We’re not quite done with New Moon yet…

Dear Twilight New Moon,

Before we jump full swing into Eclipse mode, I feel we need to revisit New Moon & address some things we left out when discussing it incessantly over the past, oh, I dunno, year or so. While watching the movie with my hubby this weekend, (THAT review will be shared soon!) I was reminded of HOW AWKWARD it is to watch these movies with outsiders. I always feel the need to stop every 5 seconds and explain what is going on. Or explain what was going on in the book to make them come to this decision in the movie. Or explain how the book did it better. Or explain how it was less cheesy in the book. Or explain how Bella was less bitchy last time I remembered….

Here are a few things I meant to discuss long ago:

  • When Jake visits Bella at school on her birthday and they’re discussing Jacob’s Rabbit, Bella asks, “Is it fast?” (Awkward pause) Jacob, “Not really….” Ummmmmmm WHY? Why did this have to happen? Was it necessary to kill 15 seconds with utter awkwardness right there? If you were looking for something to fill that time, you could’ve asked me. My answer would have been LEG HITCH or the New Moon equivalent. (Hand-holding in the Volturi hallway- FAIL- I’m still pissed that scene wasn’t included)
  • Their English teacher, Mr. Birdy, looks like Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World!


  • How does no one think it’s odd that when Sam finds Bella he has his shirt off? I feel like we already discussed this or at LEAST mentioned it, but why aren’t people more in an uproar? WE understand that Sam is a wolf and therefore wears his jorts on a cord around his ankle & runs around shirtless, but no one else does. It was raining out. It was chilly. Doesn’t Charlie, the cop, think it’s odd that an older, shirtless guy finds his daughter and he’s half naked? Isn’t he concerned that maybe Sam got a little freaky? Shouldn’t we see Chris Hansen popping out of the trees? Or maybe the 15 seconds wasted on the Rabbit conversation could’ve been used here. Charlie asks: “Why the hell is your shirt off, Sam?” Sam:I’m a wolf therefore I’m used as sex appeal in this movie because Robert Pattinson is gone for the next hour and 1/2 I had to use it to dry off Bella’s face and I left it in the woods.” There done.
  • I'm sorry- who are you?

    After Bella finds out that Jake is a wolf & they are at Emily’s, Jacob saunters up to the house being the only boy fully clothed. Not only that, but he has this look. It’s this cocky look like he knows he’s the shit.  It’s hot. It’s a different Taylor and a different Jacob. The baby voice leaves us for a second & he just looks like a man. Gone are my visions of him on the cover of People mag in 3 years with the caption “YES- I’M GAY” while Big Daddy is in the background, with ketchup on his polo shirt. Just for those few minutes I can see Taylor as a grown up, sexy man- growing a little taller- fitting his muscles a little bit more- deepening his squeaky voice. Honestly, it looks like he lost his virginity the night before. I can’t tell if it’s Jacob who got freaky with a female wolf in the woods or if it was Taylor who gave it up. Either way I’m kinda feeling like Nikki Reed was involved. She either morphed into wolf form & took Jacob’s vcard or snuck into Taylor’s hotel room the night before. Possibly Forcefully.

  • When Bella tells Charlie that she needs a “girls night out” I appreciate the try, but it sounds more like a tom boy trying to convince her mom she wants to buy some Jimmy Choo’s. Or she’s being sarcastic and really IS having a girls night out… with “Ilikebigboobs41″ who she met on dykesRUs.com
  • In the garage when Bella meets Quil & Embry she says to them, sarcastically, “Oh- you have girlfriends now!?” And …. I just don’t get it? What does she mean? I’ve read the books & seen the movie 7 times… and every time I have NOT gotten that joke. What am I MISSING here!?

  • And THEN Jacob calls Mike a MARSHMALLOW? I mean #1 I don’t know what that is. And #2 Is that what the kids are saying these days? Because I’m PRETTY SURE a normal 16 year old isn’t going to call a dude he doesn’t like the name of a delicious snack that goes well with chocolate and graham crackers after being cooked over a fire. And #3 forget what I said above about forgetting Jacob is a soon-to-be-out-of-the-closet teen. I remember again.
  • This is one of my other favorite parts from the brilliance screenplay: Jake: “Bella, you’ve been lying to everyone … Charlie…. (awkward pause) ” Then he stops because he realizes she hasn’t been lying to anyone else….
  • And whyyyyy hasn’t it even been discussed or put on a Tshirt that it sounds like Jacob is trying to come out to Bella when she confronts him about being a wolf. “Bella, this isn’t a LIFESTYLE choice. I was BORN this way!” It feels a litttttle too much like Bobby is trying to tell his mommy that he wants to take Billy to the prom instead of Barbara

I could go on & on… and for sure I’d make at least 6 other gay references. I have no idea why I just made so many- but it’s like they all just HIT me when I watched the DVD this weekend!

Here’s for less gay jokes and more “oohs and ahhs” over hot LEG HITCH scenes in Eclipse,
UnintendedChoice xo

Before we retire New Moon forever (until our 10 year LTT world-wide tour) what have you noticed lately that we’ve never discussed? Did Yorkie seem the straightest of them all during your last viewing? Do you feel as awkward as I do when watching the movie with a first-timer!?

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272 Responses

  1. “•In the garage when Bella meets Quil & Embry she says to them, sarcastically, “Oh- you have girlfriends now!?” And …. I just don’t get it? What does she mean? I’ve read the books & seen the movie 7 times… and every time I have NOT gotten that joke. What am I MISSING here!?”
    YES!!!!!! I have NO idea either.

    The marshmallow thing – because he’s a softie???
    I dunno.

    I’ve never really watched it with an outsider, except for my mum. That was alright. I feel more awkward with my friends who have read the books and seen the films but aren’t as “into it” as me.

    • Seriously, no one gets that? I use (variations of) that line of my stupid male colleagues all the time. It’s like, “you’re teasing me about dating Jacob, but you’re only doing that because you don’t have girlfriends yourselves, you lame idiots.”

      • I got that, and I actually think it’s kind of funny.
        But I think she delivered it wrong. It made it seem… less funny, more random.

        • THIS!

          *sits back and anticipates thumbs-downs from the “KStew IS TOO an Amazing Actor Fan Club”*

        • Because she actually says “So you guys have girlfriends? That’s *awesome*.” It wasn’t delivered wrong. She’s just giving them shit for making fun of Jacob.

          • i’m not kidding, i still don’t get it.

            and i’m the queen of sarcasm

        • She totes delivered it wrong. I was like UC the first 5 times I watched it, going ‘wtf is Bella talking about?’ And then I got it. But I don’t think Kristen did….

    • Never “felt” the girlfriend line either. I knew what it was SUPPOSED to seem like – her having Jake’s back by saying “oh what DO YOU guys have girlfriends” (which they don’t of course…)…but its like a line got missed or something. Maybe it got screwed up in editing…or maybe it was just…

      SCREENPLAY FAIL. ;)

      • Don’t they come on & say that Bella is Jake’s girlfriend, & he says,’ no, a girl & a friend, & they say they don’t remember that distinction & THEN Bella says ‘Oh, you guys have girlfriends now?’ to turn it back on them…taste of their own medicine type stylee.

        It did puzzle me for a while but I thunked it through.

        • Yep that’s exactly the way I took it. That Quil and Embry were giving Jacob crap saying that he was all bragging to them that Bella was his girlfriend and Bella defends Jacob by turning it on them like “those on glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” type thing.

          I have to admit I had to think about that a bit too. Screenplay fail. It just didn’t come over well. We shouldn’t have to sit and think about it to figure out what the hell it was about.

          • “We shouldn’t have to sit and think about it to figure out what the hell it was about.”

            So says everyone who watched the “Lost” finale.

      • screenplay fail? or kstew fail?

        (haters, to the left.)

        • I agree. Though, I never had much of a problem with her delivery of the lines, as much as I did with her timing. Her timing bugs me. It’s like she’s always a beat too late, therefore the many awkward pauses throughout the movie.

    • If Jacob actually talked like a normal teenage boy, he would’ve called Newton a pussy. But we can’t have such dirty words coming from his precious little mouth, can we?

      • mama meyer won’t approve.

      • In the book and the movie pretty much all the characters speak like women in their late Thirties. Can’t imagine why that is so. *glares at Meyer and Rosenberg*

        • tee hee hee.

        • Mmmmm – late 30’s? More like late 60’s! I don’t know anyone that really talks like that anymore.

      • What’s odd, as far as tough guyness goes, I could definitely picture John Wayne calling some cow poke a MARSHMELLOW and not pussy.

        Maybe the tougher the *man* the sissier word works better.
        Therefore, a goofy guy needs to use hardcore words or he just sounds like a pansy.

        • That’s deep. And true. I like it.

      • I think Jacob actually says “Marshmallow” in the book.

  2. I never understood the line “you’re my only reason to stay alive, if that’s what I am”

    • She’s his only reason for being.
      What he means is: you’re my reason for staying alive, if that’s what you could call my state of being.

      • Yeah… I totally get the explanation but I still always roll my eyes when I hear that line.

        • Same here! I was watching it with my mom, and as much as I love Rob, I cringe when he says that line. And then he continues “It’s my JOB to protect you!” And I ALWAYS reply back: What? Are you like getting paid for it, dude? Jeez…

          • It’s your PURPOSE Edward, not your JOB, unless you have joined Bodyguard-R-Us.

          • I hate that whole scene – it’s all stupid and gay. And I LOVE Edward, he can do no wrong but that scene just doesn’t make sense. Cringe cringe cringe.

        • Me too! BUT it’s better than, “You better hold on tight SpiderMonkey!” Gag me with a spoon!!!!

    • I get it…but it exudes 10% Dreamy Romance and 90% PURE CHEESE.

      But I guess…Edward comes from a time when they prob DID talk like that! LOL!

      • Edward should say “C’est mon raison d’etre” because Rob speaking French is sofa king hot!

        Melissa Rosenberg: take note and have the honeymooners go to a French restaurant or something in Breaking Dawn. Also looking forward to hearing him speak Portuguese!

    • I actually love that line. It’s a little cheesy, yes, but let’s face it, so is Edward.

    • it’s actually IN the book, and it reads better than it comes out in the movie.

      cuz I was all pissed about that line.. till I read it again!

  3. Boy Meets World on LTT and Full House on LTR…. I think I’ve been transported back to 1994 LOL

    • I just… can’t help this. My apologies.

      • Dude, Corey looked up at the end of that & totally looked like Sam Bradley.
        *need a BritPack intervention*

  4. I was out of town for a whole week for work, and my bf missed me so much he watched Twilight AND New Moon… so when I came back this weekend we had a whole discussion about the saga. It was… awkward. But kind of liberating in a way. :-)

    A million thumbs up to UC for bringing up Mr. Feeny!

    • Dude. He missed you so he watches Twi and NM?!
      He’s a keeper!

    • @ Bella NaA
      WT… Are you for real?! ‘Cause where did you get him and how can I find one just like him?!

    • That’s the sweetest, most dorky thing I’ve ever heard!

  5. I annoyed the hell out of Mr. Old while watching both Twilight and NM because I’d explain every little thing.

    His usual response was, “Yes, I get it. It’s not that hard to follow.”

    I just felt the need to make the books seem cooler than the movies to justify my obsession.

    • Agreed. I do the same thing…but generally my husband IS confused.

      Muahahahahaaaa!

      • My husband won’t even watch ithemwith me! He thinks they’re chick flicks. I keep telling him that there is violence in both movies, albeit no guns, but violence nonetheless! He still won’t watch them!!!

        • My husband won’t watch the movies (or read the books either). It used to drive me up the wall with his obstinate refusal, but I’m actually kind of starting to be glad about it. He’d only think it’s even dumber that i like it so much and give me more crap about it.

        • I work at a video store, and when Twilight first came out on DVD guys were coming in saying ‘is it any good? I heard it was a vampire movie’ And i’m like ummmm no, not a vampire movie like you’re thinking…you don’t want to hire that :P

    • Hahaha, I do the same thing when watching with outsiders… until I realize that it’s beyond justification.

      • You might say it is irrevocably beyond justification…..

        • ;) Indeed!

    • Mr Tatt has so far refused to watch Twilight or New Moon. I only asked once and got a nasty smirk. You’d think he didn’t want to be tainted by sparkly cheesy chick fic… oh, yeah.
      Then again, he was quite excited to get the complete collection of Police Academy movies for Christmas.

    • oh I do that too….it usually doest work. erg

  6. Bottom line, there’s a lot of awkwardness in the movies. I didn’t think so much in the books so I guess I have to call Mel Rosenberg on this one. Or maybe just KStew. I’m trying to think of a role I’ve seen where she didn’t come off as awkward. … Nope. I got nuthin’.

  7. Love the picture of the marshmallow! Almost lost my coffee on that one!

  8. I recently had a question pop into my head that I can’t believe I never thought of before.

    Does anyone have an explanation as to why Alice didn’t “see” Bella cutting her finger when opening her birthday gift and then Jasper trying to have her for lunch?

    She saw Renee cancelling out on Bella’s graduation party, but she couldn’t see Bella nearly dying?

    Perhaps that could be a question for UC and Moon to ask SM when they meet her.

    • Agreed! I think that EVERY TIME I watch it!

      I’ve reasoned in my head that because Jasper’s reaction is “spur of the moment” she can’t see it “yet”.

      Who knows…ALICE FAIL!

      • and maybe coz bella wasn’t actually planning that paper cut.. it was an accident. that’s why alice couldn’t “see” it?

        • Aah. I hadn’t thought of that. Good call.

          • Hey! I’m reading your fanfic! I LOVE Teasecob. Tee hee. Chapter 18 is next…

          • @eatmyjorts – I’ve actually never written fanfic (only read it). I noticed there’s an author on “Twilighted” named toooldforthis, but it’s not me.

            But if I were to write fanfic, my stories wouldn’t include Jacob, unless I killed him off in the very first chapter ;)

          • @toooldforthis

            “But if I were to write fanfic, my stories wouldn’t include Jacob, unless I killed him off in the very first chapter”

            YOU WIN.

          • Boo hiss! And there I was all impressed with you!

          • @eatmyjorts – You cut me deep. You cut me real deep.

          • Oh TooOld For This & Fangbanger my finger is desperatly twitching to downsthumb you both, but I won’t.
            Yes I will.
            No I won’t.
            Feel like I have Bellaitis indecision.

    • She didn’t see it because you don’t make a decision to get a papercut. It just happens.

  9. I’m a lurker but THANK YOU for wondering about shirtless Sam carrying Bella from the woods! That has never made sense to me. Like in Twilight when Edward and Bella pull up to the police station after Buttcrack Santa was killed- Edward had no idea what was going on but he can read minds?

    • Ohhh good one about edward at the station!!

    • YES that bothered me too! He was all confused and like “What’s Carlisle doing there?” Umm, major OOC. It was like watching fanfiction.

      • “It was like watching fanfiction.” <– LMAO. Nice.

        • If only they had parked the car and got into the backseat of the Volvo and started removing their clothes……

          Ahem.. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard happens in fanfic. Not that I’ve read it myself or anything…..

          • Backseat?

            Why are they always in the front in the ones I read? I’m missing out, it seems.

          • Sometimes they’re up against the side of the car, on the hood, in the ditch by the side of the road……

            Apparently I need to hook you up with the good stuff.

    • What I don’t still get is why ” animal attack” in Twilight is so funny to some LTT readers. I watched Twilight DVD many times and I still don’t get the joke.

      • Me too! PFace once said at some fan thing (quoting Rob! muhahah) that he was asked to say that line. I too don’t get why it’s funny :(

        • Comment fail! I meant PFach.
          On the other hand, it’s like reading a shortened form of ‘Facepunch’ , only its backwards.
          Random comment ends here.

          • PFace has me rollin’. HAHHAHA. Love it.

      • It’s the original, ‘they’re not bears moment’. Pface’s not sly glance at Edward, hilar!

      • It’s funny because PFach delivered it like he was going to be handed an Oscar. I’m surprised he wasn’t wearing Tweed for the occassion.

        • Dying laughing. Seriously. Tweed serious.

      • he just sounds silly- and looks so serious and half the stuff we think is funny doesn’t make ANY sense!

    • I always justified it as he was ‘acting’ for Bella’s sake… Like he had to pretend he was just as confused as she is. I don’t think he would have pulled into the station if she never noticed her dad’s car…

      • Oh wait… nevermind… Just really thought about it and she already knew that he could read minds. I mean, they just got back from ‘Mushroom ravioli’ night right?

        Urgh… now that’s gonna irk me watching Twi everytime. That and why Edward wants her to ‘SAY IT OUT LOUD’

        • Because he can’t read her mind and wants to know for sure that she knows what he is. ?

          • And Edward’s bound by Volturi law not to say it but if Bella says it he can admit he’s a vamp. Same with Jacob in New Moon: he urges B to remember the whole story he told her on La Push beach.

    • I never understood why they dragged the body of Buttcrack Santa back to the police station.

      Why didn’t they send him to the morgue? Did they do the autopsy right there at the station?

      • Small town who knows. Where I grew up hospital & police station right next to each other and morgue at the back next to both.

    • The shirtless Sam has always bothered me, but I justified it in my mind by assuming Charlie chalks it up to a “cultural difference.” I dunno.

      • Charlie does give him a weird look, which I reckon is because of the shirt, but he’s too distracted about caring for Bella to ask.

  10. “After Bella finds out that Jake is a wolf & they are at Emily’s, Jacob saunters up to the house being the only boy fully clothed.”
    My theory? That was his punishment.
    Sam: “Jacob! I told you not to tell anyone!”
    Jacob: “Sam, I didn’t! She figured it out herself!”
    S: “Well, I can’t just let you get away with this. I hereby order you to wear long pants AND a shirt as punishment!”
    J: “Sam, please! Anything but that!”
    S: “The Alpha has spoken.”

    • LMBO…total comment WIN! Brilliant screenwriting.
      I’ve decided you should write Breaking Dawn. You will make it MUCH more interesting.

      • I love that!

        And I think there is a little bit of a smug ‘I’m free, free, free of my V’ about Taycob when he walks in clothed. He knows he has the power, but doesn’t need to flaunt it anymore. But then I’ve been reading J/B fanfic & may have lost the (original) plot.

        Or he’s just really pleased as he begged & begged Chris Weitz for some clothed scenes & he finally got one. Big Daddy had just put down his fish based snack & high fived him for this & then, roll camera…

    • Yes! Yes, that must be it. The last time I saw that scene it did strike me as odd as well. But I reconciled it in my mind that he had to wear a shirt so that he could be set apart from the others. Either that or they thought it would look too gay to have too buffed half naked dudes coming out of the woods from around the corner while touching each other. Just saying.

      Being an ardent Team Jacob sympathizer, I was most looking forward to what for me is the New Moon Leg Hitch equivalent which is when Jacob utters the words: “I bet you TASTE good”… but it never came. Booo!

    • Brilliant comment!

      However, I assumed that since they were fighting at Jacob’s house, he went in and got clothes after bursting out of his. The others arrived naked and therefore, left naked.

      I have no idea where Paul got more clothes before arriving at Emily unless he got them from Jacob.

  11. I’m still pissed that the Volturi hallway scene wasn’t in NM, too. However, they probably would have ruined it, so I suppose I should be grateful.

    Also, I just don’t get the garage/Quil and Embry scene at all. It felt so horribly awkward. I didn’t feel at all like Bella was being brought out of her funk. Or, that was easy for her to be around Jacob. We needed more banter and less montage.

    • you had me at funk.

      • I LOVE that montage. I am not a Jacob sympathiser but he looks hot in that montage, esp when he catches the wrench.

        • PS You had me at montage…

  12. When Edward and Bella are walking in the school corridor, does anyone else cringe when Edward says “Bella, you gave me everything by breathing.”

    Um, what?

    I watched the DVD a while back and it occurred to me, what did he mean by that? Overlooking the cheesiness of the line, of course.
    It could be that he meant that whenever she breathes out, he gets to smell her breath (ew) and that is um, appealing to him? Didn’t Edward always keep saying how good she smelled? Maybe her breath smelled like freesias too.

    And then Bella replies back, “Say, thank you. That’s all I want.”
    Care to explain that, Melissa Rosenberg on your facebook?

    I agree Jacob looked kinda hot in that grey-green tee. (That’s exactly the colour of Rob’s eyes, FYI ;) )

    Yeah, I too was bothered by the fact that Sam was shirtless when he finds Bella. I knew the story beforehand, but I still freaked out when I got the first glimpse of a manboob of some guy who was carrying Bella.

    When Bella asks Jacob if his car runs fast, I think he replies by saying “Umm, it’s decent.” That’s what I replied to my cousin when he asked me if my internet was fast. Too bad he didn’t get the twi reference :S

    • She gives him everything by simply being alive. She is his life now, after all.
      I heard, ” See, thank you. That’s all I want.” She doesn’t want presents, she just wants him and his love.
      Ech. It’s too early to have to explain cheese.

      I agree on Sam shirtless. If he were a bit more ripped, I might not have noticed how creeptastic that was.

      The “you have girlfriends now” line is much too awkward. I thought maybe she was saying “you ARE girlfriends now”, implying Quil & Embry are just too cozy cute.

      Another thing: in Bella’s room when Jake says if he could, he would run away with her, did anybody else get the feeling she was immediately sorry she’d made that comment? And was suddenly on alert for Chris Hansen?

      • Thanks for the cheese..err I mean for explaining the cheese.
        I love Edward. But if some guy started spouting lines like those in real life, I would have to beat him up with a baseball bat, js.

        • HAHAHAHAHAHAA totally. Why is it dreamy on screen or in a book…but LAME in person?! WHAT IS THAT?

          Reality and fantasy shouldn’t really ever meet?

    • And then Bella replies back, “Say, thank you. That’s all I want.”
      Care to explain that, Melissa Rosenberg on your facebook?

      Yes! Totally agree. WTF is that line?

    • the thing i don’t get about Bella asking if Jake’s car is fast (implying that it would be a good thing if it were fast) is that she HATES edward’s fast driving!! so wouldn’t jake’s car being fast make her less likely to want to go for a drive in it!?

  13. The only thing that has ever REALLY annoyed me about New Moon is Edward talking about suicide. I mean, really? DUDE. Bella should have called a hotline or something.

    If he were a human, I can imagine that two months after that convo, Beller would be sitting in the ER watching him guzzle charcoal and puking his pretty guts out.

    • I choked on my oatmeal. Love. Muhahahahahaaaa.

    • For realz. I guess Edward would disagree with the old addage: “It’s better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.” Cuz if life was sooo terrible, why didn’t he off himself a long time ago?

  14. I feel I must let you into a Twi-based ‘situation’ I found myself in at work. I was talking to a 16yr old girl about her difficulties because she has 2 guys who really like her & she likes them both, & gets with one & then the other. Sound familiar? Thought it might. Eventually when we were trying to work out what it was about each of them she liked & couldn’t give up I basically described Edward & Jacob’s feelings for Bella, & she said ‘That’s exactly it!’ which is when I told her that what ‘it’ was,was Twilight…

    So this week, we sit down to chat again, & she’s still in the same situation & I ask if she’s read Twilight (no, but has seen the films). I say she needs to read them & then she says that she’s hoping that Bella’s choices in the last book & how their situation turns out might help her resolve her issues. Gulp. Heart sinking I then have to describe what happens in BD…vampire babies, caesarean, imprinting…the lot. Oh, Stephenie, where were you in our hour of need?
    She even wrote on her comments sheet that she was disappointed in Twilight. Oh, not as much as me, sweetpea, not as much as me….

    • “Disappointed in Twilight” Understatement…

      Wait, aren’t you a youth group director?

      • Yup. What difference should that make?

        • None at all, I think it’s great actually

    • Guess these books don’t apply to real life as much as one might hope!

  15. ;)

  16. Did it bother anyone one else when Bella was wiggin’ out (Ha! Shoulda saved that pun for Eclipse) and was all, “OMG! A grey hair?!” Duuuude. 1st of all, are you that effing gullible? And 2nd, don’t think you have to worry ’bout gray hairs for a while sweetie. You just turned 18 for f*ck sake! I know, I know… she’s a lil’ paranoid after her old lady dream but still, can you say over-reaction?!

    Okay now for serious guys…..
    (Yes tweed kinda serious)
    I don’t understand why Edward takes Bella for a ‘walk’ in the woods to break up with her. It happens in the movie AND in the book. Oh and he just leaves her knowing full well that there are other vampires out there?! I know he was tracking Victoria but he trusted that Laurent wouldn’t mess with Bella?! I’m thinking it would have been better if he would have taken the real douche route and broken up with her via phone or text… Hey, he wanted her to hate him, right? That way she’d been safe, wondering in a catatonic daze in her own house instead of tripping, falling down, and getting lost in the woods. Just sayin’…

    • I’ve had gray hairs since I was 17. Ugh.

      Aww… Edwardo couldn’t break up with her via text! Then, EVERYONE would be Team Jacob. Can’t have that, can we? ;)

      • Me too! I started growing a few grey hair when I turned 13! So did my brother. It’s genetic apparently :S

      • @fangbanger & toooldforthis
        Okay so apparently I was had no idea about this adolescent hair graying epidemic. Perhaps Bella isn’t such an over-reacting twit? Nahh

        • Oops sorry meant Rob’s slow mo’ strut :) ’bout the gray issue :)

    • This is why NM was so very OOC, for me at least.

      There’s no way Edward would leave Bella and tell Alice not to watch for her future. FAIL!

      • @toooldforthis:
        Tru dat! Jeez I didn’t even think ’bout the Alice issue. Yep sooo #OOC

    • Correct me if I am wrong, please, it’s been a while since I read the book….
      Didn’t he leave her in the woods within sight of her house, but then she went running after him calling her name, and got her own self lost?

      I sort of forget.

      • @lapushbaby:
        Actually I think you’re right. But in the movie it looked more like he took her for a Sunday stroll into the middle of the woods *shrug*

        • RIGHT. So it doesn’t make sense in the movie…… because book-Edward was more considerate than that, and would not have left her in the middle of nowhere!! Well, then, another mark in the ‘Crappy Screenplay Writing’ column….

        • Yeah, that’s the one I’m always explaining to people because they want to know why he left her “in the middle of the woods.” In the book, they were in sight of the house, but then she ran after him into the woods. FAIL!

          • Still, he should have known he would follow her. This is where I started to dislike Edward and didn’t like him again until Breaking Dawn. There, I said it.

          • OMG I’m glad I’m not the only one, Heidi’sMom. I feel so sacreligious thinking Edward’s a bit of an A-hole until he actually acts like a teenager for 5 whole minutes in BD.

            Jacob is a dick in Eclipse too though. Men! *huffs*

    • I’m pretty sure that when Edward left, he had no idea that Victoria was coming back for Bella, or that Laurent was not still in Denali.

      And yes, in the book he leaves her in sight of the house, but they definitely could have made that clearer in the movie.

      He couldn’t have broken up via text in the book, ‘cuz Bella didn’t have a cell phone!

  17. My rambling thoughts w/little sleep (sorry if I reiterate, totes agree w/all y’all)
    -Always nervous w/newbies & strangers. They never quite get it unless they’ve read it
    -JxB @ skool: totes awkward w/th laugh. Inside joke? Is she doubting his mad skillz?
    -Sam: my sis couldn’t stop laughing: “shouldn’t he be worries that a half-naked guy walks out of the woods w/his unconscious daughter?”
    -Tay was totes hot. I esp like the music/song too. Harmonica?
    -gal nite out: I can’t believe Charlie bought that.
    -garage: don’t remember, but anyone know what the actual subtitles say? ( I think I’ve only watchd th dvd by itself ONCE-th other times w/commentary bcuz ChrisWeitz is hilarious. Miss him. P.S. @DavidSlade: please don’t eat KStews or anyone ones burgers so we can hav Rob on commentary for Eclipse) anyway, I think B is trying to say ‘oh, so you guys know the difference btween gal pals & girlfriends cuz you guys have them?”
    -marshmellow: mike is soft/weak=weak stomach/marsh-mellowy stomach
    -LOL so hard @ yor ‘lying to everyone’ comment. True that
    -lifestyle choice: agreed
    -yes, some lines are so cringe-worthy (books SO much better)
    -Alice: I’ve always understood it as she can only see things that are decided. B didn’t ‘decide’ to cut her finger. Jasper didn’t ‘decide’ to attack her. Like how in book when B was stil deciding btween J&E she askd Alice if she could stil see B as a vamp (asking if she had already made her choice or not)
    -Edward @ station: hmm. Maybe no one was actually thinking ‘omg. Buttcrak santa got mauled. Animal attack!’ (No luv for buttcrak santa except his lady friend?) Or too many thoughts? If he didn’t know what was going on then it made no sense for Daddy Cullen to b ther cuz it ain’t no hospital? Tho Carlisle & E should’ve sensed each other
    -I LOVED th scene where E explains everything to B after she wakes up. ‘Before you, moonless night, blinded forever, I’ll prove your awake, SHE kisses HIS neck/throat…’ I felt cheated. That & th break-up (I wanted movieB to cry me a river after I cried an ocean for bookB)
    -ExB, everything by breathing: basically she is evrything to him: her life/existence. If she’s not alive/breathing, then he’s not alive/living (if that’s what he is… :) ). B supposedly don’t want nothing material, word of ‘thanks’ enough?
    -suicidal E: I guess he’s thought about it b4 & so lived it for a while back in Twi w/James? Totes EmoWard
    K folks that’s as far as I got in th comments & all th brain supply I can muster. Wow. That felt Twilisophical for a wile.

    • Are you sure you wore tweed throughout the time you were being twilosophical? ;)

      • LOL plaid tweed jammies?

        • Both hot & hawt?

  18. Watching either of the movies with outsiders is indeed, incredibly awkward! Mr. Pocket was kind enough to watch both with me when the dvds came out and I felt like I had to justify my love for it every second. I always try to tell him how much better the books are then the movies, but it doesn’t help, he just looks at me like I’m crazy and then tells people any chance he can get how much I love Twilight. Then I told him about LTT and it really went downhill. If I give him a titty twister and a look of death he usually calms down but the damage is done.

    Also, in the movie, Bella’s nightmare screams are just awful.

    • @CalientePocket:
      Yes. Can totally relate. Watched the movies with my sis (not a Twilighter) and trust me, attempts to explain said outsider that the book is better or less cheestastic will go in vain. They just don’t understand….

      “Also, in the movie, Bella’s nightmare screams are just awful.”–Total!
      Either Charlie should have taken her ass to a shrink or a med doc. I mean she had to be passing some kind of ginormous kidney stones or maybe suffering from some killer pms cramps?! Yikes!

      • Yes, definitely period cramps for months on end! haha.

        Seriously though, if my daughter was screaming every night into her pillow and looked/acted like a zombie, off to the pysch ward with her. Parenting FAIL

        • I totes read Psych ward as Psychward – like an FF version of Edward. #Normal

          Bella could be the beautiful, mysterious patient of Dr. Edward Cullen in an asylum. Or vice-versa, OR they are both patients. Someone should get on that.

      • Charlie drinks, can’t hear her.

    • “…then tells people any chance he can get how much I love Twilight”
      OMG, my mom did the same thing once!
      I was explaining to my mom’s brother the fate of the universe (since I’m a physics nerd) and all the talk about the Big Bang and the Big Crunch. Just as soon as I had finished a totally geeky lecture on the critical density of Earth, my mom says:
      “Oh honey, I still don’t get despite all this, why do you like to watch that silly film over and over again?”
      My uncle, who had lived in the US for a very long time, and who saw the books on my desk started asking me: “Is this about that “moon” thing?”
      And my mom was like “Yeah, “moon” something. I think that’s the name…”

      Your family can be sooo embarrassing at times.

      • It’s so embarrassing. My husband brings it up every chance he gets because he thinks it’s funny! There is no WAY I’m going to tell him that I read fic. I have to sneak around like I’m on some porn site or cheating on him.

        • IKR?

          The biggest reason I’d never read ff was because I didn’t want to freak out about internet history clearing stress or questions. One more thing to make Mr JE think I’ve gone too far with my twi love (though he should be glad I’m not like those crazy twi moms with a stand-up Edward and red carpet and crap or those sorority chicks on Oprah. Both broadcasting all that the whole country).

          • True that!

            PS- ff is worth the trouble!

          • CP- oh I know. I cashed in my ff v-card the moment I got a droid. So now I have my own hand held ff machine. Sure the small screen and text can be a little non-ideal… But worth every ff moment. :)

  19. LOVE this post. Yes, yes, yes on the girlfriend comment (huh???), asking about the rabbit being fast — like Bella would care, and lying to… Charlie. Here are some others that stand out to me: #1 I HATE how in the woods at the breakup, Bella is trying to get Edward to stay/take her with him and then one comment from him and she says, “That changes things.” I mean, I know she doesn’t think she deserves him, but the way she seems to just accept it so readily makes her look so stupid. #2 Alice’s clothes… OMFG. The huge jackets. She’s dressing like Whoopi Goldberg. #3 When Bella drives the motorcycle and crashes… why doesn’t Jake just run to her. The time it takes to get on and off the motorcycle… he could’ve just been there. #4 When Charlie is talking about searching for Bella and says he’s gonna call the Cullens’ house again — Billy and Harry talk about how they left town. Uh… wouldn’t that have come up earlier in the conversation. I’m ashamed to say this, but I just watched New Moon again last night and waited until my husband was in bed because I didn’t want him to think I’m more of a freak than he already does. :)

    • Whoopi Goldberg FTMFW!!!!!

  20. I’m either being slightly retarded or geekin’ out twilight style but isn’t the english teachers name Mr Berty?
    I might be wrong though!

    • It is. What is the teacher in Twi though, ‘cuz it’s a dif. name in the book and in the movie (which still makes NO SENSE TO ME!!!)

      • Haha, I’m glad I’m not the only one, because that always bothered me, too! Totally unnecessary name change.

      • The bio teacher in Twi is called Mr. Molina. Don’t ask me how I know that..:S

  21. I have issues with all of New Moon. I was watching Twilight on Showtime last night, and I just really hope THAT Edward comes back for Eclipse. I just felt like he had more desire in his eyes and there was more smirking and smiling with Bella. Granted, NM was full of Tweed-like situations, but some of the sweet, romantic moments seemed so forced and cheesy. Mr.G still refuses to read or watch anything from the beginnning (he always seems to come in during the Bella-is-a-stuttering-machine part), but he did watch a few minutes of the end last night in which he said, and I quote, “These actors are terrible.” Me: Well, she may be. He’s not THAT bad. “Just because he makes your panties wet does not mean he’s a good actor.” Me: (feigning embarrassment) He does NOT. “Oh, come on. He does, doesn’t he?” Me: Well, that’s kinda the point. :)

    • “Just because he makes your panties wet does not mean he’s a good actor.”
      This is what it all comes down to, doesn’t it?

      • PREACH! :)

    • Lmao! He DOES have a way of affecting panties.

  22. Okay, it’s sad how much effort I’m putting into this post but here’s another one: when Aro sees Alice’s vision of Edward and Bella as vampires… I just don’t think Bella looks enough like a vampire. She barely sparkles and besides her eyes — it’s just a fail for me.

    BTW, hiding head in shame over just typing “She barely sparkles.”

    • and how about CW blaming Robert’s running for ruining that scene!!! It was the gay-arse clothes you idiot!!!

  23. So I watched NM with the gay bff this weekend. He had actually been bothering me about wanting to see it (I think he mostly wanted to look at Taycob’s abs) so it wasn’t like he was forced, but I was still kind of wary. It was indeed very awkward. He had watched Twilight with me last year, but I gave him a refresher course to get him caught up to NM…that was almost worse than watching the movie, because I’d be explaining it, then I would listen to myself saying these things and think omg WHY am I talking about this like it’s so serious? Anyway, yeah I cringed the whole time and would glance over at him during the cheesy parts. And of course we both died laughing at Jake’s “it’s not a LIFESTYLE choice, Bella!” He seems to think the whole movie is some sort of metaphor for coming out of the closet.

    I never understood the whole “so you guys have girlfriends” line either! I think she was just trying to be sarcastic, but then when Jake is like “yeah right, Quil’s taking his cousin to prom” that throws it off for me. I dunno, just awkward. Hahaha and the “you’ve been lying to everyone” scene. I always just laugh at that scene because after watching the commentary I just think about them trying to act while being doused with freezing water. It was probably hard as hell to remember any kind of lines! There are just so many awkward lines. One thing that always kind of gets me is when Edward is reciting the Romeo and Juliet lines. Okay, I love you Rob, but it just came off very monotone. I’m thinking that he’s supposed to sound all romantic or whatever with his “velvety voice” but it just didn’t sound that way. It reminded me of high school English when we had to memorize the beginning of the Canterbury Tales and you recited it the way you memorized it, like one line at a time. I dunno.

    • I agree, the lines in the movie get very awkward sometimes. I wish the writers/directors would have spent a day shadowing teenage kids. Because Bella/Jacob do not say anything a teen would say in real life.

      Then again, I guess they don’t really in the books, either. Teenagers don’t tend to use “chagrin” and “eternal” and “irrevocable” very often.

      • No kidding,
        Teen Speak 101:

        chagrin= FML
        eternal = 4Evah
        irrevocably= Totes

        • I laughed, OUT LOUD. you = funny!!

          irrevocably = totes, seriously, I will be laughing for a while just thinking of this so, thanks.

        • There’s a Twilight graphic novel. Can we get a version entirely in netspeak and emoticons like those Lauren Myracle books TTFN & TTYL?

    • “I’d be explaining it, then I would listen to myself saying these things and think omg WHY am I talking about this like it’s so serious?”

      Thank you for encapsulating my feelings exactly!!! It is especially a problem because my mom and sister like Twi but then I’ll be sitting on the couch giggling about something and then I’ll try to explain it to them (like this blog) and then they’ll just tune out on me and I’ll listen to myself… Anyways, it’s not pretty.

    • I understood the girlfriends line, so it didn’t bother me. In fact, I thought it showed how horribly awkward Bella was when she met new people. She tried being sarcastic on the first day of school in Twilight which resulted in that horrible albino comment.

    • good point. I would much have rather watched Edward purr in her ear, reciting…..as in the book…not having to retell it to the teacher because he was busted. very disappointing.

  24. Two things bug me. First, the part where Jacob hangs up on Edward and Alice slowly walks in the room. I would assume that if her brother was about to kill himself she could use her vampire speed and move a little faster.

    Second why does Bella take off all of her jewelry before she jumps off the cliff? She is just going to have to go back up there and get it all.

    • I just thought of one more. I have to fast forward the part where Edward does the whole reciting Shakespeare thing. Was that really needed? For some reason it make me cringe.

    • Alice bugs me in that scene, too. She just meanders back in when she should have been streaking in and speaking quickly, not being all dramatic “He’s going to the Volturi.. pause… pause.. pause… pause.. pause He wants to die, too.”

      I also didn’t understand why Bella took off all her jewelry, but not her shoes… you know.. things that would weigh her down…

      • When Bella jumps off the cliff, I always have to scream at her to close her legs :D

        • I think Edward screams that too…but not in that scene. And not out loud. ;-)

          • LMAO *like*
            Comment was epic win.
            Comment is why I’m Team Edward.

          • Best comment of the day! Laughed really loud with that one.

          • I love all these comments. Days like this are why I love LTT.

      • Isn’t she receiving the vision? Like when the Big Giant Head transmits to Harry in 3rd Rock From the Sun? Now that would lighten the tension of the movie!

    • Maybe she didn’t want to lose it in the water? I mean, technically she’s gonna have to go back up to get her truck anyway.

    • Alice pretty much bugs me in the whole movie. She looks kind of slow and stoned the entire time. I always pictured her as small and peppy and sprightly (whatever all that is) in the book … movieAlice just doesn’t work for me.

      • Win for sprightly!

        Ashley’s acting made me cringe from the first time I heard her speak. To me she looked close enough to what I’d pictured in pictures of her as Alice, but then she gets on screen & speaks…

  25. “Honestly, it looks like he lost his virginity the night before. I can’t tell if it’s Jacob who got freaky with a female wolf in the woods or if it was Taylor who gave it up. Either way I’m kinda feeling like Nikki Reed was involved. She either morphed into wolf form & took Jacob’s vcard or snuck into Taylor’s hotel room the night before. Possibly Forcefully.”

    Lol. I thought the same thing at that point in the DVD. I didn’t start googling backstories about the movies cast until this year after I bought the New Moon DVD, I was oblivious until a few months ago about all the gossip and drama surrounding the actors. But getting into the gossip game late has had it’s advantages: 1) instant gratification of answers that have already been hotly debated months prior and 2) the ability to see before/after interviews and photographs that lend credence to any of the gossip and rumours I was reading.

    You point out in the quote above one example of the many conclusions I’ve drawn in comparing my newfound Twilight gossip notes: there was a major shift in sweet Taylor’s disposition during the filming of New Moon and Eclipse that doesn’t just portray itself as acting on screen. Compare the bouncing, head-thrown-back-laughing, ear-to-ear grin, leg-shaking and fan hugging 16yo Taylor from Twilight promo appearances to today’s cordial grin, Pope wave, and GQ poses for cameras. The enthusiastic “sun” has dimmed recently, and it all seemed to start after New Moon. Yea! for Taylor growing up (if that’s all it is), but Boo! for us in missing that TayTay we saw in the(full cast) Vouge and EW (w/Kstew) photoshoots. I miss that kid.

    Anyway, after comparing notes, if what we suspect is true, I also think Nikki would have played a role. Not just because of all the pics of them hanging out alone together in Vancouver last year (about the time he started ‘changing’), but because of a YouTube video I saw of Nikki and Chris Weiz a couple months ago talking about their favorite parts of New Moon. Nikki (with her KStew bff drama in full swing at the time) tries to look coy and looks sideays at the camera when she deliberately excludes every other cast member and responded that anything Taylor was in was awesome…then grins. Even Chris glances over at her for a second like the girl’s lost her mind before he composes himself and does his best to pretend she really meant it as a compliment and wasn’t really so stupid as to blatantly fail at obvious inuendo in a NM interview. I didn’t even know any of the drama surrounding her at the time I watched that video, or much about Taylor either, yet my initial reaction (supported by Chris’) was: “Ok Nikki, so what you’re trying to tell Taylor through us is…you liked him in you.” ;)

    Team Taylor’s Smile

    • I have been shamelessly accusing Nikki of taking Tay’s V card since filming of New Moon too. She talks an awful lot about the sweet 17 year old’s abs. With “that” look on her face. You know the look. If you saw 13, then you know what Nikki is capable of. I have to say I don’t blame her though. If I coulda, I woulda too! LOL
      And I really don’t think Taylor’s gay. I think Nikki just scared him a little.
      I’d love to see the interview you’re talking about – do you remember who was interviewing them?
      P.S. Miss that smile too. :)

  26. I always thought the line was
    “You guys have girlfriends? Wow, that’s awesome.” It makes more sense for her to say ‘wow’ than ‘now’ since she’s being sassy with them. Now I might have to go back and take another listen.

  27. Bella: “Jacob whats wrong? what are you hiding?”
    Jacob: “I am gay” (awkward silence) “oooo.. you meant the wolf crap–“

    • The gag order… don’t ask, don’t tell.

    • I bet that would make the whole nudity before/after phasing much more awkward for the entire pack.

  28. “This is one of my other favorite parts from the brilliance screenplay: Jake: “Bella, you’ve been lying to everyone … Charlie…. (awkward pause) ” Then he stops because he realizes she hasn’t been lying to anyone else….” HAHAHAHA. YES!

    And I always thought that the jake on the beach was so a commentary on him coming out. I mean, why else was it there? There’s a segment of dialogue to steal from the book that’s more succinct than that. I actually wrote down on my second viewing of NM (which was the day after my midnight viewing, normal.) what things might make good jokes for LTT… and gay day on the beach was def. on the list (and you try writing in the dark w/out supernatural vision!). It was sort of like how the cougar line was written for Cougwicke and not the audience…

    I’m sure someone’s addressed this already since we’re at like 87 comments by now, but the gf joke is that they’re trying to make Jake uncomfy about her being his gf when she’s not, so she–being jacob’s friend and all–disses them ‘cuz she knows they don’t have gfs. I always laugh.

    Ok, coffee time.

    ps-that marshmallow made me laugh pretty hard.

    • marshmallow line is mine and MrA’s fave line in the whole movie. We always share a little laugh!!! Yes, he watches it with me every time, and Twilight, and with commentary on. He pretends to hate it but really he does enjoy it.

  29. Is There something to read after twilight?

    A story that interested me is over there.

    Jacob is the only character that Meyer used to spoil my story.

    Regrettable (my English included).

  30. Totally off topic, but the kid that sat near me in business class today had jorts on. I did a double take then looked at him like wtf?! Hopefully he never noticed.

    • Umm.. I don’t know if anyone on here watches Little People, Big World but the oldest son wears jorts on the regular.

      • That’s right he does!!

    • I saw jorts in the boy’s section at Old Navy this spring and had to text my Twi-loving friend suggesting we buy matching pairs for our 6 and 8 year old sons. I didn’t even know they were called jorts since I hadn’t found LTT yet. And then I became ill realizing that even though I was half-kidding, I was considering dressing my third grader like my crush from a movie for teenagers. Wrong. Parenting fail.

      • my 4 year old daugher has jorts. They were given to us as a hand-me-down. But I do try to get her to wear them. She refuses. Obs she has better taste than me!

  31. “Honstly, it looks like he lost his virginity the night before.” – hahaha! win! Jacob completely does look like that when he arrives at Emily’s.

    On a separate note, this last weekend MrJacobEdward
    went to see Robin Hood with a couple of his buddys. He tells me that there was a preview “for that Twilight movie” and it looked terrible. I told him “whatever” and that he’s just determined to hate it solely based on the fact that out had anything to do with Twilight so he couldn’t be an unbiased judge. He points out that I can’t be unbiased about the movies either.

    I honestly thought he might have actually admitted Eclipse looked like it could be good when he saw a preview and it might be the movie that acts as his “gateway drug” and agrees to find out about the whole Twilight thing. But I kind of felt RELIEVED so I wouldn’t have to do that explaining and defending.

    • Wait, the Eclipse trailer is running in front of Robin Hood? I might have to go see that now…
      *grabs purse and heads for the nearest theater*

      • You make me feel NORMAL that at EVERY movie I see from now till Eclipse I have butterflies during the trailers…just HOPING to see a Summit logo…

        Yes, totally normal.

      • IKR? I was suddenly bummed when he’d come home and said that because they’d offered me to go with (as I do a lot of times since we all grew together) but I’d declined not wanting to hunt down a babysitter for the kids and wasn’t busting too see the movie. I so wanted to kick myself! Finding a sitter would have sooo been worth the trouble if I’d gotten to see an Eclipse trailer.

      • IKR? I was suddenly bummed when he’d come home and said that because they’d offered me to go with (as I do a lot of times since we all grew together) but I’d declined not wanting to hunt down a babysitter for the kids and wasn’t busting to see the movie. I so wanted to kick myself! Finding a sitter would have sooo been worth the trouble if I’d gotten to see an Eclipse trailer.

        • How did my coment post twice?????

          • You are magic….

  32. “Not only that, but he has this look. It’s this cocky look like he knows he’s the shit. It’s hot. It’s a different Taylor and a different Jacob.”….
    Okay, *I* turn into a marshmallow when I read that. Ughhhhh he was so hot in that scene. Best scene of the movie. Why o why couldn’t Edward have been that sexy anywhere in the film? Let’s hope he is in Eclipse or else I’ll continue being Team Jacob.

    Also what is with all of this Taylor is gay business? Seriously. I’ve known a gay man or two in my life and he just doesn’t strike me as that. He’s maybe socially awkward but that’s not gay.

    • I think he was spotted at a party in Hollywood that was mostly attended by gay men. Or something. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

      • Didn’t it turn out he was in Spain when the party happened? Any way, how could you go anywhere in Hollywood with showbiz peeps & there not be lots of gay men there?

        As far as Taylor goes, I have friends/workmates who are infintely camper than he is & yet are resolutely heterosexual. My gaydar is rubbish.

      • That rumor was wishful thinking – he was in Madrid.

        • Europeans are just different. I know them and am marrying one. So I can attest to the fact that although they may sometimes seem gay they actually aren’t.

          For example, I can see Taylor wearing a speedo and stillbeing totally straight.

          So being at a European party does not make one gay. Maybe he’s just curious. About the Europeans, I mean.

          I feel so oddly protective of him. Wondering if someday he’ll reward me for that…

          This was a really random comment.

          Oh yeah, and he’s vanilla and campy etc. etc. but so are most people who grew up in his little hometown in Michigan. Again, I should know.

      • Was that a Seinfeld reference? I luv u.

  33. If the wolves carry their jorts on a cord (hey, like “soap on a rope”) how do they tie the knot? They don’t have opposable thumbs. Paws can’t tie. Do they tie on the jorts before they fursplode? But what about when they phase on the fly?

    When Quil and Embry show up in the Jake’s garage, Bella kind of hides and Jake says, “No, it’s OK”. Why is Bella trying to hide?

    • If I remember from the book, I think they usually go off into the woods and get nekkid before they phase, so they probably tie the jorts on then. Remember how Jacob ruined his last pair of shoes when he phased on the fly going after Paul?

      And I think she was hiding because she thought Billy was coming in. They didn’t really do a good job in the movie explaining how the bikes were a secret project.

      • I *swear* I read the book. ;)
        ForgettingDetailsDue2WineConsumedDuringReading

        • I’m such a dork I need CliffsNotes for the Twilight Saga.

        • ForgettingDetailsDue2WineConsumedDuringReading – FTW! That’s my reason for forgetting many things.

    • Because she doesn’t want Charlie to know about the motorcycles, they’re a secret. So I guess she’s afraid it’s Charlie or Billy or some adult who’ll narc her out coming into the garage.

    • I think Bella was trying to hide the motorcycles – pull the cloth over them – and not actually hide herself.

      Cuz hiding herself? that wouldn’t make ANY sense. (“What is that Bella-shaped object under the blanket??”) Oh, wait, in that case- maybe that’s exactly what the screenplay said…..

  34. One thing I spotted when I decided to watch NM this past weekend again was that scene when Bella is with Jacob at the movies, when they walking just after the ‘Marshmellow’ comment. I guy walks past with popcorn towards the theatre and I swear its Rob. I duno…has anyone noticed??? The theatre is empty and randomly I guy in all blue with a semi- bouffant walks past them.

    • I never noticed that. I’d better investigate.

      *runs to grab New Moon from shelf*

      • I think it merits a breakdown actually… And because I’m sorta bored right now. I watched that ET interview with K on set when they filmed that scene and Rob was there wearing navy. Lol. He’s like lingering in the background. I’m convinced its him.

        • OK I just watched it on my iphone (yes I have both movies on it for regular reference. I don’t think it is Rob – not long enough legs and wrong walk. coughnotthatI’mobsessedoranythingcough

  35. Oh! Another thing I noticed for the first time this past weekend is the not so hidden Burger King product placement outside the theatre. The bag actually stands perfectly straight on top of a trashcan and changes position whenever the shot changes. Lol.

    Not very subtle there Mr Weitz…

    • Your eye for detail is incredible! Damn, I really need to know if that’s Rob and check out the Burger King thing. I love the thought that money is so tight that Summit can’t afford extras so just try to get their money’s worth with the main actors! Bahahahaha!

  36. I ALWAYS giggle when Jacob tells Bella it’s “not a lifestyle choice” and that he was “born” that way. I know that will be the exact wording he uses when he talks to Big Daddy about it.

    • OMG! I can imagine it now… the breadsticks arrive and Big daddy’s all, “So, you’re gay?” “Guess so. One of the lucky members of the tribe who got the gene.”

      • WIN!

  37. “…Either way I’m kinda feeling like Nikki Reed was involved. She either morphed into wolf form & took Jacob’s vcard or snuck into Taylor’s hotel room the night before. Possibly Forcefully. ”

    AHAHAH! I have TEARS–fucken TEARS!–from laughing soo hard.

    I might as well go to sleep since nothing will top the hilariousness of this letter.

    UC you are one awesome person :D

    • oh you are too sweet… and completely lying, but I’ll take it
      xoxo

  38. Little things that bother me in NM:
    – The infamous paper cut gift is supposed to be plane tickets. But the box is a small square, like would hold a bracelet or something like that.
    – Bella yells at biker dude to stop. But why exactly? Does she think they are going to “hit” Ghostward?
    – When Jacob has pulled Bella from the water and they are on the beach, there’s a point where Sam yells at them like they are far away. And then in the next shot it appears that he’s only a few feet from them. Weird.

    • In regards to
      “When Jacob has pulled Bella from the water and they are on the beach, there’s a point where Sam yells at them like they are far away. And then in the next shot it appears that he’s only a few feet from them. Weird”

      That was probably an editing mistake.

      And yes I think Bella wanted the biker dude to stop to either look at ghost Edward or because she thought they were going to hit him not sure why…..I really dont like that scene in the movie…

    • I still think that about the gift! Shouldn’t it be like an envelope or something?

      Also, you had me a “hit ghostward”… ROB FEVER!

      • I just laughed at you…OUT LOUD! And I don’t even have Rob fever at the moment. *lie…I always have that*

  39. I can’t even watch New Moon anymore without Rifftrax…

    The Jacob @ Emily’s house in the doorway is the hottest Jacob moment EVER! Closely followed by the half-naked Jacob in Bella’s bedroom…. but GAH that hug he gave her could have been hot if it weren’t for her awkward hand placement… I mean really who hugs like that?!?

    I thought the Jasper scene in the hallway at school was silly… “I’m sorry Bella. Happy (pause) nevermind.” And then pan to Bella and you can’t even tell he was doing anything…..

    But still, miles better than Twilight…

    • I think it is a fail that Jasper is even AT school. He is supposed to have graduated the year before. But…that isn’t known unless you’ve read the books, as it is not even mentioned in the movies that Emmett, Rosealie, & Jasper graduated.

      • OMG I never clicked at that!!!!!!

        I think the ‘jasper, no fair’ thing is kinda lame, but i like jaspers ‘happy..nevermind’ bcuz he can sense bella’s annoyance.

        but still, WHY IS HE AT SCHOOL!?!?

  40. Totally off topic…

    Just got an email with header “Great Science and Midnight Sun”. It seems there’s a conference in Sweden coming up soon. Damn! I was thinking of a different midnight sun for a moment. And what it would have in common with science – great or otherwise.

  41. “I’m PRETTY SURE a normal 16 year old isn’t going to call a dude he doesn’t like the name of a delicious snack that goes well with chocolate and graham crackers after being cooked over a fire.”
    Ok, that’s just freakin hilarious.

    Yes, I do feel mega awkward with first timers. I even preface it with “you probably aren’t going to like it”…. and then I’m overly excited at first when they do like it, but then question them relentlessly on why they do… It’s all very awkward.

  42. Oh I just thought of something else that’s always bothered me, and then I didn’t have an answer when my friend asked me about it. When Bella’s in the water trying to fight the waves and she sees Victoria swimming toward her, and then bumps her head and goes unconscious…why doesn’t Victoria just take her then??? It just cuts to her floating and then we see Ghostward, and then Jake pulls her out…if vampires are supposed to be all fast and shit, Victoria would have had ample time to grab Bella before Jake gets there. And the vampires have the advantage in the water, so Jake shouldn’t have scared her off right? Confusing.

    • I think that she was suppose to be a lot farther away than they made her look…maybe? But you are right it doesnt really make sense…they should have showed her right before Jake grabbed her otherwise she shouls have had enough time to grab her. Maybe the vampires are slower in the water?

      • I was recently thinking about this scene and wondering if they have to swim. Do vampires retain bouyancy or can they walk on the ocean/lake floor if they wanted to?
        In the book, I sort of imagined her running across the top of the water. And in BD, when Alice and Jasper disappear into the ocean, I pictured them just walking along the bottom, not swimming.

  43. Ok, I am a new comer so I have no idea if this has been discussed before but this is my BIGGEST annoyance with New Moon. At the end when Bella and Edward are speaking with Jacob….she asks Edward to read his mind to make sure he wont hurt her….WTF is that all about?? Please some one tell me that they dont understant wtf they would put that line in there…please… Is it just me or would Bella never say that???? Why did Step aprrove this???

    • Edward is really overprotective so to give him some reassurance that Jacob won’t hurt her, she tells him to ‘read his mind’ and understand for himself that Jacob is not a threat to her. What’s funny though, is B walks away soon after telling him that, like she was partly annoyed that she even had to ask him to read Jacobs mind.

      • oooh ok that makes more sense….It seemed to me that she was scared of Jacob and wanted to make sure he would not hurt her. I was like really??? Bella would NEVER say that…

        • Because in the movie she actually does ask it as a question, so it’s like – why??

    • IKR? What makes me cringe at that part (even when not watching with anyone else) is Edward doesn’t even give her a response – not even a look – before Bella then spins to go walk over to Jacob. Even moreso, why the heck would Bella at that point even ask Edward if Jake would harm her? Jake had saved her emo life at least 3 times by that point. Even Edward knew enough to first thank him before discussing anything else in that scene. Why would Bella insult Jake by asking right in front of him to have Edward read her ‘bff’s mind for her, knowing full well Jake hates Edward getting inside his head. Jake’s just looking at her as she says it, and I like to imagine him saying, “I’m standing right here, and if I wanted you to get hurt, I would have left you alone to do water ballet with Victoria last week.”

      • I know I freaking hate it!! I almost want to cry for Jacob at that point why would you hurt his feelings that much more by asking Edward that AAAAHHH I usually close my eyes and ears at that point and pretend it didnt happen.

    • Doesn’t she realize that if god forbid, Jake was planning on hurting her, Edward wouldn’t need prompting to read Jake’s mind.

      Jake mauls Bella.
      Bella whines to Edward: “why didn’t you read his mind and stop me?”
      Edward: “You didn’t ask me to. I can’t read YOUR mind. Sheesh Bella.”

      • I’m about to pee in my pants at this comment. Too funny.

  44. We know what Carlisle and Esme gave Bella for her birthday because we read the book.
    But in the movie they never said what her gift was.
    Alice hands the mystery gift to her and Esme says, “You’ve been looking a little pale lately.” And then papercut…

    Is it a gift certificate to “Hollywood Tan?”

    • Maybe they will go back and say what it was in Eclipse because the trailer shows that they do go visit her mom so they should say that right?? But they probably wont….they will just leave that detail to hang.

  45. Ok when you say the “hand holding scene” in the volturi hallway do you mean the part where Bella has a nervous breakdown right after she sees all the people that are about to be meals?? If so, I was way dissapointed that that was not in the movie also…I would have loved to see Kristen go to pieces like that!

    I do love Kristen as an actress but is it ironic that Bella is my least favorite role for her that she had done?? I mean I love Bella but Kristen plays her a bit too “hip” if you know what I mean. To me Bella seemed to be more clueless than she played her. I love Kristen in all her other movies though before she got so famous! I hope she goes back to obscure indie films.

    • no i mean when there is all this sexual tension as he pulls her close.. kisses her hand…. holds her while they’re walking… it’s New Moon’s LEG HITCH!

      • oh yes definitley that would have been amazing in the movie!!

  46. THe “what a marshmellow” line is actually in the book, so that’s mah gurl Stephs lame jargon. i know that cause i did a project and made “NEWTON’S MOVIE VOMIT!” with marshmellows after i read NM again. fun fact :D

    • love this! love you! (am drunk shhhh, don’t tell anyone)

  47. Oh, New Moon–so deliciously campy and hilarious with a year’s worth of LTT inside jokes and commentary in anticipation of it. As a stand-alone film however–especially in the company of the unconverted or even just mildly converted–totally awkward. Because I am a twi-masochist and had to read EVERY review of the movie, I am still completely baffled by how many “clever critics” needed to point out as a (usually lone) positive that “at least Melissa Rosenberg’s dialogue was a vast improvement over the source material.” WHAT!!!! There are so many awkward LOONG pauses in the movie and ridiculous sound-bite dialogue exchanges between the characters. What I LOVED about the books is Edward/Bella and even Jacob/Bella banter. There was so much verbal sexual tension and so many great conversations that would have worked well in movie form to ACTUALLY show that Edward and Bella loved each other. Instead we got a lot of barely audible muttering and excessive non-verbal angst.
    But thanks to LTT and those glorious months of anticipation (“sometimes better than the kiss itself”) New Moon will always hold a special place on my DVD shelf.

    • THANK YOU!!! I totally feel you. That wonderful banter between the characters is where the real development is. But unfortunatley hollywood usually ruins stories in that way. The development of the characters is where they make the sacrifice. It was even worse in Twilight they went from death glare to i’m in love with you way too quick….

    • Fan-flipping-tastic comment!

      Love this x

  48. I know many love the Months scene… but I sorta kinda hate it. *ducks*

    Love Possibility, the rotation shot, comatose Bella…but why why why???? Did they have to put the months text in the shot? It looked ridiculous when it was clear through the window that the seasons were changing. I mean, I think the audience would have understood that time has passed.

    In Twilight, I also thought Bella having a flashback to the accident before the school trip was stupid. I’m sure the audience would have remembered the accident that happened in the PREVIOUS scene! Urgh…

    Why do I love these movies again?

    • I agree, they should not have put the text in. What I dont get in Twilight(maybe someone can enlighten me) is when they are leaving the police station and they see the body and then Bella has flashbacks……I just dont get it.

      • the text never bothered me! but now you mention it, the text is kinda obsolete huh…

        The flashbacks at the police station, I always saw it as…. Buttcrack Santa’s dead foot or hand or whatever it is poking out under the sheet, which is white and corpse-like… much like the cold white skin of our dear sparkly Edward (which she’s remembering through the flashback of the accident, touching his skin in the car etc). It’s another piece of the puzzle slotting in. She then heads home, looks in her little book (which by the way she never took with her out of Edwards car but that’s an editing issue), and the final puzzle pieces come together.

        Isn’t the next morning when she then goes to school and SAYS IT OUT LOUD?

    • you’re right- this time through was the FIRST time the months text bothered me…. they didnt need to do that…..it was so un-movie like. i bet that was a last minute addition from either summit or Steph.

      I’ll ask her.

      ( no i won’t. I just wanted to say that. )

      • Hahaha! Love it!

        Keep reveling in your good fortune! ;)

    • I hate that her eyebrows are so well-groomed in this scence, no one that depressed has such perfect brows, especially Bella.

    • I liked the text! Sure it was slightly cheesy, but I loved the homage to that part of the books, which I thought was clever when I first read the series. I guess I am a sucker for gimmicks like that. I have a marketing background … that could be why.

    • i think that showing bella wearing different clothes (not the same ones) on each rotation would also have helped show the passing of the months (unless they want us to think that she literally sat there and didnt move, didnt get changed for that whole time??)

  49. Haha i’m glad other people noticed the ‘you’re lying to everyone… charlie…’ quote!
    One thing i didn’t get was when Bella said, you can’t hurt eachother without hurting me.. edward could have blatantly used his vampire speed and zipped around her to kick jacob’s butt!
    Aah there’s too many things to pick at in the film for me to even get started. I completely agree with all the ones on here though :)
    Love the books but the films definitely came across as cheese-tastic!

    • Plus isn’t it a bit ooc of edward to let Bella near jacob? Isn’t this rivalry what starts the love triangle in eclipse, i.e. Bella having to sneak off to see jacob? Edward sees jake as dangerous so doesn’t let Bella near him!

    • I think she’s talking mental pain, not physical pain…

      • Yes, she really doesn’t need to add more mental pain. Maybe Edward not being able to read her thoughts is actually a form of unconcious self protection.

        • have you read the books?

          • Mmmm, maybe should have written last comment in sarcasm font. Never can find it when I need it.

  50. it’s always bothered me that the scene the flashback to in new moon is right when jacob is on the beach with bella and of all the possible lines they could have taken, they use the “scary story” one with taylor’s voice cracking!

    • Ok. I’m trying to remember but my brain is not working….what “scary story” one?

      • In twilight when B+J walk on the beach, and J says “it’s really just an old scary story”

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