Joan Jett – We feel your pain (aka Kristen Stewart)

24, 24 hours to go... I wanna be sedated!

24, 24 hours to go... I wanna be sedated!

Dear Joan,

I bet you totally regret casting that ‘Twilight Girl’ to play you in the Runaways Biopic, even though your niece totally loves that hunky vampire dude and was hoping to meet him because of the KStew connection. But sadly, no Rob and all you’re left with is a skinny girl who blinks and stutters her way through your kick ass life.

And what about the hair? Instead of rocking your bad ass femme mullet she looks more like Johnny Ramone with a lot of volume. Makes me wonder what they’re gonna do in a month when she has to have Bella hair again. Get yo weave on girl!
I just read a story about you yelling at Kristen to step it up her game on the Runaways set and she ended up crying. Did she have the Bella hospital break down on you?

“What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I… (fade out)”

I wanna rock n roll all night and party every day! This is not the KISS biopic ladies!

I wanna rock n roll all night and party every day! This is not the KISS biopic ladies!

Obviously at this point you had to slap her so she would snap out of it. You’re an original RiotGiRRRL for goodness sake. Teach that trick some respect! And I’m sure you’ll agree with me: There’s no crying in PUNK ROCK! Tell her to snap out of it or we’re gonna have words! Same goes for Dakota Fanning. These two need to bring it or go home cause if they screw up Cherry Bomb like Twilight got screwed we’ll have to lay the smack down like James did in the ballet studio.

So Joan, if you’re ever feeling blue about the whole thing or just like to laugh at people when they fall down, cause who doesn’t? Watch the following video… and maybe one of us will figure out how to put the falling part on loop!

Hello world, I’m your wild girl!

PS Read one of our very own LTR/LTT girls ROB ENCOUNTER at LTR!!
Talk about all this goodness at The Forum!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Follow the cut for some Runaways musical goodies from me to you!

Cherry Bomb

Saturday Night Special

77 Responses

  1. “What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I… (fade out)”

    HAHAHAHAAHAHA Priceless. That was sooooo bad acting, why didn’t Catherine cut that shit out?
    Poor Kristen….
    She has to wear a wig agian I suppose.

    Anyhows.Nice written again, I loved it!

    • I totally blame Catherine for that scene.

      NOBODY is good in it, not Rob, not Sarah Clarke, and Kristen is just… it’s beyond bad.

      It’s so cringe worthy that there aren’t enough hands-embarrassment.

    • why didn’t catherine cut like HALF the shit in the movie out? Ugh. .chris weitz better BRING IT.

      plus i love that moon actually watched the movie to get that part exactly right…. commitment!

      • Clip for New Moon is already 100 times better than most of Twilight. (willing to overlook the cartoon quality of the wolf for the ‘greater good’ of the rest of it).

        There is hope.

        There seems to have been a lot of problems with the script not working when they were filming as well – the number of times they talk about script issues, and changing things on the day, and ad-libbing in the commentary, you’ve gotta wonder just how bad the original script was.

    • i watched it like 10 times just to get it all i swear.

      im doing the hospital scene as my monologue at the LTT/LTR talent show. yall better BRING IT!

      • And here I thought that we were going to do “Forget about the Boy,” from Thoroughly Modern Millie. I dusted off the tap shoes and everything!

      • Committing yourself for the blog. Again. Sigh.

    • everyone makes mistakes and as for twilight not bieng good it wasnt cause of the was catherine….for alot of ppl that dont like kstew sure do get on her website alot and know alot about her enuff to critizise…dont make sense if i didnt like someone i wouldnt bother with even writing negative stuff about them….

  2. well, in fairness to kristen, i think the whole mess of a dialogue in the hospital scene was not her fault. i remember she said something about that in the movie’s commentary. methinks catherine hardwicke was to blame for that.

    but yeah, that scene was totally cringe worthy. saved only by rob’s panty-poofing presence.

    that was perfect… and her falling, kinda sorta was…ummm..

    she kinda runs like pheobe in FRIENDS hehehehe

  4. Jesus, that part of Twilight was one of my LEAST favorite. It looked like she was stuttering as she was choking on a hot dog. And I did have to giggle a bit when I heard that Joan made Kstew cry. Kstew tries to act like such a bad*ss and getting a little schooling from the queen of bad*ss will put her in her place.

  5. Well, we know she didn’t have a hospital-style breakdown on the set of The Runaways. And we know why. Because we know certain people weren’t on set that particular day. People which rile her. People which calm her. People which make her momentarily lose her suave maturity, resulting in stuttering and stammering and all that.

    Because we know. Ahem.

    Cherry Bomb is good times.

  6. Jesus, this might be soooooo bad. I can’t get over how bad she looks. She looks (again) painfully awkward…and Joan Jett is the apitome of bad-ass cool. Total opposites.

    I just don’t see how she is going to pull it off. Looks like a rental to me.

  7. I hope it turns out well, because I love Joan Jett, and I loved the Runaways. “Cherry Bomb” was my anthem in high school when everyone else was listening to the Spice Girls. Maybe Jett is giving Kristen some tough love, since Kristen doesn’t have a ‘grrr’ bone in her body.

    Lita Ford in the “Saturday Night Special” video = WIN

  8. Awww .. Poor Kristen ! ..Not REally ..Sorry Kristen but someone had to step up and teach you something .. I know I know but Life is unFAIR get over it and grow up ..Seriously I never thought Kristen can ACTUALLY cry …But I kind of feel bad for her know ..Dang it why am I like this ?

  9. She’d better not fuck up the movie… Joan will cut a bitch… for real.

  10. I have said it before…she fucks this up and I will be SERIOUSLY pissed. If I was Joan Jett I would beat her ass down for effing up my life story.

    Yep, I want to see the video of Joan going off cause that would be the greatest video of all time!!!

    Can you tell I really don’t like Kristen?

  11. snort – Johnny Ramone! I saw The Ramones in concert and trust me – she does a disservice to him too lol!!!

    It can’t be easy trying to imitate an angry-octogenarian-mullet sporting-pleather clad-lesbian. Hell, it would almost make more sense to cast Christian Bale as Elton John in the upcoming biopic “Benny and the Jets!” b-b-benny!

    • OMG I want to marry you…. the Ramones are my My Dad was in a band in the 70’s & opened up for them… the closest I got was seeing Marky Ramone at the Warped Tour in 97, I was the only one watching them. HA! I don’t think anyone even knew who he was…..

  12. All I could think about while watching the video of Kristen is that she really needed a smoke break. I don’t know if she was just really in character or if she was jittering, it was painful! I hope she and Dakota Fanning both do a good job, this movie has potential to rock!

  13. Oh dear what am I turning into when my Robsession makes me laugh at that video?……..
    Kirsten’s only a girl to me {forget the age difference when it comes to Rob as he’s ALL MAN} and I SHOULD feel like picking her up and kissing it better but…….

    Loved the post Moon You Wild Girl You.

  14. “Teach that trick some respect!”

    I’m gonna teach your trick a$$ some respect. NICE post.. I ❤ radom letters to people slightly connected to Twilight, a la Papa Filet of Fish. ❤ your face!

  15. Awwwh, poor Kristen. Can you imagine chopping your hair off into a mullet, dying it black, and then being given that horror show of a wig to wear?

    I’m actually rooting for Kristen. I want her to be good in this movie so I don’t have to be embarassed for her. All that aside, I can’t imagine trying to portray someone who is standing 3 feet away and watching me. That takes some balls I sure don’t have.

  16. I love how they used the umbrella to block her obvious mini breakdown. Course, if I was expected to run full speed in that leather get up and I fell on my ass, I’d probably be pretty pissed, too!

  17. come on all… you KNOW joan jett is a Biatch. That woman could make me cry. and i don’t have tear ducts.

    You know she’s walking behind Kristen during takes being like “ahh…. that’s not how i walk Stewart… less slouch, more attitude” and the during a take she’s yelling “CUT! kristen i was holding the cigarette inbetween my thumb and pointer finger and NOT between my thumb and middle finger… i REMEMBER that DAY!”

    Yep. Joan Jett is about to go all MOMMY DEAREST on stew… so who could blame her for feeling the pressure a little. I bet the JJ crazy is reminding her of Hardi… and who wouldn’t breakdown crying if someone reminded them of the days of hardi.

    p.s. i think she’s rocking the look. for serious. it’s a heinous haircut and she makes it look decent. thank gawd for delicate features.

    p.p.s. i bet the sparkly one digs the leather pants. yep. i said it.

  18. “she looks more like Johnny Ramone with a lot of volume”


    I mean, I am not an anti or pro KStew– but she looks BAD in that pic. Are the same peeps that did Jacksper’s hair doing this film too? Srsly…it sucks.

    • No joke! It’s like there’s a hair and wig strike going on in Hollywood that none of us know about.

    • I agree SRSLY! my first thought was same wig peeps that did Jacksper’s hair! ugh!

      thanks ladies for the wonderful posts – love me some saturday night special! can’t wait for the movie, i ❤ Joan Jett & the high waist pants! ahh memories!

  19. I couldn’t even finish reading. Johnny Ramone! Johnny ‘friggin’ Ramone?! I just love you so damn much right now. If that’s weird, I could clearly give a fudge. The resemblance is uncanny.

  20. Moon – so freaking happy that you went there, because I get crap from some people (Calliope, Janetrigs, Marta, WTM, Freya to name a few) on twitter all the time cause I’m not in love with KStew. I’m sorry, she plays herself in every movie! She gives a death stare that if I saw it in person, I may pee myself a little. GAH!

  21. Question was what did we think of supposed lesbian scene between Dakota / Kristen, who’d want to see that? Let me think…………… bout Rob Pattz? Can U imagine the ribbin he’d give her? Plus, just about all guys fantasize about seeing girl on girl…(anything) ROFLMAO 😉 Twilight Saga Lover, Twi hard

  22. I was watching the video, but I got distracted at the wrong moment, and I missed the fall. Now I’m debating if I really want to be bored out of my skull again just to catch the fall?

    See, Brooke Lockart, I don’t LOVE Kstew. I tolerate her. And likely would pee myself, too, if she gave me the death stare. Or if I saw her mullet.

  23. BTW…Kristen looks like she’s doing the ReRun pop and lock in that picture with the red shirt.

  24. I kind of like Kristen. Being hand picked by Sean Penn to be in Into the Wild is pretty impressive to me. The girl does have talent. And that would be pretty intimidating to have the person your doing the biopic about hover over you all day and then bitch at you. I don’t get all the Kristen hate.

  25. i love it in here because i never feel alone with my twi-thoughts…the hospital scene is almost impossible to watch – with the mom’s face all up in the camera and Kristin’s lame attempt at acting…makes me cringe every time (even after the umpteenth time of seeing it) – Joan Jett must be horrified every day…

  26. kristen is a really talented actress. she’s going to be amazing in Runaways-she takes her profession very seriously, and people need to give her a chance.

  27. Da-yum! You chix are heartless. I happen to like the hospital scene, stuttering and all. I also happen to like her interpretation of Bella. She’s A-OK by me. Abusing KStew for stuttering when she was only doing her job — that’s all kinds of harsh. Especially after she acted out that fantastic paingasm…on the first week of filming!

    I wonder what your reaction would be if Robward was telling you that he was leaving for your own good. Hmmm, don’t I remember something about an ankle grab in a similar sitch? That would probably involve some stuttering, no? I know that I would be hysterical if that was me.

    Look, far be it from me to rain on y’alls KStew hate parade but she seems to be at the very least a good friend of Robert’s. You can see and hear from numerous interviews that he adores her (again, at least as a friend) and he has stated that he only went on the “Twilight” audition because he admired *her* acting skills. “Finest actress of her generation” ring any bells? Why all the love for Rob’s other amigos but nothing but hate for KStew?

    I’m going to call 2nd hand embarrassment on all this hate directed toward KStew. She’s obviously important to Rob and therefore worthy of my respect and affection. She has worked with some very important people in the business (DeNiro, Penn, Foster, etc.) and they all sing her praises for not only her mad acting skillz but also her professionalism.

    I loved checking out both sites (LTR/LTT) just to see what RobpR0n or hi-jinx y’all were into for the day. It certainly looks like I’ll be skipping the blogs if I see any mention of KStew.

    Again, y’all are certainly entitled to y’alls opinion, but I can’t help feel that y’all are dissin’ someone you profess to adore profoundly. Oh, and one more thing, please don’t try and convince me that you don’t mean any of it since y’all are just funnin’ with her. None of that crap you are dishing out is good-natured ribbing in any way, shape or form.

    • heartless, harsh… you forgot coldblooded.

      good thing every blog we write is a joke and we dog on everyone not just kristen, who we’ve written plenty of nice posts about actually. but to each their own. we’ll continue having fun and not being serious, i hope you’ll stick around and probably see our inevitable “we loved you in the runaways” post.

      • I think all the K-Stew defenders are really just Kristen herself, creating different names each time to make it look like people actually like her.

        (Of course, I actually like her quite a bit, even though I have to be drunk to watch the hospital scene without cringing behind my duvet.)

    • I actually just had a long conversation the other day with my husband about kristen & how we both think she’s a pretty legit actress. he just saw (part of- couldn’t finish it) cakeaters and hated it, but liked her despite not liking her performance. I don’t like kristen in twilight- i never did.. not since the first minute I saw the movie (long before the robsession) i know some people who did- but i know even more people who didn’t…and i’m especially not crazy about her in twilight interviews. but that doesn’t matter- you, too, are completely entitled to your own opinion & we’re glad to hear ones that differ from ours! the only time i’ve been serious about anything on this blog was when i felt sad for buttcrack santa’s death and when I told rob’s mom ‘i want to bang your son’ (see I can’t even be serious in this comment)

  28. i will give it to her. her ass looks hot in those leather pants

  29. The fucktabulous DeviKalika put that shit on loop for me. Uno momento…

  30. wow you’re so f**king cool! OK we get it!

  31. […] during the middle of the summer, in a fit of method acting and hot weather I suspect, you decide to cut your hair off into a Joan Jett 70s era mullet for your part in The Runaways. This ended up spawning so many business up front, party in the back […]

  32. Wtf does this blog live to insult Kristen? Yeah the film isn’t good blah blah blah but lay off Kristen. Seriously…

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