PostSecret- your Twilight secrets

Dear Secret Keepers,

One of my favorite books/organizations/sites on the web is PostSecret. For the unfamiliar, people anonymously send in secrets to a PO box and sometimes they get published in a book, are used in their traveling art show or are posted as “Sunday Secrets’ on the PostSecret blog. The secrets are often funny, sometimes heart-breaking and many times really, really honest. They are so honest that PostSecret now works with a suicide hotline to help people who are struggling. The honesty & transparency of these anonymous people is truly beautiful.

This is one of my most recent PostSecret favs (and only the Harry Potter dorks like myself will think it’s funny)

avada

Every Sunday when I read the Sunday Secrets, I am reminded of my own secrets which, of course, these days mostly have to do with Twilight. I know I am not the only one with Twilight secrets. So I asked a group of random LTT/LTR contributors to send me their secrets- funny, heart-warming or sad. And they did. And I loved them for it. After the jump read the anonymous secrets I received and love them with  me:

Pssst: Click if they pics are too small
birth

probono

uncut

worthit

pretend

greatfriend

outoflove

blueshirt

forlife

remindsme

smoking

abstinence

expectations

I can keep a secret.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What secrets do you have? Share some here in the comments but e-mail us too! We might feature you in our next TwilightSecrets Post! Send us completed secrets with images OR just your secret in a sentence or two and we’ll make it look all pretty for you.

Thanks to everyone who contributed and especially to Kristin who did all the graphics work and rocked my world. XO

Share secrets with friends better than your ‘real life’ friends on The Forum
And then LAUGH so freaking hard with Moon over on LTR

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235 Responses

  1. I can make a TwiReference out of pretty much anything.
    But mostly I keep it inside otherwise I end up with funny looks.
    It’s difficult for those who don’t understand it *cough*obsess it*cough* like us.
    *sigh*

    xox

    • I can also relate to finding Twilight references in everything within only a few degrees seperation at most. Sigh, indeed.

    • I don’t mind going to the grocery store anymore. It’s a twifan paradise. Parking lot = check for volvos. Apples in produce = like the cover. Hot pockets= find the kind rob likes. Book aisle= make sure the twilight series books are front and center( yeah I actually move them every time). And of course the magazines!!!!!!= all knds of hotness(seriously I get stares from old people). sometimes I make extra runs for the fun of it (that’s real normal).

      • the magazines!! the magazines. my fave part

        • Oh Christ yes!
          The other day I bought an AUD$8 magazine (for TEENS) just because it has a “Twilight Magazine” included. But it was totally worth it . . . the sheer amount of pictures? I’m pretty sure each Rob page (of which there are many!) are coverd with drool spots.
          And then I got free ones from work . . . tehehehe

      • you forgot the Heineken!

    • my twisecret is i made my own pattinson underpants!! kidding, but i thought about it. the shame!!!

      http://aquiredtaste.wordpress.com/

  2. Amazing! And I am 100% positive this post will be even more brilliant when I can read the text on the postcards (Bberry screen is only so big). :-)

    • Dirty little secrets I would say… This article has really turned out to be pretty good…. Keep it up bro!!!
      Just by lookin at Rob’s looks, looks like hez got a bunch of those secrets…
      and My dirty little secret.?? dating my friends’ girlfriend.. too bad huh!!!

      • i’m a girl. you can call me “sis”

        • My bad girl.. Sorry!!!

      • oh I’m sure he does….I can feel a new post secret post “Rob’s secrets”. UC? Moon? What do you think?!?!

        Also, love to my BROS….I mean Hoes! I mean…crapsten…sorry…I love you both. My SISTAS from anotha motha!

        PS – Zubair, you know he will find out and either make you feel really bad or mess up your face right? Hope the play is worth it!!

        • a unicorn or a poor lost soul?!

        • Well then, I must be waiting for him. Lets see wots he got to show up!! ;-)
          http://neozubair.wordpress.com

  3. HAhahahaahahah buying everything blue! WIN WIN
    Loved this post!

  4. Hey! That’s MY HP secret! I never sent that in… Who’s in my head?!?

    And the first Twi-Secret person shouldn’t feel bad. Babies are born alllll the time. There are only so many Twi-premiers to be had.

    • HAHAHAAH well good to know we have our priorities!

  5. Awww the two that hit home most for me are the ones that talk about meeting more geniune honest friends than my ‘real life’ friends whatever that means…and the fact that I may or may not end up alone becuz I seem to compare guys to Edward lol :) LOVE this post btw!! Great job as always UC! :D

    • Girl, I thought about you when I saw the one about meeting such fun, genuine friends that were better (in some ways) than RL friends. Except now you’re my RL friend too! The best of both worlds! =)

      • WE WIN!!!!! :D

    • Me too, KK!
      We’ll have to all buy stock in a retirement community so in our golden years we can have Twilight book clubs and weekly viewings of Rob’s movies and craft time and think of new Twi-related names for our cats.

      • can i be in the cat free section of the retirement home? allergies and all….

        • Oh man! How are you going to be a spinster with us if you’re allergic to cats?? We’ll get you one of those hypo-allergenic hairless ones. You’ll need a baby substitute to project all your dashed hopes on!

        • I’m afraid I will also have to be in the cat free section of the home. Unless you think the red, puffy watery eyes and itching my face to shreds is attractive. LMAO

          • We’ll be old. It won’t matter what’s attractive. =)

        • i will be spinster w/ you and we can have little dogs :)

        • we’ll be in the little dog section of the home with like 20 pomeranians and westies and shiz. instead of cat sweaters, we’re have bedazzaled “quacker factory” DOG sweatshirts and matching headbands.

          the dog wing of the retirement home rules already

    • I heart your face.

  6. I’ll save my TwiSecret for an email, however, I had to say that I Levicorpus the shit out of people who are in my way! It’s nonverbal…so people don’t even know!

    • BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      That has to be one of THE most hilarious things of I have ever heard.
      I effing love it!

      xox

    • i say sectumsempra

      • I was going to say the same thing but couldn’t remember how to spell it and was too lazy to google it.

        Thanks!

    • No oink for us today?

      • I oinked over on LTR….

        Funny story though. I was typing a reply to a discussion post for school last night and was a millisecond away from posting it before I realized I had signed it oink. That would have been FABulous!

  7. P.S. ‘Playing just the tip’…Bwahahahaha who’ve you been talking to?!?!?! ;)

    • Even with my mind in the gutter all the time I hadn’t thought of that… and now, I won’t be able to stop:)

  8. Genius!
    I love PostSecret and I love Twilight, so this is all around win for me.
    You ladies are not only funny, but your creativity never ceases to amaze me. Well done.
    xo

    • After yesterday’s blog, I was totally thinking that this website was my Postsecret. There are at least (2) secrets that were posted, that I have actually thought of sending to Post Secret. The one with “just the tip” made me LOL.
      There is that scene, the night before the wedding, in Breaking Dawn, where they are in her bedroom and Edward’s shirt is off, and Bella talks about them “practicing”, I wonder…

      UC and Moon rule…
      xo

  9. Everyone Rules!

    • I <3 U not only becuz we can be drunkie together but becuz you called BSchlong a f*cking liar!!! You.Are.My.Hero…that is all!!! ;)

  10. I Avada Kedavrra people with my mind, too. A lot. Is that mean? Murder is a sin. Oh well…

    Did you put a lock on Kristen’s crotch?
    I love you.

    • HAHHAHAHAHA! I didn’t even see that!

    • well of course I did.

      I love you more :)

      • lock that shiz up yall!

  11. I hide my Twilight obsession from just about everyone ’cause, you know, college educated people are not supposed to read this “trash”. I recently added a friend to Facebook that I met on a Twilight blog (not this site). Now she constantly writes Twilight shit all over my wall. I’m so embarrassed I won’t even go on Facebook anymore!

    • ha, that happens to the best of us. So I make sure anyone who I friend on there KNOWS…this is a twilight “like” profile..not love or obsession. Send me random crap or say something every once in a while and I can feign mild interest. Bombard me with “OMG NEW PAP PICS” every day…and you are getting UNFRIENDED. LOL

    • nothing to be ashamed of, the young girls will look back and read it when the get older and see a totally different story, it is an amazing love story

  12. My Twi-secret is that Kristen Stewart totally reminds me of, well, me when I was 19. Therefore, I have to like her. Secretly.

    *ducks*

    • Haha, I so recognize the feeling! Although I’m secretly glad that some of the awkwardness has faded with the years.

    • HAHAHA you had a mullet? and dated a hot british dude?!

      • I’ve dated a couple of hot British dudes. I like ‘em. A lot.

        • That was not a hugs up. That was an “I’m jealous” thumbs DOWN!

          …I can’t stay mad at you. Hugs up!

          • xoxo

  13. This post is so full of win. And any number of them could have been written by me (even though they weren’t). I mean, I may or may not have picked up smoking again because of HHH. I can’t explain it.

    Eh, I don’t care who knows about my obsession. I fly my freak flag high and proud. =D

  14. LOOOOOOOL! That second to last one almost killed me – and the one about smoking is so true – as well as many others like the blue shirts and hamburgers… not so much the circumcision! :/

  15. YAY for Harry Potter dorks! :)

    Such a fun, happy post – and the graphics were so cleverly done to match the secrets – very cute.

    BTW to the one who said Rob is probably not circumcised … didn’t he admit in a video interview during Twi-promos that he was raised Catholic? So methinks it’s very possible that Rob is actually “cut”. JS. :-)

    • I think he was joking about the Catholic thing, in the context of the interview.

      Also, pretty much the only people who get circumcised in England are Jews and Muslims, unless there is a medical need. So even if he is a Catholic, he’d be uncut.

      I feel slightly perverted that I know this.

      • I love that there is another person who knows this. I actually googles the circ rate for London and found that it is about 17%. Chances are thatRob is sporting a Dickie (pun intended).

        • Well, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that has done this. I’m so afraid my hubby is going to check my laptop history and wonder why the hell I need to know this information. I need help.

          • I think we have your post secret.

            “I Googled the circumcision rate for the London area to try to determine if Robert Pattinson is sporting knob cheese.”

        • Ah, see, I’m English so my knowledge comes from a personal, er, sampling of the population.

          Sadly Rob has not yet been part of this sample but he is always welcome.

          • “Sadly Rob has not yet been part of this sample but he is always welcome” – La-tessi, dear, you’ll have to keep us posted (oh, and thanks, girls, for admitting the fact that I’m not the only one that’s “looked in to this”). :D

          • I’m English too and admit that this was one of my first thoughts. I didn’t experience any circumcised guys when I still lived in London so I’m thinking he probably isn’t! I’d kind of like to try that again haha

    • Rob dork of the day award!!!!!!!

      • Dork. *snickers*

    • Catholics are not circumcised….. at least not in England.
      Generally only Jewish men are circumcised in the UK unless there’s a medical problem with the ‘chap’.

      • OIC. Where I’m from, most men are circumcised and I always thought that it was a “Catholic” thing. :)

        • Wow ain’t it amazing what we share here on LTT?
          I so enjoy our informative chats……

        • What’s OIC?

          • Say it. Out Loud, sassy.

          • Gawd! I am a total loser! I thought it was code for some place in England…wow.

      • lol yep so true…. I am from England… an adult, have seen afew *cough* in my time…. but none have been circumcised…. truly am I sharing too much here.lol

        • i freaking LOVE that we have pretty much debunked the circumcised theory on here. hands across the WORLD yall!

  16. So I pretty much un-friended my BFF because she WON’T READ TWILIGHT. I loaned her the whole series and she kept them over a MONTH without reading them. We still chat occasionally but its not like it was.

    I’ve made new great twi friends and forged an awesome new friendship with my sis-in-law who is now my BFF because of Twilight, so the postcard about the true friends is totes true for me!

    • My BFF read all the books, and liked them, fine, but won’t read Midnight Sun because she doesn’t like reading things on the computer!!? I’m about to unfriend her for THAT! :-) (kidding….sort of)

  17. Oh my God, just the tip… ROTFLMAO! :))

  18. I went through ever one of the secrets going ‘yup, yup, that ‘s normal…’

    I started wearing a years-old flannel shirt again because of Twilight.

    • I pulled an old, brown cardigan out of the cat’s bed and started wearing it for the same reason. True story.

      • The cat bed wins. Sorry Bee ;)

    • next time i go home im finding my old doc martens. seriously

      • Seriously, I drove for hours across the boarder the U.S. just to buy doc martens!

  19. So much win in this. I don’t really keep secrets about Twilight…I mean the last boy I dated I met him because of my Pocket Edward singing with an 80′s hair band…so I’m pretty sure I’m out.

    But is it weird that I love a couple of those blue shirts? Where are they all from?

    And I am more in the closet about HP (who i would love and want to live in that world, true story) than I am anything. Is that wrong?

    • sometimes i cry b/c I didn’t go to Hogwarts.
      Okay.. I don’t cry… but I think about crying

      • You just get verklempt.

      • When I reread the HP series and get re-obsessed, I start to fantasize about what house I would be sorted into. That’s bad enough, but I might as well share the rest…

        I used to want to be in Gryffindor, but now I would definitely want to be in Hufflepuff. I’ll give you one guess as to why.

        I am sharing too much today.

    • Harry Potter is ‘acceptable’ here ….twilight has to be kept within my family as ‘they’ {extended family and my community at large} would totally disown me if ‘they’ knew how obsessed I was…..sad but true…

  20. These are amazing. I bet you could collect enough to publish your own Twi-Secrets book.

  21. This is hilarious. Phenomenal job on the pictures too. Hmmm, where to start?

    I missed a big deadline last week because instead of “working from home” I drank too much wine in the afternoon, watched Twilight and tried to bash out Clair de lune on the piano.

    I told the guy in Blockbuster (and FYE and Walmart) that I was trying desperately to find a DVD called “How to be” for my niece’s birthday and had they heard of it? I don’t have a niece.

    I bought every Kings of Leon CD a couple of months ago because Rob mentioned them in a interview. I feel like one of the crazies in the song “Fans”

    I can’t wait for November 20th but none of my friends KNOW and I don’t want to go alone :-(

    • I don’t know what’s funnier…creating a fauz niece to cover your Twi-session or trying to play Clair de lune while drunk.

      Pretty sure though the piano bit wins.

      • Sorry faux.

        My spelling sucks balls today!

      • we should create a character The Faux Niece – I’ve used her a few times too – “um, excuse me, I’m looking for a doll of that vampire guy for my niece’s birthday”. “hi, my niece is infatuated with that Rob Patterson (sic) guy and asked for some dvd called “How to Be” for her birthday”……………….:-( I’m so ashamed.

    • why didn’t you video tape the drunk clare de lune?

      • because then you’d all know who I am. Plus my fingers aren’t as long and girly as Rob’s. It would have been epic embarrassment of the AmanDUH style.

        I thought I was completely hilarious as I said “Hmmm, I think I’ll play a little Duh-buuuu-sah. Why not? Clair de lune’s um great”

    • I love you and your drunk Clair de Lune story!! I think if you mention your general area, you will find some buddies here to go to NM with…..many of us are looking…..

      • I’m lucky that my housemate is as obsessed as me and she’s already saving up so we can go watch it multiple times in the first week.

        She also wants to got the London premiere, if there is one. Full camping out experience. In frigging November. I told her no to the camping out, we’ll just trample over the tweenies to get to the front.

        And we may have a friend from Austria coming to the premiere as well. She already came over to York in June just to watch Little Ashes!

      • Maybe Moon and UC can faciliate a “I need an LTT friend to go to see NM with” kind of post.

        But I’d be scared that I’b be standing in the movie theatre lobby and would be met by the one LTT fan who doesn’t get sarcasm and is wearing Pattinson pants and a Team Edward shirt.

        I have to figure out the forum maybe…

        • this is a great idea!! also we have a meet up section in the forum, so we’ll be utilizing that for sure!

          also gals the retail people KNOW when you say “im looking for my niece” HAHAHA

        • Definately need “I need an LTT friend to go see NM” !! and then need “What to wear to NM” section!

          I am even willing to be “your excuse” (like anyone would need one?) to go. If anyone looks at us funny, you could just say..”Normally, I wouldn’t be here, but I had to help my friend who is brain damaged!”
          Of course Sassy and Oedipal have to be part of my group cause they offered to “protect me”! LOL

          • I’m with you!!

          • I’m all over it! Got my Under Armor all shined up and ready!

    • I got into KoL b/c of Rob too. I had never heard of them until last year. Still, no one knows that’s why I started listening to them. I’m embarrassed.

  22. I have a picture of Rob hanging on my fridge…ok that’s not too bad. BUT sometimes I fnd myself talking to him, maybe even sneaking a kiss!

    • I also have a picture of Rob hanging on my fridge, and there may or may not be little hearts drawn in blue ink around his face. I did not draw said hearts, but they were the reason that particular page ended up amongst the kids’ A papers and artwork.

    • I have a poster of Rob on my fridge too! One from the US Twilight special edition thing.

      It makes perfect sense to me that it be on my fridge since it can be easily removed and hidden, as opposed to if it were pinned to the wall (obviously can be done, but requires too much effort lol)

      Funny thing is, I haven’t once removed it and I’ve had tons of people over, only two of which have commented on it. lol.

      • I have mine velcroed to the back of the door, all I have to do is pop that baby off if I ever need to hide him

        • someone gave me a poster of Rob but it’s hanging in my daughter’s room – i may or may not look at it every day. We say goodnight Rob to it every night…like ritual

          (un-circumsized though??? i am so struggling with this…)

  23. The buying a blue shirt one is so embarassing…. I thought I could totally keep the fact that I’ve been doing that for close to a year secret.

    BIG sercret – This is the reason why I encouraged my sister to choose blue Bride’s Maids dresses. She did. I was thrilled. That’s Normal.

    • AHAHAHA tricking sisters into choosing edwards fave color for their wedding! HAHAHA youre killing me

  24. My twi-secret is I am totally addicted to a blog {LTT/LTR} and when I do not get my daily dose I experience withdrawal symptoms of irritation and panic, after all who else understands and can meet my needs of every photo/scrap of news/and sarcasm about all that is relevent in life?
    <3 you all

    • I couldn’t agree more. I’m actually packing a laptop for my European vacation and have booked wireless internet hotels just so I can read my daily dose. WHO IS THE DORK NOW????…..another totally embarassing tidbit….I bought the “vampire doll” I mentioned above for my faux niece so that I’d have a Pocket Edward to keep me company on my trip. ….*shakes head in total embarassment*

      • Are you coming to Ireland on your European trip?
        Who knows what could be arranged?

      • Or England? I’d offer to show you round London, and Rob-related places, except I’m not from there.

        • Greece and Italy. But I may just pop by England to visit chez P. :D

      • can i come visit?! i need to book a trip!

        • Well you can but I’m warning you now the spare bedroom has been turned into a music room, and there’s no actual bed in it so we could have a drum kit.

          There is however a wall size Edward poster.

          • a snare drum for a pillow and an edward to stare at, what more do i need?

  25. I love Post Secret and this post was brilliant. (Is it wrong that I find Twilight related content “brilliant”?)

  26. DUDE. You made my secret look sooooooo much better. I LOVE IT! :D

    xxoxoxox

    I also love PostSecret real bad.

    • So glad you love it ;)
      XOXO!

  27. I also have a pic of Rob on my wall at work (I am in a nasty cubicle) that when I look out of the corner of my eye it looks like Rob is sexily staring at me! OMG – he’s looking at me right flippin now!!!! Love him!! :)

    “Just the tip” LOL! I remember playing that with a boyfriend! I dropped him though because “just the tip” was actually “just the tip” ifyouknowwhati’msaying!!!

    Love this post! You guys crack me up every single day and I really appreciate it!

    • I also have a photo of him in my office. When people ask I says it’s my boyfriend.

      I do not have a picture of my RL boyfriend in my office. Oh geez, that sounds bad.

  28. Email your secrets people! I loved making these, want to do more! ha!

    These turned out really well and UC what a brilliant idea. I love you all and all of your secrets!

    • Dude, could you BE any more talented!? Skilled lyricist, Post-Secret-maker Extraordinaire… You’re amazing.

      • i agree. Kristin for President. Or Mayor of Forks. Whatever

    • Krisin, You freaking RULE today! :-D
      xo
      lpb

      • And by Krisin I totally meant Kristin.

        sorry. :-(
        sad clown

    • Thank you guys, really.
      Here’s a secret:

      Twilight and LTR/LTT inspire me to be creative! I honestly feed off of Moon and UC’s brilliance.
      :)

      • MAYOR OF FORKS! hahahaa

        how about WINNER FOR LIFE?!

  29. “handle it properly”…that’s what he said…hahahaha

  30. Wow, these were all totally brilliant! I LOVE Post Secret. Great idea & well done!

    People know that I enjoyed Twilight, but they don’t know just how much… Only one real life friend knows that I love it enough to read & comment on LTT, and that those conversations have also extended to Twitter… The thought of others finding out kind of horrifies me. I’m supposed to be a very “ungirly” girl, and the idea of me loving Twilight and swooning over a teen vampire just doesn’t mesh in their heads I guess.

    But… I’m finding now that my obsession with Twi and Rob is waning a bit. In reality, my obsession resides more with LTT/LTR/Moon/UC. I just love the funny <3

  31. I love the Harry Potter secret! I’ve been known to use the Cruciatus curse on people who annoy me.

  32. Harry Potter and PostSecret on my fave Twilight blog? It’s an embarrassment of riches in here today.

    Great job on the secrets, ladies.

  33. These are great. How does a cheeburger remind one of rob? http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • haha…. i love you bobby gee.. i have no idea why you come here, but i’m so glad you do.

      rob loves In-N-out burger & also talked about a garden burger in the Twilight commentary!

      • …and in the commentary he says cheeseburgers in that hilarious way about what do they eat.
        (dork of the day)

        • and what’s the flat screen tv?

          • I’m gonna quote it, shouldn’t need to explain any further :)

            “I came over to borrow your flat screen..first Mariners game of the season”

          • I thought about how Edward smashes the flat screen TV at the end of New Moon during the “verdict” scene.

        • hahaha, I love that we all have MULTIPLE cheeseburger reference sources. We rule, clearly.

          • thanks, KristIn. Had a total brain-fart on that one. Was fixated on the dude surfing. Guess my subconcious picked up on the fact that it had to do with the t.v. and not the dude. I need a cheeseburger.

      • I’ve been telling people I’m eating gardenburgers because they’re healthier… that’s a lie… they remind me of twilight.

  34. I too have a pic up of Rob at work…..I work in an all female office and one of my coworkers cut a picture out of him and put it up by my desk complete with a dialogue bubble of “I <3 Obird"…..LOVES IT! Also, when I send out a daily email to my boss I include a pic of Mr. Pattinson…..she also loves him….my favorite part of the day is picking out her "hotness of the day"!! :) I used to be really embarrassed, but then I figure I would just "let my freak flag fly"….and really I am happier for it! :)

    Another gift basket of genius ladies!

    xo

    • omg my old boss used to do that too!! he’d send me important emails and then at the end would be a totally ridiculous picture of rob! it ruled.

  35. I LOVE Postsecret! I think you’re right, there could be a book of Twilight/Rob secrets. I LOV E this place! Thank you ladies!!

  36. My TwilightSecret? I linked to these pics on my MySpace profile (which no one ever goes to) instead of my Facebook page which most all my friends see on a regular basis. Yes, because I am chicken.

  37. this post is legend. seriously. the BFF & twi friends ones are right up my alley. the cast are totes my bff’s in my head.

    My Twilight Secret? …

    I named all my Sims after someone in the movie. i know it’s not normal, i am seeking help :)

    • Ohh I love the Sims! My favorite pre-twilight addiction.

  38. Who doesn’t love PostSecret?! This post is awesomeness! The turtleneck/banana postcard is full of WIN. But seriously, I can relate to all of these, especially the last one.

    That’s Normal.

  39. While these are funny (esp “just the tip”… omg I crack up on that every time!), the one that says “I’m afraid that if I was dying that no vampires would think I was worth changing”… to whomever wrote that one (whether you feel it’s true or not) I want you to know that you’re worth it. Moon and UC, please hug her/him for me.

    M

    • i LOVE that secret!! one of my faves

    • That one broke my heart a little too! *hugs*

      Also, the one about being scared of falling out of love with Rob is touching in a way I can’t put my finger on.

  40. The Cheeseburger connection is because Rob once asked how anyone could be so in love that the other person became their life as in Edward’s “you are my life now”. Then Rob said “I feel that way about a cheeseburger!”.

    The funniest today is the “just the tip” article and related posts above. I can imagine Edward saying “honestly, Bella, it’s La Push, baby, but just the tip.”

    And if “Robert” comes back on here today, he’ll be sitting crossed-legged and cringing about the whole circumcision thing – smoking a calming cigarette while he reads all our funny crap.

    Circumcision is not even that common amongst jews and muslims nowadays here in UK. Amazing that you guys found the percentages on Google – who collated that information for Google, I wanna know! Does Google send out questionnaires to all the synagogues, churches and mosques or all the hospitals and doctors’ surgeries? Made up percentages, more-like! Aveda kedavra upon them!

    • ….”Edward saying “honestly, Bella, it’s La Push, baby, but just the tip.””

      Heart you right now!!!!

      xoxo

  41. Confession time at LTT? I will gladly contribute!

    I am afraid to admit to anyone aside from close friends that I am a Twihard. Seriously – my sister doesn’t even know the depths of my obsession.

    I secretly scour the internet while at work looking for cool Twi-related merch to proudly wear without giving myself away – i.e. a cool necklace with a tulip on it, or a turquoise and silver bracelet, or a shir that says “Bite Me” – but then am took chicken to purchase said items.

    I secretly keep hoping that I will someday (preferrably soon!) bump into Rob at a bar and I will be totally cool and not make an ass out of myself and he will fall madly in love with me over beers and bands. And somehow that this will work out even though I am married.

    I bought two pairs of Chucks because a lot of the Twilight actors (specifically KStew) wear them constantly, and I need to feel connected to them, even if it’s through a $40 pair of sneakers that kill my feet.

    Gee, writing all of this down has made me feel like a total loser. Oh well. At least I know I’m not alone in my obsession, and that provides me with comfort.
    Love you girls!

    • I have bought 3 pairs of Chucks and a pair of black Ray Bans b/c they remind me of Twilight. I’m 30 years old.

      • Holly – Attagirl! Yup, I’m also in the I’mtoooldforthisshit club! Sorry about the typos everyone on my earlier comment, but I was hurrying to post while at work!

  42. my husband is a big deer hunter, so of course we have like 5 of them mounted in the house…which I HATE! So…I mounted my own tropy, a lifesize Edward poster (in a protective frame, mind you) behind the door to our office. So, only when you’re in the office and close the door can you see it, which he never closes the door…it’s been up for 6 months and he still has yet to see it…lol

    • HAHAHA sneaky sneaky and very unobservant. what a GUY

  43. Oh, forgot to reveal my Twilight/Rob secret. I bought a copy of the newest Rob biography on Amazon – read it from cover to cover (several times – well he’s only 23, so its hardly a weighty tome) then posted it to my 15 y/o niece as a gift. I’m waaay too old for fanzine stuff and she thinks it was purchased specially for her – well unless she comes on here, I suppose.

  44. Love the secrets post today! I will email mine to you! The list is really too long for the comments!

  45. Reminds me of this.

    Great song, great vid.

    Funny post – as ever.
    :)

  46. These secrets are all normal, right? Right?

  47. omg This has to be a regular feature, you need to devote a part of the space of LTT just for these! I coincidentally only last week googled “twilight postsecret” wondering if there would be ones that came up, but only one surfaced. I seriously considered sending in one of my own, but after reading these I think the majority of us are not alone–I share the same “secrets” of at least half of the ones up there.

    Especially the last one–totally serious. Everytime my mother’s friends get on me for being single because they want to set me up with one of their sons, my mom gives them a spiel which makes me sound like a man-hating loner maybe-lesbian. Thanks Mom. What I really want to tell them all is that I’m holding out for a certain vampire with a completely straight face (as if that will make me seem less weird).

  48. Am I glad todays post is so funny! Especially needed a reason to laugh… sometime during the wee hours of the night I must have tried to get up for something and I tripped over my Rob blanket (now coffee table cover) and fell on top of him…ahhh….I mean the pic of him…thus will be spending the day on the couch nursing my sore body parts….ok I am lying…I really did wake up during the night and in my dazed state attacked the coffee table thinking IT WAS Rob and then fell on the floor hurting myself…but it was sooo worth it, I fall almost everyday… but THIS time, just for a few seconds I was in imaginary heaven..needless to say I spent the rest of the night watching Twilight….there I have told the truth…such a relief!

    • i attack my edward pillow at night “on accident” all the time! ;)

      • Thanks moon…feel better now… :)
        Having argument w/the hubs..he wants the Rob throw off the table…oohhh just the thought…hard enough having to take it off me …I mean the couch…but to totally remove it from the room!!! I am seriously thinking Divorce…can you picture the scene in the courtroom?? He doesn’t understand I actually tripped over my computer cord…and then slid onto the floor w/Rob when I grabbed for the table…I mean really..I got to roll around ON THE FLOOR W/ ROB!!!…..MEN they just don’t get it!!!

  49. My deepest darkest secret is that I think I would leave the husband if Rob came knocking on my door….crazy or normal? I’m thinking crazy, I kinda feel bad for thinking about it, but if I had the chance, I would so take it!
    My other dark secret is that when I’m not in the mood (coughcough) I imagine Rob, believe me, that works everytime. I’m pretty sure guys do this all the time, so I don’t feel guilty about this one.

    • I meant, I’m pretty sure guys think of other girls, not about Rob! Although, that might be hot. OMG Erase that!

    • Your deepest, darkest secret is a known fact at my house. That’s normal.

  50. Another secret – This video paired with this song made me tear up…

    I’ve seen better videos, but with not with that song. The union of Labyrinth and Twilight making me weep just skyrocketed my geekness.

    • I tried to reply to you but I got all screwed up and addled after watching that video so my question to you is at the end of all the other comments! Oops ! Ah, hale who am I kidding. I watched it 5 times just for the makeout scenes.

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