Taylor Lautner at a hockey game in 4 takes…

Dear Taylor-

I had a great weekend, saw some friends, went to some house parties, got a fathers day gift (don’t forget Big Daddy Lautner this Sunday!) and wondered what you were up to now that New Moon wrapped principle photography… and lucky me Just Jared found you at a Detroit Red Wings hockey game! I totally forgot you were from the North because who else watches hockey around here? You and Big Daddy Lautner (my other name for Poppa Filet o Fish) did not disappoint with your AMAZING facial expressions during that game that were all caught on film for folks like UC and I to enjoy… and enjoy them we did!

taylorhockey01
Taylor: OH DUDE DAD!! That cougar behind me just grabbed my balls in the hall and I liked it!!
Big Daddy: Isn’t that a Katy Perry song?
Taylor: Um Yea, something like that, I don’t know Dad but she pushed me into the guys bathroom and told me she’d “make me a man” for Rob’s phone number, can you believe it?! I was like get in line sister!
Big Daddy: Hmmmph… kids these days… freakin 6 pack abs and mystic tans are wasted on the youth… I wonder if they have a McDee’s in this arena. Taylor go get me a McFlurry!

taylorhockey03
Taylor: Daaaadd… I just remembered Selena broke up with me. I’m really sad… do you have a kleenex?
Big Daddy: Uh, I got this leftover napkin from Wendy’s, will that do?
Taylor: sniff… sniff… yeaaaa but who will I walk in the rain with now? What about the umbrella I bought? Who will I give chaste sweet hugs to on the sidewalk in front of the papparazzi?
Big Daddy: Consider it a blessing she dumped you now Son. She’s a Disney girl, it would have taken 2 years to get to first base and then it would have ended in sorrow after the inevitable dirty webcam pics surfaced. Do you want some cotton candy?

Follow the cut to see if Big Daddy tackles a Dippin Dots vender…

taylorhockey04
Cougar in the back: What’s Kristen Stewart doing here?! Wait… is Rob here?
Blond girl in the front: OHMYGAWD! She has a mullet?! HAHAHAHAA!! WTF?!
Nascar Guy next to Taylor: Sing it with me: I LOVE ROCK N ROLL so put another dime in the juke box babaaaaay! YEA!
Taylor: OOOOhhh SSSSNNNAAAaaaappppp she wasn’t lying when she said Joan Jett… that’s a lot of party in the back! DAAAAAmmmnnn
Big Daddy: Wanna make this interesting, Tay? If the Redwings win I’ll treat us to filet o fishes… if they lose you treat me to retirement and Big Macs for life… whatddya say?
Taylor: HUH?

taylorhockey02
Taylor: OH baby look at those boobs on that cheerleader*!!! Dad, you’re totally missing it! What are you doing on your phone?!
Big Daddy: I just downloaded the Pizza Hut app. to my phone… I’m ordering a pizza for halftime… Hmmmm I wonder if they still have those pasta bread bowls…

Aaaannnddd scene.

Oh Taylor we love your dad! Seriously, how could we not feature these on LTT? It was either this or an in depth look at the Kristen Stewart knotted tshirt phenomenon. The mere thought of it makes my brain hurt and Big Daddy can not just be ignored.

Hope your weekend was faboo and hopefully your team won!

XO and Big Daddy Hugs,
Themoonisdown

PS Big thanks to UC for helping me get rolling on this one and don’t miss out on our newest series over at LTR called “Roblosophy” yep UC flips the script on Twilosophy and gets philosophical with some Rob goodness.

Wanna meet up with other LTT/LTR readers? Wanna read the latest in the Robsten/Non Robsten brohaha? You don’t know what Twilight Theater is? You wanna see the hottest videos? Well all that happens over at THE FORUM!

More at Just Jared Jr.

*obviously i know nothing about hockey! i asked UC if they had cheerleaders… they do not, oh well!*

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59 Responses

  1. oh my oh my…..LOL: I just downloaded the Pizza Hut app. to my phone hihihihihihi

    • that really exists!?

    • i doubt it but if it does im SURE big daddy has it! gotta be up on all the new pasta bread bowl combos and if they ever bring back chicken alfredo pizza

  2. I LOVE Big Daddy Lautner!!!! He makes me smile…and Tay Tay me me tingle…down there…er…I mean…um did I just say that?!?!!? ;)

    • um why don’t you take a seat… im chris hanson from dateline NBC…
      ;)

  3. Ahahahahah!
    Pizz hut app!
    ROFL.
    You chicas are friggin’ hilarious.

  4. Love the father/son bonding makes my <3 glow…….
    Sooooo glad I only feel for Taytay what I SHOULD feel for Rob………and don't……..

  5. Love the Father/Son bonding makes my <3 glow.
    Soooo glad I only feel for Taytay what I SHOULD feel for Rob……..and don't…..

  6. There’s a reason his son is the actor in the family…
    Filet o’ Fish never once changed his expression in any of these pictures. His face is affixed in a perma-scowl.

    Guess his pizza didn’t get there in 30 minutes or less.

    (Are we assuming Taylor favors Mrs. Filet o’ Fish? Cause he looks nothing like the Original Recipe Filet. And I mean that in a good way.)

    • we need to get some pics of the mom. she needs a letter

      • I just tried looking her up and found one that CLAIMED to be his mom and if that was the case…Taylor was adopted. She looked like Big Poppa. Well, without the extra side of Tarter Sauce on her Filet o Fish.

        • Give our wolf boy a couple of years and maybe he turns into Big Tay.
          I

      • i have one pic of a lady thats supposed to be her and none of them look alike… but i could say the same for my fam! haha

  7. @ Moon…Ok, this whole Twi theater thing reminds me of something incredibly random…bear with me…

    Years ago, I hung out with some friends for a lazy day of movie marathon watching. No one was really watching the movies, so one of the guys turned down the sound and left the movie playing so we could just talk.

    After awhile, we got bored. Someone, as a joke, said something in time with one of the actors with the sound off. This was funny. Someone else began filling in dialogue for the silent actors, this was even better. By the end of the day, we were all taking turns ‘acting’ (lip-syncing) entire full length movies. I swear I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. It just works.

    I know this has been done already to Twi. Shame. Cause, LTT girls would rock it hard. xo

    • I want to party with you someday.

      • Girl, it’s on!

    • There used to be a tv show that did that…. dangit.. I can’t think of the name..

      • Whose Line is it Anyway?

      • mystery science theater 3000! it’s the funniest thing ever!

        • There is a clip somewhere online of a Mystery Science Theater 300 Twilight Clip. I will see if I can find it. It was short but hilarious!

        • Love that show (and movie)!!! An LTT version of MST 3000 for Twilight would be fantastic. I know at least one of them can do a deep voice Bella pretty well. Please, LTT, do this for us!

    • Are they still on the air?

      I’m sure it would bring back memories, but prob not the same as hanging on the sofa with your friends….laughing until you had a little pee come out. What’s
      crazy is, it was the quiet, unassuming friends that came up with the funniest lines.

      • oh. my. goodness. they mystery science theater guys now do a new thing called rifftrax, where you download their commentary and it goes over the movie.

        they did one of twilight, oh my fetch! i laughed so hard, they said some really funny shiz. the part when edward is running with bella in the forest, i laughed about 10 min. straight! y’all should check them out!!!

    • YES!! mystery science theater… maybe uc and i should give it a whirl! ltt style!

      • You know you want to!!!!!!

        And let me just warn you, that it is virtually impossible to keep from laughing while your doing it.

  8. Big Daddy sort of scares me. He’s got a slight mafia feel to him, like a L.A. style Sopranos.

    You woke up this morning. Got yourself a gun (or filet o fish).
    Mama always said you’d be the Chosen One (not really cause that’s that Pattinson kid).

    She said: You’re one in a million you’ve got to burn to shine(feel the BURRRRRN Tator Tot!!),
    But you were born under a bad sign, with a blue moon in your eyes(funny, cause he plays a wolf).

    You woke up this morning all the love has gone(where’s Selena?),
    Your Papa never told you about right and wrong(special hugs).

    But you’re looking good, baby, I believe you’re feeling fine, (shame about it),
    Born under a bad sign with a blue moon in your eyes.

    You woke up this morning the world turned upside down,
    Thing’s ain’t been the same since the Blues walked into town(Blues is code for Rob Pattinson).

    But you’re one in a million you’ve got that shotgun shine(blindingly white smile).
    Born under a bad sign, with a blue moon in your eyes.

    When you woke up this morning, when you woke up this morning,
    When you woke up this morning, you got yourself a gun(and Mystic Tan).

    Yeah, Big Daddy would cut a bitch.

    • Love it! xo

    • Heh heh. good one.

    • OMG totally has a tony soprano/big pussy vibe!

      AHHH!!!! he’s gonna whack me after he reads this!!

  9. Lovely. Just lovely!

    FYI Poppa Filet o Fish is kind of my fav

    • MINE TOO!!! shhhh!!

  10. finding out taylor is a redwings supporter makes me just a bit sad. but whatever, he’s still adorable. and the penguins still won =D

  11. Excellent captioning, although wth is going on with the blonde in the front row in the last pic? I think she may have sharted.

    • she looked at the mullet again and got enraged

  12. Oh geez!! You guys killed me this morning! Oh, and Big Poppa Lautner called and said the pasta bowls are from Dominos. Get that shizz right!! LMAO!

    • OOPS! you can tell i’ve ordered 50!

  13. ahha that was awesome!!

    a great game too! too bad for taylor and big daddy.. bc PENS WON! haha

  14. Best line ever: “Big Daddy: Uh, I got this leftover napkin from Wendy’s, will that do?”

    So true.

    • no joke! that is MY dad right there though he’s nothing like big daddy

  15. Hillarous as usual, “see if Big Daddy tackles a Dippin Dots vendor” reference was my personal fav!

  16. Taylor is a Red Wings fan? Well, they lost. I was forced to watch that last game and just kept sipping my beer as the whole bar broke into sobs. I loved the post, but honestly can’t look at Taylor the same way after seeing this:

    http://whattheforks.wordpress.com/2009/06/03/i-spy-with-my-little-eyes/

    • Rosalie from ALE {fanfic} “So Taytay is a grower or shower?”
      I’m OK as I’ve nothing but a maternal outlook for this boy. I just smiled and thought how embarassed the poor lad would be if he realised his inadvertant exposure…..ahh poor chap just imagine the ribbing he’s going to take for this pic…..

      • Being a mom (of 2 boys) myself, I know what you mean about maternal outlook!! Knowing that it’s way illegal to think dirty about Taylor the minor, I felt so filthy looking at his junk! Now whenever I see a post about him, that picture pops into my head and I feel shame for thinking of a minor’s penis all over again.

        I love the fanfic reference! I’m so addicted to fanfic now, it takes all of my free time. What’s ALE?

        • If you like FF get over to the forum girl…… Lolashoes is the author start with Let your light shine {ALE } A life extraordinary is the sequal. Lola is probably S Meyer in disguise letting the adult version of breaking dawn loose…….{with alternate honeymoon story line}
          GO GIRL GO………

          • I’m so there!

      • Ew…just ew *shakes all over*

        Cleansing thoughts, cleansing thoughts…..

        I could have lived my whole life without seeing that, justsayin.

        • I think many, if not all of us could have lived a lifetime without seeing that pic. I just hope that you won’t have that image popping up into your head like it does mine whenever I see a post about Taylor. It makes me feel gross every time.

    • that disturbed me for days. he is a BOY still people… so crazy.

      • It is disturbing! Though, it’s been more than just days since I first saw it, and that damn picture is still burned into my brain. I can only hope that a good pic of Rob’s penis will exorcise it from my mind.

        • We can only hope for that pic to appear.

    • Oh. My. God. Why did I go against my better judgment and click that? I was gonna make some comments on his anatomy but I just can’t. My little brother is his age, it makes me feel dirty. And NOT in the good way like thoughts of Rob do. Hmm… we need pics of a hard Rob ;).

  17. I think it’s funny that big daddy has zero reaction during the whole game except to check his blackberry. He seems fun!

  18. This is insane but I love it. Very funny. Bobby Gee Check out my blog.http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

  19. I totally saw these clips of Taylor watching the game on the news after the Pens won and I was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Taylor is a Red Wings fan? OH HALE NO!!!!! Poor poor taste in hockey teams, my friend.

    Go Pens!

    Moon, I laughed so hard at your cheerleader reference. That WOULD be pretty funny if they did have cheerleaders, though. I’d pay to see it them do flips and what not on the ice.

    Your commentary was entertaining and Taylor’s dad is rather “large and in charge” if I do say so myself.

  20. I’m not sure why I never checked out this site, but seriously.hilarious. The commentary on these pics is priceless. I’m gonna link ya on my blog.

    • I’m not sure why you haven’t checked us out before either! But let’s not dwell on the past- glad you’re here! HUGS

  21. I was hyperventilating because I was laughing so hard. I burnt my chicken fingers, but it wasn’t a Filet-O-Fish so who cares?

    Hockey does kind of have cheerleaders, but they shovel ice instead of doing backflips, but the ice thing is wayyy more fun.

  22. hahaa

    the pens beat their butts.

    yeah go penns

    wwhy does every guy i like have to be on the opposing side.

    im fro pittsburgh!

  23. [...] been trying to get back out on the dating scene. When Debbie split I thought I’d just hit a couple hockey games with the son, maybe hop a plane over to ol’ Pari’, breakout the handheld and find a [...]

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