Twi-Dirt: The interactive Sleepy Saturday Edition

Dear Twilight Fans around the globe,

On this sleepy Saturday (it is currently Friday as I’m writing this, but I’m anticipating a sleepy Saturday) we bring you another round of Twi-dirt- our semi-occasionally-not very often word vomit of Twilight-related news. Today we thought we’d spice it up & instead of our usual hilarious sentence with a link to the news we are going to be more interactive. (We don’t feel there is enough interaction on our two sites- the 800-1,000 daily comments on LTR posts aren’t enough for us) All of today’s dirt can be found (with one teeny exception) within today’s post. This will ensure you don’t have to leave our site, ever.  What else is there to do on a sleepy Saturday anyway?

Enjoy! Happy Sleepy Satuday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

  • “Twilight’s kinda a big deal” and this parody BLEW OUR MINDS!
    a
  • This one is not for children because it’s too hilarious and children shouldn’t be surrounded by hilarious things:
    a

The mindblowing continues after the cut…

  • Do you know that Rob Pattinson was once a Chippendale’s dancer?

Yes, our very own Vogue18 made this. Bow in her honor

  • Is this really Stephenie Meyer? When did she get this hot? steph-hot

Source

  • Wait, Twiley Cyrus?
    a

This is an old gem from the Twi archives (Yes, November IS archives!)

  • I’d say this is a pretty accurate depiction of New Moon, wouldn’t you?
    newmoonsynopsisa
    a
  • Yeah, they got Breaking Dawn right! (way too long to post here, but here’s a teaser)

    "...but of course Fido has to go cause a big scene when he finds out I'm gonna tap that while she is still human even though SHES BEEN BEGGING TO DO HER FOR MONTHS and I mean, How much restraint is man supposed to have? I swear if I don't get some soon I'll choke a bitch..."

    "...but of course Fido has to go cause a big scene when he finds out I'm gonna tap that while she is still human even though SHES BEEN BEGGING TO DO HER FOR MONTHS and I mean, How much restraint is man supposed to have? I swear if I don't get some soon I'll choke a bitch..."

  • Enjoy this creeptastic photo of Michael Welch? Well, you’ll love even more that he’s supporting a drive in April to donate one mammogram per day to a woman who cannot afford it. Hop on over to TouchedByTwilight to find out more details! Thanks Britt! michaelwelchbreastcancer

Thanks to our amazing tipsters: Pillow Biters, ’86 Rabbit, Vogue18 and Kat from RobPattinsonLovesMe!

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16 Responses

  1. The Breaking Dawn one is one of the funniest damn things I’ve ever seen! His expressions are perfect – I can’t stop laughing.

    • glad you love it mel!

  2. LMAO – that mike welch pic is making me cry…

  3. That Chippendales video is the best. thing. ever.

    Seriously, I’m addicted to its awesomeness :P

  4. Help Michael Welch fight breast cancer.

    Do we love that he loves breasts? We do, of course.

    And you know that BD review is the funniest thing ever…’cause he’s not a virgin anymore.

    • funniest ever. that’s my fav ‘slide’ too, but didn’t want to ruin the fun by posting it

  5. Ahhhh, lollerskates at the New Mood comic strip breakdown!

    I just made my hubby read it [who is not a fan].

    Me: Hey, come here so you can know what’s going to happen in New Moon, the new Twilight movie.
    Him: *blink* … *blink*
    Me: I promise its funny.
    Him: ok *walks over*
    Me: *giggling the whole time at Werewolves Nobody Cares…Goddamn*
    Him: *chuckle* “we’re going sparkling”

    Then [after he sat back down at his chomputer] in my gush of hilarious Twilight related news, I read him the Breaking Dawn caption, but preface it with “You’re not gonna understand any of this, but its funny”…he laughs at the last part, and I say “You didn’t get any of that did you?”

    Him: I get that he wants some. [typical guy response]
    Me: You don’t KNOW anything. *giggling at yet another Twilight reference*

    He still thinks I’m on drugs this morning…I don’t usually share my twilove with him >.<

    • I totally KNOW that feeling. I’ve had it so often, and other people are always just like: “yeah? so? ehm … yeees, very interesting. Will you leave me in peace now, crazy person?”

  6. LMAO!!!! I love that first vidoe….kinda a big deal….LOL!

    If it wasn’t Sat and it wasn’t so early I would make my hubs get up and read these. For some reason he likes anything that makes Edward look like a douche :)

    • then get him on LTT!

  7. Oh, ladies, thanks for the laughs. I was trying to watch quietly, so as not to arouse suspicion from the other household entities, but of course my 9 yo daughter wants to know why I am laughing so hard I am crying at the computer (AGAIN, thanks to you), but since children can’t be exposed to hilarious things, I didn’t let her watch. Plus I haven’t let her experience the awesomeness which is Twilight, yet, (because I am super mean), and she wouldn’t get it anyway.

    That recap of Breaking Dawn was completely hilarious….. Now I can get on with my stupid housework today, and giggle every time I think about “I’m going to choke a bitch.” hee hee.

    WEREWOLVES, NO ONE CARES GODDAMN. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    Fake lesbo kisses to all. Happy Saturday!

  8. tooo much hilarity for one post! peed my pants!

    “I’m kind of a big deal” “i would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party” hahahaha poor mike.

    loved the “break down” of Breaking Dawn!
    “…so I totally freak out because there is no god damn way I’m spending eternity looking after a kid so I’m thinking its time for a mutant baby smushsmortion but Bella is all attached and shit…” messed up! but funny!!

    love the new moon comic! “here’s your bike, you’re a douche!” lolz

    …twilight sex scene….sounds like a convo with the hubster. lol

  9. OMG-I absolutely love the first vid, what is that? Vampireman:The Legend of Ed Cullen?! I read Breaking Down BD at an 8 year old’s bday party on Sat. I had all of the other non-Twilight loving mothers glaring at me wondering why they invited the psychotic mom’s kid to their otherwise sophisticated affair-because they are too immature to enjoy such hilarity. I always wonder how I can miss all of these things; thank goodness I can rely on you to fill in the gaps!

  10. Hilarity!!! They so got Breaking Dawn right. Luvs.

    BTW, I totally converted 2 of my peeps this weekend. Friend Kristen was like, “what have you done to me?! I luvs Edward.” And I’m like, “I told you! You MUST read the books now.” Then the little BRO texted me to say he already bought the movie and watched 2 1/2 times in 1 night. I am the Master Manipulator! Haha.

  11. OMG!!! “mutant baby smushsmortion” Too many LOLz to count!

  12. Is it just me or did Mike’s voice in the first parody sound just like Steve Carrell from the Office? Am I going crazy here, or was it him? ;p

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