Fake lesbians are something to talk about

Dear Nikki & Kristen,

People are talking, so I’m here with my bi-weekly fake lesbian joke….. You know I can’t help it. You girls are just easy targets. Don’t get me wrong, I love to hold hands with my girlfriends, and I’m a kisser- I smack one right on the lips anytime I see a friend I love, but there’s just something about you two…I hear them whisper when they see the way you look at each longingly… well, you stare just a little too long.. There’s something about the way you hold hands- it’s a little more intimate than most friends- you stand just a little too close. Sometimes it seems like your knowing glances towards each other are saying,

“Wanna go back to our room and compare notes about Rob while drinking cheap champagne and then pretend to be drunk and “accidentally” make out? Then realize the reason we found no pleasure in Rob was because we’re actually into chicks?”

Have you girls talked about it? Nikki are you acting nervous? Kristen do you feel so foolish to have never noticed? There’s just something about it.. are you thinking about each other every day? Something about you two…. are you dreaming about each other every night? Are you hoping that you both feel the same way? There’s something there…something that just gives us all something to talk about…

Lets give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love?

Now that you know, let’s really show it, darlings,

Thanks to the fabulous Kim at BuddyTv who made this amazing video! Kim is the provider of all amazing Twilight content at BuddyTv!


37 Responses

  1. Happy Hump Day!!!! 🙂 Always bringing a smile to my face…great job UC!!!!

  2. I think that what Kristen and Nikki have is called: Mamihlapinatapai, the awkward feeling of wondering if it’s the right moment to make a move. (thanks to @aplusk –ashton kutcher for introducing me to this awesome word)…..

    …I mean srsly…they fit the description.

    great post. love it. –ash

    • hahaha… you’re RIGHT!

      • thank you 🙂

        and I meant to say early…kissing girl friends on the lips beause you haven’t seen them in a while…totally not awkward…KStew and Nikki…def. awkward…

  3. That was an awesome video! Don’t know why I never thought it, but me thinks it’s true. LOL

    • it IS true… and if it’s not.. it’s fun to pretend 🙂

  4. DUDE!! instead of holding hands with her bf.. she holds hands with nikki.. while her bf is right next to her =S

    • more proof!

    • Well, and those shots of Michael in Vancouver look totally stage. You should check out how Kristen just STARES into the cameras the whole time.

    • something about that is SOOO wrong. poor oregano.

      • Oh Poor Oregano, nothing! He’s livin’ the dream! It’s the only explanation for him sticking around.

        PS loved K checking out N’s boobs at about :40.

        • I definitely picked that clip for that very reason. Good catch!

  5. Now this should put all the Robsten rumors to rest at last…..haha

  6. Nice. Video = hilarity

  7. Did anyone notice at 2:23 kristen has one green eye and one brown one…lol, and the whole kiss your friend thing…maybe its cause Nikki’s had some experience with that, and she’s comfy…you think she’s living out “Thirteen” again???

    • i didn’t catch that! good catch… yes… i think nikki IS living out 13!

    • I thought of that during the Vanity Fair kiss. Nikki gives Kristen a very…teachery look.

    • that’s because kristen’s eyes are actually green, but she had to wear contacts-
      when I first saw the movie I was like, oh, cool, she has green eyes … then I read everywhere that they were brown and … well, I guess the green sometimes simmered through. Just like the vampires’ natural eye colours couldn’t alway be covered up.

  8. Dear NReed and KStew,

    I know you are of the age that seems to demand you um, experiment. Heck, all my college girlfriends have kissed and held hands, but that was in college (not me – I’ve always loved the peen). That’s normal.
    But you may want to tone it down in public. Those pics from the early 20’s always come back to haunt and embarrass later in life. They will be shown at your wedding rehearsal and to your kids eventually.
    Trust me, it’s highly uncomfortable (or so my friends tell me. I wouldn’t know. *blushing*). So, just keep the beaver bumpin’ behind closed doors k?

    Love (really hate),

  9. okay…so i posted this here once before. But i don’t think anyone saw it.

    Interview with nikki reed:

    in case you don’t feel like watching the whole thing, towards the end, the guy asks her what she would buy with all the money from twilight and she says “a ring for my girlfriend kristen stewart.”

    enough said.

    • Nice find! There’s totally some beneath-the-surface significance attached to that “my gf KStew” comment, and DUDE – she messed up! At the beginning, when the guy asks her about Rosalie, she says her name as “Rosalie Cullen”, not Rosalie Hale! Am I pathetic for noticing that? Of course.

      • no you’re a fan, she is not!

        good to see you back around here!

      • But she is married to Emmett right?

  10. Kim (@BTV_Twilight) is AWESOME … was tweeting with her while she was working on the idea and WOW did it turn out GREAT!!! *bows*

    • Thank you 🙂 It was truly a team effort. Finishing at 3am with Rainer in hand = glory

      • amazing video kim i laugh every time i watch it… the longing looks coupled with the song is SOOOO perfs

  11. Hilarious!

  12. N-Stew. I loves it.

  13. hahahah this was amazing..

  14. Steweed…..perfect. on more than one level.

    I am a kisser and hugger too. I’m sorry for anyone who drinks with me, it gets worse as the night goes on. LOL

    • me too! i’ve very huggy after a few… hands, arms, hugs, necks, it’s all fair game!

    • Steweed…LMAO!!

  15. I really like Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed,there’s not a thing about them (that I know of, from the viewpoint of a fan) that I would change, if I had the power to do such a thing.

    But your site always cracks me up, and I enjoy every single fake lesbian comment.

    • I especially like that the fake lesbian comments are BI-weekly.

      • I didn’t catch that. Hilarious!

  16. These are too funny! Someone did awesome work on these. Kinda makes you wonder about K-Stupid and Nik-Nik, don’t it? 😉

  17. […] others to draw attention to yourself. *SMILES* Nikki: I just want to clear up the air. i AM NOT a fake lesbian like UC and Moon are writing on and on about. Calliope: So you are a real lesbian? Nikki: No! […]

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