One picture, Two takes: a blogger divided

kswhipTake 1 –

Dear Kristen –

I’m usually not your biggest fan (as you might know, if you read these other letters, seriously they’re for your own good!) but I saw this picture on TMZ (gross i KNOW!) and I had to stop and give you props, cause dang girl you’re keeping it real with that car. You could waste mad money on some car you won’t ever drive cause you’re on location making movies or just to keep up a fake appearances like so many other Hollywood dbags, but you don’t. A refreshing move in a city full of facades.


Me

KStew riding dirrrtay

KStew riding dirrrtay

Take 2-

Dear Kristen-

You don’t need to show us how “real” you are. We get it, you’re down with “the people” and you’re not enslaved to “the man,” by such superficial things like cars.

But honey, you might think about investing some of your weed money into a safer ride instead of smoking it up. Just a thought.

Oh and can you please move your shit-whip, it’s in my way and I need to fill up.

Thanks,
Me

25 Responses

  1. Gotta say it…I’m with you, Moon…on the second take, that is.

    She. Is. A. Poseur.

    End of story.

    This was hilarious!

  2. Def hilarious! I’m siding with Take 1 though.

  3. This is a tough call. I want to like her….but it is so very hard. She will have to prove herself in New Moon to get into my good graces.

  4. Now see, I started out liking Kristen.
    And I even thought that if I couldn’t have Rob, then I would want him and her together.
    But then my ‘acute fondness’ grew much, much stronger… so basically.. I don’t like her anymore.
    So basically.. I’m going with Take 2 here. Yeah, it’s cool she’s still driving a shitty truck like that.. but really? Don’t try to rub it us little people’s faces by keeping up that facade… we know you can get something nicer, we would get something nicer… SO GET SOMETHING NICER!
    k thanks.

    btw.. how mpg does that thing get? i know its not like some huge truck.. but im sure it hogs more gas then something else that you could afford to buy!

  5. @sam – you have a point with MPG.

    Edward: The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business.

    So, Kristen should clearly buy a Prius. BTW I did have to look up that quote, but I did open the book up to the right page on the first try.

  6. That must be the truck she bought off the set of Twilight. It was Charlie’s or something like that.
    Hey, I really like KStew. Ever since I saw her in Speak. But oh well I’ll laugh with the rest of you at her.

  7. @Valerie that does look like the truck Charlie drove. I always assumed it was the one “Bella” drove. Hmmmm.

  8. @Christa when you start opening the twi-books to the page you want on try #1… you know you’re an expert. Rob should thank you for that (And by thank you i mean come to my house and ravish me)

    I’m not sure how I feel here… I do know this, I can’t believe you read TMZ, Moon. Ew

    But re: KStew… we know she isnt’ buying nice clothes- those cute dresses are given to her- we know she doens’t have a nice car. she lives with mom and pop… michael ‘oregano’ prob buys their dinner and in-and-out when they go out..She’s an indie actress, i get that, but what is she spending her $$ on? And if it’s all on weed- do you think she’ll share?

  9. I want to like her, I really do. I’ll go with take 1, cause it makes me think she is a good person and is really trying hard.

    Besides, it it were my money, I’d probably blow it all on shoes, handbags and beer before I ever made it around to the dealership.🙂

  10. Take 2 is brilliant.
    You are brilliant.
    The End.

  11. @UC

    ROFLMAO Michael ‘Oregano’ that is some funny stuff!

    Also, regarding her being an indie actress….I KNOW! If she really wants to keep making movies nobody ever sees, I think she may be on the right track.

    Maybe that is the truck she drives when she goes to her dealers house in the hood to buy her Pineapple Express😉 Her other car is probably an Audi or something.

  12. Kristen Stewart said no to Rob Pattinson so clearly this is not a girl with her priorities in check.

    @ UC – Michael Oregano. LMAO – You. Are. AWESOME!

    @ Christa – Spank appreciates and applauds all perfectly placed Twilight references. Great work, fellow Twilightheader!

  13. I go with take #2 –

    And I think it’s impossible at this point to find anything to like about her – and it’s not because she’s the worlds worst person, let’s face it, she could be perfect and we’d hate her – it’s called the green-eyed monster!

    And damn, my eyes are GREEN! And I don’t think she’s posing for our sake, I think she might be trying this hard to impress someone else who is just a regular guy!

  14. All this has been fun, but are we sure that’s really her? The face doesn’t look right to me.

    • @Christa i read an interview somewhere where she said she drove that truck, so i’d say it’s her!

  15. I don’t have it in me to like her. I’m incapable.. she just seems like such an ungrateful brat in interviews that I want to bitch-slap her!

    ok, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel a little better now.

  16. I’d really like to side with Take 1, really. But I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. I can’t believe her. Like, come on Kristen, we know you love Rob deep inside and want to do everything he does and stuff. And if you wanted to show you’re “one of the people”, then you should have bought – at least – a GOL, a 307, or something like that, not that CRAP!

    Like, instead of going unnoticed, you actually attract attention with that blue, errant shit.

    So… I’m siding with Take 2

    NC

  17. i’m going with take #2. totally agree she cmoes off as an ungrateful little brat.

    @christa, maybe she looks off b/c there’s some emotion on her face? we’re not used to that!! or maybe it’s b/c she doesn’t look paler than a vampire, also something we’re not used to.

  18. @UC–you did not scold Moon for reading TMZ! Girl, you know that’s THE source for all things newsy and worthy. Well, TMZ and Perez, of course.

  19. Seeing as how I’m not a huge fan of KStew’s acting capabilities, I’m going to have to go with option 2 as well. Like Moon’s guy friend at work said, “she’s about as exciting to watch as oatmeal”.

  20. she seems to project an aversion to all the Hollywood fakeness. At least, she’s different …or trying to be.

  21. @christa- when i wrote the MPG thing, i was TOTALLY thinking of that quote! Great minds think alike, girl!🙂

    But yeah, like some of you.. I really wanted to like KStew… and I even started out to, like I mentioned before… but, no, I just obviously can’t do it anymore. Especially when she had ROB!! knocking at her door… and she flippin said NO for Michael Ang-a-whatever. That right there….wow. DUMBASS!🙂

  22. @sam…I’m EXTREMELY happy she decided to stay with Michael-whats-his-face…And i definitely think Take 2 is Awesome!! Great job girls!!! LOL

  23. p.s.
    I bet KStew spends all her $$ on BONGS and PIPES lol that must be one hell of a collection!!!😉

  24. Does anyone else not notice the license plate on the trunk is from Oregon? I think this is an old photo, probably a car she bought to get around during shooting. Its only been after the movie release that the stars shot to fame and a little fortune. Rob drove an old a$$ BMW that was falling apart, but in the pics with his short hair he’s got a brand new Audi. Just saying.

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