The Rave goes back into business & jumps on the Twilight band wagon

In order to best understand today’s very random letter, think about a cheesy teen store that sold cheap prom dresses in the 90’s. Got one in mind? Okay, THAT’s who I’m writing to today…. ready…. set…READ:

Dear The Rave/The Deb/Mandee/Claire’s Jewelry and all The 90’s versions of Forever 21 and H&M,

I’ve missed you. When I was 13 and thought it was cool to wear over-sized men’s Adidas t-shirts, you were always there for me. And when I was given a $50 budget maximum for my dress to the winter semi-formal of December 1998, you were the perfect place to find a sparkley, pink, thick strapped evening gown that would satisfy my dad’s requirement of modesty AND still leave me with $4.99 to stop on over at After Thought’s for a crazy blinged out necklace/ring/bracelet combo that would lose a gem 5 minutes after I walked into the jr. high gym.

The 90's can kiss my sexy ass

The reason I’m writing is because I saw your recent ad campaign with Nikki Reed. Beautiful choice, going with a Twilight star. Verizon is doing it. Anti-smoking campaigns are doing it. Hot Topic did it and now you are using Twilight to further your marketing goals and sell your formal dresses so glitzy that Miley Cyrus even passed up carrying the line for Wal-mart.

I look forward to being able to participate in “one stop shopping” when I stop in some night after work to pick up a babydoll dress to pair with an over-sized blazer and chunky platform, square-toed shoes and ALSO pick up the latest Twilight merchandise. Will you have a ying yang necklace with Bella & Jacob’s pictures on the back?

Clicky for maximum LOLs

Great thinking putting Nikki in that dress. I’m not sure exactly the vibe I get but I know it’s somewhere between having a margarita made in your mouth at Senor Frogs in Cancun and losing your virginity in the back of Tommy Crestler’s ’93 camero on the night of senior prom. Good job with the styling! Are the shoes from Charlotte Russe’s 2 pair for $15 line? I love a good deal on a pair of shoes you can wear for and entire 4 hours before the heel snaps off.

In a world where Twilight stars like Ashley Greene are featured in ad campaigns for SOBE in Sports Illustrated, and Anna Kendrick is nominated for an Oscar and smiling on the pages of every major magazine on the shelves along with Kristen Stewart who is getting a solo Vogue cover, it’s nice to see Nikki Reed keeping it real in clothing us ‘little people’ could have afforded in 1997 can afford after getting a make over at the Clinique counter right before scrunching her hair with a little “LA Looks” mousse. If someone like Nikki can go from a (rumored) hook up with Rob Pattinson to doing ads for what I can only assume are discontinued stores from the 1990s, then there’s hope for all of us to go from our little unimportant lives to a future (rumored) hook up with Rob Pattinson.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

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132 Responses

  1. These pictures..
    How did her management allow these??

    That said, “Bella and Jacob: the original yin and yang.”
    Brilliant!

    • Yes – if Claire’s or The Icing (is that still around?) were smart, they would jump on that Yin & Yang necklace stat! Stat means now! I would sport that – under a high-necked shirt of course, and with my face replacing Bella’s and I would write “True Love” in puff paint.

      • The mall by where I go to school has not one but TWO Claire’s AND an Icing.

        • 2 Claire’s?! Does only one offer ear piercing?

  2. Sadly, we no longer have a Rave here. We are high class and got a Wet Seal instead.

    • Uh, I totally bought a cropped “leather” bomber jacket from the Wet Seal sale rack very, very recently! Yet another secret Twilight has forced me to admit!

      • Don’t be ashamed of your Wet Seal purchase! I bought a shirt from Wet Seal for the New Moon premiere… It said “Team Vampire”… oh facepalm.

  3. Is that dress tie-dyed? *shudders*

  4. Do you think she got one of those friendship necklaces that was 2 necklaces that fit together and gave the other half to Cathy Hardy? BFFs!

  5. I am embarrassed to admit that sadly, I partied at Senor Frog’s in Cancun, decked out head-to-toe in my gear from Claire’s.

    *face palm*

    • Um, you rule for that.
      ;-)

  6. *cough-cough* ahem, i used to LOVE me some Afterthoughts… really… i graduated from Claires to Afterthoughts (a more mature look, you have to understand… more edgy) Ha-ha! it’s funny b/c it’s true…
    ahh, the 90’s… i knew you when…

    • I too did the Claire’s to Afterthoughts upgrade. It’s def. a more mature look… it’s a Limited Too to 5-7-9 upgrade.

  7. First thought: Holy Sideboob, Batman!

    Second thought: Those gold bangles look ridiculous with that sarong, er… “dress.” Let’s assume they are from Claires. You and I both know the “gold” is going flake off of them at the points where they touch the skin in a matters of hours anyway.

    • hahaha, sideboob.

      Not only is the gold going to flake, her wrist is gunna turn green.

      • ooo, I had a mood ring that did that!!

        • So did I. Um, the ring is supposed to change color with my mood, my finger isn’t supposed to change color to suit the rings mood.

          • Once I was in a cheap dollar store (dont ask why) and I tried on a mood ring, but it wouldn’t come off. And so I stuffed my hand in my pocket and left the store. The damned ring didn’t come off for 3 Months!!!!

          • That’s like LOTR right there… did you hear voices and become invisible?

          • @TeamSeth

            If Only! That would have been wickeddd!

        • does that mean your emotional state was always “good” (cuz what is green?….green is good people!)

  8. What? Using LA Looks mousse isn’t cool anymore? Wearing 10 for $10 mix-n-match jewelry isn’t acceptable when you’re over 19? Having 16 pairs of shoes from Charlotte Russe that are all peeling away/frayed/missing gemstones makes me “juvenile?”
    *huffs and puffs*
    I don’t see what the problem is. I see nothing wrong with my backless polyester/spandex blend sequinned leopard print shirt….

    (PS: this is total sarcasm)

    • You look smok’n, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
      *teases bangs and sprays them a foot above head to stick that way*

      lol

      • Ooh, honey….if you’re doing you’re bangs like that you need to come over.

        (I can never get mine to stay, so I’m hoping maybe you’ll show me how?)

  9. “scrunching her hair with a little “LA Looks” mousse” made me think of “stu-stu-stu-studio line from Lo-re-al!” I guess I’m just THAT old ):

    • I remember that line too. Hey, can I borrow your cane?

      • HAHA! I used the Mega gel. Once applied, styled and then covered in a layer of AquaNet. The hair did not move.

        • Aquanet! I may or may not be responsible for ozone depletion. Of course these days I’m CFC free. Cuz you know, green is good.

          • Yes and some days I added a banana clip for extra style……

            Green is good! LOL! And purple’s cool

          • Rockin’ the banana clip! We were…I mean are…so purple!

          • worse than the banana clip I had the cone clip. It was so horrendous. but it made your pony tail stand way up. Like oooomagawd!

        • I used ‘DEP’ gel. Does that make me the oldest?

          • Ha! No, I remember that one as well! It was the more economical hair gel option! i think!

          • DEP! Yes! Ah the late 80’s. After lunch, all the girls crowded around the bathroom mirror, DEPping away, Then you put on your zinc pink lipstick, peg your stretch pants that bag at the knee, throw that Guess bag over your shoulder and trip in your jelly shoes on the way to class.

          • I used to think Johnny Depp was responsible for the Dep hair product line…Apparently I couldn’t read…

          • I just have to say that I LOVE this coversation. Dep hair gel, jelly shoes, etc. FTW

            I’m also reminded of wearing Forenza sweaters from the Limited. They had v-neck ones that you could wear on top of a shirt and we used to turn them backwards so the v was in the back.

          • And I’ve love it even more if I’d spelled “conversation” correctly.

          • Ang- Ahhhh, FORENZA!! ….Outback Red, Guess overalls, and the Indiana Jones hat (thanks Molly Ringwald).

            We had the fashionzzzz!

          • I totes remember Forenza! Would you think it was weird if I said I still had the sweatshirt because it was my favorite? I had one of those v-neck sweaters too, and I did wear it backwards for added sexiness.

            Panama Jack tshirts….

          • How about high top reeboks (the ones with the velcro around the ankles)? And sebegos (sp?). We didn’t tie the laces in bows though. Twist-tied them at the top on each side instead. Ah…good times.

          • DJTanner, I did too. Johnny Depp was responsible for EVERYTHING good in my little world back then.

        • AquaNet gave the best “bang wall”.

          • At first I thought this was some weird sex reference! Sorry, when I hear “bang” I think of Rob.

          • “Sorry, when I hear “bang” I think of Rob.”

            That’s Normal.

          • I know… right!

      • Excuse me, I use a walker. I’m too cool for canes.

        • (that was meant in response to Ang’s comment about the cane way up above)

        • haha! Does your walker have tennis balls on the legs?

  10. Wow. I haven’t thought of Rave in a long, long time. But now I’m sad to say that I have a very clear picture in my head of me circa late 80s/early 90s. I think I need some brain bleach.

    • brain bleach= “sun in”. Remember that fab hair dye?

      • Yes! I couldn’t use Sun In because I have dark hair. But my blond sis used it.

        • Oh Ang, you believed the bottle when it clearly read, “Do not use on dark hair”?

          I was so hot with my orange and brown striped, over sprayed hair.

          • Ha! I could not use it either. But I was thinking about it this morning when for some reason I was thinking about old bf’s and that I never liked blond haired boys. Then I remembered I had one boyfriend with blondish/orangish hair because he used Sun-in! The orangish hair was hot…… in the 80s.

        • You’re so obedient.

          • LOL – Actually, years later I had a very, very bad incident trying to achieve red highlights. I ended up with a sort of mahogany/pinkish color. I was older. And it was not cool.

  11. Holy hell…. HAHAHAHAH! Ah-mazing. I walk by Rave every time I go to our local crap mall. Oh and Deb. I feel this creepy pull when I walk by Rave. It’s like my middle school days are trying to pull me back in. I won’t let it happen!

  12. I thought that was a publicity shot from Dancing With The Stars.

    • Naturally!

  13. Aaah. This must be where you but your Kwalitie Klothes in America. Nice. We have New Look, but it sounds at least 25% nicer or maybe 2 for a fiver…

    • New Look sounds super fancy! Like it’s only for the cool kids…

    • That would be BUY clothes. Sheesh Jorts, get with the program.

  14. Wow, poor Nikki must not be getting enough attention for her liking…couldn’t she just hook up with another shipping heir instead of this?
    And, maybe I’m “old fashioned” or been living in the south too long, but isn’t that a little too much leg and boob showing for a 10-15 year old’s store?

  15. Seriously…when I saw these pics on twitter I laughed my ass off. They look like glamour shots or those times you and your friends in 6th grade draped a bed sheet over the couch, put on your best Deb and Claires, and took pictures with your disposable camera. (Please tell me I’m not the only dork that did that).

    I mean I know she’s not very well known but she was still in two big movies and those clothes are sooo outdated. Why did her people do that? Maybe Cathy took them?

    • There’s always that one friend who’s so good at teasing your hair and doing your makeup.

      I thought I looked so gor-geous when she was done with me. LOL. Whatever happened to those pics? *shudder*

      • oh, delete. *headdesk*

    • There’s always that one friend who’s so good at teasing your hair and doing your makeup.

      I thought I looked so gor-geous when she was done with me. LOL. Whatever happened to those pics? *shudder*

    • We were fans of the “before and after” look- making ourselves up badly and then “well” afterward. But yes, Claire’s featured heavily.

  16. The thing is, I actually think that somewhere in there, Nikki is very very pretty. Hot, even. Why does she do this to herself? She is really talented at de-hotting herself.

    As Nina Garcia would say (in her pinched nasal-y voice) “We are just very concerned about your taste level. It has to be IN you, it cannot be taught.”

    • I agree. I think Nikki is actually very beautiful. But somehow, she always comes out looking a bit like a porn star. I don’t get it.

    • lololol I sooo could hear Nina Garcia’s voice when reading that line

      • I had more to that comment before I was rudely interrupted by work earlier.

        As I was going to say, Nikki is very naturally beautiful, and one of those girls who looks better without all of the makeup/sparkles/colors/fluff/etc. Which is a good thing. I think she’d look amazing if she toned down her outfits a bit, made them a bit more conservative, so her natural beauty could actually have a chance to show through.

    • She is beautiful. The pressure of playing Rosalie Hale, goddess on earth, is getting to her. As is the fact that she is constantly being upstaged by that one who plays Alice and that other one with the mullet. These things will drive a girl to commit desperate acts.

  17. I think Nikki is a beautiful person, but these photos have to be airbrushed or her nipple is really off center. I mean look at the one photo! She is showing a lot of boob there!

    • Well spotted! You must have been looking at her boob for a long time before noticing that!
      ;)

      Joking

      • Now that I’ve gone back to look at the picture and see about the wonkiness, I’m really confused about the dress itself. Is it a halter top or does it just drape around the back of her neck?

      • Not to long…I swear! There is a boobage there. It didn’t take long to realize that it looked like something was missing or at least wasn’t where is should have been.
        I am going to agree with absolutelyvic* and say it’s the “wonkynippleitis”.

        *see comment below

    • maybe wonkynippleitis is a side effect from drinking the water on location while they were filming New Moon. (hello Rob’s wonky left nipple)

      • Theres a possibility…
        ;)

      • You might be on to sometime there. Each time I watch that scene I can’t figure out what is wrong there. Is it hairier than the right one or lower than the right one? Guess we’ll get a chance for closer examination during Remember Me. Unless they keep it cleverly covered up some how.

  18. RIP 90s… are Claire’s stores still around? That’s where I got my ears pierced in 1st grade. *Random off topic rambling and musings* I grew up in a small town so we weren’t cool enough for Forever 21 but we did have a Deb, Express, and Bath and Body works. I couldn’t believe it when Forever 21 recently opened up in Montreal (where I now live.) This is a really fashion-forward, classy city… 7th graders have Louis Vuitton bags and wear European Jeans and leather jackets and ppl here turn up their noses at Old Navy and drove Marks + Spencer out of town a few years back in favor of the Spanish chain Zara, but suddenly everyone of all ages is rushing to this “new place called Forever 21″, not knowing that those of us “les americains” in the city are snickering at the fact that 30 year olds are gushing over Forever 21, which to us is an emblem of junior high cheapo fashion.

    Meanwhile Nikki’s getup is giving me a craving for Happy Hour Margaritas. Time to go back to the countdown to 5:15pm.

  19. We never had those stores in my hometown where I grew up (only H&M, but I guess that could do) – only the other week one store just like that opened up right next to where I work though: I’ve been walking by a window filled with sequined dresses, slinky materials and hot pink tie-around-the-neck evening gowns…the works.

    So, maybe now I should make up for things I missed out on in my teens and buy a new dress? *blink blink* See if THAT’S the missing link separating me from my future hook-up with HHH…? (somehow, my instincts are screaming NOOOOO – but they could be wrong.)

    • HHH clearly prefers girls in plaid, so I don’t think the sequin dress will matter much.

      On the other hand, I vote for the sequin dress. Because it’s more fun and at least you’ll look hawt when trying to grab HHH’s attention and if all else fails you might catch another Twilight boy. At the very least, the sequins will reflect the light from all of the papz’ flashbulbs and make you look all glowy…

  20. Wow just wow. But I swear that there is still a Rave in our mall, and a Claires, and a Deb Shop (which went in in the last 5 years). Sadly there is no longer an Afterthoughts. I miss that place because when I was oh so much younger that is where I got my Cartilage pierced as well as half way up my ear.

  21. I grew up/ live in the land of malls. There are 8 malls within a half hour radius of my house. Yet, I had a mother who sewed. Need I say more?

    I had handmade fingerless lace gloves for my sophomore homecoming. Alice would be jealous.

    • I am jealous of those gloves! I know for a fact my sophomore year I wore one of the aforementioned “diamond” necklace and bracelet combos that fell apart with every step I took. I also fashined a bra out of duct tape and slowdanced to TLC Waterfalls.

      • Aha, when the diamond necklace chipped off, did it leave little sparkles on your skin? A bonus. Damn, Waterfalls would be hard to dance to.

        Yes, the duct tape, the strapless dress- but-still-need-cleavage-boob-solution.Did that too. My sorority sister was a pagent girl and she told us about the duct tape method. However, she failed to mention that you are supposed to de-stick the tape, by putting it on fabric, before you use it. Oh the pain. LIke, 40 year old virgin getting waxed pain.

        • HAHAHA! Well, fortunately my mother is a nurse and had lots of medical guaze on hand, which I cut into little squares and places them appropriately as to avoid de-nipple-ization.

          • Duct tape would never have been enough for my ladies. Thank Goodness strapless dresses have never even entered my tiny mind.

      • I started singing “Every step I take, every move I make…” (the Fugees/puff daddy version), until I finished your comment and got a little over the top excited about the TLC reference. RIP Lisa Lopes.

  22. The similarities between me and Nikki Reed are more and more evident every day…

    She’s just way hotter.

    What a sad little existence I live.

    • “She’s just way hotter.”

      I refuse to believe that. All the girls here are hotties. I hear UC and Moon make girls send in photos to be approved. True story. I read it in The Sun.

      • You heard right. I was a nervous wreck, I thought I wasn’t going to make the cut, my blood pressure was dangerously high until I got the “ok” ;)

        • Dude, I sent in a pic of Rob in a dress. I snuck in under the radar.

          • My cup size sealed the deal. I know they like the boobies. I’m hoping that has a double meaning.

          • *sighs annoyed at self*
            Why didn’t I think of that?! Rob would be super hot in a dress. I need to learn from you.

          • I just sent in The Tuck and said it was me. WIN!

    • Ewwwwwwwwww. Not true! Hawt Librarian > Ice Dance Reject, anyday!

      PS I would never dryhump NReed. Not even with a Mantis Full-body Condom.

  23. This dress looks more tore up than Bella’s ice blue satin cocktail dress she wears on her first hunting trip.

    Can we please talk about the self esteem crusher that was the 5-7-9 store?!?!?!? Man I hated those! Especially if you were shopping and you were the only one who wasn’t a 5, 7, or 9. I think those stores were responsible for my obsessive calorie counting in high school!

    Poor Nikki – I remember when she was Sadie on the OC and I thought she was so pretty and natural, and then she was Rosalie-ed and I have never seen her in the same light ever since!

    • Or was is 3-5-7? I can’t remember now! Nowadays it’s probably -3, -1, 1.

      • You were right, it was 5-7-9. Too funny! I remember that store! Ah, memories…

      • LOL- it’s totally -3,-1,1 now!

  24. You know. Nikki had to rock the 90’s tie-dyed dress because it’s the dressy side of the 90’s look. Kristin and Rob rock the 90’s grunge flannels. She’s got to dress it up a bit. She plays the classy vamp, she’s got to play the classy version of the 90s

    LMAO

    I remember going to Deb in the 90s. I remember getting a cheap, thin beach towel with a purchase back when I was like 12 or something. I thought it was GREAT

    • Good point! Now who is going to rep for the 90s Hip-hop scene? Probably Kellan. Oh, Kellan. Just, you know, don’t wear clothes, I think that would be just fine with everyone…

      • Kellen in JAMS.

        • Win! Win! Win! Win! Oh. My. Gosh! I have not thought of JAMS in a long time! Kind of like capris for men, only bigger. Man-pris.

          • “shants”

            – Kevin Smith style,

            Ha ha, man-pris = Ryan Seacrest style. You are so from CA, DJ!! ;)

          • Shants…that should have been everyone’s first clue – you “shant” wear these!

      • Kellan can sport Zubas (or whatever those zebra printed, parachute pant things were MC Hammer wore). Kellan could ROCK those

  25. I was wondering when you guys would say somthing about this shoot. Its literally the worst photo shoot of any celeb since the rob zygote shoot. Her makeup is horrible. Good god someone give her makeup artist a color wheel! So crazy she’s such a pretty girl but come tothink of it her makeup never looks good in photoshoots that is one thing kstew has going for her her makeup looks bomb in every shoot. Anyways I would be happy to replace whatever bff nikki is allowing to do her face for these shoots.

  26. NICE….I don’t even know what I can do with this letter. Geez.

  27. Fabuli. Just spectacularrr.

    Nothing more.

  28. I am jumping in late but as far as Nikki is concerned and coming from one who knows from experience..I think she is one french fry short of a Happy Meal. I mean all the interviews I have seen her in she is just ummm…you get the drift right? Maybe thats why she doesn’t even realize that these photo’s are not good for her image and not at all flattering. You know I hate to say negative things about anyone so I will end on a positive note..she is nicer than Rosalie… :) Happy Friday!

    • MidCyn – Nice positive note ending! Happy Friday to you too.

      • Hope your having a great day and that your weather is better than ours..Imma gonna need a boat soon!!!

        • No boats needed here! Stay dry.

        • :( Forks weather here in the PacNW. (lapushbaby, i’m finally back home!)

          • Hey TS..you must be thrilled to be home ;)!! Its worse than Forks here…we need boats! Drop me an email and tell me how your doin!!

          • So weird. I was just thinking earlier today “hmmm, I wonder if TeamSeth has gone home yet?” Whoa. what.is.going.on?

          • @Ang..bet she is gonna miss those warm Sunny Florida days, but well worth it to be back in Twiland! Even I would live there JUST b/c of the connections to Twilight..that is SO pathetic..but true! ;)

          • Welcome back! Sorry about the rain….

    • “she is one french fry short of a Happy Meal”

      Hahahahh! I love that. :D

      • I know! I’m totally going to start using it. Thanks MidCyn.

        • Anytime! TS..anytime! :) Glad to be of service to someone!

    • You’ll have to give me directions to your house in case the turnpike gets washed out. If I can’t make it to the airport tomorrow I just might have to come cry on your couch!

      • Oh JodieO..your always welcome!! But you’ll be fine!! No crying will be needed!!! You are going to have the bestest time evar!!! Remember I am with you all the way!! :)

        • Next time you’re coming for real!

          • I sure hope so…hey I was thinkin if worse came to worse..which it WON’T you can always DRIVE there…imma just sayin..NUTHIN is gonna stop you!!! ;)

  29. Why am I feeling bad for this girl. It seems to me that she can not quite get it right. I want to see Nikki do something like “Weeds” or “Dexter”. If she wants to be taken seriously, she needs to actually do some acting and not just weird 90’s photoshoots. What is she actually selling?

    Thanks for all the fashion flashbacks that I am trying very hard to forget.

  30. man i used to work at claire’s!

    Did you know you have to wear something from there during your shift?

    I worked during the JLo sunglasses freak – and man can i rock them. :) <3

  31. What happened here? Is Nikki going to be on Dancing With The Stars?!

    …I know, I’m mean. I’ll go sit in the corner now and wait for more snow to fall…

  32. Am I the only one who KNOWS that this godawful excuse for a photoshoot was done in 2007? It’s true. This was done before Twilight and before Nikki was smart.
    Contrary to what UC thinks – She went from this photoshoot to (maybe) banging Rob, and then dating a shipping heir (who may or may not be total douche).
    Nikki R is wiser now, folks …

  33. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by letter2twilight: Remember ur fav store in the 90s to buy a sparkly pink cheap dress? Well, they hired Nikki Reed as their spokeswoman: http://wp.me/pogYm-28r

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