The mistakes of Twilight

Dear LTTers,

Thank you so much for your congratulations & sweet words regarding our 10 month anniversary yesterday. We have a confession that we’d like to share in the form of “texts from last night” between Moon & UC:

Text from Moon: “Just wrapped up my ’10 month anniversary/10 things I love about Twi’ post- getting in bed- wouldn’t it be funny if we calculated wrong and our 10 month anniversary is next week?
Text from UC
: “We’d look like the biggest idiots”
Text from Moon:
“Umm…. I just calculated. Can you double check my math”
Text from UC: “Yep. Just double checked.
Happy 9 month anniversary”

Oops. I know we seem perfect, but we’re not. For example, we miss things. Once there was a picture of Big Daddy with a dabble of ketchup down the front of his shirt. We missed an opportunity to photo-shop him in a Heintz ketchup ad. And one time Moon said “I bet it’s hard to be Jacob Black” and I forgot to say “that’s what she said.” It’s hard to be perfect all the time. We try. But we sometimes fail. Even we make mistakes.

So in honor of our 9 month anniversary (yesterday) and to continue our new fond love of making lists, here are 9 mistakes from the Twilight world:

1. The Bandslam & PUSH previews on the Twilight DVD

(that you cannot fast forward through- bastards) Summit thought they were being sneaky, making us watch those previews before we got to see Robward’s beautiful face. Little did they know that I just made copies of the DVD, got rid of the previews and sold them illegally on the black market. In your Face Summit. Just kidding. What I really did was press Play; Go make some popcorn; Pour myself some bubbly; Walk back into the room; Groan that Vanessa Hudgens was STILL on the screen; Go pee; Put on my PJs; Come back. Movie time. In your face, Summit.

Dear Stephenie, This outfit is not hot Love, us

Dear Stephenie, This outfit is not hot Love, us

2. Edward’s taste of music, clothing & bedding in the books

WestFriend: Why did Stephenie make Edward so lame when it comes to music taste. Umm…hi. He hates the 60’s and 70’s? The BEST time for music ever? And he LOVES the 50’s and some of the 80’s? It has bothered me so bad.
Moon
: SMeyer is an enigma. Cause the 60s ruled the music scene. But the real questions are: Why does she make Edward wear sleeveless button ups and have black and gold brocade bedding?? These things I’ve never understood.

3. Including Perry Farrell and Collective Soul on the Soundtrack

Dear Summit,

It’s clear from your marketing that you are unaware that anyone other than 12 to really immature 15 1/2 year olds like the Twilight saga, so why in the world would you force Alexandra Patsavas (who made Death Cab for Cutie & Imogen Heap household names, so I know it wasn’t her doing) to include an old washed up rocker looking for a comeback & a band that no one has thought of since 1995 on the soundtrack?

4. The EW magazine cover that ended the careers of a photographer & editor

brilliantEWcover

I just need one.more.hit. Buy my apple?

And if the photographer & editors weren’t fired, they should’ve been- or maybe even hung. Who told them Twilight was about methed-up teen addicts who sell their last piece of food- an apple- to buy enough meth so they could ceremoniously commit a joint suicide/OD and spend eternity together listening to Collective Soul? EW Fail

Follow the jump for the rest of the mistakes!

5. Bella’s trendy outfits

LTR friends Brooke, Marta & StageManageThis had a heated debate about this ‘mistake.’ Coincidentally they were sitting at Pacific Pizza in Forks. Or maybe not so coincidentally. Cuz I hear Forks kinda blows in the food-area, and if you’re looking for Pizza in Forks, Pacific Pizza is probably your only option. Brooke argued that Bella was a bit too fashionable in the movie, especially towards the end. She says, “Book Bella wore simple shirts- she was more of a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. She’s supposed to dress simply- no big jewelry, no romantic tops (other than the blue blouse – which reminds me that no teenager actually says blouse). By Summit making Bella fashionable rather than plain, they ended up pushing the limits with Alice, who looks like a closet threw up on her.”

6. The Death of a fake-lesbianship

Oh Kristen. Oh Nikki. How could you? You had such a beautiful thing. All the hand-holding, the skipping, the smiling. Now it’s Nikki working out 24/7 with a new woman on her arm & Kristen method acting like a rocker, mullet-ed real lesbian. I miss the days when you acted like the girls from T.A.T.U. and made us laugh with your innocent giggles, cutesy matching clothes & shoes and shared love of the marijuana leaf. Things will never be the same…… Never….

7. The almost re-casting of Jacob Black

11420500_gal

Both Legal in Georgia

While Michael Copon might be legal in states other than Georgia & his washboard abs are not a sore site for the eyes, this dude is not Jacob & the fact that he was considered as a replacement for even a second is a Twilight mistake bigger than Bella wearing a khaki skirt when she meets the Cullen’s for the first time (seriously Steph? khaki? Where’d she find it? Old Navy stopped making those in ’96) We will forever be in debt to Chris Weitz for keeping Taycob in the picture and providing us with ample opportunity for Chris Hansen to knock upon our doors.

8. Killing off Buttcrack Santa

It might seem more appropriate to call the introduction of Buttcrack Santa a Twilight mistake, but no! I’d never think that. Buttcrack Santa will be forever embedded in our minds as a icon- a pillar of the Forks made-up community. And as pointed out one time by a beautiful commenter who called Moon & I “stupid idiots” for not knowing that Buttcrack Santa is a type of beer, his ‘play-on-words’ name is further proof of Summit not knowing their audience. In addition to thinking only 12 to really immature 15 1/2 year olds love the Twilight series, apparently they also think their 70something creepy, old next door neighbors who still have boxes of a discontinued beer from the Korean War days, will love the movie as well. All I know is that we will truly miss our ol’ friend, his buttcrack, the little bottles (filled with Buttcrack Santa beer? He died, so we’ll never be able to ask him) and his songs about mamas & kitties. RIP, Buttcrack Santa. RIP*

9. The Midnight Sun Leak

I saved the worst for last. This was a dark day for Twilight fans. Well, it was a light day for 12 chapters and 6 hours while I ignored household chores, my husband & stayed in my PJs with my lap top in my bed, but afterwards…. ohhh the agony! Sometimes I wish I never read it. How could it end right before the Meadow scene? Is Steph trying to kill us with the anticipation? And THEN the drama that happened after….. the letter from Stephenie, her later saying she was kinda kidding about the letter and then all these months that have followed. All these months without knowing what Edward thinks. What does he really think when he sees Bella in that khaki skirt? Or is he the one who snuck it into her dresser drawer after he found it in the Cullen house basement in a tub marked “Clothes Alice bought from Old Navy outlet store as an act of kindness so no one would ever be caught in public wearing them?” We’ll never know. Or maybe we will but we’ll have to wait, praying every day that Stephenie decides to share with us the rest of her brilliant story about Edward. Stephenie: I have to confess I recently read the fanfiction The Office. This is how I am now picturing Edward. I will forever picture Edward this way unless you give me back virginal Edward in the form of a finished book. I mean it. Your Edward doesn’t do Bella on the top of his desk. The Edward currently in my mind does. If you don’t like that. Fix it.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What “mistakes” did I miss from Twilight? There are SO many…!

Also, Moon & I laughed SO hard when we realized OUR big mistake. We realized it early yesterday morning… so we had to read your comments all day about our 10 month anniversary, bracing for someone to do the math and call us out in the comments! I’m take total blame for the counting mistake. But I’m gonna blame it on Summit. Cuz it’s fun. And That’s Normal.

The Forum never makes mistakes
LTR does though…. celebrate our NINE MONTH anniversary over there!

*Someone did call us stupid idiots for not knowing that Buttcrack Santa is a beer. Apparently Google is also a stupid idiot, because they’re unaware that it’s a beer too. I totes made up the part about the Korean War but like to believe it’s true. I have a fond vision in my mind of handsome sailors sippin’ on a cold Buttcrack Santa in the canteen, chowing down on kimchee.

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195 Responses

  1. So, so funny! Loves you!

    • I am so with you on the white sleeveless shirt. had me almost dry retching . At that stage we were lucky she didn’t end up with Newton

      • uggghhh that shirt is just a reminder of what i think about during the hiking scene. YUCK

        • Seriously, that is by far the thing I hated most about that book was the clothes, the sleeveless, *collared* shirt, the blouse and “little house on the prairie” long khaki skirt. And the music, if he’s such a music lover and he likes jazz, why the hell doesn’t he love blues and guitar from the 60s and 70s? Maybe I’m just bummed I would never see Edward at a Clapton or that he would hate 80% of my music collection.

          This is hysterical, I choked reading that last bit about “Your Edward doesn’t do Bella on the top of his desk. The Edward currently in my mind does. If you don’t like that. Fix it.” EPIC WIN, the best line ever!

          • SM”s description of B & E’s clothes was the worst part for me. Trying to picture this incredible, beautiful, god of a man.. wearing sleeveless button downs and beige leather jackets. Ick. I kept trying to picture the sleeveless button down, and just couldn’t. I don’t know where people dress like that.

          • I just reread Twilight again, and I was wondering, and trying my hardest to picture this shirt, I didnt like it in the book, and seeing a picture of it makes me want to gag. I’ll just stick to seeing it as a white T, a wifebeater or, an Office Edward shirt thankyoumuch! lol oh and Bella’s skirt, big fail as well, it might as well have the big pockets on the side of it..cargo skirt….I swear you ladies read my mind!
            ps happy 9th!

          • so glad you addressed the horrific male button down shirt problem but if I recall correctly wasn’t Bella wearing the same thing in that scene? I haven’t read that one for a while so I could be mixing this up with some fanfic but I’m pretty sure she was. Either way it’s awful all the way around.

  2. Bahahaha!
    Oh you gals crack me up!
    It always puts me in such a great mood before bed when I read your lastest post.
    Anywho!
    Yah, Edward’s “fashion sense” in the books??
    WTF Meyer?!?!
    That meadow scene is the same for me as when any of B’s outfits are described: I pretend she’s wearing something pretty and fashionable ala Alice (<3) not something icky and unco-ordinated and heinous.
    Okay, rant over.
    And that EW cover? Ew.
    Rob looks sicknast (Lauren's Bite holla!) and KStew looks like Megan Fox. Who I don't like.

    Anywho, enough ranting.
    Happy 9 month-er!
    Love you, love your work, love you and your work!
    {Will & Grace quote, FYI ;))

    xoxo

    • Oh yeh and my R1 DVD (yeh totally eBayed it so I could get it early . . . ) let’s me skip the previews!

      • LUCKY!

      • BluRay lets you skip them too. WIN!

        • my crappy dvd player lets me chapter-skip through them, just not fast-forward or use the menu option… : /

    • BITCHES!!!!!!!

      • … Speaking of which. In my opinion the biggest Twilight mistake was the casting of Kstew as Bella. She is such a killjoy to the role its beyond belief. However, I have mixed feelings about this because without her we also would not have gotten Robward, given she was the (jail) bait that brought him in. Still, if I could recast anyone it would be her. And not because of the mullett, or because she get to have Rob (luckybitch), But because she sucks all the life out of Bella. The one thing that is true about Bella is that you can always read her emotions on her face, but alas, Kstew either started her botox 20 years early, feels no emotions or simply does not know how to act.

        The results… when I watch the movie I replace Kstew with my version of book Bella, (it really isn’t hard since Kstew is just blank) and when I read the book I replace book Edward with Robward. That’s Normal!

        Stephanie if you are reading, its not too late! We could still get a different Bella for BD. You can make it happen!

      • Try hitting STOP-STOP-then PLAY. Every one I have ever had skips the previews when you do that.

        Hope that helps. I’d be throwing shit at the TV if I had to sit through them.

  3. I wish I could never see that EW cover again. It makes me want to run away from computer screaming. But I don’t do it…cuz I’m a big girl now.

    Regarding Midnight Sun…I’d put money on the fact the SMeyer has it done and is just toying with us. Why else would the leak cut off right before it gets good?

    Mistakes? Hmm…..can we include poodle wigs here?

    oink

    • Yes!! The poodle wig… one of the biggest FAILs of the movie

      • sorry maybe blind but who has the poodle wig?

        • jasper…i think

    • I agree 100% about Midnight Sun! I thought maybe it was a little paranoid of me but I’m glad someone else thinks so.

      No way it just happened to end right before it gets good.

      • i agree.. i bet it’s done.

        • That would be hands down the best surprise the Twi-verse could throw at me… well, unless the Breaking Dawn DVD comes out with the Fade To Black created for real in the special features…

    • I always thought the ‘leak’ was a publicity stunt, too. Especially where it ended….

      • oh you KNOW it’s 100% done sitting on a harddrive in a locked safety deposit box. COME ON little brown publishing start making the offer sweeter!!

        • I’ll bet there are a lot of fans who would pitch in to sweeten the deal…..

        • Stephenie already has enough money. She’s going to make Summit put into Rob’s contract a weekend with her on Isle Esme. Well – that’s what I would do anyway :)

    • The EW cover is so unfortunate. I hate that when you search google images of Twilight – those are always on the first page of results. I try to cover my eyes. Were the photographer and stylist have blind??? Did they not see what was right in front of their eyes? THEY must have been the ones on meth – not Robsten. They were just innocent victims!

  4. The fact you miscounted makes me love you more. Happy NINE month anniversary ladies!! x

  5. So I totally agree that the EW cover was all sorts of horrible, but there is one good thing about it, Rob’s hip bone:

    And so true about SM needing to finish MS. As much as I love sexed crazed Edward of the Office (and boy do I love him) I still want my virginal Edward of Twilight

    • Thank you for that! I was always so disgusted and perturbed with this picture I never notice d Rob’s abs!

    • I love that the file name is “crotch21.jpg”. I trust that it was preceded by crotches 1-20? How many crotches do you think that album holds?

      • It holds 35 UHQ crotches… you should check it out :)

        http://community.livejournal.com/pattinsonlife/809716.html

        You need to have an LJ account and friend the community, if you don’t want to go through that trouble you can easily just change the number in the url from 21 to any number between 1 and 35!!!

  6. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the office. Goddamn give me some beautiful Bastard any day! Mistakes: you are aliiiiiive (hate that)

    • The Office owns me. Forever. Have you read the outtakes? Mmm, yes.

      • NO!
        running now

  7. Biggest fail of the saga? Recasting Victoria when, let’s be fair, she’s one of the more awesome actors in the series. Serious fail.

    • And the choir said AMEN!!!

    • Agree, Agree, Agree…….
      Even if Ms Howard turns out to be an oscars winning actress in the future Summit screwed up BIG and really showed how shallow they are by dumping on Rachelle….
      Yep BAD Sumit BAD….

    • AMEN!!!

  8. Never read The Office. Should I?

    I do like my Edward to not be a sex crazed idiot.

    It just makes him so much more appealing.

    • Uh…if you don’t like your Edward sex-crazed, then The Office is not for you. (it is soooo good though)

      • Hmmmm… Maybe I can make one exception.

    • You should quit reading this blog until you’ve finished The Office! Beautiful Bastard is in my top 4 fave Edwards ever…Right behind Tattward.

      • Which one is Tattward? I haven’t read that one.

      • The Office rules. My top Edward for sure.

        • Tattward? Where?

      • Tattward is in Clipped Wings and Inked Armor by hunterhunting. I fangirl so hard for this story. Y’all have to read it and tell me what you think!!!

        • Love both BB and Tattward! The Office and Clipped Wings are equally excellent. :)

        • Tattward is my fave ff-ward right now and BB is a VERY close second. Damn he is so hot (in my mind)!
          And I think I’ve separated virginal Edward (whose sweetness, but not sleeveless white shirt, I love) from the hot, makes your panties go *poof*, effing smexy Edward that I fatasize about all day. Totally different.

          • tatward is pretty fucking hot

          • Tattward. Yum! Yes I did not sleep last night

    • Read The Office. Now.

    • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DO NOT READ THE OFFICE!!! Read a Book!

      • But I read all sorts of books all the time.

        Particularly Socialogy of Death and Dying and Soc. of Religion.

        Shouldn’t I have a little fun?

        • The Office is more than a little fun.

          It is serious, hardcore, do you in the dressing room of La Perla fun.

          Go, Read, Report Back.

          • “do you in the dressing room of La Perla fun”
            LOL

            I also find myself taking the stairway more often…

          • and the elevator and the boardroom and the audi and the company limo and the BB’s parents upstairs bathroom…

            yup i find myself using those a lot more now!

          • I’ll say it! I didn’t like The Office! I found it way too repetitive. But maybe that’s because I read it all in one sitting. I personally LOVED Wide Awake- very sexy.

        • STay away. Fan fiction kills you. TRUTH

      • You shush your ff-hatin’ self, Janetrigs! I’m going to tell TammyO to take you to HALE!

  9. You missed the mistake that is the character Eric Yorkie in the film (Heh heh, look Bella, it’s a worm! A worm! – I cringe each and every time) (Chillax!) (It’s La Push baby, La Push). Also the Linkin Park on the soundtrack. I’ll take Collective Soul over Linkin Park any day.

    And Happy *9* Month Anniversary!! We love you like it’s been 10!!

    • AHEM.
      ;-)

      • SORRY! It’s not you, it’s Justin Chon – eye roll to the max!

        Smooches!

        • MWAH! :-)

          Terrible casting except that now he is legendarily hilarious…..I saw the movie in the theater by myself late in January after just finishing the book, and I kept thinking, wait, Yorkie was gay? WTH? How do I not remember that, didn’t he ask Bella on a date? Seriously, I have a hard time believing they could not find a less-gay actor to play him.

  10. The midnight sun leak sucked hardcore…and so did the EW magazine cover!!!…but nothing can compare to the suckage of Buttcrack Santa!!! LMAO :D Great post today girls!!

    • Opps there was a typo in my post…’but nothing can compare to the suckage of Buttcrack Santa’…I meant to say nothing can compare to the suckage of Buttcrack Santa DYING!!! When Waylen died so did a little piece of my heart LOL

  11. I love you girls! I wouldn’t care if it was your 3rd month anniversary, I’d still read you every day!
    I need to start reading fanfiction if what you say is true – I’m totally missing out! Now I’ll have the image in my mind of Edward and Bella on a desk although I will probably replace Bella’s face/body with my own! :)

    • THAT is sooo how fanfic works….replace, replace, replace….

  12. Oh My God! I accidentally spit on my screen at #4. I know sometimes we say that in jest, but seriously…its just drying up now. Sorry for the visual.

    Yes, EW photo shoot was nuts and your description is the best way it can be summed up. There is not a freaking apple in the story, do you think maybe Robert could have spoken up, since he was the only person who had read the books on the set (Kristen hadn’t). But I guess they didn’t have the Twilight figures to be able to have their way. Now they can run the show.

  13. Uh, about #7, Michael who? Taylor knocked that out of the park. I want to see that Eclipse kiss so badly now. And thank god he’ll be legal by the time I get to see it so I won’t feel so creepy. Heck, I might have to visit Georgia just to see New Moon. Hey! That’s Normal.

    • seriously, I just checked the link of the close-up of Rob’s hip, and my imagination filled in the rest… And the only word to describe Taylor accuritely is “delicious”. All the time I’m looking at their pics I’m thinking to myself, “I’m too old, I’m too old, I’m too old, JAIL BAIT JAIL BAIT JAIL BAIT… Oh well, who the hell cares?

  14. I have to admit I quit reading after you said you thought it was your 10 mons. and it was your really only your 9 mos. YEAH!!!!! WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!! You have crossed over!!!! Then I am starting to feel guilty..should I have ever written that letter in the first place??? Am I contagious??? I not only don’t know what month it is, I never even know what day it is!!! I feel so connected now!! Then I honestly just looked at the pics…way too much reading for me this morning and I am tired from watching Twilight all night…so for me the biggest mistake is how often Bella where’s that blasted blue shirt….If I CAN REMEMBER IT she wore it WAY TOO MUCH!!! BTW don’t worry about the mistake…by the time I finish all you wrote today and “get it” IT WILL BE YOUR 10 mos. XOXO

    • haha… we CAUGHT it from you!!! love it!

  15. 1) Yeah, HUGE mistake for whoever leaked Midnight Sun, because if it werent’ for that we could actually be able to read what went through Edward’s mind during those dry hump sessions!

    2) The EW shoot, agreed. That cover photo was the first photo I ever saw of Rob before I knew who he and Twilight were and at first I didn’t find him attractive based on that photo. I know, how could I?! It was the photo. I now feel horrible I felt that way but seriously….bad shoot.

    3) Yeah, what is up with a gold duvet?! SERIOUSLY!

  16. My fave mistake with the movie is the baseball scene when Robert flips off Kellan. And I say Robert and Kellan because they obviously weren’t “in character” for that. I’m really surprised it didn’t end up on the cutting room floor with the leg hitch scene! And I say it’s a mistake because obviously Edward is way to cultured to “flip the bird.”

    • Wha?? How have i never noticed this??!

      • Yeah, it’s when they jump in the air and collide then hit the ground laughing… he totes flips off Kellan

  17. Haha.. I was actually quite sad/confused when Edward said that he doesn´t 60´s and 70´s music.. who dosen´t like that?!
    I agree with you 100%, Perry Farrell and kaki skirts.. really!? Happy nine month aneversity :)

  18. You may have miscalculated but these nine months feel like forever. It’s as though I knew you before I was aware I knew you…like the cosmos was planning for us to be together.

    Ok, I’ll pass my pipe now.

    Great post and I agree with Jodes…recasting Victoria…FAIL!!!!

    • hey sassy when you “fly” up to go to NM w/me & O please bring the pipe! Will definately need it….just a thought…

      • oops…meant to say only kidding…not a good morning….it is morning right???

      • HAHA!!! Just tell me where you are an I’m on a plane!

        And I’ll leave the pipe at home, the TSA doesn’t really like it when you try to go through security with it! HA!!!!

        Not that I know from experience or anything.

        Seriously, I don’t.

        • seriously I sooo believe you!
          You do know how badly I want to go to New Moon, but it ain’t gonna happen…even w/you and opedial (much as I would love that) as my “don’t mess with us” people. Tried yesterday to go to the store for the first time in years with my daughter….disaster….so I am going to have to wait for the DVD… :(

        • uhhh huh… yea right

  19. one of the biggest mistakes in my view (glad i know this is a safe place, because i know lots of you will disagree) is carlisle’s SILLLLLLLY makeup … i saw the movie before reading the books, so i had no background whatsoever. through the door bursts this funny-looking doctor dude, with makeup so thick and white it looks like i could stick my finger in it like a birthday cake. and his hair color looks way off, and he’s wearing red lipstick …

    i’ve since grown to love pfach and the gallant dr. cullen, but still have never shaken that seriously goofy first impression.

    i’d also like to agree with all smeyer’s wardrobe fails … no one under the age of … what, 50? … uses the word “blouse.” and i’m so glad someone else thought “um, EW” when trying to picture amazing meadow-edward wearing a sleeveless button-down shirt.

    • I replaced “sleeveless button down” with “worn in beater.” It worked better for me.

    • Just started following pfach on twitter. He posts several times a day, and a couple days ago he posted pics of himself and Lou Farrigno; they were sitting together on a flight. He really is… I’m trying to come up with an adjective that isn’t too smarmy, but all I can think of is adorable. Check out twitter; I highly recommend it.

  20. Gtreat pics. They are a hoot http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • who keeps thumbs-downing bobbygee!?

      • I thumbs up him.

        It’s probably TammyO…she’s a beya like that.

        • It’s Summit’s fault.

    • Hey, I gotta know how you know so much about brasillian soccer? I lived in Brasil in 1984 (two years before RobPat was born!) and my fav team was Santos; they were champs that year, or maybe the year before. My choice in fav teams had something to do with a really beautiful brasillian boy, whom I loved desperately at the time, but I digress… How is Santos doing this year, and how can I get more info????

      • crazy person say what?!

  21. OK – so happy 9th Anniversary instead. Totally agree about Midnight Sun being the biggest mistake – more like tragedy really! Reading the beginning of that book actually made me like the movie a little more because I could better appreciate some of Robward’s expressions and reactions.

    And thank God my dvd (the 3 set from Target) doesn’t have annoying previews at the beginning!

  22. 1. THANK YOU for calling out Ms. Meyers (though I love her so) on her clothing choices. Of all the issues people could legitimately have with the saga, the things that irked me most throughout Twilight were Edward’s SLEEVELESS button down shirt and Bella’s ANKLE LENGTH khaki skirt. I always wondered if I was the only one to notice. Should’ve known you guys did too…

    2. Midnight Sun… ugh, what I wouldn’t do to have that finished. And what you said about sex-crazed Edward? EXACTLY why I don’t read fan fiction. I don’t want to pollute my image of Edward. That might make me a nerd and all… but I like the idea of keeping Edward the way Smeyers intended.

    Aaaand on that nerdy note… happy 9th instead of 10th!

    • I know! That’s what bugged me, was the LENGTH of that skirt. Why would she own such a fabric-heavy skirt in Arizona? Wouldn’t it be WAY to hot for something like that?

      sorry, yelling.

      • I had to “adjust” their wardrobe in my head while I was reading.

        i.e. Bella’s ankle length khaki skirt (wtf?!) became a knee length pencil skirt. Now that I could imagine Edward losing his shit over.

      • No, yell away!

        And while you have a valid point about living in AZ… forget that. What teen owns an ankle length skirt of any kind these days??? Pretty sure the teen mantra is: the tighter and shorter, the better.

        Also, and agreeing with Katie S. on this one, what dude would lose his mind over an ankle length khaki skirt and navy sweater? Though Eddy hasn’t seen much action in the last 100 years, so maybe that conservative look is enough to put him over the edge after all…

    • Twinners!

    • Soooo agree w/you…I wouldn’t read whatever fan fiction is….would never want to corrupt my image (fantasy) of Edward…plus you know how long it takes me to read LTT and I am sooo happy here….why go anywhere else!!! xoxo

  23. Everyone keeps referring to the Target 3 DVD set ….can someone explain what this is?? Am I missing something really good?? Plus I KNOW its just a matter of time before I wear out my DVD (had a scare last week, but duh..had put it in upside down) I am such a loser!! So should I order this Target one?And the “office” ?? Oh Lord ladies I am sooo confused this a.m. (OK EVERY A.M.) but especially today!!!
    Hey am I the only one that thought it was a mistake that Bella was soooooo rude at the Cullen’s when they worked so hard on cooking (not their thing at all and they were sooo excited) and Bella just kinda shrugs and doesn’t even say “Thanks”??? That is not normal when first meeting “the fam”…I am just thinking….

    • The 3-dvd set is supposedly a “Target exclusive.” It just has an extra dvd that has more special features. The first 2 dvds on it are the same as you get from Amazon, and probably other places. The extra dvd has features on “Becoming Edward” and “Becoming Bella”. Also has a long interiew with SMeyer and a few other things that escape my memory at the moment.

      Oh, and I totally agree with Bella being rude when she met the ‘rents. I don’t care if you ate before – be polite and eat again! They went to so much trouble to prepare dinner for her!

      • Thanks for explanation! Is it worth getting it tho??? Love the “escape my memory at the moment” I feel so at home here … <3
        Yah and the Bella/rents thing…it was also her look..I wanted to shout…"your an actress…act!" She looked freakin bored…come on…you are visting your "boyfriends" parents for the first time, AND they are vampires AND they are SO EXCITED to cook for you…watched Rosalie smash a bowl w/(gloved) bare hands….etc…and she shrugs and says "ahh ok"!!! So LAME!! I can barely speak most of the time and I would have at least smiled and said "Thanks that was really nice of you to go to all the trouble" Dahhh…kids these days..just no manners…lol!

        • I’m at work, but if I was at home I would have run got the dvd and listed all the features out for you! Yes, I think it’s worth it. But I’m not normal. Oh wait a minute, I am normal here! The extra dvd is less than an hour of extra footage. But extra is extra, right! I just remembered one other thing that makes it worth it to me – it has a video of Edward/Rob playing the piano different than what is in the movie.

          • online now at target.com….you had me at Edward/Rob playing the piano……that is normal right??

          • Totally normal!

        • Before the DVD came out, some of the Twi sites had comparisons of all the DVD versions that were being sold and I thought the Target 3-disc was the best bang for the buck. I’m happy!

  24. The EW cover… so wrong.

    Big mistake… wardrobe malfunction in the film with the too-small grey jacket Robward wore everywhere. Hello? Alice doesn’t let them wear things more than once!

    And Midnight Sun… a big sad tease. Like offering a tiny bit of smack to hardcore junkies.

    • i know it might sound a little too manipulative for stephenie meyers but maybe it wasnt a complete accident that midnight sun was released early, i mean i know that it would sell millions regardless but maybe she “accidently” missplaced it. because if there was anyway to get tons and tons of people to buy the book (besides putting a picture of Rob on the cover) it would be by giving the fans a huge sneak peak only to stop right before stuff really started to get good. just saying

  25. OMG…..thank you for pointing out the gold and black brocade bedding…..my sister and I had a HUGE conversation about that……I mean I think someone (SM) has been shopping at TJMaxx for too long…..wow. Brocade is only ok if you live in the 1600′s or you are a granny……seriously. I think it is safe to say the khaki skirt can be thrown into the same category as the awesome bedding. Sleeveless and button up shirts do not belong in the same sentence let alone the same body. Come on Steph, why be so stingy…..aren’t we past all the “playing hard to get with Midnight Sun game”……just put out….it feels so good….yep, that’s what she said!

    One last one…..from the movie…..If the Cullen’s are supposed to be the height of fashion…..Rosalie…..acid washed jeans….really????…..and we know Ms. Reed ain’t chunky, but those things did not do her any favors. wow.

    • NReed has some Beyonce-PeteyPablo booty going on in those jeans…as well as the baseball pants.

    • There were def wardrobe problems in the book but I wasn’t too thrilled about the movie wardrobe either!! Case in point: those fugly acid wash skinny jeans!! And all Emmett’s track suits – he’s athletic, we get it!

      But that ankle length khaki skirt takes the cake. Maybe 15 years ago, Steph!

      • “he’s athletic, we get it” – so funny and so true!

    • OK I have NO IDEA what everyone is talking about Brocade bedding…WTH!!! Somebody EXPLAIN!!

    • Could someone plz explain the Brocade Bedding??? I am so confused….yeah I know whatcha all thinking….

      • sorry for the double post…cancelled the 1st…guess it didn’t work… ;(

        • Oh dear….how to describe brocade bedding…..ummm….kind of looks like tapestry material….from the middle ages…..it is hard to describe…..if you ever go to TJMaxx or Marshals take a look at their comforter sets…..usually 3 out of 4 are some sort of brocade fabric. Don’t get me wrong I love me some TJMaxx, but *shudder*. I just can’t imagine anyone in the Cullen family choosing that on purpose….but what do I know….I guess in SM’s world they did! :) Hope that helps!

          • thank you!!…but I never go out so the TJ Maxx thing doesn’t help…lol…is this in reference to one of the other books in the Saga…cause with all my notes (and I have looked through all of them..) I can’t find anything about a brocade bed or any beds in the Cullen household in Twilight…..ok I am officially LTT’s dumbass!!!! Such a twi-virgin!!! Is that what you all call people like me (among other things, I am sure!!)??

      • Yes, in Eclipse Edward gets a bed in his room for Bella for a slumber party and he has brocade bedding and it is harshly gross.

        • Thanks sassy….your always there for me!! Ok overlooking the whole brocade thing….do you mean to tell me that Edward gets Bella a bed in HIS room??? Oh the mere thought of it…are you telling me that they ummmmm “enjoy the bed”??? This is so unfair… you all know about this and I am still stumbling with Twilight…how am I ever going to keep up?? I am so depressed…. :( EVEN IF I COULD FIND THE COURAGE to go see New Moon….(yeah right) I probably wouldn’t understand it without out you and all my Twi-friends to help me…..I am going back under my rock…. :(

          • He does get a bed for his room, I think it happens in Eclipse though? He puts it in the middle of his room and he goes hunting or something and leaves her there with Alice for the weekend and Bella gets all pissy and doesn’t sleep in the bed because it’s unnecessary so she sleeps on his couch instead.
            No they don’t enjoy the bed in that sense.
            Don’t go back under your rock, we like helping you out :) we’re all friends here.

          • @Elizabeth, “peeking out from under large boulder” thanks so much for the info…sounds like a great book!!!

  26. My dvd lets me skip the previews – my friend is very jealous of this fact! I wonder if its faulty – brilliant!

  27. Happy Whateverth Anniversary Yesterday! (could not find a hallmark card that said that)

    It’s true, that EW cover is just EEEEWWWWWWWWW.

    xoxo

  28. The make up and TJ Maxx clearance wardrobe. Don’t get me wrong. I love me some sales, but Rosalie’s pants in the cafateria scene killed me.

    p.s. – I can skip the Summit previews if I click the “menu” button. Weird thing about my Borders DVD though… The subtitles start automatically. Very annoying.

  29. I love how you call Steph Meyer on everything even though you know she reads this shizz now. You are ruthless and I will forever love you and your balls of gold.

    Best, undercut line: Kacki Skirt Bella wears to meet Eddie’s family ->“Clothes Alice bought from Old Navy outlet store as an act of kindness so no one would ever be caught in public wearing them?”

    UC, I also enjoy that you are threatening SMeyer with Fanfiction! You rule! Too much more about this post that I love. It is effing kick ass awesome.

    • ” “Clothes Alice bought from Old Navy outlet store as an act of kindness so no one would ever be caught in public wearing them?” ”

      that was my favorite part too!!! so win

  30. It’s from the movie, but honestly, that line “hold on tight spider-monkey” and that horrendous laughter (Bella’s??) that follows that remark… I fast-forward every. Single. Time.

    I didn’t get that sleeveless button-down shirt either. That’s just, no.

    Happy 9 months anniverary!!

    • Couldn’t agree more, my stomach starts turning about 3 minutes before “spider money,” makes me want to wretch! I mute it every time.

    • I have to take leave of the room right after Edward says, “You really shouldn’t have said that.” The awkward flying (which I can’t watch without imaginary farting, because of the “Twilight Farts” YouTube video), the bad wirework up the trees–spider monkey is the least of my worries.

      • hahahahaha! That fart vid has brightened up a few shiatty days for me!!

        Can NOT not laugh when I see it!!

  31. Mr. Holly listened to part of the Twilight audiobook with me and pointed out the sleeveless button down. Just so we’re clear, Mr. Holly is the least fashionable person that I know in real life. He makes Rob’s wardrobe choices look like they belong on a runway. He actually stopped the cd in the car and said: “wait a second…where would you even go to buy a douchy looking shirt like that?” He’ll be happy to hear that you guys pointed it out.

    Sorry Steph, I love you and bow at your feet, (and thank you for introducing me to the crack that is Katniss and Peeta) but Edwards sleeveless button down…epic fail.

    • Um, yeah. If you guys were not listening to SM when she gave the Hunger Games/Catching Fire shout out, hear this: The Hunger Games rocks! Just one more thing to keep me from doing chores. Thanks Stephenie.

    • Mr. Holly rules!

  32. UC, you know that you’re going to get chewed out by JanetRigs for the Beautiful Bastard you slid in there at the end. lmao!! Janet, just break down and read it! Come on! All the cool kids are doing it.

    M

    • i can take ‘rigs

      • GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! And you’re fogetting I have a secret “friend” who will always back me up!!!! *evil laughs*

        I <3 you, even though FF sucks the balls of a fucking goat!

        • You’ll read it. Oh, yes. You will break.

  33. Eric Yorkie would get his ass beat in a town like Forks. And when would Bella ever give pep talks about being a strong independent woman? Otherwise, she would have hit that hawtness long before book four.

  34. Who is the dude in the white sleeveless, see through shirt? He doesn’t look happy about the shirt either!

    Old Navy Rocks!! ;)

  35. That EW cover will go down in history as the most epic failness of ness ever.

    • I just love the ness

  36. Read THE OFFICE!!!. MY. GOD. ITS. HOT. I’ll take Edward anyway you would care to serve him (thats what she said) Beautiful Bastard, Virginal Edward, Robward,
    Aww, hell…….Dadcase, Cedric, Art…. Robert.
    ** Le Sigh **
    The suckiest part of FF is that you have to wait for the next chapter….. like a addict, not unlike what SM is doing with MS. Isnt there three chapters left of the Office still to come. (wink)

    • God, I hope so… And then maybe an epilogue?? Le sigh…

  37. When did Steph say she was kidding about the Midnight Sun letter?!?!?! I missed that! That would make me SOOOO HAPPY! The first 12 chapters of Midnight Sun were AMAZZZZZZZZZZZING!!! I’m DYING for the rest!

    • she just later said her really strong reaction was a joke… but she never said if she was gonna write it or not…

      • Did she say that in an interview or something? I’d really like to see/read it.

        • i think so…. and honestly i completely forget… i know i didn’t make it up.. anyone wanna back me up!?

          • yup…I am contagious for sure..sorry UC…bet you had a perfect memory before I came along….

          • It’s on her website, stephaniemeyer.com… she put it in her commentary about MS.

            Here’s hoping she was just yanking our collective chain.

      • I never knew that! So, it’s like she’s making us flounder? I’m confused.

        If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would hold out on talking about Midnight Sun and then BOOM!… have it published and on bookshelves w/o any type of promotion. That in itself would be an awesome publicity stunt. You know she has it finished, anyway. How cool would it be when people started to find out? Twitter would fucking collapse. Can you imagine the awesome surprise that she’d be giving her fans?

        • forget twitter, my brain would collapse! even in it’s partially finished state MS ranks up in top 1 or 2 of my fave in the saga

          • me too! MS is the BEST!

      • SM should let Edward/Rob/Edward…write it for her….as it should be, I am just saying…

  38. Also in the book at prom Bella was wearing a high heel Alice picked out for her & not sneakers & tights! Just a terrible outfit all together in the movie!

    • Not to mention that she could barely walk when she went to prom, but in the movie she makes that moon boot look like a regular shoe she is walking in!

  39. EW shoot.. UBER FAIL! I saw it at Barnes and Noble and almost threw up in mouth and yelled (to myself) what the eff is that? HOPING that was not what they were going to look like in the movie.

  40. HAPPY 9th Ladies. keep making me laugh everymorning, only way I can keep sane when I get into work, cause who really works when you can blog and stalk on Rob all day!

    On a differnt note and I know Im late, but the DVD from target is the best bang for your buck CAUSE not only do you get the extra features but you also get FREE downloads of the movie and extra from iTunes for your iPhone or iPod! So I get access to Rob anytime of the day via my phone =)

    • {{{{running to Target}}}}}

  41. “Clothes Alice bought from Old Navy outlet store as an act of kindness so no one would ever be caught in public wearing them?”
    Hahahaha. She sure is something, our little Alice…

    I agree with everything. Especially Edward’s taste in music. How can someone not like the sixties? And we’re not talking about anyone here, we’re talking Edward fucking Cullen. Feel sorry Stephenie. Feel really sorry about that! In my happy place Edward went to Woodstock 1969 and adores The Beatles.
    Btw The Remastered Albums are out! Whiiiii! Edward is so buying them.

    Biggest book mistake: Renesmee.

    • Renesmee! Yes! Epic Fail. There are no words for that.
      The “fade to black”. My god!! Dry hump your fine ass vampire boyfriend for three books, and then get pregnant the first time you hit it. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

      I still cant look at feathers without getting a smirk on my face.

      Edward would so love the Beatles and the Stones

      • “Dry hump your fine ass vampire boyfriend for three books, and then get pregnant the first time you hit it. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL”

        Hahaha. You should check out this creeptastic Renesmee’s Lullaby video I discovered yesterday. It is unintentionally telling the story of a man suckered into fatherhood:

        Watch Edwards face at 0.26. You just know that man is NOT changing the diaper.

        • MY GOD there are some creepy things out there.

        • That was so creepy! ARGH!

  42. “apparently they also think their 70something creepy, old next door neighbors who still have boxes of a discontinued beer from the Korean War days, will love the movie as well.” That really HAS to have been their thought process. Really Summit? Really?!

    I’m still cracking up. Another fantastic post, love you guys!

  43. I totally agree that Midnight Sun stopping where it did is a cruel joke…I think that she has it finished somewhere, with the Twilight Sage “guide” that she is finishing.
    My favorite fan fiction Edward is “The List”. Definitely will change my reaction to some scenes in Eclipse, when the movie comes out. Fills in the blanks, where Stepanie does not go to or touch. Pun intended…

    • their just waiting for all the movies to be made and once they realise they can’t get any more money out of us then she’ll release it and make millions all over again.

  44. I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one going WTF with some of the clothing choices. That sleeveless button up shirt? Really? I didn’t think you could buy them that way, I thought you had to rip the sleeves off yourself.

  45. Did anyone else think they flubbed the part when Edward scoops her up the first time and “flys” through the woods to the mountain top…Rob justs kinda drops her and KStew is once again expressionless….not like in shock or OMG…..her hair isn’t even mussed…I’m just thinking that if I had just had the same experience (and yes I would volunteer) I would have had quite a different reaction to the whole thing!!!

  46. I really hope that SM still reads this. Mostly b/c she NEEDS to finish Midnight Sun. I don’t know what she is thinking, not following thru. EPOV is my fav, and MS was better than Twi. I think esp for grown-ass women like myself who neglected raising their children just to read her books. Ante up, Steph. (Tho BB is not such a bad version of Edward to have floatin around in your head!)

    • ” I think esp for grown-ass women like myself who neglected raising their children just to read her books”

      I would give you a double thumbs up for this if I could!

  47. What a brilliant way to waste an hour. keep it up ladies.

    • One hour? I’m working on at least two cumulatively today.

  48. I knew it!
    Yesterday, I did do a double take when you said it was the ten month anniversary. I really did think it was less than that, I just didnt say anything.
    I remember reading some older posts from december, and it just didnt add up.

  49. Where is that girl that called me & moon Stupid idiots for not knowing buttcrack santa is a beer.. i wanna know if it really is….

    • Is it a microbrew? I think my hubbster drank it once and said it did taste like buttcrack. I think it came in a pack of microbrews from Cost Plus. Not sure. I will ask the hubs.

      Oh, and I am not the girl who called you “Stupid idiots”! Just to clarify! ;)

  50. Hey UC,
    where can I read that Fanfic of yours ?

    • wellll it’s not ‘mine’ but if you google ‘the office’ and ‘twilight’ you’ll find it:)

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