Sour Puss

Dear Kristen-

Please try to look excited or interesting for once in your life. You seem like a nice gal and I realize you’re 18 and trying to be really cool n indie n shit and probably had to endure one too many Hot Topic appearances BUT honey, you get to stand next to a gorgeous boy at all these photo calls,  you get to wear cute clothes and your shoes are killer. You get to make a living being an actor. You’ve gotten to kiss not only Rob Pattinson, but Adam Brody AND Emile Hirsh for crying out loud. Life is NOT that hard.

I dare you to look like you’re having a good time. Just once.

The end.



ps i almost fell asleep making this

27 Responses

  1. i seriously about fell asleep looking at the pic collage.

    the girl has kissed TWO out of the top 5 on my list (the other spots are actually still open, so I’m taking names if you’re interested…) and so i hate her for it.

    i also love her, though.. oh the conundrum..

  2. I feel for poor Kristen. My face doesn’t have a lot of expression either. I’ll be having the best day, be totally happy, and people will ask me what’s wrong. I didn’t choose to act though. Don’t get me wrong. I love her, and I think she’s a great Bella. I just wish…well, like I said in my blog, I wish she’d learn a few new facial expressions. Judging by what people are saying online a lot of people think she’s perfect for Bella because Bella doesn’t express herself a whole lot either. I disagree. Alice says that she has forgotten how “exuberant” Bella is while she was away. I think Bella is quiet around people because she’s keeping secrets, and she’s careful around vampires not only so that she doesn’t become a meal but mostly so they are not too uncomfortable. But her nature, now that she has found per place, is “exuberant”, hense the “Oops” when she loses control.

  3. I almost forgot. It’ll take someone like Kristen to do New Moon, assuming they stick to the plot, of course.

  4. […] French translator.  I noticed you seemed to understand the announcer, while Kristen (aka French Sourpuss) looked at you for guidance.  Do you speak […]

  5. […] Make Kristen Stewart aka Sour Puss smile at least 3-4 times by our hilarious […]

  6. Found Another One….

    Enjoy the Sourness!!

  7. let me see if this works…

    Here goes nothing…if it looks like gibberish, moon and unintended, go ahead and delete it…if you can 🙂

    • That’s from the Rome Film Festival Q&A, I think. I remember watching one of the parts, and they have to keep the headphones on for translation, and Kristen said, “Sorry, I missed the question b/c I stupidly had my headphones off.” And then looked at Rob for guidance? I actually cringed at that. So embarassing and rude!

      I am one of the KStew fans though, so don’t hate on me! I think she’s doing a great job for what’s been suddenly thrust into her life. I do hate that I hear negative things about her and her feelings on Twilight (who knows if they’re actually true) and it sort of taints the movies for me. Like she doesn’t really want to be doing it. But then I think she does. *sigh* Ah well.

  8. Woo Hoo!! success!!

  9. Yes, I’m rereading all of your back posts…

    And this has got to be one of my faves. Honestly, you said it better than anyone else ever has.

    Kristen needs to go back to being Toke-a-hontas. She seems to be a much more pleasant person when she’s been getting her blaze on.

    Also, in that same vein, let’s not even pretend to act like we all don’t know that she and Rob had some serious method acting going on last Spring. They may have been shooting Twilight, but I’m positive those two went ahead and prepared for some Isle of Esme shenanagins. She should STILL have a big ol’ smile on her face. I’m just sayin’.

  10. @Mrs P – god, those are rough to look at… i think i may need to revisit this one in a bit

    @Leigh Anne – you have hit the nail on the head. UC and I have LONG discussed the fact that they TOTALLY got it on during filming and this is why she’s so awkward around him (vanity fair video, interviews, her life in general) and now she’s trying to act like she’s so above it. PAH-LEASE!

    uh yea and her smokin up in public and trying to act all too kool for skool lesbos with nikki reed is TIRED. give it up. you have the personality of a wet blanket.

    and i will try not to punch her in the neck when rob and i inevitably meet and fall madly in love

  11. @moon–I mean, for real. I want to like her. I try to like her. But her attempts at mature mysteriousness fall flat. Oh, and I especially love when she’s all, “I love the books as much as the fans.” No. You don’t. And I will say that to your face.

    There is so much proof out there that those two were getting jolly together. (Instantly, 3 interviews/videos come to mind…we should compile a list.) And like we care that she has a boyfriend, or that she & Rob most likey ceased their “methodness” the minute filming wrapped. I don’t ship Rob and Kristen. I can’t. I’m now too busy shipping Moon and Rob, of course.

    She could totally make amends by giving all those fabulous pairs of Chanel shoes to me. Which I would, in turn, share with y’all. I’d also appreciate her solemn vow that she will not go overboard with the suttering/eye-blinking technique she employed so heavily in the final hospital scene of Twilight. Oh dear, I cringe even thinking about it now.

    I will not allow you to punch her in the neck–’cause we’ll have to invite her to the Moon/Pattinson wedding,and I want her bruise-free. She’ll have to get pouty in the pics for People magazine. (And yes, that will be me and UC in several of the pictures–smiling hugely, ’cause we know there’s a QUAD train on the track.)

    p.s. You should totally get Steven Curtis Chapman to sing “I Will Be Here” at your wedding. There wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house.

  12. @leigh anne – yes! mature mysteriousness FAIL! dude just be 18 and be alright with that! it’s cool to like books and nerdy shit and it’s ok to SMILE once in a while.

    ok ok i will not punch her if she hands over that black n white dress and the red/black/white dress (from the premier) and her shoes… then you guys can take her out back at the reception and slap the pout off.

    OMG ‘i will be here’ it was the big joke that i was going to sing that at my brothers wedding. i did not. so i pretty much think you and UC are the official wedding planners.

  13. […] which starts shooting in a few weeks (You are preparing right? because you will be working beside a depressed sourpuss, and we know that is totally her bag!)  Looks like your hair will be back to “Edwardian […]

  14. […] off the green for the day, gets her hair professionally done and SMILES. I can’t take any sour puss fighting for screen time next to […]

  15. She is so gorgeous too, but she never smiles. It makes me sad! 😦

  16. […] is NOT a scene in the movie… that is THEM. and this vid is sweet before kstew became a huge sourpuss. UC: DUDE i’m not done but her on his back? yeah? he was ALLL about that Friend #1: but did […]

  17. […] that is NOT a scene in the movie… that is THEM. and this vid is sweet before kstew became a huge sourpuss. UC: DUDE i’m not done but her on his back? yeah? he was ALLL about that Friend #1: but did […]

  18. […] We won’t mention your sour-puss-ishness […]

  19. I find her to be like a deer in the spotlights, not knowing what to do or what to say… the whole ‘sourpuss’ thing is insecurity and uncertainty.

    Celebrity is fucked – must be a lot to deal with.

  20. […] and just wanted to thank you for making Kristen smile! It seems like a long time since that ol sour puss has seemed genuinely happy and excited to doing something, even walking down the street with you! I […]

  21. […] of people not smiling – Are you talking about us after seeing THE TUCK or Kristen “Sour Puss” Stewart? Cause if that’s the case then we’ve got TONS of […]

  22. […] Make Kristen Stewart aka Sour Puss smile at least 3-4 times by our hilarious […]

  23. […] being a sourpuss couple. Be FUN celebrities! Learn from Fach, Kellan, TayTay and whoever is 26 and looking for a […]

  24. […] appreciate you making the sour-puss smile….(urgh..snake […]

  25. […] finish Midnight Sun in a timely fashion (like by Feb. 1st or something)5. Make Kristen Stewart aka Sour Puss smile at least 3-4 times by our hilarious commentaries.6. Bring you even more shirtless pictures of […]

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