Kristen Stewart in Bella’s new wig!

Oh crap, those were real scissors

Oh crap, those were real scissors

Dear Eclipse Wig Dept,

Since Eclipse started filming last week and no one’s seen Kristen Stewart in her new Bella get-up everyone’s been well: wigging out. Heh. Clearly fans have been flipping out since they saw Kstew’s Runaways hair and wondered what the crap you were going to do with it for Eclipse. Wigs? Tracks? A weave? Extensions?! The mind spins with options! Ok, maybe that’s the 2 “big girl” drinks I just had, but spinning none the less.

So maybe we weren’t so kind to your New Moon counterparts a few months ago when we saw poor Jackson in that god awful poodle wig that was designed for Jasper. I still shudder even now when I see it and don’t know if I’ll be able to overcome it when I’m watching the movie, but well, I guess that’s something you have to live with and not me. Just don’t be surprised if I have Vietnam style flashbacks during the premiere anytime Jasper is on screen. But anyhow, what I’m now currently worrying about is what Bella’s wig will look like. I know we all let out a collective gasp and clutched our throats when we saw that KStew up and got crazy and cut herself a mullet for Runaways filming (you guys more than us I’m sure). Cause now you have to deal with that dead raccoon on her head and turn it into beautiful Bella hair. Sucks to be you all. BUUTT since we’re professional bloggers and total Twilight nerds around here, we’re here to help and I’ve got a few suggestions that just might work for The Great Mullet Fiasco of 09…

Since we’re in a recession and Jacob is now a werewolf you won’t need his old wigs, so why not reuse that for Bella’s wig? Almost the same color, just curl it up a little and presto long hair! We’re in a recessional yall and we all know how Summit likes to save a few clams so WIN WIN!
bellajacobwig bellajacobwig02

And since we’re talking about re-using why not try out the old Jasper poodle wig?! What, Bella’s not blond? Who cares, make her squirm a little for cutting it all off.
bellajasperwig

Follow the cut to see some more AWESOME wigs!

Well since he’s dead now why don’t we just throw Laurent’s dreadlock wig into the mix? This way it will be easier for Bella to blend in in Forks. Ok, ok maybe Melissa Rosenberg will take a couple artistic liberties in Breaking Dawn and set Isle Emse in the Caribbean instead of South America. Jamaican Edward crazy, Bella!
bellalaurentwig

Oh crap, they’re all dead, why not James’ wig too?

bellajameswig
Meth-y Bella!

Ya know what? Forget it, let her rock the mullet in Eclipse! Eclipse will be like Bella’s rebellious stage, give her an I <3 Vampires tattoo crossed out, then Werewolves crossed out and then Vampires again and a piercing uh… you know where and let’s really see some leg hitching
eclipsefakeposter
(fan poster jacked from Eclipsemovie.org and messed up by me)

So lovely new Eclipse Wig Dept. I’ve give you some lovely ideas for Bella’s hair and I guess we’ll just wait till Kristen appears in public to see which one you chose. I’m betting on the Laurent wig… what about you?

Getting wiggy wit it!
Themoonisdown

UC writes a letter to Rob. What could it be about?
Just another manic Monday, head over to the forum for good times

PS big thanks to lionandlamb.org for always having the best pictures to mess around with

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87 Responses

  1. I may not be able to sleep tonight because the scary face you used for Kristen will haunt me whenever I close my eyes. She may have surpassed clowns on the horrific scale.

    Maybe not yet…

    • seriously? maybe we could just replace her with a more talented and less twitchy version with good hair. OOOH, and maybe she can be a real les instead of a fake one so we don’t have to worry about her gettin all up on Rob and his hotness. Just thought speople, I mean the replaced Victoria, why not a new more…..let’s just say diverse actress. One who may be able to bring bella to life without the use of blinking and stuttering. I’m just sezzin.

      • http://www.aquiredtaste.wordpress.com

      • I vote YES!!!

    • wprse than clowns?! WOW!!! i did a GREAT job!

    • pinkdolphin….more like cooked canned tuna…YUM!!

  2. 10 bucks on biker-chick Mulla.

    • she could kick our butts. seriously. even in the leather pants

  3. Ah yes The Great Mullet Fiasco of 09… how will we ever forget you.

    Wig dept. you better not eff this up, this is your job, if I messed up at my job as much as you do at yours I would have been fired long ago… now chop chop get to work.

    • this IS grounds for firing…

    • Have yous seen the wig they threw on Bryce Dallas Howard? It might be competing with Jasper’s poodle wig…..

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHA OMG. The pics! Yoy scared me almost to death!
    “Cause now you have to deal with that dead raccoon on her head and turn it into beautiful Bella hair” LMAO
    Laughing and crying my eyelashes off reading the post. Love it!

  5. I hope to see Bella making that face a lot in Eclipse too. Why not have KStew shave her head? After Edward leaves, she loses it and pulls a Britney Spears.

    It’s really the only way to go with that mullet.

    • Whoops, obviously thinking New Moon here. Ok go with the dreadlocks then.

      I guess the thought of Rob’s reaction to a bald KStew was too much for me to resist.. Unless it could still be worked into Eclipse? Sexual frustration leads Bella to pull a Britney?

      • and then she attacks jacobs car with an umbrella!??!!

        • YES

  6. That was some funny shizz. I really hope they decide to go with the extensions, I cannot see how a wig or a weave could work.

    Speaking of freaky wigs, have you seen the size of new Victoria’s ass in those photos from the filming under the bridge? I hate to h8 on the curvy ladies but surely a vamp should be more lithe? (am I being too bitchy?) God, I’m just not feeling this Bryce chick.

  7. Wow! Kstew in the jasper poodle do = ABSOLUTE WIN!!

    So there’s my vote ;)

    • WORD! KStew looks better with Jasper’s poodle-do than he does! O_o

  8. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    Ahhhh, that is hi-lar!
    PMSL.
    Love it!

    xox

  9. Jamaica me crazy Edward! That was my favorite. I think Kristen would rock the dreads.

    So what scares me is that I thought of this issue myself the other day. Clearly, I am giving Twilight WAY too much of my brain space.

    • No, I totally feel for you: my stomach has been churning on and off since June when I first started seeing pictures of KStew on the set of the Joan Jett film.

      For the longest time I hoped that THAT was the wig! ;-)
      Since I have worn my brown hair long since I was 10 years old, I just couldn ‘ t believe that this poor girl got talked into giving up her hair for..eh, art. Is it a sign of dedication, gullability, or just plain devil-may-care on her part, I wonder?

    • obviously i spend WAY too much time thinking about this and providing wig options!

  10. No Milfy you are not alone. This Bella hair wig sitch has been PLAGUING my every thought for about 2 weeks now. I really need to see a pic of the wig departmen pulling a massive win to put my mind at rest. Is that sad?

  11. Love how Bella has an adam’s apple now. After hearing her say “Kiss me” in the trailer I’m convinced that she really is just a small skinny dude.

    Meth Bella is the best and I love how she looks like a blonde Winona Ryder in the Jasper wig.

    Thanks so much for the laughs today Moony-moon-pie. <3

    • KISS ME!!!!!! *eyebrow*

    • U wish buddy…..more like godzilla….lame!!!

  12. What Summit Wig Dept. should really do:
    travel back in time to the beginning of this summer, leave KStew’s hair as it is and use a mullet wig for her role in The Runaways movie – it’s a mullet, it looks f-ugly by definition, so what if it looks fake and if it is fake.

    • hindsight is 20/20. this was also my idea, but i guess she wanted to be all method for joan

    • hey buddy lookn sexy….send me the link!!! reow!!!!

  13. This is all kinds of wrong.
    But I love it.

    • wrong but SOOO right

  14. i vote for a mullet version of bella cause you know mullets rock the casbah.

  15. I say “rock the mullet”!!!!

  16. What the hell was KStew thinking when she cut and dyed her hair in the first place? Did she not realize that the jet-black (dun intended) mullet wig is readily available at every Party City and Halloween SuperStore? If any haircut necessitates a synthetic version, it’s the mullet. That’s a serious need for self-deprecating rebellion, right there.

    • she’s going for the Oscar

    • LOL very true to all of the above. But I guess it would be slightly embarrassing to be like, “Hey I dont want a mullety-do” meanwhile the woman shes portraying still rocks that look and is standing right next to her haha

    • i’ve got a half off coupon from the party store she could have used! dang it

  17. i just noticed kstew kinda looks like hellen hunt in the jasper picture. in my opinion anyway.

  18. You do have a point about the Jacob wig…that woudl totes work!!

    But personally like the Laurant wig…it fits in perfect with her toker ways.

    • OMG so true, someone get out the pot bikini from a few months ago. perfs

      • you know it was made from hemp. right?

  19. I can’t breathe! I’m laughing so hard! I needed this laugh, believe me!

    OK, now that I’ve composed myself I can read through. I just saw the photos, now must read!

  20. This is too much to process in a Monday morning … between this and Rob dancing cha cha I’m crying with laughter … I literally have tears falling… too much! too much!
    jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajja
    KStew in Jasper wig! Win!
    jajajajaj

  21. “give her an I <3 Vampires tattoo crossed out, then Werewolves crossed out and then Vampires again and a piercing uh… you know where and let’s really see some leg hitching"

    Yes, leg hitching!

    That 2nd photo! ROTFLMAO!

    What I want to know is since people are wiggin it in New Moon and Eclipse, why couldn't KStew wig it in The Runaways? I get it, she wanted to go full in, total method and really feel her Joan, but still…..how the hell are they going to get Bella hair back?

  22. “Jamaican Edward crazy, Bella!”
    HAHAHAHA! This post is the recipe for all things win.

    You have some mad photoshop skills, Moon – I’m very impressed. The only other one I’d like to see is Bella with Eric Yorkie hair… I think it would be a very Emo Bella. And Mike Newton could walk around shouting “Hey Arizona! How you liking them slanty bangs, gurrrlllll!?”

    • hahaha thanks i threw these together not exactly my REAL work but good for the laughs!

      and emo hair would be perfs for her sour mood in new moon

  23. Awesome post!!!
    I think we all have spent many a nights worrying about “The Great Mullet Fiasco of 09…”!
    My bet is on the Jacob wig, it’s close enough that I can totally see Summit going for it. Still creepy though!

  24. oh.my.gosh. I usually laugh at your/our posts, but I cried today. Took a sip of cofffee, looked at the first picture, and spit it back nice & slow into my cup:

    “Jamaican Edward crazy, Bella!”

    DYING. tears streaming down my face. why are you my friend? you’re way too funny to be my friend
    x

    • HA you’re too funny to be MY friend! ;)

  25. Heart you real bad!

    • awww i <3 YOU!

  26. Thank God for Moon + photoshop!

    • = scariness!

  27. Mullet Power 4 ever!!!!!!!!!!

  28. GOLD! I laughed so hard i think a bit of wee came out! LMFAO!

    Normal right?

    • so much so we get a discount on depends now

  29. My garden burger hit the floor again reading this = double win.

    Maybe Summit could do a contest to find the ultimate fan and the prize is to get your own hair sewn into the wig? The fan girls would sell their soul to have Rob touch their hair.

    Jamaican me crazy Edward – didn’t I see her on a ride in Disneyworld aboard the Black Pearl?

  30. Um yeah, meth-y Bella is creepin’ me out!

    Let’s get all those wigs and burn them please. You know that’s the only way to get rid of the wigs. Tear them up and burn all the pieces!

    Love the post, not the wig!

    Long live the mullet, or maybe we just get a new Bella, hey they did it for Victoria!

  31. omg,, that face is so funny! I agree, she does kind of look like Helen Hunt in that one.

    She doesn’t look half bad in Jacob’s pony wig, though….

  32. Moon—I’m glad you wrote this blog–turned out really fantastic! Except that it might haunt my dreams/give me nightmares later tonight and everytime I close my eyes………….
    The Jasper wig is too much to handle!!!
    Hopefully…they’ll be using NReed’s wig stylist. They did a great job on her!

    MWAH.
    Ash

    • seriously, just give her the blond rosealie wig from NM. done!

  33. Hmm….so many wig choices. I will have to “mull it” over. Bada bing.

  34. LMAOOOOOOO! Baaahaha! These manips are extreme awesomeness. The 2nd Jake and Laurent manips are my faves. Methy-Bella also a win.

    This post may or may not have made my day.

  35. Oh dear, I really hope that they dye what Kristen has and go with extensions! Someone get that Ken Paves and his Jessica Simpson weaves on that stat! I know she’s a dummy but the girl has some fine hair, and they better do some justice and bring Bella’s sexy wave back.

    Please don’t just plop a wig on top like they did Rosalie. I read somewhere recently someone thought Nikki Reed looked like “one of the black guys from White Chicks” in Twilight and I laughed all day about that.

  36. I am having vocabulary problems again: in my dictionary, a “mullet” is a type of fish. (??) I have eaten red mullet once on a vacation in Greece, and I clearly remember that it looked nothing like KStew’s hairdo. Help me out here, please!

    Speaking of biology, I’ m not thinking fish at all. To my mind that type of hair is more like a dead rabbit, caught on the beach in a massive oil leak, poor thing. (the thing hanging down at the end could be the back paws, or the ears, take your pick)

    I would say a wig should be the best solution. They do wonderful things with wigs these days. (And you can keep it as a teddy bear in your bed at night if you need something to snuggle up against…Rob not being available.)

    • a mullet is a hairstyle usually worn by trashy folks now, or is characteristic of the 80s. it’s short on top and long in the back.

      business up front, party in the back!

      • Oh, what we over here would call a “hockey hairdo”. WIth the same type of white trash connotations.
        Reminiscent of Paul and Linda McCartney around the time of Red Rose Speedway?

        Hanging out with you sure broadens my vocabulary! Thanks for the tutorial!

        • i’m DYING that a mullet is a fish!!!!!! so fun! i’m having mullet for dinner tonight!

  37. LOL! This is so hilarious! I like Laurent’s and James wig! :-)

  38. […] This post was Twitted by joanneeecullen […]

  39. she was definitely wigging out in these pictures! a very down-to earth person, i hope that she remains level-headed over the years.

  40. i can’t stop laughing!! OME! she’d kick some ass with the mullet in eclipse!! let the girl do her thing, Summit! and her face is really scary in the manips hahaha

  41. She would look great with her head shaved.

  42. Stewie actually looks better with the rasta dread locks..luv em!!

    (ps. where on earth do you women get these ideas is beyond me!!) pretty damn funny!

  43. This is perfection, I’m PMSing real bad and this just lifted my spirits immensely. I think if I keep meditating on the awesomeness of K-Stew with Jasper’s merkin on her head along with alternating eating something salty/something sweet/something salty/something sweet, I just might make it.

    I seriously think she is doing the whole mullet/K-Stewing in her own filth thing so Rob can see how alike they are. Can you imagine if they bathed together? There’d be enough Planeria floating on top of the water for 10 biology classes.

  44. Wow. These comments and the pics used are VICIOUS. Hey Kristen, if you ever want to get back in the good graces of some of these tw.ats, just ditch their masturbatory love object Rob – then they won’t actively be trying to humiliate you at every turn.

  45. LOL……… all I have to say

  46. I read this posting earlier today and didn’t give it much thought…though I did think it was fabulous immediately. Anyway, I was reading some of New Moon this evening – very emotional as I was at the part where Edward leaves – and my experience was tainted by images of Bella writhing on the forest floor with a mullet, or dread locks, or James hair…LOL!

  47. omfg I am dead XD this is hilarious. you truly made my day with this post and now Im going to tweet this all over twitter till I lose all my followers.
    awesome work guys this manis are super creepy but I truly have to go with rebel bella XD

  48. Those pics are great. They would make a great scary movie. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

  49. hahahah , that’s so funny it might even make her crack a smile XD!

  50. […] Kristen Stewart in Bella’s new wig! Dear Eclipse Wig Dept, Since Eclipse started filming last week and no one’s seen Kristen Stewart in her new Bella […] […]

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