For today’s Tuesday Twilosophy, let me set the scene with a conversation I recently had with my husband:
Me: What movie are we watching?
Him: Interview with a Vampire since you’ve never seen it.
Me: No! I can’t! I didn’t finish the book
Him: You never will
Me: Well…. I don’t really like vampires….
Him: (gives me ‘the look.’ Let me define this look as one which says “are you f*cking kidding me? You’ve spent the last 7 months of OUR lives devoted to writing about them daily”)
Me: Well, I don’t like real vampires…
It’s true. I don’t. I never once read about a vampire or watched a movie with a vampire before Twilight. My only connection to the world of vampires before August of 2008 was Count Chocula cereal. And after Twilight was recommended to me and I bought the first book without knowing anything about it because I was desperate for a quick read for my beach vacation, I read those now infamous lines on the back of the cover:
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire.
And I stopped. “Vampire? What the hell was Jess thinking recommending this book to me?” And I continued:
Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
Okay the last line peaked my interest a little bit. But not enough to overlook the vampire part. So what did I do? Yep- you got it- I read Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book two instead.
Read on about how I don’t like Vampires after the jump
After growing extremely depressed over the realization that made-up girls in smelly, dirty old pants lead a more exotic, exciting life than I do, and I had nothing else to read, I gave in and read Twilight. And I fell in love with Edward. And then with Alice and finally with Harry Clearwater. (It was his fish fry that won my heart- I cannot resist a man with the ability to fry up his latest catch.) But I stand by what I said to my husband, I don’t like real vampires.
You cannot tell me that the sparkly Cullen family are real vamps. Again, I don’t have a lot of vampire knowledge since my only experience is with a chocolaty-delicious cereal, but I’ve heard and read enough to know what I believe. So this leads me to my next questions: Would we love Edward as much if he were a different mythical creature? What if he were an elf? Or a Hippogriff? Or a Unicorn? Or what if Edward was the werewolf and Jacob was the vampire? Would the story work in any other way?
And can real vampire fans actually like Twilight? I don’t mean fans of vampires like Bill Compton from True Blood/The Sookie Stackhouse series. To me, while he acts more on his evil ‘vampiristic’ qualities than Edward, he’s still just a mythical creature looking for a human lady to get freaky with. I mean fans of Vamps that kill without a second thought- tossing bodies out of the way and occasionally stopping to create a companion- Evil, sadistic creatures. People like them! And those people aren’t me.
So…Do you like vampires? Should the Cullen family be taken serious in the vampire-world? Do we only like Edward because he is a vampire? Would we like him as an elf? Or a, ugh, werewolf!? And is it blasphemous that I run a blog such as this but still confess that I don’t even like real vampires?
Hopeless addicted to fake vampires,
See past Twilosophy entries here
Filed under: Edward, Twilight, Twilight Series Books, Twilosophy Tagged: | Alice Cullen, Anne rice, Bill compton, cereal, count chocula, edward cullen, elf, evil vampires, fake vampires, Harry Clearwater, hippogriff, Interview with a Vampire, jacob black, nice vampires, quotes from twilight, real vampires, sexy vampires, sisterhood of the traveling pants, sookie stackhouse, The Cullen family, the twilight saga, true blood, Twilight, twilight quotes, Twilosophy, unicorn, Vampire, vampires, Werewolf