Storytime with UC & the 100Monkeys

Dear 100Monkeys,

I have a story to share with you today. That’s all.


Once upon a time in the city of Philadelphia, UC arrives to 2nd street and is walking away from the parking garage towards Triumph Brewery. Suddenly 4 sweaty boys with guitars on their backs come RUNNING from another street. It is the 100Monkeys. Someone yells “Jackson!” and UC cringes with 2nd-hand embarassment and quickly looks away, afraid someone will think she is a crazy Twilight fan.  Instead of going to the club to meet her friend, UC proceeds to follow the 100Monkeys, just as any good blogger in desperate need of content would do. But they continue on past the Triumph Brewery and, alas, UC is hungry and running a few minutes late.

The first east coast LTT/LTR dinner is a success and a few drinks later, everyone proceeds to The Kyber to see what other 2nd-hand embarrassing moments await them.

Soon after arriving, UC points out the Bella Tattoo, which we learned on Sunday was tattooed so that Rob would decide to love her for eternity.


Frustrated with the lack of Twilight T-shirts in her vicinity, UC decides to take a walk with JustGotWicked. Ah ha! There they spy the Monkey-aholics in the front of the line. They’re sure to provide 2nd-hand embarrassing moments! They did not dissapoint. Exhibit 1: Home-made canvas Team100Monkey bags:


Continuing on down the line, Monkeyhats are spotted!


Some guy who apparently is in the 2nd opening band approaches them & they decide to snap a snot with him. Just cause. It’ll make him feel famous. Instead of a broke guy in an awful band.


Do you spy my tounge? I do


and look! A huge Stuffed Monkey!


UC decides all this work is tiring and needs a break with Calli & Amourpsu for some shots

Find out what happens after the shots (Here’s a teaser- UC falls down the bar’s stairs) after the jump

The line is starting to move and people are being let in. UC looks up to the 2nd story of the club and notices a nice old man. Wondering if he’s Jackson’s grandpa, she points him out to the other girls. Someone takes his picture. And then he motions for us to flash him. Uh uh. Jackson’s grandpa is a dirty old man!


Suddenly appearing in the window next to the dirty old man is the bass player for the 100Monkeys. The band is upstairs? UC & her friends now know where they’re going as soon as they get in the door.

Finally they get through the door. And who do they see? Oh, it’s Marty, the Bananager.


There was a mob of people in the room where the band would play and at the downstairs bar, so UC & friends went straight upstairs after seeing Marty. It was there they discovered the 100Monkeys, having a band meeting. They ordered drinks. They hung around inconspicuously.

They got 2nd-hand embarrassed by a girl with bubbles who was trying to get Jackson’s attention


They used the bathroom a few times which happened to be in the room where the band was meeting (before you say that’s stalkerish, you need to understand the small size of UC’s bladder)

UC got 2nd-hand embarrassed when she, after meeting a co-star of Jackson’s who was waiting for him but decided to stop waiting and text him instead, heard a girl say “Can I have Jackson’s number?”

UC gets a picture with the big stuffed monkey

At this point I had way too many drinks in me to be 2nd hand embarrassed

At this point I had way too many drinks in me to be 2nd hand embarrassed

They pass by The 100Monkey’s bass player and he smells like a whole lotta pot.

UC & friends spot a DJ in the room past where the band was meeting.


And when they get tired of being respectful of the band’s space* and instead decide to make the poor DJ’s day and dance to the tunes he was spinning, they enter the room past the 100Monkeys and do just that. Dance their socks off. But not before getting 2nd-hand embarrassed at the shirt Marty the Bananager was wearing**


*I have no pics of the guys having a meeting. I’d never do that. Ever
**I asked Marty if I could post this pic.

It’s time for the band to go on. Somehow UC ends up near the front (well, “somehow” is because the DOOR to the room was at the front of the stage) and the following occurred:

Jackson entered, and blinked. Aw! Just like we do!

Jackson entered, and blinked. Aw! Just like we do!

The band made a ruckus. Or was that music?

The band made a ruckus. Or was that music?

Jackson looked cute

Jackson looked cute

Jackson sweated, a lot

Jackson sweated, a lot

UC spied a monkey hat

UC spied a monkey hat

A monkey bag was left, unattended, on a speaker. We confiscated it

A monkey bag was left, unattended, on a speaker. We confiscated it

Marty the Bananager shared his sweat with the crowd

Marty the Bananager shared his sweat with the crowd

Jackson was surrounded by a shroud of light. UC thinks it was from being in the precense of Rob

Jackson was surrounded by a shroud of light. UC thinks it was from being in the presence of Rob

And then it was over. And UC’s ears began healing…

Stop blowing bubbles in my face. I gotta leave!

Stop blowing bubbles in my face. I gotta leave!

Watching the bananager mack it with two of her friends helped UC’s healing process greatly.

Sorry, Marty. They're both taken

Sorry, Marty. They're both taken

And once UC’s ears recovered, they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

So, real deal is…. I thought the band was awful. I truly think they are a bunch of friends from LA who are TALENTED musicians and love to get high. One day they were high and said. “I know.. let’s ride out Jackson’s fame and play some shows across the country.” So a bunch of talented kids who love to get high are riding around the country in a van, knowing they can sell out 6 nights in Philly, b/c they’re friend was a vampire in a movie. To me their sound was dated and not very creative. They play 3 chords and make up lyrics- and sweat… a lot…. but Jackson is hot. And the rest of the band isn’t so hard to look at either. And Marty is very sweet. But I’ll bet you $10, you 100Monkeys fans & the 2 girls on twitter who tweet-hated me for not liking them, they’re not gonna be around for too much longer. Jackson will get way busier, the high will wear off and one of these days one of the girls Marty dances with will steal his heart. And that banana costume will eventually be so smelly he’ll never want to put it on again….

Much love to Trixi, Amourpus, JustGotWicked, Mary, Cathy & your daughter & friends for coming out! I HAD SO MUCH FUN!

 The Group *minus 3 who came after this pic was taken!

The Group *minus 3 who came after this pic was taken!

137 Responses

  1. […] a practical time to date each other because Jax is too busy with Monkey girls in Monkey hats at his 100Monkey’s shows, and you’ve been quoted as saying your “boyfriend” is your “career” […]

  2. love it! now looking at the pictures, I DID SEE YOU!

    you should have seen the “jasper” pillow that one fan made for jackson at the first philly show. my face was red for him, lol.

  3. […] So Apparently opening bands LOVE to take pictures with the fans of the other performers. So we shouldn’t have been surprised when Ginger and his boys wanted to take pics with us… […]

  4. […] for 100 Monkeys? We give him cheesy shirts to wear, don’t include him on our 100 Monkeys canvas totes, and grind with him on the dance floor. He’s a person too! Give Marty his personal space and […]

  5. […] Not ONLY did we do this we even organized groups of people to see Jackson and the 100 Monkeys live! And while there, dirty-danced with the Bananager! To add to that we’ve also organized and […]

  6. […] this graph was made after they saw one of three things: 1. Attending (by mistake) a 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, or other random Twi-affiliated band’s concert (Canvas tote bags, Monkey hats, […]

  7. […] they will play at the closest dive bar or AT your event. He also requested that you hand wash the bananager’s costume, cause trust after a 3 month tour of the east coast’s finest shit holes that thing smells […]

  8. […] really drunk- and in that case- just run up on stage and start hitting the snare) Case and point: This show that I went to in May (which was worth the misery because of all the amazing LTR gals I got to hang out […]

  9. Hello, I was wondering where you guys get that stuffed monkey? I am trying really hard to find it. I only found a small version of it on amazon and its even sold out. Would u guys show me where i can buy that stuffed monkey?

  10. […] maybe in a few years I’ll think about attending one again after my ears heal from the last time I saw the band in Philadelphia. secret However, in keeping with the theme of “Whatever happened to” and in no way […]

  11. I just found this article today and I was curious if you still feel that way today…? Have you seen 100 Monkeys again? What do you think of their musical stylings and “fame” now?

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