What a difference a year makes – Taylor Lautner then and now!

One of these things is not like the other

One of these things is not like the other

Dear Taylor, (have I ever written JUST you?)

It seems like just yesterday that you were that little kid who played Jacob Black with the bad wig in Twilight. The same dude who looked like a nerd on the red carpet at the Twilight premiere with your popped collar and bad sonic-the-hedgehog hair. But boy, how times have changed. It doesn’t seem like a day goes by without some picture hitting the interwebs of you looking like a hot piece. Now I know we already border on the possibly inappropriate with you but we’re the same age as the chicks on your movie set, so no harm no foul, right? And well we’re moving to Georgia till February when all this is legal, anyway so don’t worry, Chris Hansen is alright with it. I asked.

The other day I was sending UC OLD pictures of you and we were laughing our faces off at dorky you were and then I started sending over some new ones and it struck me: MY what a difference a year makes… from popped collars to soaked suits in the pool, you’ve come a long way Taylor. And since I can’t get enough of charts and turning normal business tools into tools of “mass Twilight shenanigans,” I present you with the “Then and Now: Taylor Lautner, what a difference a year makes” time line…

Click to enlarge, it's HUGE (that's what she said)

Click to enlarge, it's HUGE (that's what she said)

Your life in a timeline… I especially enjoy the glimpse into the future circa 2049… I bet it’s like looking into a mirror for Big Daddy. So if you’re keeping track you can print this out to add to your Twilight business documents folder. You know the one next to that folder you keep your fanfic in at work. Yup, that one.

Take the cut for a little treat
taylorwetheadspin
Taylor, WTF is going on here?! Like I told the twitter folks, I don’t know whether this turns me on or just makes me confuzzeled.

Back to not having a life,
Themoonisdown

So did I miss anything? What’s your favorite stage of Taylor’s “blossoming?” hahaha I said blossoming. It’s late.

Don’t miss out on Rob Answering stuff at LTR
Chart the years in the forum
SPECIAL NOTE: Today is the LAST day to enter the Imma Contest! Send in your entries NOW!!!

Thanks to Taylor Lautner Source for not sucking and having awesome pics!

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231 Responses

  1. Oh bless.
    Love it!

  2. hmmm, well i dont know about that last pic.. you know the one where he’s all wet and showing off all his positions?
    maybe its because im so used to Robs pics – Rob’s photos are always like “i make no effort in anything. effort is so uncool” – which i love. LOVE.

    Taytays pics just ooze effort. meh.

    • “effort is so uncool” <– Spot on, Vi. Spot on. LOL

    • “Taytay pics just ooze effort”
      Now I finally get what’s been bothering me about Taylor. Epiphany time!

      • Yeah, I’ve always thought this about Taylor. He tries a teensy bit too hard. It’s endearing, though. And it also means he’s eager to please, ifyouknowwhatimsayin.

        Maybe I should have saved this comment for February.

        • eager to please… ahhh..

          that’s what HE said…

    • Now I can’t help imagining Rob in all of Taylor’s effort-oozing pictures. Particularly the wet breakdancing one. Rob would pull a muscle just trying to get one foot in the air, much less his whole back end.

      • Truth.

    • Taylor is very much like a “Disney” kids. Like he spent some time on the Mousketeers with Brtiney and Justin.

    • I think the pic makes him look like he’s beggin’ to take it from behind. Oops, was that inappropriate?

      • he’s SOOO disney it hurts sometimes.

        also thought on several 2nd glances that upside down wet pic was what you thought team seth. OOPSIE

        • Wow, you totally used the word “wet” in that sentence. Just sayin’

  3. I feel REAL pervy when it comes to boy-man Taylor – I can’t call him a man-boy because he is a boy in a man’s body, so the boy must come first. I feel like (Lawd forgive me) but those guys who were waiting for the Olson twins to turn 18. I have very little respect for myself because I didn’t start having these perv-like feelings until he busted out the guns early this year but still I had them and I’m ashamed and deserve very little respect.

    He is just a child and I’m old enough to be his hot aunt but still it’s dirty, very dirty. When he appeared at the VMA’s in that Calvin Klein suit looking like, well, looking like – I can’t even type it, I knew then I had offically turned into one of the Olson twin perv waiters.

    So Dear Lord, Big Daddy, & Mrs. Lautner,

    Forgive me of my pervy thoughts and please let me not get busted by the perv police because I know I won’t do well in jail, first-off, I’ll be someone’s bottom be-yotch and I’m not ready for that just yet because technically I’m still a fake lesbian and more importantly, I’m black and I don’t do well without a regular supply of hair care products.

    In the name that is all holy,
    Ashamed hot-auntie

    • ROFL!!!! oh-my-goodness…

      @TJB – i started to say “maybe you need some alone time…” but on second thought, STAY W/ THE GROUP! you’ll just getn into trouble on your own…

      hee-hee…

    • Love it!

    • My stomach hurts, I’m laughing so hard. The whole comment is hilarious, but especially this:

      ‘technically I’m still a fake lesbian and more importantly, I’m black and I don’t do well without a regular supply of hair care products’

      Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

    • that’s why i called it “the awakening” he was a little kid and them BAM. woah.

      and please dont leave me without hair products either. i couldnt do it

    • OMG!! I’m with ya on this one girl…hey, maybe we can be “bunkies”!! LOL!

    • hahahaha! I’m with you, I could be Taylor Lautner ‘s hot aunt, or even mom (yikes) and he still looks good to me. You think food in prison is as bad as they say?

    • LOVED THE ENTIRE POST! but especially….”more importantly, I’m black and I don’t do well without a regular supply of hair care products”

      HAHAHAHAHAHA! ROTFLMBO!! im black too and entirely understand the whole no hair care products thing. it’d be a wrap. and luckily for me….although i AM older than him….its only by 4ish years….so when february comes, i’ll have to go pay him a visit. does that sound stalkerish?? maybe i should just “happen” to be at the local pizza place he often frequents and act like im not ready to get married and have his babies. yeah….that’ll catch him off guard. =)

  4. Future ‘Big Daddy Taylor’ Years pic are creepy as Hale!

    It’s insane how he went from dorky child to ab-alicious man-boy. Or, more accurately, how I went from ‘who’s that boy in the questionable wig?’ to borderline child pervert (I’m not quite there, I’m all about DrunkRob).

    PS: The wet weird position pic definitely works for me.

    PPS: I feel dirty now…

    • I think we should take a minute to praise Chris Weitz for mandating those “30 pounds [of solid muscle] heavier”

      • Praised be to Weitz!

        • more reasons i (rob and i) will name our first born male CHRIS

  5. 2049 Tay scares the shit out of me! Deal breaker..

    • he looks like a glow worm. i laughed my ass off last night

  6. “paroled for good behaviour” Hahahaha.
    As least you’ll have 40 years for perfecting fake-lesbianism.

    • i’m pretty sure we’ll be real lesbians by then. gets kinda lonely in jail…

      • I’ll slip some coke in Ashley’s bag the next time she and I meet at the airport. (but after they finished filming Breaking Dawn of course)

  7. I love that we are throwing a party for your release in 2049. It’s gonna be a good time!

    I had the same reaction to that photo.. the odd position, the grumpy look on his face, the shoes with no socks.. confusing. Mainly confusing because I can’t decide if or why it’s hot.

  8. Comic Con to present Taylor is so yummy. Pre-Comic Con Taylor is practically a fetus he looks so young. Ah what muscles can do…

    And TY Moon for another awesome flow chart. I could never see the resemblance between Taylor and either of the parental Lautners until that pic of Big Daddy and 2049 Taylor. Now I see it!

    • We should just call Pre-Comic Con Lautner Nudger. (sorry fangbanger, I know how much you hate that word)

      • Thank you for taking my feelings into consideration.

        I am seriously thinking that I want everyone in RL to refer to me as fangbanger now. It is quite the opposite of my real name (Angel).

        The term, “Nudger,” still sucks.

  9. I am juset so pissed off at myself for even LIKING the dog…seriously…not only is he illegal, but I am not supposed to like anything about Jacob in the movie…but he’s making this very difficult

  10. Little Taylor was one creepy try-hard. Glad he grew out of the sonic-hair.

    A little off-topic here, but has anyone seen that vid on nmm.org of Alex Meraz doing capoeira? Move over Taylor!

    • AND he’s already legal! Just think of how all that physicality would translate….(Meow, instead or Roar since I don’t feel like quite as much of a cougar anymore).

      • So legal, and older than Rob.

  11. *sigh* i just want to lick him. i def would let him eat crackers in my bed. i will be taking a bib to new moon so i don’t drool all over myself because of all the fuckhotness!

  12. Boooring. Call me when he’s old enough to drink and slur his way through national broadcasts. DrunkTay all the way.

    • HAHAHAHAHA! I both <3 and miss your face!

    • Yesssss!

    • YESSSS. I bet he’s a giggly drunk.

    • I bet Taylor is a mean and belligerent drunk! I can’t see him being any MORE happy and sqeal-laughy than he is sober- it hurts my ears to think about. No, no, no he’ll be making good use of the broadcast delay.

    • An almost as hot version of Billy Burke…

      Have I ever mentioned that the restaurants up here in Portland call it Vitamin R on their menus? FanTasTic!

      • TS – call “what” Vitmn. R?

        • Charlie’s beer. Ranier = Vitamin R.

          Oh, and here’s hoping DrunkTay mentions something about fecal matter. Right before he outs Robsten.

        • As StotheP said, Mt Rainer beer. It’s not really any good. I am a beer snob though, oh wait, this is ambushed, so are you. If you are watching Twilight he is drinking it throughout the whole film (and I’m pretty sure they’re using actual beer on set for him heh ALCHY!) Anyway, in the scene where Billy Black brings over Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry and they’re going to watch the game on the flatscreen right after the crazy eyes btwn E and Billy scene (I always yell out “Crazy eyes!” whenever that happens…now I might start saying “Mornin’ hellbeast!” “Mornin’ minor character.”), Charlie puts a 12 (or 24?) pack of Mt Rainer beer in Billy’s lap and says, “Vitamin R!” then wheels him towards the excessive steep pitched stairs that would be impossible to get Billy up in his chair. Just so you know where it ties to Twilight ;)

          • “Excessive steep pitched stairs” LMFAO.

            I’m guessing the filming directions went something like this:

            – Cue BB wheeling GB up sidewalk toward house
            – Pan around sidewalk, end with view of BB & GB approaching front porch
            – SHIT! Cut to KS! Cut to KS!

          • According to the cougar commentary, that’s exactly what happened.

  13. I did some sleuthing, because I’m a nerd and totally in denial about having to go to work this morning, and I just found that the age of consent is actually 16 or 17 in most states in this fine nation.

    But even better? The age of consent in Canada is 16. You know who’s in Canada right now?

    Um, can I win the Perv of the Day award?

    • Perv of the Day Award! Right here!

    • *clapping*

      • *bows*

        I’m so proud!

  14. After LTT posted that last pic on Twitter last night, I was trying to download the pic on my phone. I would only let me see what I thought was the elbow. Now I see it was his leg.

    I think he is cute but cute in the way that my 15 year old brother is.

    • Someone just hates me. I say really nice things and get down thumbs.

      *Runs away crying.

      • I think they were displeased with the 15-year-old brother part. Many save that comment for Boo Boo Radley. Is that his name or am I just doing a To Kill a Mockingbird fall back here?

        • I was doing that. It’s Stewart.

          • Well. As my 15 year old brother doesn’t look like he is 5 1/2 but looks more like Taylor, I can say that.

            & Boo Boo Radley HAHA!

  15. Yeah…that last picture is a little off, but still appealing in a creepy way.

    Love the flowchart! LMAO at Chris Hanson and the lockdown.

    I think Taylor is great. Thanks for showing the love.

  16. Maybe he could try the WWF. The upside down pic is cool. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • great insight bobby! know what else is cool? purple!

    • I heart you bobbygee. Especially for your love of football. And snappy comments.

  17. Some of Taylor’s pic make me just think What the BUCK!!
    His hotness is just upsetting! LOL

    • hahah what the buck! classic

  18. LMAO @ “bad sonic-the-hedgehog hair” and the big daddy years!

    I’m kind of weird about Taylor. I think he’s very nice to look at, but it’s more like I’m admiring a work of art. No real attraction here.

    • hear-hear!

  19. MAJOR epiphany just now: I can’t get into TayTay because I can’t get over the early years! It was too drastic of a change. I still see him as the tiny slightly creepy sharkboy. Gah.

    Also, Big Daddy Taylor? Died. I shouldn’t be viewing these things on my work computer because it’s the slowest/oldest POS ever and freezes all the time. It’s a little awkward when someone stops by and a shirtless 17 yr old is stuck up on my screen……

    I’m an enormous fan of using traditional business programs for “mass Twilight shenanigans”. You just holla if you ever need a lady to hook you up with a sweet flow diagram — this ancient laptop of mine comes equipped with Visio. Word.

    • seriously, the abrupt change, “the awakening” if you will was so overnight it was alarming! i remember seeing those pics of him by the car going WTF?!!!

      and i think we may need a venn diagram soon!

  20. Yesterday I said I <3 Moon and got a thumbs down, so today I say I hate you Moon, and by saying I hate you…you know what that means.

    I LOVE your time lines and other graphics though. No hate there.

    • i can’t wait to drink bacon drinks with you this weekend

      • Bacon Drinks RULE!

        • what the heck i a bacon drinK?

          is that an “inside joke” that i’m “outside”?

          jus’ wonderin’…

          • Nope I once ordered a drink in front of a couple bloggy friends that was made with Bacon Infused Vodka. No, it didn’t taste like bacon, and it was a bloody mary. But it was, I guess something I am known for. :)

          • ohhhhh, okay. i am now up-to-date…

            i am really more of a Dark Beer kinda gal, but i’ll hafta look for that…

          • ambushed, have you tried Flying Dog’s Imperial Porter? It’s so delicious.

            Janetrigs, who I always forget if you explained yourself as jane or janet, I’m so jealous you get to hang w/ UC.

          • nope, not yet… i wrote it down, so i’ll look for it.

            thanks for the recommendation. i’m normally a Guinness Gal or Youngs Double Chocolate Stout Chick.

            i can’t wait to try something new!

          • I always think Guiness taste like water. So, you can rest assured that I like heavy beers…like 1 a sitting beers that when you stand up you immediately fall over. Though the Tucan “Lovely Day for a Guiness” advert is unbelievably fabulous.

            Give it a whirl, i don’t think it’ll disappoint. Esp. if you dig the chocolate stouts. There’s an oatmeal stout that’s pretty great, but I can’t remember the maker right now.

            Um, ps, can we please be RL friends?

    • i gave you a thumbs down just because!
      <3

  21. Umm..about that TwitPic…I saw a porno once where a guy was laying like that…it didn’t end well for him either…

    • that’s what I got from the picture…. guy on guy porn action.

      • Aw. Come on, dammit. I think you just ruined that pic for me….. :P

      • I got a thumbs down!

        • Surely a mistake, an intended thumbs up but too much snickering cause a slip of the mouse. Can’t undo it once it’s done.


  22. this is all i can think when i look at that picture.

    • darnit, no html? fine. no lols for you guys. :(
      well, no MORE lols, anyway. there were already plenty here….

      • i think you can do html! i do!

        • i tried to embed something and it ignored me and only posted the text part of my comment. and i was sad. i don’t think it’s enabled in the comments, unless i’m doing something wrong……
          anyhoo, if you know something i don’t here, holla, please. a picture is worth 1,0000 words, right? right?

          • Use HTML coding. For links it’s type your text here (aka Taylor is Worth 1000 Words)

            Except don’t use any spaces!

          • UGH. Apparently you can use spaces! Okay let me give it another whirl:

            Do each thing within these brackets
            open bracket a href=”http://url.com” close bracket
            Type in what you want to call the link…TayTay is My OompaLoompa
            open bracket /a close bracket

            make sense?

  23. I <3 your charts.

    My little sister has a huge crush on Taycob. I just don't get it. Sure, he's adorable and muscle-y… But sexy? Meh. Chris Hanson, you can leave now… I was just looking.

    p.s. and a little off-topic- I kept promising a link to the ff featuring an understandabley angry Edward after the Jacob kiss in the woods… here are the goods: http://www.twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=2838

    • OMG. I effing love you for that link…. *muah*

    • Waahhh….link doesn’t work. I think your posting of it here crashed them! lol

      • Oh no! hahaha, I hope the author/Twilighted.net won’t be mad. You do have to be registered on their website to read it.

        • I am registered…it eventually came up. Whew!! Thanks for the link!

    • OH, KATIE S! Thank you, friend. If only THAT had been in the book!

      Sparklepeen!!!

      • You’re most welcome! I love to pass on the Sparkle Peen when I find it… After I’m done with it, at least. ;)

        I’m totally still waiting for my pervy ff-dork award… gawwwwd….

  24. Big Daddy Taylor in 2049, OH MY GOSH HILARIOUS!

    And like I said on twitter last night, that new photo of Taylor is his “Welcome to Georgia” dance!

  25. It’s easy to explain that weird photo…
    It’s not actually Taylor. It’s KStew, only with Taylor’s head photoshopped on!
    Now it makes sense….

    • FTW.

  26. Ok Moon, I LOVE your charts. They are hilarious!!

    • me too. i hope you do them at work and are getting paid while you make them.

  27. Ok, couple things about TaytorTot…

    1) I don’t think of him as Shark Boy…I think of him in that Steve Martin movie…the one where he had like 12 kids with Bonnie Hunt…shit I can’t remember the name but it was the 2nd one in that awesome fanchise…TaytorTot played Eugene Levy’s son. SO I just think he’s gonna end up with GIGANTIC eyebrows soon.

    2) I live in Georgia and I am petitioning to rename my hometown from PTC to Cougartown.

    • ROTFLMAO! Especially about the eyebrows!

    • Cheaper By the Dozen

      • YES!!! and when I first read this I thought it said Creeper by the Dozen. And that would be appropriate too.

  28. Future LL Cool T (as Taylor will henceforth be known to me) looks like Ethan Suplee from his Mallrats days. Thank God I’ll probably be long dead from alcohol poisoning by 2049 and won’t have to see it.

    • LL Cool T? Hahahhaa! WIN!

      • Moon gets the win. She came up with it in her most excellent timeline.

    • It’s a schooner.

      You dumb bastard. It’s not a schooner, it’s a sailboat.

      A schooner is a sailboat, stupidhead.

      • I want to give you thumbs up infinity for this.

        • Mallrats is like crack to me. I still watch it weekly on the VHS tape I bought in 1996. I’ve always believed that the Superman/Lois Lane conversation relates directly to Edward and Bella. “Lois could never have Superman’s baby.” SMeyer should have been schooled in some Kevin Smith movies.

          • You’re a hero of mine now.

    • YEAAA you got it tiffany!! sometimes i put those things in going “no ones gonna get that” and then they do!!!

  29. Morning everyone.. :)

    • Morning! Nice new avatar!

    • Morning!

      I worried about you!

    • There you are! Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick!

    • How are your eyes?

  30. SHARKBOY! http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Sharkboy-Lavagirl-02.jpg

    I took my lil cuz to see this… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to think of Taylor as a grown dude. Sure, he’s good looking, but Taycob’s for the younger Twi-fans, and Robward is for us big girls ;) We can handle Rob… *wiggles eyebrows*

    • And billy burke is for us big girls who dig older men. *wiggles eyebrows and lusts a little more*

      swoon.

      • Sigh, thanks for that. I needed a Billy Burke pick-me-up. ;)

        • That’s what I like to hear…maybe I’ll pull a Nearly22/FangBanger and change my name to TeamCharlie. Mmmmmmmmm

        • Okay, some Billy Burke lovin’ just for you tuesdaymidnight!!

          Love the salt ‘n peppa beard
          Okay, wait he’s born in 66? No friggin’ way
          Well, if you’re gonna single me out like that, sure you can my dignity
          So, you can see in this pic that his eyes are identical in color to my eyes. Cutest babies EVER!
          A super hot photo AND interview (totally didn’t read the interview, so it might be lame)
          His wife, the lovely Pollyana Rose who I would become a fake lesbian for in a hot second
          Their baby, born during Twilight filming, who is sporting some crocs, but missing the jorts…

          ENJOY!!!!!!!!

          • ps, read the interview. So good. They asked “What do you want to say to your fans?” and he replied, “Where are you? I’m really not as much of an A-hole as I sound like in this interview.” Um, I’m right here! I’m totes fan girling you and following you on twitter and I will drive the 5 hours and 4 minutes to Vancouver to watch you with binoculars from afar, even with your copstache. And I want to play Sue Clearwater hardcore in BD, but I’m not old enough, so I’m going to have to deal with just playing Kate and praying that Garrett is casted as someone fairly attractive and equally rugged (um, hand in hand!) and that you happen to have to be on set that day even though we won’t have any scenes together.

          • Oh my god, I LOVE you!!!

            I’m so jealous of whoever plays Sue Clearwater. I’m not old enough either… or Native American… or an actress… and I don’t know what it is about it, but that copstache makes him that much hotter to me.

            Thanks for the pics! How is it even possible that he is 42 years old (because sadly I know that his birthday isn’t until November)?? Sigh… he truly is the DILF of DILFs. Going to read interview now…

          • Okay, as of this moment, I’m officially Team Billy. My Billy Porn folder now has more photos than my Rob Porn folder. The last picture from the interview with the untied bow tie? Yeah, sorry family, that’s my new desktop photo.

          • It’s Nov 25. Just sayin’. So how great was that interview?! I so much loved the part about David Bowie. And of course those PHOTOS. Yeah, the bow untie pic is his twitter’s bg image. Sex appeal. I’m so happy I found someone to fanwoman over billy burke with.

          • And he knew Alice in Chains back in their heyday! Though I think my favorite has to be: How did you get into acting?

            “I fucked a casting director.”

            He’s snarky. Oh how I love snarky. So glad I found someone to fanwoman with too, we should get together and make Team Copstache t-shirts.

      • NICE! Hahaha, especially liked the added touch of you adding the BB pic. Twilight has something for everyone!

        Jailbait – Taylor
        Sex – Rob
        Sugar Daddy- Billy

        Genius! ;)

  31. I’ve missed everyone so much! Still can’t really read much but have two hands today! So easier to type tho stil slow..trying to find how to switch to capital leters to see if that helps to see what your riting.and have to figure out how to send in my entry. couldnt do photoshop but a slideshow thing..there is a button for twitter but I cant read what it says..lol..never boring except it has been caused I missed everyone here so much and laughing with you… xoxo

    • TOTES GLAD YOU ARE BACK! HOPE ALL IS WELL!

      (NOT YELLING, JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT EASIER ON YOUR EYES!)

      • THANK YOU..MUCH EASIER TO SEE WITH IT IN CAPITALS…GETTING BETTER EVERY DAY! I HAVE MISSED EVERYONE SO MUCH…GONNA NEED A RECAP ON ALL THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON!!

  32. Dude, you are so amazing at this…turning normal business tools into tools of “mass Twilight shenanigans,” either you are some kind of whiz kid over there, or you have more hours in the day than the rest of us. Can I borrow your time-turner sometime? Seriously impressive AND hilarious!!!

    2049 is seriously freaking me out!! I’ll bring you cupcakes while you are in the joint.

    • will they be “magic” cupcakes? you know… the “special ones”?!

    • points for time turner.

  33. i need to stop reading this at work really. i do feel kinda dirty thinking he is hot. since he is like what 17 and i am 29+1!

    • That’s nothing. My SO is 13 years and 3 days my senior. Just enjoy the sex appeal. They can’t arrest you for your fantasies…this isn’t Big Brother!

    • 29+ quite a bit more than 1…talk about feeling dirty; It takes on a whole new level of pervy when you are thinking these things and then look across your desk at a picture of your son and realize that one day someone could be saying the same thing about him.

      • No!!!!!!!!!! Why did you go there with the son thing!!!!

        I’m RUINED! RUINED! (if anyone gets that reference I will be your BFF for, well, forever obv.)

        • Spider Man or Erin Andrews?

          • Clerks: The Animated Series. It’s a cult classic. (not the movie, but the actual animated series)

          • Um, so actually it’s “We’re ruined, ruined!” but you know, I have to adapt it to context. Here’s the vid clip @KevinSmith, can I get some royalties?

          • YES!!! I have six words for you:

            “Why are we walking like this?”

          • Okay tuesdaymidnight, where do you live? Seriously though, I need more female friends here. I fucking love you. (too buzzed on wine to edit the “fuck” out) LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! Last time on clerks ::static:: “I hate you Matt Damon!” “Who is driving? Bear is driving! How can that be?!!!!”

          • “Car full of midgets!!!”

            I say that ALL the time and no one knows what I’m talking about, to which I say, “What were you doing for those two weeks in the year 2000 when Clerks: The Animated Series was on the air?!” And then they continue to look at me like I’m crazy. Now I can say, “Well, TeamSeth” knows what I’m talking about!!”

            I have a major lack of female friends where I live too! I unfortunately live in the “mid-south” region of this fine country… for the time being… “Why the hell is he called Silent Bob anyway?”

        • Oh, and sorry for that…
          ;o)

          • No worries. I don’t have a son, so it wasn’t all that bad.

  34. ohhhh my god. hahahahaha big daddy taylor cracks me up. thanks for that.

  35. The wet picture with TayLaut’s FMF is making me die. I’m not confuzzled at all with that one. That’s a face that I want to be the one to make him make… Sorry, Chris, but it’s true.

    M

    PS – I love KStew’s skeleton gloves. I have to find me some.

    • I found some a TJ Maxx. Seriously.

      • Score! I’ll go search the interwebs for them.

      • It is Halloween month…

        • The most wonderful time of the year!

  36. The Big Daddy! The Big Dadddddddy! Oh my gosh. I am dying…hahaha :)

    And, this is a first, but I am admitting right here, on LTT grounds, that Taylor made me swoon.

    Yes. I just said that. For the first time. Ever.

    Now I am going to go ponder why it has taken so long for me to say that…

    • please figure it out and report back!

    • OH EM GEE. must know what happened!

  37. omg 2049 taylor? HAHAHHAHAHA

    • i know, right? i laughed so hard i spit yogurt in my lap.
      should have known better…

      • Loved the [most likely unintentional] Jessica Stanley quote.

        • HAHAHA. I think, “I know, right?” ALL THE TIME, but I try not to ever say it lest someone think I’m quoting Twilight.

          For the record, when I think “I know, right?” I’m totally quoting Twilight.

          • I know. That’s why I called you out.

          • (while still giving you an out, just to be nice…and because I was 2nd hand embarrassed for immediately thinking of Jessica Stanley)

        • oh no, honey, it was intentional. but i say it all the time, so it might not count. thanks for the html tips, btw.

  38. I love these Twilight business documents! I need to buy a printer so I can print them out. Umm I love the Nov. 20th, 2009 Chris Hansen busts UC and Moon and the 2049 Taylor as Big Daddy and UC and Moon get parol for good behavior!! HAHAH love this website =D

    And what the heck Taylor, why is he sooo hot for 17?!?!?

    • our good behavior? we created a prison blog: “letters FROM the pen”

  39. “Chris Hanson busts UC & Moon” juajaja now I totally understand it.

  40. Okay the wet ass in a air picture is too much. (Can I say wet ass about a 17 year old? I may or may not live in Georgia, emphasis on the may not)

    He does try too hard. and I’m pretty sure I would once again spontaneously become pregnant if they ever made Rob do that pose. or tackle my computer screen.

    PS – TIMELINE WIN. and girls, no worries, I’ll post bail…if I’m not sitting right beside you.

    • when you said “pretty sure I would once again spontaneously become pregnant if they ever made Rob do that pose” HAHAHAHA! ROFL to the max! that was priceless… laugh-laugh-laugh, i needed that!

  41. I love you guys. Long time.

  42. Click to enlarge, it’s HUGE (that’s what she said)…

    You weren’t kidding. I clicked to enlarge. It was huge. And somewhere in between August 2009 and Chris Hansen, I heard someone clear their throat behind me. Guilty as charged, I whirled around in my seat while simultaneously (desperately) clicking the minimize button.

    One of my coworkers was standing there, know-it-all-smirk in place, and he said, “Looking up hunky guys at work- bad girl.”

    You know that feeling you get when you’re caught doing something you aren’t supposed to, and you can’t think clearly around the big huge “BUSTED” ringing in your head?

    Well, that’s my excuse for stuttering out “I live in Georgia so it’s not illegal!”

    I won’t fill you in on the conversation that followed. But it did include a lot of “What are you talking about?” and relentless red-cheeked head shaking.

    • it’s okay… we understand. *shoulder pat*

    • Oh lord, I would have died. haha because there really isn’t a good way to explain ..”well…I’m looking a chart to see when a boy became a man…he’s not quite there yet…but it’s still ok…right?”

    • I’m sorry, but this made me ROFL! Total 2nd hand embarrassment for you! I would so die (esp. since I work in a church).

    • Did he really say “bad girl”? Amazing.

  43. HA! Classic!! Thanks for sharing.

  44. Not sure what to make of that breakdancing pic, but I am getting some man-on-man visuals from it. Love your timeline (except for the part where you go to jail)!

  45. My kids love Sonic the Hedgehog, so this is kinda creepin’ me out! I guess the Sonic pic is my ‘cool down’ pic for Taylor, kinda like ‘the tuck’ with Rob.

    I have to say that any post with Big Daddy is a win for me, though. I just want to give him a big hug!

    • i know.. i just <3 Big Daddy..

      and i LOVE That Tay's version of The Tuck is The Sonic

  46. I had a Taytor dream the night before last. Involved being back in high school, fake lezbo-ing with an unidentified friend and then taking turns smooching on the Taytor. When I woke up I could vividly recall how hot, large and good his hands felt on my back. Majorly disturbing as I kind of liked it, I’m old enough to be his mother and the fact that the only Robward dream I have ever been blessed with involved marrying prom Edward at some large oudoor convention center where there were deer running all around. Last time I’m looking at Teen Vogue with my daughter before bed, damn Rob-GQ hasn’t produced as good of results-

    Been following LTT and LTR since March(first comment today), you all are incredibly smart, witty, and so very Twi-knowledgable and go perfectly first thing in the morn with a cup of green tea :) Thanks for letting me share in a place where “it’s normal” :)

    • yay for first comment! X

    • I’m beginning to notice a first comment trend. Super sultry, first hand embarrassing (without being shameful=awesome), Twi-secret spilling, and/or about Robward. Always about Robward.

      My first comment was to suggest someone read Jane Austen if they needed something besides Twilight. I am lame.

      • JANE AUSTIN!

        are you serious or are you joking? b/c i LOVE her. and i LOVE the BBC version of Pride & Preg.

        (i have her collection leather bound… le sigh)

        • -typo- in meant “Prejudice” of course…

          type too fast… too many mistakes

          but i love that movie… and her books, like Persuasion… lovely…

        • I’d rather have Rob leather bound.

          • You snuck that one in there, Katie, but I saw it!!
            Leather bound!!

        • Ambushed, why would I be joking?

        • I mean, I don’t think Austen is lame, she’s hilarious and amazing. But I’m lame for not having a more clever hymen-breaking comment.

    • HI KELLER!! welcome out of lurkdom and your dream sounds hot!

      • Thanks Moon-

        Wasn’t as hot as it could have been, must have been some subconcious Chris Hansen sensoring-

        Glad to be here :)

  47. Bwaahahahahahaha! I love these charts you make!

    In regards to age differences, Taylor to me is like a sperm and Rob is a fetus. It’s bad enough with Rob, so I’m sooooo not going there with Taylor.

    • LOL

      • SPERM?! *shudder*

        (i feel sick…)

  48. Dear Moon,
    I just have no words. I’ll start gathering stationary for when I’ll write you and UC in jail. Can you get packages in jail? I’ll make sure to send a copy of the Sexy Stars of New Moon. Know you’ll be missing the tay pics.

    *applauding your dedication*
    Brooke

  49. seriously disturbed by the Big Daddy Taylor Years….whew, I need to shake that off!

    Great flow chart Moon! Totes loved it!

    • forgot to include “that’s what she said” after the “shake if off comment” in my above post. Not enough coffee this morning yet…..

  50. HEELLLLLOO TAYCOB!!! :]

    I knew he was going to be a cutie since
    Cheaper by The Dozen 2!!!

    I Love him BETTER than Robward!!!
    [he is much sexier]

    Weird?

    No, It’s Normal

    • Totes normal. In fact, maybe extraordinarily normal if you ask me. ;)

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