I demand equality

Dear Summit/Twilight or Whomever controls the media monster,

I want to know why pictures like this of all the other cast members are coming out:

camliscious1drcullen1kegger2

and only pictures like this are coming out of Rob:

Robert Pattinson vintage-pattz

WTF??? Did Kristen Stewart put you all up to this?

I demand equality. I need some shirtless/pantless pictures of Robert Pattinson (post puberty please) ASAP!

Love me, vickyb

The Saturday am Dirt

Dear Twilight,

  • After taking this quiz, I realized I didn’t know as much about New Moon as I should (but challenge me in RPattz trivia and you’re going DOWN)
  • I forgot how much I love this interview (WARNING: do not watch in front of your tiny children, little sister, mom, grandpa or Amish friends)
  • Do you think this Twilight app for the iPhone will make help me convince my husband it’s worth the $400 in fees we’d have to pay (not the mention the $400 in new phones) to get rid of Verizon? (I just read this aloud to him, and he said “no,” damn)
  • I never have as much fun as I do while watching Twilight parodies:
    Vodpod videos no longer available.
  • Breaking news: Kristen is sulking (I know, hard to believe, huh?)
  • So I’m really anti-Datkota-Fanning-playing Jane, but I feel like I’m the only one. Am I? Is everyone else okay with this?
  • Damn you France- why isn’t this amazing Twilight Special mag in English and in my hands right now?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Oh where, oh where is my Twilight book?

Today we present another posting of “Where in the world is the Twilight book?”


Dear Twilight book,
Although I am now reading Breaking Dawn in the Twilight series (for the 3rd time), I must say YOU hold the most of the special places in my heart outta all 4 books!!
a
twilight-in-classrooma
Thank you for coming to work with me today, it’s sure to be more bearable during this test taking time…I’m sure most of the 5th grade tweenies in my class are just green with envy that I have you in my possesion!!
a
MUAHAHA…Anyway be reading you soon…Ciao!
a
H’s & K’s,
KrazyKidd
a

Keep repeating it… he is 16, he is 16

uhhh.... what's the age of consent?

uhhh.... what's the age of consent?

Dear Taylor-

Could you please stop looking like the buff cousin of Adam Brody? It’s really making it hard for us to remember you’re only 16… not to mention REALLY hard to concentrate at work.

Good heavens…

US (themoonisdown and unintendedchoice)

PS us saying he looks ANYTHING like Adam Brody is a BIG deal

Edward Cullen as a bunny

Dear cute bunnies acting out Twilight,

Thanks for making me laugh!

Bella the Bunny

(If this isn’t actually funny, I blame the 1/2 bottle of merlot I just consumed while reading Eclipse)

Love,
(tipsy) UnintendedChoice

Fans still love Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Nope. We haven’t forgotten about you. We’ve been a little distracted by all the NReed/KStew lesbo talk and the Kellan Lutz “good boy from your youth group” stories, but we still love you.

While Rob is definitely out-shining you in the letter department, people do still write to YOU too.  See, I’ll prove it:

xo

twi-movie-companion1Dear People at Target,

I swear I am not crazy…and I am not a biatch (well maybe sometimes)! I just find it really annoying and hard not to use my vampire strength to rip your throats out for selling the last copy of the Twilight Movie companion you had in stock to a tween who still can’t possibly know or understand how Edward can make someone ‘jizz her pants,’ as he does me! I understand how you are not really in control of when you will get restocked again, but do you know how inconvenient it is for me to have to wait until tomorrow to hit up Barnes and Noble when you’re just 5 mins from my house?!!?? Anyway sorry for glaring at you (cashier girl) with my ‘onyx-colored’ eyes…I swear they’re not always this color. Next time please try and keep better stock…k?

Thanks,

krazykidd

P.S.

My apologies to my fiancee who thought he might have to restrain me when that bitchfaced tween wallked past me with a smirk on her smug little face in triumph…for a SECOND there I wished I was Jane so I could put her dumbass on check!! (only for a SECOND)   

 

Dear Twilight,twi book covers

Who knew you were this addictive? I’m sure Stephenie Meyer’s publishers did. 

From December 23, 2008 to January 2, 2009 I was completely engrossed in the Twilight Saga that I didn’t even notice Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day! Honestly, there should be some sort of disclaimer on the back. Only took me 11 days to finish the series because “I had to know”. I thought I would be past my obsession once I finished all four books…now even it’s worse.

Now, I take random online quizzes about Twilight and their characters (so sad), and I cannot go to bed without hearing Bella’s lullaby. Also, (and this is hard for me to admit) I rub body shimmering lotion on my boyfriend so that he could sparkle like Edward. It’s safe to say I have a problem.

I will admit that I don’t obsess over the book more than I do over the movie. Watching the book come to life made me wish that this fantasy would never end! Every fibre of my being anticipates the release of the New Moon movie. In the meantime, I get my fix from fanmade videos and blogs (although I would prefer the official complete draft of Midnight Sun, hint hint Steph). 

Twilight, all that’s left to say is this: “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin“. 

Patiently trying to wait,

newtwilightlover (Shari)

Sundance is like, SOOoo commercial

eh. stuff.

eh. stuff.

Dear Pals-

We were recently sent this picture of Kristen Stewart hanging out at Sundance this week, and I just couldn’t help myself; the bitchface she was working called to me ,and I felt compelled to write down what I thought she was doing in this pic. Imagine this: Kristen is live blogging from Sundance on her mac…

Fade in…

kbitches livejournal
01/19/08-

yooo dudes i’m at sundance. just saw spike jonze. his niece is a twilight fan apparently. guess she loved the movie or whatever. god i was so happy when he didn’t ask for an autograph for her. bleh. i wonder if he knows where the good green is at here? it’s SOoooo boring. fucking utah n shit. i wish i could have snuck some in my shampoo bottle or something. tsa is so weak. don’t they know we like to wake n bake, man? wake and muther fucking baaaaake.

anyshit i guess nikki reed is coming up here. she kept calling saying she could totally come up if i needed her or whatever. guess she’s at the airport now who knows, at least that’s what the pictures on perez say. i’ve got my sister here to keep up my fake lesbo facade until nikki decides to show up. then we can hit the gifting suites and do a three way kiss with the girl at the paige denim booth while the paps are shooting.

so uh, yea. sundance.

k.

AND SCENE.

I promise some twi-girl love soon. We have something cooked up already. Stay tuned. and until then, perfect your bitchface with Kristen.

If you can stand it, watch this video of KStew being interviewed by MTV where she bitches about being asked about Twilight. Yea, we get it- you’re in a new movie called Adventureland, but don’t bite the hand that feeds.

Love,
ME (themoonisdown)

Also see: Sour Puss