Open Weekend Post: Inspired by stuff I find when I’m not trying

Dear LTTers,

While I’m just perusing the interwebs, researching for my latest letter, looking for pretty pictures of Edward & Bella to go with my latest post, I come across shit I wish I didn’t have to see.

Today I decided I’ve had enough. You have to see it as well:

And I’ll leave us with that. Because we HAVE to discuss…. is that Alice telling Renesmee an old fairytale about her and Jasper? Or is Jacob copping a feel??

Going to take a shower,
UnintendedChoice

All the beautiful images were found by googling “Breaking Dawn,” but I don’t suggest you try it

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48 Responses

  1. Oh.My.Gosh. Need to get images out of head. Now.

    • Haha, second that…

  2. Its either Alice or the absolute worse caricature of Jacob EVER.

    • Loving Jacob in the off-the-shoulder number! he he he

  3. seriously they should just stop after eclipse. or the wedding. or maybe isle of esme……without the fade to black

    best of luck bill condon!!

    • He is a brave, brave man. I’m casting him a pity vote right now.

    • Yes, yes, yes. A thousand times yes.

    • seriously… that movie is unfilmable… I do wish him the best though.

  4. MY EYES MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!

    Is Bella channelling Chris Hansen in the Meadow/Woods?

    Why is Taylor’s cartoon character wearing an off the shoulder boatneck? I’m sure that’s his workout sweatshirt, I totes had one like that, in the 80’s. I bet Rob saw it at the thrift store and immediately thought it would showcase Tay’s muscles.

    FML – these are going to be burned in my head.

  5. These are horrible!! Are these “created” by people who hate twilight or people who love it too much? Although the redneck cullens made me laugh. Gross. Just gross.

    • good name!

      ya that one is the funniest have to wonder about the fandom sometimes!

  6. My mind, it refuses to comprehend this.

    I really hope the actors don’t look at this stuff. If I were them and saw this I would be freaked. Out.

  7. OMFG. Those last two ‘images’ killed me. I seriously had to fight the gag reflex. SO many reasons….just WRONG WRONG WRONG.

    That Breaking Dawn pregnancy shot… I could seriously walk out the door in my neighbourhood and see that exact thing on a day-to-day basis…but with Rob’s face in the photo… there are many faces to Rob but thankfully ‘trailer-park Rob’ is not one of them!

    Is it wrong that the cartoon picture collection of Jacob being all pissy and then picking up baby whilst Bella is all dead in the background made me laugh. Ok yes, it’s probably really bad of me.

    • I thought that one was hilarious! It illustrates the wtf-ness of the situation perfectly.

  8. Wow, I had to go back and study some of those because my brain wasn’t registering whatever all that is. Happy weekend indeed…

  9. MY EYES MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!

    Is Bella channelling Chris Hansen in the Meadow/Woods?

    Why is Taylor’s cartoon character wearing an off the shoulder boatneck? I’m sure that’s his workout sweatshirt, I totes had one like that, in the 80′s. I bet Rob saw it at the thrift store and immediately thought it would showcase Tay’s muscles.

    FML – these are going to be burned in my head.

  10. The bottom one has girl breasts & a short skirt. I think it’s Alice. It’s always hard to tell when you let the children play with paintshop…

    Seriously, these pics should be marketed as a diet aid, because my appetite is gone.

  11. *whispers* I kinda like the first one…

    • That would be because of the attention to the lighting yes?…No, enough said.

      I like no.4 ‘Three Psychos and the Prom’.

    • Is that a girl or a boy? Awfully long muscular legs and flat chest for a girl . . .

      • Umm.. I wasn’t really paying attention to the Stew. ;)

    • I kinda like the first one, too but mostly I want those clothes…and the wet thing works…for me.

      • Which wet thing? ;)

    • That’s one thorough dryhump they’re going for.

  12. I had to look closer at the third one–
    Rob’s head looks tiny, and what are those red blobs all over the bed? Are they supposed to be rose petals? It looks more like Bella’s been bitten on the neck and left little puddles of blood all over as they rolled around. Eww.

  13. And the trailer park couple–the girl looks suspiciously like AmanDUH, not Kristen. Wait, though, I take that back. Whoever made that has a sense of humor, and AmanDUH definitely doesn’t have one.

    • It is AmanDUH and she isn’t trying to be funny.

    • Yeah, I have to hand it to the maker of the redneck E/B. At least they know it’s a joke… I hope.

  14. Not sure why, but the third one cracked me up. Disproportion aside, Rob’s arms… are not that muscular.

  15. Egad! That which has been seen cannot be unseen!! AHHHHHH!

    I do thank you for subjecting yourself to this every day to bring us LTT…

    Please pass the eyebleach.

    And yeah, what the heck is up with that last one? That’s Alice? Jacob? Bella? What? Why?

  16. It’s like a car crash…I can’t look away…

  17. Why oh why did I look at those before going to bed. I think I need eye/brain bleach.
    I must admit, the red-neck Cullens picture is quite amusing.
    Some people have way too much time on their hands.

  18. I was having a strange feeling when I looked at the pics…
    Nonetheless I liked the 3rd one…
    RobMs smile looked nice…
    As far as the rest… like lapushbaby said
    Bring out the eyebleach…

  19. You shouldn’t have said NOT to google. I just can’t help myself, when people tell me not to do something, what do I do? I do it. Ohmygoodness. Some images just should not be allowed. I think that last one has got to be a bad representation of Alice…let’s hope. That first pic of “Edward” and “Bella” is hothothot. I also like the photo manip of “Bella” holding hands with the two men she can’t live without. It’s pretty perfect.

  20. I’m looking at these on the tiny screen of my BlackBerry and not my desktop – thank God! I can’t read all the text which is probably a good thing, but I have to say the last one is killing me with that quote mark left hanging. Close the quote, close the GD quote! (Any other grammar snobs out there? I can’t be alone.)

    Robward’s arms in #3? Yes please, more of that! I think this is what bugged me about the New Moon movie – scrawny Edward just ruins it for me.

    • Really? I *heart* scrawny muscled Rob :P

      I don’t know which line of thought on the last cartoon is better… is it meant to be JB or Alice?

      If it’s JB, I’m still grossed out because I never could get my head around him wanting to be with his former love’s DAUGHTER.

      Meanwhile, if it’s meant to be Alice…. He/she has their hand on the underside of Reneesme’s “boob”. In which version of the Saga did it ever become lesbian kiddi-porn? *L*

      Someone said it right earlier… some KIDS should never be allowed near ‘Paint’ ever again!

      • Scrawny or slightly flabby Rob OK by me!

      • “Really? I *heart* scrawny muscled Rob”

        yum …
        +1

  21. I think I threw up a little in my mouth – yuk!

  22. Where’s the brain bleach? I want that crap out of my NOW!!! Defs 2nd-hand embarrassment going on here.

  23. Upon close inspection I suspect the last one is supposed to be Alice. She has paler skin than Renesmee and the quote is hers from her story of meeting Jasper. But it’s gawd-awful hideous nonetheless. And she’s copping a feel of the baby/toddler/small adult freak with the distorted face and bronze (?) hair.

    Gag!

  24. I just Google imaged Breaking Dawn, because, you know, you said not to….
    and I have lost all hope in humanity.
    Time to go to Pandora. Or Tatooine. Or something. Have the jawa invented fan art?

  25. oooh dear lord… Redneckward and Welfarella For Life!

  26. 1. You should probably never tell me to not do something. Because I’ll end up doing it.

    2. Will I ever get tired of seeing awkward pregnant pictures of KStew?? Probably not. Especially when it involves her wearing short jorts and Edward looks like that.

    3. Rennessmeee looks manish in that last one. And whoever else that is is definitely feeling her up. Get Chris Hansen on that business.

  27. After this post.. I just want to say it was wonderful knowing all of you… I have elected to have a full labotomy because the brain bleaching they tried did not work and it is the only way I can have those images removed from my brain. The unfortunate side effects of this procedure are.. well I will be a drooling lump of nothingness… but at least those images will be gone.. I think it’s a fair trade…….

    OMGWTF are people thinking? SERIOUSLY?

  28. i’m crying and laughing and i can’t believe you have to trawl this this shiz to give us our daily blog. You sure do sacrafice for us.
    I feel for you..**sniff** its tough!
    pls pass the brain bleach. :-)

  29. While talking about sick stuff…
    I found this video, and my mind instantly went to Renesmee.

    • Ewwww…..Renesmee looks all kinds of creeptastic…hope Condon doesn’t turn to google for inspiration!!!

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