Dear very understanding LTTers,
You know when you have one of those nights as a vampire blogger when you know you’re going to have a late night dinner with friends, so you prepare ahead and draft up a quick idea of a great “Twilosophy” for the next morning, send a quick e-mail off to a group of vampire experts to consult for ideas & funny one-liners for the post you’ll work on when you come back from the late night dinner, no matter what time of night it is? Have you been there? Did you also forget to consider the amount of wine you’d consume at said late night dinner?
What does one do in this case when you get home after consuming 7 bottles of wine between 6 friends in 3 hours and the draft you so wonderfully started writing before you left for the dinner apparently isn’t as great as you’d hoped and only contains 3 run-on sentences and a rant about Rob Pattinson needing to come out of hiding?
Panic. That’s what you do.
Until you remember that you saved a very special post for the very special day when you would make a very special move and dance in the kitchen of your friend’s home to Lady Gaga while singing into an empty bottle of wine while being swung around by your friend Ryan who is declaring, not so subtly, “UC- can you see the Unicorns? [he means real unicorns] Do you want to ride a unicorn!? Rob Pattison has the head of a unicorn. Look- it’s Rob Pattison with a unicorn head. And he is biting pillows.” [True story. All of it.] To all of you girls in the Rob’s Flat Chat over on The Forum, you saved my ass with your amazing Twi-Cast Porn.
Twilight has the hottest cast, and you girls made them so much hotter!
Enjoy these while I enjoy my hangover,
UnintendedChoice
Many More after the jump!
You girls are amazing!!! THANKS AGAIN! XO
Go meet the amazing Twi-Porn makers on The Forum
Last I heard from Moon, I texted her telling her I was “drinks” and to tell our friend Ashley “high” for me. Hopefully she posted something sober over on LTR
Filed under: Alex Meraz, Ashley Greene, Christian Serratos, Kellan, Nikki Reed, Peter Facinelli, Taylor Lautner, Taylors Dad | Tagged: alex meraz, Ashley Greene, big-daddy lautner, Christian Serratos, drunk blogging, hangover, kellan lutz, nikki reed, Peter Facinelli, Rob, rob pattinson, Rob Pattison, Rob's Flat, Taylor Lautner, Twi Cast Porn, twi porn, Twilight, Unicorns |
Letters to Twilight 
Bahahaha!
Ohhhhh UC that is simply hilar!
Cure the hangover with plenty of Rob and perhaps a re-viewing of Twilight.
Failing that, some painkillers and a fry-up should do it.
Xox
I love how you squeezed (literally) Filet o’ Fish into a post about the hot Twilight cast. Y’all are so generous.
Lu, He happens to be my absolute fav! true story
UC…was I there last night with you??? Did I enjoy myself??? How much wine was it that I drank…..cause I feel like you sound and I have no idea what the hell your talking about this morning…..lmao…loved the pics tho…I think…. 🙂 Glad “we” had so much fun!!!!
Oh Cyndi it was SO much fun! We flew up to VanCity & you met a handsome young actor named Rob. He asked for your number but you told him you’d forget about him in the am and he walked away disappointed. Can’t wait until next time!
X
(ps you’re so hilarious)
UC who are you fooling??…certainly not me…you shoved me out of the way…whispered in Rob’s ear that I was damaged goods…..and off the two of you went…I got lost and ended up drinking a bottle of wine by MYSELF and hugging a shirt that Rob dropped in his haste to go with you……That’s ok though…NEXT time!!!!…I am already planning…..hmmmm
BTW…don’t bother trying to deny it…I have the wine soaked Post-It to prove it…..ok…the writing is pretty blurry but proof nonetheless!!
X
You crack me up. I’m so glad you comment. =)
@JodieO
Thanks I am so happy to have a place to come to w/ such great people….believe me…..its no fun being stuck in the house w/ no one to talk to or share a laugh…..except w/ my bird Maxie….and she mostly tells me “Go to hell” over and over.. TRUE STORY!!!
Every one here as made me feel welcome and I am adopting all of you! <3….except for maybe UC after her romp w/Rob last night….ahhh hell, her too… ❤
Alright alright alright. Drop the charade, Cyndi. We all know the truth behind your “condition”…..and it has to do with the MIND BLOWING SEX YOU HAD WITH ROB…LITERALLY!!!!
Cyndi, I know I’ve been proposing on here a lot lately, but will you please be my fakelesbian life partner? I would totes not mind having to haul ass after you when you wander off. And if people start to stare I’ll just tell them she’s not drunk, she’s just crazy, and that’s my kinda crazy, so back off bitches!
love, love, love your hilariosity!
@Robjunkie…. never thought in a milion years I would say this….but yes Robjunkie….I would be so proud…of course you do know that sometimes my wandering off can come in handy….like if I were to wonder off in Vancity and onto the set…you of course would have to come find me….then I woud be like..” I know I work here, I just don’t know what I do…and this is my “partner”….so many options…. 🙂
Peter’s pants were made of the last couch that crossed his path.
The Flat Chat IS full of funny! Wish I could take credit for helping out with these. =) Y’all are great!
Who is that in the first photo?? Where’s Jackson and Rob??
LTT’s BFF…the one, the only, I-wish-I-was-a-lesbian-because-she’s-so-effing-hot…ASHLEY GREENE!!!!
On the 8th day God created Ashley (and Rob) and said…this is good. And then He rested.
Morning Sassy…..just a lil correction if you don’t mind..on 9th day while asleep God created me….that is when he decided he better stay awake and pay attention….
Good thing I am one of those. Lesbians I mean.
Lucky bitch. 🙂 I’m not a lesbian, but I think if I had a chance to do Ashley Greene, I totally would.
I would totes not mind Rob tapping that. I mean, what is wrong with that boy? Is he so blinded by little miss mullet that he can’t see the pile of delicousness in front of him?
Team Robley! (um, that was lame) Better name anyone?
Ashbert???? Haha
Oh believe me, there are tons of Jackson and tons of Rob… and seriously who wouldn’t go Lez for Ashley? That and it helps draw in those unicorns!
i didn’t post them all!
Oh UC…you don’t know what you do to me when you post pics of Big Daddy Lautner!!! Damn!!!! I think I may need a shower now…LMAO 😀 No but seriously some of these pics are…omg words can’t even describe it ;)…thanks for the eye candy! 🙂
I love it when you call me Big Papa!
WIN!!
I had a classmate in my all girls high school who insisted that our young, male teacher refer to her as Big Papa.
Just thought you should know.
Love the sexy librarian pic.
I will have to remember to use that line.
So I’m pretty sure these were all made during a friday chat crunk session, but I’m having a hard time recalling that fact.
God I love the “big papa” one and the Kellan ones, wasn’t there one with Kellan’s nipples, or did that get cut?
Nice way to perk up this morning, and I love how it’s an equal opportunity porn post, you got lots of the twi ladies and even big daddy in there!
They absolutely were made during a friday crunk session!! I faintly remember it haha!
There was a Kellan nipple one I think, but there were tons of good ones to choose from =)
There was indeed a Kellen nips one, Maybe it came down to that one or Papa Lautner, and of course the choice was obvious! 😉
ummmmm, Kellan nipples.
I want to do body shots off that boy.
Normal, right?
100% normal, and I’ll be standing on the other side of his body doing one right along with ya
OMG…!!! 🙂
I’ll bet we could three body shots at once. There’s a lot of room on that boys wide chest. The possibilities…
Is is wrong that, as a 100% straight woman with a myriad history of heterosexual relations, I’d prefer to do body shots off Ashley Greene?
It’s a toss up for me.
100% straight woman with a myriad history of hertaosexual relations…too.
After everthing I have read here today…EVERYTHING IS NORMAL!! Kinda scary …..
Friday crunk chat gone awry! We even got the under-represented cast/family extensions in there and that was hysterical… Waiting for the rest of those pics to surface…
I also may or may not have the transcript saved from a portion of that chat.
I shivered when I saw that first pic of Petah. True story.
Good God, the hotness. *shiver again*
Is it wrong that even though I’ve pledged my love to Rob, I’d give just about anything to lick Kellan’s dimples?
Oink
Oink – that’s normal.
I hate Jenny Garth*.
*not really but seriously, Big Papa…DAYUM!!!!
I love Kellan.
I think I should have YOUR avatar…I really look like that!!
HAHA!!!!
Hope you don’t mind my little correction to your first post…but oh so true! 🙂 especially today!!!
Not at all! 🙂
I have the same one…..somehow along the way it’s come to represent a booger you’d find in Rob’s nose. I think it was something UC said…..or was it Moon? Something in reference to him secret signalling us all that he reads our crazy meanderings……I don’t know, I think I’m the one that had too much wine last night. I drank it out of my Edward Chalice. True Story (my cousin gave it to me for my birthday. Really. She made it. I drink my coffee out of it every morning while enjoying a wake up gaffaw to LTT/LTR)
BTW – who doesn’t love the fact that Big Papa is totally sporting the trailer porn ‘stache?
Bowchicawowow…
These are genius! Seriously. You girls should write greeting cards. Or develop a Twilight-based pron magazine. Preferably the latter.
I love that you threw in Daddy Lautner. I missed seeing Rob, but then I looked back at Ashley and smiled again. Those two might want to make a sex tape. Just sayin’.
The laminated so-as-to-not-spill-any-um-liquids-anything-on-it Twi/Rob porn magazine? Girl, you know that’s already in the works 🙂
I think that Ashley should be the official fake lesbian celebrity girlfriend of the LTT/LTR community.
and that means next time naughty pics of her surface on the internet WE get exclusive rights
umm SMOKIN HAWT!
and to finish the ditty!
“And the dish ran away with the spoon”…. Mac Tonight!
lol
This is great. I like the guy who ate the whole thing. It was more like five of them. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/
bobbygee… did those Ashley or Nikki one’s work for ya?
BobbyGee for LTT President!
Oh my. I’ve never ventured into the forum, but now that I know what I’m missing, I just may need to swing by one day.
Peter & Kellen FTW!
Ok I have tried forever to figure it out myself…I give up…what is FTW?? (Hopefully it is NOT any of the things I came up with lol)
For The Win? lol
For the WIN!!! Is anyone else loving Kellan more and more these days? For the love of all things holy! whew!
I’ve always loved Kellan more.
I used to live at the Forum. True Story. Just check my post count in the Members list. Dropped off the face of the earth there now. Most likely due to Twitter. The Twit has taken over my life! Not really, but hey.
Kellan is just such a cutie patootie. The dimples and the smirky smirk. I reeeeally want a Kellan special hug. 😉 Le sigh.
I don’t think I could handle another addiction. Twitter owns me right now. I tend to be a little obsessive… Evidence: when I stumbled upon LTR, I read back through to the beginning. No joke – Every. Post.
Thank God I never got into crack or heroine or something. Just Rob and Twilight… probably healthier, but just a tad nerdier 😉
Oh HeyyyBrother, I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I literally spent three days, and did a total of zero at work going back and reading everything! I thought there was smth horribly wrong and obsessive about that…..but now I know…It’s Just Normal! 😛
I still sometimes go back to read my favourites. That’s taking obsessive to another level – and I own my obsession.
I heart you.
LMAO- NReed’s ‘Just wait until I uncross them’.
Hilar.
And…where are those two side chains going to in that photo???
Peter’s brown leather pants……I have no words.
When I first read your comment I thought “who is Peter Brown?”. These pictures are really distracting me…
Btw I think I’m now officially a lesbian, because I found the girls a lot more sexy than the guys.
Isn’t it weird? The girls look amazing in these. I can go without seeing Rob in today’s post and not miss him. *hides*
He doesn’t mind. I told him what’s up. He gave me a Cullen Smile and then turned Katy Perry on the iPod.
Well thinking about it, Ashley is probably a lot ‘easier’ than Rob too, even with her being straight and me being a newborn (twi-voc y’all) lesbian. Moon and UC, can you start a letters to Ashley please?
yes
How can you not? Seriously, she’s kinda that HAWT!
Love you for this post. Twi Porn of Cast mates + randomness of my fav king of random, Papa Filet-o-Fish = GRANDNESS. Love you, Mean it!
Hey Ashley!!!…how you doin?
Ummmm….werewolves. Brilliant, just brilliant.
UC – if you get stuck for ideas, please please please break down the new still of Alice & Jasper that was just released. What on earth did Jackson do in a past life to deserve that hair?!?!
i had so much wine I haven’t even seen that yet!
You may also want to check the new pics of our official fake lesbian girlfriend Ashley wearing beanie and plaid shirt ala Rob style. Its kinda a winning combo.
Ashley and Rob combined? Good lord.
Robshly? Ashrob? RASHly?
RASHley, no that is Rob and Niki Reed! Greek shipping heirs have nasty rashes! Or so I have been told!
Team Robley!
Oh no, I am soooo campaigning for that Team! GO TEAM ROBLEY!
I totally drooled on myself about halfway through. True story.
I’m going out of town for four days with no internet access. I am going to miss you girls so much! It’s Normal, right, that I feel like my beach trip is going to be ruined b/c I’ll be missing out on Twi news?
TOTALLY normal. I’m bringing a laptop on my European vacation just so I can “stay in touch”. I feel so sad like I’m leaving my best friend behind! (well, pocket Eddy’s coming with of course. I meant my SECOND bestest friend)
THE BLOGGER
A blog for the world
Ah! Peetah! Hottness! I will even forgive him for the brown leather pants! I mean really, if you have to wear leather pants (which I don’t recommend) at least wear black!
*By the way, my son (5) had a pic taken where he was dressed up almost in the same outfit as Kellan in the last pic! Makes me laugh every time I see it!
No time to type. Booking a trip to Georgia!
Dyum that boy is hawt! Why is he doing this to me?!! (I feel so dirty…)
I love people with massive hangovers on Thursdays. I do.
xo
So does Rob. Maybe you, UC and Rob should meet every Wednesday. Quoting Bella Swan “You guys look great together”.
HEY….what about me….plz check earlier post and see what UC did to me last night….. 🙂
you mean what Rob did to you. silly.
Dannysgirl, I totally thumbs upped you for that completely brilliant idea. Rob, UC and I should FOR SURE get together every Wednesday night and drink 6 bottles of wine. I put it on the calendar.
😦 Feeling so left out…..UC already stole Rob from me last night….I want revenge, so can I at least come one Weds. night???
Wow, Rob really DID do a number on your noggin. I mean, I’ve HEARD of this mind-blowing sex….but I’ve never actually met someone who literally had their mind blown!!
P.S. Have I turned your sad frown in to a happy face yet? …….I’m really trying.
It’s totally up to Lapushbaby and UC. I don’t think Rob would mind though. As long as you can bring up the crazy. Oh! and the booze of course
@absolutelyvlc…thanks for trying…but…if you read my earlier post….UC took off w/ Rob and might have had “mind-blowing” sex!!! She whispered in his ear that I was damaged goods…and stole him from me!!! Left me lost w/only a bottle of wine and a plaid shirt Rob dropped in his haste to steal away w/UC…..so now you know the truth!! She hasn’t got a hangover she has ……well whatever you get when you spend the night w/ Rob!!!!
“UC took off w/ Rob and might have had “mind-blowing” sex!!! She whispered in his ear that I was damaged goods…and stole him from me!!! Left me lost w/only a bottle of wine and a plaid shirt Rob dropped in his haste to steal away w/UC…..so now you know the truth!! She hasn’t got a hangover she has ……well whatever you get when you spend the night w/ Rob!!!! ”
No no, Cyndi, I got that. And I”m telling you that you’ve gotten it all wrong. UC didn’t run off with Rob, YOU DID. You’re the one that had mind blowing sex with him. But because your mind was blown (and hopefully some other things too, if you were lucky!) you don’t remember it. Cuz that’s what you get after spending a night with Rob – you get your memory erased. Mind-blowing sex has a way of doing that. Car accident, schmar accident. I say your “lapses” are a result of a night of heaven…..or seven minutes of heaven. Whatever. He’s young. We ligers know what it’s like for the young’uns 😀
Oh, and you also were lucky enough to get a souvenir; his shirt. Which of course he left behind in his haste to leave before your hubby came home. Lucky girl.
Oh, by the way, Rob asked me to tell you that he’s sorry he spilled the wine all over your post-it notes, and he’s also sorry he left you with memory gaps…but his night with you is something he’ll NEVER forget! Honest. I kept the text message he sent me if you want to see it.
(are you smiling now?)
@absolutelyvlc…..OMG!!! I am laughing so hard that my “golf ball” is now a baseball!! But SO worth it….OK THE TRUTH…HOW MUCH DID UC PAY YOU TO SAY ALL THAT??? There is NO way in hell that UC even let me get close to Rob! She shoved me so far out of the way, I was in another state..thus the reason I was so lost!! SHE stole him from me and thats the truth!!
You did notice she has NOT DENIED IT!!!! NICE TRY ABSOULUTELYVIC AND UC….NOT BUYING IT!!! 🙂
I’m so glad absolutelyvlc was able to clear up what was happening!!! I think I am still an innocent bystander…..but I have wine.
Cyndi – she (UC) hasn’t confirmed it either! It’s all perspective you see. Shoot, for all we know all THREE of you got it on!!!! Bawchickabowwoooowww!!!
lapushbaby – all you need is wine, baby. all you need is wine.
Oh I’m laughing just remembering the creative session for those, pics and laughs were flying!
I can’t wait to see the rest of them again.
Their’s that “weekend trip to Georgia” bit again.
LMAO.
Legal at 17? hmmm..
Where’s Rob?
Ashley is so gorgeous in that short outfit. OMG if I wore that, my husband will never get off me!
I think Christian Serratos is also so pretty!
omfg that is the funniest shit ive seen EVER!
all those made me choke on my leomonade and made me burst into laughter.
oh god….
you girls are just too funny for me to handle…
How did it slip by me that Angela was in fact a sexy librarian? She just looked so nerdy in the movie. Girl’s got game!
Also, that picture of Nikki makes me wonder not for the first time wtf they were thinking casting her as a vampire who’s supposed to be blonde with white skin. W. T. F! She looks more like one of the wolf pack.
Ok here is my end of the day notes:
1) I and hopefully you all have noticed that UC HAS NOT DENIED that she took off w/Rob last night and left me alone w/wine and you know who’s plaid shirt!!!!
2) I have learned that you NEVER NEVER try and pull out your own tooth…TRUE STORY….hey when you in that much pain…you will do anything…moral is that when you leave the other half…it gets infected and you look like your sucking on a golf ball…thus the reason for my lack of commentary all afternoon….WHERE OH WHERE IS CARLISLE when I need him…
3) You never admit to hubby that you did #2
4) I still was able to laugh (tho in great pain) at all of your comments today…so HUGE thanks…. 🙂
HEY where has Moon been all day?? Missed her!!
wow, this post is super sexytimes
umm.. Alex is so hott that I want to die
and the last two gave me tears, too funny!
great post UC!
who’s in the first one?
my friend thinks its anna kendrick but i’m not so sure.
anyone know?
x