How do people know I like Twilight?

Dear Twilight,

I might be a little paranoid.  My Facebook quote has said for awhile:

Sometimes I go into a store, and try to be as casual as possible… but I just have this major fear that… they know…

twilight-book-coverI do! I fear that when I’m browsing the books at Target, not even LOOKING for Twi-stuff, everyone STARES at me when my eye catches the black cover of one of the books. When I’m in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store, and I casually pick up the latest Cosmo mag to see if they’re still trying to convince people that guys like hot/cold “down there” (they don’t…) and I notice a teeny tiny pic of Rob, I feel like people hear my heart skip a beat and STARE. I’m paranoid. Clearly

A friend recently wrote on my facebook wall, “UC! I haven’t talked to you in forever. I’m reading the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer (you know they’re a new fan when they give you too much info as if you wouldn’t know what series they were talking about) and my husband told me about your blog! I LOVE it!” Okay #1) How the H does your husband know about my little secret blog? #2) NOT ON MY FACEBOOK WALL! I know I act all uber open & passionate about Twilight on LTT & LTR, but I do not talk about it in person. It kills me not to correct someone when they call him “Robert Patterson” or say the series takes place in “Forks, Oregon,” but I don’t do it. I’m smoothe, I’m cool… I’m not outing myself for Twilight.

Recently Moon & I received an e-mail from a wonderful LTT/LTR reader named “K.” It said:

You found me on facebook!?  What?! I kinda felt like you guys do when people randomly mention your blog to you and you panic that people know.  I don’t mind reading hilarious blogs and sharing hot, goofy, or hilarious pics and other such things to people I’ve never met but share the same infatuation, but I need to salvage my dignity and reputation as a sane human being by pretending I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention sparkling men or naughty dumpster fantasies.

I’m the kind of person, that when asked if I’ve read/like Twilight, I respond, “yeah, I read the books a while ago (also last week) and thought they were pretty good.” Minor downplaying, you know, just so I’m still credible in the eyes of the rest of the human race.

Anyways, so I’m sure you can imagine my momentary dilemma when I got this friend request: to-be-friend or not-to-be-friend. As tempting as it was, I just had to click ignore.

So, I guess this is just my letter to you, apologizing for being that kid in high school who would myspace all weekend but pretend they’ve never seen you before come math class monday morning.

Anywho, I love you both though I’ll never publicly admit it. ❤ K

We weren’t hurt! I would never be friends with us on Facebook if I wasn’t actually us. (Actually, neither one of us ARE friends with LTT on facebook… ha!)

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

So, I’ve been thinking about why I won’t “out” myself and really confess to my “real” world how big of a fan I am. Besides the obvious reasons of the crazy fan-girl lusty moments I have over Robert Pattinson, I think it’s because Twilight isn’t “okay” for adults to like. Don’t get me wrong- WE think it’s ‘okay’ because we GET IT. But I’d say the majority of people judge it as young adult/teenage-nonsense/MTV garbage. We’ve all read the interviews with Stephenie- she never set out to write Young Adult fiction…. I’m gonna argue that I don’t think she did write young adult fiction. I just think that’s the genre her publisher put her in.

Crap. Darn that Little brown bear. Or little Bear Brown… Whatever… Darn Steph’s publishing company for making me live a secret life. And while I’m ‘darning’ people (yes, I say darning, please love it), Darn Robert Pattinson for being so damn hot and making me get so lusty online that I have to hide in this virtual bubble where I spent the majority of my time. So much time that often when I come out of my bubble into the ‘real’ world I answer people by saying “That’s Normal,” introducing myself as “UC,” referring so often to my friend “Moon” in Los Angeles that I joke people must think we’re becoming “fake lesbians.” Yes, I get strange looks.

Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to think that people are staring at me….Maybe I’m not as normal as I think…..

Nah, “That’s Normal”

Be Normal in The Forum
Lust over Rob on LTR
Read more Twilosophy here

So what is it? Why do most of us hide our obsession from our ‘real’ lives!?

163 Responses

  1. This is hilarious, and I totally feel you.

    Luckily I can use my 13 year old as my cover. I let her search through the magazines and just stand there with a bored look on my face. No one needs to know that I’m squeeling like a fan-girl on the inside.

    The worst though is when I’m at Wal*Mart, alone…….and I walk down the aisle with the….POSTERS!!!! Giant Rob Pattinson right in my face as I walk by? Every time I walk by, before I can control myself I let out a *gasp* and then an “oooooooooo”
    People hear me, I know they do. I just hang my head in shame and scurry away. Oh the horror!

    I have trouble with the giant Edward in the mall too….it seems the bigger the Rob, the harder it is to ignore (that’s what I said!)


    • oh SO lucky. i need to get myself a 13 yr old…

    • Ooooo! The POSTERS! Me too! I walk down that aisle on purpose everytime, and if there is someone else on the aisle, I only allow myself a very quick glance and then pretend I was looking for something else.

      • If my daughter is with me and we pass the posters, I buy whatever one SHE doesn’t have, and once home, help her hang it in her room.

        When I bought HER the Sexy Stars of Twilight magazine, I told her we would split the posters. She got all the crappy ones (i.e any without Rob, or any in which Rob had to share the spotlight) and I had every intention of hanging them in my master closet.
        Then I remembered that when my stupid dog has an accident, she always does it in that closet, and I didn’t want even a picture of Rob in the same room as dog poop.

        So I gave them all to my daughter.

        Her room is my happy place now. It’s seriously Rob-wallpaper at this point.

        • Can’t wait ’till my daughters get to this age. Do you think it’s too soon to put Rob posters in my 2 and 4 year old’s rooms? Seriously, I have a 17 year old sister who is less obsessed than me, but she is still young enough to get Bop magazine. She jokingly mailed me (her almost 30 year old sister) a Rob poster and a New Moon poster the other day and I hung them on the master bedroom ceiling “as a joke.” They stayed up for two days and then I had to take them down b/c I couldn’t use the joke pretense any longer than that. Best two nights of my life, sleeping under Rob.

          • “Best two nights of my life, sleeping under Rob.”
            Every female’s and few males dreammmmmmmmm

        • a picture of this rob wallpaper please!

  2. HA! I totally ignored LTR on Facebook, my bad. I just figure I get enough crap from my husband about my “fake boyfriend” Rob that I don’t need my friends to know I lust after a 23 year old actor (whom I also believe to be a sex God in hiding…but i digress…) and that I imagine how “cool” I would play it if we accidentally-on purpose “ran into each other”. Yes, I am a loser, but will I admit that to anyone but you? Hell NO! I am perfectly content being a squeeling fangirl at heart….in perfect silence. So thank you LTT/LTR for being my saving grace and letting me laugh at myself because hey…that’s normal! 😀

  3. ROFL!
    Maybe it’s a universal thing because I’m the same way.
    My friends and pretty much everyone know how much I love Twilight. But I have NEVER told them about my blog (where I mention Twi a lil too much), the blogs I frequent or my other Twi-related internet ventures. It’s faaar too embarrassing. I, too, faced the dilemma of accepting ‘Wealova Rob’ on FB . . . I did it anyway and prayed to Rob that my friends wouldn’t see and be curious enough to investigate and therefore uncover my online TwiSecrets.

    Jayde xox

  4. Although most of my friends know I’m a little too obsessed with twilight and that I have made some great friends through this blog (*stares around the interweb* YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) I turned your facebook request down as well. I don’t mind my close friends in on my obsession, but don’t want that girl who friend requested me on FB, who secretly tormented me day by day in middle school to have any addition ammunition in case her “mean girl” ways ever return and we meet in person. PS, I ignored her FB request 3 times before accepting. WTF, get the point. So what was I talking about? Oh being outted, well it sucks. And UC if I do have the pleasure of hanging out with you and ur real life friend, mums the word!

    • I have people who do that, too! WHY do they insist they HAVE to be my facebook friend when they were never my RL friend? Or even more when they know they are ex-friends for good reason? If I ignored you I did it on purpose. Jeeze!

    • Well said…I had one girl even write this long ass message with her friends request talking bout ‘come on let me in, I know I wasn’t the best of friends but the past is the past right?…LOL can we say desperate..I still hit that ignore button LOL 😀

    • As if to prove a point some boy who tormented me all through high school sent me a friend request today. WHY?? Simply because you recognize my name? Because I’m friends with your other friends? And if you are trying to friend someone you weren’t friends with 15 years ago wouldn’t you at least include a personal message? I don’t get it.

      • Are you reading my thoughts JodieO? Have you become like Edward? I have said those exact same words about FB!!! I finally changed my settings to where you have to send me a message…you can’t just send me a friend request. I figure if you have the balls to send me a personal message, you must have been someone I liked at some point. Then I can chose if I want to send a friend request.

        My husband’s aunt sent me a message this week. That’s the first one I have completely ignored. No need to bring his family into my crazy. I really don’t want to explain why I think pictures of a plastic vampire with an American Idol contestant are funny (see FB group “Where in the World is Pocket Eddie?”).

        • Well, I am awfully pale, but I do not have a bouffant… ;P

          I didn’t even know fb had that setting. I just might have to set that. I just don’t see the sense in filling up my fb friends with people I don’t especially care about. It just makes it harder to keep up with the people I am trying to stay in touch with.

          My pocket Edward is still encased in his plastic and is currently living in the trunk of my car. He might get jealous if he learns about the fun all his brothers are having…

    • Trust my old college friend Brooke to say it so well! *wink*

  5. Well as you all know by now I’m 45…….imagine me outing myself to my peers, no I just can’t go there ….
    I’m already the ‘English girl’ that married soandso’s son {we live in Ireland},
    I’m already ‘xxxx’s Mum’ you know that 19 year old gay lad,
    I’m already ‘xxxx’s Mum you know the Goth man {who is probably doing stuff, and is really a very ordinary lad}
    I’m already the pet mad woman {because my dogs sleep indoors}…..
    I could go on but you get the idea… imagine if I became……
    That delusional woman whose in love with a 23 year old actor and reads teen books about a sparkly vampire……..
    I just cannot go there, I admit it , I’m not strong enough….. hangs head in shame… Guitar Girl and Diamondmask when you come to visit you are some ‘old friends’ from my dim and distant past and when I take you to the pub as I surely will …NO LTR/LTT, NO ROB, NO TWILIGHT talk…..we’ll save that for the Robfest indoors………<3 you all and good to see you back UC…

    • Wow, are Irish people that judgemental? Sounds like you are in a Southern Baptist church girl!

      I’ll come and shut them all up for you…want me to?

      • She could totes do it too Ruby!

      • I live in the country…..what more can I say……the community is tight knit and supportive of it’s own {excellent when your then 15 year old son out’s himself at school by giving a speech on homophobia, BEFORE you’ve had chance to tell Grandma and Grandpa}, but I think I’ll always be ****** as above rather than ‘Rubytuesday’.
        Not complaining despite appearances as here we are connected, before we moved despite living all my life in the area, we only knew immediate neighbours and family.

  6. looks around as I open the LTT page* My name is shuddertothink and I am a closet Twilight fan. *hangs head

    I ❤ you all for allowing me to "openly" discuss Edward's sparklepeen and calling said conversations normal 🙂

  7. I think we tend to hide because none of us want to be associated with the shrieking fangirls or the overly crafty twi-moms.

    I personally friended Wealova Rob because I didn’t figure people would be rummaging through my friends list, and if they did, the name/avatar would only catch an eye if that person were one of us.

    I was having lunch yesterday with my mom, he elderly cousin, and cousin’s daughter. During a lull in the conversation my mom announced to the table that I’m going to NYC next week to stalk a celebrity. It was horrifying and I had to remind Mom that I generally try not to publicly announce that I’m a crazy person. Although when the got it out of me which celebrity my mom was talking about Daughter’s face lit up. I suspect she may be lurking around the twi-dom somewhere…

    And for the record I don’t plan any sort of stalking that will shame my Wanna Tappa Vampa sisters. I will do my best not to pounce on him, I will not stand at the barricades waving a camera and a Sharpie, and I won’t walk around wearing any kind of Edward or Twilight paraphanalia. Heck, I won’t even eat an apple while I’m there just to be safe. I do sorely want to get a photo of Rob holding my Pocket Edward, but that would be admitting to Rob that I’m a crazy person, so PE will stay home.

    • i agree… i do NOT want to be associated with the crazies and sometimes it’s hard for ‘outsiders’ to differentiate between US and THEM!

    • You hit the nail on the HEAD:

      “I think we tend to hide because none of us want to be associated with the shrieking fangirls or the overly crafty twi-moms”

      It’s mainly why I stay in the closet while away from the interwebs.

  8. I won’t join your group on Facebook. For one I get on Facebook once every three months but two I don’t want anyone knowing I have even read the books.

    I’m not TOTALLY in the closet though. Folks know I come to this blog and have met some truly awesome women (never met a unicorn) and have gone to a Sam show with them…but that’s normal.

    My friends don’t say anything because they are all obsessed with Real Housewives.

    We let one another keep our little secrets.

    And Twilight will be mine I take to the grave.

  9. Ok, so I accepted the friend request on Facebook… and I’m ok with that… I think because I have 500+ friends no one will even notice. I’m friends with musicians, actors, politicians, athletes and I don’t think anyone would think it odd if WeLuvaRob popped up as one of my friends because they would just think it was my friend who was crazy obsessed, not me. I have Twilight series listed as favorite books but it’s last on the list, not first.

    I guess I feel like I did in high school, I wasn’t popular but i was friends w/ all of them (sure they prob talked about me behind my back) but I was also friends w/ the drama/theatre/band peeps, was on newspaper/yearbook and one of the resident Mo’s… everyone knew who I was and I was able to blend across the clique lines easily… I’ll be your friend in public and when you need help studying/cramming for your Gov’t final. 😀

  10. I’ve completely separated my real life and my TwiLife. My real facebook bears no trace of my alter-ego of TwiCrack Addict. Shh.

  11. “I need to salvage my dignity and reputation as a sane human being by pretending I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention sparkling men or naughty dumpster fantasies.”

    I love this!

    “Darn Robert Pattinson for being so damn hot and making me get so lusty online that I have to hide in this virtual bubble where I spent the majority of my time. So much time that often when I come out of my bubble into the ‘real’ world I answer people by saying “That’s Normal,”

    HOORAY FOR ‘THAT’S NORMAL’!!! We need t-shirts with that on it!

    • Yes, I totally agree we NEED the T-shirts…BUT when will we wear them? if we are all closet WTV’s….
      We soooo have to have a large group meet next year {so we can save} and then we can wear our t-shirts pins and fake tattoos {refer to yesterdays posts if you want to know mine…….}

  12. Everyone knows about my Twilight ‘situation’. I have no shame.

  13. btw, I’m totally “out” on facebook. I’m sure I drive people nutz, including my family members who now probably think I need professional help. But I post all things Rob and Twilight all the time and don’t really care. It’s my passion. If people dig it, great, if they don’t they can suck it! HAHAHAHAHA! Ahem…

  14. I too opted to not to befriend LTT on FB for fear of being outted in RL!

    Actually, I got my first (and hopefully, only) RL twitter follower last week and I was in complete panick mode. Do I block her, don’t I? Do I watch what I say, don’t I? Turns, out she may be just as twisted, I mean normal am …what relief!

  15. This reminds me of when I woke up early to go to Target & buy the Twilight movie when it was released… I was the only one there who wasn’t a tween or the responsible party of a tween… akward? You bet ya! And you can bet your ass that when one of the dads asked me about why kids are so ape shit over this movie I said “I have no idea, but my tween will be pissed if I don’t come home with this…” true story… he didn’t need to know I don’t have a tween… it made me feel better about buying it and it made my husband laugh at me. Ah I love living a secret life! It’s like I’m 007 or something… maybe we should all give ourselves secret agent number or something? 😉

    • i had the same experience at target. then i went home, locked my husband and children out of the bedroom and watched it….alone. because THAT’S NORMAL!!!!

    • I’m 005 as that’s my position in line behind the dumpster and as much as I ❤ you all…. I'M NOT GIVING IT UP!!!!!!

    • Oh Yeah, yeah, I want to be a secret “twilight” agent too!

    • Ya know, I am sooooo not a morning person but that Saturday morning I made a point of getting to Target right when it opened. I dragged myself over there and was astounded to find that the parking lot was already half-full! I hightailed it in there to grab my copy, hangover and all.

      Only for Rob….

  16. I started off trying to hide my Twilight enthusiasm at first, I wanted no one to know about how freaking into it I was. My friend lent me her book, and after I read it I wanted my own copy. One afternoon my dad and I went out shopping, and when he split to look for golf stuff, I ran to Target across the ways and lunged for the book. I was waiting in a long line, staring at the entrance and twitching nervously, half expecting him to come in and catch me. Basically, the same way I used to buy tampons when I was in high school.

    Then I eventually graduated to becoming more open about my Twi-life to just my closest friends, until recently they just prohibited me from talking about Twilight all together. And now I’m only able to share my love openly to others like me via blogs. I forced myself to be tight-lipped about it now, and even the other day when a non-Twilight friend mentioned how she heard “Robert Pattinson impregnated Kristen Stewart” I replied casually, “Oh really? I doubt it,” but really I wanted to scream, “THAT IS A BUNCH OF HOOHAH!!!!!!!!!!!” and procede to get into a blazing rant on behalf of Kristen but I didn’t.

    • “I replied casually, “Oh really? I doubt it,” but really I wanted to scream, “THAT IS A BUNCH OF HOOHAH!!!!!!!!!!!” and procede to get into a blazing rant on behalf of Kristen but I didn’t.”

      Hee! I totally do that, too. Even with people who already know I’m crazy. I don’t feel like I need to constantly reinforce just how insane I am. =)

      • Hahaha “constantly reinforce just how insane I am”… It’s so hard isn’t it?! I’ve never in my life suffered an addiction of any kind but now I totally get it. I feel like the public has a Twilight restraining order on me.

  17. This is so funny! I too am a closet Twilighter! Actually, it’s more of a closet-Rob-lover! HA!
    How’s this for sad: I just got my pic taken with the cut-out of Rob from the movie and it is so completely stupid looking but I keep it in my phone as my secret!
    My son, who’s 12, thinks that Edward looks cross-eyed throughout the entire movie and any time I mention Edward/Rob he’ll cross his eyes and say, “Bella, Bella, come here Bella,” like a flippin goof! So, needless to say, I don’t mention Edward/Rob at home any longer, which, I’m sure, makes my husband very happy! If he only knew…..

  18. Darn you Rob for making me want to take you on my kitchen island! And darn you Steph Meyer for taking your kids to swim lessons.! And darn you pizza S.M. ate the night of the ‘dream’! And darn you UC and Moon for your FB request I CANNOT accept! And darn you new friends for living too far away for me to hang with in RL! And darn you giant Rob poster at the grocery store for checking me out every time and walk by! And darn it that we all live in this bubble of shame! And darn it, darn it, darn it!!!!

    • I have holey socks if you really want to darn……

      • Ruby, if I can jump the pond for a visit with ya, I’ll take ’em! Do ppl still darn things? Is buying new socks not an option? I’m confused. x

        • Girl you are welcome anytime, my car knows it own way to the airport. Name that flight I’ll be there waiting to pick you up…….I’ll even ‘out’ myself for the occasion, I’ll buy a twi t-shirt, bag and even have a go at some pattison-pants…….You won’t miss me!!!!

    • DARN!!!

  19. ‘I casually pick up the latest Cosmo mag to see if they’re still trying to convince people that guys like hot/cold “down there”’

    This totally KILLS, b/c they do put that somewhere in a cosmo every couple of years (especially the May issue of ’99). And no, I can tell you from experience (and so can the hubs) that they DON’T like it.

    Anyway, back to the point, I’m outed to a very few people, but not all the way outed (of course not, I don’t want to end up in a padded cell). They know I read the books, but they have no idea that I continue to read the books repeatedly. They know I own the movie, but they don’t know that I stood in line at 6:00 am at Target for the 3 disc special edition surrounded by 13 year olds and the REAL crazy TwiMoms. Or that I can quote nearly every line of the movie. They also don’t know the amount of time that I spend reading/chatting on LTT and LTR and that I am completely obsessed with a boy that is 6 years younger than I and totally unattainable. Even if the hubs gave the go-ahead (which he has to since Rob has been riding the top spot on the freebie five for quite some time now), I would never approach Rob like the crazy fangirl I hide on the inside.

    I did friend Wealova Rob on Facebook, though. I just couldn’t say ‘no’ to anything with Rob’s face on it. But that’s normal.

  20. here’s my latest dilema: Which is less embarassing? To be seen in the middle of the aisle at Sam’s (or insert any generic store here) reading the “Sexy Stars of Twilight” magazine for all the other bulk-discount shoppers to judge, er, witness OR to actually be seen purchasing the thing thus revealing that #1) I consider it worthy of the investment and #2) I intend to read it in the privacy of my own bedroom, uh, bathtub, er, home. Help!!!!!

    • I cannot find that special issue anywhere!!

    • Answer:
      Purchase that shiz and then bring it over to my house on your way home from Sams, bi-otch!!

      P.S. You are totally to blame for my child neglect – darn you for introducing me to this blog! And PEd!

      • I knew it that was you! P Edd ref totally gave it away.

        I have seen the destruction left in my Twi-wake, and now encourage anyone who mentions they want to read the series “just to see what all the hub-bub is about” to run, far and fast, away from Barnes and Noble (’cause you can’t get them at Half-Price Books, I’ve tried). And no, I will not let anyone else borrow my copies. I can’t be responsible for the Twi-wreck that will become of anyone else’s life. I have already caused too much harm.

        Meet you at Sams in the magazine aisle? Or maybe Target in the dairy section:)

        • You are a much nicer friend than me. I’m like a crack dealer when it comes to Twilight. I give them a copy of the first book to read for free, then refuse to give them the second, so they have to go out and BUY it. I am an enabler of the Twi-addiction because, after all, insanity loves company.

          I’m still at the lake house, but so bored out of my mind that we may come home early. I’ll e-mail you when we get back and y’all can come over for a swim. Price of admission? ONE copy of that Stars of Twilight mag.

          • i’m in!

            then our daughters can have a group therapy session about how their mommies neglect, emabarass and pimp them out for pocket eddie photos.

  21. In Spain, when you look for a job and you have an interwiev, the firm, i don´t know how you call in the US, looks in facebook if you are there and then decide if you get the job or not….is that normal? Here it is.
    I´m not in facebook, etc… cause i had a very bad experience with the messenger.
    And yes, i was really mad about Rob, i´m better now but i check everyday all about Rob and i´m 38 nearly 39(not boyfriend, maybe it coul be the problem? i think not).

    • Yes! That’s normal in the US- a firm would be dumb not to look for an applicant online… I’m EVERYWHERE online. it’s scary actually, however, I spend a lot of time just making sure everything is private private private!!!! That way they’ll see I have facebook.. and myspace.. and you tube. and a blog (not THIS blog! i think i am separated from this!) and a gazillion other things.. but can only see my shining face in my picture- and not read all the inappropriate things i often say!

      • Whew. I feel normal with that now, too. I google myself all the time to make sure Twitter stuff isn’t coming up, even though I use a different addy. And that forum stuff doesn’t come up, etc.

  22. I didn’t realize the depth of my Twi-shame until I was walking in a crowded FYI with my five year old. She sees the Twilight poster and starts jumping up and down and poking me screaming, “Mommy isn’t that your movie?! Look, I can read it…it says TWIIII-LIGHT! Mommy…Mommy LOOK…LOOOOOK!” I swear my heart stopped as people around us started staring and snickering. If she wasn’t so darn cute I would have stapled her lips shut.

    • we are such soul mates here at LTR/LTT:) i have the edward cullen action figure that my children often hear me refer to as “pocket eddie”. they know him because they see me set-up funny pics to share with my other twi-hard friends. so my 4 year old walked in the room while i was watching goblet of fire (it was on tv…i didn’t whip out the dvd, although i have it). she sees cedric and says “mommy, is this twilight?”. i say “no, it’s harry potter.” she says “pocket eddie is in harry potter?”.

      THAT’S NORMAL, right?????

      • My six-year-old told her kindergarten teacher that Mommy loves Twilight, and that she doesn’t like my Pocket Eddie because I like to take pictures of him more than of her. Doh!!

    • What is it with these little kids outing us?!? I’m haunted by the Rob poster and my five year old as well. Everytime we walk past it she yells out something like, ‘Look Mommy, it’s Eggward! Why do you like Eggward soooo much? Why is his name Eggward? Why do you like Twilight soooo much? I have to go to the potty NOW!’
      Thanks my sweet little one. Now everyone is staring b/c they think I’m a Twi-Mom and I’m Kate Gosselin b/c I won’t take you to the john.

      • “Now everyone is staring b/c they think I’m a Twi-Mom and I’m Kate Gosselin b/c I won’t take you to the john. ”

        HAHAHA! Kate Gosselin. That killed me.

  23. Long time reader, first time commenter. I had to come out of lurkdom for this. I am in so much denial that I can’t even confront my obsession on a site that is designed for people who not only share my obsession but who also find the humor in it. But for the record, I read LTT and LTR first thing every morning and I love you girls! You crack me up!

    Most of my friends know that I have read Twilight and enjoyed it. A few know that I may have a slight fan fiction obsession. But I’m lucky enough to have one RL friend who gets it. She got me hooked on the books in the first place, and I may or may not have driven over 200 miles last November to see Twilight on opening weekend with her. We may or may not have thought it was pretty terrible (with the exception of Charlie…and Rob’s jawline…sigh), but proceeded to see it another two times in less than 24 hours anyway. And I may or may not have convinced her to buy the lifesize cardboard cutout of Edward, which I may or may not ogle every time I visit her.

    Without her, I don’t know what I would do for release. I have a horrible feeling that it would go something like Fight Club, only my alterego would be Pattinson Pants Lady…

    • hahahahahahaha… THANKS for coming out of Lurkdom to share your experience. and i kinda wish your altergego WAS pattinson pants lady- just b/c i really really want to be friends with her..

      • Well, I DO have bouts of insomnia, but thus far I have seen no signs of “Project Pattinson”… I’ll keep my eyes open for any unexplained puffy paint…

    • You’re lucky you have someone in your real life to share a Twi-life with! I thought I had one but I think I totally ended up trumping her interest when I wouldn’t shut up about it. Sometimes I think I lose points with people for loving something so ridiculous. I never thought I’d be someone that would ever end up making a blog about it but now it’s all normal (though I’d die if anyone really found out!)

      • Haha, I keep telling myself that there are a lot worse things that I could be obsessing over. We’re definitely normal!

  24. So I made the mistake, in my new-obsession glory, of screaming it from the mountaintops how much I liked all things Twilight and how Rob Pattinson was the only person on my “freebie five”. My close girlfriends in the neighborhood thought I’d gone crazy, and then some read the books themselves – and while they became fans, they did not become the kind of fan I was. So, then at neighborhood parties and cook outs, everyone would tease me about my “teenage” obsession. And after a few glasses of wine, I may or may not have threatened to “take it outside” when a good friend of mine kept calling Rob, ‘Bobby Patterson’. When I got a text, a serious text, from one of my friends telling me about the Twilight cruise, I realized that I’d gone too far. My friends think I’d leave my 4 kids and go on a Twilight cruise. I’d gone. too. far.
    So, I dialed it way back. I acted like the obsession was a passing phase and that even though I am still a fan, I am more reasonable now, I tell them. When they send me news about New Moon, I act like it’s the first time I’ve seen it. If they ask about Rob, I allow that I know he’s filming another movie, but never that I’ve watched video of the filming and have seen pictures of his filming daily.
    It’s kinda like trying to be a born again virgin, because there is no way I can pretend to have NEVER liked Twilight…but I’ve learned my lesson and now keep my true dedication a secret! I’ve tried it, and they just don’t understand.
    On facebook, I have a few friends who send me the Twilight quiz stuff, but that’s as far as I’ll go. I say nothing else about it….I did try to explain twitter to my bff, and she honestly looked at me like I had 3 heads.

    BFF: “Wait, you talk to people online all day and all they talk about is Twilight and Rob related stuff?”..
    Me: “Umm…well, yeah, but we talk about other stuff too”
    BFF: “but you don’t know these people?”
    Me: “Not in RL…that means Real Life by the way”
    BFF: “You have lost your mind”
    Me: (reclaiming virginity) “Wait, forget that, I follow CNN too!”

    • I may or may not have threatened to “take it outside” when a good friend of mine kept calling Rob, ‘Bobby Patterson’


    • “It’s kinda like trying to be a born again virgin, because there is no way I can pretend to have NEVER liked Twilight…”
      This virginity thing is a real downer, I’ve tried to convince everyone I’ve still got mine but as a 45 year old mother of 3 no-one believes me……I believe in fairies……{OK all of this and I’ve not started the wine yet..} Is this the reason ‘OTHERS’ think twi-Rob fans are crazy?…..

  25. Oh, and I forgot to add, that I have a 12 year old daughter too – and she is key and instrumental in hiding my obsession, because any twi related stuff I am seen with is automatically “hers”.
    It helps deflect the questions anyway….

  26. My obsession with Twilight (and Rob for that matter) is no secret among my friends and family. My husband knows, all my friends, my parents..everyone. I have no shame. Luckily, my husband is awesome and doesn’t mind that my fantasy life is filled with Rob, it works..he has a serious thing for Ashley.

    When I was younger I was totally obsessed with NKOTB, not nearly on the level of my Twilight and Rob obsessions, but close. I was teased mercilessly about it. I even lost friends over it, not because of my obsession, but because they were embarrassed to be associated with someone who was a fan. I pretty much decided that if someone can’t accept my interests, then they’re not someone I want to be around anyway. They don’t have to be into the same thing, but I accept their interests, they can accept mine.

    It’s NORMAL!

  27. This is why I love you guys. My obsession and cyberstalkery are an unprecedented level of fandom for me. Never before in my life have I known so many random details about celebrities or felt the need to do things like “clear history” on my internet browser. My husband and kids know “I like Twilight” and check LTT/LTR daily but no one else needs to. Sometimes it’s hard to stay in the closet though, what with my 7 year old announcing to random strangers “Do you know my mom is OBSESSED with Twilight” and my 12 year old surreptitiously setting a Twilight movie poster wallpaper on my Iphone.

    • I didn’t even know there was such a thing as “clear history” until my Twi-obsession. It’s used multiple times a day now.

  28. Friends and fam all know that I lurve Rob and Twilight. I have no shame in admitting that, but they don’t know that I have my online friends and daily stalking routine. People tell me all the time that they almost bought me a Twilight tshirt, jewelry, poster, etc and I just have to come out and say that I will NOT wear any of it.
    I refuse to be classified as a Twi-Mom. I’m too cool to be that woman. The only t-shirt I will wear is the one I steal from Rob, right after I bang him behind the dumpster!

    • I draw the line at the cheap-ass merch too. I know the first time I give in and slip into an Edward t-shirt, I’m going to run into Rob at the supermarket and have to die.

  29. I send my robert pattinson google alert to my spam folder so that if someone happens by my computer, they won’t see the 30 “Google Alert-Robert Pattinson” messages in my Inbox. Darn you, Google!!!!!

  30. i will tell you why many stay in the closet! I am out of the closet and this is where it has got me! NONE of my RL friends get me and I know they talk about me behind my back and make jokes about my early “mid life” crisis, they place bets as to how long I can go before mentioning Twilight or Rob, my husband thinks I should talk to my shrink about my little “Robert” thing and he now thinks I might be having a cyber affair when all I am doing is ogling Robporn all night!!! If you tell be proud about it but…………it is easier to lead a double life and keep your dirty little secret!

  31. OK, I am a closet Twi-lover, too, obvs, and I have a question for LTT/LTR friends who have gone on to meet each other in RL. What is your cover story for your meetings? Do you just blurt out the truth? ‘We met online’ ??? Do your hubbies buy that? Accept it? Divorce you?

    “We met on a blog”.
    Is there a way to make that sound less sketchy?

    Just askin’


    • I’ve not met anyone…yet. But my husband is a part of forums, too. He’s also a tech geek so he doesn’t think it’s ‘weird’ to meet people online.
      But when I go to LA for the premiere? Lies, lies, LIES. I honestly have not worked up my story for the rest of my friends/family. But there will be one. Trust. LOL

      • OK, Pink Fluff, I am having trouble coming up with LIES even, so please IM me in the forum when you come up with one, because I am going to print it out and memorize it like a script!!


        I’m not sure how my hubs feels EXACTLY about meeting people online, but some good friends of ours divorced because the dude ‘met someone online’ and then ran off and married her…’s not held in the highest regard in this house…hmmmm.

    • @lapushbaby I wonder that myself! Especially since at the end of the month I will be at TwiCon and I know that my RL Dallas friends are going to wonder why I have plans that whole weekend without them??? Hmmm….I guess I need to work on my story….

      • OK, and when you get it all sorted out, please let me know what your cover is!!! Do your friends even know that you are going to TwiCon??? You could feign an illness for an entire weekend pretty belivably…People don’t want to be around sick people, so they will leave you alone, and I’m sure if you say “swine flu” they won’t call for a week! lol.

        Good luck and I want the full story.

        • Dear Lapushbaby,
          I have met several LTT/LTR girls now and for me, it really depends on whom I am telling. Since I’m a single girl,I don’t have to deal with the husband factor. However, several of us have jokingly said we are distant cousins or old college buddies. PS, how come you aren’t on twitter?

    • “We met through a mutual friend.”

      It works.

      • Yeah, I have been working on that one. It gets trickier to cover people who live in different states, and different COUNTRIES. Darn you, different countries!!! Stupid arbitrary borderlines…..

    • Let’s try the truth on and see how it sounds….here we go:

      Honey, so, ya…while I was on a blog today (for several hours) devoted entirely to being obsessed with a teenage vampire trilogy, and a twenty-three year old I’d love nothing more than to shag rotten while you’re at work….I met some really ‘normal’ ppl I’d like to email, give out detailed personal information to, send photos and meet up with in RL. I know, right? Then I spent some time in the forum, on twitter, etc. rehashing the delicacy and erotic nature in which said twenty-three year cougar bait FINGERS hold a can of blessed pop sexier than anything I have ever seen in my entire life.

      Can I have several hundred dollars to fly out to meet said ‘normal’ individuals in RL, to discuss these and other pressing items? Kthanks.

      So what does everyone think…does this work?

  32. I feel so much better knowing I’m not alone! I feel so creepy walking into Hot Topic without one of my teenage children – but I can’t resist. They even know me there as a Twilight fan, even though I try my hardest to be inconspicuous.

    Also, after a few times of letting my guard down at school, others are starting to read the books. I offered my “extra copies” for them to borrow, but was clear that I don’t loan out MY set. OOPS! I think they now know how consumed I am with Twilight and Rob. Someone was looking at my iTouch for pics of my kids – instead they found hundreds of Rob. Oh well – at least we have a support group with LTR and LTT!


    • i have over 300 pics of robporn on my itouch and none of my beautiful children…i also have a password on it so that my husband can’t get in it, see it, and promptly divorce me because i’m insane…

      oh i feel so safe in here…

  33. im pretty sure i only have shame when im actually in public, like outside not on the internet type of public, because apparently im ok with twilight bumperstickers and flair all over my facebook… ANYWAY all of my close friends are just as obsessed and those that arent dont give me shit for it, but if im out and see something RPattz related i have to hold it in. my bff and i couldnt even bring ourselves to buy the GQ because we just KNEW that the people at the counter would know the only reason we were buying it was because of who was on the cover. that thought was more than we could handle so instead we grabbed two copies and high tailed it to the most deserted part of the non-fiction section of the bookstore to ogle in private.

    i also plan on buying my new moon movie tickets at the automated thing so i dont have to ask some 16 year old kid for a tickets to every twilight showing on the day it comes out. its bad enough my 4 bffs and i already have plans to take the whole day off from our lives to watch it as many times as possible. i dont need some kid laughing at us behind our backs.


  34. I am not a totally incognito fan. I have one foot out of the closet. My friends know I loved the books and own the movie, and I have told them all they must come see New Moon with me for my birthday, but that’s about as far as it goes. They don’t know about my hyperventilating every time I catch a glimpse of a new R Pattz pic. They don’t know I spend hours online ignoring my kids scourging the net and reading and commenting on Twiblogs. They DO know about my P Eddie fetish, but think it’s just funny shiz and carrying a doll around and taking funny pictures of him is just so, well, ME. When I do talk about Twilight, I do it with an eye-roll and in a self depreciating way as if to say, “I know my silly little love for Twilight is just a passing, bored housewife phase.”

    I do tell my friends they need to read the books so, hopefully, I can create another monster like myself and we can live happily ever after in our little Twiworld.

  35. I was told that you could hang poster up at any age as long as they were framed! If you frame them they become ART!! So guess what I am doing with with my Rob poster?? Yep framing them and making them ART!!b

  36. I outed myself for Twilight and Rob to a few of close friends and family members but they don’t know the extent of this obsession. They see me as the funny girl who can squeal over the Twilight DVD commercial but that’s all. They don’t know I read LTT/LTR daily, nor that I put dozens (and dozens..) of fanfictions on alert, nor that I can recognize where/when some pictures of Rob were taken based on his clothes..

    But I think I’m rubbing off on them like when my sister of 5 runs across the house to tell me she saw ‘the vampire’ on TV.. or when my brother who is 10 calls him ‘Rob’ (while Kristen is called “the weird girl with the stoned eyes”).
    And I don’t even talk about the shame my mother feels when she knows who is this Edward guy her colleague is always rambling about..
    I might need a bigger closet I think

    • My guess is I’m your Mum’s age, get her here we’ll soon have her worse than you honey…Trust….

  37. This post makes me laugh so hard!!

    “We weren’t hurt! I would never be friends with us on Facebook if I wasn’t actually us. (Actually, neither one of us ARE friends with LTT on facebook… ha!)”

    Thank goodness! I feel so much better now. I will totally go to prayer group with you though!


    P.S. that was she said!!! we should totally start our own 'see you at the pole' day in honor of Rob. uniting twi-fans everywhere, lol! Not that I would be there or anything, but it would be good fun to drive by and view the spectacle of 80 twi-tweens gathered around the local high school's flagpole, glazed in twilight paraphernalia. (I promise to wave when no one is looking)

    • “see you at Rob’s pole”

      omg.. i’m so going to H-E-double-hockeysticks

    • One day, I was at a friend’s house for our “mommy happy hour” where all us moms get drunk and the kids run wild. We decided to extend into the evening (as we usually do). A friend was cutting up lettuce for a salad and said, “Do you think I should do the whole head?” My response (nach)? “That’s what SHE said.” Seriously, it brought the house down. One friend laughed for an hour after that comment.

  38. Hi I’m a loser who’s friends with LTR on Facebook!

    Why? Cause I am a “What the Fuck” kind of girl? I own my crazy! Because honestly, I figure that anyone who really pays that much attention to who my friends are and what I follow on facebook, and who judges me for it, is the real loser. Cause you know, sometimes you have to put your self out there and say, WTF?

    Keep in mind this is written by a chick who has pics on FB with Amy Whinehouse make-up/hair. And okay, my account is private….so if you don’t know me a little then you are not getting to watch my crazy that closely. Anyhow, what I am just saying, is that it is okay to own your crazy and be proud of it, cause who really cares? Just don’t go anywhere wearing, the Pattinson pants, sad rob earrings, black twilight tees, or the like. Cause that’s even a bit too crazy for even me.

    • Own that crazy!!! Fly your freak flag, my fellow HHH Bar Member. Loud and Proud!!

    • Janetrigs, I just saw a video over on Robsessed and the DrunkRob part was dedicated to you! So effing funny!

    • Janetrigs, I’m totally with you

      and I don’t give a shit who thinks what, I’m not concerned if they don’t like what I like, it’s not for them to like… I ‘m quite OK with myself and what I like, my facebook and twitter are all about twilight & co

      actually I checked my facebook and.. I AM a fan of Letters to Twilight in there (was not sure, because the account is not very active:) ) hope it’s real 🙂

  39. I’m bordering on the line of outting myself completely and keeping it a secret. My boyfriend is aware of my obsession and he is my enabler, and for that I ♥ him. My BFF has not a clue about anything Twi related and I’m keeping it that way. Otherwise, my FB profile has tons of Twilight related stuff but – most of my friends on there I know from Twilight blogs, and forums so I’m all good.

    Who created this LTT/LTR FB profile if UC nor Moon aren’t on it? Or did they create it and are not partaking -like pushers?

    Twi-blog pushers. 😀

  40. i know i wasn’t alone on this. my friends on FB know that i am big twilight fan due to the numoreous amounts of rob flair on pieces of flair. but when i go to the grocery store and see something that has rob on it i have to look. i might be 21 but i am always wondering what they think about when i am looking and swooning just because there is a photo of rob on the cover os some stupid tab mag. my family knows i love twlight do to the five posters i have on my wall. the books on its own shelf in my room witht he two dvds, purse i bought at some art festival thing, and the two shirts but what they don’t know is that i come on to blogs and websites daily about twilight daily. which is good cause they don’t use my mac.

  41. I have 8 and 6 yr old boys and they continually out me in public, though I try to play it very casual. Their school library had a Twilight poster that they both told the school librarian I would really like to have. Then my son’s kindergarten teacher came up to me and told me he had been telling her all about how I loved Twilight. I was very embarrassed until she quietly told me she did too. And while my husband knows how embarrassed I get he likes to out me every chance he gets. I so love your blogs!!

    • haha!! amazing story!

    • Oh Shit! My daughter goes to kindergarten this year! I hadn’t factored this into my closet obsession. She outs me at the grocery store all the time, but those are complete strangers. What am I going to do?

      • Doctrinated her with something harmless….and only watch Twilight when she’s in bed………it’s a start, you may just have time…….

        • Whew! Thanks, RT. I’ll start pretending to obsess over Bible stories in front of her.

          • whatever you do, DON’T allow her to play with your pocket eddie. she will pull it out of your purse while her sister is in swim lessons and say “look, mommy, you brought pocket eddie, can i play with him?” and you’ll have to say with nervous laughther “oh sweetie, that’s the joke gift i got for my birthday. let’s put that away.”

            btw, this is a completely hypothetical scenario which i have created for dramatic effect.

          • Yeah, Yeah, That’s Normal!!!!!

  42. oh my goodness you guys are hilarious!
    I have a 5 year old sister & so it’s difficult to pretend i don’t care about twilight in public when she points out everything related to it in a very loud voice. “Look! the car is sparkley, just like ‘Eggward’!!!” & then i pretend i have no clue what she’s talking about “Uh-huh. Very nice.”
    Or that time i went to wal-mar with my mom at 8:30 in the morning & almost no one was there so i picked up the Twilight special of Us Weekly to read as we walked around. & then everyone showed up…

  43. Yeah, I keep it on lock down too. Like another commenter said, it’s kinda fun to have this little secret…like 007 stuff.

    I mean, as much as I love this blog, LTR and other Twiblogs, I do check 2,3 or a dozen times to make sure no one is behind me AND I ALWAYS look at them with another tab open just in case someone even gets within say 15 feet of me so I can change real fast and no one is the wiser. Lame, I know. But like most others, I keep it in the closet because I don’t want to be associated with the “Others”….

    Although, truthfully, when big stuff happens, like the New Moon Trailer premiere or Shirtless Rob day, I do wish I had at least ONE RL friend that I could call and go all fangirly with. *sigh*

    • @LiLi, I could have written this post. I totally keep the extra tab open!! And I wish to have a RL friend to squeal over the NM trailer with, but alas….

      OTOH, I DO enjoy having the little secret that is only for me. I do! So I just virtual squeal with all these normal peeps…

  44. I have mentioned many times that in an effort to protect my street cred, not even my mom or my sisters know about this part of my life. I swear when Im in a grocery store or barnes and noble there is like an invisable line that I know I can not cross. I keep seeing that Sexy Stars of Twilight magazine at B&N (where I often take my lunch breaks) and I know that the gaze from across the store has to be enough.
    I totally have a secret life. I need an altar call to confess my sins and get right with the Lord. Will someone go up to the front with me so I won’t be embarrassed to go alone?

  45. Tell me about it, I’m a Literature and Linguistics major. I have to pretend I read Dostoievsky, Chejov and Jane Austen when secretly I’m reading Twilight again! I’m such a huge loser, but the world doesn’t need to know. When my friends ask me if I’ve read Twilight I say “oh, yes, but I thought it was a terrible book, I mean, the story is ok and fun, but I don’t like those best sellers without the deepness of the classics”. It’s easier when they ask if I’ve seen the movie, because it really sucks. So not even my friends or family know what a huge fan I am, the only one with that knowledge and power to destroy me is my laptop.

    • i LOVE hearing when smart people love Twi. I mean.. I’m smart… but people don’t believe me b/c I didn’t major in literature & linguistics (but I am naming my first son soren after kirkegaard so that should prove it) but when harvard students email us (they have) and ppl majoring in “real” subjects ( 🙂 ) I get so happy!

      • haha you would name your child after the father of the existentialism. this is why i heart you. Kirkegaard was a badass… one of my favorite philosophers.
        I carried around Boethius’ “Consolation of Philosophy ” all semester in my purse so when I was in Starbucks really reading Twilight in the corner (without the hardback cover on ) and saw someone I knew from school walk in the door I could pretend that I was reading that instead.
        Philosophy Major’s need a little Twi in their lives to keep from killing themselves.

    • That is so funny. I am supposed to be ‘well-read’, too.

    • LMAO ” the only one with that knowledge and power to destroy me is my laptop”—- Two words: Password Protect!!

      I totally get what you mean. Like I mentioned before, I think when people find out how much I irrationally love the book, they think less of me. And I am an ivy league graduate with a business degree. To top it off, I also still watch the disney channel (secretly of course).

  46. Only my husband and a few very close friends know of my OCD…and still they only know a fraction of what I really feel…today my friends came into my office and I quickly mimized your blog, only to have my wallpaper be and they saw the Twilight Blog anyway…I just laughed…however one friend has ZERO room to talk..she’s in love with Rick Springfield and follows him around the country attending concerts AND went on the cruise…so yeah I’m in good comapny with obsessions

  47. I also keep my love for Twilight and Rob on the DL. Only 4 people in my family know (DH knows about twilight not ROB, my brother, my cousin, and my mom), Although my brother is the only one that knows the extent of my “acute fondness”. He is the only one that knows I have magazines with Rob’s face on them hidden in a box. He is the only one that knows that I went to 7 different stores looking for the new US weekly (yes the one w/ wetrob in it) or that I keep a file hidden in a file on my computer with pics of Rob. I have been asked a few times about the movie and the books and I just shrug and say ” they’re ok, not great but good”, while I squee on the inside like a schoolgirl. If anyone ever got a hold of my computer and saw how many blogs and sites I have bookmarked that are dedicated to Twilight and Rob I’d be so screwed. There would be no denying it then.

    • this is how hidden I keep my obsession. I don’t have anything that is twilight related in my room except a calendar my husband gave me (well nothing that’s visible). yesterday somone was going to come over to fix my internet service and if your wondering if I took that calendar down and hid it…. I did.

  48. […] By Li Li Leave a Comment Categories: Uncategorized While reading today’s post on LTT, I became aware of my how much I hide my Twisession-ness.  It should be obvious by now that I […]

  49. I must admit that I’m also ashamed of my passion for Twilight. Being 15, you might think i have no reasons for hiding my “unconditional and irrevocable” love for the series, but it just happens.

    I guess it’s just that I’m trying to act all “grown up”, and that’s why whenever my brother sees me for the hundredth time looking at LTT & LTR, and other twilight sites and for once asks me what’s my problem, I can only answer “I swear to God it was not me! The same ad just keeps popping up!!” and stuff like that, and also why I always have to remove the hundreds of “What is your ideal Twilight Guy Quiz” Facebook applications after using them.. which actually are ridiculous.

  50. So . . .I am just dying that I haven’t been on this all day! My brother-in-law and sister are here, but they just ran to the store, so I just RAN to the computer to get my Twi-fix. I’m not out yet (despite having a blog to the contrary) and my RL friends all disparage the book. Without the interwebs I would be effing insane.

    Here I am, nearly 30, and while my sister was behind me in Target I scoped the US Weekly I’m too embarrassed to buy. And be still my heart . . . right up until she was like, What are you looking at? and I about died.

    If she found my bookmarked collection of the greatest hits of the Twiverse I would also die.

    And yet . . .my BFF just moved to Seattle and the only comfort I am taking from it is . . .when I go to visit we can totally go to Vancouver. She THINKS I want to see Canada. Nope. I just want to see Rob. She THINKS I’m rushing out there this fall because I miss her so much (well, kinda true) and not because filming runs from August 17th to Oct 31.

    It’s normal, right?

    Oh, here they come back . . .running away now!

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