Told you all they weren’t in Vancouver yet

Dear people in the media who jump to conclusions instead of doing research like you were taught in your 2nd day of undergrad,

I told you the cast wasn’t in Vancouver yet.  (Okay, I didn’t tell you- but I can provide e-mail PROOF where I wrote it to many friends in the past few days.. and I meant to post something yesterday about the “crazies” believing the “lies,” but I got busy.. I am a busy gal, what with all the making out I do with my Edward Cullen pillowcase Robert Pattinson.)

When I first read what Melissa Rosenberg said, I immediately knew it was taken out of context or her words were mixed around. Here is what she supposedly said:

“I can tell you the original cast will all be coming back. They’re on set right now, in Vancouver! They’re all up there prepping the movie to start shooting very soon.”

My guess, from the first moment I read this, was that she said “I can tell you the original cast will all be coming back,” and then the interviewer said- “Yeah- I hear Taylor is too! Awesome. He’s looking smokin’ hot and a little like Adam Brody. I bet everyone is itchin’ to start filming” to which Melissa said “They’re on set right now, in Vancouver! They’re all up there prepping…”

Immediately I said… duh- the crew is in Vancouver.. prepping. B/c last I checked, “big” stars like KStew and Rob aren’t setting up mics, lighting and staging. I mean, maybe I’m wrong.. maybe Rob signed up to be on catering crew this time around b/c of his love for making tuna melts. Yeah, that must be it. You’re right, I’m wrong. Rob IS in Vancouver.

Also, I’ve actually some posts on blogs “Congratulating” Rob and Kristen for getting to Vancouver without being filmed and/or photographed. OMG! THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE! Those days are OVER! If Kristen gets filmed at the VET (which she did yesterday, in case you’ve been living under a rock- and if you are living under a rock and still read this blog, please e-mail us, I want to give you a prize), do you think it’s actually possible for her to go to LAX or Rob to Heathrow without anyone catching them? NO WAY JOSE!

A hilarious friend and I were discussing the absurdity of this  “Twilight news” today and she said she’s praying that the psycho crazies who don’t do their research (or just DON’T think logically) already made the trip up to Vancouver, expecting to see Rob, but instead have found nothing but gaffers, Best Boys and 3rd assistant directors. SUCKERS!

Plus, unless you live in a small tiny box in the middle of the words with no friends or internet connection, everyone has heard about all the snow in London.  There’s been no buses running and over 800 flights were canceled.  Rob’s ass is at home, staying out ’til 3 am, sleeping ’til noon and only waking when his mama tells him to come down and eat his Wheatbix. Rob is in the SNOW. Just like me! I feel connected to him already.

So seriously, media people and bloggers who believe the absurdity, just take a second and think it through… the cast is NOT in Vancouver. (and I’m really pissed about it because my plane ticket here was NOT cheap.. plus I’ve been laying naked on my hotel bed for the past 24 hours, covered in rose petals waiting for Rob to get the note & room key I left on the beat-up BMW I saw outside of the hotel, and I really have to pee)

Kristen is PISSED cuz Michael told her she CANNOT have a tuna melt if Rob had any part in making it. And she REALLY loves Tuna melts

Kristen is PISSED cuz Michael told her she CANNOT have a tuna melt if Rob had any part in making it. And she REALLY loves Tuna melts

UnintendedChoice xo

Pic stolen from here (yeah, that’s right. I’m badass, I steal stuff)

How about your put your dissapointment about Rob still being in the UK* into a poem or something for our Twi-alentines day contest!

*dissapointment does not apply to fans in UK who never want him to leave.

32 Responses

  1. Is that “pissed” pic similar to the other ten thousand pictures of her looking like a grumpy hobo?

    I feel some closure, knowing Kstew is not infact a sour puss but an avid lover of tuna melts.

  2. Oh, you know I am laughing. Giggling. Chuckling. And suddenly craving a tuna melt. And Wheatabix.

    I’m going to use one of the Sephora gift cards I received at Christmas to buy KStew some concealer. Seriously.

  3. @Leigh Anne…she NEEDS more than just concealer… she needs some FIBER…maybe she won’t look so constipated all the time!!!

    P.S. I could have sworn Taylor said they weren’t gonna start filming till the end of march….remember when he was showing off the abs and stuff…LOL

  4. I have no idea why…but the bags under Kristen’s eyes frighteningly make her resemble a raccoon.

    Anyhow…I hope you get to pee soon. When you are nakey and gotta pee, well…it’s torture.

  5. Dear Kristen,
    The non-showering/non-hair washing is only sexy when Rob does it… take a shower girl!

    Respectfully (enough),

  6. @UC, yet again you make my day. I can’t stop laughing.
    I didn’t think they would be there already since they weren’t supposed to start until March. Yeah and Taylor may have said something about that but I was paying too much attention to the muscles I guess. And no I am not team Jacob/Taylor, just checking out the muscles.

  7. A pic of Kristen sulking…I’ve never seen that before. Maybe she’s missing her fake lesbo lover Nikki Reed and wishing she’d hold her hand as she takes her dog to the vet.

    As a journalism/pr student, it saddens me that so many of my collegues (and I use that term loosely) cannot do ANY research. But I guess if they read it in a blog (not this one, of course), then IT MUST BE TRUE!! People don’t lie in blogs (seriously, UC really is naked in a hotel room somewhere in Vancouver).

  8. Also, Rob, while your at it, throw a melt on the grill for me, too. It’s lunchtime and I’m hungry!

  9. hahaha hilarious as always

    I can just picture robs mum making him weetabix with hot milk to keep him all toasty warm in all the snow we’ve got over here in the UK. bless.

  10. wtf is wheatabix people???

    ps naked and hotel and rose petals. AMAZING

  11. Moon it’s a british cereal, think it’s not long made it over to the USA…

  12. you crack me up…daily. I ❤ you two. and Wow, that just gives the term “sour puss” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?

  13. @UC- This was so GREAT! I knew that he was not in Vancouver yet contrary to all of those reports. I would have felt it in my bones if he was on my soil. Ha ha!
    Loved the part about ‘what with all the making out I do with my Edward Cullen pillowcase (Rob)’. Hilarious!
    I also LOVED the part about the psycho crazies already in Vancouver! I can just see them standing there (at the studio) trying to get a glimpse of our GOD! Ha ha. Hope there’s a blizzard!

  14. As a UK’er that’s been stuck in the snow (sadly without Mr Pattinson keeping me warm) I can tell you now that the snow has gone so Rob is free to leave whenever.BUT the snow is due back tomorrow night so he only has a 24 hour window! And I am sorry I don’t often comment on Kristen but wtf is wrong with the girl??? you’re a talented actress, you get to make out with RP….for the love of all that is holly SMILE!!!! It won’t kill you! Rant over i am off to pray to the snow gods to help me make Rob stay in the UK 🙂

  15. Maybe she is sad because she had to put her cat down. Cats die, you know.

  16. @Sass – oh that Rob, always so intuitive and smart lol

  17. @verbena- wow, that looks WAY un-tasty. maybe im wrong and it’s the best thing since frosted flakes but i dont know 😀 thanks for enlightening me though!

  18. Wow, she looks like she’s coming down hard.

  19. Have you ladies looked at the whole series of pics, Amazing….She looks RUFF!!
    Love, love, LOVE this letter!! You had me rolling on the floor, I actually just woke the baby up that’s how loud I laughed.
    @Leigh Anne—She needs the whole friggin store!! Concealer is step one of 100 in the quest to make KStew look Human again!!
    PS– Mikey Oregano did not look too happy, and the looks kstew was throwing at the back of his head did not spell out “Bliss”! Think there’s trouble in Paradise?
    Or is he just mad that UC named him after a tasty italian spice.

  20. I am laughing at Mrs. P’s comment. I’d offer to take KStew to Sephora for a make-over, but I have to clean the litterbox…darn some socks…work on my taxes…and practice my picnic etiquette.

    And MOON–girl, don’t you be hating on some Weetabix. I existed on that stuff when I lived in Ireland that one summer. It’s GOOD. Promise.

  21. Yeah i think she misses Nikki 😦 maybe that’a why Michael Oregono is upset, they dont seem to be getting along alot anymore…..hmmm i wonder why….? lol. Well i hope it snows more in America, but hey why not go to London..hmmm 🙂

  22. Also, why are her eyes all red… gosshh get some sleep your gonna need it… save depressing moments for New Moon hopefully u do better as depresed.

  23. @ unintendedchoice I’ve tried really hard still no snow! Apparently it’s being delivered tonight though so my wicked plan to keep Rob away from Kristen may still go ahead…….and I have to say LOVE this site! It always makes me laugh/smile/various other reactions! Right stepping it up a gear, off to worship at the temple of the snow gods…..

  24. @Mrs. P…wow, I just checked out the rest of the pics and I am seriously thinking now that her cat did die….she looks wiped!!

  25. God, UC, you kill this shit! You really need to do a stand-up routine. I’ll pay to come and see it. MAybe you could get Rob there and we could all have an on-stage LTR orgy. Whew, he’d be one tired pup.

  26. oh robbie,i’d fix you tuna melt sandwiches and whetabix (although not exactly at the same time) anytime of the day you want

  27. I dont think she is pissed ppl she is HIGH look at her eyes RED

  28. haha makin out with ur edward pillow case???i do that too!haha and the naked in the hotel room covered in rose petal waiting for him haha not a bad idea at all! i should athought of that. ur hilarios! i think wed get along well lol

  29. Actually, they’re filming in Whistler.

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