Lustin’ for the Ladies….

On Saturdays over on LTR, we have something called Saturday Morning Delight where we lust over vids of Rob. Well, introducing our LTT equivilent but for the girls (or, I guess you could argue this is for the men): Lustin’ for the Ladies!

Dear Ashley,

I was pretty sure you weren’t going to get any hotter for me. I was pretty sure you hit your height of hottness with that photo-shoot I saw you in a week or so ago (I forget what it was now- you’ll see why). I was pretty sure my jealousness of your gorgeous body couldn’t grow and my lusting over your perfect features had peaked.

Hell-to-the-no.
I was wrong….

Are those abs? And they’re not airbrushed?

Like a perfect mermaid….

So if I drink Sobe…. I’ll look like this?

I’ll be honest…. me and a bunch of gals looked closely… and we’re not sure where your nipple went..

Hottest.Painted.on.Bathing.suit.Ever

Lustin’ for life,
UnintendedChoice

After the jump, read a letter to Ash by long-time-LTT reader and friend Too_Far_Gone

Dear Ashley,

I just came across this picture of you on GoFugYourself and I have to say that I just LOVE your outfit. At first I thought my eyes had deceived me – surely this could not be the Ashley Greene who rocked the doe-eyed, open-mouthed, suggestive poses on Maxim covers not so long ago? I was so happy to see that you’ve gone back to your roots here. And by your roots, I mean your grandmother’s closet, because here you look more like Betty White in one of her old-school pastel suits, complete with shoulder pads. Shoulder pads are back in style… right? Perhaps I’ll get some, too. I love the linebacker look!

I love the black and white striped shirt by the way. It’s so Jailhouse-Chic. It says to me “Chris Hansen just caught me making out with Taylor so I’ll see you in 15 years.” Since we’re all Cougars now, we should probably all get matching shirts so that we can be an insta-gang when we all wind up in prison.

And what’s with the rolled-up pant legs, lady? Are you being styled by LL Cool J circa 1991? Or are you rolling them up so that your hem won’t get wet with the Twi-hards’ tears when they see Alice’s New Moon clothes? Because I must admit, I shed a few tears myself every time I think of those finger warmer/glove monstrosities that the Costume Department made you wear.

But honestly… this is not really your normal choice of getup for your Twi-appearances. Normally you go for something much less Charlie-Chaplin-on-hallucinigens. So was this part of some dress-up challenge between you and Kellan? You dared him to dress up like a hobo for ComicCon and he dared you to dress up as a secretary from 1985? I get it… I like to play dress up with my husband, too… whatever keeps the spice, I can’t hate on you for that.

Thanks to this outfit, you’re still my Number 1 Fake-Lesbian partner.

I’ll take the femme role,

Too_Far_Gone

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50 Responses

  1. Maybe she has inverted nipples??

    • It’s just good painting. Or a bit of photoshopping – is it the same in the video? I didn’t look.

    • That just cracked me up right now
      Inverted nipples?
      HAHAHAHa… hilarious

  2. Dear Rob:

    Are you blind?!?!?!!? Seriously?!?!?!
    How can you not see this?

    ush.

  3. I was wondering about the nipples too….maybe they are covered up with some kind of pasty?

    Why am I thinking about this???

    • Cuz That’s Normal

    • Yeah, I just asked my cousin about this who’s in beauty school. She said it’s some kind of thin material that they place over the “bits” (her words, not mine).

    • No – I was totally looking for nipples yesterday….you’re not alone….

    • Because it’s important to figure out the insider tips before paying all that money and sitting still all that time getting your halloween costume 2010 painted on.

  4. HOT DAYUM!

    • ow missed the letter! Just saw it now.
      “Jailhouse-Chic” lol. That IS one weird outfit. I tried my best to like at least something on it, but I just can’t.

  5. I’ve heard about the pics but haven’t actually seen them yet. It is supposed to be a drink commercial right?
    I don’t get it; she’s the hottest girl on the set of Twilight and yet no one pays her the attention she truely deserves…

    • Maybe she is the hottest , but it’s not doing naked photos that give you a job as an actress, ask megan fox, and other beautifull girl in hollywood.

      And ashley got alot of attention, she is at most premiere or party in hollywood. That means she is invited so she gets attention.

      Also don’t forget the audience for these movies are female and they don’t give women the same kind of attention they give to guys.

  6. I was just discussing the nipple issue with my husband (because why not let him lust over someone for a change?it’s only fair) and figured they must put some kind of pasty over them , and the hooha too.

    Seems like a pretty big deal, just to announce two new Sobe flavors.

    • Sorry, you lost me after “I was just discussing the nipple issue with my husband…” LOL

      • Morning Ang..sent you an email just now..my keyboard stop working yesterday when I was writing my epic long post!

  7. First post my husband ever looked at… lol

    • why did I get a thumbs down? :-(

      • Looks like someone has a case of “I’m going to thumbs down everyone for no apparent reason” today.

      • aw! cuz someone is a meanie!

  8. Jeesh. Another photo of Ashley nearly naked? Yawn. Call me when the girl learns what clothes are.

    • Morning JodieO! Hope your having a good weekend!

    • hahaha i had a similar thought

  9. All I can think about is. how does the paint NOT come off in the water? Because just in case I choose to wear a painted on Baithing suit, I want to be prepared.

    • Nicole- I asked the same thing! My husband says they use special kind of paint… I wonder how come he knows so much about it? lol

      • It’s latex body paint.

        Kinda like painting a balloon on your body.

        Pretty cool actually. :D

        • Sounds painful! Wonder if it hurts to take it off. I think thats the same stuff they use the Sport Illustrated swimsuit issue? Not that I look at such things.

          • I have no idea.

            I’m pretty sure that they would wax EVERYTHING before. ;)

          • OW!

  10. Damn!

    She’s hawt.

    I still can’t be a fat girl hating on the beautiful so I applaud her.

    She is making the most out of her fame and even though the average woman may say that she would do everything differently and that she has “morals”, I would guess otherwise.

    Let’s name the average woman, Sally Jo (just cause I can).

    I bet that Sally Jo would be partying it up at the Playboy Mansion, wearing painted on swimwear, and pashing every hott guy in town.

    I would. Now stop acting so high and mighty and just admit it.

    Good morning! Happy Saturday.

    • Hells yes! Can I be Sally Jane? Srsly, I will meet you at the mansion. I say if you can pull off a painted on suit, then flaunt that shizz!

    • Um, hell, yes! I might not make a habit of it, but for at least one weekend I would totally be “that girl.” The one supposedly flirting with five guys at once. The one wearing something totally inappropriate for the weather or the venue. The one all the guys want to date and all the girls love to hate. Oh, the scandals . . .

      But WAY before I started crying my eyes out on my girlfriend’s front porch every other weekend – before I started my own leggings line to fund my questionable habits – before I smothered my pores in self tanner and my career in eau de shit – I would have a reality check, put some panties on, and go audtion for the next George Clooney movie.

      • suuuure you would, anna…. ;)

        I’ve always wanted to play a girl in a Bond film, either the bad guy’s girlfriend/lover or the first girl he fools around with. The one who always dies. In Casino Royale I love Le Chifre’s girl, the blond, when she gets onto his yacht from the Ocean in that blue one-piece bathing suit. Such a hot suit! I want to be that character who wears the hot one-piece in the Bahamas. One day…

        Though I agree w/ fang on this playboy mansion bit. That girl who was on The Girls Next Door that was really chilled out, she was awesome. The one who went snowboarding all the time. I would so be her. Think of all the perks!

  11. Is it weird that I wanted to see how they cover up the crack in the back? I mean it may seem like a suit, but you cover the crack in a suit, so how do they do it with paint? Just wondering!?

    • TammyO must be lurking, what did I say?

    • If they were smart they’d just make it into a thong suit in the back!

    • Probably the same materials they use to cover other parts.

  12. Too Far Gone,

    I <3 the linebacker look too!

    Love,

    3hboyshouse

    *Sorry for all the random comments, my hubs is gone for a baseball meeting so I can actually read LTT on Saturday, yeah for me! I love you girls, just have to hide my LTTobsession just a lil bit! He doesn't get that I am completely "Normal"!

    • Baseball meeting? Is he like Renee’s boyfriend/new husband…a minor league ball player?

  13. Love the post, ladies! I was wondering what Ashley was twitpimping last night!

    *meanwhile, over at the Kellan-sponsored “Youth: Revolting” Bible study/self-empowerment seminar*

    Jackson: What the hell, Kellan? You said you needed us to play some music. What’s going on?

    Kellan: Right after these next thirty slides, man. Shh. Watch the presentation. This next part is where he talks about how self-empowerment can help you be a better you, but “self-empowerment” can make you go blind. Here, have a drink.

    Jackson: Dude, is this cherry Koolaid? *looks at phone* Woah. Shit. Is that body paint? Uh, hey man, look at–

    *door busts open and slams against the wall*

    AnnaLynne: JACKSON! You get that damn phone away from my Pookie RIGHT NOW! Don’t look, Baby! Remember your eyes! Your EEEEEEEEEEEYES!

    • “my Pookie” FTW!!!
      U know what Jackson does next right? Sends them to Tay’s phone with the message “This one’s for you big boy”….while he’s cuddling with Swift…and voila! instant break-up! I should be taking meds for this kind of imagination…lol
      <3

  14. I want to know how they covered up her va-j-j. cause in the video, how she was on the ground… um parts would be showing….

    sorry if someone already said this. I’m too hungover to read it all.

    Great letter TFG!

  15. LMAO @ Too Far Gone’s letter!! “It’s so Jailhouse-Chic. It says to me ‘Chris Hansen just caught me making out with Taylor so I’ll see you in 15 years.’”

  16. Dear Ashley,

    Be my BFF! I dont look as eff-hawt as you in a painted on swimsuit, but once i got a smudge of ink on my nose and people thought it was ADORBS!!! I have already put in my resume for the Illegalautner BFF-dom and errr…if you could put in a good word from me that would be awesome. (btw, do you think Tay will buy a mag to support you? and then hide it under his power rangers bunk bed whenever Big Daddy comes in?)

    I can be ure wingman. I’ll be the personality of the duo, u know, keep the boys entertained with witty one-liners so they dont get too bored while drooling all over you. Its the least I can do…I’m good with celebrities, I dont squee, cry or faint so I’d be normal even with Rob, Jackson, Kellan and hell, if thats what you’re into…Tay…I could ship that…I could ship that hard…with mustard…in bed…
    *mouths* Call me..

    Morning everybody!
    The hamster’s girl crush has been renewed!

    • :)

  17. zzzzz …. ashley naked … again ….

    she is obviously very, very beautiful, but what else does she have?! she is so far not the greatest actress, she has NEVER said ONE clever or funny answer in an interview, and she is very young and her private pix of her ladybits has leaked online: shouldn´t her pr people (or herself..) try to get her to do SOMEthing other than posing nude?

    just to balance things up if she wants a longer career.

  18. Wow. Too. Much. Hotness.

    Maybe I should switch teams? :)

  19. I wonder if she needs a “friend” to “experiment” with… I’d help cross that bridge. Just sayin’, Ash.

  20. Good for Ashley. All I can say is, if I had a body like hers I’d walk around EVERY GODDAMN DAY in nothing but painted-on clothing.

    And the Betty White outfit…I’m thinking it might have been a wardrobe test for Eclipse. I mean if NM’s wardrobe was any indication of what’s to come…..I’m just sayin’.

  21. Sobe pubes flashes and her looking like Driving Miss Daisy in New Moon,and some of her horacious prom outfits she’s modeled…. this outfit is a good in the middle gag

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