ago w/ a friend and all we did was (lovingly) pick it apart the whole time (in between wiping drool from our cougar mouths).

  14. Ok, I’m sorry, but that Volvo is so iconic that you’re damn right I’m gonna freak out. IT IS *SILVER*. Dammit, Hollywood. How could you let this happen, Steph?!

  15. Well, we got our answer, since the trailer just got leaked. Look on Robsessed…Gozde already has gifs up. In one, you can clearly (fuzzily) see Robward walking in front of a black Volvo SUV. I must say, after seeing that, I am a teensy bit miffed that they changed the color. don’t shoot.

    • Wait wait, now that the trailer’s out, can we reassess that maybe Bella can only remember Edward distinctly but not his stupid, shiny Volvo? 😉

  16. how many silver shiny volvo’s have you seen since twilight….i don’t know about you but there have been a few flyin’ around the little small town i call home…i think they’re just tryna sell cars. does it really matter, as long as us dear fans get to have sweet fantasies. (straddling edwards legs while he tries to concentrate on driving?!) lol

  17. I’m still pissed Bella was wearing a brown striped sweater in Port Angeles – yes, I get it’s to add to the big reveal of her in the prom dress at the end, but WTF, that scene calls for blue – BLUE!!!

  18. […] One cannot exist on Twilight alone To Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade & whoever has the horrific job of making Renesmee come to life on the […] […]

  19. ahahaha this is so true!
    these are things i have been obsessing over.
    like if you look at the new trailer for new moon the volvos not silver either 😦

    the one thing that really really really bothered me was that the cullen house was so so so wrong!!!

  20. o and the one scene i really really wanted to see in the movie well actually two would be when they were blood typing and then the meadow done correctly.

  21. […] beard Moon: i mean dont they know thats supposed to be Angela and Ben Cheney?! HELLOOO! Next to the charcoal volvo! FAIL Calliope: charcoal is the new silver Moon: suv is the new panty dropper Calliope: and […]

  22. I was JUST THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING! Didn´t these people read the book? Are they doing some fan fiction adaptation ´cause let me tell you I totally would re-make some of those ff into movies ´cause they´re frikking great! but WTH happen to the car… don´t these people know it´s suppose to be a SHINNY SILVER VOLVO?!?! I can´t even think what they´ll do to the wedding in breaking dawn (or dOwn?)! Where the money to the budget is going in this movie? Not the make up or art dpt that´s for sure!

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