I have a confession to make. After 6 and 1/2 months of blogging at least once a day about Twilight-related stuff, sometimes it’s difficult to come up with content. So occasionally….. I force it. I’ll check my favorite Twilight Saga blogs: NewMoonMovie or TwiCrackAddict and read a headline like “Solomon Trimble: coming to a K-mart near you” and run to my husband and say “Great news! Solomon Trimble, the guy who played Sam (we think) in Twilight but didn’t get rehired b/c he wasn’t studly enough, is gonna be folding sheets in the Martha Stewart section in the Kmart up in Qtown.” Then I wait. What used to happen is that my husband would say something funny. Then I’d say “YES!” and quickly run to draft up a post on my computer. But he’s caught on. He no longer responds to me whenever I mention anything Twilight-related (However, he does respond whenever I mention Rob. He says “He’s a tool”)
So me catching “stuff guys say about Twilight” hasn’t been happening as naturally as it once did. However, it’s been my lucky week because I’ve just captured 3 gems:
1. My friend Jen e-mailed me a little story about the guy who sits next to her at work. He heard on the radio that Rob’s abs were airbrushed on in the New Moon Volterra scene and was appalled. Then this conversation happened between Jen, a girlfriend & her guyfriend:
Girlfriend: (saying to Jen) Hey Arizona, how you likin’ the rain? (UC Note: I can’t even count the number of ‘arizona how you likin’ the rain’ and ‘forks-like weather’ references I’ve heard recently in Pennsylvania. It hasn’t stopped raining for a month)
Guyfriend: What are you girls talking about?
Guyfriend: Oh geez. Yeah, rain…I hope he gets caught in the rain and it washes his airbrushed abs off. Maybe I’ll airbrush 3 extra feet on myself (Jen note: Joe is 5’4″ tall)
See what else guys say after the jump!
2. Another confession. I, uh, and this might be an understatement, do a little blogging while at work. As a result, no one at work knows about my acute fondness for all things Twilight and Robert Pattinson. They just might wonder when I get all my blogging done. I haven’t even told the girl who I let leave work early back in November when Rob showed up at the mall by me (and I stayed at work- WHAT WAS I THINKING!?), and I especially haven’t told our very own ‘hot tub store unicorn.’ Yep, that’s right. Our recently divorced 40-year old hot-tub store manager has read all 4 books. And seen the movie multiple times (alone) and really, really likes it. Because I have to pretend I just ‘kinda’ like Twilight/Rob, I have only eavesdropped on the conversations he has about the series with our 17-year old retail counter worker. I’ll walk by them while they’re talking, multiple times, and smile. Saying nothing. I try not to smile, but how can I not? He’s a 40 year old recently divorced guy who sells hot tubs! And he has twilosophical-like conversations about Bella with a teenager!
Since Twi news has died down for a bit, I thought I was finally through with keeping my inner-fan-girl quiet and my head down whenever I heard the words “Edward” “New Moon” or “That little blubbering actress.” Turns out I was wrong. Just this past week I ran into the kitchenette to heat up a hot pocket when I overheard, “CGIs look great” and “Did you SEE the wolf!?” “That young kid has gotten big” and “I think they’re together in real life.” I wasn’t prepared with my ‘pretend you don’t like twilight” game-face, so I silently prayed they were discussing politics (maybe the Obamas got a pet wolf?) but when I heard him say “And that new book cover really makes me hate Team Jacob that much more,” I knew I was done for. How can I survive pretending I don’t like the series when there are 3 more movies still to come and I have a hot tub selling, 40 year old divorced Unicorn working with me every day? And I’m wondering if his ex-wife was Team Jacob and that’s why their marriage fell apart. It’s possible. That’s Normal.
3. Saturday night I went to a midnight dance party in an “art space” in an old factory in the ‘hood in Philadelphia where my friend was DJing. It was awesome. Except when the hoodlums let off fireworks in the middle of street and I heard a car back-fire and both times I yelled “GUN SHOT” (I clearly live in the suburbs)
I was just hanging out, enjoying my all-you-can-drink-for-$5.00-beer when I started chatting with Donny- a nice dude who recently started a marketing company and hired a few of my guy pals. He said, out of nowhere, “Oh- you’re the girl who started LetterstoRob” Um, what? Me: “Uh- yeah! How did you know that…..?” Donny: “Oh, one day we all read it at the office!” then we had a long convo about our stats, our marketing strategy & future plans in which I impressed him with Moon & my professionalism with our shared Google document of “Twi-deas” that says things like “1. Have role play conversation between Buttcrack Santa & Waitress in Forks.”
THEN Donny asked if I ever met Rob. (Me: burst into tears NO!) Actually I told him, “I’m not sure I ever want to. It is kinda embarrassing that I run a blog where I obsess over him.” To which he responded, “I just know you’re gonna meet him someday.” How do you think he knows that? Do you think he actually knows Rob? Dang…
I just realized that since Donny & his employees have read this blog previously, there is a good chance he will see this post. Whoops. Staying true to our LTT fashion, here is a letter to Donny.
Sorry I just talked about you on my blog and didn’t change your name. I liked the knee-high socks that you wore at the party Saturday night. Thanks for almost getting me lost in Kensington. That’s not the worst section of Philadelphia or anything. Not at all…
*I changed his name. And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know Rob. Although. I should double check. I’m gonna run to his office right now. He’s probably not there, since it’s 9:03 pm, but … I’ll wait for him… Yeah.. I’ll wait…
Thanks to Jena & Tina for the great Unicorn pictures!
*different kind of Unicorn
What do your guys say about Twilight?
Filed under: Bella, Buttcrack Santa, Edward, Monday Funnies, New Moon movie, Rob Pattinson, Stuff my guy says about Twilight, Twilight, Twilight Fans, Unicorns, Wolves Tagged: | bella swan, buttcrack santa, divorced guys, edward cullen, guys who like twilight, jacob black, kensington philadelphia, marketing companies, New Moon, Robert Pattinson, stuff guys say about twilight, the hood, Twilight, Twilight Fans, unicorn, Unicorns, Wolves