The things we do for Twilight

Dear Twilight,

You’ve made me crazy. Yep. Crazy. There I was- a perfectly normal 25 year old girl with a slight love of subway sandwiches, Harry Potter, Facebook, kittens (okay I’m obsessed with kittens) and music. Suddenly, after being quite bored on a family vacation, I’m obsessed with vampires. VAMPIRES! And then after seeing a movie with a few friends in November (a movie that wasn’t actually that good, by the way) I’m suddenly obsessed with a BOY (who, coincidentally was IN Harry Potter.. so WIN for me!) I’m married! I love my husband! A lot! And this BOY is younger than the geeky cousin- EW!

I’ve done the craziest things for you:

-I took a 5 hour flight to visit a friend and then stood outside a HOT TOPIC to meet Ashley Greene and buy a DVD that I just ended up selling on ebay. Let me repeat. I went to Hot Topic (multiple times actually) And stood in a line. Until 5am (eastern time.) I forgot to mention above, I’m obsessed with sleep

-I went to a 100Monkey’s concert. And I’m a music snob. And they’re not good

-I talk DAILY to friends I made on the internet. How do I know you aren’t 54-year old men who play with themselves while looking at pics I text you, EastFriend & WestFriend? (uh, note to self, stop sending EastFriend & WestFriend half dressed phone pics of myself.. just in case)


I got picked up by Vickyb at the San Diego train station & we met Mrs.P for lunch downtown. I just trusted that Vickyb wasn’t gonna kill me.  And how did I know that Mrs.P’s teeny daughter wasn’t a cute ploy to get me to let down my guard so they could rob me of my millions?

If you're wondering if Mini Edward greeted me in San Diego, he did...

If you're wondering if Mini Edward greeted me in San Diego, he did...

Please say hi to my gangsta booty

Please say hi to my gangsta booty

-I went BY MYSELF to Philly to a Jewish-Southern fusion brunch place and met AmourPSU. First of all, what the freak is Jewish-Southern fusion? Do you think AmourPSU made it up and staged a brunch place so she could drug me, insert something into my brain and steal all my creative ideas?

-The other night I was at a loud, crowded bar with some friends. I could barely hear my friend Ray say, “That’s what she said” after everything my husband said (he says it so often I’ve changed it to: “That’s what Ray says”). But don’t worry, I heard the girl at the next table explain to her date how she likes the series “Twilight,” and I swung my head around so hard my neck muscles STILL hurt.  No one else noticed. And I wasn’t even the closest person to her.

twilightpartyOne day I was just minding my own business driving home when, going 45 m.p.h. I pass a road sign that I SWEAR says “Twilight Party 5/30.” I SWERVE into the parking lot and drive to the other entrance to see if my eyes deceived me or not. They did not. The mudshack pottery studio is having a Twilight Party on Saturday. What are they gonna do? Make clay figurines of Edward? How gay. Oh, and you know I’ll be there…

What happened? How did I, a perfectly sane girl who occasionally did crazy things like dress up like Moaning Myrtle for the Harry Potter opening movie night become the: meets internet friends in person without a second thought, stays up till 5am at a HOT TOPIC to meet a girl from a movie that wasn’t that good, looks awkward in public places, almost gets into accidents, makes a fool out of herself-type girl over a book ABOUT VAMPIRES…… Oh, I also have given up all hobbies, all real life friends and spend Friday nights at home…. all to run 2 blogs….

FML? or…no.. I love my life…

You’re worth it. Friends, vampires, Rob, the Internets, Twilight…. I ❤ you enough to go crazy for you

*omg… I’m KNOWN by a fake name from a MUSE song..! ugh!

I love all my internet friends more than you’ll ever know. And EastFriend/WestFriend if you DO turn out to be old dudes, well, I think you’ll be the best old dude friends I’ll ever have… you can’t get rid of me!

Concerned about the hos and dbags that will be surrounding our precious Rob on Sunday at the MTV Movie awards? Check out what Moon has to say at LTR

What has Twi made YOU DO? Leave us a comment then chat it up over at The Forum

We have some FUN stuff planned for the MTV movie awards so check back this weekend on The Forum our Twitter & the Blogs!

105 Responses

  1. Don’ t worry!

    That’s normal!! 🙂

  2. Ha ha! Guess I am one of the crazies, too. I also went to Hot Topic to get my dvd, and my BFF and I totally schooled those tweens in our Twi-knowledge.

  3. I love your honesty…your candor…your willingness to be forthright in all of your Twilight escapades. This means you are normal…a grown-up…sane…and not a psycho. I commend you for this.

    (Do I sound super mature? Good. Because I refuse to out myself over that one time I got all Ric Flair/WWF Smackdown over that bookstore employee who touched my Illustrated Movie Companion in an inappropriate manner, then tried to flip through its pages, thereby releasing her stank breath near the essence of my precious book. Cause that was kinda frightening…and not normal…and really, does the world need to know that I can say, “Wooooooooooooooooo!” just like Ric Flair?)

    p.s. There are southern Jews fused in Philly? That is all kinds of awesome. What did you eat?

  4. UC….you are brills!

    Should I also turn out to be a 54 yr old, inappropriate man rather than a thirtyish *cough, cough* Pastor’s wife (I’m still white, smokin hot btw, not even gonna lie.) Then you have my full permission to be afraid and refrain from sending me half-dressed phone pics. Unless of course that kinda thing turns your crank? Then yes, I am the 54 yr old pervert.

    And since we are sharing, is it normal that as I drove by a skateboarding park on my way home from my pedi a few days ago, I inadvertently caught sight of a guy who looked like Rob (swear to God!) from behind. Yes, that’s what I said, from behind. Tall, lanky, same neck, same bum (God make me stop), same hair, same sagging jeans and hoodie! So being the sophisticated adult that I am, I oogled in complete hysteria whilst swerving into the other lane. Never saw him from the front, oh well. Please God let him be over the age of eighteen, just for my sanity. Man I’m diggin deep into the crazy these days.


    And this…
    ‘How gay. Oh, and you know I’ll be there…’ <= WIN!!!!! xo

  5. how did you know i was a 54-year old man who plays with myself. hehe

  6. P.S. So I’m planning a trip to Forks, anyone been there yet? Any pointers? Did I just admit that in print????

    My husband says he wants to join me now….WHAT? I think he just suspects I’m flying off to have some sordid tryst. Cause why the heck would he want to fly across the country to a cold, rainy podunk town to ‘look around’ and ‘hike’? He says he’s afraid I’ll get attacked by a bear. Whateves.

    • I’ve been to Forks. You kind of hit the nail on the head, there, it IS a tiny cold rainy podunk town. But it is beautiful out there, especially the coast, like near, ahem, LA PUSH.

    • The best tip I can give you is go to the Forks Chamber of Commerce right away. They are the BEST!! They will give you a map & tell you how to get to all the stops & anything else you want to know. The also have Bella’s truck there. I would go to Sully’s & get a Bella burger & the Twilight punch. You can also go to the Lock & Key & get Edward student ID card plus he will give you a free key ring. The best TW store is right across from Forks High called Lappell’s. If you go to the City Hall which is where the police station is you can buy a little, but so cute, City of Forks pin. Anyway there is a bunch more I could say but this comment is already ridiculously long. Forks is a magical place! Have fun!

      • @CBA…Thank you so much for all the info! Fabulous! If you think of anything else, feel free to PM me in the forum under Proselyte. 🙂

        • Truth be told, I was there probably years before Stefanie Meyer threw a dart at a map and decided to set her book there….So no idea about the Twilight Tours. I think the Chamber of Commerce has a pretty good website, too:

          You can also check out Port Angeles, which is bigger, and may have more lodging options. And on a clear day you can see Canada!

          • @LaPush…thanks so much again! I have heard that regarding Port
            Angeles. Perhaps we will stay there. Cant wait!

  7. I think we all got a “little” crazy after Twilight… 😉

    Love your blogs, by the way!!!

  8. Sometimes I feel closer to y’all than my RL friends. Normal right? Cuz my RL friends have kids my kids ages, are my age, live in my ‘hood, do things I do (minus having an interest in Twilight). But you guys are NOT my age, some don’t have kids, don’t live in my town, some aren’t married. But there are people here on LTR/LTT that I swear I share a brain with. And, if given the opportunity, would love to become RL friends with.

    And now that I’ve ended two sentences with a preposition, I must end this post.

    • ummm… i hope your not referring to me. because if so i think we need to clarify a few things….



    • WTM,

      I am the same as you, my RL friends are just like me with the kids, and ‘hood, and all that, minus the interest in Twilight, and minus the Love of Rob. And not one of them ever says, THAT’S NORMAL, or ‘That’s what she said’. or ever quoted Twilight, even…..

  9. LMFAO!

    Yeah. I’m about to go to said Philly to visit you crazies THAT I’VE NEVER MET BEFORE!!

    I can’t wait. 😀

    That post was brilliant. And you are so NORMAL!

  10. Hahaha! You have no idea how much better I feel after reading your post. I was starting to question my sanity after seeing the shirtless Rob photo montage on You Tube. I screamed, “Run, Bella! RUN!” and my family offered the option of counseling. Or perhaps that I may be “special”.

    I love that we are the same age as well! At least if I have to be “special” I can be that way with friends. Even if those “friends” might be creepy old men. Thanks for making me feel less crazy.. er… just as crazy. 🙂

  11. Honestly I feel the exact same way…it’s sad to actually admit even 1/2 of my obession out loud for fear people will look at me like I announced I’m a trekkie…of course a much cooler, hipper type of trekkie, but you get my point. And I’m 31..I really should have outgrown this type of fantasy obession when NKOTB borke up…perhaps it was their reunion that created the instability in the universe that caused me to revert back to being 12

    • you’re right.. we’re “hip versions of trekkie’s!”

      • OMG!! A friend of mine is a huge Star Wars fan (has action figures and like 16 light sabers. True story.) and when he found out I am going to Twicon he says to me “you’re going to a Twilight Convention?? I’ve NEVER been to a Star Wars Convention. I think I love you even more now!!” How awesome is that?! He rules. Even though he thinks Twilight is crap.

    • LOL – NKOTB. I was a virgin back then, though. Wasn’t quite sure what a happy trail was or the prominence it would eventually play in my RobPorn collection 🙂

      • Hahahahah! My little sister said that about his happy trail recently. I just said, “Soon, young grasshopper. You will understand.”


  12. Dr UC,

    You are not alone. Ever since I read the books, I feel like my life has turned into a whirlwind of obsessions and late nights on the internet. My fiance gets annoyed with my love affairs of fictional characters, but I don’t DARE tell him I am in love with the real life versions more. Okay, so maybe I do tell him, its kind of a hard thing to hide considering my desktop wallpaper on my lap top is half naked pictures of Rob.

    It’s true that at 22 years old, I can’t avoid having a full out conversation with someone without somehow mentioning Twilight. It really doesn’t matter who I’m talking to, my priest, my professors at school, my two year old neice (who can point out and name all the characters on the back of my Border’s Collectors Edition DVD BTW), it somehow just comes up. And, then when my nephew (who is 9) called me the other day and asked me if I wanted his J14 magazine posters of Rob, of course I shouted YES a little more enthusiastic than necessary. His response “Okay, but the Jonas Brothers is in on the back of one of them, so you’ll have to decide which side you like more.”

    Good Gawd! The Jonas Brothers? Really? What am I resorting to?!

    Twilight is taking me back to my Nsync/Otown days…*sigh*

    But you know what they say… if this is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.

  13. Dear UC:

    Just a tiny little question: Moaning Myrtle? Really? I always pictured a brilliant gal like you at least as Luna or (my personal goddess) Hermione.

    And whatever happened to you that turned you in the meets internet friends in person without a second thought, stays up till 5am at a HOT TOPIC to meet a girl from a movie that wasn’t that good, looks awkward in public places, almost gets into accidents, makes a fool out of herself-type girl over a book ABOUT VAMPIRES… WE ARE SO THANKFUL ABOUT IT!!!!

    What would we do without you and Moon and the rest of the Quad????? You make us laugh and help us to make it through our boring and Edwardless workdays.

    Don’t you ever lose your craziness!!!



    • hahaha… well, moaning myrtle was RANDOM… but yes, I was Hermione for Halloween one year and am considering being luna for the 6th movie..

      • Oh! That’s more what I thought!! 😀

        But now that I think about it, you should be Cho Chang, you know, Cedric’s girlfriend :p

  14. Love it!
    I totally relate.
    Whenever I have drinkies I totally reveal to my gals how much of a TwiAddict I am by saying terribly embarrassing things that I probably wouldn’t otherwise admit.
    And most people I talk to about Twilight . . . “live” on the internet. *Sigh*

  15. I have to admit I am not really all that ‘into’ Twilight…like I sometimes I don’t understand some of the references y’all make.

    BUT…I am obsessed with your blogs. They absolutely make my day. You ladies (all posters, not just UC & Moon) make me say “I would totes be friends with them!” Like I use to say 10 years ago when the Watsons Pool girl would come on TV.

    You just find people that you ‘get’ and it doesn’t matter how you find them you are just happy you did.

    Wax me philosophical today.

    • you are not ‘INTO” twilight!? GET THE HELL OUT.
      just kidding. i LOVE that you still read us. B/c i don’t get it. I don’t understand why anyone who IS into twilight would read us.. let along someone who isn’t.. but i don’t question it. i just love it- and YOU!

      i LOVE the watson’s pool girl! and we’d totes be friends. totes

  16. Dear UC,
    You can imagine my shock, when I see my dumbass on your blog today!

    It was quite easy for me to stage the Jewish Southern Fusion restaurant. I’m Jewish, so that gave me a leg up on the plot. Then I just added grits to the meals, which made them southern. Next, I put the word Bubby, on the menu – clearly making a Yiddish reference and thus making the restaurant Jewish. All that I had left was renting a spot, hiring customers and then working my magic to hypnotize you to steal all of your creativity. Obviously the plot was an utter failure as demonstrated by my current attempt at humor.

    You were my first internet friend that I have met in RL and I was so glad that you weren’t some 10-yr-old with a major potty mouth. That would have been really awkward.

    Next up, meeting @janetrigs and Marta!! Marta and I just had a very similar conversation to your post. We’re all thinking the same thing, but loving every second of it!

    Thanks for becoming my RL friend. i ❤ your face and your ghetto booty.


    • There’s that word “bubby” again (hee hee – inside twitter joke).

    • seriously why is my booty so ghetto in that pic?

      • Oh – you just can’t see it from that angle, but I do have a major ghetto booty. We’re twinners, except you’re a skinny bitch, but I still love you.

    • lol, Marta’s been talking forever about the potential trip to Philly. So today I gave her a few hundred dollars and suddenly her gmail status says PHILLY BOOKED! It’s awesome that so many crazies from here are becoming RL friends =) Have fun when she visits!

      • Thanks for making it happen AU!! You are the bestest Unicorn ever! I’m very excited to hang out with Marta and we’re going to the No Doubt/Paramore concert too. Best of luck to you!

  17. Okay, so let me just say…define normal. No such thing..That said..

    I have done things I WOULD NEVER EXPECT TO DO!!

    1) Stood in line at Walmart at midnight to get the DVD..with my 15 year old niece (Because that makes it okay).

    2) I Am planning a trip to NJ for Twi-Tour, already bought all the tickets to have my pic takens with all the stars…(Excuse: you only live once, why not??!)

    3) Cannot stop myself from buying anything Twilight related…Pocket Edward/ Bella included.

    4) Started a Twilight blog to feed my obsession

    5) Met with a professor doing research on the Twilight phenomenon and discussed the Twilight Saga in depth for hours with other Twilighters. Yes I actually volunteered to embarrass myself by being a part of a research project that may or may not question our sanity as Twilighters ( obsessed fans)…not sure yet how it will be presented when complete!

    Nuff said??

  18. Meeting LTR-ers are COOL!!!! They are way fun. In fact I may meet someone else with some weird muse screen name next month.

    Well, and we all know how I live the CRAZY. The CRAZY is awesome. Stay NORMAL & CRAZY

  19. UC…

    i heart you. and this post. i mean… i’m still waiting to end up on a 20/20 special with Diane Sawyer asking me why i thought internet friends were okay to hangout with in real life and to stupidly answer her question of “Did you ever consider, just once, that perhaps (fill in internet friend’s moniker here) wasn’t actually who she said she was?” with a blank stare and a “well diane.. i guess, but she just knew so much and we connected and our friendship really grew before she asked me for that $10,000 loan and my credit card info… so i just assumed she really was in a jam and just trying to hid hitting a deer with her car from her husband when she showed up at my house unexpected at 4am with a bloody body bag she needed buried.” Yes i still have visions of this occurring. sigh. hehe.

    seriously though. i heart you all too. AND… as someone whose met peeps on here… it really is POSSIBLE to connect with friends! tear. it wasn’t awkward at all… and i love you for it! smooches.

    • see you for lunch next week! bring your checkbook.. i got into a jam… need some cash….

    • Calli,
      Guess you haven’t realized yet that I totally swiped your credit card. Yeah, the $500 spent at hot topic was me. What? twi-stuff was on sale.

      • UC… checkbook. got it. did you need to borrow my car too?

        Amour… so long as you bought me matching everything it’s cool.

  20. Yayyy UC we’re so happy you love to blog about Twilight. I don’t know how I survived in the Twilight fandom before I found you and Moon’s blogs. They’re genius! You guys make me laugh every time.
    So thank you!! 🙂

  21. UC,
    I love when you get all gushy.

    I love that you capitalize HOT TOPIC for emphasis, just so we know how horrifying that really is. Thank you for all you do in the name of crazy, and Twilight. I used to do intellectual things on the internet, like read the New York Times, now I read these 2 blogs every morning. Oh, and before Twilight, my family had clean clothes folded and put away in their dressers. Now, well, not really.

    I just like coming here to read the hilarity, and feel that my obsession is totally NORMAL…..and my offer still stands whenever you are in Seattle, I will buy you a drink for all the laughs you gals bring me every day.

    Happy Friday!!

    • I was an avid NPR listener, Newsweek reader… Is Obama still president? I’m not even sure anymore….

      • LOL – before my twilight craziness, I was an avid news site reader, knew tons of current events, now all my knowledge is replaced with shots of shirtlessrob. **ashamed**

      • I got satellite radio in my car about the same time that I started reading these blogs. I don’t even know the NPR call numbers anymore, and I never read news online!! Obama? What? I try and catch the local news on TV once in a while, but only over the top of my laptop screen…..and laundry baskets, lol.

  22. Let’s see, I too have met 2 LTR ladies with no regard for my safety. AND I spend $300 to go to a Twilight Convention where I will stay with Val and her family along with Myria and VickyB. That’s right, we will have a sleepover like a bunch of junior high girls.

    And, even though I will be 2nd hand embarrassed by everything at the convention, I will love it!! And I really will touch Kellan’s abs, and I won’t even think twice about groping a man I don’t know. CAUSE THAT’S NORMAL!!

    • Yay!!! I’m sooooo glad that we’ve met you have no idea!! And I’m so excited about meeting VickyB and Val and touching Kellan, Peetah, and Jackson!! Yes, my goal is to touch all three. (And lick Jackson’s dimples so you might have to bail me out of jail.)


      PS – I’m lying about that last part. Maybe half lying.

      • Don’t forget how you have a plan in place to become besties with one of my rl bff and we’re doing Christmas in NYC! (and completely freak out your DH)

        • Heck yes we are!!! I can’t wait!! Get UC in on this. You know her. Do it. Make it happen. lol!!


          • Although UC and I are tight, she decided that she’s way too cool for Philly (or rather the ‘burbs) and probably won’t be here in December. Boo!

      • Amber’s To Do List

        Bring money to bail Myria out of jail. It appears while I am going to be groping, she may take it a step too far. But she will still be my hero!

    • Which TwiCon are you going to??? I am thinking about going to the one in Dallas. Only because I live in Dallas. I mean, I’ll be here already, right? And I may as well go because I have nothing else planned for that weekend and I have $300 with nothing else to spend it on (never end a sentence with a preposition).

      • Yes, the one in Dallas, but I think that registration is closed. There are still 100 Monkeys tix though if you want to come hang. AND Sam Bradley has it on his myspace that he’s going to be there.


        • ooohhhh, I will get my 100 monkeys tix ASAP. I have a friend coming in from Houston that weekend who wants to go.

        • So, I can’t for the life of me figure out how to get 100 Monkeys tix. Can you point me in the right direction? My TwiBFF is coming in town to visit that weekend and we are dying to go!

          It seems there are still spots avail. for Twicon. Trying to decide if I am going to bite the bullet or not. hhhmmmmm…..

          Love your blog!

  23. Twilight has made me:

    force my bff and her 17 y/o daughter to go with me on opening night to see the movie, make ALL 3 of us Twilight shirts, make my shirt have a heart with Rob’s face in the middle go over MY heart, be embarrassed to be a 27 y/o standing in line for the movie with a shitload of teenagers, NOT feeling so bad to see Twi-moms there too who are way older than me, putting “Caution: I drive like a Cullen” bumper sticker on my car, getting made fun of by coworkers for said bumper sticker, get upset that hubby tries to turn my 5 y/o into a Team Jacob supporter, jump hubby’s ass when he hopes Jacob kicks Edwards ass in the fight scene, bitch at hubby that Jacob ISN’T IN the fight scene and that’s James, read Twilight blogs daily for at least an hour, AT LEAST an hour, make Twi-hard friends who send me awesome shit like my little Edward figure aka “Lil E”, give said friend my ACTUAL home address, hope friend won’t come to my house and kill me like hubby predicts, but most importantly MAKE AWESOME FRIENDS who actually understand my obsession and don’t point and laugh at me for it.

    • i got in a fight with an 11 yr old sitting next to me in the theatre b/c she wore a team jacob shirt. i also told a mildly retarded 13 yr old I’d kick her ass if she thought Edward loved her more than he loved me…

      • YES! And why wouldn’t you. For real.

      • Legend-waitforit-ary! That’s normal! (I adore you and am so glad I stumbled into this site!)

      • LMAO I forgot to say that, while at the movie, I told a girl sitting next to me (maybe 12y/o) that she better not be sreaming during the movie cuz I wanted to hear it.

        She got up and moved. LOL

        I guess we’re some Twilight bitches. haha

        • I work in a school, and try and behave normally while there, so the parents aren’t afraid of the lunatic working with their children….the other day I saw a middle school girl in a ‘Forks High School’ sweatshirt, and I couldn’t help myself, I said ‘Nice shirt!’ and she totally winked at me and gave me a cute grin. She is totally on to me. uh oh, crazy leak at work…..

  24. I too am obsessed beyond control. I swore to myself that I would not cave to the Twilight paraphernalia (i.e. Edward t-shirts, buttons, body glitter, etc). I wanted to limit myself to the “real” stuff such as Rayban Wayfarers, the Bella bag, fixing my hair like Robward, and VickyB is getting me a Saints bracelet like Bella’s (straight from Cali).

    However, in the past couple of months I have come to acquire not one, not two, but THREE Pocket Edwards (Ebay mistake that I fully embrace). And Wednesday night I purchased the Twilight Board Game at Walgreen’s. (The hubbs and I played it twice while watching the movie…the movie watching was his suggestion and he was quoting it with me…I have a unicorn on my hands, ladies!!)

    I don’t want to take the merch buying any further. There are some really fun things you can do with pics on CafePress though. So tempting.


  25. That’s ALL normal!

  26. Let’s see…

    I’m 34, obsessed with an actor the same age as my youngest sister. Whose diapers I changed, once upon a time. Scary.

    I have 23 best friends I met just three months ago. All of them TwilightMoms. All of them freaking awesome.

    I have been to TWO conventions. Heading to a third in July. And a fourth in September. And probably at least another in January.

    I have met *5* actors from the movie (Kellan, Gil, Jackson, Peter, Edi). Me, who had only met 1 actor in person in the entire 33 years of my life previous (Gillian Anderson).

    Yep. I’m a Twilighter.

  27. I ❤ u, UC! I ❤ this whole post!
    Don't worry, regarding everything….THAT'S NORMAL!

  28. I actually sent this via email (with some updates and editing) to another Twilight obsessed blogger, and thought it would be appropriate to explain what has happened to me now that Twilight has entered my life:

    I am a 30 year old single mother who read the books and saw the movie, and now cannot seem to stop reading blogs and gossip about the Twilight books and movies. I almost feel ashamed – almost.

    It was only like 2 months ago that Twilight came to me from Netflix. Normally, I would have zero interest in such a movie, but that teenager of mine wanted to watch the damn thing so he had something to talk about with all the girls he wants to impress in school. It all started there. My curiosity peeked when I realized that this terrible movie was condensed from a gi-normous best selling book. So, of course, being the curious individual I am, I picked up the first book to see what was missing. One week later, the series was finished, the kids were neglected, and I was obsessed.

    I can’t stop. This obsession keeps me home at night, sitting in my room with a Twilight book or my laptop looking up things about Twilight, while telling the kids to fend for themselves. Thank god they are 13 and 8 and can feed and clothe themselves. My birthday and Mother’s day were great excuses to sit and obsess, and was filled with me yelling ‘Out of my room – I just want peace and quiet for (insert holiday here)!’ I thought I was being stealthy about my unhealthy interest in Twilight, until my teenager walked into my room and I kicked him out because I was reading, to which he nonchalantly replied ‘I got you hooked on Twilight, didn’t I?’. Damn, I’m not stealthy. I’ve had to make a concerted effort to spend time with them before they have me committed.

    I am also finding excuses to be tired at work. I have a high profile political career, so usually I need to be somewhat alert and on top of my game. After 3 cups of coffee, and a few mindless moments, I tell my fellow staffers that the cat kept me up all night (which he sometimes does). This excuse is getting old, since people are starting to ask me why I don’t just drop him off at the shelter. *Sigh*

    And hobbies? Shoot – I used to have hobbies. I haven’t been practicing my harp, and I have a wedding to play for soon. When was the last time I’ve been out for a beer? Friends? I wonder if they think I’m dead. I need to start pacing my Twilight habit to fit some hobby and friend time in – please tell me that it’s possible.

    I am also concerned about my unhealthy lust for Robert Pattinson. I feel like such a cougar – oh wait, women in their 30s are bobcats – I feel like such a bobcat! I would sex him up in a heart beat.

    So there is my confession. I have never had such a book/movies/actor obsession. Twilight has literally pushed me over the edge into craziness.

  29. haha.. i dont even know what to say, all i can do is laugh.. extremelyyy funny post UC! as well as the comments that followed..

    “i got in a fight with an 11 yr old sitting next to me in the theatre b/c she wore a team jacob shirt. i also told a mildly retarded 13 yr old I’d kick her ass if she thought Edward loved her more than he loved me…”

    hahahaha, hilarious!

  30. I know the secret identity of Westfriend and I can tell you, with the mote secret of confidences, that Westfriend is indeed an old wrinkly, sicknast man.

    But he is nice.

  31. Moon & UC You would either die laughing or be horrified if I told you what we had to do just to cross the border into Canada for our set stalking which was just pre-filming so it was a total bus anyway but still worth it.

  32. Awesome post. I’m so glad to know I’m not alone in my insanity.

    Wanna know what I did for Twilight!? I effin joined Twitter. Yup. Just so I could follow you, my
    Twilight-obsessed obsession that is LTT/LTR, during the MTV Movie Awards that I have not watched, well, ever, because that particular show was not around when I was 17. And the last time I watched the MTV video awards, I cried because Simon LeBon had grown a beard and was fat. UGH. What has this book series/movie done to me!?
    My (very mature and responsible lawyer) husband says Twilight has reverted my maturity level to about 19 (“a college freshman away from home for the first time” is what he said). I thought that was generous. I feel about 13 when it comes to all things Twi.
    My poor children.

    • OH, and one other thing. I plan to rent out a movie theater and drag all my friends (most of whom have never read Twilight) to see New Moon for my birthday. Happy birthday to me! My friends will hate me, but I don’t care! I am having a Twilight viewing party at my house the weekend before so at least the girls will be up on the movie action.

  33. Dear UC,
    You are brilliant, you are witty, you are funny… and through all of this I still think you’re perfectly sane! i’m sure we’re going to find out somehow that there have been addictive substances on the covers of the books that some how made it into our bloodstream, or subliminal messages in the not so good film that keep us hooked. just when you think you’re fine you’re stuck in traffic and the soundtrack or any of your Movie or cast playlists on your ipod even tempt you for something to listen to and you remember wait, I have Twilight because i bought the 3disk version from target. So stuck in traffic even though you can’t see it well you watch the movie you’ve seen a million times and know every word to. I have to say even my mother is worse then me… how is that possible?

    I’ve gone to Monkey shows and loved them and gone back even when JR was filming. Went to a Sam Bradley show and loved it. thought about making my way to Universal for the MTV movie awards just for a glimpse of anyone from the cast but realized i’d be missing the actual show when the air the footage and trailer so yeah, staying home instead.

    All of these things are perfectly normal reactions to addictive substances. Luckily for the rest of us and thankfully for you, we have an outlet, a support group, like holding an AA meeting in a bar… we are here to obsess and be crazy with you.

  34. It’s true the movie was bad, but that’s what made it so good. It’s quirky in a cultish way. I am seriously worried I will be disappointed with New Moon, that it will be too commercial and not indie/low budget- feeling enough for me. 😦

  35. You hung out HOT TOPIC to get your DVD? Dude, I went to BORDERS. For real. I get there around 11, expecting a smaller, though similar party to the Harry Potter book release. What I discovered was I was the ONLY person my age who was not there to chaperone an awkward tween girl. It made me awfully glad my red contacts were cheezed and that my pockets were big enough to hide my Bella style mittens. That I knitted myself.


    I got caught up in the Twi-obsession after my boyfriend and I broke up. And I fully consider Rob (a man 11 years my junior, who I will probably never meet, who I wouldn’t know what do do with if we did meet) to be my rebound guy. And I still consider him to be a step up from the last bf.


    And until the two days ago when my boss announced he was closing the business I was fully prepared to visit a friend in NYC this summer (the worst possible time to visit NYC) so the two of us could stalk Rob. Even though we both know that neither of us would dare approach him.

    I guess we’ve all gone a little crazy. But we are thankfully not Pattinson Pants crazy. If we weren’t crazy I wouldn’t have LTT and LTR and Rob himself to make me laugh on a daily basis. Thanks!

  36. I joined Twitter because of my Twilight obsession after I said to all my RLfriends that I hate Facebook, Myspace and other lame social networks and will NEVER join. Of course I will never follow any of them or let them follow me. Twitter is just for keeping in touch with my TWi-friends.
    I DL hundreds of Rob’s pics and I am sending them to all my female friends, whether they want them or not. I think THE BOY is so beautiful and I should spread the word.
    I talk to my real life BFF about Rob all the time. He is male , not into me, has a girlfriend and he started to listen and like him. He says I should be Rob’s PR.

    I intend to fly across Atlantic ocean for the premiere of New Moon, because there is no way I am gonna wait for it until february in Europe.
    Normal, right?!

  37. Normal!

  38. And, I forgot, I follow LTR/LTT girls on Twitter, send them replies, talk to them as if we were old friends. And they don’t know who I am.
    Sorry girls, I like you even if you don’t like/follow me back.

  39. ” How gay. Oh, and you know I’ll be there…” you DAILY make my day!

    we all love you back and so will Rob when he meets you and moon for real!

    (ps. you went to Hot Topic and i went to Borders – me and my other 100 year old friend – sorry for making you second hand embarrassed)

  40. OMG I loved this entry! I love Twilight also! And how weird is it that I talked about Edward Cullen on my blog just an hour ago? LMAO

  41. zOMG UC. I totally get where you’re coming from. If you switch Rob/Edward for Jackson/Jasper and add a couple years onto my age…I could have totally written this blog. Twilight has turned me into a raving lunatic. And, it really wasn’t that good. At all, actually. Yet, still I bought the movie and have my ‘Jazzled4life’ t-shirt just waiting to come out on Nov. 20…*facepalm*

  42. Well UC i think you are normal, its evident because there’s so many of us so that shows that twilight naturally brings out this type of reaction!

    So I’m only 17 and having an obsession over something is usually deemed as being normal but iv never been that obsessed over something till now! Yes thats right, twilight has taken over my life!
    At first i though i was insane because NONE of my friends had even heard of twilight (don’t panic i fixed that!), then i found LTT and LTR and realised that there were people like me!

    I pretty much live in the Forks of Scotland, wee town, rains all the time surrounded in every direction with green, yet i want to travel all the way to america to go to a wee drenched town much like home just because i read about it in a book! needless to say that my parents are not funding any trip to Forks soon!

    oh yeh me and my ONE real life twilight friend seen a silver volvo c30 for the first time the other day, i thought my heart was going to stop!

    im even inside reading LTT and LTR for today despite the fact it’s sunny outside and its almost never sunny here!

  43. UC, Moon and LTT/LTR girls

    It was last year November when I first heard about twilight through Ellen Show and guess who was the guest of the show that episode, Robert Pattinson. I am a Harry Potter fan so I knew he played Cedric and also have done some other movies. But the amount of scream and craziness I witnessed for the first time in the show was unbelievable. So my curosity peaked and I started to research about this so called twilight saga. Forgive me but I was living under a rock. And I rarely watched television after I graduated High School and never had a personal computer with internet. But thank god, my mother gifted me a computer[in November]. So after watching the show I googled, youtubed and did something-something in internet. Remember it was all for research and my mere curosity about this movie, books and Robert Pattinson and his sudden fame-hype. Then befiore I know it I was a serious internet addict for twilight and Robert. I watched every freaking interview of the cast. I was addicted. I was obsessed. But I never releaved a single thing about my crack to anyone in my life. Because first of all, Summit didn’t released twilight in our country, second, I came to know twilight through Ellen [God bless Ellen] and no one I know watches her show because English is our second language. So in conclusion my twilight/Robert life is unknown to all except two people who are very much into their RL but they support me and never make me feel ashamed because I love twilight and Robert like air and water. It’s sad that those RL friends have no time to hang out with me regualrly and neither do I. Now I believe God must love me because in January I stumbled upon your blogs and found *sparkly*mines[edited gold mines reference with Edward’s *sparkles*]. But I was in denial since November about my obsession and it took another four months to have the courage to post a comment here. Remember the long ass letter on 22 April on LTR, yeah I do because it was the day when Forum was born. After that I never looked back or should I say, you broke my denial shell and I openlly admitted[well anonymously] that I am infact a Robert Pattinson fan and an obsessed twilight fan. I found amazing, funny, witty, awesome internet friends. And not a day goes by when I don’t think about your blogs, you girls and my obsession.

    You all have given me courage and bravery to be honest with my twi/robcrack addiction and even making fun of myself while doing it. I have utmost respect and gratitude towards you all because without your blogs and you, I don’t know what kind of fan I would have became and I really don’t want to think about that.

    Let me just say, all the things that we do are normal because what is normal anyways. If someone thinks such and such things are normal but others agree to disagree so would that them abnormal. I don’t think so. Now, with all the twi/rob glory I say we are normal. And everything that has been written here is normal. I am 22 year old, female, univ. student. I am a Twilight and Robert Pattinson’s obsessed fan and I am normal.

    So UC, your normal. And your blog. That’s normal. : )

  44. Oh one more thing, your blogs and my obsession has given me inspiration to write about my twi/rob life in my blog. I think it’s start of endless blogging about my secret about dearest twi/rob life.

    Thanks girls. : )

  45. See! And my bf thinks _I_ got it bad. Hmph.

  46. Well – I’m laughing so hard mostly because I do all of the things everyone has mentioned – my hubby is great though, he’s taking me to Forks next year (we live in the UK lol)
    I’ve bought him a peacoat like RP wears in the film too
    He’s been understanding LOL I guess it helped that I threw myself wholeheartedly into his Dr Who obsession when we married !!
    I’m 27, and whenever I think I’m too old I remember EC still has 81 years on me !!!!

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