Blurbs about the Teen Choice Awards

Dear Twilight,

Another award ceremony is over huh? I’ll confess I didn’t watch it. But I plan to do no work and catch up on all the video clips I missed during the day today.

Don’t think I didn’t spend all Monday & Monday night breaking down people, outfits & gossip from the TCAs though. No no.. never doubt me.  Enjoy today’s Blurbs about the Teen Choice Awards from The Quad, Calliope & Brooke.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

The one with that girl we don’t recognize from Twilight

EastFriend: I watched Mark Steines’ cute lil’ interivew with the Twilight cast after the TCAs ended, and could not, for the life of me, figure out why there was a little Asian lady tagging along with the Twi-crew.

  • Did Ashley rescue her from a Taiwanese sweatshop and put her on Summit’s staff, thereby offering and encouraging a better lifestyle?
  • Was sweet lil’ Asian lady really a dealer in disguise? Cause some serious doobie could be hidden in the folds of that scarf!

And then it hit me. It’s Justin Chong. Dude…when did he come out? And where was Neil Patrick Harris?

The one where Rob channeled Ward Cleaver

Leave it to Rob-ver

Leave it to Rob-ver

EastFriend: Rob looked cute.  The scruffy beard was good times.  But the outfit?   What’s with channeling Ward Cleaver at the TCAs?  Even Mike Brady had better style than that.
4 hours later she still can’t get over it
EastFriend: 50 bucks says that plaid shirt Rob wore last night was STINKY. Marcus’ sweat all over it. You know he didn’t wash it. Just picked it up off Marcus’ hotel room floor. Thank God Stephanie prob had the foresight to say, “Let me press that for you.” Maybe she sprayed Febreeze on the arm pits. One can only hope…

Read all about classical music, twilight scandals & real lesbians after the jump!

The one with Depussy

EastFriend: Someone made a video of the picture you got of Rob, Kristen & Marcus leaving Bobby’s show last week, Moon.
UC
: We know. We’re so sad that it wasn’t set to Clair de Lune.
EastFriend: OH MY STARS!  I am dying laughing.  Is this in reference to the “Rob and Kristen leave the TCAs together” video?  Cause that was cinematic genius.  Those two…entering a vehicle…while their handlers enter, as well. Enter- That’s what she said- All to the strains of Debussy, which Rob pronounces funny in the movie. Good times.
WestFriend
: When Rob says it, it sounds like this: “de-pussy”
EastFriend
: Freudian slip maybe?
WestFriend
: “Do you like…depussy?”eh…mine’s fine… i’m not complainin’.

The one where Ashley & Chace Crawford are kissing

EastFriend: CHACE AND ASHLEY.  KISSING.  Dude…this is awesome scoop!
WestFriend
: that is a dream couple right there. Hotter than Zac and Vanessa..
UC
: I think they’re old friends- I’ve seen pics of them together before.
Moon
: heeellllooo nurse. they have been seen before in some old pics but not like this!! favorite line from the accompanying article:

“Wonder if they slept or if he kept her up asking a million questions about Robert Pattinson’s favourite colours.”

HAHHAHAHAA. Somewhere Jackson sits alone crying and writing an impromptu song about a gossip boy.
WestFriend
: I like that she is wearing her sunglasses in the pics. As if we don’t know that’s her.
EastFriend
: UC- girl…you were kidding, right? This is NOT the kiss of 2 friends. No way. He totally tapped that. No doubt.
WestFriend
: that is not a friend kiss…look at Chace! He is trying to hold in a “Peter Bob boner”.
UC
: NO NO.. I just mean I think they’re old friends. that kiss is totally cuz they did it… backstage at the TCAs…

Looking oh-so-innocent... or maybe not...

Looking oh-so-innocent... or maybe not...

The one where Ashley’s day gets worse

UC: I just tweeted this:

I just sold naked pics of Moon & GayVamp volturi guy to Perez for $50 plus a bag of cheetos. A girl’s gotta eat.

and got this response from someone:

RU an idiot?!? doing something like that can RUIN their career! Ur an asshole!

to which I, of course, responded and asked if I should’ve asked for Baked Lays instead.
WestFriend
: How could you even put Moon in that kind of danger! gosh.

The one where we’ve got issues with MANboy

tayl

Tay in technocolor

Calliope: FOOD FOR THOUGHT. Look at the above picture while listening to this song:

DOES IT NOT FIT? Am i RIGHT or am i RIGHT?
Brooke
: I think he was trying to channel GQ Rob on top and Euro trash on the bottom, and I think he may have been wearing spanx, cause those pants were painted on.
Moon:
He also looks like he took a dump in his pants. poor guy. PS: Where is Big Daddy in his matching outfit?
UC
: I’d pay money to not have to see Big Daddy in pants that tight

The one where she may not be fake

"How long till my soul gets it right"

"How long till my soul gets it right"

EastFriend: Kristen looks fierce. Best she’s looked all summer.
UC
: Meh. I hate the dress. Plus watching some of those interviews, I’m sorry but….. she seems like a real lesbian.
Brooke
: You mean dressed like she’d be at the front row of an Indigo Girls concert?
UC
: Exactly. I’ve never thought that before. I usually love her all glammed up, but the nail dress just makes me think she wants to nail chicks.
Moon: I bet she clapped really loud when Ellen won the award for Best Twitter

The one where we say “Mazel Tov”

58080490

Brooke: So glad that Nikki came back in time for her bat mitzvah. I’m pretty sure I have pictures of my friends, at age 13, in a dress just like that. And I’m so glad that she takes her role as Rosalie so serious and that she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the quality of the film since it was already a stretch having her as Rosalie…(cue pics of her TAN AS HELL from Greece)

The one with the best tweet ever

Moon did some tweeting during the TCAs. She said:

Somebody call 911 if this is what we call music these days…where’s the 100Monkeys? Impromptu song about surfboards. HIT IT GUYS!

to which someone responded:

oh are you saying the 100 Monkeys are better than J Bros?

here was Moon’s response….

@DeJaStar 100 monkeys vs the jobros? thats like a battle of who can suck less…

Blurbs are fun! What did YOU think about the TCAs?

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140 Responses

  1. im seriously going to get a tshirt made of that tweet. and then of course WEAR it to a 100 monkeys shirt. and if i want to die wear it to a jobros concert.

    • I’m going to a Jonas Brothers concert next Friday and our tickets are in the front. I could wear a “Jonas Brothers suck more than 100 Monkeys” shirt–let them think about that for a while.

      • Now please give me more details. Are you going with a 7 year old? With a gay friend…?

        • Seven year old. Really, she’s actually seven. I will be intoxicated, which is why we are staying in the hotel adjacent to the venue.

      • Went to the Jonas Bros concert on June 30 .SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.

        • I’d like to hit you now.

    • “where’s the 100Monkeys? Impromptu song about surfboards. HIT IT GUYS!”

      hahahaha you know I <3 those monkeys… but this is brilliant.

      xo

      • i know you do, i love em too! but for different reasons im sure!

        100 monkeys for a grammy!

  2. Ummm, didn’t watch ‘em . . . ya know, since I’m in Australia . . . I don’t even know if they’ll air them here. Maybe like, in 3 month at 2pm on a Saturday. That’s the usual slot for something like that, I think.

    Ashley looks so cute, shame about the nudie pics “scandal” . . . eh, she’s still fab.
    Nikki looks a bit blegh.
    I’m not digging Tay’s outfit. It’s too . . . I dunno, just wrong. Maybs lose the vestage and he’d be a hottie.
    I kinda love Kristen. She looks hot. In a totally non-lesbianish way. But that nail dress looks painful. Imagine sitting down in that . . . no comment . . .
    And Rob . . . welll what can I say, I’d do him anytime.

    Mwah!
    Jayde xox

    • MEEE TOO. I dont think we will get them! Because we got the MTV Movie Awards like the day it happened but not this one. And its not on the foxtel scheduling so just have to watch it on youtube which is annoying.
      BUT we get the New Moon movie a day before the USA which is actually 2 days because of the time difference! Yah for us! :D

    • There was a nudie pics scandal with Ashley? But I thought she was the innocent one?

      • Heh, heh… you’re funny…

  3. Ummmm, holy f*ck! The still for that vid just came up . . . JChon soooooo does look like a little old Asian lady! Fark . . . Per’aps he needs a new look.

  4. I want to know why Justin Chon was even there. I mean, he didn’t even say La Push!!! And, he’s like frickin 30 years old, which I did not know until I was playing on IMDb one day. What the fetch? How can he still pass for 12?

    Anyhoo, Rob could wear a shirt that hasn’t been washed in years and I still wouldn’t kick him out of bed. =) And I liked how they made Taylor be the official Twilight speaker when they accepted their eleventy million awards. Anyone else see how he was pushed up to the mic? I think they were trying to avoid DrunkRob speaking. They failed, I won.

    • Justin Chon is THIRTY??!! No waaaaay! You sure Imdb didn’t say he was just three?

    • Wait, WHAT? He’s 30?

      Well it wouldn’t be the first time. Look up the dude that plays Hannah Montana’s brother. He’s like 30 as well.

    • no way… THIRTY!?

      • The fact that he’s a GUY and 30 is pretty amazing.
        he looks definately “post op”…

        Nail dress, (ouch).
        I’d prefer to call it her porcupine dress.

    • “I want to know why Justin Chon was even there. I mean, he didn’t even say La Push!!!”

      You, my friend, are hilarious…

      Also, I had to go to IMDB to check out this 30-yr-old business myself. My mind is officially blown.

    • I, for one, was delighted to see him! (since you identified him for me…) I’m very concerned that he will have less screen time in NM, and therefore no sweet lines for me to obsess on for years….

      • i wasn’t planning on watching the TCA, but since justin was there, i may have changed my mind. (it will air today here).

        it hurts just to think we won’t get more yorkie in nm.

    • BTW – I did imdb him…he’s 28 and was in a movie that went straight to DVD called “Balls Out”.

      • I don’t know why this made me laugh…hard.

        • omg, me too! Eric Yorkie-Ball’s out! That’s comedy gold there. I’m still snickering…

  5. KStew has great pins.

    Moon – howmany times have you seen Rob in the last month? And are you still shaking? Dizzy? Coherent? -/

    • See this is why I am best in the forum – you can EDIT!!!

      Meant to say:

      Are you still dizzy? Shaking? Are you coherent? Or still wobbly?

      You go girl! Noone deserves it more and hope UC gets to see him soon :)

      And pins are legs :)

      pin pegs = legs (Cockney rhyming slang)

    • Now that I know what pins means I have to agree. I thought the same exact thing yesterday…when she glams up her gams are front and center the hottest thing about her.

      Also, I thought her skirt was made of roach clips.

      • BWAH!!!!! Roach clips. Functional.

    • like 100 times. i’m so mad at her

    • i cant keep track anymore. i need my rob-encounter tracker

      and im just now coming out of my robhaze from the last week. whew i think my heart rate may have slowed to semi normal today

  6. So I watched the TCA’s, all two hours of them and am 1st hand embarrased for myself that I did! I’m pretty sure I lost half of my brain cells last night.

    The MTV MA’s were a thousand times better than TCA’s at least with the MMA’s they kept the camera on Rob the whole time. I think the TCA’s has a total of 2 minutes of Rob–total fail.

    I have to say out Nikki, Ashley and Kristen I actually liked Kristen’s dress the best, it fit her personality, went right along with the bitchface that we all know and love. And the mullet actually looked decent when effort is put into it.

    Taylor looked weird and Justin Chon didn’t fit in ANYWHERE. I thought Kellan and Jackson looked and Rob, well when does Rob NOT look?!?

    • for a mullet…. it did look decent.. FOR A MULLET!

      • I can’t believe you just said that. I can’t believe I agree.

    • Seriously, they could have made their show a tad less lame if they had just panned to Rob at every possible opportunity. Come on guys, get with the program!

  7. Justin totally looked like someone said 10 minutes before the show started ‘Quick! We need one of the random ethnic kids!’ and he was the only one who answered the phone. They were already in his driveway by the time he got off the phone and decided to glam himself up with that scarf.

  8. Did you put an Indigo Girls lyric below a picture of Kristen?

    I seriously love you, Moon, for this. I’ll now be singing Galileo for the rest of the day. In 2-part harmony…UC, sing with me!

    Best ever was this: “de-pussy.” I will now & forever think of West Friend whenever I listen to “de-pussy.” I love me some Clair de Lune, but have you ever heard “Nocturne?” Hauntingly beautiful.

    I digress…

    Poor Justin Chon. But I did love him in Memoirs of a Geisha.
    (HIT IT!)

    • LA, thank you for pointing out the picture comment!

      Meant to say the Taylor one, “Technocolor” was absolutely brilliant.

      UC, as always, your humor and wit astounds me.

      PS, I LOVE Indigo Girls…love their cover of Romeo and Juliet. AMAZING.

      • i like that you two figured out my sneaky captions:)

    • dude, bitch.. that was ME……

      • I apologize. I never read who writes on any particular day…usually i can tell the differences between your “blog voices,” but I clearly wasn’t listening well enough today. Please forgive me. And don’t call me a bitch!

        And I will ALWAYS catch an Indigo Girls reference. As I’ve seen them live many times, and as I love them. Best songwriters EVER. (After Paul Simon. And now…Bobby Long.)

        p.s. Justin was SO in Memoirs…I’m certain he was “Geisha in Training, #7.” Let’s check his IMDB profile.

        • HAHA! Seriously though. I was like “that can’t be Christian, she’s taller… and just.. no. But who??” Ah, yes, then the realization occurred and I could not stop laughing.

          I promise, if you can find a pic of him turned around you’ll see the Hello Kitty backpack he had on!

    • omg… memoirs of a geisha… HIT IT

    • this is a UC post, but i do love my some indigo girls and would sing some harmony with you while we wear denim vests.

  9. I did not watch the TCAs. Refused. Instead, I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic which made me irrationally irate about how they ruined the books, blended more than one book together to get CRAP. Now I kinda knew this going in, but ANYTHING was better than watching the TCAs.

    Dear Eastfriend,
    Are you saying that Robbie and Marcus spent the night together? This comment was pure win!

    “EastFriend: 50 bucks says that plaid shirt Rob wore last night was STINKY. Marcus’ sweat all over it. You know he didn’t wash it. Just picked it up off Marcus’ hotel room floor. Thank God Stephanie prob had the foresight to say, “Let me press that for you.” Maybe she sprayed Febreeze on the arm pits. One can only hope…”

    Dear Moon,
    I heard through the grapevine that East Friend loves herself some JBros. You may have a throwdown. I want to watch.

    Dear UC,
    Stewie is looking mighty butch, especially in the interviews. I’m starting to think that Stewie has some hidden piercings down below. Seems like something she would do, especially after seeing the heavy metal dress.

    Dear Westfriend,
    You are the cutest with saying, “Gosh.” Think I will attempt to use that today at work.

    Love you all!
    Brooke

    • I bet Marcus & Rob DID spend the night together. Maybe someone else was there with them. Someone with a mullet. Menage a trois, anyone?

      p.s. Oh, pipe down, you haters. I don’t “ship” anyone. Well…maybe now I’ll ship Marcus and Rob. That’s just genius right there.

      • It probably was a three way.. TomStu was hiding under the bed.

      • Would that make them Robstencus?

        • now it’s just getting confusing.

          but i would totally cosign some sort of britpack threesome

  10. …Why there was a little Asian lady tagging along with the Twi-crew… And then it hit me. It’s Justin Chong. Dude…when did he come out? And where was Neil Patrick Harris?

    Ok, srsly… I can’t stop laughing at that! I may not have been able to make it through the rest of the post because I’m laughing so fucking much at that…. Neil Patrick Harris… fucking priceless!

    Oh girls you slay me! :D

  11. Has someone lost their funny? Awww. There There.

    Kristen looked awesome I thought, love that outfit. I’m totally Team Kristen now. I like her way more than Rob (as long as I don’t think about finer points of Rob too much) although I too worry about the lesbianism, I mean did you see how she clung to Nikki when they were up accepting the awards and Robwaldo was talking into the microphone all confused because his usual hair fixing hand was too busy holding the surfboard? She was practically dry humping Nikki up there (um, are we allowed to say dry humping on here?)

    To be fair, she also did bite a small chunk off of Taytay’s shoulder in one of the interviews, so maybe she’s just not that fussy? It’s fine, Taytay has a lot of shoulder to spare.

    Not keen on Nikki though. Something about her is so off putting, can’t quite put my vitriol on it – maybe someone can help me out with that?

    Wish someone would make a vid of all Rob’s posey faces with captions. My particular favourite is Blue Steel (‘Zoolander stole it from Rob’); I can just hear Steph talking in his head (suck the lemons Rob, suck the lemons). Still, I’m not complaining, the pout is totally worth it.

    So, perhaps I’m a bit annoyed with the ‘working it’ Rob, but to be fair, they make him do it, it’s not his choice. My favouite is still the goofy and spontaneously smiley Rob. And Kristen. Don’t care, I just dig that kid. (Kristen and I could form an unimpressed club and spend time being unimpressed with eachother’s profoundness)

    Finally, Rob’s outfit – he totally did that to annoy me. Yup. That’s right. He sat down and thought, what could I wear that would really piss off PG? I know! I’ll dress up like trailer trash going to a job interview!
    Although, maybe he thought there’d be less screaming if he looked like he just woke up in a dumpster with a homeless person’s clothes but he was being foolish. Clearly, any reminders of dumpsters are guaranteed to drive the fangirls even more crazy. Silly Rob.

    • I’m not fond of Nikki either. Never have been. Don’t know why, though.

      ‘And Kristen. Don’t care, I just dig that kid. (Kristen and I could form an unimpressed club and spend time being unimpressed with eachother’s profoundness)’

      This is killer win. I dig Kristen, too. I love that her sense of style says “I’ll wear what I like and I don’t give a f*ck what anyone thinks.” She’s 19 and can get away with it. And it’s awesome.

      • the thing is… i’ve looked up her stylist.. and her stylist dresses some of the hottest, prettiest young gals in h-wood.. so i’m shocked that nasty piece of junk from home depot was allowed through…

        • I met her stylist… Friday night, friend of a friend… she used to be Kstews stylist also… am doing further research to determine if she picked her dress or not. cuz yeah, it was that bad

        • Home Depot? OK, that’s amazing. But I seriously liked it. The skirt part…not the top. The skirt was cutting edge. Literally. But it was also visually interesting, full of texture, and very fresh.

          OK, so I sound like I’m describing a Jackson Pollock piece at the MET.

          Regardless of whether you liked the outfit, those shoes were ROCKIN’. I must have them for my own.

          p.s. Wow–she even has a stylist? Is it someone who works at Pac-Sun? Or Journeys? I think her style consists of vintage t-shirts, tied in the front, skinny jeans, and Chucks. I kinda love her for being anti-establishment.

          • i liked the top!

        • What I don’t get is how did she sit down in the nail skirt, without getting, uh, nailed?

          • My inner 13-yr-old boy (what, you know you have one too) just chuckled at that comment.. heehee “nailed”

          • Hee hee, it was my inner 13 yr-old boy that thought it in the first place… :-)

        • I heard somewhere the skirt is Rock and Republic out next month.

      • Yeah, she totally carries it off (imho)

        In other news, I just read on livejournal about Daily Mail’s newest piece of genius. Apparently, Rob is really into Miley Circus, I mean Cyrus, and he “asked his ‘people’ to introduce him and talked to her and they swapped numbers”. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

        • meeting Miley Circus is known as covering all his bets—sorry, bit i’ve been suffering extreme laugh cramps since the top of the page—LOL

        • Please say it isn’t so! Tell Disney to keep their stink off of him! Having said that…. what’s with Rob and the just under-age fixation? First gets a crush on a 15 yr. old (Kristen in Into the Wild)…. then almost bites an 8 yr. old (I need you to bite me: YouTube it)… and now the Cyrus chick…. I mean if it’s true, that is.

          Rob… just say NO!

    • @ PG

      LMAO
      Fangtableous and right on!
      ie. the “blue steel look from zoolander”, suck those lemons baby !!!

      Trailer trash Rob….
      yeah, he looked like he was dumpster diving, but thats kinda his usual casual look. -But he was totally pissing drunk I think. His eye balls were kinda rolling around in his head.

      Nikki – I think she does her Nik smirk. Perhaps that’s what you find annoying? but she can’t help it me thinks.

  12. I think there should be a rule that Taytor-Tot speaks for the entire crew at all public events. He did a great job each time he was on stage…clearly he took his public speaking classes seriously, that or, Big Daddy gave him the “you represent the family well or you’ll be sleepin with da fishes” speech.

    I thought Ashley looked cute but all I could think about were naked pictures. Nikki is pointless…not as pointless as Justin but at least he had good lines in the movie.

    AND

    Kellan looked like he was ready to lead a group prayer for Miley and her stripper ways.

    I can’t believe I actually watched that crap.

    Remember to follow Ellen cause she will be giving away $1,000 to someone for college or to give someone to buy you beer.

    • haha… is there context to the ‘buy you beer’ comment? or are you just being hilarious?

      Kellan- being a good youth group accountability partner for Miley!!!! Forgot to talk about him!

      • No, at the end of her award she said exactly that.

        I could never be as funny as Ellen…even if it is wrong to encourage underage drinking.

      • Ellen really said that. It was the most entertaining part of the entire show.

  13. Ok, I’m sorry but I thought Kristin looked terrible! She looked like she needed another hit of something….
    Rob, *sigh*, he looks good no matter what he does…he could be bald and those eyes could totally slay me!
    Ashley looked awesome, Nikki not so much, Catherine looked old!
    I think the guys totally outdid the girls! I can’t believe that Taylor is only 17 – I keep repeating that to myself! He’s so self-assured and articulate! Very cool dude!

  14. “to which I, of course, responded and asked if I should’ve asked for Baked Lays instead.”

    ROTLMAO! Brilliant!

    Can I just say that I’m pissed we only got one audience shot of Rob and that was when Selena Gomez won her award. However, there was one moment when you can see Rob, Catherine and Kellen on the couch during Miley’s performance and the look on their faces is pure priceless.

    I’ll have all media show coverage up in the forum video section tonight.

    • you’re the best!

  15. Also, one last thing….Hugh Jackman dancing to BEP “I Got a Feeling” was awesome…he was singing along.

    HOWEVER, someone should have given him some clinical strength Degree…dude was SWEATING!!!!

    gross.

    • I ♥ Hugh! And the BEP’s were awesome! I ♥ them so much I want them to play my backyard!

    • I noticed that a bunch of dudes had huge pit stains. Taylor’s was quite noticeable when he accepted his award for fresh face. They should have taken back the award in penalty for “not fresh pits.” It must have been hot in there.

      • I thought so too but the JoBros weren’t sweating…of course it could be argued that they might not be manly men like Taytor-Tot and HUGE Jackman.

  16. I remember being at the 100 Monkeys concert, right after I saw Bobby and Marcus and when it started, I said, “UC was right. I must be a music snob, too.” Luckily I was with people who knew who UC was, or I would have just sounded like a crazy.

    • haha i love you!

  17. I totally hated that wife-beater/nail dress that Kristin was wearing. I like the outfit she wore at the MTV awards better. But the shoes were great. Wonder if she will keep the mullet after Eclipse is done, or maybe she will keep the extensions.

    And I didn’t think Taylor looked too bad, but that pic sure didn’t make him look good.

  18. My only reaction to the gang at TCA’s (besides, Rob is Hot, Jackson is adorable, Tay is 17, Kristen’s HAIR) was “Is Justin pre-op or post-op?”

    • “Is Justin pre-op or post-op?” = WIN

      I just choked on my Pop Tart. You think I would learn by now.

  19. Come weigh in on our topic of the day over on the TwiMilf’s section of the Forum!

    http://letterstotwilight.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=783&p=57345#p57345

    Even if you’re not a TwiMilf, we would love to hear what you have to say.

  20. Ohmigod. I died, LOLLIPOP GILD! Was that shot of Taylor from a downward angle?? The picture seriously stunted his legs.

    I thought Kristen looked great because she’s always in her own sense of style. Never something I would wear, but good for her. I think that Rock and Republic dress was supposed to be worn without anything underneath (unless you count some tape), but I DON’T think that would have been her way to go. She’s strangely modest.

  21. I liked it when Kristen was twirling her hair, impersonating Rob, and her comment about cheat hair (at first I thought she said chimp hair) was funny, and I liked her punk outfit.
    Everyone else’s was just blah. Rob didn’t disappoint, with plaid and ugly sneakers.
    Ashley and Chace = good looking couple. Her naked pictures: WHO CARES!

    • I think she said “Chia Pet” hair.

  22. I always get all pumped up to leave a witty comment when I’m on my way to LTT/LTR, but I can’t dream up anything even CLOSE to what you guys say… Seriously, I love the way your brains work.

    Also, those tweets you posted are seriously tempting me to join Twitter. And I was soooo anti-Twitter for a very long time. But now it looks like it’s just another channel to absorb the hilarity.

    Well done ladies – bravo.

  23. All I gotta say is that bitch(Kstew) has some audacity and some nerve talking Rob having ‘chia pet’ hair!!! This coming from the mother/queen of all greas-grimey-mullets!!! Uh…’hello kettle this is the pot…your black’ wonder if that rings any bells for her?? And holy shiz Justin Chon was like unrecegnoziable!!! Still dorky-gay looking but none the less… :D

  24. I watched the show, and I feel like I want those two hours of my life back. The best moments of the night actually involved Zac Efron (WAIT! DON’T SHOOT!)

    When Ellen said she was going to give out personal phone numbers of celebrities, she said Efron’s name first and all the tweens sqeed and shouted, and then she mentioned giving out Rob’s number and the camera was on Efron and Naked Hudgens, pure hilarity ensued. The screaming volume quadrupled at the mention of Rob, and Efron’s face fell into the fakest smile I have ever seen issued by any celebrity and Naked had to fight back an eyeroll. I’m sure Jena can find this video for us.

    The next, and even more hilarious part, was when Efron accepted his award (I can’t remember which one), he FORCED himself to “casually” rake his fingers through his hair and to leave it in disarray. It was so deliberate, that the look on his face looked like pure concentration…”channel Pattinson, channel Pattinson…” Has anyone noticed that he’s completely changed his hairstyle and wardrobe? It reminds me of Mike Newton in New Moon, changing his hair to look like Edward’s.

    • Omg.. i MUST see this!!!!!!! (the ellen phone number part) JENA! FIND IT!

      • I just saw LaineyGossip’s tweets from last night and she noticed it too. She tweeted “screams for rpattinson louder than for lipgloss. Efron wants his nanny, warm milk, and cookies” LMAO.

      • Can’t access youtube from work to find it but I do have it and will upload it this evening.

        • Thanks, Jena! You’re our girl!

      • See Gayfron and his hurt ego.

        • Yesssss! Thanks, Kelsey!

      • AshleyT and CobinB are like proud parents.

        • See? See? Unnatural hair tousle.

    • That’s just the funniest thing EVER! And I was thinking the same about ZEfron’s wardrobe. I don’t remember seeing him, but in pics wasn’t he wearing a plaid shirt and chucks with some ratty jeans? I dunno. I concur though.

      M

      • Yes, yes he was. Soooo channeling Rpattz

    • would just like to repeat what i posted on RAoR: ‘imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’—we’ll probably see quite a number of Robtators among the so-called Hollywood studs—LOL

    • Yes, I thought this exact same thing as I watched!!!

    • I thought the same thing!! I was watching with my brother’s girlfriend (cuz we’re just that cool, suckers) and I looked at her and was like WTF???? When Zefron ran his hand through his hair, I nearly pissed my self laughing. Someone’s been hitting up youtube for cool pointers!!

    • Holy shiz! I saw the pics of gayfron and thought ‘wow, looks like he went to the set of remember me and raided the closet’. But, now? Seeing the hands through the hair? What a joke! That is funny shiz! Who knew disney kids could be so funny?

  25. “…I have to say out Nikki, Ashley and Kristen I actually liked Kristen’s dress the best, it fit her personality, went right along with the bitchface that we all know and love. And the mullet actually looked decent when effort is put into it.”

    ok, ok, I just have to get this out there… Please, oh please, can someone just offer to dress the girl! She looked so bad I think she needs to be on Operation Repo! No boy or girl in their right mind would mess with that chick with the bullet skirt. Can she not put on a pretty dress? Rob could have worn some tighter pants, but heck, whatever he wears is fine with me. If I have to look at Kristen looking like a wannabe biker again, I’m going to throw up. If she wants to be a bad girl, then at least put on some pretty pants or shorts. Jeez, she looks really bad. At least she wasn’t twitching all over the place! SOrry girls, I just had to get that out. She just depresses me. So beautiful and a great figure and she wears the worst things possible…Forgive me….

  26. You all are all kinds of crazy. That TCA thing was God awful…but I made it through with my alcohol.
    God Bless alcohol!

    • @Janetrigs.
      I tried with alcohol.. still didnt work. kept walking outta the room and changing the channel.
      Ran out of vicodine.

      Gayfron.. (aww) come on now.. he’s sweet in an irritating kinda way. didnt you see how he tried to imitate our boy by running his hand through his hair and wearing the plaid?

  27. LOL! That’s what Efron gets for making fun of Twilight. Remember when he said he could never do or be in Twilight because he would just laugh the whole time? And I thought “and singing while dribbling a basketball and dancing in flower beds doesn’t make you laugh?!” He needs to stop and think about what he said, LOL!

    • In case you didn’t know, I hate Gayfron! But you already know this.

  28. Neil Patrick Harris is WAY too cool to be hanging out with Justin Chon. I mean really?! Do you think the NPH would be caught dead around The Chon? I don’t think so. lol!

    M

    PS – My hubbs said last night as we were watching “whoa, Yorkie’s gotten a little light in the loafers, ya think?” OMG!! I was dying. Lit’rally dying from laughter.

    • omg, your hubs can identify yorkie and call him by name. I may be in love….It’s actually hard to imagine he could have gotten lighter in the loafers since Twilight….

    • NPH wouldn’t do that.

    • As the official NPH set stalker, i feel like the best person to comment. NPH would only hang with Justin Chon if he knew the counterpoint in the confrontation scene of Les Miz. If you have no idea what I’m referring to, then you are not a true NPH fan, just sayin.

  29. I’m sorry, but I have to say it since no one else has. Last night, Rob totally had his Doucheward face on. Don’t deny it. He was Doucheward. The whole time I had this playing in the background of my mind:

  30. UC you are my soulmate……I spent a good, solid minute or two trying to figure out who the heck the elderly Asian lady in the Twilight lineup was. I thought “she must be a wardrobe person with major connections” or “a Summit mole placed there to keep Robsten a Bible’s width apart at all times”. Who know JC was really a crap transvestite?

    • Meant to say *knew*. hee hee I could make a joke there but I won’t……….

  31. Dear Kristen,

    Seriously? I really want to not hate you, not necessarily like you, but just not hate you. You’re making it increasingly hard.

    WTF are you doing?? It’s the Teen Choice Awards Kristen!

    The oooooooooonly reason you can afford all those spikes hangin off your “dress” and that chipped black nail polish is because these kids went to see you stammer and blink in theaters multiple times! Their parents aren’t on vacation right now because of how many times they went to see your “movie” and the crap they just haaaaad to haaaave from Hot Topic with your face on it.

    I get it, you’re playing Joan Jett and getting all “indie” with Dakota over on set and that’s absolutely fine. I’ll probably go see the movie, for real, but did you not realize that there are these things called hair dressers and stylists here in the US of A? I bet your co-star Ashley has one when she’s not nekkid, you could have borrowed hers to style that mullet you’ve got going on. It might have looked nice and not unwashed and dirty and, basically, like a mullet.

    You can do better, we’ve seen you do better. Since your fans already have you married to Rob it might be best for you to step up and start showering too. If a dirrty British boy can do it, so can you.

    Sincerly, Samalia.

    • OK it may be my advanced age, but I kinda thought she made an effort and dressed up exactly right for the teen choice. You mean to say that’s not what all the tweens want to wear these days?
      (In addition to being ancient, I’m also childless so wouldn’t know)
      Besides, she’ll have to get her hair done for the Eclipse and you can’t colour and process hair twice within ten days I would have thought? Maybe she should have gone with a wig?

      Oh my, I truly have become Team Kristin. As if I didn’t have enough problems..

      PS Your post still made me laugh so thumbs up

    • From InStyle.com:
      The 2009 Teen Choice Awards
      Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed
      Before joining up with New Moon co-star Nikki Reed inside the Universal Amphitheatre, Kristen Stewart ruled the red carpet in a Rock and Republic dress, Jerome C. Rousseau booties and an in-between pompadour updo styled by Adir Abergel of Frederic Fekkai.

      • http://ow.ly/jyL5

        page 3/7

      • wait wait, someone actually styled that hair? my eight year old cousin’s hair looks better than that when she’s playing salon with her friends!

  32. ‘I’d pay money to not have to s ee Big Daddy in pants that tight’—man, UC, on this point you could probably take up a collection—

    you have also seriously jolted my sense of music appreciation—never again will i hear (or play) anything from a certain French impressionist without hearing ‘de-pussy’ in rhythmic competition with JAG’s Pussygate—

    today i also nailed the kind of music my wierd head really needs: Lollypop Guild is the way to go—Girl, do you lie awake at night dreaming these things up?—first a foto of a seriously short Taylor in semi-Rob garb & then the little folks’ chorus from Wizard of Oz—

    by now i’m completely wizarded out—luvya much—

  33. you see how weird my head is—even forgets how to spell—

  34. Blurbs are hilarious!!!
    “and could not, for the life of me, figure out why there was a little Asian lady tagging along with the Twi-crew.”
    Yes! I, unfortunately, watched the show and when the cast came on stage I had a similar thought. He was standing near Taylor, thought maybe it was his date.

    Rob was the one thing getting me through the show. As long as he brings the scruffiness and that smile, he can wear whatever he wants!

    • I thought the little Asian lady was someone’s mom or chapperone…

      not until today did I realize who in the world it was!

  35. Latest gossip: Rob and Chase are, like, totally doing it! Like, they are touching eachother, like totally!
    http://www.imagebam.com/image/71fbf445071389/

    I can’t decide which one of them looks more thrilled.

    • Isn’t that ed westwick w/ rob, not chase?

      • thats ed westwick.

        • Ops. #epicfail
          What can I say, they all look alike to me ..

  36. Yeah, Robbie looked like he was feeling no pain..
    (Drunk Rob IS the best Rob). No dissipoinment there.

    The old stinky plaid shirt that belonged to Marcus, the blue jacket, the dirty jeans, those sneakers are new though, can’t you tell, his other Nike’s were all black.

    I loved the vid interview posted:
    Where Stewie says that

    “Rob is hiding… messing around with his hair.. His hair is actually a Chia, (where you pour water on it and it grows).” LMAO The interviewer was totally lame to the joke.

    Justin Chong looked like a middle aged chinese woman. WTF!!!

    good times.. made me laugh.
    You needed a few stiff drinks to get through that show though.. I couldnt do it.

  37. Efron was trying WAY too hard. FAIL! And btw, he is fugz.

    I was also wondering about the identity of the little Asian lady with the cast. Kept thinking it was perhaps an agent or maybe I was drunker (and more blind) than I thought, then it dawned on me — LA PUSH!

    The funniest part of the event was this bit from Dane Cook, which was cut out. Vanessa clearly didn’t know she was about to get punked (I LOVE Nikki’s reaction):

  38. when i was reading the nikki reed part i laughed wow. the dress that nikki reed wore does remind of the times when i would go to the bar and bat mitzvahs in my life. btw i want to quite a lot of them when i was 13.
    and justin chon did look a little weird.

  39. So…

    My niece asked if she could come over and watch the TCA’s at my house. Sure, why not, right? Plus, Jackson was actually going to be at this one, which is unusual because he’s usually being too cool for school with the monkeys. So, since I am in absolute love with J-Bone, I watch and waited for them to show him… (I think it happened about 3 times, boo!)

    Anywho, so I’m watching them give out the “fab-u-lous” award (really TCA?) and Ms. J is ending his/her speech and dedicating the award to every other “fab-u-lous” person out there. So I say to my niece, “I bet their looking for another “fab-u-lous” person in there to show on screen right now”. Well, I hope someone other than me noticed this, but about 2 seconds later the damn camera pans to J-Bone!

    So, of course, I’m a little peturbed. “Why are they showing Jackson?!?! What the hell!!!! What are you implying TCA? Check ur facts jackasses!!!!!” LOL. Yeah, I was upset.

    Well, in my tirade, I noticed something to cool my jets. Originally I hadn’t seen him, because my eyes focused on the gorgeous Jax, but the “little Asian lady” was also in the shot. Placated, I told my niece, “Oh, I get it. Justin Chon is right there. He is pretty “fab-u-lous”, don’t you think?”

    Did anyone else notice that? :)

  40. That Vanessa bit was soooo wrong coming from 40 year old. Eeek!

  41. You’re right, blurbs are fun! More blurbs!

  42. Ashley Greene is my idol…Chace Crawford (who she allegedly shtupped pre-Twilight/Gossip Girl), Adrien Grenier, Ian Somerhalder. You go girl.

  43. These comments kill me. I’m pretty new to the whole Twilight world and the tweeny cheesiness that seems to surround it shames me to my core, but I can’t give it up. As long as UC keeps writing her zingers I’ll be reading them.

    Long Live Depussy!

    • haha yes! Long live depussy….

  44. hi thanks for share,i always came to visit ur Blog:)

  45. hi thanks for share,i always came to visit ur Blog :)

  46. [...] talk about cajones Moon: WAiT TiLL YOU GROW UP A LiTTLE and shut it UC: side note- I love in that interview at the TCAs when he’s asking about the teenage years and doesn’t realize she’s STiLL a teen, [...]

  47. [...] windows… i’m kickin his ass” Moon: They were really hoping someone would make a video set to clare de lune. Cause CLARE DE LUNE’s GREAT UC: cuz every video of K kickin’ Rob’s ass needs to [...]

  48. I know this comment might be a bit late, but the shirt that Rob wore to the Teen Choice Awards, I’m pretty sure I’ve just seen Chandler wearing in an episode of Friends…
    Looks like Rob’s moved on from Marcus…

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