Monday Funnies, riffing on Twilight

Dear Twilight Movie,

You are so ridiculous sometimes you make the jokes too easy. Even for old dudes who know nothing about Twilight. So when I found this videos I knew we had to share them for Monday Funnies. This is some old dude sings his interpretation of Bella’s Lullaby, written by Edward. It may be back to work time but you don’t have to frown… just hum this whenever you boss asks you to stay late this week


“I want to chomp into you throaaaat… and watch you bleed out on the floor” Yup, I have definitely had that exact sentiment about several past bosses. Now all together!


And now the old guys say all the stuff we’ve been saying for months about the movie, only they voice it over the movie and it’s way more guy-ish. Highlights?
“That looks from the guy-you-alert-the-flight-attendent-about collection”
“Can’t socialize, obsessed with crappy book series!”

Seriously Twilight, the movie you make it too easy sometimes! I really can’t wait (no really?) for November, not only to see New Moon but because we’ll have some new material! Thank God!!

“Sit down have some plaid!”
Themoonisdown

So did you sing this to your boss this morning while through darts in your boss dartboard?

Seriously you CANNOT miss Letters to Rob today. UC’s hubby has a treat for all of us!!
Riff on Twilight in the forum
You have till Wednesday to enter the Imma Contest! Have you entered yet?

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73 Responses

  1. “… have an omelet with your brains.”

    This was an accident waiting to happen. Hi-lar! So much better than those guys that comment on a lot of other movies whose names i’ve forgotten because they weren’t that funny anyway.

    Dear ballad guy: you rock!

    • Oops… my dear Twi-colleague here just points out to me that these are probably the same guys.

      Ummm… sorry guys. The ballad rocks. The rest kinda sucks. Better next time!

      • You’re thinking of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and it is the same guys. =)

      • You were probably distracted by my rendition of Godzilla. Sorry for disturbing you during your most important task of the day. :p

  2. Thats the second time I have seen that clip and its funny as hell. Cant wait until November

  3. The whole rifftrax is seriously hilarious. The ‘highlights’ don’t even cover some of the funniest parts. It’s just a shame that it’s so hard to keep it synched up with the movie. Anyone have any tips on that?

    • I can’t even get mine started. I’m not computer savvy at all. It’s such a tease to have and not know what to do with it. That’s what she said.

      • I had to read the help file that came with it a few times before I could get it to play. It’s worth taking the trouble with it. =)

        My favorite part was during the kissing scene (Don’t move.. I just wanna try one thing.. ) they said “The Bad News Bears don’t take this long to score!” I totally choked on my popcorn.

    • I didn’t have any problems if I just pause the dvd in the laptop as soon as the summit mountain symbol just starts to fade to black. If I wait until it’s black, it’s gone too far!!

      Love the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys. Sooo funny.

      • Thank you for the tip, loveme!

  4. “Can’t socialize, obsessed with crappy book series!”
    LMAO .. love this line !

    • lol – loved all the silent parts “line….line….line….line…”

  5. Lovely. Seen this before and can no longer take the movie seriously (like I could before).

    BTW,
    “Can’t socialize. Obsessed w/ crappy book series.” describes most of my high school years.

    • Oh and I think my love for Rob may be waning a bit.

      I totally thought his first name was Richard last night & I have no idea why.

      • Richard (“Dick”) is the name of Rob’s father. And I always think of dick when I think of Rob. See? No worries. You’re on the right track. :)

        • This could be it. Dick = Richard.

          I am on the right track!

      • Is your Mr. Fang’s name Richard? That could have something to do with it…

        • Nope. Mr. Fang is not Richard. He is Skyler (far from a nice normal name).

          lol

          • Not Schuyler? My friend named her baby Schuyler. But the baby is a girl…

  6. “Agh! We hit a turtle!” lol. Oh those MST3K guys… So funny. Do they do the whole movie?

    • Yes, you can buy it for $3.99 or so on the Rifftraxwebsite. It’s just the audio and you have to sync it up with your movie.

      • And well worth the 3.99! They start before the movie even starts crackin on the sparkly vampires. I love the Harpo references to Jasper.

  7. late for my angst class. lol
    making fun of twilight is hilarious.

  8. I’ve never seen this before! Why not?!?!?!? There’s so much awesome in there I can’t pick my favorite part. The part where they said line 52 times? Noise proof bed sheet? Boyfriend meeting toupee? I can’t decide!

    oink

    • I’ve never seen this before! Why not?!?!?!?

      Maybe because you have a life? ;)

      • It’s all a clever ruse…

  9. Line?

    • No, I do not know what is going on.

      • LOL!

        • It’s time to make the doughnuts!!!!

  10. Dude. I was just watching this last night… for the third or fourth time.

    MST3K was absolutely one of my favorite shows growing up… and still is! When I found out they covered Twilight and may or may not have squeeled louder than when I saw “the Tuck”. Only this time it was a happy squeel. Not a squeel of terror. I think I posted a link to this here a few weeks ago.

    I did end up buying the rifftrax for Twilight. If I can only figure out how to use it I will be happy.

    • Lay it to vinyl and play it, like Dark Side of the Moon and Wizard of Oz.

      • Hahah! I will discover dark secrets that Cathy Cougar hid in the movie.

  11. “Aha, I’m gay!”

    Very funny – nearly spat out my drink!

    • Usually I can drink while reading, but today I knew to play it safe. It was only 9:54 minutes after all.

    • I’m a metro-pire

  12. Started at LTR and caused a ruckus around my office with my cackling, courtesy of UC’s husband. I can’t spend 10 more mins laughing at this now or I might actually get fired… Twi will be the death of me yet.

  13. That is so hilarious when the voice over in the 2nd video sings : “you’re beautiful” while Bella said you’re beautiful! LMAO

    See stuff like this should be included in the extra DVD that comes with movies!

    • I actually really liked when he VOs James saying “Everything’s gonna be alright, rock-a-by”

  14. Seriously. It’s a good thing that I have earphones at my desk. Although everyone is probably wondering what the H I’m snorting about over here. Both posts were great today…Monday may not be too bad after all.

    • Just tell them you’re listening to If You Like Pina Colada. That’ll help ease the tension.

      • It’s all good, I told them it was “Party in the USA” by Miley.

  15. “Damn you disproportionately huge high school for a town of 3000″
    “Apologies are impossible through the noise proof bedsheet”
    “Cullen’s a freak!…Yeah his hair is not girlish at all!”
    “The producers of twilight would like to remind you that breasts exist”
    “Remember… Bella needs you… to make her hammy (?) acting look good by comparison”
    “…so worried he almost decided to become a real character in this movie”

    Whahahaha.

  16. The person who sits in front of me just stood up to make sure I wasn’t choking on something because I keep coughing to cover my laugh… True story

    Spider monkey – “Ah that’s a reference to her already legendary poo flinging exploits”

    “Why does it sound so leathery? Are they rubbing baseball gloves?”

    And my personal favorite
    “That is one Powerful Boner”

    BBWWWAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!

    • YES! The boner! LOL

      • I almost died laughing.

      • Who doesn’t like a good boner … commment that is.. :P

      • I don’t think I’ll be able to watch Twilight ever again with out hearing that in my head from now on!

  17. oh man i needed that! i can always count on you guys to bring on the funny on an otherwise blechy monday! : )

  18. So, I haven’t posted on here in a while because college started up again, and unfortunately that takes over my life :(

    But, this week I’m home sick with H1N1, and I’d have to say that the only advantage of this is getting to read LTT/LTR every morning! :D

    Today’s post made me laugh so hard that I had to stop the video a few times to quit coughing… But it was definitely worth it! These guys are brilliant! I can’t wait to email this to my mom cuz she used to love watching MST3K!

    • I do hope that the US Dept of Health reads your comment so they realize that swine flu is seriously benefiting people!

      • Also, related, I just found this H1N1 link that is positively adorable.

        Swine Flu, only $7.95!

        • lol thats cute! I’ve seen those before and bought my friend a herpes one… :D

        • that’s so cute! Now the question is, do I want one? Hehe.

          • I think the answer is obvious.

          • The plush toy is much better than the real thing! I can guarantee it!

          • TMI Suzin!!!!

          • Just sayin’… Swine Flu sucks.

          • I thought you meant herpes!

  19. Thanks for the Monday funnies! I don’t know if I can watch Twilight again and not think of this. I love you for that!

    I am praying and fasting for a better New Moon, but I am sure getting hungry.

    • Then eat a brain omelet!

  20. Mornin’ hellbeast!
    Mornin’ minor character!

  21. That’s was hilarious!!
    “Line?”
    “Sit down, have some plaid”
    hilarious!!!

  22. Some old guy? Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew under the name of Riff trax still work their magic on movies and the old government psa’s. Instead of trying to get the rights to old movies what they do now is sell downloads that you play along with the movie. Twilight is hilarious ..especially when they notice the background stuff going on behind the main stars. they cost from .99-3.99 for the download. I highly recommend you browse the site. I want them to do HP Goblet of Fire they have the other ones! http://www.rifftrax.com

  23. “i only eat eucalyptus leaves, you see, i’m a koala bear”
    i laughed so hard at that part.. but also at the entire thing..
    those guys are hilariouss!

  24. Has anyone heard from MidnightSin? I haven’t seen any comments from her in a couple days and I’m a little worried.

    • Nope. Now you have me worrying! Hope she’s ok.

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one who is a worrywart. I sent her an email a couple hours ago.

      • Thanks. Let us know if you hear back from her.

  25. lmao both those vids are hilarious. i especially dig all the kstew ragging in the second one, im not her biggest fan. ‘…you always look nautious’ hahaha. i could quote that vid all day. it makes me WANT to watch twilight lol

  26. my favorite ” the camera man is being chased by a badger! “

  27. Love it!! I litterally busted out laughing loudly several times.

    My favorite lines:
    – “Why does it sound so leathery? Are they rubbing baseball gloves?”
    – “Lllllllllllllady’s” (when Edward enters the cafeteria)
    – “That look from the creepy guy looking in on yoga class with binoculars series”
    – “Time to make the donuts! Dear God, it’s TIME TO MAKE THE DONUTS!!!!”
    – “Well nobody’s going to believe you” (“quoted from the abusive guys handbook there”)
    – “Cat sex”
    – “Line…Line…”
    – “I. Do. Not. Know. What. Is. Going. On.”
    – “I wanted to kill you (when you were doing 45 in the passing lane)”
    – “Forks ARE growing on you”
    – “We hit a turtle!”
    – “She loves him based on him not killing her… That’s… That’s healthy”

    And the lulluby too! I think I’m going to need to buy the entire thing to hold me over until next month…

  28. HAHAHAHA! I loved how they ripped on Kristen- “Rabbit Dentures” and “I blink 50 times a minute”. HAHAHAHA!

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