Mr. Choice watches New Moon

Dear Unicorns, LTTers & those who care about a man’s opinion of New Moon,

Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary with Mr. Choice. This combined with my mention last week of not being done with New Moon quite yet really puts me in the mood to share with you an experience I had a week or so ago:

Mr. Choice said to me, on a Sunday afternoon, “I’d like to watch New Moon with you.” After I looked around for the “Pun’k” cameras and checked to feel if I still had a pulse, I asked him what I had to do in return. Apparently nothing (Well, there was a 30 second conversation about me needing to be in the “buff” in order for him to watch it, but I promised to make him popcorn instead. After 4 years of marriage I’ve learned what compromise means. And that sometimes food wins over sex) Watching New Moon with Mr. Choice was interesting. And embarrassing. And really kind of fun!

Here are his thoughts:

He did not know who the old woman was in the first scene despite Bella calling her “Gram” a few times

Have you seen my werthers? I seem to have misplaced them...

When Edward appeared in the field- he gasped. And Laughed. Then asked if I had a lady boner (I did)

Your werthers are in my pants...

Mr. Choice is a musician- a very talented one- and dreams of one day writing the score for a Twilight film. Before last night he had never heard the score to New Moon. Every night as I’m falling asleep I hear this song coming from his studio- it sounds JUST like the main theme from New Moon. I told him I thought that awhile back and he said he wrote the song in high school. Tonight, he said, “Desplat stole this shit from me. I have the original score in a box at my parents house.” He was pretty pissed the rest of the film…..Someone owes the Choice family a bunch of money…

When Jacob first appears outside of the school, he stops it and rewinds yelling IS THAT A MULLET!? Then we had to watch it in slow mo while I took this screen shot:

After Alice gives Bella her bday present and Jasper wishes her a happy birthday (well, he starts to wish her a happy birthday and then says “Nevermind…”) we had this conversation:

Mr. Choice: Why is he mean?
UC: He just controlled her mind right there. And then afterwards he noticed/felt how mad she was. So he decided not to follow through with his birthday wish. Plus he has a really bad wig. So he doesn’t know how else to act

During the famous line “You’re my only reason to stay alive (awkward pause) if that’s what I am (awkward Pause),” Mr. Choice yelled, “HE IS NOT GOOD!”

When the blood fell to the floor I heard the biggest, fakest GASP of his life. And then utter laughter when Edward goes after Jasper & pushes Bella out of the way. And then lastly, there was some true concern for the piano.

During the birthday kiss by the truck- the one we’ve talked about many times (aka the one I heard in the theater when the screen went black)

Mr. Choice yells, “DID HE JUST ROCK IT!?” I laughed and said, “I told you about how it sounds like they’re having sex when you close your eyes.” And he said- “NO. LOOK.” Then rewound it (it took us like 5 hours to watch the movie with all the rewinding), and put it on slow mo. He’s right. Something happened. Maybe the gaffer took the mic from below and gave Rob the ultimate tickle or something, but he definitely, using Mr. Choice’s choice of words, “ROCKED IT”

Oh yeah Gaffer.... right there.... right there...

Tragedy occurs, Mr. Choice adds lines & we find out how to make an Edward fort after the jump!

And then TRAGEDY struck because Mr. Choice did NOT laugh at the “Famous Ladies Man” line. I rewound it, asked why he didn’t laugh and he said, “That’s not funny.”

But he did laugh at Edward’s apparitions. All of them. Every time. Multiple times.

And he laughed when Jake took off his shirt. After which he announced, “I think Jacob is  a better actor than Paddleston”

Mr. Choice: “Who is that new Indian? The one from Dances with Wolves?”
UC: No. That’s Harry of “Harry’s Fish Fry” (Clearly I crack myself up)

Mr. Choice (During the scene in the rain) “Oh look! Jacob got a hair cut… That’s where he’s been for the past 2 weeks”

Then halfway through the movie he asks, after finally hearing it enough to realize it’s important,

Mr. Choice: Who the hell is Alice? And why won’t she write Bella back? (I explain) “Don’t you think she’d stop writing after awhile?”

Then when Jacob jumps in window in Bella’s room with his famous line, “Hey,” Mr. Choice adds:

Mr. Choice: “Hey. Stop writing Edward’s sister. It’s creepy”

In the water, when Bella hits her head- he burst into laughter saying, “It’s hard to take some of this seriously. Some of it is SO bad” Then he proceeded to prove to me (by going slow-mo, yet again) how Edward looks like a cardboard cut out Edward while floating in the water. And said, “Hello, it’s me Edward- in cardboard form”

wanna turn me back into a box & make a fort out of me?

His additions to the dialogue were quite amusing. In fact, Mel Mel Rosenberg might want to call him up (after Summit gets Desplat to apologize for stealing his music 101 composition performance piece from 1997) and get some tips for Breaking Dawn:

When Alice first appears in Bella’s house he imagines she’s there to say, “Bitch, quite writing me!”

After the scene with Jacob in the kitchen, Mr. Choice says what we all think about movie Bella (and some think about book Bella), “What a bitch! That dude just saved your life like NINE times and you’re not even hot enough for saving once!”

Then when Jacob utters our favorite, “Quil-clout-lay” he asked, “Is that “I love you” in werewolf?”

During the DILFs infamous worst mistake known as the “Anne of Green Gables future scene,” Mr. Choice said “I like their khakis.” He has no idea that Stephenie actually wrote about khaki’s in the books.

When Emmet says “Hell yeah” to Bella’s request to become one of them, he muttered “Dushe bag” under his breath. I’m pretty sure his youth pastor wouldn’t approve of that language!

Overall Mr. Choice thought:

“It wasn’t bad. And it could have been good. I’m sorry- I know you love Chris Weitz and I know I’m not a director, but they had a lot of money for this film. The Cardboard Apparition Edward? The Wolves were good- Edward’s appearance did not need to be cheesy. He was cartoonish. He was like the Cheshire Cat appearing in Alice & Wonderland. Except he wasn’t a cat. He was a human. Or a vampire. Chris’ directing was NOT that much better than Catherine Hardwicke’s (UC: THE HORROR! BUT THERE WERE LESS ULTIMATE COUGARITAS INVOLVED!) The Khaki scene? That was unnecessary. There were many unnecessary scenes. 65% of it was good. But there was redundancy. If I had to hear Bella self-depreciate one more time or Edward tell her she’s his whole life, I was going to scream. The movie- the saga doesn’t have to be bad. It’s a good story. It shouldn’t be bad.

Mr. Choice: I’m definitely Team Jacob
UC: You wouldn’t be if you read the books. Or were a girl
Mr. Choice: But those were NOT his abs!

That’s true my love of 4 years, that is true. But THAT’S not why we love Edward. We love Edward for his skills in biting pillows & tearing headboards…. something you won’t understand…. well, not until you ask me to watch Breaking Dawn with you. And ya know what? I just may get naked for that viewing…….

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Ever need a clip from a random spot in one of the Twi films? Without fail LionandLambLove has it! Thanks guys!

Random thought for the day. You know our friend Janetrigs who we pretend to hate really, really hate? Well, she hates a lot of things- including diabetes. She and her friend are involved in a walk for an organization Kristen actually came out to support last year- JDRF. Here’s a little message from Jane Trigs:

(click to fully appreciate the brilliance of this)

Even though Moon & UC hate @janetrigs they LOVE her HATE of diabetes. Please give to Janetrigs, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation Fundraising Walk.

-Give to JDRF because you hate @janetrigs, but appreciate her HATE of Diabetes
-OR Give to JDRF because you hate @janetrigs and want @Laurastarra to raise more $$ than @janetrigs OR
-Give to JDRF because Kristen told you to
-OR Give to JDRF because Ron told you to.

The JDRF Walk is this Sunday, June 6th and after Saturday, we promise to stop hounding you to give $$ to sick kids.
Janetrigs walk Fundraising Link http://bit.ly/ai7Zso
Laurastarra walk Fundraising Link http://bit.ly/ciJVjU

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

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162 Responses

  1. This letter was so epic I can’t even put it into words! I agree somewhat with Mr. Choice about the repititions and over-abundance of tweed usage. It was still more true to the book than any book-to-movie I’ve ever seen, so I still gotta give props to the DILF.

    Favorite line of the day: “Hello, it’s me Edward- in cardboard form.” BAHAHAHA!

  2. I have to agree with Mr. Choice (and then duck when the tomatoes are thrown) – I didn’t think NM was any better than TW. In fact, I found TW to be more entertaining.

    Funny – Mr. Old actually thought the story was good, as well. Maybe we shouldn’t be embarrased to be Twilight fans.

    One last thing. I told Mr. Old up front, if he was Team Jacob, I would divorce him.

    He is Team Edward.

  3. Dear UC,

    First of all, happy anniversary! Secondly, your husband is fairly awesome. Where was HIS commentary on the DVD? So hilarious.

    Love, me.

    • great idea! UC and Moon, you all should do your own DVD commentary podcast with Mr. Choice, Font, and Yorkie.

      • Thumbs Up Lindelle!! Great Idea!

        • Edit: Great Idea Jess for a Mr. Choice DVD commentary, Great Idea Lindelle to add The Font and White Yorkie too!!

      • Yes! Love it.
        UC, Moon – make it happen!

      • I would totally buy this.

      • This would be BETTER than RiffTrax!!!!!!!

      • You should audition for the Eclipse RiffTrax!

  4. I have to say, Mr. Choice’s comments were hilarious! I HATED the writing emails to Alice bit. I mean, I know that the movie had to have some way of showing the content of Bella’s thoughts, but really? Emails to a vampire who can see your future? Really?

    Okay, I’m just going to say it – I’m not a fan of the kiss by the truck. The grunty noises are supposed to be Edward being in pain and knowing that makes it not enjoyable for me, at all. Though, I guess sometimes there’s a fine line between pain and pleasure…

    At this point, I think these movies do have to be bad, or at least a little campy. So many details from the story just lend themselves to it. And, I’m okay with that. So long as I only watch them with people like all of you, who get it.

    • *I’m not a fan of the kiss by the truck. The grunty noises are supposed to be Edward being in pain*

      Thank you! I thought I was the only one. I’m the biggest pervert ever (um, I mean…well nevermind) but that never got me all hot and bothered or sounded sex-like to me. Never sounded like anything but, “Get away or I’ll have to bite your face off, this sucks I can’t even make out with you because I’m all vampir-y,” to me, even with just the audio.

      *shrug*

    • I’m just not a big fan of the kisses between Rob & Kristen. I feel like every time they kiss, one of them has limp, fishy lips. Especially the prom scene! Rob is killing his side of the kiss and KStew looks like she can barely open her mouth. Please, girl — Kiss him like you mean it!

      • @ Aro and Cam…
        They kiss like they are holding their breaths. Maybe it’s time for a tic-tac?

      • I firmly believe Rob does all the work in those kisses. I actually find the prom kiss super *goes blank because there is no word to describe how my eyes roll to the back of my head and I feel faint when I see it*. Maybe that’s why what you point out doesn’t bother me because I’m not looking at her (I’m really talented that way, that I can just blank her out even when his lips are mashed to hers).

        Except for in maybe one still of them, the Eclipse kisses are looking weird and twisted-up and awkward as all get-out to me though. What the hell, don’t do that much in real life? *snort* (yeah yeah yeah, movie kisses are different from real ones, but leave me alone and let me stay in my denial bubble thank you very much).

        • You are right — there is NO word to describe what Rob does to me during the prom kiss. AMAZING. The suit, the hair, the kiss….the thing he does with his mouth right before he kisses her neck…..yum.

          • *shakes*

            Please stop.

      • Yes, yes and yes. To all of the above. I’m staunchly Team Edward, but I’m looking forward to seeing movie Bella and movie Jacob kiss, for confirmation of Aro’s theory here…. I don’t want to believe that Rob is a bad kisser.

      • Yes! Granted it was like 30 degrees outside in that scene, and I’ve been up to where it was shot… it’s in the mountains and windy, which makes it sort of hard to open up wide (twss), but still… you’re getting paid to make out with RPattz… let’s effort it a bit.

        To be fair, it’s better than the whole “the script says we’re supposed to kiss, but instead we’re just going to show my shoulder” kissing from NM.
        All I hope for is that stupid Jacob kiss to be really really hot. Like FF hot. j/s. It’ll make all the fade to blacks worth it. And we’ve already had a Rob nude scene in other films, so BD better pull that out. I’m fine with just the ass, whatever, no tuck though. :: shutters ::

      • I agree. In fact in one of the “extra” features in NM, when Rob and Kristen are kissing in Italy, it looks like she has her hands on his chest holding him away from her so that he can’t get too close. Has anyone else noticed that? You don’t see that in the finished scene. And I hate all that “pecking” kind of kiss. Who kisses like that in real life? I say plant it!

    • I think Mr. Choice was right on about the kiss.
      Rob rocked it!
      I have to go watch it in slow mo now.

    • Same here, truck kiss way awkward and just weird. I am a fan of the prom kiss, though. Ahhhh.

  5. Yeah, I’m agreeing with Mr Choice as well, in the 65% of NM was good.

    I think NM is decent as far as movies go, but it’s not as entertaining as Twilight. By that I mean, i’ve watched Twi countless times, but NM only about 10-ish. (I hope that doesn’t make me a bad fan!)

    Great letter!

    “When Alice first appears in Bella’s house he imagines she’s there to say, “Bitch, quit writing me!””

    Ahahaha love it!

    • Not a bad fan! When Twilight first came out, I found one of those, ahem, illegal sites (after paying to watch it in the theater, of course!) and I used to watch it over and over until it came out on video and I was able to get my own copy.

      When NM came out, I found another “site”, but I didn’t even watch it. I had no interest. The only time I watch NM now is with the Rifftrax.

  6. I love Mr. Choice. Hilarity, total hilarity. Is hilarity a word?

    My darling husband is totally Team Jacob. He always man-oogles poor Tay-Tay’s abs. I bet that poor kid feels like one of his meat patties…just a piece.

    Husband thinks Alice rocks it in hotness above all others in the movie, Edward is gay/a tool, and that Jacob should win.

    They just don’t “get” it…but I agree, it IS fun to get their take on it.

    PS – Husband NEVER laughs at the corny lines either. “ladies man” “they’re NOT bears” “quil clout lay” you get the picture.

  7. Tonight, he said, “Desplat stole this shit from me. I have the original score in a box at my parents house.”

    Poor Mr Choice!

    I have never given Mr eloise an option to be team Edward or Team Jacob. I think that he is afraid to say anything other than “Yes, you are absolutely right” when I give an opinion about the series. And in exchange I keep my mouth shut when I watch his face punch type movies.

  8. Happy Anniversary! I just had my fifth anniversary and my husband would never watch New Moon with me.

    Instead I get comments like, “Why are you watching Harry Potter with Vampires?” (He’s never seen Harry Potter) or “I don’t get why you get all swoony over that weird pale kid. I want to watch SportsCenter”

    Thanks for the great post! After baby only sleeping a whopping two hours, laughing at your husband’s observations and guzzling coffee should get me through my daughter’s music class.

    • Harry Potter with Vampires! HAHA!

      • My husband thinks if it isn’t Star Wars, then it must be Harry Potter. When I was watching Lost finale, he asked if Hurley was Harry Potter.

        He also asked why that Edward guy was on Lost and asked if he should be on True Blood. I told him that they were three different actors and he told me I was weird.

        • didn’t rob admit that he auditioned for true blood but didn’t get a part? goodness, if he were on that show, i would have died.

          • Me too! Then there would be naked Rob. I need to put that thought out of my head. I have very small children to take care of.

          • just wondering.. what character could he have auditioned for? my guess is jason..

        • Hurley = Harry Potter FTW!

          • Rob would make a great Jason. I don’t know who else he could be on the show. Not that the Jason that they chose to be on the show isn’t pretty great at the role.

            My husband calls every show that is fantasy or scifi Harry Potter. I hope he was joking about the Hurley thing. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. :0) He also calls Twilight, “The movie with all those kids.” Which makes me have to remind him that we are not that much older than alot of the cast. I married a prematurely “old” man.

        • Haha! Stacey, that is hilarious. A much needed laugh for me.

    • Holy Cow, Your my LTT doppleganger!!

      THIS: “I just had my fifth anniversary and my husband would never watch New Moon with me.”
      Same here.

      I have a young daughter who didn’t sleep well last night and my RL name is Stacey. and I look more like your avi than mine. ;)

      • Another Stacey! Yay!

        I haven’t had more than 4 hours, since my son was born in March. He hates sleep as much as my three year old does. Does your daughter have problems sleeping too?

        The good thing is that I would never have discovered Twilight, if I wasn’t up at 3 am feeding my son. The movie was on Showtime at all hours. That sparkly Rob Pattinson got me through many a late night. It take me a few readings to understand the books, due to very blurry, sleepy eyes.

        • Hey Stace,
          My daughter, also 3 (hmmm), is usually a good sleeper but last night she drank my full glass of iced tea before bed (good thing it wasn’t, ehm, “mommy’s grape juice”-although then there definitely wouldn’t have been a sleep problem).

          Ah, that sprakly 3 AM Rob gets me through my husbands snoring. )

  9. Dear UC, happy anniversary to you & Mr Choice. I’ll overlook his comment about fake abs seeing as he has declared Team Jacobness.

    I am so glad he picked up on Edward ‘rockin’ it’. When I saw it in the cinema I thought ‘PG13? How did that get through the cut’, then ‘Did he really intend to do that? Awkward’.

    Also I have a new Eclipse plan. It revolves around Mr Choice sitting at the back of the theatre with a mic giving a running commentary, it would be awesome.

  10. I’m picturing you staring at your hubs and scribbling his reactions furiously in a notebook, UC! Confession: one time I made my Twi-virgin roommate watch the movies with me, and I wrote down the funny things she said to tell the forum girls. When she asked what I was writing I told her I was doing my taxes …

  11. Reading Mr. Choice’s comments was like a deja vu for me. I recently watched NM with a guy friend (not exactly a unicorn, but I’m working on it) and his reactions were almost the same. Except for the score copyright issues. I’m so sorry, Mr. Choice.
    He had major issues with Kristen’s exaggerated breathing, mimicking it every chance he got, also decided he was Team Jacob, thought Edward had a semi-mullet and insulted his sideburns, argued that it wasn’t true that vampires couldn’t commit suicide – suggested that they try jumping in a live volcano, thought the wolves appeared weightless, commented how his 3rd birthday party was wilder than Bella’s, and finally, laughed his ass off when Edward proposed at the end. But he loved Face Punch.

    • “… try jumping in a live volcano…” Now that is funny.

  12. Happy anniversary, UC!!!

    Mr Choice volunteered to watch New Moon with you? Congratulations! My SO sneakily fast-forwarded it on an intercontinental flight without telling me, and when i finally got my hands on a DVD he just said that he’d seen it already. Boo.

    Great breaking down of the experience btw :)

    • That is pretty sneaky. And cheating I think. Fast forward isn’t really watching!

  13. You need to have Mr. Choice watch New Moon but with the Chris Weitz commentary. I think he would like it more.

    • Love the DILF commentary – ‘Here comes dreamboat’.

      • I loved how he was saying “Let’s count the number of times Jacob misses his chance to kiss Bella.”

    • Even better: Mr. Choice should make a commentary.

    • Speaking of the New Moon commentary – well behind the scenes, shot of Taylor watching filming of kiss by truck with a ‘awkward, whatever’ expression. Ooooh.

      You think he would have warned Rob about the lurking gaffer.

    • hahaha! perfect “The only thing we do kill… Rastafarians!”

  14. Good call on the faux mullet. Everytime I see that scene I immediately think Wayne’s World (which makes me go ‘bleurgh’) then I picture them doing Foxy Lady fox ears and have to giggle.

    And is it weird that in all the shots of students at Forks high I have not spotted a goth girl/boy. Every school, no matter how small has at least one and they would have been all over the vamps way before Bella. Is this a Stephanie fail or director fail? Or have I not looked hard enough?

    We have vamps, werewolves, gayasianeric, faux mullet metal-head but no goths! They deserve representation as an integral part of high school society.

    • Another thing about the student population:
      I thought that Mike Newton was supposed to be the boy most girls Bella’s age were after in the books. No offense to Michael Welch, but he is not exactly a hottie. Every school has at least one hotter guy in every grade. They could have used a semi-hot actor.

  15. When I was at the theater, and the water scene came on, I couldn’t stop laughing because I thought it looked like a cardboard cut out too. I was getting dirty looks, so I knew they were MY Twi peeps.

    I feel like I need to watch this movie with someone who doesn’t know anything about it now.

  16. Aww, happy anniversary!!!

    And that was hilarious. Thanks for the giggles, Mr. Choice (and Mrs. Choice). ;)

    Has anyone watched Rifftrax do New Moon? Maybe Mr. Choice would appreciate it. I, myself, laughed till I peed.

    • Love Rifftrax. It wasn’t as good as the Twilight one (to me), but still I can hear some of their commentary when I watch it without.

  17. Happy Anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Choice!

    Goooooo Janet! Can’t wait to see if you reach your goal! I HATE Diabetes!

  18. Happy Anniversary!!!

    I’m so jealous of Mr. Choice watching NM, no, “requesting” to watch NM with you!!!! My husband runs from me when I suggest we watch it! My son, who is 13, watched it with my daughter and I and told me many, many times throughout the movie that it was boring! He thought the werewolves were “beast!” (that’s his new word for “cool” – whatever!) and he thinks Edward looks cross-eyed (he told me that when we watched Twilight together – I almost grounded him to his room for the night! HA!) throughout the entire movie! I think that guys pick up on the visual stuff whereas women pick up on the emotional side of things. We see the love and they see Edward “rockin it!” Loved that by the way!!!

  19. “Is that “I love you” in werewolf?” <–has just made my day. Happy Anniversary to the Choices! :)

    • I think you avi might be my avi’s cousin. I was reading the comments and had to look twice at yours because I was like, “wait I haven’t commented today yet.”

      And its it just me or does my avi look more like a rat than a bug?

      Sorry for the random-ness. :)

      • Your avi is my avi’s in-bred cousin. Hence the rat appearance. Haha! :)

  20. Happy anniversary UC and Mr. Choice!

    Awesome commentary! I made hubs go watch NM in the theater with me, so I was so busy watching it I didn’t even pick up on what he thought of it, but I’m sure it was interesting. I do remember him feeling bad for the poor boat Jake and Paul destroyed.

    • *I do remember him feeling bad for the poor boat Jake and Paul destroyed*

      Lol! Random (men).

      • Oh no, was that Billy’s and Charlie’s fishing boat?

        • I hope not! I think theirs is at Charlie’s place though (as seen whenever they drive up to the house and is in Twi too…along with the ‘oops’ pick-up truck they forgot to move out of the shot heh) and is more of a fiberglass material that’s made for shallow water fishing like Waylon’s boat (which is not really practical because in the river they’d be fly fishing, which you don’t do in a boat and there’s too many rocks/rapids for a boat anyway. On second thought, there are a lot of flood plains near Forks in RL, so perhaps that’s where they go, but those dry out and you’d get stuck. Frankly this just doesn’t make any sense. Where do they go fishing?! I mean there’s lakes around there. That must be it. But then what on earth body of water is the Buttcrack Santa dock on? And for that matter, why wouldn’t charlie keep his boat at the docks? He’s the chief of police after all, you’d think that’d win you some privileges!)

          (and that I think about these things is normal.)

          • Srsly- they’d totally be flying fishing. Now I am going to look for waders hanging up somewhere in the Swan home. I bet along with making dreamcatchers, Jacob can tie a mean fly.

          • Ugh, I’m glad we don’t get points off for not proofreading before we comment.
            @Flying Fishing

            Really, English is my first language. Geesh
            Anywho.
            RIP little boat, RIP

          • hehe. I read it as “fly fishing” and no one comes on this late anyway, no worries. ;)

            However, they do sort of fly when they fursplode… so… and you’re so right about Jacob tying a mean fly. Which makes me wonder what else he can do really well with his fingers…

          • I assumed they went ocean fishing.

    • I felt bad about that boat too. Esp. after going to the rez itself and seeing boats like it and knowing someone put effort into building it. :'(

  21. Happy 4yrs!
    Ill get there some day… need to get married first tho…
    Mr.Kiss saw NM w/us @ the midnight show…
    He wasn’t to thrilled he was like 1 of 5 guys there…
    But he didn’t let me watch in peace,
    I had to keep hushin him or told him to wait etc…
    But on our way home it was question after question…
    He seemed interested for awhile…

    That was until I brought up watchin the midnight showing of Eclipse w/me

    He hasn’t talked about it since,
    Other than its gay . . .

  22. I’m gonna have to agree with Mr Choice on the dilf’s directing of NM, as much as I love the dilf he did make some…questionable choices regarding some scenes.
    It was waaay to faithful to the book which IMO was to its detriment. You have to make some adjustments to appeal to different mediums of narrative and that means sacrificing some things or changing things so that its understood better in a cinematic format.

    Like the kiss at the truck, if I had not read the book I would have never thought that Edward was in pain but ‘Rockin it’ for the sake of it. And Jasper’s power??? Urgh… I’ve spoken about my issues with NM til I was blue in the face but if I had to choose Cougar>Dilf and Twilight>New Moon.

    I think you guys should check out the Rifftrax commentary, it is hilarious!

    Happy anniversary! <3

  23. I’ve been rewatching Buffy on Netfix recently and they make fun of Giles for all of his serious tweed. We are not alone in our thinking (and this was 1997!)

    • I miss that show. :0( I even miss the tweed.

      • Oh those old days. LOL. Makes me feel so old…

  24. As much as I am afraid of watching NM with Mr LPB, I do realize the potential for the hilarity. He liked Twilight, though he had a million questions about the backstory.

    I have a hard time comparing the two movies. I like them both for what they are, but enjoy them and are entertained by them for entirely different reasons. Cafeteria Edward vs. Tweed Edward are entertaining in completely opposite ways, ifyouknowwhatimsayin…

    • Cafeteria Edward is perfection….the bouffant, the smirk, the lipstick. Heaven.

      • The smirk, oh dear god, the SMIRK!

        You get me.
        ;-)

      • I think cafeteria Edward and biology class Edward are my favorites so far. He looks kind of weird to me, in the Eclipse trailers. Can’t pinpoint what it is though.

  25. Happy anniversary! I could be very annoying and say that you must enjoy it because it may be the last time you will be celebrating it with just the two of you. But I will not do that.

    2 things:

    1. Mr. Choice sounds awesome.
    2. I can’t remember anyone talking about Bella’s grandma before. I mean, the actress must have a name, has SHE already signed her Breaking Dawn contract to attend the wedding? A big fat FAIL for all those boring blogs discussing every little detail of everything.

    • Twinerd Fun Fact: Gran has passed away. Hence the dream. She won’t be at the wedding.

      • Which parent was she the mom of? Do they say?

        • and by “they” I mean stephenie meyer and all of her personalities… ::blushes::

        • Yes! This is important information. I’m hoping this will somehow be “revealed” in Bree Tanner’s book.

          Will there soon be spoiler alerts for comments related to that book btw? *chuckles*

          • teehee. I hope there’s spoiler alerts, so just like the SATC2 movie, I won’t have to read/see it.

        • Pretty sure she’s the maternal grandmother – so, Renee’s mom.

      • Twinerd of the day award!

  26. Congrats on your anniversary and please, please get nekkid for Mr. Choice b/c that was freakin’ hilarious. I MUST remember to go to the bathroom before I read these posts b/c I almost peed in my pants! Love, love, love the kissing scene sound — it sounds like they are getting their freak on. And yes — please stop writing Alice! I thought it was just me.

    Props to Mr. Choice. I just semi-bitched my husband out last night for making fun of my Twilight obsession… I can’t tell you how stupid I sounded defending Twilight. I actually used the word “Twi-hard” in a sentence — out loud. (Say it. Out loud. Say it.)

  27. Happy anniversary! Mr Choice sounds like a peach. And his questions were surprisingly close to Ryan’s when he watched it for the first time. But Ryan spent more time talking about how gay Jacob is (yes, no Edward – Jacob. I don’t know why).

    Anybody who objectively watches New Moon comes away with a 65% good rating. That’s just science.

    • I’m glad someone else’s husband wasn’t “Team Jacob”. I was beginning to think Mr. Old was the only one!

      My husband didn’t think Jacob was gay, he just thought he was clueless. He was so frustrated with him because he couldn’t see that Bella was just using him and would never love him as much as Edward.

      He’s not really “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob” he was more “Team Alice” or “Team Jessica”.

      • Mr. Fury is currently sporting the “Team Bella’s Truck” flag. He says that’s the best part of any of the movies. I had to crush his poor little hopes and dreams when I told him the truck isn’t in Breaking Dawn…

        Happy Anniversary! I’m starting to feel old… My 11th anniversary is next month.

    • you mean Gaycob?

      • *GASP* Them’s fightin’ words! Bring it Jenn…

        • @EMJ Got your back.

  28. HI EVERYONE :)

    • Hi Cyn! How ya doin’ today??
      xo obava

  29. Love this. Happily, my husband has seen both movies with me, and even read the books and enjoyed them. I love the cardboard Edward comment, and I know that scene is cheese-ball heaven, but I do love the Grizzly Bear song that plays. So I can’t help myself.

    • I love it too. Everyone thought it looked strange or Bella like a dead fish. Um, isn’t that the point, since she’s about to drown and all? And I’m addicted to that Grizzly Bear song!

      • I love that song too.

  30. Also, happy anniversary!

  31. Happy Anniversary Choices and wishing you many more!

    Mr. Choice, I’m in the music biz, holla at me; we’ll get you your back-royalties cause that shit ain’t right.

    I guess I admire a husband/couple who can do Twilight/NM together. For me, it would be like showing the spouse your porn stash or Rob picture folder I mean folder marked “Random”; awkward! (heh, is that another kind of Edward?). My 11 year-old son and I watched New Moon and have a date for Eclipse because we both think the werewolf action is, in his words, “epic”. Plus he can’t yet distinguish those funny faces mommy makes when that vampire man is on the screen, like daddy no doubt could :-/.

  32. Loved this letter! I mostly agree with Mr. Choice. I still prefer Twilight. I wathced twilight a lot of times, and I don’t even have a number, that’s how many… New Moon just don’t do it for me… It is contrieved and I don’t know…

    About Rob acting – Well, I admit that this is not Rob finest moments, but I think he can act, when the material and the direction is good, wich means that he still has a lot to learn but has a great potential IMHO Remember Me is just the tip of the iceberg, Little aches was uneven but had some great moments, moments that sold me on his acting chops.

    But I agree… the scene with the akward pauses is bad. If I was the director I would NOT let that happen, more takes please.

  33. Happy Anniversary! May there be many more!

    Really enjoyed this post! Its actually nice to get a mans perspective on the movies. By this I mean a man that actually took the time to watch it and not decide beforehand that he will not like it no matter what. I hate that. Guys love trashing the movies even if they havent seen it.

    Great post :)

  34. Omg. Everybody right-click save the Edward coat picture and check out what’s it’s titled.

    Excellent ha ha ha!

    (not that I don’t already have that picture 45097372632708 times already. It’s an obsession of sorts).

    • I saw that too!!! Haha ha. And the caption is WIN

    • Bahahaha!

      That was great! :D

  35. Happy Anniversary!

    I love that your hubs chooses popcorn over you being naked for viewing NM! Sadly, I think my hubs would choose the same! I do have 4 kids running around, so popcorn would probably be the right choice for us too!

    Enjoy your anniversary and enjoy each other!

  36. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, LetterstoTwilight. LetterstoTwilight said: Mr. Choice watches New Moon (oh yes… willingly too) http://ow.ly/1SPRm [...]

  37. I may be Team Mr. Choice now!

    When I forced my sister to watch the New Moon dvd with me, she kept asking why in the first scene they got such “an old body double for Bella. I mean, who is that old lady? Everyone can tell she is an old lady and not Bella.” And I was like, “That’s Gran. Duh.”

    And also, I would like to state for the record that I firmly believe those are real abs, underage though they were at the times, REAL abs! To quite a certain SNL sketch, “If those abs are real, then the guy playing Jacob deserves an Oscar!”

    I volunteer to devote as much time as possible to research and prove this.

    • I think the “not real” abs being referred to are Robward’s (clock tower/shirt-removal scene). ‘Cept we don’t care about that cause whatever.

      • Oh! Haha I’m an idiot. Or maybe I just see the word ABS and automatically thoughts of shirtless Jacob run through my mind…I wish shirtless Jacob was running though pretty much anything…preferably the hallway to my bedroom…

        • DJT&TFH- I thought they were talking about Jacob’s abs, too. So you are not an idiot, because than I would be an idiot too :)

      • The “V” is real. That’s the important part. Or hell, if it isn’t real, what a great workday for the make-up gal!

        • Can you IMAGINE?!

          Was she grinning like a fool the whole time and working v – e – r – y s – l – o – w – l – y?

          I would have convinced him I had to use a finger-painting technique ;-).

  38. Happy Anniversary Choices!

    I was shaking with laughter as I read “Is that I love you in werewolf” and the “Stop writing Edward’s sister, it’s creepy” lines.

    I think it might have been fun to watch the movie naked…and I agree you may have to for BD.

    Mr. CJ came to theater to see both TW and NM…and has read the first 3 books and keeps saying he has to read BD one of these days.

    At NM in the theater, when Jacob took off his shirt and the tween girls all started shrieking, he leaned over and said “I feel like I’m in a strip club.”

    • Haha…strip club. When we get to that scene, hubby always looks at me as I can’t help but grin. He likes to remind me that I’m grinning at a kid and that I’m an old lady. When did 30 become old? And didn’t Jacob, I mean, Taylor, just turn 18 or something?

  39. “Is that ‘I love you’ in werewolf?” LMAO – Mr. Choice is awesome!

  40. “What a bitch! That dude just saved your life like NINE times and you’re not even hot enough for saving once!”

    Amen.

  41. My husband dislikes all things Twilight, including New Moon. He is a firm believer that vampires should not go out in the sunlight, cannot go in your house uninvited and do not sparkle. He really hates the sparkle. Maybe he is jelous.

    • Well, really only a chick would make a vampire sparkle. Insert bedazzler joke here…hehehe I said insert…Geez, must go away and discipline inner 12 yr old.
      I saw NM in a dollar theater with a couple of guys, and I have to say, Mr. Choice was pretty kind. Much funnier, but kind. Defs post a Mr. C. commentary.

    • I’m a firm believer that jealousy is the reason my husband hates all things twi. He knows not the depth of my twi love/obsession through his own doing refusing to have anything to do with any of it. Outside of twi we share like everything with each other.

      We can’t help it that sexy, brooding, sparkling vampire hotness makes us aching to jump an undead guy’s bones. That’s Normal!

      Hey I’d probably be a little jealous too if the situation was reversed and my husband was secretly hoping that some sexy-hot undead chick would kill him so he could leave me with the kids while he spent eternity with Ms Sparkly-hotness busting houses and thinning up forests.

    • I’m sorry, sis. But at least he’s nicer about HP. Mr. Seth likes Twi movies, but not a ton. And he never wants to talk about it… and gets annoyed if I try to have twilosophy with him. Which is fair I guess… oh well.

  42. A word about Janetrigs and JDRF: When she started fundraising (months ago), J to the Rigs had a very modest monetary goal–I don’t even remember what it was–$250? –something like that. The minute she achieved that, she decided to go bigger and set a $1000 goal. She’s now achieved that and is pushing for $1500. It’s so awesome to see her getting donations and working so hard for JDRF. She even managed to get some TMZ staffers to donate. She’s persistent! So help her make her goal for JDRF!

    No, this comment wasn’t funny. I’m just so proud of my friend I had to say something. *hugs* to all commenters. *Special hugs* to all who donate. ;)

    • Yes – let’s all donate! If everyone on here gave even $5 that would be a ton of money!

    • YEEEAHHHHH I love you! Thank you!

      Special Hugs from Sydney and I for donating….PS Sydney is my puppy dog that is a German Sheperd. I assure you, she HATES Diabetes TOO!

      • I left you a special note…obviously it is in secret Twilight-code so you will know it’s me…

        • THANK YOU! You’re the one. I appreciate it so much. So does little Jonah and his family.

          • Totally – I think if you keep mentioning it on here you are WAY going to exceed your goal!

  43. what did mr choice say when bella runs in and says:

    they’re NOT bears
    ;)

  44. Pineapple smoothie just came out my nose at “Is that “I love you” in werewolf?”
    I think the pain was worth the laughter….

    • And BONUS, now you get to smell pineapple all day!

  45. Also I just spent $73 at the LTT/LTR store…and I didn’t even get all the stuff I wanted! Must pace myself………..

    I really hope sporting all this new merchandise helps out us to each other and we make new unlikely friends who are also “in the know”…..

  46. Congrats on Mr. Choice’s viewing. and Happy Anniversary!

    Mr. Choice and the soon-to-be-Mr. Opera seem to have quite a bit in common. Both are willing to watch New Moon, but only with popcorn or nudity (mine chose popcorn, too). Both like Jacob. And both have many of the same thoughts about the characters and series.

    Mr. Opera has actually seen New Moon twice, both on his own accord (I know! *thud*) The only comments of his I really remember were that Jessica was always showing off her rack (who knew? I hadn’t noticed) and Rosalie is “the Bitch Vampire with PMS”. Oh, he also made several obscene comments about Edward that unfortunately I remember all too well but aren’t exactly appropriate to repeat on here.

    Finally congrats to Janetrigs for her fundraising efforts! <3s to you for your hard work!

    • Thanks! Hating Diabetes is hard work.

  47. Wow, UC isn’t the only funny one in the Choice household!
    These comments were great and so very “guy”. Rocked it. *snicker*

    How cute that the musician was concerned for the Cullen’s piano. (And about the piano, there’s the upright in the paper cut room, but there’s a grand in a massive hallway in Twilight. Greedy with the pianos, aren’t we Cullens?

    …and Damn, he liked the khakis? Mr. Choice and Mr. Snow need to go to L.L.Bean together.

    “Quil-clout-lay” he asked, “Is that “I love you” in werewolf?”
    -hey I think we have a tagline for the shirt!!

  48. HAPPY MOTHER FLIPPING EFFING SHUT THE DOOR ANNIVERSARY TO Mr. & Mrs. Choice!

    Love you guys.

    • I donated to “See Jane Run”. ;)
      Great cause. Anything for kiddos (and/or dogs) will get me everytime.

  49. Ok, music lovers, this is kind of OT, but “they” (whoever they are) have the entire Eclipse soundtrack up to listen to for today only.

    http://www.eclipsesoundtrack.com/preorder

    I dig it so far!

  50. This was all kinds of greatness. Mr Choice is hilarious.

    Happy anniversary! Mine was yesterday (6 years). :]

    M

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