What’s taking Breaking Dawn so long?

Breaking Dawn logoDear Eclipse,

We’re almost at 5 months to the DAY of when Eclipse will be released and we’ve seen nothing but a wide angle picture of a meadow scene. More than 6 months before New Moon came out we had a trailer. Then soon after we had ABS! And JORTS! I’m kinda losing my patience here. What will be the catch phrases of Eclipse? Will we be treated to another 122 minutes off cut off blue denim’s finest? Or will you raise the fashion bar a bit and give us cut off black sweatpants, like Stephenie Meyers originally wrote? All I know is that I should be focused on you and your impending release in 154 days (see, I shouldn’t have had to look that up- I should have KNOWN that number off the top of my head) but I’m not. I’m barely even worried because we have bigger issues to be occupying our minds: Breaking Dawn

Dear Breaking Dawn,

What.The.Freak? I mean, I get waiting until the new year to make some sort of announcement. New Moon’s release was crazy- the numbers were outstanding- then the holidays and hit and Avatar made New Moon’s earnings look like pocket change- but all that is in the past. IT’S JANUARY TWENTY FIFTH. What the H is going on? All we know is what Moon shared with us a few weeks back. Which, to recap, was nothing. It’s all so blurry in my mind I can’t even remember- have we even had CONFIRMATION from you yet that you’re actually going to be made into a feature film? I know the stars are confirming it when they’re asked in interviews, but come on- who believes them? They think everyone lives in a sunny place where catering trucks sell sushi that won’t immediately send you to the emergency room writhing with stomach pain and every day folks can spell “Louboutin” (had to look that one up too). I need the 411 stat (of COURSE this twitter account exists: @BreakingDawn411- that’s like looking for a Robsten video set to “I’ll Make Love to youObviousssss!)

You’re really forcing the wheels in my brain to turn and turn… and figure out for myself why we haven’t heard any news yet. Here is what I’ve come up with:

1. Issues with Stephenie Meyer.

Pancho: Also, babe- write me a love scene with this blonde

And I’m talking something bigger than “Should it be one or two movies?” Cuz that’s easy- flip a gosh darn coin. Problem solved. No, no. I’m thinking if there are issues with Stephenie they are critical. Maybe this time she’s not happy with just a cameo role as a patron in the diner. Maybe she heard the outcry of 40-43% of Twilight fans 10 months ago and said, “Yeah- I agree. I want to recast Bella too. Let’s cast ME” and won’t sign off on the movie until they meet her demands.

Or perhaps there’s an issue within her marriage that’s she’s trying to fix. Maybe Pancho, her husband, finally tired of his wife always being in the spotlight and the focus never being on him, woke up one morning and demanded, “Steph- why does EVERY member of our family have a character named after them, but I do not?” And she gasped, red-faced, “You’re right. I must show the world that I DO love you by re-writing the series with YOUR name as the main character.” So she’s been busy writing about Bella and Pancho. And of course that changes the location of the story, as someone named Pancho would clearly never live in Forks. Instead, Bella and Pancho meet in a heavily wooded area outside of Guadalajara. Pancho has a point. We never think about him. He’s never gotten his own letter. He’s Mexican right? (His name IS Pancho). We did a whole bit about a mexican Twilight character- Tequila Tomas. We didn’t even think of Steph’s poor hubby. Why didn’t Patrón Pancho come to mind? Poor guy….

Find out what else is holding up Breaking Dawn after the jump!

2. Issues with negations with the cast

I want out of this wig and into those shades

This is a big one and seems most probable to be causing the delay. The cast has clout now. They can basically name their terms. From what we heard, at the beginning they only signed up for three movies. That means each cast member gets to renegotiate their contracts for the forth. I bet when Taylor found that out he sent his agent and lawyer down to Summit’s offices demanding he be recast as Edward. Of course Summit laughed when they told Rob over tea and biscuits hot pockets and beer in London. Imagine their surprise (and Stephenie Ritz’ dismay) when Rob said, “I’d consider that. Could I get a buy-out similar to Conan’s?”

But think of all the other actors involved in making the Twilight saga. I mean, there’s Jackson aka “I’ve given up my acting career for a life of hotel floors, 15 passenger vans and not showering for 6 days straight” Rathbone. Don’t you think he’s trying pretty damn hard to get the 100 Monkeys cast as “that coven of vampire musicians from Los Angeles?” Plus demanding a story line written in where he gets some mysterious form of vampire cancer and undergoes chemotherapy and loses all his hair. That way, they can’t possibly mess up his wig this time. And Kellan’s lawyer has been trying up the phone lines at Summit negotiating HARD for him to have at least one line that makes him appear to have an IQ above 4. Or for him to end up as the father of Renesmee- PLOT TWIST! It’s cool either way.

(It's okay. I swallowed a little throw-up when I first saw this too)

And you KNOW there’s some low-level marketing employee at Summit who is being paraded all over the office for coming up with the “Pregnancy Campaign.” Just last week Kristen read a draft of her contract which had the following written under the PROMOTIONAL TOUR section:

Actor will agree to wear a prosthetic stomach throughout the entire Hot Topic Mall Tour. Actor will feign back pain, make jokes about how cute elastic-waistband jeans look with the latest “I don’t give a shit- I found this shirt in the back of a storage closet at the thrift store” t-shirt and always, at all times, be sipping red liquid through a straw out of a styrofoam cup.

Kristen about had a heart attack, that is until she saw the latest draft of her contract which said:

Actor will actually conceive a child with co-star. Remember what “Robsten” did for Twilight’s success? Imagine what a “Robsten love child” will do for Breaking Dawn. That child will ensure Breaking Dawn will surpass Avatar’s box office numbers”

The low-level marketing employee is getting a raise. Kristen is contemplating suicide.

And last but not least

3. James Cameron can create an entire, believable magical universe where people want to live so badly that they are actually being treated for depression once they come to realization that it doesn’t actually exist, yet he hasn’t yet figured out how to make a believable CGI-Renesmee

I hear you. Making movies is hard work. But that’s why you do it and I just make fun of it. So do it. NOW. So i can make fun of it stat.

Love but not patient,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

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228 Responses

  1. Hijacking the first comment position for a
    Very Important announcement

    If you’ve noticed LTT comment drama recently read this very special announcement from UC & Moon.

    (If you have not noticed drama, don’t waste your time!)

    http://tinyurl.com/y9ez7b5

  2. Wait, you mean Emmett really isn’t ‘special’??

    • “Dating an older woman… hot.”

      • That little exchange between Emmett and Edward in New Moon pretty much confirmed Growing Up Cullen for me. =D

        http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html

        Don’t be so crude, Emmett! xD

        • Hunting trips!

    • Hell yeah!

    • Holly Flax: Emmett, you drive your own car?
      Emmett: Yep. Every day. A Jeep.
      Holly Flax: Wow. I’m so proud of you.
      Emmett: Ok. Bye.

      Emmett (aside): I am totally gonna bang Holly. She is cute and helpful, and she really seems into me.

      • I don’t get it. Who is Holly Flax?

        • It’s from The Office! And it made my freaking day!!

        • Sorry, Jodes. I live in an alternate universe where instead of everything relating to Seinfeld, it relates to The Office.

          • HAHA! I love you. I can relate everything to Seinfeld. Or The Simpsons..

      • OMG I love you and your Office refs!!!

  3. I read about Avatar blues somewhere too. Weird people who get depressed because Pandora doesn’t really exist… I wonder if psychiatrists also had a wave of Twilight depression patients, who were sad once they realized vampires don’t exist.

    • Oh my, Avatar blues? I cannot express how much this disturbs me… going to investigate this now.

    • Is it a play on the color of the Na’vi?

      Anyway, this is sort of a real thing in many sci-fi and fantasy productions. There’s a psych hospital that actually has a nurse on staff who speaks Klingon. I’m willing to wager that in another psych hospital somewhere in the world a nurse who speaks Elvish exists as well.

      So, if you are studying psychology or nursing, think about learning the language of the Na’vi. You’ll have an insta-job!

      • That is so scary, TS.

      • I speak Wookie.

        • I did it all for the Wookie.

          • i love you, fang.

    • Does that mean the Avatar fandom needs a Letters to Pandora blog wherein we die of second hand embarrassment over blue complete-facial tattoos and horrible fan-letters written to fictitious aliens?

      I don’t know … I didn’t go see that movie. I MIGHT Redbox it, MAYBE.

      • Don’t waste your time redboxing. It’s a see in theaters or don’t see at all.

        • Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and rent it. Pardon me for effing with the magic of the big screen.

          PS, you probably should have hyphenated. “See-in-theaters . . .”

          • Right.

            I mean why do they even make DVDs? Who wants to see this shit in their own home?

            What a ridiculous concept.

    • Wait… Vampires don’t exist?! *gasp!*

      • I know! I think I just died a little on the inside…
        Which is totally emo-hip…
        I guess I can go listen to 100 Monkeys now too…

      • Well, I guess I’ll close my window.

        • Don’t do that, you might shut out Peter Pan and then you’ll never get to fly!

          • F*** Peter Pan! I want Edward!!

    • Actually, I was bummed for a while that Forks vampire – werewolf world isn’t real. I even came up with conspiracy theory that it actually does exist and S. Meyer is a part of some kind of Mormon cult that knows all about it and decided to mess with our heads and sell it as some highly creative fiction.. Yeah, that was until I read BD. Then I just thought the lady is effing insane.

      • “Yeah, that was until I read BD. Then I just thought the lady is effing insane”. hahahaha

    • I’m sorry, what?
      Vampire’s DON”T exist?
      What is your problem? What are you trying to do, kill my dreams? Crunch them dead with a stomp of your Prada shoes?

      • I’m actually honored that you think I own Prada shoes. :-) If only.

    • This is some serious shit!!
      People really are all depressed and stuff?? It sooo weird… and still everyone is all like: The Twilight fans are delusional and… wtf??
      I didn’t watch Avatar… simply because the Trailer didn’t really do it for me. It seems like some child movie or smth…

    • Yup, that would be me. I swear, the day I read on NMM.org about the scientific proof that vampires don’t truly *sob* exist, I died a little on the inside…

  4. So throwing up in your mouth a little is normal? Because I just did too, who makes those things???

    Seriously, get on the ball here Summit, the clock is ticking and I’m and impatient fan.

    And I REALLY REALLY want to see something new from Eclipse, wtf, one meadow pic??

    • 1) Seriously. Bile in the morning is much worse than coffee shooting through my nose! Who makes those things?! (oh the same person who made (brace for gag reflex, even though you’ve seen it a million times)this pic.)

      2) Me too! ::long sigh::

      • Yeah, seriously….if you’re gonna make a manip they could at least get the body proportions right or something….wtf? Or just not make them at all!

        • Let’s remember that “manips” are homonyms of “man-nips” and both of these things can pop up and scare the living shit out of you when you least expect it.

        • Oh my… you all make me laugh.

          In the Bella-baby ‘man-nip’… her arms look like they are about a foot short for her head size (That’s what she said). Where did they get a photo of a preggo-midget in a ‘Me-Tarzan-You-Jane’ getup?

      • That’s art, right there.

    • Speaking of “wtf, one meadow pic” I bought that people magazine twilight exclusive a few months ago BECAUSE it said it had an “eclipse exclusive.” Turned out to be that stupid meadow pic. Thanks a lot Summit.

  5. I saw the top half of the pic of kstew and thought “she looks nice there”.
    Then I scrolled down a bit. JESUS CHRIST. I kind of feel bad for kstew, I mean, she has her head photoshopped onto SO MANY pregnant (and/or fat) women.

  6. First of all I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again…”Who the hale knocked up Jane of the Jungle?” It better not have been Edward and his superior tree-climbing skills that won her over cause George will NOT be pleased…
    OMG Maybe thats why there is a delay…cause so many other movies want a mash-up with Breaking Dawn.

    Breaking Dawn and Grease – “I got chiiiillls…they’re multiplying” takes on a whole new meaning in the honeymoon scene.

    Breaking Dawn and Titanic – It wasnt an iceberg…It was Emmett and Rosalie getting freakay in the ocean that did it.

    Breaking Dawn and Dances with Wolves – Edward is the new dance teacher on the rez who must lead the pack to victory in a dance-off so that they can finally afford full-length denims…or better yet…tweed.

    errr…okaaayyy…sometimes my insanity amazes me…
    Morning everybody!
    The hamster’s word of the day is “shun”!

    • “Emmett and Rosalie getting freakay in the ocean.” I’m crying from laughing too hard, IWL!

    • omg ILGWL!!!! You make me laugh so hard!

      “Breaking Dawn and Dances with Wolves” wolve pack dance off!!! It will be like West coast vs East coast! They could use the music from West Side Story!

      • “West Side Story” FTW!

        “I wanna be with that dork Bella…Edward’s a gob I’m a swell fella’…Hotter than hell…he’s a beer chiller…I eat real food…he’s a deer kill-arrrrrr!!!”

        Right…the madness must stop now…lol

        • I feel wolfy, oh so wolfy, I feel chiseled and naked and HOT…

      • Musical knife fight!!!!

    • IWL, this is epic win. crying from laughing so hard.

    • *shuns Taylor Zuko and IllegalFrenchie into dustpan*

      *shuns the rest of LTT into Eclipse mode*

      *shuns Breaking Dawn into existence*

    • It’s amazing you don’t work as a screenwriter for a Hollywood studio…these ideas are about 10 times better than 90% of the movies in theaters right now!

      • Awwwww…Operarose you think too highly of my insanity and I love you for it. But I cannot take on that job for 2 reasons. First of all they wont be able to afford my medication..secondly, they wont be able to afford everybody else’s medication after they watch one of my creations… :)
        <3

    • Shun the non-believer! Shuuuuunnnnnnnnnnn!

      • I have been shunned…I iz sad…

        • I was not shunning you IWL! It’s just that whenever I hear or see the word shun, all I can think of is Charlie the Unicorn.

          It’s totally random, so it’s right up your alley! ;)

          • OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I LOVE IT!!! It’s like you can read my mind!!!
            “We’re going on an adventuuuuuure…an adventuuuure Charlieeee”
            Oh Luludee…you fill me with sweet sugary goodness…I <3 u hard! muah!

    • To continue the Office theme:
      “Shun! No wait, un-shun! Okay, shun!”

      • Ok now I’m just confused…Why does everyone pick on the dorky foreign kid?…lol

  7. I died a little inside when I saw that manip of Kristen. It doesn’t seem fair that, by contrast, Rob get photos made of him writhing on the floor with his hand down his pants, of course, I’m not complaining about that Rob manip…

    I wonder if Breaking Dawn will end up like the classic sequels: Grease 2, Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights, and Dumb and Dumberer? Sequels that aren’t really sequels at all, but entirely recast attempts to cash in on the success of the originals.

    • Wait, that pic of Rob was a manip?!

      • Ironically, it was the body of Henry Cavill.

        • Who is that? Surely he’s not hotter than this guy. And more so, this guy. Clearly not hotter than this guy. Just saying.

          • Clearly not! (Well… actually I think he’s all kinds of hot sauce, but I could never rank them.) Who is BB telling off in that picture? And why do I really want to get him to scold me. Bad Tuesday!

            I have the original pic of Henry Cavill that was used in the manip. (It’s in the Blog folder.) But, I’m sure I’ll fail at trying to link to it. You can google it, though. ;) Henry Cavill was who Stephenie Meyer had in her head for Edward, but alas, he was too old to pass for 17. He’s also on the Tudors (plays Charles Brandon).

          • I would also like to state, for the record, that I did not thumbs down you. Why would someone thumbs down the hotness?

          • he was steph’s original choice for edward. (do i win twi-dork of the day yet?) and he’s gorge.

          • my links didn’t work! here, i’ll try again. they’re too pretty not to.

            mmmmm
            my personal fave

          • haha, a thumbs down for me not knowing who Henry Cavill is. Classic. I did look him up and realize that I thought he was hot in Whatever Works. Plus he was in Counte of Monte Cristo and Midsomer Murders (yeah, I watch that on occassion). So switch your silly thumbs down to a thumbs up. I’ve gotta get my obligation pics in somewhere.

          • ooh! they did switch their thumbs down! :) yay!

            Also, @tuesday: um yeah, he’s smoking hot.
            @EG: If he was cast as Edward, I would be so Team Edward I wouldn’t even know who Taylor Lautner was.

          • i didn’t down you either, jsyk!

          • ooh! they switched back :( So I thumbs upped myself to make up for it.

          • @EG That second pic… *tuesday hyperventilates*

          • I downthumbsed you. No apologies.

          • I don’t want to rank either, but Henry would most likely be in the number 1 spot amongst our fellows for me, simply by default. The default being that I’m a complete sucker for the dark hair, light eyes combination. Said fellows are a magnet for my eyes, and in cases like Henry’s, also function as a bright light, blinding me to the presence of others.

            Dare I say, I “imprint” on them?

          • @Luludee- I too am a sucker for dark hair and light eyes. :)

          • I’m thumbsupping you to try to counteract some of those nasty thumbsdowns.

    • Hey, Tuesday. The girl getting the talkingto from BB is Elisha Cuthbert as “Kim Bower” in season 2 of 24. BB plays an abusive dad. ‘Kim’ is the au pair and tries to get the daughter away from dad.

      • Haha, thanks! Hmm… knowing that he was playing an abusive dad kind of sucks the hotness out of the picture. I’m going to have to reinvent a back story…

        • …and then photoshop myself into the pic… uh… I mean…

          • Um, basically.

    • Hey! Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights is a guilty pleasure… It’s horribly horrible… but still.

      Grease 2 on the otherhand… gag.

    • I actually think this is an awesome idea.. BD being some kind of C non-sequel movie with none of the original cast. Can you imagine the material our gals here would be working with? Brilliance.

    • No, but there will obviously be a tv-series, “Love in the Coven”, with the whole family Cullen-Black, a sitcom, where Jacob irritates the hell out of his future father-in-law Edward, but is the down-to-earth guy that gets all the laughs, while Edward is stuck-up and brooding and has amusing outbursts of temper, while his wife is deadpan and witty and calms him down, and Renesme teases him in a precocious way…oh, gag..
      (I already hate this tv-series, which is why I am sure it will come to be!)

      • I hate it so much, you know it’s gonna happen!

    • Right, like all of those American Pie movies!!!
      Stiffler’s little brother, cousin, neighbor and mailman’s dog’s former owner.

  8. I’m hoping they are lulling us into a false sense of security. There’s silence on the Breaking Dawn front, we are all talking about that, what’s taking so long? How are they going to make Renesmee look real? How are they going to explain away the imprinting thing? What…

    …and then BAM – Eclipse trailer. The return of jorts. Jasper on horseback. Cullen fighting. Robward. Leg Hitch. You just got a pang of excitement right?

    Well… at least that’s what I hope is happening.

  9. So since everyone has already mentioned the picture, and I really have no desire to even think about it again, I’m gonna go with something else.

    I’m losing interest.
    Is it just me?
    I mean, if they gave us a trailer, or hell, even a 30-second teaser, I would be a little more excited. But until I read this post I had almost forgotten about Eclipse. That shouldn’t happen!!

    So yeah. Am I just a bad fan, or are other people feeling this way too?

    • No, you’re not a bad fan! I actually totally forgot that I should be looking forward to Eclipse, too. I’m glad it’s not just me.

    • No it’s not just you! When they leave it this long my fangirly tendancies start to drift to other things…

      BAM Eclipse trailer.

      That’s all we need!!

    • I almost looked at plane tickets for a vacation this summer before I realized that Eclipse comes out and I MUST be home for that!!

      • …obviously you will buy plane tickets and take a vacation in a place where Eclipse is opening with the Twilight cast, and spend a week camping outdoors before the opening to be Right On the Spot when it happens. Right?

      • Yes, I made that a caveat for the family that I nanny for. I’m going on vacation with them, but I said that I needed to go see Eclipse. Luckily, the mom is fan too (not in a creepy twi-mom way though!)

    • I always forget about Eclipse, too! Even David Slade has forgotten about Eclipse… his Twitter location is still listed as “Vancouver in pre-production”.

      Certainly if he remembered Eclipse it would say “Back in LA with my GF and cute little sausage dog working everyday to edit this “Twilight drunk? No, not even drunk. Twilight on acid? No, not even on acid. Twilight at gun point? Just shoot me.” film I signed on to for the money.”

      • I laughed more than was probably necessary at your comment. Thank you for that!

      • I thought it was weird when David Slade promised a New Years treat on his twitter and then couldn’t deliver because of ‘forces out of his control’(or to words of that effect).

        Hmmmm, is there something rotten in the state of Twilight?

    • nope, me too.

      oh, and p.s. i’m pretty sure pancho is a nickname and his real name is christiaan or something. don’t ask how i know this.

      • I think you’re right. Did we read this somewhere? On one of the bookjackets maybe? I dunno either. But I’ve heard that too.

      • Hey I know that too… I think it was on her website. So you aren’t that big of a nerd… I’m right there with ya. ;)

      • I’m glad to hear this because I find Pancho to be an unfortunate name. Each time I cracked open one of the books and read the little dedication, I couldn’t help but picture her husband looking like a fatter, hairier, uglier version of Big Daddy.

    • I’m feeling that way too. And I am wondering why they would want (or let) us to forget about Eclipse, though? Are they just confident enough that millions of girls and their moms are going to flock to the movie that they don’t need to bother marketing it? The New Moon momentum started long before the release but so far there is 0 momentum starting for New Moon.

      And I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but you don’t think there’s any chance they’d postpone the release, do you? Maybe they will want to spread it out since there’s going to inevitably be a long time between Eclipse and BD (if it happens.) Perhaps they want to pace it out a bit better?

      Feeling worried…

      • oops, correction. 0 momentum starting up for Eclipse. See, they’re doing such a bad job marketing it, I’m forgetting which movie is supposed to be coming out.

        *sigh* so far this is not my Monday morning. I can’t seem to function in RL nor comment in LTT life.

        • haha! I didn’t even notice your New Moon error.

          • Really? Imagine my surprise. I thought you caught all the errors. Must be falling down on the job.

      • No way will they delay it. Harry Potter 7a comes out in November. They won’t want to compete with that.

        • Are there any other blockbusters coming out the 4th of July weekend, though, along with Eclipse?

          • I’m sure there are, it’s that weekend after all. But, I think that Eclipse is probably the only one aimed at specifically that twilight/HP audience.

        • Yeah, and the teaser for HP7 is already out there.

      • ..which is the ONLY reason why I haven’t bought any plane tickets to LA. I am sure that would jinx the premiere date. You may thank me later if it really does open on the original date.

        ( And don’t forget to thank me all the days when it doesn’t rain. It means I have been going to work in my wellies and have hot, uncomfortable feet because I thought it was going to rain…)

    • I’m losing interest, too. Also, I’m about to start reading these books about a boy wizard? And he goes to this wizard school or something? Yeah, so, someone better throw something shiny my way fast, or I’m going to wake up all “Twilight who?”

      Oh, and eg’s right, and I don’t think he’s Hispanic at all. Unless every word of that was sarcastic, in which case forget I said anything.

      • *shuns Pizzwizz for even suggesting that shinyness is comparable to awesome magicalness*

      • yay! i’m so happy you’re reading those! (and no, i wasn’t being sarcastic – THEY’RE NOT MEXICANS!)

        • Haha – no, I meant if LTT was being sarcastic!

          • lol oh. i’m slow. sorry.

        • THEY’RE NOT MEXICANS!

          crying from laughing again.

          • Hahahaha, me too! I’m going to work “They’re NOT Mexicans” into a RL conversation today and then giggle when no one knows what I’m talking about.

      • Are you really about to start HP for the first time??? Oh, I love those books somethin’ fierce, happy to discuss any day, have reread them all way more than the Twi books. #dorkalert

        • Ooh ooh! Me too! #dorksquared

          • Love ya!!

            #dorktwins

          • Make that 3 of us…#dorkcubed

        • I AM! Stand by for extended discussion! Better late than never, right?

          • YAY! The Dorks-R-Us book club will now begin!

        • Yep Twilight is currently at about 4-5 readings each. HP… I have no idea how many times I have read each and will continue to re-read pretty much for forever.

          • Twilight was my saviour when I had reread all HP books god knows how many times.

            I know it’s kind of weird, but does anyone else find Snape sexy? I think its all the black clothes (excepting grey underwear) and ‘mystery’.

    • Jess,

      Your comment made me think. (Hard to do. Congrats!) Anyway, I read the Twilight trilogy (Why do I keep wanting to call it a trilogy?) right around the time that New Moon madness started last summer.

      It was too much. Everywhere I’d go, I would see Edward and Bella, Bella and Jacob, a wolf… hell, even a dreamcatcher would set me off. By the time that November rolled around, I was a twitchy creature who almost had a nervous breakdown before I got to see THE MOVIE.

      I can’t go through something like that again. I know that I had other RL circumstances that were helping to push me off the deep end, but that certainly didn’t help.

      In short, I want them to show a trailer on May 1. That’s it. And then I will go see THE MOVIE in June. (It is June, correct?)

      I know. I’m all alone in this. Dammit.

      • *shuns self for forgetting to say “shun” in that comment*

      • June? I was thinking it was 4th of July weekend.

        Summit is truly doing a horrid job with publicizing this movie. We are supposed to be “fans” who should know things like this… and yet we don’t.

        • It’s June 30th. It’s my birthday, so it’s impossible for me to forget.

      • The dreamcatcher is only in the movie.

        • Your point?

          • You said that seeing a dreamcatcher would set you off after reading the books in the summer, but before the movie came out in November. It really shouldn’t have, since the reference didn’t exist until after the movie came out.

          • Well.

            I am sorry that my mind doesn’t work in a way that is suitable to you.

            I know that it would be impossible for me to have seen the photo where Taytortot is handing the Stew a dreamcatcher. Fucking impossible.

            Now, let me get back to my pipe dreams. I also think I’ll go eat a bowl of alphabet soup. Hopefully the letters will make everything clearer to me and my own need to STFU.

          • TS. Come on.

            I know you’re obsessed with Billy Burke, but you do realize that’s a character, right? He’s not actually law enforcement. So you don’t have to be Twilight police in homage.

            Jasper says relax. No need to patrol everyone’s comments, looking for errors. Makes for uneasy nights sleeping in glass houses, too.

          • Fang, Pizz. You guys are hooors.

            TS I can’t thank you enough for existing. Srsly. What these hoors fail to realize is that you’re a busy woman. Your days are spent in the sweatshop of your mind, weaving the interwebs full of your shameless self-promotion and delusions of grandeur. Why, how you find time in your day to descend the golden ladder down, down, down from your lofty steed to ensure that all comments here are true and correct is amazing.

            Oh, and let’s not forget the Copstache porn. Hark! From the deepest cockles of your heart you share these glorious images with us – the ungrateful, unwashed masses. His mustache is like a forest, a dark woody thicket in which your daddy issues can frolic like newborn fawns.

            So thank you, Team Seth. Thank you for sharing your infinite wisdom with these ungrateful hoors. They may not see the merit in your corrections today, but in the not-too-distant future – when you are gracing the silver screen as glorious Kate – they will regale anyone who will listen with tales of how you “totally corrected them on a wordpress blog this one time.”

            Baby, it’s gonna be magic.

          • chimaera2009, your eloquence is unnerving…

          • *properly chastised*

            I apologize for my hoorish ways. I know not what I know not.

            I shall give myself thirty lashes for my lack of respect for the Twi. Then I shall re-watch the DVD and re-read the books until my retinas bleed, so that I am adequately prepared to even THINK of discussing the material.

            BTW, my birthday is in March. I’m so uncool.

          • Verily, upon the utterance of 42 Hail Team Seths, you shall be forgiven, my child.

          • Chim and Pizz.

            I refuse to do any of the above.

            No hailing. No retina bleeding.

            I will be going to hell with the best company.

          • wow. someone took their bitch pills today. I thought this is supposed to be for fun and the love of all things Twilight.

          • *passes the bitch bong to Pizz and Fang*

            You wanna hit this?

          • And you are referring to whom?

            Only ONE person brought this on.

            And YES it USED to be fun.

            Me? Bitchy? Yes. But all for good reason.

          • *accepts hit from bitch bong*

            I love that alliteration, Chim.

          • @ALL LTT’s….WHAT is happening?? I took three hours to write my comment..which is typical for me…lol…and then I come back and read what I missed while I was trying to compose a post that makes at least a little sense …as I am reading and I come across these comments…..WTH……
            Maybe its none of my business, but I love LTT/LTR or at least I used to.. but it seems more and more lately I have seen alot of hurtful/mean/thumbsdowning etc., posts….WHY?
            When I came here mons ago the thing that struck me the most was the kindness, the generosity and the unity on this site. PPL were willing to accept me the way I am and all my faults with open arms..its what gave me the courage to start posting in the first place and it was that sense of kinship that kept me here..sharing and enjoying the company of an incredible group of ladies that spend alittle time away from the harsh realities of RL to share a laugh, a story and even a tear or too.. this was our “safe” place to share our passion and love of all things Twilight…..so once in a while it is only natural that a good healthy debate or disagreement is bound to occur! The thing is now it gets nasty and mean….what has changed? It just makes me so sad…. :_(

          • Yeah, so I’m probably still too buzzed from the bitch bong to be commenting, but I’ve never drunk-dialed, so it all evens out, right?

            This blog IS for fun. At least, that’s what I try to take away from it. I come here because I like the approach that’s been taken with the beloved should-have-been-a-trilogy. Moon & UC have created a niche wherein we can make fun of the Twi OUT LOUD, yet whisper our feverish love to accepting folk.

            Yes, it’s gotten a bit catty today, but perhaps instead of being subtly sarcastic I will just say this: It’s a fun, silly thing to do – taking part in a hilarious online community centered around a bit of pop culture. It’s wearying to be corrected or put in place when participating in such lightheartedness. It’s ridiculous to take such things so seriously when there are much more important things to be concerned with in the world.

            And just because I did graduate junior high, I’m going to ignore the fact that someone just called me a bitch online. ‘Cause THAT shit is just too ridiculously funny for me to even be mad about. Love, people, love.

          • Very Important announcement

            If you’ve noticed LTT comment drama recently read this very special announcement from UC & Moon.

            (If you have not noticed drama, don’t waste your time!)

            http://tinyurl.com/y9ez7b5

          • Thank you Cindi. You said what I wished I had said, but I was so angry I couldnt be nice.

            StotheP, no one called you a bitch.

            This whole thing is out of hand. Just because someone knows a random fact about the books we all read and love, doesnt mean she was trying to be “correcting”, maybe she is just sharing her knowledge. If thats wrong then so be it. But I dont think so and I think the way it was read was taken out of context by all and then some very mean and unnecessary comments followed. I really like reading this blog and the comments but these kinds of things just make me upset. Sorry for my comment before. The end.

          • I’m not much of a hugger. TS knows where to find me. *taps foot*

          • *Hugs Chim…grazes boob…is not ashamed*
            I iz your Creevey/ Clearwater….ILY
            :)

          • *Hugs Chim and Dilly*

            *grabs Dilly’s boob* *pinches Chim’s ass*

            And Chim is right. We can all be easily found.

          • Yes, lest any other interpretation be misinterpreted, this can certainly be resolved elsewhere. Twitter. Email. Skype. Message tied to the leg of a carrier mantis.

          • I always think about indians when I see dream catchers, since they are part of Native American culture.

            Native Americans make me think about Jacob.

            Jacob makes me think about New Moon.

            Hence: dream catcher = New Moon

            Right?

          • Yes, luvsme.

            Exactly.

            I <3 you. :)

      • I’m glad I made you think. I don’t think one of my comments has ever started as much discussion as this one. I’m kind of proud of myself! I feel like I’m a part of the community now :)

        Anyway, I always want to call it a trilogy too! It’s because BD is so.. ugh. They should have just left it at Eclipse.
        I kind of agree with you about the trailer thing as well. Too much is not good. But people forgetting about it isn’t good either! They need to find a balance.

        And Summit, listen up: I don’t want to see clips from every part of the movie BEFORE it’s released. I actually like being surprised! I like not being able to recite certain scenes while I’m watching the movie at the theater for the first time. Make us wait a bit! Don’t give it up all at once.

        • Ohhhhhh, a fellow TwiPrude. Welcome, Jess. Welcome to the primitive island where we allow no spoilers to taint our experience.

          Here’s your purity ring. Wear it well. Its magic shall protect your virtue until the clock strikes midnight on June 30. Go forth into the world and spread our message.

          • Yay! Twi-prudes unite! We will meet on Wednesday to discuss what we hope to not be seeing from Eclipse…It will be EPIC! Name-badges will be provided at door…on second thoughts…lets keep that a secret as well shall we? Cookies and milk (and spiked punch for the legals) will be provided. If leaked scripts are found they will be shredded or kept for personal perusal…(for research purposes of Twi-prudity)
            *plays with Twi-prude ring*

          • TwiPrude. I haven’t heard that one yet, but if that’s what I am then I’ll embrace it! This meeting of the TwiPrudes sounds like fun. I’m in :P

    • Not just you. I haven’t read the books or seen twilight in ages. I feel like coming down from one big Twi-high. You don’t want to lose fans Summit, throw us a bone!

      • I considered going to watch New Moon again a couple nights ago, but I talked myself out of it. I’m also so annoyed I left my Twilight DVD back in Oregon.

    • For me, Eclipse will be a little Rob-movie placeholder between Remember Me and whenever Bel Ami comes out, so there’s not too big a drought . . .

      • Yes, and now let’s go over to LTR and gripe about why there are no more Remember Me trailers, and what the hay Rob is doing NOT working on a movie and getting lots of pictures released on the Internet? Weren’t you supposed to be a Comanche by now, my lad?!

        (No, wait, he was supposed to SPEAK Comanche in a movie. Right. He is busy preparing, taking Comanche elocution classes. My bad.)

        • No, no more trailers is a good thing. See Jess and StotheP’s comments above.

          • Comanche elocution lessons–dot.ooorg.

  10. The mention of “Pancho” makes me want to drive 100 miles to eat sopapillas.

    *shuns self for wanting mexican food at 9 am*

    • Oooooh, me too! I wonder where the nearest Panchos is….

      • Summer at White Station. :-)

        • Haha, thanks! I think I’ve seen it now that you mention it! But that’s so close to Taqueria la Guadalupana, which has ruined me from eating any other Mexican food…

          • Actually, I haven’t tried Taqueria la Guadlupana, but I’ve heard good things about it! It’s right by a place I eat sushi at a lot. Oops – I think I accidentally turned this into a restaurant blog.

          • Never been!?! All right, we need to arrange a Twi-date and go to the Taqueria.

        • Excuse me, Ang … are you in Memphis????

          Panchos FTW.

          (The best one used to be on Poplar until they turned it into a Starbucks and I died a little inside).

          • @allyans – Yes! Lifelong Memphian. :-) You? The Panchos on Poplar was a fast food version, right? I grew up eating at the Pancho’s on Union and McLean…which was torn down and replaced by a Starbucks. hmmm….I see a trend developing here.

            My sis and her hubs bring a cooler with them everytime they come home for a visit and pack it full of pancho cheese dip, hot sauce and that scary yummy yellow sauce that is made of oil and nectar of the gods.

          • @allryans Are you in Memphis, too?!?

          • I’m totally in Memphis … OMG! ;)

            That yellow-green sauce is fucking mexican nectar. But I think you can make it out of olive oil, mustard and oregano.

            Are y’all both from Memphis? Holy shit, MidSouth LTTers!

          • @tuesday and allryans – Holy crow! It’s the LTT-Mid-South Chapter! We must hold meetings. Tuesday – I just sent you an e-mail. Allryans – are you on the forum? If so, PM me!

          • ok, I’m PMing you … we’ll need to get “book-club” meetings going soon.

          • Yay! Bluff City LTTers! I’m not from Memphis originally, but I’ve lived here about three years. I’m already saying “y’all”…

          • @allryans – will go get my PM as soon as I come back from a meeting. pesky work…always getting in the way!

            @tuesday – I’ve lived here my whole life and I don’t even say y’all! At least not often. But thankfully you spelled it right. So we will claim you as “one of us.”

          • And we only get Taco Bell over here… :-(

  11. Well, we all know that I’m happy for BD to get put off as long as possible so I can build up my acting resume, but that’s neither here nor there.

    What’s here, or rather not here, is Eclipse! I’m now having flashes of how the preview will look. Even the 15 second preview that’s all Star Wars: The Phantom Menace style and goes about like this:
    Bella and Edward in the meadow staring lovingly into each other’s eyes.
    Cut to black
    Bella and Edward in the giant bed making bedroom eyes at one another.
    Cut to black. We hear Bella breathing in lust.
    Bella and Edward in the giant bed, close up on the leg hitch.
    Cut to black. We hear Bella breathing in fear.
    Bella against a giant wall in a warmer coat than her yellow one with extreme fear in her eyes.
    Cut to black. We hear hissing.
    Close up on Victoria’s face. Her red eyes glowing with bloodlust.
    Cut to black. We hear wolves growling.
    Row of shapeshifters wolves intermingled with Cullen vamps ready to attack.
    Cut to black. Font appears that reads: The saga continues
    New font screen: June 30th
    New font screen: Credits, rating, copyright info.

    That’s right, no title screen. Who needs a title? We all know what it is solely from Bella breathing.

    • Yes! I love it. So long as they don’t ruin it with background music. The breathing, hissing and growling would have much more of an impact.

      • Precisely! Save the BG music and the “This summer the saga continues” V.O. for the full trailer, okay just don’t use VO. And there’s gotta be a quick clip of Charlie and of Demetri and Felix in the full trailer. j/s

    • WIN!

    • Dear Summit,

      Please give TeamSeth a job.

      Thanks

      Oh, and UC and Moon and everyone on this blog while we’re at it – your movies will be full of Rob nudity greatly improve!

      • Yes, please! I need a job anyway!

        • TS – I’m assuming you’ll get the job, so I have a request, it only involves a little tweaking to ending of BD and it would surely help build BD movie anticipation to fever pitch.

          Before I ask though and incur any wrath from the Twilight gods (Buttcrack right?) let me make it clear to all that in my own mind I am Taycob’s #1fan and this request comes from that love/obssession and a prediliction for dramatic finales.

          OK, could you somehow swing it, a word in the right ear or some creative ad libbing/acting, so that Jacob gets killed – yes killed- in a totally dramatic way in true Romeo/Juliet style, after all, Paris died. Well I guess they all died but no need to go overboard.

          I just find the ending SM (bless her) concocted esp. for Jacob a little too tidy and dare I say, kinda boring. I would have loved to see him go out in a blaze of heroic, heart wrenching glory that would have me weeping over my Team Jacob coffee mug for weeks rather than have him hanging around for 17yrs to finally get it on with someone.

          Forgive me, I’m sorry if I’ve offended but the request comes purely from my love of Jacob.

          Thank you for your time.

          PS Good luck.

          PPS Am also ok if he baulks at the thought of Eddie as a father-in-law and hooks up with Leah instead,esp. as JJones is such a foxy wolf.

          PPPS Am also ok if you think, WTF, this person is clearly insane.

    • RE: ‘Well, we all know that I’m happy for BD to get put off as long as possible so I can build up my acting resume, but that’s neither here nor there.’

      I’m going with “nor there.” You were right in the first four words. WE ALL KNOW. Enough already.

      • In other news, I am trying out for the role of Kachiri.

        I have no idea what she does or who she is but I look exactly like her!

        PS. I totally had to google “obscure Breaking Dawn characters” to find that name.

    • LOL!
      Then post credits (Ferris Bueller style) Sam (or other wolf) throwing JORTS at the camera.

      …maybe Levi’s could do some endorsement deals.

    • David Slade, take note. This would cost, what, $39.95 to produce? Half the people on this blog could create it on their lap-tops. Do it, already!

  12. Renessmee should be Suri Cruise. Just use her face and animate the body, I mean, how hard can that be?

    • I glanced at your post and thought your name was
      “Little Renesmee”.

      I was terrified.

  13. Time out….I just realized SM never made a NM cameo…she should….she should do that for all of them ala M. Night Shamalamalamalamalon. She started it it Twilight she should continue!
    She could be Emily’s muffin baker…..She could wash the Volvo…..um….she could get arrested by Charlie….I mean the possiblities are endless.

    • If she gets arrested by Charlie, I’m throwing in the towel. I’ll be so green eyed it won’t be funny.

    • Emily’s muffin baker? There’s a fanfic waiting to happen…

      • LOL! Jodes, you said “fanfic”! Where’s your Bobby pic? ;-)

    • Maybe Stephenie did a cameo that got cut out in the editing, and it will be on the DVD with extras? We’ll get to see her on the airplane to Italy where Bella and Alice have a tense whispered conversation about what lies ahead while S. is getting her veggie plate from the airplane steward. :-)

      • This would be perfect!

  14. I haven’t thought much about Eclipse lately either, but I know once a trailer is released, I’ll get my obsession on.

    And, I’m reading Breaking Dawn right now. Confession – I am enjoying it more this time around. Makes me really want to hear some news about the movie(s).

    • I <3 BD

      • I know, right? Sorry…had to be said. Honestly, even though there were moments reading BD the first time (ok, and the second time) where I was thinking “What?” for the most part I really enjoyed the story. To me, it provides the perfect fairly tale ending for the saga.

    • One of these days imma read it again. After reading so much fanfic that elaborates on the missing scenes–especially the one, you know, on the island– and fanfics that add depth to all the characters, I think it will be much more enjoyable!

      • “fanfics that add depth to all the characters”. twss

  15. Seriously, the cast is going to start going grey before they get around to filming it.

    • Baby!

      I thought you said “the CAT is going to start going grey”.

      I’m going back to bed.

      • Maybe you should be putting the glasses ON your face, lol.
        ;-)

        • Good point.

          I never actually wear those glasses.
          I knew I had them for a reason!

          • I always think your avatar is the movie poster for Lolita, but it’s not: http://www.allposters.com/-st/Lolita-1962-Posters_c571_.htm

          • Ooh. I kinda love that. Never saw it before.

            But no, that avatar is me. In all my photoshopped, future hawt librarian glory.

  16. Is that manip AmanDUH’s body?

    • Um, you win the best comment award for today.

      • :Bows: thank you.

  17. Dear GOD! That Kstew pic!

    • i know, right? eww!

  18. That picture is all kinds of effed up! I am going to have nightmares ….

  19. WIN.

    p.s. i blame it on the fact that summit is actually waiting for K to get knocked up by R so that they don’t have to spend the extra cash on the prosthetic belly. they also plan on using the baby as renesmee bc if rob drops her/him (which rob WILL) there will be no angry parent threatening to sue. only the rath of kstew to be inflicted on rob. which is completely out of their control.

  20. that pic of kristen scares me..

    if anyone loves Post Secret, as i do.. in yesterdays sunday posts, there a card of just Rob’s face and it says “I don’t get it”… made me laugh :D

  21. I think their biggest problem is finding a willing director for BD at this time. Whoever they end up getting is going to be some ballsy (insane) dude or cougar (Cathy).

    But I’m really losing my patience here waiting for ANYTHING Eclipse related. They are being pricks. If they would just release the leghitch still, I wouldn’t even ask for a trailer.

  22. Btw, I really like this Pancho & Bella storyline.

  23. I find the Eclipse drought most troubling. Worried that it means the movie is sucky. Maybe Slade made it into a horror movie and Summit is freaking out about how to market it. Dismembered vampires=NOT HOT.

  24. Morning Everyone!
    Had some thoughts, for what they are worth, regarding Breaking Dawn (BTW..HUGE thanks Ang for the great break down of the story) :)
    There are so many problems in making this movie that there are bound to be delays and I am sure that most of the issues will be kept underwraps until they are worked out..such as:
    Conflicts between SM and studio regarding bringing “her vision” to the big screen b/c SM has always been very involved in the making of the movies…what she perceives as important to the story may not be acceptable to them as they will of course have concerns regarding ratings ie: PG 13, PG17 etc., fallout from parents (as this saga has been targeted toward teens?) and there are always the “watchdog” groups that look at all movies in an effort to start controversary whenever they can…and BD does have some very controversial scenes…
    One or two movies: Most of the actors signed on for only 3 movies. RPatz, is as far as I know, that has officially stated that he is signed on for making BD, and I am pretty sure KStew has also, but so far no word from the other actors.also.SM has said she prefers it made in two…here is where the actors hold all the cards and potentially delay the making of movie(s) while they “negotiate” salaries.
    Screenwriter: Melissa Rosenberg has only signed on to do three movies and has not yet said whether or not she will do BD…
    Finding a director willing to risk SO MUCH taking on this project. This book is the conclusion of this beloved saga , IT better bring it…IT has to meet the twifans expectations cause there are no do- overs…for example alot of ppl loved New Moon but it didn’t generate the “excitement” that the original Twilight did..you need look no further than here…Twilight gave a years + worth (and still going strong) of comments/jokes/laughter etc…and NM..not so much mainly for good reasons…it seems to me alot of fans just want to move on to Eclipse..well, Breaking Dawn is IT..(unless SM takes pity and does Midnight Sun (PLZ) but they probably wouldn’t make that a movie anyway :( ) So THEY HAVE TO GET THIS RIGHT..no pressure..lol…
    Then there are also character issues: ( I hope I explain this right) Kristen is young. There was a definate difference/improvement in how she looked in NM and as time goes by her face is bound to get more mature looking. She is a beautiful young girl and she must transform into a gorgeous vampire in BD.. but we all e know there is that natural change that takes place in everyone when they go from teen to young adult and we saw some of that in NM..they may be waiting a bit to capture that transformation? Although they have to be careful as time also marches on for the rest of the actors as well…
    Speaking of which, the Twilight saga has made these actors much more popular and so now you have scheduling conflicts as they are more in demand for other projects and if they DO plan on two movies…well it just makes it twice as complicated or if it is one long movie, same problem..long committment from the actors that are involved in other projects/show ie: PF in Nurse Jackie filmed in New York…
    Ok..so now that I have rambled on…I will end with my own plea to see some Eclipse clips?? Something/anything??
    Lastly, has anyone seen/heard about the release of the “graphic version of Twilight” due out soon? It is my understanding that SM had her “hand” in the making of this…which makes me ponder..yes I do ponder from time to time…if SM was so particuliar about keeping the original Twilight “pure and innocent” then why would she want anything to do with a “graphic version” unless I am taking it the wrong way and they are meaning a different kind of graphic..like pictorial? (Is that even a word) oh well..I haven’t slept in like 3 days..this is your brain or my case partial brain …sleep deprived…have a great day everyone!! :)

    • It is pictures, Cyn.

      Kinda like a really long comic book.
      :)

      • Thanks Fang….LAMA (laughing at myself again) I SHOULD have known that… duh…actually, I can’t blame this on my brain..ok I can but I am not going to b/c before I came here I wouldn’t have thought that it meant something “dirty” lol…I just wouldn’t have known what it meant at all and wouldn’t have cared either.. :) I have gotten such an education here! :)

        • I LOVE that you thought it was the other kind of graphic!! I freaking wish!

          • I’d be all over that!

          • Me too.

    • Hey MidCyn! You are most welcome for the mini-breakdown of BD I sent you. Though, I really only hit the high points!

      Oh, and I saw some pages of the graphic novel in entertainment weekly magazine. Looks kind of cool and very much in line with the story we know and love.

    • Hi Cyn!

      I love that you thought it was a GRAPHIC novel. I would so buy that. Here’s a link to a story about the graphic novel. I’m not a fan of that type of artwork, but it does look beautiful. http://shelf-life.ew.com/2010/01/20/exclusive-twilight-the-graphic-novel/

      • Thanks Jodie..shoulda woulda coulda asked before I wrote that…I am such a dumbass.. :) Also laughing at the fact that I just looked at the time it posted and realized just how long it did take me to write the bloody thing..I started when it WAS morning and didn’t finish til 2:44 in the afternoon…I REALLY NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP…not that it will help me write faster…Imma just really really tired!!! :)
        Hugs!

  25. Important announcement

    If you’ve noticed LTT comment drama recently read this very special announcement from UC & Moon.

    (If you have not noticed drama, don’t waste your time!)

    http://tinyurl.com/y9ez7b5

  26. [...] What’s taking Breaking Dawn so long? Dear Eclipse, We’re almost at 5 months to the DAY of when Eclipse will be released and we’ve seen nothing [...] [...]

  27. I think there are some big issues with making Breaking Dawn into a movie. I just hope it doesn’t take forever just to decide on them!

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