Kristen and Dakota on Leno? This is war!

Someone is NOT with Coco!

Dear Dakota and Kristen,

I heard the news that you will be on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show to promote your movie, The Runaways. And I gotta say I’m a bit hurt. I mean JAY LENO?! This is a traitorous move to the legions of Team Coco fans around the world who love the red-coiffed one and feel he was unjustly forced to leave the Tonight Show by the evil doers at NBC because of what a crap fest the Jay Leno Show was.

Don’t be surprised when Jay whips out some zingers like “This movie has BITE,” or “Watch out Dakota and Kristen will RUN AWAY with your hearts on this one folks,” or I’m hoping against hope he makes your girls participate in “Jay Walking All Stars.” That will teach you girls to turn your back on Conando.

Traitors

How can you do it girls?! And especially you Kristen! You touched Conan’s HAIR when you were on his show promoting New Moon! You’ve touch God, essentially and then to sully yourself by going over to sit on Leno’s couch is unthinkable. Such treason is not looked upon lightly by the Team Coco nation. “We’re with Coco” after all and if you’re not with us, you’re against us.
I’m off to wonder why Conan didn’t chose to follow me on his hilarious Twitter. Such is life.
Themoonisdown

PS Now let’s get to what we’re here for… screaming over the TEN SECOND (wtf?) TEASER TRAILER (another WTF?!) for Eclipse which I’m sure we’ll post here once it goes up.

How much of a Conan O’Brien nerd am I? Also please don’t make me link to the “How to tell if this is sarcasm” link. Seriously!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

UPDATE: THIS bad boy was just sent to us…

Caption This: KStew at the Oscars

Dear Kristen,

You looked amaazzzing at the Oscars. Like seriously girl- I am coveting your dress. I knew you had girlie in you. I knew you had a hairstylist on speed dial. I knew you could glam it up for one night and chit chat with Hollywood elite and pretend to like it. It was the Oscars after all!

I was struck, after looking through the Oscar galleries from the red carpet & after parties, with the desire to figure out what was going on while the photos were being taken. I mean- you got a picture with Evan Lysacek gold medalist male ice skater. Was that on a dare from Taylor? Did Rob text you and request a picture for his mom?

So I declare today “After Oscars Caption Party,” and I’m gonna have fun! Thanks for letting me!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Okay Anjelica Houston is TOO MUCH FUN to only caption one picture:

After the jump, join the fun in a caption contest!!!

Twilight at the Oscars 2010

Dear Taylor, Anna and Kristen-

My hat is off to you all for turning it out at the Oscars last night. Everyone was dapper, not shiny, and in proper fitting clothes. Even though two of you presented a montage about horror movies that was completely out of place at the Oscars and also featured a clip of New Moon which is NOT a horror movie and earned a HUGE laugh from the folks I was watching with. BUUUTTT we will take what we can get in these meager times. So let’s give out some props where props are due…

The tux wasn’t shiny, it fit well, you made all the girls ohh and ahh and yell “team Jacob” so I say mission accomplished on this one. The only thing that could have made this look better was if you had brought Big Daddy as your date and we would have gotten to see Big Daddy in a little tux!

Kristen, I have to say this is the best you’ve ever looked on a red carpet. The fit was fabulous making up for the atrocity that was your Bafta’s dress. The color, mindnight blue/black is SO spot on it’s ridiculous. The hair is up and out of your face so that you can’t touch it and mess with it and make me want to rip it out for you. Your makeup is beautiful… and some lucky photog just happened to catch this little glimpse of a smile on your face. I know, I’m quite shocked myself too. Woah this is a lot of compliments in one place, I feel like their served koolaid at the party and I took a swig. Well played, KStew, well played!

Oh Anna. Every girl oo-ed and ahh-ed any time you were on the screen last night. The color of the dress, the draping, the sweet little detail at the top and well just flawless makeup and hair. And even though you didn’t win (they should have given two awards out!) you were a winner tonight in this and according to all the party goers. We just wanted to be you. All we imagined was you responding:  “I know, right?!”

From a question about Twilight to what George Clooney thinks about working with YOU… what a leap you’ve made in the last year

(sorry for the craptastic video, friggin Oscars pulled all the good clips yet don’t provide an official one. WHAT.EV.ER)
Did we all love how they played that New Moon music through out their presentation? Not the people I was with! They kept yelling, why is this music still playing? And since I was not about to out myself on THAT one since I’d already said “SHHHH I need to hear this for WORK!” I kept quiet and wondered how dorky Taylor and Kristen felt for intro-ing some rando- montage clip about horror films. And THEN to be followed up by Anna Kendrick presenting right after them and not being introduced with “Star of New Moon” before her name.

It was a grand night full of a lot of wins for Summit, you guys showing up and then of course The Hurt Locker rocking it. We couldn’t have asked for anything more… well maybe a LITTLE bit more Rob. There’s always next year!

I’d like to thank God… and UC…
Themoonisdown

So what’d you think of the fashions, who wore it best? Was Anna robbed? Are you glad Taytay wasn’t in another shiny suit? Not enough Rob?
Don’t forget your Remember Me tickets it’s THIS Friday!!!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Pictures that made my week!

Dear LTT-ers,

I was catching up on the (lack of) Twilight news and ran across a bunch of pictures that made me laugh. A lot. And of course send them to UC so she could laugh too. So I thought you would enjoy them too while you’re preparing for Taytay and KStew on the Oscars this evening! Please feel free to use this post for commenting on the Oscars as well at the forum topic for today!

This is exactly what Big Daddy looked like 20 years ago. I can finally see it!!

WHAAAA HUH??!!

Twimoms everywhere just orgasmed

You’re right ladies, it IS a Chico’s kind of day!

See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no 100 Monkeys

Oh weekends… dontcha love these pictures? Any other funny ones come out that we should be aware of? Post em in the comments and stay tuned to our Twitter for updates on the Oscars!

Love,
Moon

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Dear Midnight Sun

Dear Midnight Sun,

I haven’t thought about you in awhile. I haven’t read you in awhile. It’s all the wondering about why Eclipse is having this supposed drama and what is taking Breaking Dawn so long to have any news that’s keeping me from remembering how you were my favorite 12 chapters of anything I’ve ever read. But today I saw a pretty cool video about what you might be like and I got thinking about you again.

I think the best part about you being completed would be that we’d probably get another movie with Buttcrack Santa in it. Not to mention lots of Cullen family interaction which is my absolute favorite (next to Buttcrack Santa). Maybe we’ll find out Alice calls Jasper her “Giddy-up Cowboy” or something. Would we have a ton of intimate scenes of Rob Edward in his bedroom, alone brooding, thinking, fantasizing….? (I’m talking something sexy here. Not like that jizz in his pants thing in biology class) Will we get a HUGE blooper real of Peter Facinelli and Rob Pattinson cracking up as Carlisle is slobbering all over Edward’s neck?

All I know is I want it BAD. Another chance to hear Buttcrack Santa sing his song about a kitty? Would we get to find out more about Cora the waitress at the diner? It would basically be like Twilight- but more centered around ROB and not in that depressingly blue gray color!? UNTOUCHED BY CATHI HARDI!?

Halle-freakin-lujah

(Will we be jealous when we see Edward with another girl like Tanya?)

Can you make the movie without Stephanie even finishing the book? We know how it ends!

Here’s hoping,
UnintendedChoice

Follow the jump for an important poll!

Before we had the REAL thing

Dear 2007 & 2008,

I’ve been reminiscing. Reminiscing about a time before the drama of “Is David Slade or isn’t David Slade being replaced by a taller director?” and “Are Rob & Kristen really making love for hours on end in front of a fire on a bear skin rug or are they just banging quickly on a leopard printed one?” I was thinking back to YOUR time- when casting announcements were just being announced for the movies, a petition was being sent around to have Rob replaced in the films & Big Daddy hadn’t yet become a household name. Melissa Rosenberg hadn’t yet penned “How you likin’ da rain Arizona,” and Cathy Hardi was still hard at work coming up with a list of “terrible, awful, no good lines for Rob Pattinson to say when Kristen Stewart first climbs on his back.” Sigh… those were the good ol’ days.

Actually, I wasn’t around then but I would have been if I had known better. However, as I’ve read every page and seen every image the internet has to offer about the Twilight saga & its actors, I’ve discovered that things were different back then. Things were different before. Before the hype. Before the drama. Before there were promo photos, videos and interviews. Before anyone knew any better….. This stuff was made:

Back when Edward Cullen, the 21st century’s Romeo, was seen as a vampire with a mullet and loved a heroine who young enough to give Chris Hansen a MAJOR career booster.

Back when Pete Wentz was someone’s dream Edward Cullen

Back when a REAL Native American was expected to play Jacob

Back when Ronald McDonald fought a random Italian dude for Bella’s love

Back when no one was good enough for Rob Pattinson, so Ariel had to fill in

Was Ashlee Simpson someone’s dream Rosalie? Check it out after the jump!

The ‘ol switcheroo – Eclipse editor changes, what does it all mean?

Now playing: Editor roulette!

Dear Eclipse (is this your first letter?),

You’ve got a LOT of people up in arms… well make that Summit Entertainment has got a lot of people crazed and scared from the recent news about an editing switch on you. The Hollywood Insider (Entertainment Weekly) just reported that Art Jones, the editor for Eclipse has been replaced with Nancy Richardson the editor from Twilight. So of course this has everyone in the Twidom wondering what in the HALE is going on with you, Eclipse. What does this mean for the movie? Is it good, is it bad? Are we doomed to never see some Wolf on Vampire action?

So of course I went straight to my source for all editing information and news, MY BROTHER! As is our tradition here at LTT, he has a super special fake name which is pretty awesome. He is: Hatchet! Oh editing jokes, you are hilarious. So I went to the Hatchet cause I knew he’d level with me since he is a film editor himself, he has experience in such matters. I emailed him the post and said “give me your HONEST opinion, what does this mean?” And here is his response…

The Hatchet says*…

Well, I’d say it means the studio is not happy with the cut, so they brought in a new editor to look at the material with fresh eyes. Bad news for Eclipse?  Not always… Bringing in a new editor can really help make a movie better, but only if there’s good material in the footage they shot. However, it explains why there’s been no footage shown or even a teaser…

I’d love to know what’s actually going on behind the scenes, but I am only assuming there’s trouble in paradise.  There could be a rift between the studio and the director (aka creative differences), the film could not be testing well, or many other reasons. Remember, Summit has a ton of money on the line here both currently and in the future.  They have every right to make whatever personnel changes thy think will better the final film.  Replacing editors is somewhat common in Hollywood, but its interesting that this switch was publicized.

Bringing Slade in seemed like a move to give Eclipse a darker edge (which I’ve been told is the tone of the book).  I wonder if the studio is scared of it being too dark (aka not appealing to younger viewers) or simply wasn’t pleased with what Slade was bringing to the table any longer. If Slade was fired from the film, Art Jones, his editor, probably found himself in limbo.  Should he stay or should he go?  This is one option.

If Slade is still at the helm of Eclipse, it must have been hard for him to replace Jones, because the director-editor relationship is the most intimate of all of a films collaborations. And especially since Slade and Jones have had a good history.

Hollywood is a crazy place and the story behind this switch could be more or less dramatic than I’ve imagine.

However, I feel that if the movie was in really serious jeopardy, they’d bring a better editor than Richardson. She doesn’t exactly have an amazing list of credits and it sounds like she’s coming in because the studio feels comfortable with her (because of her work on the first film) and might just want someone to do their bidding.

Summit, if you want a real editor to come fix your film… Call Me!
Hatchet

Further proving our letter to David Slade earlier in the year when we asked where and when we were going to finally see some of his promised sneak peeks of the new film. So it looks as though some folks are’t so happy with the first cut of the movie but why is that? Could it be Slade’s darker style of film making? The studio wanting to cut a lighter version for it’s audience (you don’t need to, FYI!)? Or was it something else entirely different? We’ll never know until E!’s true Hollywood Story: The Twilight Saga comes out in like 1o years… so we came up with some fake possibilities:

Feel free to edit this hairline out, thx

• Was Bella’s wig just too unbelievable, even for a bunch of middle aged suits who probably don’t notice things like hair?

• Everyone one had their shirts on. Not enough shirtless men running around?

• Did Carlisle’s “Killers” shirt make it into the cut making him look like a crazy psycho murderer of local teen boys instead of the gentle town doctor?

• Was the tent scene a little too intense and we see Taylor copping a feel on Bella in the sleeping bag while Robert is preoccupied with the zipper on the tent door?

• Was Riley aka Xavier Samuel just too hot it was overshadowing the other dudes, whatever their names are Smaylor and Edmund?

• Everyone was breathing too regularly. Not enough gasps or lip biting to differentiate this as a Twilight film.

Yup, 2nd editor... 2 times the charm??

• Slade and Jones hadn’t picked a new color palette for Eclipse. Twilight had blue and New Moon went for earthy browns and green but Eclipse was just normal. FAIL.

So without being in the inner sanctum we’ll never know but thanks to the Hatchet we have a little better understanding that this isn’t necessarily a doom and gloom scenario. It could end up being a really good thing. Or it could end up tinted red. We’ll just have to see come June 30.

117 Days,
Themoonisdown

Give the Hatchet a big hand for lending his expert editing opinion! So what do YOU think? Does this make you nervil? Would you not go see Eclipse if it was “dark,” Do you have any speculations as to who they changed editors? SPILL!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

*Note: this is purely hypothesis and the Hatchet has ZERO connection to the films in anyway and this is speculation based purely on personal experience in the industry. Please take this as such. THX!*

Remember what Jackson Rathbone used to look like?

About a year ago, Jackson Rathbone looked REAL hot up there in The Couv.  A year later….. wellllllll, Too_Far_Gone and TxLiLi have some different thoughts on what they’re thinking now, a year later. We think you’ll relate to one of them…. we do:

Jackson,

In the approximately 416 days I have been reading LTT (yeah, I counted, I’m that girl, and it’s an APPROXIMATION thankyouverymuch)… I have never once thought about writing you a letter. But I came across some old pictures of you on Lainey, and let me tell you… I was suddenly ready to clip a Team Jacksper button to my Suspenders o’Flair.

Jeebus.

I’m sorry, what we were saying? I blacked out for a minute.

Oh yes… HOT DAMN. The jeans, the cowboy boots… Hey, I have cowboy boots too, maybe we should meet up and knock them together hang out sometime. The blazer! It’s a great look for you. And look at that swagger! You are sex on legs!

If these were the only pictures of you that I ever saw, I would have canceled my membership to the RPattz-Is-A-God-Among-Men Society in favor of a lifetime membership with Jackson-Please-Be-My-Babydaddy Association. *IF* these were the only pictures I ever saw. Unfortunately, I have seen you in the past year… and every time you’ve looked like this:

NOOOOO *sobs*

Jackson, why would you do this to me? What are you even THINKING? I’m speaking as your friend, because there is no chance I’ll be banging you while you resemble Mr. Smee from Captain Hook. I have fantasies, but none of them involve Wendy being ravaged by an overweight pirate. Seriously, even Rob looks like he showers more often than you do. People keep saying that you’re The Sex in person, but I’ve seen you TWICE this past year at 100 Monkeys shows, and I never once felt an inclination to launch myself across at you to lick your jaw from chin to ear say hello!

Jackson's fashion muse?

Please, what will it take to get back to your March 11, 2009 old self? Do I need to stage an intervention? Should I strip you of your clothes and hold you down under hot shower spray? Should I make sure to scrub every inch of your —- what?! I’m just trying to be helpful…

Jackson, I’m just saying, I know you have the potential to be the subject of my fantasies be a functioning member of society again. Can’t you help a girl out?

President of the Jackson-Please-Take-A-Shower-Then-Call-Me Coalition,

Too_Far_Gone

Lili gets real honest after the jump!

Yes Bella, you are right, “They’re NOT Bears!”

*In honor of our dear UC who loves to call me and say “They’re Not Bears!” I bring you this lovely letter from the even lovelier Bella (and Alice) from Not and Addikt*

Dear Bella,

You know, I gotta hand it to Edward: you’re a lot more observant than all of us initially gave you credit for. You immediately noticed the Cullens, you worked out all on your own that men get crabby when they’re hungry, and in the blink of an eye, you noticed those big wolves in New Moon are NOT bears. Whew, I’m glad you pointed that one out, because frankly, I was still puzzled and confused until you put me in the know. Then again, no wonder you’re such an expert, what with all the wildlife problems Forks has been having. Animal attacks, giant bears, local kids that explode into giant wolves and the likes. Anywho, it got me wondering what a movie night with you would be like. Are you one of those annoying people who figure out the plot after 5 minutes and can’t help but release my poor soul from its ignorance? Do you keep on slurping through your straw even though that coke has been emptied hours ago? Do you finish your snacks after 15 minutes and then eye mine like a PMSing vulture? Do you repeat that one semi-funny movie quote for days to come, like I do to annoy my bloggy pal Alice? Only one way to find out. Pull on your favourite pair of holey sweatpants, send Eddie hunting for a night, and browse my dvd collection for something you like. How about we make this a little marathon movie night? Allright, here we go.

Oh, so you’re into sci-fi trilogies, are you? So am I. Then again, Star Wars IS a classic.

No but they’re not wolves either. Got any other furry foresty suggestions?

Spot on again Bella, they are indeed NOT bears. We know they’re neither Ork nor Troll. So it makes total sense for you to inform us they’re also not bears, about as much sense as the fact that you are sharing a frame with a band of feisty Uruk Hais in Middle Earth.

Follow the cut to see what else is NOT a bear according to Bella

Dear Renesmee

Awww! Cute.... sorta....

Dear Reneesmee, Renesemee, Renesmee, Renesmee,

First of all, can we address the spelling of your name? Every time I have to write it I have to slow down and think for a second. Or grab my Breaking Dawn book or look at a past letter where we mentioned you. It’s annoying. And I’m still not sure “Renesmee” is even how you even spell it. I get it- Mommy wanted to be all cute and pay homage to both of your grandmom’s,  but couldn’t she have just named you “Renee” or “Esme” and given you a middle name like the other gma’s? Whatever, that’s the least of what I’d change if I had my way.

Anyway, I figured it was about time I wrote to you directly. I’ve mentioned you over the past year- usually in advice letters to Jacob where I warn him that Chris Hansen is closing in- but I want to have a heart-to-heart. You see, I never really had a problem with you. I was one in the minority. Sure, I cringed a little when I realized what it meant when mommy was eating all those eggs & getting fatter. But it wasn’t a “OMG they just made a human/vampire cross-breed that’s gonna be creepy and have an inappropriate relationship with her mommy’s ex boyfriend” kind of way. It was more a “Oh shit, really Edward & Bella? Are you stupid? Your sex life is over. Don’t you know that having a baby changes EVERYTHING? Instead of hot, sweaty nights breaking headboards and tickling each other with feathers, it’s changing poopy diapers and trying to keep that wolf at bay. Your sex life is OVER” (Okay, I really have no idea as I’m not a mother, but that’s the reason I keep telling myself I don’t want kids, so it’s all I know) I also didn’t take into consideration that Aunt Rose would sort of claim you as her own and it’s really her & Uncle Emmett’s sex life that is ruined. But anyway, discussing sex with a baby is pretty creepy, so I’m gonna stop.

If I had known about this, you would have creeped me out

You didn’t creep me out. You seemed cute and I loved how your family doted on you. You definitely changed the dynamic between your mommy & daddy, and I wasn’t exactly on board- I’m an adult with a job and bills and taxes and stuff. The reason I liked your mommy and daddy is because they were innocent kids without the worries of 401ks and global warming. (What the crap? I have NEVER worried about my 401k once) And now that you’re around… well, it seems like things might get more complicated. Instead of dirty talk it’s daycare talk. Instead of where Daddy is going to whisk Mommy off for Valentine’s day it’s “Can we trust the dog to not make a move while we’re gone.” And Daddy will stop looking at Mommy when she’s looking sexy and instead say, “Have you seen our daughter!? She looks wayyyyy too sexy. I read Jacob’s mind. Lock.Her.Up.Now.” I didn’t sign up for that. But all-in-all, I liked you!

However…. things have changed. In the past year I’ve met many of those in the majority- the closest one being Moon. I’ve heard the other side of the story. The side where people DON’T overlook the creepiness that your best friend Jacob will one day do things to you that would get us all arrested if I mention them now. I was never okay with that part of the story, I’ll admit. But I let it slide because it was one blimp in my perfect fantasy world. But as I’ve had Twilosophical conversations with friends and readers & commenters and then as I’ve discovered the world of “Renesmee Fan art,” I have to admit…. I might be switching Teams. I was on “Team Renesmee as long as I can still get hot Bella & Edward scenes” but now I’m on “Team maybe the Volturi should get Renesmee but leave everyone else alone” Oh- I don’t mean that (but I kinda do) It’s just that….. you’re creepy. A baby with special abilities? Who has a relationship with a wolf who used to love her mother? A wolf that will one day become her lover?

“What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I… (fade out)”

Yeah, mommy knows how I feel.

If it wasn't inappropriate, I'd make a doggy style joke here

So where do we go from here? How can you and I get back to the side of the minority- where I overlooked your creepiness so I could claim that, “The Twilight Saga is the best worst-written book series of all time”? I don’t know. I was going to say maybe Stephanie will write a new saga- picking up 10 years from where we left off- where you’re a full-grown adult and Jacob is allowed to have those thoughts about you like the ones he once had for your mommy. But then I realized that I bet Jacob/Renesmee fan fiction exists- I’m willing to bet my 401k on this- and I can’t imagine the creepiness. Oh, I’m sure it’s not some pedophilia stuff about you as a child with Jacob, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t care that Jacob’s body is frozen in time. Even if you are 10 with the body of a 17 year old, and Jacob is only 27 with the body of a 17 year old, you’re still TEN YEARS OLD. And he is TWENTY-SEVEN. And he kissed your MOMMY. I don’t care if that was because he loved her future unborn child that neither one of them knew about. THIS IS JUST ALL TOO CREEPY FOR ME TO HANDLE.

Also, I can’t believe I wrote an entire letter where I said Daddy & Mommy 16 times. I feel weird. I’m gonna go get drunk now- like a proper adult.

Love (sort of),
Aunt UnintendedChoice

Let’s talk Renesmee. Do you love her? Did you love her? Are you creeped out? Discuss!

And if you’re NOT creeped out, you will be after you see this:

Click. Seriously now. Click

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