New Moon expectations

Deepest Loss

Deepest Loss- THIS is why I can't wait for this film

Dear young teachable ones,

Do you remember your first time? You had already fallen in love. You had already been through a lot together, and then the unexpected happens. And your heart is ripped out and you don’t want to go on. You want to close your eyes and fall into a deep sleep- someone waking you when the pain has passed. New Moon is like that for everyone. I know we can each name a friend or two who has thrown the book across the room and refused to continue to read. If you were one of those people who got your entire group of friends to read the book, you know this especially well. Friends loved you after Twilight and wondered why you kept that book from them for so long. And then by the time they got to New Moon, they replaced their gratefulness with anger. But that, too, passes. And eventually you and your friends read New Moon again and appreciate all the things about the book that you missed the first time (like chapters 3-17).

New Moon is such a powerful book filled with that emotion of deepest loss that so many can relate to. This is why I cannot wait for the movie. Plus it has Rob. And the wolfpack. Shirtless. Plus Rob shirtless. And Taylor. And Rob. And was directed by Chris Weitz, DILF of the year. Plus Alice is dressed better. And Jasper has that awful wig that will provide countless jokes for months to come. And Rob. Shirtless. All those things plus an awesome story? All that to say, I cannot wait.

JortPack

Fine, I also can't wait for the Jort-pack

But I have to be honest. I’m concerned that in the upcoming weeks as the press starts to have private viewings and then when we see the film on November 20th, some of us are going to be disappointed. There has been so much hype surrounding this movie that it’s been built up in our minds to be so far and beyond what Twilight was. That’s not a hard feat because, as we’ve said before, Twilight blew, but I think the bar has been set SO HIGH for New Moon that if anything is off slightly from what is expected, fans are going to come after Chris Weitz by the hundreds. I know Moon said he carries that man-bag around with him, but I don’t know if he can load it with enough rocks to ward off a mob of angry, cock-blocked Twihards. But despite this, despite if it flops at the box office (right…) and if it gets reviews worse than “From Justin to Kelly,” I think I’ll still love it. I think we can ALL still love it. And I think it’s all about managing our expectations.

Let’s not go into New Moon on opening night thinking it’s going to be like Schindler’s List. If we accept that it will more likely mirror Bring it On Again, it might be easier to love if it’s a major dud. Accept it NOW. They will NOT cover EVERY detail in the book. They have 200 minutes to bring a 25 chapter book to life. Plus they have to backtrack and include some details Twilight left out (Cathy Hardi is sipping her Ultimate Pina Colada at TGIFridays saying “suckaassss” right now) They will leave out details you feel are important and they will add details IN that you think are stupid. ACCEPT it now!

Rob Pattinson Shirtless

Okay, THIS might also be a reason why I can't wait for this film

There will be things that will be cheesy. It’s CGI and WOLVES. Big, non-existent computerized wolves. They will not look real. Cuz wolves like that don’t really exist. Accept IT now! Rob will occasionally sound British. He can’t help it. He’s British. Accept it! Kristen will stutter & blink. She learned that in when she was 13 and in Panic Room when the director yelled “Look scared” and she said “How?” and he responded “Stutter & blink!” Colors will be different. The order of events will be different. Characters will be different. Characters will be ADDED (Please God let there be a New Moon equivalent of Buttcrack Santa (Tequila Tomas is a viable option)) ACCEPT it NOW! You WILL be cock-blocked like in the book. Edward and Bella don’t get it on. Rob won’t be getting naked. There will be fight scenes to “bring in a male audience” that weren’t present in the book. Someone will wear their New Moon burger king crown to the movie theater blocking your view, and little girls will be in the theater with their “Team Jacob” t-shirts and you will judge their mothers for allowing them to come despite their age. ACCEPT IT NOW.

New Moon is a book that plays out differently in each of our minds. And it’s being brought to the big screen from the minds of just a handful of people. We are different. They are different. They visualize things we never would and don’t visualize things we do (Rob naked). If we focus on what WE want then we WILL be disappointed. Let’s just remember it’s a book we love and we get to see it play out BEFORE our very eyes! And Rob will make us swoon. Does anything else really matter?

Love your friendly neighborhood expectation manager,
UnintendedChoice

Seriously, I went into Twilight having ZERRROOOO expectations. I actually expected it to suck. And I came out loving it, even though it blew. I want that to happen so badly with New Moon!

What expectations do you need to get rid of in order to fully enjoy New Moon?

Moon has a theory on LTR
Talk it out further on The Forum
Deepest Loss painting from one of my fav artists, Adrienne Trafford

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273 Responses

  1. I expect it to be fucking amazing.
    But at the same time I know there is a chance I might be disappointed.
    Does that make sense?
    I’m just so excited cos New Moon is my favourite of the series. Which is HUGE since I hated it when I first read it back in Feb.

    Anywho! 15 days!!!!!

    xox

    P.S. I cheated and watched the bday scene on YouTube. Do I have to return my NM Purity ring?? I promise I didn’t watch any others! haha

    • uh oh. i say yes. You are no longer pure.
      BOO

      • Totes have to agree. You now have a taint.

        teehee

        • I agree too. Hand it over. Cheater.

      • B-b-b-but I’m sorry! :( haha
        I don’t know what came over me.
        Out of allllllll the videos on YT that’s the one I felt like I HAD to watch.
        I already knew I had no self-restraint, guess this thoroughly proved it … sort of.

    • http://www.pacdudegames.com/fail/
      ;)

  2. If you go to watch the movie with the mind set that NO movie is ever as good as the book then you cant be disappointed…
    Though personally if Bella doesnt say something along the lines of “Is this because of my soul” in the breakup scene or the whole Edward wanting to save her soul isnt touched upon in the movie i think ill be disappointed no matter how many shirtless minutes of Taylor and Rob theyve managed to squeeze in.

    • Truth! that’s the whole point of him leaving, dude. She HAS to have that conversation with Carlisle.

      • @dude – agree about the Carlisle conversation. But I also have to say that you now officially have the best screen name and avatar!

        • Thanks! That vampire teeth/ciggie pic makes me smile everytime.

  3. Unsurprisingly, I was having *just* this thought today when I finally wrote “NM Midnight Screening (woo!)” into my diary at work. You know, in case I forgot or something.

    I will have to go to the cinema at least 2, maybe 3 times, before I actually enjoy it, I think. No one will hear 50% of the dialogue the first time with all the screaming idiots. I may scream also. I will hopefully resist the urge to punch beeotches in the face.

    My top 3 “Take a Xanax and calm the hell down” moments will be:

    1. If KStew screws up the breakup/wandering in the forest mourning scene (if I’m not balling my eyes out, she’s missed the mark, and sadly I think that’ll be the case…)

    2. If Jacob and Bella kiss. NO DICE! *takes a deep breath*

    3. If there are ANY lame-ass, cringe inducing lines a la spider monkey. I will fire bomb CWs letterbox if anything that bad made it into this movie.

    Other than that I think I can deal. I’m secretly (ok maybe not so secret, seeing as I’m admitting it!) pleased to see Edward getting his ass handed to him by Felix, because I’m kinda pissed at him in this book. As Death Cab For Cutie guy said, Edward is kind of an a-hole.

    Still fasting and praying, right up until the Wednesday night!

    • Thank you for making me laughing out loud at my work reading your comment! mwahahahaa

    • Totally agree in regards to the ass kicking. I was wishing that on him before I knew it was going to happen while reading the book for the first time. I’ve always hated it when men try and pull the, “Look, this is in your best interest,” crap. How about I decide what’s fantastic for me? You not leaving me in the woods to get hypothermic, that’s fantastic for me.

      • In Edward’s defense, he left her at the edge of the woods in view of the house; she was the one who wandered away after him. On the other hand, uh, shouldn’t Alice have seen that coming?? And if that were the case, wouldn’t he have felt uber-guilty…. oh wait, he kind of gets off on the whole self-loathing thing in NM.

        Concluding my ramble: I’m pretty excited about seeing Edward getting his ass handed to him, too.

        • remember, it wouldn’t have mattered if Alice did see it coming or not… they were already gone. she couldn’t have told her anyway.

          • That’s true, but I was thinking more that she should could have told Edward what would happen, and he could have chosen otherwise. Then again, maybe she couldn’t see all the searching and ensuing drama. Had Sam already phased at that point?

            I’m thinking about this way too much.

          • Yes, Sam had already phased. Remember in the book Bella heard snuffling around her like an animal was sniffing for her. Like a tracker dog. Then Sam shows up.

            He phased.

          • She was trying not to see Bella’s future. And Sam had definitely phased. in fact I’m pretty sure one or two of the other kids had already phased. Later in the book Bella recognizes the guys from when she was lying on the couch after being found.

            God, when Sam says “Have you been hurt?” I always cry.

          • Sam was transforming before Twilight even started. He probably first transformed nearly two years before (he would’ve been 17) when the Cullens first moved to Forks.

            Alice may have told Edward she would follow, that’s why he stayed within sight of the house, but it didn’t work. Alice probably saw Bella wander deeper into the woods, called Edward (cell phones!), and he went back and left the note for Charlie so Charlie would go looking for her.

            Regardless, Edward was an a-hole when he took away Bella’s choices so an a$$ kicking is totally acceptable. I wish SM had put a tad bit more violence in her books. LOL!

          • I’m posting this WAY too late and no one will see it BUT Alice is in Alaska with Jasper. Remember he took off post-birthday?

          • You’re right, Kate. I still can’t believe he left Bella. Even with all the explanations, it seems like a really boneheaded thing to do. Sigh.

      • “that’s fantastic for me” is now my new favourite phrase!!! I agree with you wholeheartedly.

    • ” If KStew screws up the breakup/wandering in the forest mourning scene (if I’m not balling my eyes out, she’s missed the mark, and sadly I think that’ll be the case…)”

      I was JUST thinking this as I was washing the dishes, then I come read LTT and BAM, great minds.

    • Good point about it being good that Edward gets his ass kicked by Felix for a bit in New Moon. It’ll probably make Bella not look so silly for taking him back so easily after he desserted her…..since he gets his head cracked open on marble floor and all….they can just kiss and makeup ;-)

  4. “Someone will wear their New Moon burger king crown to the movie theater blocking your view” HAHAHA

    Do you think that they will get mad if I put on my big selfmade Wolf-headpiece from Halloween during the film?

    Can’t wait for the film. I will go with no expectations. I want to be surprised.
    But I know I will go with a box of kleenex. I know I will cry. I am weak as water with this kind of films.

    • I’ll be taking my couple of boxes of kleenex, too. I finally got my tickets!!! pheww

      I was worry I didn’t get them in time, just as I didn’t know that KStew and Taylor wer going to be here in Mexico, TODAY

      I felt like a total loser, and such a bad fan
      Now I’ll have to wait until next year for anyone from the cast to come. :(

      • Aw! I’m sorry Priscila! :(

  5. Preach!

    • Same here..

  6. It’s too late for my expectations to be managed… It’s going to be freaking awesome!

  7. Ahh… “Bunny”… you just hit the proverbial nail on the head… consider yourself hugged. really. i really felt the truth of what you were saying… i am so THERE.

    we all have these deep inner “expectations” but it’s so important to realize, like w/ any book to movie, a TRUE fan on the book will always be disappointed in some ways… it’s inevitable. we just have to accept that (hopefully) the ways that will be deficient will be “understandable”… you know “for the sake of time” and to make it “draw” a wider audience than just the hard-core fans of the book. i mean, i have to admit, i read Twilight b/c i actually liked the movie… i had already accepted that it was a low-budget thing that i didn’t forsee cinamatic sequals being made. i fulfilled my self w/ the story by reading it multiple times. and it worked.

    so if the movie sucks (which i honestly don’t think it will, i have eyes) i am prepared to take it for what it is. it’ll be cool in any case. that’s also why i decided, a couple of months ago, to re-re-re-read New Moon. i have read books RIGHT BEFORE i saw the movie and ALL i did the WHOLE time was make mental comparisons… no. i want to be just fuzzy enough on the smaller details that they will not scream out from the screen.

    i will be content.

    it will, on it own, not suck… i am limiting my comparison to the actual book. i refuse to actually allow myself to be disappointed by NM. (b/c i am controling my expectations)

    i trust that it will be awesome in a “stand-alone” sort of way, even if it’s not the book brought to life.

    end of rant…

    • p.s. i love that picture at the beginnign of the post.

      it’s lovely.

      • OMG! i just noticed that in my post i didn’t put “not” re-re-re-read the book!

        GEEZE LOUISE! ULTIMATE FAIL!

        that was the initial reason that i thought to write it inthe 1st place… jimminey cricket… the time change and it being a Monday have screwed up my mind…

        i’m abstaining from reading NM so it’ll be all fresh… not making the constant comparisons… i read Nights in Rodanthe (SP?) like the week before i saw the movie and it ruined it for me… “that’s not right” “that’s not how that happened…” etc… i don’t make that mistake anymore…

    • I swore off New Moon approximately in early June so I could be fuzzy. I always hate movies that I’ve just read the book (PS, I Love You; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, et al). I want to LOVE New Moon.

    • ambushed! I think a true fan understands that translating a book to screen is a complicated process. Honestly I thought he was gonna drop Emily as a character all together. but as someone’s cast as her, well, obviously that’s not the case.

      Perhaps I’m the only person who really enjoys seeing how the translation is handled. I really just love it!

      • perhaps i’m missing the inflection you intended in that comment…
        *shoulder shrug*

        i guess i should have written “end of confession” instead of “rant”… i’m tired…

        but you are certainly not “the only who really enjoys seeing how the translation is handled”… i appreciate it… and i have acted accordingly to ensure that i won’t adversely effect my reaction to NM. i don’t know what the last movie was i was ever this excited to see… really can’t compare… “this” is quite unlike me.

        hmmm…

  8. Sorry. I think it’s going to be great. I have plenty of preconceived notions about what I WANT to be in the film, but the fact is, a shirtless, muscle-ly Taylor is the only thing that matters to me. (Judge me, I do not care.)

    And after seeing the clip of PFach on yesterday’s post talking about the stitching scene, I am excited to see that too.

    I think no matter what the film is like, there is such a buildup in my brain that just BEING there to witness this will be such a release that I would love the film no matter what.

  9. I have to admit, once I realised it wasn’t an inappropriate sex change PSA for tweens, I kinda enjoyed ‘From Justin to Kelly’.

    • hahahahahahha

    • Hahahahahahaha! Amazing. <3 you!

      • In my defence, I watched it with my two gay guy friends after our recent Swayze movie marathon… I may or may not have been clutching ‘She’s Like the Wind’ on vinyl and one of the guys was possibly wearing a pink bedazzled Dirty Dancing nightdress when the offending film was selected…

        • ROFLMFAO at ‘pink bedazzled Dirty Dancing nightdress!’

    • AMAZEBALLS!! geekmagnet wins

  10. I kinda expect it to suck. I mean, look at Twilight.

    But like you, UC, I will love it even more for its lameness.

    I think that I like to make fun of Twilight and all the books more than discussing them seriously.

    • Yes, I’m with you on this. It’s not great literature. The first movie was more like a bad music video than a film. (Seriously, did Cougar Cathy shoot a lot of videos in the 90s?) But somehow both the books and the movie have wormed their way into my heart. I only tease it and mock it and laugh at myself for this *normal* obsession, because I love.

    • I so agree! My boyfriend said to me the other night, “You’re definitely more obsessed with that bog than actually with Twilight.”

      • True, I use LTT/LTR to feed my obsession, and now I find myself constantly referencing you people’s comments and Moon and UC’s posts. If I’m starting a sentence with “I can’t remember where I heard this but…” I probably read it here and don’t want to explain. My friends think I’m crazy enough. :)

        • Hehe! I am part of a novel critique group and I was editing a manuscript today and the character was a cop. When she went describe him, like 10 pages after she’d introduced him and I’d already gotten my picture of him in my head, she didn’t explain him as looking anything like Charlie, and I was like, “What?!”

          • Blasphemy!!

  11. I had really high expectations of Twilight and was disappointed. I have now lowered these and expect to be pleasantly surprised for New Moon. I read the book over a year ago, I can’t remember anything accept the major specifics, so I doubt i’ll even notice if the movie isn’t the same. I think that makes me a bad Saga fan, but I fully intend on rereading after all the films come out!

    Thanks for the reality check though UC!

    • We must have the same brain this morning b/c that is EXACTLY what I was going to say!! You took the words right out of my mouth!! Freaky! :)
      I plan on reading New Moon after I watch it but not before. I want to be surprised in how CW brought the book to life by his vision!
      P.S. That doesn’t make you a bad Saga fan. I’ve only read New Moon once!

  12. I so hope there is a spider monkey slipped in somewhere. Am I the only person in the world who cracked up at that line? why am I here again instead of working? I hope not to be disappointed. remember being really gutted they knocked the blodd testing in twi . i so cannot wait that I actually have to squeal and secretly bite something to sieve off a bit of the excitement. person nxt to me in cinema might actually have me thrown out for bodily harm. right I must work now

    • I cracked up at spider monkey too! It’s cheesy but it makes me giggle in the most embarrasingly girly way!

      • that makes two of us then!!!

        • Three. That line is so cheesing-ly awesome that I love it.

          • Ditto! I mean, I do kind of cringe when he says it, but I view it as a Buttcrack Santa kinda thing. Weird and random but quirky in a good way.

            Oh, hell, I don’t mean to sound like RP sounds at all suave or anything less than uncomfortable with the script when he says the line. It’s just odd, and endearing for its oddity.

          • Five. I so love that line.

          • I actually really love the Buttcrack Santa diner scene when she’s shaking the ketchup bottle and not squeezing it. In the extended scene she does actually squeeze it. I think what happened is they did a ton of takes and told her not to squeeze it until they decided it was the best take. Then they wouldn’t have to replace the cold french fries like 16 times.

    • I totes cracked up at that line, still do actually! It’s so stupid that it’s just too funny not to laugh at! :)

    • I thought it was funny, too–mostly ’cause I know that Rob hand-picked that line.

      He’s so…. what’s the word I’m looking for…? Oh, I know: complex. ;)

      Maybe Kristen reminds Rob of a spider-monkey, hence the line choice. Or, maybe Kristen really likes bananas… Or her favourite animal is a monkey. So many possible reasons as to why he chose that line. Let me ponder this some more…

      • CH wrote down several lines for that bit and let Rob select one. He chose spider monkey. i think it says more about CH than RP that he picked that line. I mean, how wretched were the rest?

        • they got posted at some point. they were wretched. that was the BEST line!

    • no i love the spider monkey line to and all my friends cringe when it comes on as well as the monkey man part but i LOVE it

  13. I think my biggest expectation, that I’m gonna have to get rid of, will be thinking that I will be able to hear anything after Rob and Taylor’s first scenes & shirtless scenes. I’m really trying to keep it in my head that there is no way the movie will be as good as I think it should be, but that kinda goes out the window everytime I see the trailor.

    I need to just admit it. My expectations are high and I’ll forgive stuttery-mcBlinky, occasionally British sounding American accents, stupid lines, and bad scenes, pretty much as soon as shirtless Rob comes on screen.

    • Stuttery McBlinky?! OMG, I love it.

    • thats the good thing about watching the film in germany. you may have to wait a day longer but the children are so reserved here. it will be just me the over thirtys kiwi yelling and screaming

      • Totally random but I was scrolling past and thought your little icon guy was a pair of pink thongs.

        • If mine is a thong whats yours? A dildo for multiple vagina disorder?

          • I am sorry It just slipped out and I can’t delete it. I am normally very nice!

          • That was hilarious! Don’t ever apologise on here! :)

            And I’m totes jealous of your quiet German experience. Though I especially enjoy seeing movies in a theater with a talking, squealing, whispering, excited crowd who says things like, “Oh no she didn’t!” or like when I saw Godzilla and this guy in the front row let out a loud silly scream during the climax scene when it’s silent and Godzilla dies. HAHAHAHA! PRICELESS moment I could have never had watching at home. I especially love when people clap at the end of movies. My friend who teaches Shakespeare hates that. He thinks it’s ridiculous. “It’s not theater, they can’t hear you.” and I’m like, “That’s not the point! It’s an audience participation event. Plus it supports the idea that people still enjoy showing appreciation for a good piece of entertainment. We haven’t lost that cultural tradition. For which you should be pleased.” Hrmph. bastard professor.

          • @TS….i HATE the screaming but the applause always makes me feel like we’ve all shared something special…even though we dont know each other….
            thanks for reminding me…i keep cringing thinking about the possible screams but applause at the end would be lovely…. :)

            p.s. bastard professor? LOL I know the type….

          • @illegal: Bastard professor…you know the type? Hmm…you don’t know my type. And if so, i heartily apologize. He’s caused me so much pain. The fall down sobbing and grasping at air behind the front door after he leaves after some chosen words were exchanged. Yeah, that’s the type. Then he still wants to be “just friends.”

          • my best friend/sis had a relationship with one (not a professor but older with the same views)…and it felt like my heart was gonna rip in pieces when she suddenly said that he’s breaking up with her after a few months cause he’s lost the “butterflies” in the relationship. WTF? he knew exactly what to say to break her heart. it was worse cause i had to come back to NZ right after it happened…ive never forgiven myself for that cause it felt like i was abandoning her in her misery…I still feel like curling up on the floor and sobbing my eyes out for what he did to her…and yeah he still wants to be “friends” :( and im sorry for what happened to u….*hug*

            end confession…funny ive never told anyone that…
            *gets off TS and Billy’s couch* thanks for letting me spill…

          • I’m sorry, he said, “I lost the butterflies”? Is he 40 years old? I hope so. What an idiot. Doesn’t he know that the butterflies peace out after 3 months ALWAYS. That’s why people call it “the three month mark”…i.e. the shit or get off the pot mark. COME ON!

            Wow. What a douche. That sort of confirms something I’ve thought for a while…professors are really immature. Does he teach English? I hope so. The git! What a wanker! A tosser!

            I’m sorry that your sister had to go through that. And that she couldn’t summon my energy when he used that line on her. I would’ve totally rolled my eyes and said, “Seriously, Dr. Douchebag, if you’re fucking one of your students, just tell me. I mean, I can’t guarantee that she’ll be alive tomorrow, but just tell me.” ;)

          • @illegal, Oh, and you probably should get off of me and Billy’s couch. We’re gonna be using it later if you know what I mean…

          • @illegal, ps- ignore all the professor crap…i just realized you said he wasn’t a professor. He’s still a git though.

          • hahahaha…he is a total douche…

            have fun on the couch…im just gonna drive to La Push and see if Jake’s home…or Gil….either way…s’okay…

          • @illegal, sure sure. Let me know how your car holds up through the Pacific. At least you’ll have Jake’s expert hands to fix it once you arrive.

          • @TS “you caught that huh?” (wow we’re on a Jacob roll today… thatswhatshesaid) I keep forgetting that Auckland is way away from La Push….maybe if Edward bought me some tickets…..lol

            WIN on Mechanic Jacob!
            Ever since Bruce Springsteen in the “Im on fire” vid…*shiver*

  14. I’m just going to come out and say it: visions of Buttcrack Santa. If he’s not floating around there somewhere alongside Edward with his little bottles, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sit through the movie.

    • Can’t they have a little Twilight flashback with him in? It’s not asking much, right?? ;)

    • If I could, I’d text you a photo of him three times throughout the film. They’ll be in Volterra in a really tense moment and you’ll just bust out laughing.

      That said, you better have your phone off. That’s just rude not to.

  15. So, I just flipped my wall calendar to November. The photo is a beautiful green beach scene with high cliffs. I immediately thought of La Push, right? Well, I look at the tiny caption in the corner: “Cape Flattery, Makah, Washington”. !!!!! …Emily was from Makah…just sayin’.
    *sigh* :)

    • Twilight has a connection with everything in my life, too. That’s Normal.

    • OHEMGEE! So awesome! My tear away daily calendar has a shot of 101 and it says it’s in Port Angeles. That was Oct 23rd. I still haven’t ripped it off. That’s normal.

  16. Oh…also might be slightly disappointed in the scene they’ve shown with some of the TV spots where Edward and Taylor are about to fight. Rob looks like he’s got “the claw” going on with his hand. It just makes me laugh. I think of Liar, Liar and Edward chasing around Jacob saying, “You can’t stop the CLAW!!! Run!!”

    • hahaha!

  17. Well, the only thing that is making me cringe so far is KStew’s screaming at night clip that I’ve seen. She sounds like a pig……. squealing. What. Is.That?

    Really annoying….really. Have you or I ever mourned our “Deepest Loss” by squealing? This girl needed some life lessons before tackling that scene. I will plug my ears and close my eyes when that part comes on screen.

    • KStew’s squealing/screaming after James bites her in Twilight also makes me really, really uncomfortable. I doubt I could do any better, but I do get the feeling that KStew’s life experiences haven’t provided her enough to really understand suffering… or love, for that matter.

      • um, I think ANYone could do better, tuesday.
        You just have to think about Billy Burke holding you close and whispering how much you mean to him and that he loves you while he strokes your forearm. Then you imagine him being moody and cold with you for three days like an immature ass (my boyfriend totally gets moody like that, so it’s really believable as being applicable to 40-somethings…er, not that he’s quite forty yet. Okay, I didn’t mention that. He’d kill me.). Then put yourself alone with him in the woods and he tells you what you’ve always known: He doesn’t want you. He’s leaving you without a trace for you to hope to follow. It’ll be as if he never existed in your life, like it was all just a fairytale. And you’ll know that of course it was. He never loved you anyway. You were just a fangirl amusement. Why would he love you when he has fame, money, and a beautiful wife? Why would he have ever seen you as more than a fun time, an easy lay?
        You dream about searching for something, for him. But he’s gone, he was never there. There’s nothing to search for.
        You would totally be able to scream at the top of your lungs in pure terror and sheer loss. Unable to breathe. Clutching at your sides to keep yourself whole. Mumbling Billy over and over again.

        Sigh. Now I’m going to cry just thinking about Billy Burke leaving me.

        • woah… gal, that was seriously visual… is that something you normally daydream about? *sniff-sniffle* *pass the tissue*

          • No, I just knew that tuesday would be able to best relate to being dumped by Billy Burke. Since she loves him as i do.

            I normally daydream about meeting Rob and having this really platonic but fun relationship with him, and running lines with him and he saying that I should play Kate in BD. Then him calling up D-Slade or C-Dubs and letting them know I should play Kate. And then doing a screen test with them and them being like, “Damnit. I wish we’d casted you as a main character, like Bella. Or maybe you’d like to play Sue Clearwater?” and I’d say, “Well, who’s playing Garrett?” ;)

          • I think you just broke my heart. Why Billy?? Why?!?

          • @tuesday. I’m sorry. It had to be him. I had to give you the full understanding of agony.

            And to rub salt in the wound, he’d tweet about some “fangirl” being too annoying to hang out with anymore and how obsessed she was. As if you’d ONLY been hanging out and ONLY been casual. When really he’d loved you. He so tweet about that. And everyone would write him back and laugh. Ugh. What an asshole.

            Okay, I should probably quit going over the fake relationship/break up with Billy or else I’ll dream about it tonight and actually wake up screaming…then I’ll have to explain that to my boyfriend. FAIL.

          • Twist the knife a little further… I probably am going wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night after dreaming about Billy mocking me on twitter. Why would you mock my love, Billy?!? All I ever did was love you!!

        • BIIILLLAAAAYYYYY!!!!!

          *humps leg furiously*

          Dont EVER joke about Billy leaving….EVER you hear me? U hold onto that man wit every body part uve got…do it for all of us Team Seth….

          • Sigh. ::wipes tear with Team Jacob tissue (‘cuz you know Charlie is Team Jacob):: I’ll do my best, illegal. I’ll do my best. I’ll grasp onto that undone bowtie with all my strength, all my heart, and all my soul.

          • @illegal, ps: Humps leg furiously? Whose leg are you humping, wolf girl?

          • I’m not fussy…(It IS Spring in NZ) Billy, Gil, Taylor, Wolfpack, Carlisle, Emmet, Jasper…oh and that elderly gentleman in tweed…. :)

          • Not billy. And you might wanna stay from that guy in tweed. people seem to get malicious over leg humping him. I’d say Taylor or Wolfpack is the best bet. Though, if you leg hump Gil, then you and I can hang out watching the flat screen ‘cuz I’ll be all up on Billy. You know how that is…

          • malicious? really? or should i be reading the guide to sarcasm? :)

            I’m sure Gil would love me…and then when he decides that he’s gonna marry Sue (cause obviously you’ve taken the special place in Billy’s heart) he’ll give me the leftover fish fry….it will be a sign that he’s ok with me and Jacob….u know…doing it…lol

            just realised how i keep using character and RL names..hahahahha
            ur a riot TS! <3

      • Honestly my parrot cries and sobs better than kstew..truth….I have had people that hear her over the phone ask me who that is sobbing in the backround…hey I should hire her out for a kstew voiceover!!!

    • WORD! remember one sense at a time for 2nd hand embarrassment scenes.

    • I know. Almost like a painful orgasm or something. I keep expecting her to say something along the lines of “it hurts so good!”

    • Ugh, I know! Who screams like that?? They should have done a voice over for that – I’ll bet Ashley has a great scream. And the part where she’s rushing through the fountain “arghh Edward…NOOO!” Horrifying. That will be my New Moon spider monkey embarassing moment. Without a doubt.

      • You know Chris was like, “Oh god, we’ll have to ADR this.” Then they just ran out of time.

    • TRUE! I also thought of a pig being slaughtered :-P

    • the dream scream really bothered me too – and you hear it again when they are with the Volturi and Edward is being attacked – awful – same exact sound

    • Maybe Bella caught Swine Flu after Edward left…

      *crickets*

      • Booo!!!! That was like a Vaudeville, “Take my wife, please.” moment.

        • I know! I just couldn’t stop myself!

      • Who gave me thumbs up? Are ya’ll serious? Dude!

        • I gave you the first thumbs up I think. The crickets bit was too good.

          Plus for October I made a little photoshop gag for UC & Moon to help promote swine flu and breast cancer awareness. The pics on my other computer, or else I’d post it here. It’s of one of the stuffed animal swine flus and I put a breast cancer ribbon on it. :)

  18. UC, I accept! Umm, sort of. There is just one deal breaker and that would be if Jacob and Bella k*ss (couldn’t bring myself to actually type it).

    • I appreciate your self-censorship.

  19. Amen, UC! Amen! You’re preaching to the choir here! My expectations for NM are low, because:

    1) It can’t be worse than Twilight.
    2) I’m going to love it regardless, and if it’s terrible, I might love it even more.
    and
    3) There are jorts. Nothing bad can ever happen in the presence of jorts.

    • “it can’t be worse than Twilight” – true!! so i have high hopes…

  20. Okay, bring on the thumbs down, I’m going to say it: I don’t think Robward looks hot with his shirt off in the Volterra scene. At all.

    In fact, I think the New Moon makeup makes him look a bit creepy and a lot older than 17, which might be a good thing for the movie since he’s supposed to be suffering and trying to die, but a bad thing for me if I want to ogle.

    • i agree. give me grandma-sweater Rob from vanity fair any day over Edward Cullen-Rob

      • From your lips to God’s ears. That VF sweater pic is HOT.

      • I’d be content with blanket-covered Rob from VF pics (swooon… sigh).
        This morning I got all the females in the office drooling on those pics :-)) even the resistant ones gave in and admitted that he is the hottest guy ever (don’t thank me Rob, here are some more screaming fan-girls to the crowd)!

        • My kids were sick all weekend, so I just now discovered all the hulabaloo over the VF pics. Those pics flooded my basement. The piano bench turned over, Rob on the ground….Oh. My. God.

          *thud*

      • yeah, i wanna be that corn on the cob that he is holding. you know him all up in my nooks and crannies.

    • Nope, he doesn’t look good. Which is the point, I hope.

      He kinda looks like Mr. Fang when he wakes up. Crazy ass hair, blood shot looking eyes, glazed expression.

      Maybe I have my very own Robward at home!

      • LOL!!!

    • AGREE. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the half nakedness – but imagine that boy with his full on chest hair and a TAN – now THAT’S some half nakedness I would like to see.

      You can tell I’m excited about that prospect from the use of caps there!

    • My friend says the same thing… I think I have Rob-coloured glasses ’cause I think he looks FIII-INE!

      • No glasses for me, my eyes are drawn to the V.

        • Oh that V… (fainted)

        • YES YES YES YES YES YES! I call it the abercrombie muscle, but whatever. Same thing. Swoon.

          This guy at Halloween was shirtless and had the V and I was like, “I’m so glad my boyfriend isn’t here while I stare at this beautiful man.”

          • Just because you’re on a diet, doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu. Remember these words, TS. :)

          • Don’t worry, Miss Edmonton, I never forget that.

      • Personally I am glad Edward (not Rob) looks old and worn in the pic above…makes me feel not so guilty about wanting him…yes I said it…I want him…AND I can’t help but thinking…”poor lad..come to mama ! I will make it all better” Get your minds out of the gutter..I was thinking deer soup/deep red wine/and a shoulder to nibble on…

        • I love that Rob and I have similar wrinkles. It fools me into believing we are almost the same age. Then I feel less pervy.

        • “deep red wine” I love you, Cyn. You know the way to my heart. If Billy Burke and I ever get together and then he leaves me, I’m hoping the next flight to Manchester, NH and then driving to you in Maine.

          ‘Cuz I’ll wanna drive, it’ll help me think.

          • “Cuz I’ll wanna drive. It’ll help me think” Aww TS better you put on some really good tunes and wallow while you drive….especially from NH into ME…thinking would only make you turn around…cause that is what I would do given a choice..so turn up the volume, sing sad songs way off key at the top of your lungs and then let the lil tears fall… :)

          • @MidCyn: I love that I wrote “hoping” instead of “hopping” hehehe.

            Also, I think I misquoted from Twi right there. Send me an email or reply to this tonight when you’re watching the film and get to that part where she’s leaving her dad and he doesn’t want her to drive. I think she actually says, “No, i want to drive. It’ll give me time to think.”

            Let me know!!

        • Hey, Cyn. If you get a little bored or lonesome tonight check out the photos of Rob here. They’re from our romantic weekend on the coast. ;P http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/2009/11/robert-pattinson-vanity-fair-pictures.html

          • *your* romantic weekend? Where, pray tell, are you then? ;)

          • Maine. That’s why the lobster and thick sweaters. =)

          • !!! He’s drinking a Rolling Rock. How funny..and how sad that I can recognize the label without seeing the words Rolling Rock on it.

            Anyway…in that white sweater thing he looks like a woman. I mean, what’s happening there? Another Michael Kors design?

            These are my first Rob photos…I have to say, he is pretty hot with that scruffiness on his face.

    • I have said it since that first picture of him (not the shirtless one) came out…he looks like one of the zombies from Night of the Living Dead…which is sort of ironic since he actually is a Living Dead.

    • The makeup doesn’t bother me – he is a vampire after all. It’s the dressing like a middle aged man that I find odd. I mean, isn’t the idea to “blend in.” But then, he’s away from school and the real world most of the time, so I’m trying to reserve judgement until I see his “at school” wardrobe.

      As for the Volterra scenes, I’m kind of glad he looks bad. He should look bad to match his mood!

      • You’re so right, the wardrobe that I’ve seen so far looks very out-dated. What high school senior wears tweed? Which brings up the important question: why would Alice let him dress that way?

        • Book Alice wouldn’t let him dress that way. But we’ve all seen Movie Alice. She has some wardrobe issues of her own.

  21. Alice is dressed better? UC, I know you haven’t been watching clips and spoilers, but you have seen the photos, right? The ginormous, shapeless, mortifying plaid coat they make her wear? Just to mention one misstep. One huge, shapeless misstep..

    • Agree. Even knowing that it’s Michael Kors exclusive doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

      • Ugly is ugly no matter who made it.

        • So true. Michael Kors isn’t god’s gift to mankind with that outfit.

    • So glad someone said it. That article of clothing looks just like a housecoat my Nana wears. She’s just missing the curlers in the hair and a Virginia Slim ciggie just barely hanging on her bottom lip.

      • BAHAHAHAHAHA! Virginia Slim!

    • At least she’s not wearing those ballet slippers that I bought from Target in 2004.

      • HAHA, hey watch it, I wear those shoes! Those are actually in style nowadays. I got 2 pairs of ballerina looking shoes. I refuse to wear heels eventhough I’m short :-).

        • Yeah…where do you live, again? ;)

  22. Social comments and analytics for this post…

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  23. You’re right, UC. New Moon was a powerful book. New Moon was the best of the series, IMHO (that’s right. I’m a ho), and though Twilight was different from the book, I think that the differences added to my liking/even reading the series.

    Truthfully though, I’m just stoked for Edward-hallucinations… le sigh. It’s more Rob than I expected and that makes me smile. Oh, and the Canadian connection. Thank you, Twilight for helping BC’s economy. Canada loves you. I love you. You are loved.

    • “Truthfully though, I’m just stoked for Edward-hallucinations… le sigh. It’s more Rob than I expected and that makes me smile”

      I know, right? I’m not a bit worried about him not being in a large portion of the movie, and very appreciative that CW altered the story in this way to appease the squeeing masses.

      • I think we all agree: Chris Weitz is a mofuckin’ genius! I don’t think I’d go if it wasn’t for Rob… am I bad Twi-fan? Yes, yes I am.

    • As if you even LIVE in BC, Marz.

      And you must know that there’s major incentive to shoot in Canada (that obviously no one told Cougwicke about). Anyone you hire there you get for half price because the gov’t (or similar) throws in the other half. So all the camera guys, gribs, riggers, set and props guys, and assorted others were most likely Canadian. Save the money for the CGI, that’s what Chris said. Smart man.

      That said, I love Vancouver.

      • i didn’t realize all that… very smart…

        if you save in one area you can splurg in another!

        cool… (like purple)

      • hahahahaha… I can dream I live in BC. *sigh* Rob-sightings every other year?! Yes, please! When can I move?

        Also, you’re totes right. Hence why Brokeback and The Assassination of Jesse James were shot in Alberta (my home sweet home). Cougwicke (as you’ve so aptly called her, haha!) has got NOTHING on Chris. I want to bake this man a cake.

        • ;)

          We can both dream. You can meet me at the equinox. What? That didn’t even make sense.

  24. I’ve already rolled my eyes a couple of times just watching trailers and leaks (I’m a weak woman), so I imagine I’ll have a list of grievances after opening night. That being said, I plan to be drunk and wearing a Burger King Team Edward crown and defending Robward’s honor against the jort-packers. This will be the real show. I’ve already got the bail money put aside.

    • That AAA bail card that comes with the annual membership might come in handy for ya.

    • maybe we should set up a bail money fund? Others may need it as well – and when i say others i mean me.

      • nah, bail money isn’t necessary in GA.

  25. Well at this point…it is just a matter of rewatching Rob passionately kiss Bella–and hope it is more than just the birthday kiss and the Italy kiss!!

    I hope there are some funny Emmett lines, too!!!

    I also heard there is one scene when Jacob actually has a shirt on and he’s sporting a “Team Edward” shirt!

    • Wha? Where did you hear this?

    • hahaha.

      I hope there’s good Emmett lines too! Power to the Lutz.

      • There is an awesome Emmett one liner in the latest clip. I’m assuming that you are a purity ring-wearing member of the Twiprudes if you haven’t seen it yet, so I won’t ruin it for you. It’s funny though.

        • Yeah, I got my ring solidly in place.

  26. I am actually looking forward to some cheesy ‘spider monkey’ type moments. Otherwise, what in the hale am I going to do for the next year? Surely, I can’t go back to actually working at work after all THIS.

    • I thought about committing myself to work after New Moon too. But after that one second of sanity I had to laugh, because who am I kiddin’.

  27. I take the approach I took with all the Harry Potters…don’t reread before you see it! Maybe after the 120th time seeing it or when it leaves the theater, whichever comes first, THEN reread. I was so disappointed with the Prisoner of Azkaban because I reread right before the premiere, but I refused to reread before Half-Blood Prince and I was satisfied and might possibly have loved it best (and cried like no tomorrow because I forgot how the book ending made me bawl). Like the mantra throughout
    the post: ACCEPT IT NOW!
    I can’t wait!!!! ::Fangirl squee::

    • I 100% agree. As a HP fan I can’t read the books before the movie cause I’ll just be pissed…like I was sort of let down by the whole tower scene…I wanted to see Harry struggle against the petrifcustotalus curse and see the whole thing through his eyes…but they made up for it with all the wands in the air.

    • I didn’t reread Half-Blood Prince and still was disappointed with the whole Harry-Ginny part. It seemed to me that the whole point was in this new relationship, like “let love conquer death, AMEN” thing, but I didn’t see any undying love there (not that I actually liked the actress).
      Anyway, I’m sure that I’ll love New Moon no matter what!

      • I totally agree about Harry-Ginny and the scene where Harry is frozen and has to watch everything happen. The hubs kept trying to ruin it in the theater by saying “that’s not what happened” “why’d they leave that out?” and I was like shut up and let me enjoy! Nothing is ever as good as your own imagination, but I did like HBP and GOF more than any of the others. We would probably have 5 million interpretations of all the twi-books if they didn’t just pick a director and let them work. CW has got to be better than the Cougar…he’s such a DILF so there’s no way he could be any worse.

        • Even if Chris screws up, that’s probably for the best. He’ll be subjected to more interviews and he’ll have to answer more varied questions. And he’ll have to give a lot of sheepish smiles. Swoon. (ok, the swoon was for everyone else, because no one can compare to my Burke)

    • Most def. The first two were great because they followed the books to the letter (which is what we were expecting) and then the PofA was a total shock and let down because it veered so wildly off course. Now that I’ve learned to accept that, I love watching the movies. (Except PofA. Nothing can right that horror)

      • PofA is my favourite! I do think that Gary Oldman as Sirius Black is uber hot though…especially in PofA, in the other he looks a little too haggard. doesn’t he look like Johnny Depp in this pic?

  28. I’m expecting to be a little disappointed the first time I see it. I have built it up way too much in my mind not to be. It happened with Philadelphia, it happened with Forest Gump and a few others. A movie gets tons of press and excitement buzz before the opening, I start drinking all the kool-aid and expect a Lamborghini only to get a Pinto.

    But that’s not to think that the next time I view the movie (that Friday afternoon, in fact) I will still be disappointed – once the novelty has worn off a bit and I can separate myself from my New Moon hysteria, I will appreciate the translated story on the big screen and hopefully begin to love it. It will never be the book, but no movie is…accepting that is the first step.

  29. “Kristen will stutter & blink”

    RIGHT???!!!
    Why does she DO that? Every movie she’s in, every interview, cue blink, stutter, bite lips, breathe heavy. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s great, and I hate to judge her, but, come on!

    It’s like she’s doing her own Blue Steel over and over and over…

    • BLUE STEEL! ZOOLANDER! HILARIOUS! *zing*

      (p.s. i LOVE your avatar picture… cute!)

    • BLUE STEEL!!!!!!!!!! <3 x 1,000,000

  30. I have no expectations. I have hopes that it’ll be decent – but no real expectations.

    I’m still abstaining from all the NM spoilers in an effort to keep my expectations where they are. If I don’t see anything, I can’t really expect anything right? But Summit’s making it REALLY DIFFICULT to avoid stuff these days. The purity ring is no longer strong enough, and I need to find myself a TwiPrude Chastity Belt.

    • Summit is really making staying “pure” v. difficult! I’ve begun to dvr everything i watch so i can fast forward through every group of commercials – just in case! I know they must be about to drop them into every possible show that’s primarily a female demographic – if they haven’t already. It’s challenging, but it will be worth it!

      OMG I need to do work!

      • Every show…and the World Series.

  31. I ACCEPT!!!!

    Also, my expectations ARE that it will be better than Twilight, which blew, AND I LOVED IT and still do, like you UC, so it really only has to be SLIGHTLY better than Twilight which should not be hard…seriously, it cannot be hard.

    SO, bring it on! (Again!!) It’s November!!!!! The month I have been waiting for since January!!!! Woot!
    :-)

  32. I am a card carrying Twi-Prude. I have been abstaining from trailers or spoilers or anything for awhile. Since the second one where Taylor is talking through most of it…which was a couple of months ago.

    I have no expectations. Except I want Chris to make me cry…

    • I think that Alexandre will make me cry. Le sigh.

      • If the word epiphany isn’t said I will cry

  33. As long as they don’t take huge liberties with the intent behind the books, then its ok. I mean, the details can’t get any worse than they did in Twilight.

    Greenhouse field trip? Mr. MOLINA and not Banner? I think not.
    White cabinets and not yellow ones? Pshaw.

  34. You said it exactly.

    I’m looking forward to seeing this with my fiancé (who knows I need support) and he’ll be handing me tissues when I cry my eyes out and laugh at me when I totally drool all over jorts pack.

    Eeep I can’t wait to see this!

  35. As you know, I have a different perspective. I don’t have expectations because I don’t have know the story line. The only thing I do know is that Edward leaves Bella…a fact I have yet to understand and can hardly w tolerate. I am pretty sure I have watched some clips (hangs head) but only have memory of Bella sobbing loudly…I think that sticks because (revealing a twi-secret here) My first and only other love in my life was named Edward, yup its true and he was tall, gorgeous and in a band…yeah he had it all and he broke my heart…I sobbed many a night in my pillow so I can relate. Course “my” Edward was alive and didn’t eat wild animals but other than that he was close to the “other” Edward..right down to a suped up version of the red truck (truth) so if I make it to the theater as I AM desperately trying to get over my “leave the house and face the public fear” (which becomes more intense as the day gets closer) I will take in EVERY blessed moment regardless of how good/bad the movie is without judgement or critisism because:
    1) I don’t care if its good or bad, I just want to see it!
    2) I will have conquered my fears and made my dream come true!
    3) I will FINALLY know what you have all been talking about!
    4 ) I get to see Rob on the big screen in all his glory (chills) OK that should have been #1!
    5) I can come back to LTT and discuss it w/you! Provided I survive the experience and we talk about it the same day!
    6) I will FINALLY attempt to try and read New Moon which sits next to me on the coffee table, covered in dust glaring at me, much like the Geico money thing!
    6) Then after the DVD comes out, I can look forward to another year of reading/watching another book/movie knowing that I WILL finish it!
    7) I get to see Rob on the Big Screen (yeah it deserves at least two spots!
    8) I WANT to scream and act like I am not as old as I am along with every one else in the theater!
    9) For some reason it seems SO important to “be as normal as I can” and see it like everyone else!
    By now you get it, I don’t have expectations, only anticipation! It doesn’t really matter one way or another if they make some mistakes I, in my nativity, (not sure if that is the right word) will not notice and I can just enjoy the pure joy of being there, in that moment, and I may just die from that fact alone!

    • Hey, Cyn, I don’t know where you are, but I went to get my New Moon tickets for the midnight show here in Bangor and they were sold out already. AIEE! They are, however having a 2:30 AM show. Maybe you would feel less self-concious going to the super late show?

      If not, I’ll work on getting you the bootleg copy!

      • Thanks Jodie..I <3 you so and you know that…but I would never want you to get in trouble for doing that…and it has been a very strange weekend for me in many ways..(BTW, TS and I were crazy late last night commenting back and forth..tried twitting you to join in) ANYWAY..for some reason over the weekend I became determined to try and go see it. I think I am sick of people telling me all the things I CAN'T do anymore that I started to get really annoyed and wanted to yell LET ME TRY…even if I can't…at least let me give it my best shot. I am not ready to settle for this small peice of life.

        • Bah, I have friends who buy all kinds of bootleg movies. If they can buy sucky bootleg movies for themselves, they can get bootleg New Moon for me.

          Yay! I love your attitude. =) Trying something is always best, even if it doesn’t work out. Then at least you know you tried. <3 you back!

          Maybe making short non-doctor related trips out and about will help you work up to a bustling movie theater. Have someone take you out to go pick up a pizza or to the bookstore to get Rob's issue of Vanity Fair when it comes out.

          • I don’t really have anyone to do that…hubs is working non stop just to keep our heads above water…and my daughter is working 3 jobs including weekends…my Twi-daughter lives over an hour a way. So its kinda hard to get a ride anywhere. Besides I really don’t want to stress myself out by being “out” around town in case I run into someone I know but don’t remember and the other thing is my speech is still off especially when I am nervous…but honestly Jodie, I WANT to go to this more than anything…I just have to figure it out…

          • @MidSin Ooh, bummer. I’m sorry that everyone’s so far away or busy. =( I’d totally come take you out, but my car is such a mess that would probably freak you out more than anything. ;P

            I bet if you ran into anyone you know they would totally understand if you don’t remember them or if your speech was off. You DO have a damn good excuse. And if they didn’t, I’d kick them in the kneecaps.

        • You go, Cyndi! You go!

          I’m going to wear my MidnightCyn shirt with pride! And I’ll have your NM guide done in January (will be too busy with my new contract job to finish it up before then :( ) so you can lean on that for help reading your dusty, trusty copy.

          I’m so sorry that I ditched without saying bye last night. My bf came back from work and I had to go pay attention to him.

          Anyway, I’m super excited for your resolution. Maybe if you blindfold yourself on the drive there it’ll help with the overload of stimulants? Or, on second thought, it might just make you carsick… :-|

          • Hey TS…was wondering where you went last night…kept on”talking” to myself…(but I am used to that) until I realized you were no longer answering me! LOL..Blindfold me??? Are you nuts?? Never mind I already know the answer…ahh blindfolding me…not such a good idea…I’m thinkin of a plan….wait for everyone to go to bed…sneak out of the house around 11:30 and try to find my way to the theater for the 2:30 am showing that Jodie O was talking about…no one I know would ever be out that late..you said its about 200 mins long..so if I figure in the time it will take me to find my way home I should make it in and on the couch by 6:30 a.m. right before the hubs gets up! Course I haven’t worked out a few bugs…like the fact I haven’t driven the new car, or any car for that matter for 3 years, don’t have a license, get lost in my own backyard, have no sense of direction or even where the theater is, haven’t found where the hubs hid my keys, don’t know the new passwords to my debit cards and don’t have access to cash, can’t see at night….ummm I think that about covers it…but I am working on it….

          • Wait, so, if you tell your Twi-hard daughter that you wanna go see it (at 2:30am in Bangor…by the way I’m not going to the midnight showing, so you can just go during the day on Friday and still “be normal”) she won’t take you to it? I don’t understand.

          • @TeamSeth
            Its not that she won’t take me..its that she can’t…first she lives an hour away from me and two she is on call that whole weekend…believe me…she is holding her own pity party! :) Still formulating my plan of escape tho…found my keys tonight after everyone went to bed…lol..ONE down…few more to go…Oh I did forget about the dogs tho…they will bark if I open the door in the middle of the night…damn…back to the planning board…

    • I can’t freakin’ wait to hear from you on the day after, ’cause we all know you can do it!

      • Ahhh I wouldn’t be too sure of that….but I WILL BE HERE the day after to read EVERYTHING you all have to say… :)

        • MIdCyn – It’s funny you said that because I was just thinking that I would probably sadly have the stay away from LTT “the day after” since I’m not going to see New Moon opening day. I need to see it before I read what everyone else things! But it will be hard for me to stay away!

          • Hey Ang..missed you last night…TS and I were on a roll till she bailed on me….I have a thought…we could spend “THE day after” doing something together…like email each other ALL day debating which one of us is the most miserable that we couldn’t see the movie, how many tissues we used to wipe away the “loser” tears, what comfort foods we enjoyed the most, how many different ways we took out our frustration on others who swore the most and who used cockblocked first, etc., we could just go back and forth till our fingertips bled which will give us a whole new topic…we can even play…..Who can go the longest without mentioning any of the following: NM, LTT, Edward, Rob, Jake, Bella, etc., in any sentence..get my drift? Whatcha think??

          • MidnightCyn – I love it! Great idea! Did TS send you my e-mail address the other night when she agreed to be our pimp? Haha!

          • @Ang..I don’t know haven’t checked…will do tho! But knowing TS if she was asked to pimp out..she did..LOL

          • It’s going to be hard not to come to LTT on Friday for me too. I’m going to see it on Friday, possibly in the evening. I’ll be going through LTT withdraws!

        • I think I will stay away too because I doubt I’ll watch New Moon on opening night. :-(

          Ang and I will have our own pity party, right Ang?

          • If you could see me, you’d see me sticking my lower lip out in pity now. Just getting ready.

          • HEY SB what about me..?? I had made a whole plan for Ang and I and I woud have included YOU!!! SAD FACE AND TEARDROP!!!

    • 1-2) YEAH!
      3) :)
      4) heh…that’ll be good, maybe orgasmic…
      5) hell yeah!
      6a) HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA The Geico money thing!!!!! SOOO funny. I think that’s so clever because it’s so cheap to do, yet so funny and memorable. Geico’s advertising group is brilliant.
      6b) YAY!
      7) See response to 4.
      9) You know how much it would mean to me if you go see it like everyone else. You should definitely go and try. Once you’re in the movie, you won’t have to deal with any distractions for 200 minutes. If anyone looks at you funny, just give them the KStew glare. Hells yeah. And just make your twi-hard daughter do all the talking for you. If you fall, just ask everyone if they liked your Bella impression.

      I super <3 you.

  36. I accepted a long time ago that no matter how much $$ the added to the budget I am still gonna cringe with 2nd hand embarrassment when they show Edward sparkling. Tho I am hoping to be so distracted by Rob’s painted on abs that I won’t exactly notice the sparkle for the first few times around ;)

  37. I’m pretty sure that for me seeing New Moon for the first time will be like having sex for the first time: all blurry and like in a dream, with no details in memory afterwards (yeah, I may or may not have been a wee-bit drunk), so I’ll love it and definitely will not notice any cheese or slips (because I’ll go all fan-girl and cry), but after I watch it for the ump-teenth time, of course, I’ll see all the “spider monkey”s, stuttering and “look Bella it’s a worm”s, which won’t make me love it any less.

  38. Thank you, friendly neighborhood expectation manager. Feeling better already.

  39. You are saying that Rob will not be naked??!! Really, are you sure? Damn, Damn, Damn! What a waste of 8 bucks!!

    *My expectations are not that high! If it is awesome, then that is great, but if it really sucks, then I will look forward to UC and Moon’s awesome posts about how much it sucks! It is a win – win situation for me!!

    • Good thing thursdays are student nights at the theater here. My ticket was only six seventy-five. ;)

      • Damn!! No naked Rob and my ticket was an extra $1.25. I am so going back to college! Thanks kitkat, now I feel really old! Luvs!

  40. Discussion on soulpancake.com:

    http://www.soulpancake.com/discussion/blog/1455339/cinematic-scars.html

    Twilight & Jeepers Creepers seem to be the most mentioned movies on the list of “cinematic scars” in the comments. Kinda sad…

  41. Yeah! Preach it!!!!

    Honestly I don’t think I’m gonna be dissapointed in New Moon at all!!! Rob’s there, shirtless, hello there! :-) Oohlala!

  42. Oh, UC….you. are. my. hero.

    Took the words right out of my mouth!

    All that said I have still bound and gagged my inner 13 year old and I keep telling her she can’t come out until Nov. 20th…..but, it ain’t going so well!

    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

    Obird ;)

  43. Bunny, your last paragraph is perfect – should be memorized – especially the Rob-naked part…but it’s so true…

    we are different, the people that make the movies are different. But we all have one thing in common (including the DILF) that we’ve all experienced loss on one level or another…i ‘m hopeful Chris will pull that off somehow…

    (by the way – UC = love)

  44. The part of the book I most want to see depicted on screen? October – November – December… The angst in those words and blank pages gives me chills every time I think about it.
    I expect it to be awesome. I also expect KStew to ruin it a bit for me, but for the most part, I expect awesomeness.
    The soundtrack is so good, so ethereal, so emotional, I can’t wait to see the movie that goes with those songs.

    Bonus for me – I get to see it Nov. 18 at a press screening. Yee Haw!

    • A yeehaw shout to Bellasnemesis!!!! Lucky you!!!!

  45. […] could go on. . .but I won’t.   Mainly because Letters to Twilight has pulled me out of my rant and urges me to set realistic expectations in this poignant letter.  […]

  46. True! Perfectly stated!

    I remember when I saw “Twilight” there was a teen, well she looked more like she was 12 and she probably was, in the bathroom crying with her Edward shirt on and her mother was standing over her telling her that she’s too much of a purest and they had to do this and that for time, etc and I remember walking to the stall going “oh give me an effing break!” You can’t have it all in there!

    I expect the same thing to happen with New Moon but I’m not bothered by it because it’s expected in a film adaptation. AND it’s gonna kick some serious ass! It’s gonna be awesome! Trust! Plus it’s got Rob in it. And also has Rob in it. And then it’ll have Rob in it. Oh and it’s also going to have Rob in it. Did I mention Rob will be in it?

    “Cathy Hardi is sipping her Ultimate Pina Colada at TGIFridays saying “suckaassss” right now”
    She should be! LOL LOL!

  47. Already had a nightmare that the movie was so awful that I walked out of the theatre.

    Hello, a nightmare about New Moon. I need help.

    • oooo, come in and lie down on my couch here……

    • @brooke, isn’t NM all about nightmares? It’s just your subconcious telling you that you’re still in love with Waylon Forge.

  48. I knew I will feel like that…. I had so high expectations on the books, which I read first, and they were freakin’ awesome. And I thought the movie were gonna suck. And it didn’t! At least not the first time…

    I hope I’ll love New Moon. At least the first time I see it.

  49. UC, sometimes I want to marry you… I wouldn’t even ask for your real name.

    …which probably why ya’ll posted about the Real UC/Moon a while back….

    huh.

    • (remember they never actually told us thier real names… “Bunny” & “Noreen” were fake too…

      annon… so annon…

  50. “This is why I cannot wait for the movie. Plus it has Rob. And the wolfpack. Shirtless. Plus Rob shirtless. And Taylor. And Rob. And was directed by Chris Weitz, DILF of the year. Plus Alice is dressed better. And Jasper has that awful wig that will provide countless jokes for months to come. And Rob. Shirtless”

    ROFLMAO even though i have an exam today :(

    Things i need to ACCEPT….

    1) there will be no jacob bella kiss (cringes) so i will have to go home and photoshop my face in my dreams and take up where they left off..(yeah yeah…illegal…)

    2)there will be tiny girls wearing jacob tees, who only just converted cause Taylor got hot….(and i WILL feel like lecturing to them and looking smug as an early convert…but i cant cause im old)

    3) people will scream when rob and taylor take their shirts off…i will die of 1st and 2nd hand embaressment a thousand times over…

    4) I will forever regret the train wreck that is Twilight and imagine what it could have been in the DILF’s capable hands…(I KNOW hes got ‘em)

    and finally

    c) (lol my genius knows no bounds) there will be no naked anyone…which is sad…cause it would have kept the underage crazies away….and fueled my dreams for the next year….sigh…until BD then….

    have a good day guys…hoping School-ward will be my lucky charm…(or jacob in that uniform…mmmm…tie…) ok maybe not…i need my wits about me…cheating is hard but so worth it…..lol

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