You all remember Mutemathlover right? Well he’s back again. When he told me last week he was going to watch Twilight the movie over the weekend I told him he definitely had to tell me his thoughts after he’d seen it. So when I got to work Monday he was the first person to IM me with news about Twilight and I couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say cause you know when a guy talks about Twilight it’s gonna be good!
The things guys think about in relation to Twilight are stuff I’d never even begin to ponder… like how Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie felt when Bella showed up at the prom with Edward after she lied to them and said she was gonna be in Jacksonville. No lie, he thought about it… read on…
Or how a certain body part of Edward’s must be spring loaded… trust me read on…
I think secretly… deep down guys like talking about Twilight… Ok, ok maybe not, but I think they get a kick out of it occasionally…. especially when they know we’re gonna talk about them!
So read on dear Unicorns and gals who tolerate love them,
Mutemathlover watched Twilight
mutemathlover: K, just watched twilight. here it goes:
mutemathlover: all in all, it was an entertaining movie
mutemathlover: ill tell u what i didnt like: the plot grew wayyyyyyy too fast
mutemathlover: it made it unbelieveable
mutemathlover: the gaysian was dumb
mutemathlover: the baseball part was just plain retarded
themoonisdown: HAHAHAHAHA gaysian. funny though lots of people like that vampire baseball thing
themoonisdown: and yes all your points are pretty much mine and most people who see it.
themoonisdown: it drags at the beginning and then it’s like WOAH! too much
mutemathlover: the one good vampire with short hair was poorly written
mutemathlover: u could never quite figure out if she had other motives
themoonisdown: alice? short hair future seeing one?
themoonisdown: it’s like with all things, if you read the book you’d know that she “knows” a lot of stuff about bella, she knows theyre going to be friends so shes already acting that way and unfortunately the viewers doesnt always know that
themoonisdown: big assumption huh!
mutemathlover: cause that didnt make sense
On the nomadic vampires…
more mutemathlover insights after the cut…
mutemathlover: another thing, the “other vampires”
themoonisdown:the “bad” ones? the nomadic?
mutemathlover: apparently, the bad vampires have roller shoes
themoonisdown: they just walk super fast… it’s a vampire characteristic!
mutemathlover: then how come the good ones dont?
themoonisdown: they do, they just dont use their super speed in real life. because then people would know somethings up! like they cant be speed walking at HIGH SCHOOL
mutemathlover: cause they where running around the bases normally
themoonisdown: really? it’s supposed to look like theyre zooming around
mutemathlover: ahhhhhhhhh, no
themoonisdown: and when he runs in to catch the fly ball
mutemathlover: yea, fast then
mutemathlover: but they ran around at normal speed. reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetarded
themoonisdown: i think that was supposed to be pretty stylized looking
Her Parents, Forks HS doesn’t protect it’s students privacy…
mutemathlover: another thing
mutemathlover: the video of her with her mom? where did he get that?
themoonisdown: from her house
themoonisdown: he said i was at your house i borrowed it whatever hope you dont mind. cause they dont show bella going to her house first in the movie but she does in the book
mutemathlover: where was her dad
themoonisdown: her dad the cop? back in forks, she was in phx. she ran away
mutemathlover: how did he know her cell phone number
themoonisdown: victoria got the records at school and also when james is in the house he hears her message
mutemathlover: well, the movie sounds like it leaves out a lot!
mutemathlover: and edward was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy creepier in the beginning
themoonisdown: yes cause he wanted to kill her. thats all he wants to do it kill her because her blood is so attractive to him. then he gets to know her… realizes he doesnt want to kill her because he couldnt imagine not having her around blah blah
mutemathlover: uhaaaaaaaa. ok
mutemathlover: i love you blood holder
themoonisdown: hahahah exactly!
themoonisdown: but then he loves her so ya know
mutemathlover: thats like falling in love with a cheesesteak
themoonisdown: never was a truer love, than the love of a grilled meat sammy
On the acting… Bella and Alice
themoonisdown: whatd you think of the acting?
mutemathlover: standard teen movie acting
mutemathlover: bella was pretty decent. sorta
themoonisdown: she bugged the heck out of me for most of it all her stuttering and blinking
mutemathlover: i just think shes hot
themoonisdown: HAHA… really?
mutemathlover: yea we went over this
themoonisdown:most guys are usually down for alice
mutemathlover: shes pretty too
themoonisdown: hot without that dumb wig
mutemathlover: thats a wig?
themoonisdown: yes: http://www.twilightgear.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ashley-greene-maxim.jpg
mutemathlover: i think it was to make her look younger
themoonisdown: for sure and the character is described as having short hair
On the ending…
themoonisdown:what did you think of the end?
mutemathlover: meet joe black… hahha
mutemathlover: umm another thing… the flip-floping
themoonisdown: AND ANOTHER THING
mutemathlover: of the main dude
mutemathlover: yea what the f
themoonisdown: its cause he wants to KILL her
mutemathlover: dint not provoked
themoonisdown: and he’s fighting it internally
mutemathlover: ok, well fuck
themoonisdown: HAHAHA all this subtext thats hard to get through, and he’s just like a super worry wart
mutemathlover: the movie does not explain that until like the damn end
mutemathlover: and even at the end he wants her to leave, then 20 seconds later after she flips out “i was just kidding about all that other stuff” that was confusing
themoonisdown: yea cause he thinks all the bad stuff that happens to her is because of him
and he’s just like a super worry wart hes like “ok, well illl always be right here” cause she cant imagine NOT being with him
On The Prom…
mutemathlover: then he takes limpy to the prom after she tells everyone shes leaving that weekend
mutemathlover: AND NO ONE QUESTIONS IT even when the 2 dudes wanted to take her
themoonisdown: hahahaha its funny the stuff guys think about, like i didnt even worry about that
themoonisdown: and youre like but what about THE OTHER DUDES
mutemathlover: WELL, APPARENTLY EVERYONE WHO ISNT A VAMPIRE IN THAT TOWN IS RETARDED
On Forks High School and detention…
mutemathlover: yea see and there are no jocks
themoonisdown: i NEVER thought about that. so true
mutemathlover: just artsy dudes and retards
mutemathlover: come on some huge jock dude would make fun of at least one of the vampires and they would totally rip their head off and blammo, in school suspension
mutemathlover: sun or no sun
themoonisdown: hahaha thatll teach them!
mutemathlover: and all the sudden, diamond face McPalerson is fucked
themoonisdown: omg quoted… you’re so being featured by the way
On the bedroom scene…
mutemathlover: PS, did he have like a vampire strength erection that shot him off the bed???
mutemathlover: im thinking thats what it was “sorry, i gotta a little out of control and crushed your Cervex”
mutemathlover: “i’m gonna go fix your truck now”
themoonisdown: thats amazing
And ONE MORE THING… Charlie
mutemathlover: OH OH OH the fucking dad has to know
mutemathlover: his friend “Chief feels no legs”, even hinted that what was out there and the dad totally knows.
THE END! (until next time)
Big round of applause to Mutemathlover for being such a good sport and entertaining us all… give him some love over on HIS blog.
Filed under: Stuff my guy says about Twilight, Twilight, Unicorns Tagged: | Alice, baseball, Bella, billy, DVD, forks, guys, high school, jocks, McPalerson, men, Robert Pattinson, Stuff my guy says about Twilight, twiguy, Twilight, Unicorns, vampire baseball