New Moon: Are you ready for us?

Noreen & Bunny: Reunited

Dear New Moon,

It’s almost time. I can’t believe it. This time next week I’ll be writing to you from the comfort of Moon’s bed. That’s right, I, UnintendedChoice aka Bunny aka my real, real name, will be arriving in Los Angeles in just a mere 4 days to spend SIX blessed days with my friend Moon. We have a FULL itinerary and don’t worry, it revolves completely around you. Here are a few things we have planned:

• Bon fire on the beach- but not your traditional fire in a hole while you sit around and tell scary stories. No. We’re decorating this beach like a reservation and all going to wear traditional Quileute costumes- No Vamps Allowed! Moon is whipping up her replica of Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry & we’re gonna fry up anything we can find. Seaweed? Check. Marshmellows? Check. Little baby minnos that I accidentally step on when I go feel the temperature of the water? Check. We plan to invite the Wolfpack to join us and know we can get them to come with the promise of “Hot lesbians on a beach.” (We’ll just leave out the fake part)

• Hijack various food trucks around LA and retro fit them with stalking capabilities. We’ll then lure Rob in with Korean tacos and kidnap him. What happens next is all just private, intimate details. Fine. We’ll squeal. Go to fanfiction.net and pick your favorite story. That’s what we’ll be doing. Don’t worry if you all pick different favorites. We’ll get to them all. That’s right. We’re going to act out every single Twilight fanfiction available. Plus, we’re throwing in a bonus 7th Heaven FanFic marathon. Have you always wondered whatever happened to Mary? Wonder no more. Rob & I are going to show you.. with our bodies…

• 

  Bunny & Noreen: Just poor maids at Chateau Marmont

  Hang out at Chateau Marmont for as long as it takes to find Rob & Kristen and then sneak up on them (posed as maids of course) in attempt to catch them mid-kiss on camera. Cuz that shizz is gonna make someone rich. And selling pics of those crazy kids getting into cabs doesn’t pay people. And we have a reputation to uphold. We have fish fry to make, matching fake lesbian La Perla lingerie to buy and the salary we get as fake lesbian fake french maids at the Chateau Marmont is not making anyone rich. So we’re determined that we’ll be the ones to sell that coveted picture (plus it would make a really great Christmas present for Calliope our resident Robsten-shipper). Rob & Kristen- I hear there’s a bonus if we catch you with tongue (seriously- I saw a sign in my local Post Office that said “Wanted. Without or without Tongue: Picture of Robsten kissing. With Tongue $10,000 Bonus”, so… can you help some poor french maids out?  S’il vous plait?

• Glamour Shots- We’ve asked a photographer friend to take our “Glamour Shots” for whenever Steph Meyer e-mails us and asks for our picture to put in HER header

Uh oh. Big Daddy Lautner has some competition...

• Not first on the priority list, but we’re willing to ‘take one for the team’ if it means getting close to the REAL stars. Yes- That means we might have to shack up, one night, with the likes of Eric Yorkie (I do a mean impression of a feminine guy), Marty the 100 Monkey’s Bananager or, gulp, Big Daddy Lautner. We have plenty of vodka ready, just in case we have to choose any of those 3 options- we actually have it disguised IN Big Gulp cups- ya know, to entice Big Daddy (don’t worry, his will be the REAL thing.. ours will just be filled to the brim with 72 ounces of straight grey goose) You can do anything for the team when you have alcohol poisoning!

• Show up to the premiere theater to interview fans who have been waiting in line for 4 days with questions like “What do you say to the fans who think they are the most dedicated but haven’t been standing in line for the past 4 days, stinking up the entire area around them?” and encouragement like, “Okay, now show us your best impression of Bella- go ahead- grab that mildly retarded looking guy over there- yes. Now be Bella & Retarded Edward. You might win…. a prize!” (Or an entire post dedicated to you as the 2nd hand embarrassing mascot of the year)

• Hold a Bible Study (on a Wednesday, of course) with Kellan. We’ll invite Nikki Reed over to pray about her situation with Paris Latsis. What situation? Just the one where she’s dating him and the inevitable health problems that are soon to show up down south. We’ll gather for a laying of hands. And Kellan will probably get confused and inappropriately touch us (not that we’ll complain…)

Can’t wait to see you!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What did I miss!? (besides actually watching New Moon!)

So maybe I exaggerated some of the things on our itinerary, but they are somewhat true. We are going to hit up some Korean taco trucks, we are having a BBQ on the beach. We WILL show up to the premiere to have some laughs and I wouldn’t be surprised if, from time to time, I crave a diet coke in one of those Big Gulp cups. Does ANY of that sound appealing to you? Are YOU going to be in LA or do you live close by? A big group of LTT/LTR gals is getting together for lots of good times. E-mail us if you want to know what’s going down!

The Forum LTR Twitter

Cashing in on the Twilight/New Moon connection for a “good cause?”

Dear Twilight cast members-

Good on you guys for lending your celebrity to a good cause! It you’re going to be chased around by paparazzi and idolized by folks all over the world you might as well give a voice to a great cause. And you are! Witness the latest in go gooders…

Angie got back!

Dear Christian,

What a classy homage to the horror that is the fur trade industry while gently alluring to the fact that you’re in Twilight. The forest, the mist, the Twilight font and what else says vampire and dead furry animals than blood splatters all over the PETA ad?

Too bad you play a human.

XO
Moon

PS nice booty lady!
c
c
c
c

Doin' it for the kids!

Dear Kristen,

You make it harder and harder for me to keep up this facade of not liking you when you go and make an appearance at the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation walk during the middle of a busy press tour for New Moon when you could have been taking a nap or eating cheetos.

Can you break out the mullet or act surly again, please?

XO
Moon

Follow the jump to see Taylor work it for a good cause…

How to Deflower A Twilight Virgin

We’re less than 2 weeks away from the release of New Moon. Are your plans set or are you like one of the many people who have emailed us saying they have NO Twi-lovin’ friends and therefore are attending the midnight showing alone? Unacceptable! We enlisted the help of LTT friend HeyyyBrother to instruct us HOW to take away the Twi-virginity of your friends and family. Follow her instructions and you’ll have someone to split a $7.00 diet coke in two Thursday nights!

Edward Cullen: Virgin

Dear Twilight-Lovin’ Floozies,

(I mean that in the most complimentary way possible, promise…)

Between LTT/LTR, Twitter, and my overactive imagination, I spend so much time immersed in all things Twi that I sometimes forget that there are people out there who are still Twilight virgins.  My very best friend was one of them.  Even in the midst of early New Moon mania, she remained blissfully unaware of all things Twilight.  The kind of unaware where you could say “Edward Cullen” to her and she’d ask if that was a friend or coworker.  She had never even gotten to first base with Twilight.

She watched my downward spiral into addiction from afar, not really understanding what I was getting myself into.  Thankfully she’s the most understanding and open-minded person I know, so when I finally revealed to her the depths of my obsession, she simply laughed and supported me, never judging me for being what could be considered the Twilight equivalent of a nymphomaniac… a Twilomaniac, if you will. Pretty amazing, right?  It was then that I saw the potential in her; the potential to recruit her to the dark side.  I dropped hints that she should read the books, but she’d never been much of a reader.  I realized that was a lost cause and shifted gears to the movie.  Better that than nothing, right?

It’s our job as seasoned Twilomaniac hussies to find new conquests, but there’s a lot of responsibility that goes along with being the person to take one’s Twilight v-card…  It’s not something you should ever take lightly.  In the event that any of you find yourself in a similar situation, I’ve compiled a list of helpful tips.

Taylor Lautner: Virgin (But only because Chris Hansen scares away anyone willing to take away his v-card)

Are We Both Ready?  Things to consider before it’s too late.

• Keep your obsession in check. Your friend will never be interested in getting intimate with Twilight if all you do is talk about Twilight.  Your best bet is to mention it every now and then, just throwing a little teaser out there – something to let her know about the swooning she’s missing out on.  Let her know that you feel strongly about the series, but it might be best to hide your extensive collection of Twi-porn that may or may not be limited to binders full of FanFic, Team Edward/Jacob/Switzerland garb, action figures, etc.  Definitely hide your New Moon Advent Calendar and/or Countdown Chain made of construction paper.  You don’t want to scare her off before you’ve even had the opportunity to pop it in.  The DVD, I mean…
• Make sure it’s 100% consensual.  The day my friend told me she was ready to watch Twilight was a joyous occasion.  You don’t want to force this on them.  If she’s not ready, she may very well end up hating the entire experience.  No regrets!
• They should be of appropriate age.  There’s some pretty mature content and material involved here.  Don’t make me call Chris Hanson on you… I’ve already got him on speed dial since your borderline inappropriate crush on innocent little Taylor, coupled with your recent plans for a road trip to Georgia, have me more than a little concerned.
• Understand the risks.  If everything goes well, your friend could be surrendering her life over to the obsession just like you did.  She can say goodbye to her free time and her productivity at work. But if it doesn’t go well, your chance to recruit a new convert is over.  Remember: there’s no going back.

Don’t forget protection (and more) after the jump!

Storytime with Moon: The Hot Topic New Moon Twi Tour kick off

Dear LTT-ers,

I ventured out last night with pals Ashley and Chelsea to attend the Twi Tour kick off at Hollywood & Highland with the stars and musicians of New Moon and boy did the stars ever show up! And here’s the story…

So 4 artists from the soundtrack, Band of Skulls, Sea wolf, Anya Marina and Death Cab for Cutie each played 2-4 song sets including their song from the soundtrack. I’m still at little sad that Death Cab only played 2 but oh wells there were bigger n better things to be had

Between each set was about a 15 minute break. We has wristbands for the signing but didn’t want to wait in a line that curled around the building with a bunch of people in New Moon shirts (tres embarassing) we wanted to see the bands and meet people! So we kept an eye on the line as we listened to each band, met Larry Carroll from MTV, met a radio station dude who wanted us to answer trivia (more on this later) and about a billion press folks and annoyed Hot Topic employees.

Finally it was time for us to run up to the signing. There were SO many cast members there that they broke them into two groups. Our group consisted of: Chaske, Kellan, Nikki, Kiowa and Cameron. We chose this group over Ashley/Elizabeth/Alex/Jared because we has already met Ashley and truth be told we really just wanted to hear some alpha wolf voice and exchange bitchface with Nikki.

Because the Hot Topic folks are meanies (aka wanted to keep the line moving) there were to be NO pictures or personal items signed but we had jorts and I told Ashley we should sneak them in! Chaske started signing our posters and I told him we brought some jorts for him to sign since the wolfpack made them famous but that they wouldn’t let us get them signed and he goes give them to me, I’ll sign them! So Ashley whips them out and Chaske begins signing them and Kellan sees this and he’s like WHAT?! And I say you know Jorts for the Wolfpack and he goes Not anymore! And whips them out of Chaske’s hand and starts signing them! The rest of the cast ends up signing the Jorts and now Ashley has a great keepsake! We chit chat some more with them and talk about where we all live and then it’s time to get the H out of the way. FYI Chaske and Kellan are good times! They talked our legs off and we were more than willing for it to happen. Too bad we couldn’t get Twicon/Prom pics with Kellan the whole encounter would have been complete. Like the Twilight circle of life!

TONS more after the jump. Video, pictures, stories, jorts, ROB!

Is Twilight a Chick Flick?

Dearr LTT-ers, Frequently we open the mail bag to bring you letters from our readers. Today’s letter is from K who argues that Twilight is a chick flick and should NOT be watched by watched or the books read by guys. Read her letter and tell us what you think. XO-Moon

For ladies only?

Dear UC and Moon,

Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this:  I don’t want to date a unicorn.  :o  *gasp!*  I know, right?!

We adore our beloved unicorns.  We encourage them.  We create them (to the best of our abilities).  So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?

Lets face it:  Twilight is a chick flick.  Movie and books both.  There’s absolutely no arguing against that.  I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and buttcrack santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever.  I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth.  So without further adieu, I give you my stance.

You know it’s a chick flick when:

• it’s a love story

• the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep

• you here shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen

• the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen

• it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder

• the lead male sparkles

• the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.

• there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so close bella)

• the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.

• the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.

• there’s more silent, awkward turtle, moments then there is action

• the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.

• fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest

• it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”

And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chick-iest of them all.  Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn.  Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy, who’s not afraid to show his emotions, or cry.  Fine, good, be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.

Dear all future boyfriends….

 

Follow the cut to see what boyfriends should NOT do!

(Un)Motivated by Twilight Round 2

Dear everyone who is so freakin’ glad it’s Friday,

I had an EPIC post planned for today. Seriously. You would have laughed till you cried, cried till you laughed and when you finally caught your breath, you would’ve told everyone you know that “UnintendedChoice is my hero- I wanna be like her when I grow up.” Yes. It was that good. But alas, yesterday (the day on which I planned to pen this EPIC post) I woke up with cramps, everything made me cry because of those cramps so I would run to the bathroom at work to have some alone time with my tears. And then in the middle of watching myself sob in the mirror, I’d start to laugh. Because I saw 2 colorful strings hanging outside of pants and trailing behind me. Yes. They were the decorative strings from the bathing suit bottoms I was wearing as underwear and walked around with hanging outside of my jeans for 1/2 the day. And after my laughter, I started to cry again because knowing I was wearing my bathing suit as underwear meant I had to spend my entire weekend doing 6 weeks worth of laundry.

Yeah, my week was like that over and over every day. So I knew the EPIC post would have to wait. So what do I talk about? Should I mention the hilarious tidbit of news 1,000 people emailed us about Buttcrack Santa? Nah. I’ll make you wait for that. How bout I swoon over Jashley’s new photoshoot where they’re kissing? Hmm. I’m gonna keep that for myself.  Did Kristen say anything recently to offend the lesbian community? Probably but… I need to laugh. You need to laugh. So I reached into my treasure chest and was motivated to post a second-round of Motivational Posters because they are just what this Friday needs!

Where’s Daniel “Big Daddy” Lautner?

Have you seen this man?

Dear Taylor,

Where the HALE is your dad?! Every time a new photo of you comes out of you at an airport or running around town I hold my breath as I scroll through each image just waiting to see Bid Daddy’s face among them. Preferably off to the side, holding a to-go box wearing an XXXL polo shirt and some dad pants but alas he’s no where to be found. He’s been missing in action for weeks, maybe even a month since we last saw the man we’ve all come to know and love and refer to affectionately as Big Daddy.

Hmmmm filet o fish

Where could be be? Did he get stuck in Rob’s old hotel room jail cell? Was Summit jealous of the coverage Big Daddy was getting from paps so they threw him in the same cell Rob was in for almost a month? Is Big Daddy jealous of Taylor Swift and all the face time she’s been getting with YOU? I mean, you took her to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and didn’t take Big Daddy? That’s blasphemy! They serve red meat there! I would be hurt too. I’ve even started searching every McDonald’s in the Los Angeles area looking for a cuddly dad in a corner self soothing with a Filet-o-Fish while you’re out on the town with the other half of Swiftner, but he’s no where to be found! It’s as if he never existed! Tell him to stop taking Edward’s words so literally. I can’t take this anymore!

And now you’re off gallivanting through foreign countries with KStew with NO parental guidance? Is Big Daddy sitting at home in his easy chair when the newscaster says “It’s 10PM do you know when your children are?” and NOT KNOW where you are?! I shudder to think.

I’m worried Taylor! Please tell me Daniel “Big Daddy” Lautner is ok.

It’s 10PM do you know where your Big Daddy is?
Themoonisdown

Oh and Dear Kristen,

Nice outfits! No, I’m serious, I swear!

Thank god for press tours! Oh and wanna share shoes?

<3 sometimes,
moon

What say you? is Big Daddy MIA? Where is he? And do you heart or hate KStew’s look in Mexico?

Find Big Daddy at The Forum
Rob’s doing something over at LTR
November’s a crazy month TV wise, Jena has put together a handy dandy viewing guide over the at forum! Set your DVR’s now!

Your really important Twilight news

Dear LTTers,

It has come to our attention that many of you come to us for your Twilight news. I understand. We are a valuable news source for up-to-date twilight news & offer a breath of first-hand knowledge (just see letters: The music Stephenie Meyer REALLY listened to while writing Twilight and Jackson got hurt, did he try the leg hitch?

No seriously? Some of you come to US for news? Guys… I have to confess… we leave a lot out.  In order to bring you a brilliant letter each day, we just have to leave it at that- ONE brilliant letter.  So we miss a lot of really important stuff. In fact, sometimes we’re so focused on breaking down insignificant details of unimportant photo shoots, and naming background characters who tag along with the famous people that we ourselves don’t even know what’s going on in the Twi-world. I feel like that this week. Or the past few weeks. So today I’m going to do a run-down of the latest Twi news. Don’t want you missing anything really important!

• Summit promises to “treat” us with “title treatment” (wtf?) when @twilight receives 200,000 followers on twitter. However, since everyone knows that no one who starts a twitter a month before their SECOND movie releases is to be considered a valuable source for news, they can’t get to 200,000 followers. And someone gets mad. So they release the Eclipse logo. And underwhelm us all. BONUS TIDBIT OF NEWS: Today they just got their 132,763rd follower. They promise to give us something special again IF they reach 200,000. We’re guessing it’s David Slade’s actual height.

• Harper’s Bazaar tweet-hints that they will soon announce who is on their cover for December. They forget who we are. And that we’re not stupid. And as a result they are punished. And the photo shoot leaks. And we laugh. After we stop crying that we’re not Kristen in this photo-shoot and make a mental note to start saving our Hefty trash bags for a little fashion statement of our own.

• Toys R’ Us, yes you heard me right, opened a “New Moon Boutique” further solidifying the fact that we can’t believe we’re involved with this fandom. What do I have in common with 7 year olds who know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? Besides the fact that I also know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? My only question is if they’re going to be carrying any Twilight-related “toys” ifyouknowwhati’msayin’

• Speaking of “toys” and in not-really-Twilight-related-news, but still-Twilight-related, this particular (not work-friendly) toy has been out for awhile now. We’ve been waiting to talk about it until we could review it. I got it about 3 weeks ago, tried it out and sent it to Moon who also tried it out. We just got one, ya know, to save money. We’re going to each keep it for a week and then pass it on. It’ll kinda be like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants except it’s The Sisterhood of the Traveling Sparkling Dildo.* The real news is, though, the reviews of the product. Here are our favs:
  

  OMG! I attatch mine to a wheel chair and pretend Billy Black is effing from behind, then I get another one and attatch a moustache to it and pretend it’s Charlie Swan..he loves it!

  This is highly logical. I ordered four, let’s hope they all fit under my snuggie.

The rest of the Billboard Film and TV Music Conference and my thoughts!

Worst picture of Death Cab ever. Billboard Cover fail!

Dear LTT-ers and music nerds,

I shared with you last week that I attended the Billboard Film and TV Music Conference and gave you all the dirty details on my brief encounter with my favorite man ever, Chris Weitz, but what else happened? I also sat in on the “Anatomy of a Soundtrack: Twilight, New Moon” panel and though I didn’t get any one-on-one time with soundtrack Music Supervisor, Alexandra Patsavas I did take copious amounts of notes, 15ish pages  in fact, so how about I break it down a bit for you? (My snark in italics for your enjoyment)

Anatomy of a Soundtrack: Twilight, New Moon

• Making the Twilight soundtracks were easier because Stephenie is an author that already had a clear vision and sound for her books from what she provided and talked about on her website. Music is a centerpiece to her stories. They wanted the soundtrack to be a musical manifestation of the movie and Stephenie’s story

• Chris had a clear point of view about the music he wanted in New Moon: somber
  (and appropriate for denim cut-offs and sleep number beds)

• 

  Alexandra hard at work creating the soundtrack aka reading Domward Fanfic

  Chop Shop/Alexandra began working on New Moon last December and were approached by countless bands and managers who wanted to be on the soundtrack. They picked artists who wanted to be part of the team , provide solely exclusive material and weren’t afraid to talk about the movie. It was all about cohesion and the artists they ended up choosing, in their minds, could all play a festival bill together.
  (a festival of wrist slashing music! my favorite! bandaids not included)

• New Moon is the first movie Alex has worked on that was a sequel

• They had what Alex called an “embarrassment of riches” when it came to options and artists to choose from for the NM Soundtrack. So many more than they could include. Almost 20 cd’s worth of material

• Chris invited 6-7 potentials artists into the cutting room to show them cuts of the movie, spend time with the artists talking about tone and feeling from the scenes and what he was looking for musically. He took the time because he wanted the right songs. That is why everything fits so well according to Alexandra, the Atlantic VP and Paul Katz (Summit)

Read more about the Soundtrack panel including info on Remember Me AND stuff about Rob and his Music as well as more tid bits from Chris Weitz and Alexandre Desplat’s panel after the cut!

New Moon expectations

Deepest Loss- THIS is why I can't wait for this film

Dear young teachable ones,

Do you remember your first time? You had already fallen in love. You had already been through a lot together, and then the unexpected happens. And your heart is ripped out and you don’t want to go on. You want to close your eyes and fall into a deep sleep- someone waking you when the pain has passed. New Moon is like that for everyone. I know we can each name a friend or two who has thrown the book across the room and refused to continue to read. If you were one of those people who got your entire group of friends to read the book, you know this especially well. Friends loved you after Twilight and wondered why you kept that book from them for so long. And then by the time they got to New Moon, they replaced their gratefulness with anger. But that, too, passes. And eventually you and your friends read New Moon again and appreciate all the things about the book that you missed the first time (like chapters 3-17).

New Moon is such a powerful book filled with that emotion of deepest loss that so many can relate to. This is why I cannot wait for the movie. Plus it has Rob. And the wolfpack. Shirtless. Plus Rob shirtless. And Taylor. And Rob. And was directed by Chris Weitz, DILF of the year. Plus Alice is dressed better. And Jasper has that awful wig that will provide countless jokes for months to come. And Rob. Shirtless. All those things plus an awesome story? All that to say, I cannot wait.

Fine, I also can't wait for the Jort-pack

But I have to be honest. I’m concerned that in the upcoming weeks as the press starts to have private viewings and then when we see the film on November 20th, some of us are going to be disappointed. There has been so much hype surrounding this movie that it’s been built up in our minds to be so far and beyond what Twilight was. That’s not a hard feat because, as we’ve said before, Twilight blew, but I think the bar has been set SO HIGH for New Moon that if anything is off slightly from what is expected, fans are going to come after Chris Weitz by the hundreds. I know Moon said he carries that man-bag around with him, but I don’t know if he can load it with enough rocks to ward off a mob of angry, cock-blocked Twihards. But despite this, despite if it flops at the box office (right…) and if it gets reviews worse than “From Justin to Kelly,” I think I’ll still love it. I think we can ALL still love it. And I think it’s all about managing our expectations.

Let’s not go into New Moon on opening night thinking it’s going to be like Schindler’s List. If we accept that it will more likely mirror Bring it On Again, it might be easier to love if it’s a major dud. Accept it NOW. They will NOT cover EVERY detail in the book. They have 200 minutes to bring a 25 chapter book to life. Plus they have to backtrack and include some details Twilight left out (Cathy Hardi is sipping her Ultimate Pina Colada at TGIFridays saying “suckaassss” right now) They will leave out details you feel are important and they will add details IN that you think are stupid. ACCEPT it now!

Okay, THIS might also be a reason why I can't wait for this film

There will be things that will be cheesy. It’s CGI and WOLVES. Big, non-existent computerized wolves. They will not look real. Cuz wolves like that don’t really exist. Accept IT now! Rob will occasionally sound British. He can’t help it. He’s British. Accept it! Kristen will stutter & blink. She learned that in when she was 13 and in Panic Room when the director yelled “Look scared” and she said “How?” and he responded “Stutter & blink!” Colors will be different. The order of events will be different. Characters will be different. Characters will be ADDED (Please God let there be a New Moon equivalent of Buttcrack Santa (Tequila Tomas is a viable option)) ACCEPT it NOW! You WILL be cock-blocked like in the book. Edward and Bella don’t get it on. Rob won’t be getting naked. There will be fight scenes to “bring in a male audience” that weren’t present in the book. Someone will wear their New Moon burger king crown to the movie theater blocking your view, and little girls will be in the theater with their “Team Jacob” t-shirts and you will judge their mothers for allowing them to come despite their age. ACCEPT IT NOW.

New Moon is a book that plays out differently in each of our minds. And it’s being brought to the big screen from the minds of just a handful of people. We are different. They are different. They visualize things we never would and don’t visualize things we do (Rob naked). If we focus on what WE want then we WILL be disappointed. Let’s just remember it’s a book we love and we get to see it play out BEFORE our very eyes! And Rob will make us swoon. Does anything else really matter?

Love your friendly neighborhood expectation manager,
UnintendedChoice

Seriously, I went into Twilight having ZERRROOOO expectations. I actually expected it to suck. And I came out loving it, even though it blew. I want that to happen so badly with New Moon!

What expectations do you need to get rid of in order to fully enjoy New Moon?

Moon has a theory on LTR
Talk it out further on The Forum
Deepest Loss painting from one of my fav artists, Adrienne Trafford