Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Prom Edward

Honey, tilt your date a little, he's glaring in the flash!

Dear Girl going to prom with a cut out Edward,

I’m sure the reason you’re going to prom with a cardboard cutout stems from some really awful “Mean Girls” type story where your best friend stole your prom date / best friend / wanna be boyfriend (a la ME) in High School and you were forced to improvise and this is what you came up with, but I gotta just say it, if you’re gonna do this you gotta go hard or go home.

Why doesn’t the cardboard Edward have a tweed jacket on, or better yet why didn’t you take the cardboard New Moon Edward in his tweed suit with you instead of Twilight Edward in his shirtsleeves? And how are you going to pin a boutonniere on him? You’re just going to spend all night re-duct taping it to his flat chest. And what about when you two are grinding on the dance floor to “Bedrock?” That flower is just gonna keep falling off.  I mean how is this even plausible? And your dress, that’s not a combination of black, white or red OR an exact replica of movie Bella’s prom get up. And I see NO ribbon ties on your shoes. I mean, do you even know anyone named Alice!?

If you were serious you would have hired the real Edward to escort you in a tux and give you his mothers old corsage (dried flowers are in) and if you really wanted to make the girls and boys jealous you’d bring along Jacob too! The ultimate love triangle at the Prom in Anytown, USA, like this girl…

Take it from the master honey, follow her example and you’ll be all set for Homecoming next year!

A Night To Remember!
Themoonisdown

HAPPY WEEKEND! Did you go to Prom? If not, do you regret it (I don’t!) What was the theme? What would a Twilight themed Prom entail besides total and utter lunacy and embarrassment?

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81 Responses

  1. Oh dear God…
    That poor girl’s friends and family.
    One the note of Prom Edward, I literally just finished watching Twilight for the first time in months and was still blown away by how f*cking gorgeous Promward is. He is only THE hottest Edward. Raybanward comes a close second.

    P.S. Please love that my iPhone recognises ‘Raybanward’ as a legit word.

    Happy Weekend, lovelies!

    • I <3 PromEdward too. Like…whoa.

      Raybanward is now officially in my vocabulary.

    • Promward is def gorgeous!
      Esp w/ his “crooked smile” half smirk thing he does :)

      • When he says, “Oh, why not” when Bella’s nervous about dancing and then he turns and we see the way his neck looks, oh it slays me.

        • Slays me too.

  2. The really sad thing is that I’d have a better time with Cardboardward than some of the actual dates I’ve had.

    • Aye. me too.

  3. Since I’ve cleared out yesterday the fact that I don’t live among civilization, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to any of you that we don’t have proms here. The closest party we get is a graduation party at the end of 10th grade and another one after we finish 12th grade. But there’s no dancing there. All we get is a fancy dinner, a certificate and a copper coloured silk Beauty pageant like sash. There’s no dancing either. So yeah, the most prom experience I’ve had is from watching lameass chick flicks. (Never Been Kissed, A Cinderella Story FTW!)

    Uggh that ‘Edward’ from Stephenie’s so-called prom is….*ahem* special. Check out his floppy bronze hair. Dreamy….NOT!

    And is it just me or does the Jacob dude has a totally gay pose of standing?

    Thank God for the existence of Robert Pattinson and (never thought I’d say this) Taylor Lautner.

    • The “Jacob” with Steph – not just you. You plucked the words right out of my head.

    • HAHA! He SO has the gay pose going on!

    • And he’s not even wearing JORTS.

      Hmph.

      • He isn’t a legit Jacob w/out JORTS!

        Smh

      • Yeah but he’s wearing Korts, Eclipse style. Except that he can’t rock them like Tay-tay can.

        Shit did I just say tay-tay out loud?

        • But is he free-balling for authenticity?

        • He’s totally wearing Korts… and I’ll take him, kthankxbye.

    • I think that in that Steph Prom Edward and Jacob are actually a couple. Steph is just their fairy Twilight godmother. This slash prom, btw, is a dream come true for @StotheP and @Tuesdaymidnight. Steph makes all the dreams come true. :)

  4. Just have to say: this is the perfect post for today. I’m going with my friend to her prom tonight and seriously thought about getting New Moon Edward to bring with us. (not really)

  5. I loved my prom, I had so much fun. Don’t remember the theme though. I’m on my phone (which is dangerously close to being thrown under a moving train) so I can’t see the pics, but I’ll try and coax my computer into working later, I’m sure they’ll provide me with some entertainment for the day!

  6. My school didn’t have proms…we had “banquets.” Pretty lame. I don’t really remember anything about them anymore except my dress and date (and that’s only cuz there were pictures). But I assure you my date didn’t glare in the flash and he could stand up alone.

    • YES!!! We had a Jr/Sr Banquet. Dinner at a fancypants hotel and the middle school computer/music teacher tickling the plastics for our entertainment (ie playing the keyboard). We did have a dance afterward, but it had to be widely known that it was “non-school sponsored”.

      • Er, wait. Did we go to the same school? Srsly, you’re in Tennessee, right?

      • ummmm i’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you went to a private christian school? cause that sounds exactly like my private school’s proms…fortunately i went to public school the last year and a half of high school and had actual proms with all that naughty dancing (it’s of the devil dontcha know?)

        We have a private baptist school here that does the non school sponsored thing…the parents help organize it. I wish my private school had done that. Our homecomings etc were soooo lame .

        • Ding ding ding…we have a winner! My school was a private, christian school. It had at one time been affiliated with a Baptist church when it opened, but not when I went there. But we still had to suffer for their traditions. We had parent sponsored events, but it’s not the same.

    • Me too. Although, the last banquet I went to was in 10th grade….I think. I don’t even remember now. I think they just sort of stopped after that.

      But I have to say that I would not have gone to prom, had I been attending a public high school. Just not interested. And I don’t dance.

  7. Small town Aust. = Debutant Ball ie formal dancing & white meringue wedding type dresses. EVERYBODY did it. Except me. But I did go as a guest & wore a hot short dress.

    Unfortunately there were no buckets of pig blood dropped on anyone.

    • Deb balls are so funny. I’ve only been as a guest too, wearing a really loud fake fur jacket because I could. Did they do the Pride of Erin?

      • Of Course, standards please.

  8. I’ve decided to be fangirl lame and go to a cinema to watch K & Tay Q&A on Monday. I’ve convinced myself this is a normal thing to do.

    Although possibly not as normal as faking illness to get off work and jumping on a plane to Sydney for an hour event to see an 18 yo in the flesh (twss). In fact not only is it normal it is also completely not creepy.

    Now, I have to go and figure out my question to submit. I’m guessing they will not accept any requests for nakedness, partial or otherwise.

    • Not lame, SJ. That is totally cool. Hope you have fun! :)

    • I am so jealous!

    • I am secretly hoping to 1st hand embarrass myself.

    • Have fun!! Maybe you could provide the nakedness, partial or otherwise.

      • OMG. I love it.

  9. My favorite Forks Y’all people did a post on this girl too. They decided that she is awesome and has major balls. I feel the same way.

    Prom is about having fun! Fuck anyone who says otherwise.

    Yes, I went to prom three times. All three times with my love that I still have. High school sweethearts CAN become happily ever after. Even if the fiercely independent girl doesn’t want to get married and prefers to live in sin. ; )

    Anyway, a Twilight themed prom would be totally cool, except I’d be depressed that Mr. Pattinsex wasn’t taking me, and I don’t have the patience to drag around a cardboard cutout that doesn’t open doors for me or fetch me drinks. Ugh.

    • You & Mr Fang are just like Edward & Bella!

      • Except Mr. Fang doesn’t have awesome sex hair…

        *le sigh*

    • Your and Mr.Fang’s love gives me hope *sigh*

    • My husband and I were high school sweethearts too! And of course both proms we went together.

      • Same here! I only ever went to prom with my now husband.

        • I love it! Maybe high school sweethearts resulting in happily ever after isn’t quite the anomaly after all. Or maybe we are drawn to Twi because we know it is actually possible for HS relationships to actually work out…?

          That makes 3… Wonder if there are any others ’round here?

          • Me and my hubby have been together since we were 17, he was my prom date. So there’s 4 now.

          • Make that 5. And we lost our virginity to each other that night too. The prom theme was “A Night to Remember” as if the rest of my comment wasn’t already wayyyy too cliche! =)

    • Fangbanger, are you antisocialangel on twitter? I’m asking this because someone named Fangrella just followed me, so I thought it might be you :)

      • Yes, I am the amazing (or not) antisocialangel.

        I saw your twitter link in your name. I’m an excellent stalker. ;)

  10. I went to the prom with my closeted gay best friend. Yup. I was that girl. I even wore a dress my mom made where she incorporated all the elements of these other dresses we saw in the stores until it was this crazy frankentstein dress. She did a fantastic job, but looking back, there was a reason that dress hadn’t been made to begin with. But I did all the beading myself!

    Oh. And I had a spiral perm. Yeah.

    • Spiral perm – win.

    • Spiral perms rocked.

    • Life isn’t complete without a closeted bff at some point in your youth. And a spiral perm. (I can relate on both counts). Bonus points that you had them at the same time!

    • For some reason *coughgfanficcough* I mis-read ‘spiral perm’ as sperm. #mindinthegutter

  11. She’s so not hardcore….she should be wearing a leg cast. Harumph.

    But seriously…..How is he gonna sit in the limo? And who will be paying for her meal…..that’s the real point of a prom date, free food.

    • Amen.

  12. My prom’s theme was MY FIRST NIGHT. It was supposedly named after a song. But seriously, like prom doesn’t have enough connotations of losing one’s virginity, they just decided to make it super obvious?

    That girl makes me a little sad. Is she going to take cardboard Edward to college and sleep with him in her dorm bed?

    • OMG amazing prom theme and amazing user name!!!

      they might as well have called it my first time…

  13. If the Twi-characters had been at my prom, Jasper would’ve really struggled with the aftermath of so many hymens breaking. It was basically a prelude to SEX. Oh, the memories.

  14. I totally agree, that girl should have gone all out if she was going to bring Eddie as a date. But maybe her excuse was that Cardboardward didn’t really want her to “come” with him and thus it was a struggle to even get him there. Also I don’t see him sparkling in the light of the flash, major fail there. I hope she at least had some freesia and lavender perfume on.

    I went to my senior prom and had a great time. I had a pretty hot date if I do say so myself… the first and only time in my life a roomful of girls were totally jealous, don’t you love that feeling :) Unfortunately he was the “fes” and moved back to Russia the following month. And we lived happily ever after… as Facebook friends. (Hint to all girls who may be reading this: don’t fall in love with a foreign guy…trust…it makes falling in love with vampires seem simple.)

    The thing is I did wear a long burgundy dress to my prom…it so could have fit in with a Twilight theme. I was ahead of my time!

    • Hopefully she thought to remember the glitter too

  15. I seriously thought the title said “Hosted by Brb

  16. Phone fail! Ignore previous. Stupid phone

    I thought the post said “hosted by PORN Edward”

    I was so excited that I was going get Edward porn today. You know like Rob porn…

    The disappointment was consuming when I realized it said prom. Until I saw the pic and giggled.

    • I totally understand! Was on my MSN homepage today and there was a picture of Warren Buffet with the caption “Celebrity Tightwads” — I thought it said “Celebrity Twihards.” Although I’d totally take a naked Edward over WB.

      • That down thumb was me. My phone is all sorts of fail today. It won’t let my up thumb now to make up for it.
        :( sorry I was trying to up thumb!

        And I unequivocally agree. Naked Edward over WB. Not even a question

      • hhahaha warren buffet as a twihard. thats amazing. he buys all his twi gear on deep discount at hot topic sales.

  17. I went to 3 proms during high school and they were fun…all except for ONE which was TITANIC-THEMED. It was horrible. The picture had a life preserver thing in the background and the big thing they advertised for it was a dolphin ice sculpture. It was embarassing.

    • I hope someone had a Leo cardboard standup for that prom!

      • I was just wondering, Did whoever plan this actually see that movie? Because, mostly everyone died… I think the theme was called “A Night to Remember”. How lame.

        • “A Night to Remember” = thousands of people died an icy, cold death in the Atlantic..? well, that IS memorable. However not necessarily in a festive way.
          and I suppose, in a pinch, it’s a really bad metaphor for high school?

  18. Lame to the fullest!
    Was she tryin to be funny??
    Prolly the people she went with were totes embarassed!

    I didn’t go to my jr or sr prom…
    I blame my ex…
    Horrible stories & I regret not going…
    o well… ill live

  19. I did go to prom and our group had a friend sans date. Did she bring a cardboard cut out of Josh hartnett circa 2001? No, she did not and we all had fun anyway.

    I really hope I never have to attend any twilight themed prom… I would really feel old and freaky

    • *does mike newton impression*
      You’re alive!

      Haven’t seen you comment in awhile.

      That would have berm hilariously awesome if some chick really brought a fake Josh. Love Josh Hartnet (esp like 10 years ago). I would have thought I would’ve ran into him by now since I live in the state he’s from, but no. :)

      • I know, my work got out for summer so I kinda took a computer break-in but I’m back!
        Thanks so much for noticing!

  20. That is totally pathetic. It is incredibly embracing even to see some girl with a cut out Edward. It is OCD. I like Twilight (the books) but I am not obsessed with it. First of all the movies suck, the acting is horrid and they picked an ugly guy to play Edward. The fact that some girls bring cut out Edwards to prom is sickening and completely OCD. I hate when people my age (17) act obsessed, immature, and crazy. Some students at my school (girls and boys) even get so obsessed that they believe that they are vampires or werewolves. People need to stop obsessing over stuff like this, and put their heads back into the real world.

  21. OPEN POST HOSTED BY PROM EDWARD?? OK SOMEONE FILL ME IN PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEE!!! PROM EDWARD..LE SIGH….I NEVER GOT TO GO TO MY PROM IS EWARD VOLUNTEERING??? THUD….

  22. ONE CRAZY NORMAL GIRL HAS FOUND ULTIMATE PROM DATE, CUT-OUT CARDBOARD EDWARD.

    THERE IS SOME DEBATE HOWEVER OVER HER CHOICE OF TWILIGHT CARDBOARDWARD OVER NEW MOON CARDBOARDWARD (I THINK I GOT THAT THE RIGHT WAY AROUND).

    WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS DID SHE SET UP CARDBOARDWARD IN THE CAFETERIA TO STAGE THE ‘ASKING TO THE PROM’.

    AND WILL THERE BE A TEARY FIGHT SCENE OUTSIDE PROM WHEN SHE CATCHES HIM WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

    OR WILL THEY BE A LIFETIME LOVE STORY LIKE SOME LTTERS HERE TODAY?

    NO PROM FOR @CYN? :(

    • GRRR. REPLY FAIL.

      THIS IS FOR @ CYN ABOVE.

      • @SJ…OMELE!! SERIOUSLY? SOMEONE TOOK A CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF EDWARD TO THE PROM?? I NO LONGER FEEL WAY NOT NORMAL SLEEPING WITH BLANKET EDDIE!! LOVE LOVE LOVE THE BREAKDOWN!

        “WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS DID SHE SET UP CARDBOARDWARD IN THE CAFETERIA TO STAGE THE ‘ASKING TO THE PROM’ FOR THE WIN!!

        SO GLAD I AM NOT A TEENAGER RIGHT NOW..CUZ I AM SENSING THAT I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO INCORPORATE SOMETHING TWILIGHT RELATED INTO THE EVENING…
        NO (SNIFF SNIFF) WAS A NERD IN HIGH SCHOOL..NO ONE ASKED ME TO THE PROM…I THINK I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT…WHICH IS ONE OF THE MANY REASONS I PREFER MY TWI WORLD!! :)
        HAPPY SAFE FANTASTIC WEEKEND EVERYONE!!! :) HUGS TO ALL!!

  23. *types this comment while proudly wearing my new FABULOUS LTT Unicorns T-Shirt. Yes, even I am second-hand embarrassed.* ;)

    No, just kidding…. what I really love is that no one else in the universe will know what it means, and I now have, along with others, my own screen name, The Font, Mr. Choice, White Yorkie and Bobbygee’s screen names on my chest.

    Weird!

    LOL! Totally joshing ya! As we all know… having total strangers names on the shirt you’re wearing… THAT’S NORMAL!
    :D

    I didn’t go to Prom (thank Gawd), but I totally went to homecoming one year with this girl that I was friends with. Friends with… she sorta kinda thought it was something more. (It wasn’t!). I just wanted to go to some freakin’ school dance before I graduated, just to see what it was like. And even tho it was a cool, fun time, it really wasn’t the highlight of my high school life.

    Oh, and um, I will totally take the guy in the Stephenie Meyer pic in the Korts. Yummmm….. :)

    *drinks a double Jortstini*

    And, as an amateur supernatural bartender, I’ve made a few new drinks. There’s the Cullentini, and the Jortstini. If you want to know what goes in them, you’ll just… have to use your imagination! :D

    • Even without the recipe, I know I want a Cullentini! Make mine a double.

    • send us your picture in your unicorns shirt!!!!!!

  24. Ohhhh prom….what fun times we had while dancing it up in the really freaking hot basketball gym of my high school, while not wearing shoes because heels suck balls, and watching the drunks ruin the decorations we spent a whole day putting up.

    Ok, I actually kinda enjoyed prom. Except for the really hot gym..that wasn’t good. And drunks are kind of entertaining. But heels really do suck balls, and the first thing we did when we walked into the gym was find a corner to put my shoes and his jacket.

  25. I think proms are cool for the fun times people seem to have at them, but I gotta say that I think it’s ridiculous how they’ve become some sort of “right of passage” in the states. It’s a frakkin’ dance, geeze. I don’t understand why people get all tweed serious about it.

    • /end rant

  26. LOL. ‘Jacob’ looks like he’s got one foot out of the closet & ‘Edward’ looks a bit like Daniel Gale (sigh) in the last scene of ‘The Bad Mother’s Handbook’…

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