A Two Unicorn Tuesday

miracles do happen!

miracles do happen!

To my husband, the newest unicorn -

I have bugged you for months about Twilight, annoyed you would probably be the more appropriate term. You despised it and I’m pretty sure the eye rolling was an uncontrollable reflex every time the words “Twilight” or “Robert Pattinson” crossed my lips. And I was fine with that, I mean, you’re a guy. You’re supposed to hate Twilight, right?

Then something happened. When Twilight came out on DVD, we bought it and you sat down with me to watch it. And you liked it. Not just tolerated it, but actually enjoyed the movie. We watched all the special features together. You found the vampire kiss scenes just as crazy sexy as I did. The next day, we watched the commentary together. You found Rob as irresistible as me and offered him the number 3 spot on your man crush list.

And I was happy. The eye rolling stopped and you didn’t completely shut down whenever I started talking Twilight. But, when asked to read the book, you said no. You’re not much of a reader anyway, so that was cool.

Once again, something happened. The other night, you started spouting off knowledge about Twilight that could not have been collected while watching the movie. You talked about how Edward didn’t run off after the accident, and how Eric’s role just seemed to be a little larger than it should have been in the movie. When you saw my complete look of shock, you picked up the Twilight book and said, “I’m almost done with chapter 3″ and showed me where you were in the book. “I would have been farther along, but (our son) keeps taking the book and telling me, ‘No, that’s mommy’s book.'”

And now, right after our 5 year wedding anniversary, I realized I have married a genuine unicorn. And I couldn’t be happier!

Your loving wife,

Amber

P.S. Also, thanks for being cool about Rob and the whole freebie list thing. Oh, and the coupons I used to attempt to morph you into a Rob clone.

Get ready.. after the jump we have our first gay unicorn- YES! Best.Day.Ever

When I first found out this anonymous gay unicorn was a fan, I, of course, wanted to know who his fav Cullen was. He told me, “My favorite TwiGuy is definitely Kellan Lutz–I’m a total ho for the frat boy type.”

Dear Kellan,

What is it about you that reminds me of a cooler older brother, the
one that you wrestle with in the living room and that takes you
camping sometimes, and teaches you how to pick up your first chick?

kellan-lutz-lostIs it those wholesome all-American good looks from growing up in North
Dakota?  Or is just because you look like you’d be fun to hang out
with and chill–watchin’ Lost on DVD, playing some video games….

a
kellan-lutz-street-fighter

What’d you think of the new version of Street Fighter? (I have it on
Playstation, wanna play sometime?)

Speaking of electronics, I gotta check out your watch collection sometime, I bet it’s pretty sick–was that a cell phone or
LED TV watch you had on, I couldn’t tell?  You’re always wearing a
different cool one.

kellan-watch-montage1

I heard you went snowboarding a few weekends back–what’d you hit?
Whistler?  Amazing slopes up there near vancouver if you haven’t been
yet.

kellan-lutz-flauntOf course, I never had a big brother, so I’m not sure what one is
really supposed to be like–but maybe it’s a good thing– after
looking at you flaunt your mantertainment bits, I wouldn’t want to
think of you as a brother .

I think it’d be fun to hang out sometime though!  Street Fighter IV,
whatever. I got the other systems too if you wanna play something
else–Mario Kart? Halo?  Your choice man!

Nothing weird or homo–just two dudes, some six packs, and a couple of
Wii controllers.

I just know Kellan would love to give you one of his famous Kellan-bear hugs!

About these ads

80 Responses

  1. Oh Amber, I’ve already told you but – your husband can totes be my new BFF. He = win. ;)

    “mantertainment bits” lmfao Awesome. I want to meet Kellan more than Rob… is that weird?

    • I just think it would be easier meeting Kellan than Rob. Kellan is totally less shy and (I think) would be more willing to have some crazy conversation with you – which, let’s admit, is what any conversation with a celebrity from me would turn into…

    • Can my husband hang out with your husband? I mean mine is quite understanding and even plays along when I put up pictures of Edward/Rob in my living room next to the rest of the family, and displays my Sweethearts in the livingroom for people to look but not touch (insert hand slap here). But he would only let me show him my favorite parts of the movie – well I actually made him watch my favorite parts of the movie – the ones I thought he would like too, and he will let me read the books over and over and not say anything (not like my 14 year old daughter who thinks my obsession is craziness – even with her 6ft cutout of Edward she won at Hot Topic). He even thought it was cool that I could download the audiobooks and had no problem w/ me listening to that instead of him. However he will NOT read the books!!!! Maybe I secretly dont want him to… I dont know. But your husband seems like a pretty cool guy to do that – AND discuss it with you… nice work!

  2. wow…just when I think I need to “check” my obsession I read something and I think…S’all good Brummie. I never noticed the watches…and I have a bit of a “watch thing” lol….and aside from the one that looks like a calculator they all are “pretty sick”.

    Not my fault I have been to distracted by all the Robstacles to notice Kellans fine wrist assortment..

  3. Yeah!! Of course, all the Twitter gals knew about this break through (I mean, how could JBell possibly miss ANYTHING Twilight related)!

    Speaking of Mario Kart reminds me of naked Mario Kart and @fakerpattz…

    • …and my fake threesome with him and @faketomstu

      score.

    • Mario Cart with Faker Pattz. Oh I missed something…

  4. This is too cute…two unicorns in one day…it doesn’t get better than this! :)

  5. Ah, Amber, lucky girl. My dh would never do anything like that. *jellus*

  6. Amber knows already how I feel about her hubs! Wish mine would come around!

    Loving the gay unicorn! Thinking maybe he was my little bro! lol
    But I think he’s liking RPattz! lol

  7. Gay Unicorn wins–’cause he mentioned Lost, Twilight, and Kellan Lutz, all in one letter. BRILLIANT!

  8. @Amber- #3 on the man crush list? Who’s at 1 and 2??? My hubs read all three mostly because he wanted to be able to talk to me and since I was in a walking Twi-coma for about a month…

    I hosted a Twilight viewing party for my gay frenz last weekend, and Kellen is BY FAR their favorite. That’s fine; more Rob for us girls.

    • I want to know the answer to this one, too!

      • yes, we’re all waiting for the answer :)

  9. Amber – the hubby is great! Btw – he is probably now part of summit’s files on Rob as per eonline yesterday, they monitor the news and web and all things rob get filed away. Hmm maybe you shouldn’t tell him that. Does the hub have a single brother? – sounds like a great catch!

    Hi Gay unicorn – welcome to the fam. If kellan doesn’t get back to you on mario kart, I’ll play – I love that game!

  10. Amber, you are one lucky woman! I’m so jealous!
    How did you do it? Did you offer mucho sexy times?

  11. Yay, for unicorns! I converted my brother to the movie AND books (he’s 23 and in the army) Score!

    And I love Mario Kart, too! We just got it here at the house, and I’ve yet to actually play, but it looks super fun!

  12. @RhoJo – His 31 is def Johnny Depp. #2, actually, I’m not sure who #2 is. Maybe it really is Rob but he didn’t want to tell me. :)

    @AmourPSU – Well, if they are keeping track, his file will be so thin compared to mine. And I’m sure JBell has her own drawer! Oh, and now single bros. Sorry.

    @therealrobzilla – Being annoying helped. Sexy times work well also! ;)

  13. 31 = #1

    Sorry!

  14. Wow. I hope to meet a real unicorn someday, and since it is unlikely to be Mr LPB, I hope it’s a gay unicorn! And I have to say that the calculator watch is SO nerdy, I adore it.

    Although Mr LPB did watch the dvd when I brought it home and didn’t hate it, although according to him, it did nothing to clear up why I keep watching it over and over, because according to him, Rob is ‘so gay’. Whut?

  15. Maybe I could say “although” a few MORE times. Need. More. Coffee. (and editing)

  16. I love this story so much!! It has inspired me to share about my hubb. Writing a letter …NOW!!

    M

  17. Unicorns Rock. Love this letter combo.

    Because I am incapable of feeling any other emotion lately, I am crazy jealous of you, Amber and your unicorn hubby. Congrats!

    Also, crazy jealous of Kellan’s watch collection, just cuz.

  18. i love the letter!!!!
    im so happy that i still have a chance to find a guy who likes twilight!!!

  19. Woo-hoo! Thanks for publishing my letter gals! I think we can all agree on one thing, gay or straight–a Kellan bear hug is defintely a good thing. ;-)

    • haha.. love your screen name, gay unicorn

    • grrrr!!!

    • I’m glad we could share a blog post together.

      And a Kellen bear hug… no, I wouldn’t turn that down!!

  20. I’ve been trying to get my hubs to read Twilight for months now. He read The Host and enjoyed it. Watched the movie and thought it was “not too bad.” Then he even watched it with me again with the commentary! (I was shocked!)

    Any tips on how I can convince him to give the books a try?

    • My hubb doesn’t like to read. I’m reading them to him. He actually agreed to that after a 5 minute begging session and reading him “the meadow” chapter. We’re about 6 chapters into New Moon. I’ve been preoccupied and haven’t read to him in about a week and last night while sitting on the couch he turns to me, “so, when are you going to read some New Moon to me?” I about fell over that he actually ASKED for me to read it to him!!! He is my Edward.

      M

      • @myria101 Do you do voices when you read it? At the bella parts do you stutter, blink, bite your lip and breath heavy? How does your scowl sound? Heehee – no seriously very cute and sweet!

        A friend gave me the audio version of the books, I can drop box them later to you if you like (I actually haven’t listened because I don’t like the woman’s voice).

        • I totally do!!! Like in New Moon when Edward is talking sternly to Bella when she’s walking toward the guys at the bar…I love getting into character for him!! And I smile when they say things with a smile, etc…so that it will have that emotion in it. I do what I can to get it across the way that I read it in my head so that he’ll feel what I feel. That might sound so cheesy and lamespice, but I want him to love it just as much as I do.

          I’ve listened to parts of the audio version and I don’t like her voice either! And she doesn’t read things the way that I do. But, I’ll take them if you have them just to hear all of them.

          • How funny! With my elementary ed. background, there’s no way I’d be able to read them out loud without using different voices for the characters. Ha!

            My hubs reads quite a bit. After each book he finishes, I ask him what he’s going to read next, but I don’t even get to suggest Twilight. His standard reponse has become… “(eyeroll) Not Twilight.” sigh… One of these days he’ll come around. I was able to get him to read the Harry Potter series, so I think there’s hope.

            And actually, I think he’d like Midnight Sun a lot since it’s from a guy’s perspective. (Plus, Edward is a much more interesting character, imho.) Now if we can just get Stephenie Meyer to finish that one! It’d be a great “gateway drug” for guys to get in on the Twilight phenomenon. :)

    • All I know is, the less I make a big deal out of it, the more he reads. So, when I first made a big deal, he stopped reading. Then, when I let it go, he started again.

      In fact, I noticed the book was in his car the other day. He is reading at work, which is hilarious cause I know all the guys HAVE to be giving him hell!!

  21. This is hilarious. I hope to find a unicorn of my very own someday :)

    • you will. i know it

  22. Unicorns are good!

    @Amber I did find a copy of New Moon on my hubs night stand the other day. May have to do a casual walk by quiz to see what he knows!

    @myria101 Can’t wait to hear your unicorn story. Yay, score one more for team unicorn.

    Gay Unicorn? Priceless!

    • Oh, he is totally reading. I found out mine was reading when he made a comment about the book that he could have NEVER got from the film.

  23. I need a “How to Turn your Husband into a Unicorn” manual or “Unicorns for Dummies” cause I’m so over the eye-rolling!!

    • Ha! If you find one, can you share the ISBN so I can find it at my local library!

      Especially if it stops the eye-rolling and vacant stares. :)

  24. This post made my day, just last night I was trying to explain the concept of a Unicorn to my hubby. I got him to watch the movie once and he hated it so much that the books are a lost cause. Very jealous of Amber…sigh. He actually said “a unicorn is not a rare enough creature to read those books, you should call them Jabberwocky’s” – I had to look that up on wikipedia to even know what he was talking about.

    Oddly enough later he asked to me to explain why I don’t like Rosalie so perhaps it’s just a show and he’s secretly interested.

    Random side note that I had to share since I’m here – I’ve been making, I mean encouraging my co-workers to read Twilight and I’ve gotten 4 on board so far. The most recent addition just started reading Twilight this week and today she came over to my desk and said “Did Edward’s parents know he was a vampire when they adopted him?” After I stopped laughing I said I’m not giving anything away here but the parents and sibilings are vampires too – please go read past page 10 of the book.

    • hahaha… i love that your friend asked that!

    • My hubby hates the term unicorn. Says he wants to be a cooler mythical creature, like a centaur or a minotaur.

      I told him to just embrace it!!

      • He has not read WA? Unicorns are a good thing…

        Also, with all respect, tell him he’s totally hot holding that book. :)

        • I just read today the thing in WA about unicorns. So, I’m dying laughing about the whole thing now!

          And I’m sure he will love the hot comment. It’ll go all to his head!!

          • Oh yeah. I laughed my ass off about that too!

      • your hubby is picky.. nope sorry amber’s hubby. UNICORN

      • Really? Even with the great horn reference thrown in?

      • I think Centaur or Minotaur might be better… Unicorns are girly. And code for orgasms. I get all giggley when I hear the term now. Although I suppose I giggle internally when I think of twiguys too hehe

      • REPRESENT.

        Amber – That’s awesome! Give your husband props for me!

        Also, I saw today’s post and HAD to text a couple of my friends and tell them about how our first gay unicorn had been found, lol.

        And Kellan, dude – the calculator watch? BALLIN’.

  25. my husband attempted to read Twilight so he could understand what my daughter and i were so in love with. His response? “Twelve paragraphs, Janet! Twelve paragraphs!” What? I couldn’t understand him. “Twelve paragraphs describing how unbelievably beautiful the Cullens are! Did they really need 12 paragraphs?” My response was simple…12 was harldly enough. He still hasn’t been able to finish reading the book. He keeps trying. Eventually he’ll finish it. He’s watched the movie and the commentary. That counts for something.

  26. Hahaha thats sooo cute! Kids are so amazing with the stuff they notice- and don’t- and how they see the world

    My er… “Friend”.. offered to visit Forks for me when he was in Seattle on a business trip last week. It totally threw me off because until he offered, I hadn’t known he even knew anything about Twilight. He said his ex talked him into reading Twilight a while ago but he didn’t think much of it so he didn’t read past the first one.

    I tried to talk him into going to Vancouver to kidnap Rob for me (on the pretense of having a threesome…) but he didn’t go for it. I even told him he could grab Kristen and we’d have a foursome…. because at least I’d get to play with Rob, and she’d be so freaked she wouldn’t do anything. Wow. Did I just admit that I actually even THOUGHT that?! Robert, you are corrupting my mind. And no, I’m not into that. I would probably smack HIM if he suggested it. I just knew there was a 99.9% chance it wouldn’t happen so, what the hell right?

    • My son outs me all the time. He’ll be like, “Hey mommy. You like Team Edward” in the middle of Target. I’m like “Sssssshhhhhhhh…” and I shuffle quickly out the store as I do not want to explain about much of a player on Team Edward I am!!

  27. “mantertainment bits”
    My fave. I’m totally using that!

  28. Oh- and over the holidays, my now ex and I went and saw Twilight like 4 times. He never fought me on it and actually liked it. It was funny because he was trying to get me to make out at the parts I liked- IE, the romantic, robert being swoonworthy parts- whereas I would go to kiss him or say we could leave during the ballet studio scene…and he was like ‘shhh i like this part’. Even funnier because he just went pro with his boxing. I wonder what his competitors would think of that…

  29. I’m going to think about writing a Creating A Unicorn Primer. I don’t know that I’ve been a success, but I suspect that OMB has been reading Twilight on the sly. He no longer rolls his eyes. He is occasionally the one to bring up the subject. He seems to have a man crush on Rob, or as he calls him, “The Forehead.” AND he recently pointed out that the guy behind the counter at the theater’s name was Jasper H. He was specific about the H. He didn’t pick that up from the movie.

  30. Ok, I just have to say something now. My sister sent me the link to this blog, and after reading all the comments I’m more confused than before about how rare unicorns are.
    My sis, Marta (see above post) was in a twicoma for a few weeks before she recommended I see the movie. So I bought it, and watched it, and I was a unicorn about 20 minutes into it. The next day I bought the box set of books online and read them all in just over a week. That was two weeks ago. I still read the books/watch a scene of the movie/listen to the soundtrack at least once a day to get my twifix.
    I’m proud of being a unicorn. And no, I’m not gay or anything. I’m in a construction platoon in the Army, play sports, and am very securely heterosexual. So I’m pretty sure I’m not a unicorn for any lack of masculinity.
    The other night my sis and I were comparing the books, and I summarized for her what it is that really draws me to the story: the powerful, “unconditional and irrevocable” love between Edward and Bella. Now, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with a guy appreciating intimacy or love in a story. In fact, I think real romance necessitates a balance between masculine and feminine.
    So what confuses me is all these husbands who are so anti-twilight right off the bat. If a guy can fall in love with someone, stand up on an altar and say ‘I do’, then why can’t he appreciate a good story about the same thing he has experienced, especially if it includes vampires and werewolves and fight scenes where limbs are torn off and all that fun stuff.
    I just don’t understand what makes the twi-world so female dominated. Maybe, since my sister is the only one I talk to about it, I’m cut off from the rest of the fandom and out of the loop. But maybe someone here can explain what apparently drives so many guys away from these books, because I was drawn into it so quickly that I just can’t see what ISN’T appealing about it.

    • FINALLY it got posted. Nicely said, little bro. Welcome to the crazy! WoOt!

    • Dear ArmyUnicorn,
      Will you marry me? Can’t recall if your sister said you were spoken for and you’re probably much younger than me, but I am in love – or maybe just crushing hard-time. Talk to me more about the powerful,unconditional and irrevocable’ love. *sigh*

      **blushing**
      Amour

      • Haha, he is NOT spoken for. He’s 23 turning 24 this July.

        Look at me, pimping out the little bro, hahahaha. :-P

        • that’s fine. pimp your brother out. i was telling my friend about this amazing post. she’s turning 20 on Friday and wants an army guy. so, when will he be back in the states? will he be somewhere warm when he gets back? her only requirement is that her man travels (so he won’t be around all the time to bug her) and that he lives by the water. And of course, he has to understand her undying love of all things twilight.

          • hi janet. lol, I’m stationed at fort bragg, i suppose that’s warm, and somewhat close to water. and clearly i’m twi-crazy. i’m going to iraq from june ’09 to june ’10. it’s nice to know i have a wife lined up. you know, if we marry before i deploy, i’ll get a whole lot more money.

          • lol! fort bragg is warm. and she does want to move to either california or the carolinas. so you filled that requirement without even knowing it! my nephew is at fort reilly and is shipping out in July also. Maybe the money thing is the reason he’s marrying his girlfriend of only 3 months in june. Stay safe out there and i’ll see what i can do about my friend. i’m sure she’s up to getting married asap:)

  31. Ah, we Ambers must marry smartly…lol. Hubby just finished Breaking Dawn last month. He went to see the movie with me and really liked it, but still wasn’t convinced to read the books. He is seriously not a reader. What did it for him was that every single time we’d discuss Twilight and he’d ask a question, my answer would begin with, “Well, in the book…” He finally gave in and agreed he just needed to read the books.
    He’s reading The Host now. He totally indulges me with Twilight merchandise and even stopped on his way home from work to pick up the Rob GQ for me when he knew I hadn’t been able to find it anywhere. Definitely a keeper! (He also does all the Mini Edward photography for my site…lol)
    Oh Amber, I loved that your son kept taking it away and saying it was Mommy’s book. That would totally happen at my house! I am the sole female, but I’m raising four little unicorns. The three oldest ones can already identify Edward, Bella and pretty much anything Twilight related wherever they see it.

    • Okay, I think that is the EXACT reason my hubby is reading. You just don’t realize how much the movie leaves out until you watch it with a Twilight newbie.

      I can’t get him to take my PE photos, but who knows, maybe in the near future!! *fingers crossed*

  32. Thank you, Gay Unicorn, for sharing. I was moved. My gay best friend has refused to watch Twilight with me (though he has read the book! My own little unicorn!), saying that Rob “just doesn’t do anything” for him. I know, right? How is such a thing possible? I forgot that there’s a Cullen for every taste! You may just have solved my dilemma…

    • It was my pleasure! I definitely go for the beefy/cubby type guys–I appreciate Robert Pattinson’s appeal but he’s not my type, so I can certainly relate to your friend!

      • I am starting to figure this out! Yes, I’m slow. My gay best friend is not interested in Twilight at all, either, and although we enjoyed the GQ photos together, he said the EXACT same thing: I see his appeal but he doesn’t do it for me….I need to show him some Kellen pics. Great idea Gay Unicorn!

      • Also, “mantertainment bits” = sheer genuis! :)

  33. Ok, I don’t have much time, but I just found this site like yesterday from twitter. You guys are hilarious. I’m going to be coming back here to read more when I have time. But, I wanted to comment about UC’s husband….I have been trying to get mine to do the same thing…read the book. The funny thing is that we went to the movie and he liked it…but he bought the books and I didn’t know anything about it other than the movie was good and it was based on a book. So, when he brought Twilight home I thought, well I’ll read it…I liked the movie…and well the rest is history…I’m completely obsessed and yes I too am a married woman not old enough to be Rob’s mom but definitely older sister….but who the heck cares…that boy is one hot man and he makes me laugh whenever I see an interview. So, I started to read Twilight to my husband basically because I made him sit there and listen…LOL. But, we haven’t gotten very far…I’m dying for him to talk to me about it every day…LOL. But, right now I just get the eye rolls and snickers when I mention Rob or Twilight…which well is definitely every day. So, thank god I’m not freaking alone here. It’s so weird…and yet so fun. So, thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more and laughing….or swooning.

  34. OMFG- I just stumbled upon this article and died: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2218579/posts

    Teen Bites Students – Dad Blames “Twilight”

    Did a Middle School student take “Twilight” too seriously?

    His dad thinks so.

    This after a 13-year-old boy gets in trouble for allegedly biting 11 students.

    It sounds crazy – but that’s the story out of Des Moines.

  35. He sounds just like my hubby but without the “reading the book” part. I have been trying to get my loving sweet Twi-Tolerent husband to read the books too….but not yet!!!

    You have an awesome man!!!

    • Thank you! He is awesome (most days)!

  36. [...] high school jock. Just the other day I read a Letter to Twilight where he was described as the perfect big bro by a gay unicorn. (process that for a second). What do you thinkwill you go see this movie to see Kellan Lutz [...]

  37. [...] Posted on April 24, 2009 by Amber My hubby of all people found this video. Of course, he is a unicorn, so it doesn’t surprise me that he searching for Twilight vids. Anyways, it is a little [...]

  38. [...] Songs Spoofs!! Posted on May 3, 2009 by Amber Another find by my dear hubby, the unicorn! These videos are song spoofs of Twilight, and they are pretty hilarious! These are both from [...]

  39. [...] So, as you know now cause you all are AVID readers of my blog, my hubby has since jumped on the unicorn train and is riding it all the way through Breaking Dawn (or so I hope). Now that we share the [...]

  40. [...] Rob was not involved in any other kiss, so the others never stood a chance. This is the kiss that made my husband a unicorn. True [...]

  41. Can your husband talk to my husband about the good points of my Robsession? Please. I doubt it will really matter, but, hey it’s worth a try.

    And who is #1 and #2 on his man-crush list? I’m just curious… And slightly shocked that he has a list in the first place.

  42. [...] some guy’s insight to Twilight. As you all know, he has been reading the series and was a featured unicorn on Letters to Twilight. And, wow, he really has some great thoughts. But hey, you aren’t here to hear me talk, so [...]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 158 other followers

%d bloggers like this: