Letters to Twilight in 10 words or less

Dear LTT-ers,

Just the other day I was talking to UC about how I wished I could just post two word letters or even three (go for the gold Moon!) because sometimes less is more especially when you see shiz like this:

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Dear Rob and Kristen,

Be less predictable.

Love your pal,

So I decided to summarize the following Twi-news, pictures and what have you in 10 words of less… can I do it and still be semi funny? Will you love me when I fail miserably?

Let’s see shall we?

Your faithful servant,

Take the cut to see if I can do it!

Rob and Taylor face off at the boxoffice on the same day

Rob and Taylor face off at the boxoffice on the same day

Dear News Outlets in desperate need of a story that pits Team Edward and Team Jacob against each other,

No deciding needed: double feature!


[ News: Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner’s cinematic showdown, where will you be? ]

Music to wear your banana suit to

Music to wear your banana suit to

Dear 100 Monkeys who are giving away 2 free tickets to their next show,

Do not want to sweat or listen to your music.

100 Moon-keys (see what I did there?)

[ News ]

Dear Ben,

You sound like John Denver.


[ News: 30 second clip of Meet Me on the Equinox leaks ]

cover art @ newmoonthesoundtrack.com

cover art @ newmoonthesoundtrack.com

Dear whoever runs the New Moon soundtrack website,

You should probs run the official site too! Listening Summit?

A billion smooches,


Death Cab for Jacob

Dear Chris Walla of Death Cab,

I think I’m in love, you called Edward an “A-hole.”

I will follow you into the dark,


Whatdaya think? Did it work? What news did we miss? I also just figured out that 10 words or less thing would have fit into our week of 10’s also but it is now the week of 9’s. Oh well.

Rob and long hair? Over to LTR you go!
Can you speak in 10 word sentences in the forum today?

Sources: The interwebs, our trusty readers, Robsessed, Twicrack, New Moon Movie. Where else do you go for news? DUH!

129 Responses

  1. ROFL!
    Hahaha still funny.
    Actually reminds me of a chick’s mag I flicked through the other day that answered 100 sex questions in 25 words or less haha


    • “Still funny?”
      Ummm, I have nooo idea what I meant.
      I think I had a brain fart.
      Let’s just edit that out and make it “Hahaha funny as always.”


    • wow sex questions in 25 words or less i gotta see that! they should do it in 10. up, down, side, side, yes! YES!

  2. Call me crazy, but when I saw the shopping picture I was like why the eff are they standing by a white cardboard thingie. Then I saw legs attached to cardboard and got.

    I’ll take my coffee IV now.


    PS. Rob, I’m coming up there to feed you at least 3 Juicy Lucy’s a day. Please start looking healthy before I weep.

    • **** got it **** See what I mean about the coffee?

    • Ha!

      I thought the same thing when I saw that pic last night!

    • LOL I was so confused when I saw that pic too…I was thinking “why the hell did moon put up a pic of a homeless man and a 12yo boy next to a white cardboard sign?” LMAO Then I saw who it was and died a little inside…Rob’s looking not so healthy these days…aww sad 😦

    • Tru dat. There needs to be a “heroine chic” photo file – include above pic and yesterday’s posted lovely apple disaster (which I always thought was a fake picture, but yesterday discovered not true! Yikes!).

    • He is looking rough. I want to hug him and then feed him. I’d make him homemade chicken pot pie. And then a hot pocket for dessert.

    • Yes, he’s too skinny … and looks gaunt and sad … but why? Why Robbie? What’s wrong?
      Do you miss home? No good cheeseburgers in Vancouver? Do you need a international food festival? I’m sure all of us would be willing to send dishes of our country (or state), you know: tacos, paella, tapas, pupusas, arepas, empanadas, enchiladas, sushi, chop suey, some Française Cuisine… you name it and we’ll send them… just … eat something

      “Music to wear your banana suit to” LMAO!!!!!

      • He is looking kinda rough. He looks sad. Or pissed. Or both. I guess I would be too. He needs a cookie. He should come here. I will bake him cookies, and he will feel better.

      • Mullet is sucking the life right out of him. Who is the vampire now?

    • Had the same reaction to the white thing! I had to zoom in to figure out what it was. Moon – did you guys put in the white rectangle, or is that how the pic is making its way around the interwebs?

      Well, shopping at the vintage shop is pretty predictable, but at least he’ll have some new (to him) shirts?

      And I think he looks unwell because he misses me, I mean, New York!

      • i wanted to make a joke about them standing with a white box too but couldnt make it work. oh wells.

        and yes that’s how it looks all over the interwebs. obviously whoever is in the pic needs to learn the eclipse ribbon trick! hello!

    • ps pink dolphin are you from LA?! theres a place here that has juicy lucy;s and ive never seen that anywhere else!

  3. I can’t help but feel a little wierd about the 100 Monkeys contest. It’s almost like they are pimping Jackson out to get people interested in their show. It’s even weirder if Jackson came up with the idea… “Hey, guys… Let’s have a contest where *I’m* the prize!”

    And I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought Edward was a bit of an a-hole in New Moon. Everyone always wants to defend him when I think he needs a swift kick to the nads.

    Now off to find my passport and fill out some.. uhh.. forms..

    • So with you on the a- hole Ed….I know I haven’t read the book but from all the talk and the clips…I cannot believe Ed-ass leaves Bella over Jaspers attack…what the hell??? After all that happens in Twilight and he leaves her for a cut arm???? I volunteer to hold him(chills) while you throw a good kick his way….

      • Tag team! Edward should know better than to mess with the Mainiacs!

        • Oh sooo very true…We are a force to be reckoned with!! BTW don’t kick him too hard…we don’t want to “damage” anything!!

          • I can kiss it and make it better after he’s learned his lesson.

          • @JodieO……….I know what the O stands for in your name…..OOOOOOO so naughty…(but nice) lol!!!

            Freezing here last night ..arghhh…Blanket Rob kept me warm and toasty tho…

          • What part of Maine are you in? It’s been so cold at night in the Northeast. Boooo…. And what’s up with the leaves changing already?

          • Dear god, are both of you from Maine?!?! I smell a trip to Dysart’s for dinner and Margarita’s for drinks coming on! I love when it gets chilly at night like this. Perfect sleeping weather.

            I’m in the Bangor area. What about you ladies?

          • I’m from MA, but ME is my second home.

            Odepial Art is from ME too! I want to do a pre-New Moon, pre-winter get-together!

          • @Katie and @MidnightS – We should definately try to stage a Maine LTT-con. =) Send me a message on the forum (it’s fun there… join us… you know you want to!) or email me at: rizzo141 (at) yahoo dot com

          • @Katie S and JodieO….First where is our partner in crime Opedial??? missing her….I am from the foothills of Maine and it is freezing…and yes the colors are changing already…we didn’t even have a summer!!

            So I am thinking….we almost have enough people to get me (drag me) out of this house and go see NM…add in Sassy and her travel acc. that she won’t get through TSA with and we just might pull it off….I SO WANT TO GO and what better than with all of you …<3

        • Barely hold my own here, can’t figure out the Forum…sorry….such a loser….

          • Nah, it can be confusing. If you do actually want to play on the forum let me know and I’ll help you figure it out. =)

          • @JodieO…been there several times..really don’t understand it..do you have join or become a member etc.? How is it different than here?

          • You don’t have to register to read posts on the forum (I don’t think), but you do need to register if you want to post yourself.
            The forum has a lot of differences from commenting. You can send private messages to people; we have different threads for posting hot photos of Rob (drunk Rob, gimpy footed Rob, etc), we have places to tell your stories of how you met one of the Twi-celebrities, places to talk about the Twi books, to talk about the Brit Pack, etc. There’s lots of different places to explore, so I know it can be overwhelming.
            I’d suggest starting in Rob’s Flat. We have a new ‘chat’ thread start up every morning and it’s a good place to get your feet wet. Everyone is friendly and we have lots of fun.
            Hope to see you there sometime!
            That goes for everyone out there!

          • @JodieO thanks for the all the info…. The forum seems really complicated for me…..I get overwhelmed with info and can’t process it… Truthfully, after I sent the letter to Uc & Moon and they posted it I was so nervous. I didn’t know how it would be received. Then when people responded so generously and made me feel so welcome despite the fact that I have this brain injury.. I decided to take a chance at posting something, I am so greatful that I have found a place that I can be myself and feel like I have “friend”s again! Most them as crazy as me!! I can’t tell you how hard its been being isolated in the house for the last 3 yrs and how nice it is to have a place to feel “normal”….but I don’t want you to think that I am not trying to explore the Forum, its just really hard for me to “get” new things. I will keep trying to figure it out…but it might take me some time! 🙂

          • OOH! Is this Cyndi? I was wondering where you’d gone! =) I had no idea you were a fellow Maine-ah! Don’t worry about the forum, I poked around in there for a few months before I jumped in there, too. It is confusing and overwhelming at first. If you decide you want to give it a go, just let me know and I’ll help you out. =)

            Now go get some blankies because it is COLD!

    • i know so weird that they advertise it “JACKSON and the 100 monkeys”


      well at least they understand what the main draw is

  4. 9 words, 90 words, 9000 words… funny as always!

  5. Do you all like that new song?

    It seems to be so obviously about the movie. Not sure that I like that. Maybe I just need to hear it all.

    • Not that crazy (ok I am) but not about the song. Personally I could go for more Rob songs in any movie…I have to keep hitting replay watching Twilight as he “sucks” Bella’s arm and croaning out “Let me sign!!! ahhhh

    • i heart death cab so i cant wait to hear the whole thing and not just 30 secs. especially since it starts to get really interesting right when they cut it off…

  6. Dear Whoever-is-choosing-music-for-the-New Moon-movie:
    So far so good!
    Me 🙂

  7. Dear Moon:
    What the hell are you talking about this a.m?

    (I did it in only 9!)

  8. “Music to wear your banana suit to” LMAO

    Argh when I saw the new Rob picture the first thing that crossed my mind was:

    If I would have seen that picture one year ago, I would have thought it more likely to be sitting here, raising my own 5-year-old sextuplets, than to be swooning over that man. Oh and that includes the odds of getting pregnant, giving birth and babies turning into toddlers, within one year.

    But unfortunately I saw it yesterday and I still think he’s hot.

  9. I love the banana. It reminds me of Donovan and his electiric banana. Great pics http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

  10. Shouldn’t KStews color be growing out by now? And be getting longer? Not still looking like hot trannytrailermess. She should just shave it all off and start over…wear wigs for awhile I hear that Kim Z from Real Housewives of Atlanta has a new wig line.

    I don’t mind her at all…just wish, gah, I don’t know what I wish but it sure isn’t what she’s doing now.

    And Rob needs to get some burgers in his system STAT!!!

    • I think she like the mullet. She hasn’t done anything to change (fix) it and didn’t want extensions, so I’m guessing she wants to keep it.

      Maybe in her next movie she plays a harsh-looking homeless tranny?

      • You know…I thought that. Her next movie is the one that her mom wrote or is directing or something nepotistic. Didn’t I read she and NReed play girls trying to look like boys? Or did I make that up?

        • It’s called K11,I think, and she and NR actually play male characters.

          Maybe that’s why she spends so much time with Rob-she’s learning to be a boy.

        • I am concerned for Nikki Reed that she is going to have to look like a boy for K11. Where oh where is she going to put her boobies and womanly curves (love her figure). The big handbags will def. come in handy.

          That must be why Kristen never carries a handbag – she’ll not be needing one. Seriously girl you are missing out on one of the great joys of being a woman by never using a handbag (purse I should say in US-speak I realise). Just because you already HAVE the other great joy in the world currently known to womankind (*sigh – teeth nash*) doesn’t mean you have to miss out on handbags dear …

          • Did you ever see…Hillary Swank in that one movie? She took medical wrap and strapped those bad boys down…It can be done. I would also hate to see NReed cut her actual hair to be a boy in a movie.

          • You’re right I’ve never seen her carry a purse. Hmmm. And she’s not into high heels either. She sure likes those tennis shoes. She’s got them in every color.

  11. “Dear Rob and Kristen,

    Be less predictable.

    Love your pal,

    Love you for making me giggle, moon.

    • it’s just all so obvious at this point. i want to send them a copy of that pic and letter just so they can see

  12. Um…Rob looks really thin. Has a Twi-Mom started a campaign to feed him yet?
    😉 Heh-heh.

    And, ah…I just realized I leave the house most days looking like the Stew in that pic…OMG! Is that what I actually look like!!!!!!!!? Time for a image makeover stat!
    *throwing hoodies and skinnys out the window*

  13. TOTALLY sounds like John Denver. What is that? The sound of me weeping.* Still awesome though.

    *not at Denver fan.

  14. Oh hey you posted my picture! LOL.

  15. I had to laugh out loud over chewing my bagel smeared with cream cheese. “100 Moon-keys” Funny as hell. Thanks for making me choke on my breakfast.

  16. Everytime I see that picture of Rob and Kristen I hear the song ‘Upgrade You’ by Beyonce’ and I wish that Kristen would listen and take note. He’s had a bit of a downgrade since their ‘hook-up’.

    Maybe she told him that she’d love him no matter what and he’s testing her.

    • You know…you have a point. Since they have ‘been together’ he has really taken a turn for the worse. While filming RM he seemed carefree (as much as could be given the situation) and healthy/happy…now he’s just entirely too emo.

      If he starts cutting himself…we need to send in an intervention force.

      • I volunteer to go …I’m just saying…with you on the intervention force…….

      • I agree. He looks exhausted and haggard. An intervention sounds promising. 🙂 While at it we all should pitch in and buy him some new clothes, shoes and accesories.

        • “While at it we all should pitch in and buy him some new clothes, shoes and accesories.”

          Admit it! You just want to get him naked.

          • “Admit it you just want him naked”
            OMG I just fell off my couch (still clutching Blanket Rob!!
            I WILL leave the house for that shopping trip….

          • *Blushing* Well of course dear, who wouldn’t want to see Rob naked? LOL. Hopefully my husband won’t see this comment. He likes to lurk here, haha.
            @Midnight sin – I got a Robert blanket…well actually it’s got Kristen in there too.

            OK girls let’s go shopping.

          • @southernbelle how can you possibly share being all warm and fuzzy w/ “Blanket Rob” (as I call him) with Kstew….kinda kinky don’t ya think…lol….I just want Rob..I mean Edward…I mean Rob…keeping me cozy!!!

        • @Midnightsin – You’re funny! I know but well it’s the only one they had for sale. Which one do you have? This one is Edward and Bella. Got if from FYE. I got a pillowcase too, actually a gift from my brother(he made it) to my daughter on her b’day last week. 🙂

          • MIne is just like Rob/Edward’s poster….the one that shows just his face and then it says Edward in huge letters (like I wouldn’t know who it was..paaleeasse!!) and then Twilight underneath his name….
            My son’s fiancee’ sent it to me! Think she is trying to get brownie points…lol…cause she also sent me a Twilight shirt….(its working but I am going to drag it out..who knows what she will send next…lmao!!!

          • @MidnightSin – yeah I’d say ur future DIL is scoring some brownie points! Be nice to her! I know how that feels, been married for 6 1/2 yrs and my MIL still can’t accept me.

            Btw, I like your blankie better, just Rob, I mean Edward in there.

            I’m too much of a closet fan to wear a Twilight shirt! You should wear it when you see New Moon! :-). Oh another thing, I saw a Twilight messenger bag. My mother wanted to buy it. Sheesh. She’s reading Twilight right now. In her deeply accented voice she exclaimed: “Robert is hot!”

          • @southernbelle…the shirt is not a problem….I never leave the house so I can wear it in all its glory!!! No one here objects because its kinda like my badge of honor….to better understand…read Tear Jerker Thursday post …it is a letter that I wrote and UC/Moon posted it…its probably under August section as it was the last Thursday of that month….BTW I like the DIL to be…but that’s our secret…lol

  17. Like Whitney said I will always love you even if you don’t make me laugh one day (and today was not that day). If you hear otherwise you should post pics and have commenters caption in 3 words or less. Not so easy).

    I hope with Eclipse the media will get creative and do a Team Riley vs. Team Edward. That is fo sho a double team I would do.

  18. Aahhhh, I can’t listen to the new song at work and I haven’t heard it yet. 😦

    Why would they put Rob and Taylor’s own films up against each other? That is just wrong!!!

  19. I think I would very much like to sign the letter to Chris Walla with you… if you don’t mind.

    Side note: why does Rob look so waif-like in that picture? Ugh. Boy needs to get himself some In-N-Out. The emaciated thing is not working for me.

  20. Dear UC:
    Nice try..know that is YOU with Robsten !

    (again in 9 lol)

  21. Dear Moonie,
    I’m leaving comments from Canada! Squee!

    Could you photo shop me a maid badge for the hotel?


    Ps, this post was full of enormous win

  22. “I think I’m in love, you called Edward an “A-hole.”

    Hahahaaaa. Love it.

  23. Dear Moon,

    You are funny.

    I heart you.

    That is all.


    (9 words!)

  24. 9 words?

    Feeding off love
    Like a drug
    Downside: No munchies

  25. dear moon,

    i missed you—

    i heart you—

    that is all—


    (9 words)

  26. Dear Publicity People,

    Nice spin on the “vintage stoor” photo….clearly it is the $0.50 day at the goodwill.

    Much Love,

    We ain’t that stupid
    a.k.a. obird

  27. A post is always a win with Marty the Bananager!

    I love Marty.

    2 Free tickets, huh, only if I don’t have to listen and I can just hang out with Jackson on the bus!!

  28. Dear Moon,

    I no longer love you and you fail (made Brookie laugh), except that I mean the exact opposite.


  29. PS, like Moon & UC I obviously can’t count.

  30. Nice to see LTTers baking cookies for a good cause!


  31. OMG.. “I will follow you in the dark” I love you SO bad….

    also people ‘kinda’ liked it.. you got 4/5 stars (i gave you 5 btw)

  32. LMAO about Ben sounding like John Denver! Good/hilarious comparison!

  33. Sound track? that was the sound track?
    god.. talk about sucking a lemon.. blahhh..

    fyi; John Denver, had a better voice than Ben.
    oye veh!
    ps (good descriptors moon!).

  34. I loved that he called Edward and A-hole so funny. Btw Team Jacob but don’t really think that Edward is really an A-hole lol.

  35. Succinctness win!

    (so maybe I had to check the spelling in the dictionary, but I got it right so now I feel accomplished)

    Moon, you can be funny in any sentence length. You are gold at captions too, which by their very definition are short snippets of hilarity.

    This reminds me of The Four Word Film Review – my favourite is “Dead Cedric = Undead Edward”

    Also, who the f-balls owns a hoodie that heinous and actually wears it in public?! My DH owns tracksuit pants in that material and I would kill him then die of 2nd-hand embarrassment if he wore them outside the confines of our living room.
    Memo to KStew: You make millions of dollars! If you’re going to insist on dressing like a homeless person, at least pick failsafe colours like black! Or you could just, you know, hire a godamn stylist to beat you over the head with a *nice* jacket for 15 mins until you see the error of your ways!

    It’s such a shame, she used to look nice.
    Also I’ve seen her carrying a handbag once.

    • Wow she looks good there! I love the purse! It’s large, hey that could work as a diaper bag for me.

      I feel like Kristen’s let herself go. Can’t wait to see what she’s gonna wear at VMA. Can’t wait to see what Rob’s gonna wear and say VMA. 🙂

  36. […] Letters to Twilight in 10 words or less Dear LTT-ers, Just the other day I was talking to UC about how I wished I could just post two word letters or even […] […]

  37. OK holding huge bucket nearby so I don’t get anything on Blanket Rob…BIG MISTAKE checking out Vampire Diaries….OMG……good thing I will forget it by tomorrow….For all that is holy….may I never remember to watch it again!!! Oh need that bucket ….now!!!!

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